adventurousobservations

[adventurousobservations]

You can still have that 2020 vision

It’s been way too long since I was writing. But I keep seeing people posting about how 2020 has let them down and hearing people talk about how 2020 ruined all their plans, and I wanted to offer a little insight.

Now, to start - 2020 has definitely both let me down and ruined all my plans. in about 2 weeks I was supposed to be getting married, whilst shortly after applying for Kaleb’s visa. I was supposed to be moving forward with more training at work and getting everything organised for Kaleb to move here. Hopefuly, Kaleb will still be moving here on schedule, but I’ll get back to that later. In the meantime, I would like to share 3 things I’ve learned so far from this pandemic, in the hopes that those who are struggling can know they are not alone, and can also take their destiny into their own hands.

Firstly - it is okay to grieve. We are used to hearing the words grief and grieving when somebody close dies. But the true definition of grief is to feel great sorrow. Allow your time to grieve what you have lost - whether it is a lost family member, or all the festivals you will now miss out on. Pain is pain. Grief is grief. Whatever you have lost, grieve it. And don’t feel shame for it. Grieving will help you move onto the next stages in helping you cope with the current crisis. What we are all currently going through is a trauma. It will impact you in ways that you may not have even noticed or begun to understand yet, but don’t let that scare you. First, grieve. Mourn the loss of all the plans that had to be cancelled and changed.

Secondly - it is okay to feel.  Maybe you are basking in the joy of not having to keep up with your demanding social life. Maybe you are grateful for all the time you now have to spend with your parents/children. Maybe you are celebrating not having to work. Maybe you are relishing a well deserved break. Whatever it is, do not feel guilty. Joy, happiness and gratitude (along with every other emotion) are nothing to feel guilt about. It is a lesson in discovering our truest selves. If you are enjoying the lack of a social life, maybe it is time to let go of some friends who don’t really fit in with your ideals. If you are grateful for more time with your parents/children, why did it take a pandemic to realise you missed them? If you are celebrating not going to work, maybe it’s time to rethink your career. If you are relishing your break, what can you change to not need a pandemic to give you a break? Reevaluating and asking question are not bad. The answers are not bad. And if you are feeling the exact opposite to all of this. That’s okay too. Ask different questions about how you feel. This brings us to the next topic.  Learn to be comfortable with your own thoughts and feelings, because these teach you about you.

Thirdly - learn to adapt. We are used to adapting the world to fit us. But now we must adapt to fit the current circumstances. You all know someone working from home, you’ve all seen people using any video chat service available to communicate, and you’ve all seen instagram explode with live streams and constant updates (even more so than before). These are (or can be) very important ways in which we learn to adapt. But also remember that you do not have to adapt in all these ways the same way everyone else has. As I mentioned before, we are all going to be feeling different things and also learning about ourselves from how we feel - if we choose to. We must adapt not only in the essentials we have been forced to, but adapt ourselves to thrive from this lifestyle instead of simply surviving. Find a way to work, learn or serve from home. Find a way to create, share, experience from your own space. Learn to be your best self, even when you are physically limited because we are never spiritually limited unless we believe that we are.

Let me bring you up to date with everything that has happened to my circumstances in the last 4 weeks which have allowed me to learn these things. A month ago, Kaleb and I had a conversation that we would wait a week or two more to book our plane tickets, to see how things with the pandemic panned out. A few days later, the announcement was made in the UK for us to go into lockdown. The next day, my landlords told me that they were going to self isolate for 12 weeks and that I was welcome to continue to stay and they would waive rent costs, but I couldn’t go to work. Since my job is vital for getting Kaleb’s visa, 4 hours later I was on my way back to live with my parents in a car stuffed with all my belongings which had accumulated as I hadn’t been planning on moving for at least another 6 months. My 20 minute commute by foot had now been turned into a 40 minute commute by car, which is only that quick because the lockdown has decreased traffic. We then had to make the decision to postpone the wedding, and instead need to apply for a fiance visa which will get Kaleb here in August/September (if current circumstances don’t hold up his visa application). 

Why am I telling you my sob story? Because it’s not a sob story. It’s my life. And I am coming to terms now with the grief I have held back. I adapted because I was forced to, not by choice. I feel joy that I only have to work half days, and that I have more time to play and create. I have realised that maybe once this is over I may want to take an advance in a different direction in my career. But on a daily basis, it doesn’t look as black and white as that. I am definitely not writing all of this from a totally zen state, showing you the way through my perfect example. Life is messy even at the best of times, and it is especially this way now. I am writing this as I figure out my own headspace. If you are reading this, I thank you for taking the time, and I hope all the best for you and hope this pandemic has not affected you too much. We are all learning and growing. Let this weird and crazy time remind you of who you really are, what you really want and what you need to do. Be creative. Be innovative. Be you. Go get your new and re-defined 2020 vision.

[adventurousobservations]

Shall we go get ice cream?

The harder I try, the harder it gets. The harder I try to be open, honest and raw, the more resistance I get in return, from friends and family alike. The more I turn inwards to focus on self growth and outwards to share the love and growth I’ve newly discovered, the less it is appreciated and the more I receive critique of how this and that could be improved or changed. The more passion I ignite in my soul, to uplift my spirit and change the world for good, the more people mock and belittle the changes I make to be better. The longer I choose to go into hiding because I don’t want to burden others with my mental health, my worries and my oddities, the easier it gets for others to forget I exist. The nicer I am and the more kindness I show, yet another human takes a stab at my already delicate exterior. The longer I continue on the paths of change and adventure, the harder it gets to keep on changing and adventuring, as the faults keep bombarding like hail and the challenges keep arriving like sudden potholes tripping my feet and making me lose my footing, if only for a second. The harder I try to determine how best to take care of my body and to listen to what it needs to stay healthy, the harder resentment of its natural form come to me, in the form of losing yet another pound, in the form of another’s jealousy for a figure I did not feel like I got much choice in having. The more determined I become to succeed, to thrive and to be better, the more I am wrong, I am weak, I am a failure. Harder and harder I pound at my boundaries, begging them to widen and stretch to allow new growth and light into my world, but darker and darker the days grow and longer and longer it feels since I had a true friend ask me “Are you okay?”

This is my perception, of which is so often accurate, at least to me. But in the times where my mind drowns in the ache of friendships and relationships gone cold, gone sour or just gone, those are the times I forgot that the clouds are just one layer. That the ocean is deeper than it is wide, and that a good intention finally goes recognised.

The days where I share a thought and get rewarded with 4 or 5 reciprocal thoughts and feelings, a sharing of passion and a depth of friendship increased. The seconds of self doubt and self pity are just seconds in the picture of a life not yet fully lived, the history of successes and the future of achievements not yet foreseen. The moments where the harder I try, the more determined I feel in my heart to leave this world better than I found it, to show others that raw emotions are not to be hidden and mocked but to be appreciated and learned from - because they are what make us truly alive. The hours where we stumble and fall to our knees are the hours where a stranger picks us up and dusts us off, leaving with a smile and no idea the impact they had on our lives. The times of misinterpretation and misinformation that lead us to resentment, could instead lead us to new light and new growth - the chance to renew. The day where we cry and cry at our disappointment in ourselves only to hear from the one who matters most say “I am so proud of you.” The moments where all of the pieces of a gigantic puzzle which we saw as negative and unsuccessful somehow magically fall together, to build something better than we ever planned or imagined. The days where I feel alone, miserable and a true proficient in how to fail at life, are the days where a true friend asks “Shall we go get ice cream?”

[adventurousobservations]

Is it enough? 8 ways to begin your plastic free journey.

So July has come to an end, but my plastic free journey is set to continue. My metal straws arrived today (covered in plastic, but thankfully recycleable plastic). But with all these changes I’ve made, and hopefully continue to make, I can’t help but think: is it enough? Is it ever going to be enough? My contribution to the plastic free campaign is only a very small drop in a very big ocean, and as insignificant as it may seem, I hope that just by the plastic I skip out on, at least that means a smaller percentage of plastic in the environment, and hopefully moving forward with how easy some changes are, other people, perhaps whoever reads this blog, will be inspired to cut down on their plastic, little by little.

So to make the transition from inspiration to change a little easier, here are some tips and tricks - tried and tested by me or others (I’ll try to rank them from easiest to hardest). I’ve included ways to re-use plastic that you might already have before you purchase any new or fancy re-usables.

1. Re-use bags. Whether you buy a re-usable bag or re-use the ones you already have, this is by far the easiest and cheapest change you can make, and in the UK, you’d be saving yourself some money. These can be re-used for your fresh fruits and vegetables too. An estimated 1 trillion plastic bags are used each year. That’s 209 for each person on the planet. At 5p a bag, that’s a spend of £10.45 a year. If you re-used a bag you already have, you’d save a lot of turtles and also enough to... 

2. Buy a re-usable water bottle. Just because the bottle says “BPA free” doesn’t mean that it’s ”other chemicals” free, so to reduce the amount of chemicals and microplastics in the water that you drink, buy a metal or glass water bottle. I purchased a King Do Way stainless steel water bottle, which is double walled and vacuum sealed, and when I put ice in with my water, the ice stays for about 10 hours. (10/10, would recommend!) A recent article I read said that, if you were to buy your 2L of water a day in plastic bottles at 69p, you would be spending £425 a year on water. Why pay extra if you’re already paying your water bill? Save £400 a year and your body from chemicals and buy yourself a bottle.

3. Switch to solid soap. I’ve heard some say that this was their number one easy swap, but for me it was a little trickier, because I’m a bit fussy when it comes to skin products. But if you’re not fussy, you can purchase soap for as cheap as 50p a bar, and sometimes cheaper when bought in bulk from places like amazon. These soaps tend to be made of more natural ingredients, so safer for your skin and for the environment.

4. Buy some re-usable straws. This one is not at the top of everyone’s list, but if you’re a straw drinker, this one is for you. Among the top offenders, plastic “disposable” straws are one of the worst. Whereas you can actually recycle plastic bags, plastic straws are not as widely recycled as it is not deemed worthwhile due to their size. But there are many different reusable options with straws - glass, metal, bamboo, silicon. You can even buy collapsable straws which you can carry with you in case you want to go out and have a drink and not damage the environment in the process. (P.S. As pretty as the colourful straws are, I was very dissapointed when they arrived individually wrapped in plastic. The plain silver ones only came in an external plastic bag to keep the bag clean - still unnecessary in my eyes but not so wasteful! If you’re buying online, sometimes reviews will state what packaging the products come in, but if not, you can usually contact the seller.)

5. Shop at a farmer’s market. Although some markets do use plastic bags to carry, the produce is mainly unwrapped, meaning that you don’t have to feel guilty about trying to be healthy and eating vegetables. They often also sell things like milk and juice in glass bottles which can be re-used for so many different things at home, or returned and re-used by the farmers. And if this doesn’t work for you...

6. Switch to tins. Contrary to popular belief, preserved fruits and vegetables (tinned, frozen, dried, etc) are just as healthy, if not sometimes healthier, than the fresh versions. This is because as son as they are picked and gathered, they are put through their designated preservation techniques, preserving the vital micronutrients that keep us healthy, whereas the “fresh” fruits and vegetables have been siting in the supermarkets for a few days, and have previously travelled possibly thousands of miles to sit there in the first place. The main plastic free conender are tins, and these can often be a lot cheaper than buying the fresh version anyway and can be stored for much longer. So save yourself some money and switch where you can.

7. Shampoo & Conditioner bars. Although this was one of the first things for me to change, it is not an easy transition for everyone. It can take a while to get work out how to use the products on your hair and also to find out which type is right for you. If this is a worry for you, I would reccomend going into somewhere like lush and having them do a demo for you, so that you can get a (not literal) taste for how to work with these products. Alternatively, places like lush sell their chemical free liquid shampoos and conditioner, and you can return the bottles when you’re done so they can recycle them.

8. Invest in plastic free Beauty Products. The main source of these I have found so far are from a website called “Plastic Freedom”. I know there are others, but this one has the most variety and range of products. This one is probably one of the harder ones as it means letting go of your beloved brands, and I haven’t tried the products yet, but just looking at the products available has me excited to invest in some soon..

I hope that these are useful tips and you find some way to incorporate them into your lives. One of my main motivations to continue this journey, is that the Earth does a pretty good job of taking care of us, so we should repay the favour however we can.

[adventurousobservations]

“Where in the world can you go anymore and not find plastic?”

Halfway through the week, I found myself walking through the mall, with a lidless, strawless drink from KFC. My friend laughing at me, not for being plastic free, but because she wouldn’t trust herself not to drop it or spill it everywhere. The same thoughts were going through my mind. But this week, I have been inspired to be even more mindful of not just the plastic, but the waste I use.

As I have been recently converted to naked beauty products, and the most accessible source of these being Lush, I have been browsing their website to get a feel for what is in their products and which ones I might like to try. And I noticed this turtle bath bomb, part of Lush’s campaign to “go naked” and cut the use of plastic bags which turtles confuse with one of their main food sources - jellyfish.

I was, again, finding inspiration via a plastic free instagram page, and a follower had asked the question “How do I become plastic free when I still live in my parents’ home?” Among the advice was, “Have them watch ‘A Plastic Ocean’ on Netflix.” So, that was added to my research this week. I want to add, that I know that these kinds of documentaries are dramatised, but for me, this is an issue that is often downplayed and pushed aside, and some of the “drama” in this documentary needs to be seen for the world to really understand that the way we live does affect the world we live in. Within the first 20 minutes, an array of animals trapped by plastic and waste are shown (and so that you are more inclined to watch it, at the end they do show these animals being released), but  this wasn’t the most shocking revelation to me. It was the image of plastic bottles and other plastic waste strewn across the deep ocean floor. The waste improperly disposed and now broken up and polluting the surface of the ocean.

I won’t go into depth about the whole documentary, I would highly recommend that you watch it if you’re interested in the plastic free campaign, or even if you’re not. But the main thoughts that I took from watching it, was the need to reduce waste. Humans are the only species on this planet that do not contribute to the natural cycle of the food chain without damaging it. If we look at the ocean, the smallest life forms, like algae, take their energy from the sun, larger creatures eat algea, larger creatures eat them, and so on until you get to the larger animals - turtles, whales, sharks, who eat these smaller creatures, but contribute back to the food chain when they die. With the way that humans are producing and using waste, predominately plastic, this cycle is being disrupted at all levels of the food chain. There are detectable levels of plastic in all levels of the aquatic food chain. 

But this isn’t just a “Save the oceans!” awareness blog post. As well as that, it’s about us as humans being more aware of what we are doing, not just to the oceans, but to the planet and ourselves. When I saw a counsellor for help with overcoming anxiety, mindfulness was suggested to me on a few occasions, a technique which often uses meditation to help someone become more aware of their body, their surroundings and their mind, and to bring them together in a positive way. I feel that with mindfulness and meditation, an awareness of the way we live also must come into play, to really become aware of ourselves, our surroundings and what we really think and believe in. It then becomes a choice of whether we are willing to go on blissfully unaware of what is going on around us, or whether we want to change that and make a change to our own lives for the benefit of everyone. The only constant thing in this life is change, which we can either be subjected to or the creators of, and I would prefer to be the creator of change than the creator of a polluted planet, 

[adventurousobservations]

Plastic Free July - Week 1: A personal change

I found out about plastic free July on the 1st July. The week before I had been at church and had a really great opportunity to reflect on my life, my current situation and where I wanted to be in the future, and in the past few months I have heard more and more about companies developing products to reduce, re-use and recycle waste, with many friends doing their part to wage war on plastic and unnecessary waste. As I started to read about this venture that others were embarking on, I felt inspired and that this was something I really wanted to try this month, and to then incorporate what I could into life after July. 

So first of all, I decided what my goal would be. I was seeing all these companies promoting the plastic free July challenge, which is to give up the use of single use plastics, but their advertisements and posts were also adding being “completely plastic free”. I decided that I wouldn’t try to do more than I was able and to take one step at a time, starting with the single use plastics. I reflected and researched the most common “offenders” for single use plastic and decided that I would focus on my body, bathroom & beauty products. The others mostly involve kitchen and food purchasing, and since I do not own or run my own home, I do this where I can but am limited - although mum has decided to join in where she can.

When you think of beauty & bathroom products, you think of the flawlessy designed packaging, the lovely smells and the way these products do great things for your body and your skin. But as I delved into finding out more, I discovered that these are not so innocent in the game of waste. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, roll on deoderant, make up wipes, moisturisers, face wash, make up and more all use completely plastic packaging, with spray on deoderants, hairspray and suncream coming in as “not so bad” with their metal cans but plastic lids. I also discovered that products like shampoo, conditioner and body/face wash can all be produced in solid forms, and that they are commercially made with water added, which adds to the packaging and also to pollution with the resources they consume with creating all the packaging and then the transporation of the bulky products. So with my new goal in mind, I formed a plan in my head to cut out single use plastics in my personal care routine where I could. I have decided to cut out a couple of things where I can, and to use up the products that I already have as I don’t want these to be wasted. I began with switching from liquid shampoo and conditioner, to shampoo and conditioner bars. I had heard mixed reviews, but was willing to give it a try. I definitely had an interesting experience! The shampoo bar was great, just scrubbed it over my head and it lathered up almost instantly, washing my hair just as quickly as liquid shampoo, and with less product. The conditioner bar was where it got interesting. I had made the mistake of not really reading up on how to use one, but thought it would be similar to the shampoo and made do by rubbing it vigorously onto my hair, as I had done witht the shampoo. I felt as though nothing was really transferring to my hair, and then decided to rinse it out and see if it had worked. This was when I noticed my hair felt conditioned and smooth. As I dried my hair, my hair felt fluffier and lighter than usual (the fluffy part not so great with long and thick hair...) and also a little drier, but when it did dry, I felt like my hair was almost as smooth as with my regular routine. I have heard reviews that say their hair gets dry from the conditioner bar, and friends that say they dried out their scalps, but I have now discovered a big factor. Conditioners are made with liquid silicon which is added to give your hair that silky smooth feeling, but isn’t really the best thing for your hair or the oceans where that water may eventually go. Although it’s not for everyone, I definitely recommend trying these out! Mine are from Lush, but you can find them online and at other zero waste/plastic free shops.

I was knee deep in an instagram page about a woman who is proclaimed plastic free, sells plastic free products and promotes plastic free living, when I watched a video she posted about bamboo toothbrushes. These are so great as the bamboo can be recylced or composted, and drastically cuts down the plastic consumption. Firstly though, she said, you must remove the plastic bristles. This really shocked me at first as I realised that although they are claimed to be so much better, no alternative has been found to replace the plastic bristles. This made me think as well about how so many people who proclaim plastic free, can’t ever actually be plastic free, due to things like credit cards, phones, cars, computers, money and many other household items. But as I pondered this, I thought that for me, being completely plastic free wasn’t the point of this journey. For me, my mindset has taken a shift. I have been able to discover what products are actually beneficial for me, whether they need to come in a plastic container or alternatives can be found, to look around me and see what else I can change for others and their benefit, and also for the benefit of this planet we live on. I am a firm believer that if you take care of yourself and others, you will be taken care of in some way when you need it. I hope this month that this mindset will become more firm and I will be able to find other ways to better be mindful of what I am using, whether I need it or whether I can be open to change something to improve my lifestyle and change my way of living. I have wanted for a while to become more minimalistic and to be more grateful for the things that I have and to not be surrounded by so much clutter, but wasn’t really sure where to begin that didn’t involve me just throwing out all my posessions and only having 2 tops, a pair of jeans and my guitar to get me by. This week as I have more fully noticed what is actually around me, I have felt that this mindset and goal are closer to my reach as I change into the mindset that convenience and consumerism is not really the lifestyle that I want to pursue (but cutting back on my clothes shopping will be a hard habit to break). Now, onto another week of reducing my plastic footprint.

[adventurousobservations]

Spring into the rest of the year.

1st March is what we usually refer to as the first day of Spring, but due to adverse weather conditions, Spring has been postponed in the UK until further notice. For me, the weather conditions closely mimic my recent mental state. It’s a blizzard, and the madness won’t end. Snow keeps piling up and the winds keep blowing. Being in my second year of my university course, the work keeps piling up, and my other responsibilities keep howling at me for attention. Starting the year with 2 exams, 2 assignments due almost immediately after, and then shortly after that 4 deadlines within 4 weeks, as well as materials to revise and lectures and labs to attend, it all just got a little bit too overwhelming. And by a little, I mean a lot. It seemed impossible. And even when one thing was complete and I would bask in my success, it wasn’t long before I felt crushed by the weight of the next thing to come. 

It was an endless cycle of assignments and resposibilities and pressures, with me trying to make my way through whilst also pretty sure that it would never end. People would tell me “Don’t stress” and I just thought “What else am I suposed to do?” Definitely not the right mindset, and I knew that, but I didn’t know how to get out of it. I kept being told to take care of myself, to do things for me, and to just keep working through all the deadlines, to take it one step at a time and that everything would be okay. But I never felt okay. I kept thinking that if I took time out “for me” then I would fall behind, then I would get even more stressed trying to catch up. I thought that my steady pace through those deadlines wasn’t steady enough, and that no matter how hard I tried it would never be enough. I was stuck in a toxic trap of negative thoughts that fed other negative thoughts, my positivity screaming at me to be let out but I thought I didn’t know how. I felt completely alone. I was surrounded by loving, supporting family and friends, but I felt like I was trapped in a stone cell that was impenetrable to any positivity.

It was my birthday and I woke up at 4am. My head full of thoughts of complete frustration and overwhelming sorrow that I couldn’t do it anymore. I checked my phone and saw the texts wishing me happy birthday, but still felt disconnected. I didn’t see the point anymore. Through it all, I knew that I loved what I was learning. But it didn’t feel like enough to get through the stress and the chaos in my mind. In that moment I thought to myself that I needed to reach out for help. So I went next door and got into bed with my mum, and cried to her for about an hour while she kindly listened and then suggested things that I might do. I still felt overwhelmed, but at least I didn’t feel so alone. I then got a phone call from my boyfriend to say happy birthday, and he also kindly listened and then suggested things that I might do. I didn’t feel like I could cope with university that day, and since it was my birthday anyway I gave myself the day off. And as my friends noticed that I wasn’t in university, they asked if I was okay, and shared advice as I told them what was wrong. 

I was frustrated with myself for allowing myself to stay in such a frustrated, negative, stressful and intoxiacting mindset for so long. But the contrast from that to the next step, knowing I wasn’t alone, that I was capable of doing anything I set my mind to, that just because something is hard doesn’t mean it is impossible. To go from the snowstorm of negativity to the spring of positive living. It’s not even a complete process yet, but the transformation is already a dramatic significance for me.

So as I continue to turn it all around and see positive, I decided to make March my month of me. Not by being selfish and making everyone realise that the whole world revolves around me, but by doing things that build me up, give me passion and purpose, and just make my soul feel good. So despite the dreary cold outside, and despite the continuous mountain of snowy school work that continues to pile on top of me, I am making my effort to bring in the spring, and then spring into the rest of the year. I have no doubt that there will be more pitfalls on my path, but I am determined to make my way through and out the other side, learning and loving along the way.

Day 1: I found a recipe for a homemade body scrub (which works magnificently and you should all try it https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/how-to-make-exfoliating-scrub-for-silky-smooth-legs) which is so cliche, but I had found that even showering was becoming dificult because I didn’t enjoy the boring routine of it. So doing something different to take care of my body was a small step forward.

Day 2 (today): I wrote about what’s been on my mind so that other people know what’s been on my mind/can not feel alone about what might be on their mind/just because I enjoy writing what’s on my mind and haven’t done it in a while.

[adventurousobservations]

Skinny shaming

"I wish I could have a body like yours." This is something that I've heard one time too many throughout my relatively short life. As a young teenager, I grew up hearing others make fun of people who were fat, wondering how it could be justified to judge someone based on their appearance, although I also grew used to it from being subjected to listening to others around me voice their opinions throughout secondary school, but never once thinking the situation could be turned around to me. 

I was 17 and I was talking with a group of girls. The conversation turned to talk about how it's so annoying when you try a dress on in your size but it's too small (which is so annoying). I chipped in with "Oh, that happened to me the other day- I tried to fit into a size 6 and it was just too tight!" "A size 6?? I wish I had that problem, my feet aren't even a size 6! You don't even know the struggle." I left school that day feeling a little discouraged that my attempt at empathy had been thrown aside. I am a UK size 6-8 (US 0-2), and when I look at myself I don't see myself as too fat or too skinny, just normal. When I returned home from school that day I remember looking at myself thinking "But to me this is normal." I have from that day promised to myself that I would never body shame, but always try to praise a girl on how well SHE looks for HER kind of normal. Middle age and older women often confront me about how I need to eat more or how I'm too skinny and they wished they could be that skinny, but that's not their kind of normal. 

They've popped out children, or have medical complications. They are taller, or built more broadly. They are their kind of normal. I have my issues - I have abnormally low blood pressure, I have an unhealthy relationship with food, I get achy when I don't exercise enough, exercise too much, or sleep too little. I can’t eat when I’m stressed or worried and when I start to feel full I feel physically sick. These are the "trials" my body is put through, and they are no less of a trial than those who enjoy eating a little too much, who have higher blood pressure, who sleep too pften or exercise too little, have diagnosed eating disorders or medical issues. I frequently have to force myself to eat because I know it's the right thing to do, even when I don't want to. I have to make sure I eat so that I don't pass out in random places (nearly happened several times in the past term at university, but that's another story for another time). These are the things I deal with, and although you can't physically see these issues when you look at me, they are just as real as the issues you may be able to see on someone else.

“I wish I had that problem.” Another statement I cringe at the sound of. I wouldn’t wish my problems on anyone, and I admit I have thought the same about others sometimes, coveting their trials or temptations because they seem easier. But how unfair is that? To take someone’s weakness and almost laugh at the idea that your life would be so much easier if you had their troubles, when you don’t know the struggles they have been through. Circumstances, illnesses, genetics, mistakes. These all equate to heartaches. Instead of belittling another’s hardships, we need to make efforts to love them, to sympathise where we can and to help lift their burdens.

“Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.” - Jeffrey Holland

[adventurousobservations]

“Have you sufficiently retained in remembrance the captivity of your fathers?” - Alma 5:6

Through time and across cultures, our ancestors have struggled and fought for their freedom, and at times were unsuccessful at retaining it. The scriptures, and especially the Book of Mormon, account in great detail the trials of those who were not at liberty to grant their own freedom. Our libraries are full of biographies and summations of those who have struggled to fight not only for their freedom, but for the freedom of their children. We may think of ancestors from thousands of years ago who fought for the lands we now take for granted; seemingly ordinary folk hundreds of years ago fought the captivity of the crown for freedom of speech and worship; even in decades just past who have fought for freedom for those minorities who have yet to have their voices heard because of their gender, skin colour, religious background or nationality.

Today we are still fighting, and of course we should, for the very fact that we have remembered the captivity of our fathers, and of course our mothers. This Earth has a history that has been far from perfect, but its future does not have to remain that way, ormore importantly the past does not need to repeat itself. This is why children need history and education - to see the flaws and failures of a past world so they can best know how to create a new one.

When we think of our parents, ancestors and other predecessors, we should take the time to not only learn from their mistakes and aim to change the limitations that held them captive, but appreciate the people they became and the people we are now because of their struggles. Anne Frank became a world renowned author from her writings, Marthin Luther King Jr gave others a voice by speaking up and using his own to uplift and inspire change, William Tyndale allowed for a more full freedom of worship and spiritual enlightenment with his fight to translate the Bible from Latin to English. Winston Churchill empowered nations with his unshakable leadership and refusal to back down in the face of a very real opponent. Corrie ten Boom and her family in an unwavering effort to protect suffering Jews from imprisonment were also imprisoned. The billions who have fought for their countries throghout the years. The countless innocents who died for their beliefs - religious or otherwise. The silenced minorities who still lived in hope, despite their inability to speak up.

The lessons we learn from these and all others who faced some form of captivity or tribulation are invaluable. We should forever be grateful that they never gave up. 

[adventurousobservations]

"Actions speak louder than verbs."

Verb - a word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence, and forming the main part of the predicate of a sentence. 

When we feel like we are losing control, we often try to hold onto the threads we have left with our words. When we are upset, angry or confused we try to console ourselves or others with words, rambling or ranting about the what if's or could be's, the things we wish we could change, the endless lists of things that are unfair, or the things we wish we were or could do better at. But actions speak louder than words. We spend so much time abusing the gift of speech and not enough time appreciating the gift of change and action. 

 I have been working on a list of words that are commonly used to describe emotions and feelings, but actually should be more descriptive of actions - we forget that these words are verbs. Although my list isn't too long, I have learned some valuable lessons as I've remembered these words are best portrayed through action rather than speech. 

When we say we have faith, or that we love someone, it should be more than just a simple belief or statement, it is acting in a way that reflects what we say we think and feel. 

My favourite quote about love is by Dieter Uchtdorf who states, 

"True love requires action. We can speak of love all day long. We can write notes or poems that proclaim it, sing songs that praise it and preach sermons that encourage it, but until we manifest that love in action, our words are nothing but sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal." 

Although it is nice to tell someone you love them, to sing songs of praise, or write stories of hope and happiness, the way we act from day to day shows more about who we are than what we say we think. When we turn our thoughts and words into action, we are giving our words a power that they don’t have when they’re just spoken, with no intent to follow up.

I have a plaque on my wall which reads, "Happiness is a choice." We are often asked if we are having a good day, and we often respond in a way that pins our mood on something that occurred that wasn't anywhere near in our control - the weather, the traffic, the increase of turmoil in the world, the results of an election or a football game. We forget that however these may affect us, we don't need to let them have any effect on anyone else because of our reactions. No matter the turmoils we face, we can choose to act instead of react, or to act instead of being acted upon.

“...I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and He hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon.” - 2 Nephi 2:14

When we follow up our words with action, we build up not only our trust with other people, but our own characters and self-assurance. Not only do others believe you, but you can believe yourself. The confidence of others in you will grow, and that, alongside seeing that you have the power to be the person you want to be, will give you self-confidence - something that we as humans can sometimes seriously lack. Looking at it from a religious aspect, the power we gain from acting on faith can also have this same effect. As we do the things that Heavenly Father expects of us, and follow the example of Jesus Christ, we begin to see that we do not have to be limited to who we currently are, but that we have an infinite capacity to grow and learn and become the people that we want to become, and the God knows that we can become.

“Character is the sum and total of a person’s choices.” - P. B. Fitzwater

There is something remarkable about a person who lives through theiractions rather than their words - who seeks to prove their faith, love, hope, happiness and gratitude through their daily living. This is the person who has a mountain of doubts and worries to consider, but gets up each morning and lives life anyway. This is the person that despite their hardships, still finds the time to have a grateful heart and a smiling face. The same person that is fully aware of what others think or say about them, but is too busy building u their own character to consider letting someone else tear their’s down. They don’t just speak about what they would like to see changed in this world, but also actively seek to bring about this change. They love without measure, hope without fear, have the faith to accomplish miracles and the gratitude to live like there is no tomorrow.

Our character is not something we are born with, it is something we build and become. It will not fall into place unless hard work, diligence and dedication are involved. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation - a reputation is the result of your concern for what others think of you, whereas your character is the result of your concern for what you think of you.

[adventurousobservations]

“Just get over it.”

You know that big long list of sentences that are just easier said than done? “I’m going to go to bed earlier.” “I’m going to exercise more often!” “I’m going to cure cancer.” (That last one is a low-key dream of mine). But my least favourite out of this very long list is the dreaded “Just get over it.”

Sometimes this suggestion is meant in the most kindest and heartfelt way, when a loved one is struggling to move past something, whether minor or major, that is causing them some distress. But we often forget that this can be quite a difficult journey for some people. I still can’t get over the fact that the multiple celebrities I find extremely attractive will never date me. My sister can’t get over the reality that eating a tub of ice cream every day is not good for her. All jokes aside, we each have our hands clutching onto a box. This box contains our successes, our chances for happiness, our crushed dreams, our secret ambitions, an account of happier days, an archive of achievements and lessons learned. Someone tells you to drop this box in a fire. What do you do? You clutch onto it tighter. Why?

A year ago, I returned home from serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (This was the day I got home. It looks like I already had it all together, but I was suffering hardcore from jet lag and from understanding that it was okay for me to do things without a companion by my side. That was also my sister’s iPod and I’m pretty sure I was using her hotspot to email the other missionaries I’d left behind.) Those 18 months were some of the best of my life, containing countless adventures, lessons learned, goals achieved and memories created. I cultivated precious friendships and felt pure happiness. On my return home, I struggled with the thought that I had left all of this behind, whilst trying to build a life here that I could love as much as the life I had built in Colorado. I talked with family and friends, and - although not always worded the same way - the phrase “You need to get over it.” always seemed to make an appearance. But how do I do that? And how can you look me in the eyes and tell me to take that box filled with all of my achievements, all of my growth, all of those wonderful friends and memories and tell me to throw it in the fire, to be done with it and move on?

It took me a long time, a lot of grieving, a lot of praying, a lot of mistakes and a lot of learning to realise: that’s not what is supposed to happen. You are not supposed to forget those memories, successes or heartaches. You are not supposed to have one part of your existence that is great and then, when put into another situation, spend your time comparing it to the previous and worrying why it’s not the same, or even better like some people have told me it is. Your experiences and adventures are all part of you. That one part of your life that you love so much still exists in you. It is still part of you and you don’t have to let it go. You can sit around pretending or wishing you were still there if you please, but why do that when you can build all of that growth into something so much more magical?

I am not saying that I have now got it all together, that I am perfectly happy here and that I have my perfect life. I still have days where all I want to do is be back in Denver, sharing the things I love, helping others and putting everyone else before myself. But on these down days, I have to remind myself that I can still do those things here, that I can use that experience to help me be a better me in England. I have the privilege of gaining an education, of travelling to distant and not so distant destinations, and of having a wonderful group of young women to work with that make me laugh so much - and in all of these areas I can use the things I learned as a missionary to be a better me. Also, I’m allowed to listen to whatever music I want and hold babies now, so coming home definitely has it’s perks.

So in this year that I have been up and down a ridiculously long roller coaster ride, I have learnt this: It is okay not to let go, as long as you let what you’re holding on to be the foundations for making a better you.

[adventurousobservations]

Don’t listen to strangers.

About a year ago, I was having a bad day. If you have ever seen the episode of New Girl where Jess stands on the desk and shouts to her students, "I've had a bad day!" - that was how I felt. 

 I was in America, serving as a missionary. But that didn't stop me from having a pity party when things didn't go my way, and I decided to be offended. My companion, in an attempt to make me feel better, asked where we could go for lunch? Where did I want to go? What would I like? My response came out, "I just really want a burger, but then I'll be sad and fat!" 

Today I came home from work feeling disheartened and demotivated. I had been told by two people that I was stupid, whilst others dropped snide comments and disapproving expressions (namely eye-rolls and pursed lips). It seemed no one could be pleased today. I arrived home and sat on my bed. The memory of my words "but then I'll be sad and fat" came into my head and I immediately got changed and went for a run. I laughed at the way I expressed myself a year ago, but I also laughed at the way I had been so discouraged by what people had said to me - people who have never even seen or heard of me before they interacted with me that day. 

Sometimes people will tell us we are stupid, they'll tell us that we are worth nothing, that we're not important or not good enough. But what good does moping at home in bed with a tub of ice cream do? (Some days, it does wonders, I won’t lie.) How much more satisfying it is when you can prove them wrong. They may never see your efforts, but that's okay, because God will. He is always there and He will always love you. George Q Cannon once said, "No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]. … He will [always] stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them."

How better it is for us to overcome these moments of discouragement and self pity by stretching to accomplish goals and reach aspirations. You are more important, more clever, more beautiful and more powerful than you could ever imagine. Don’t let a stranger define who you are and crush your day. #behappy

[adventurousobservations]

Dolluh dolluh

I've had several jobs during my short time as an adult, but at none have I thought so much about money, until now. I work at a fast food restaurant, you've probably heard of it. All I'll say about it is - I'm not lovin' it. But over the course of each shift it is not unusual for hundreds, maybe even thousands of pounds to go through my hands, in and out of the till. Today this had me thinking - why do we love money so much? Paper and metal with pictures of inspirational and governmental figures, perhaps maybe a thought provoking quote. This stuff sparks momentary pleasure, but it also sparks anger, depression, anxiety. Money has become such a big part of our culture that we sometimes get it confused with the things that really matter, the things that don't cost anything.

I was in Greece. There was sunshine, sand and plenty of ice cream. And cats. I was there with my friends and my sister. Although I was in a beautiful part of the world, I had a nagging stresser following me around that week. Out of a series of different events, I was the person with the least money in our party. Now I’m not saying the fact that I had the least money was the stresser on it’s own, but instead that when the group wanted to do something I had to speak up - “You can, but I can’t afford it.” “I’d love to but I’m nearly out of money.” I have amazingly beautiful and loving friends and sister, and so when this occurred they willingly offered to pay for me. This was the cause of my stress. “No, I can’t let you. That’s not fair to you. That’s your money! I feel bad” I will never forget the moment when we were in a shop and I commented on something I thought was nice “If you like it, Beck, I’ll buy it for you!” “No no, I don’t want you to waste your money on me.” The next sentence nearly knocked me off my feet.

“Money comes and goes. I won’t always have money, but our friendship will last forever.”

How true is this? Material items are a part of life, but they are not and should not be our life. Sure, it would’ve been ideal if I had more money and I could pay for myself when I holiday with my friends. But maybe next time I’ll be the one with the most money (lol). Would I say to my poorer friend “You should have saved up more for this! I’m not paying for you. I won’t waste my money on you.” or would I show the mercy that was shown to me. “Hey don’t worry, pal, I got this.” Money is just money. It is not pertinent to our salvation, but the way we treat others is.

And now, for your entertainment, here is a trick that you can do if you ever can set your hands on some British Pounds.

[adventurousobservations]

Becky Biggs - An Introduction

I am short, I am English, I am dark blonde, I am blue-eyed, I am a Christian, I am adventurous, I am cautious, I am competitive, I am compassionate, I am emotional, I am carefree, I am thoughtful, I am me.

One thing that I have learned in this life, is that we are all very complex. We are not defined by just one word, not defined by just one trait. We are a complex doodle of countless characteristics, multiple memories, thousands of thoughts and beautifully brought together to form an individual. We can be a naturally calm person that worries a lot (yes, that is me). We can be a control freak that just wants to be spontaneous (yes, that is also me, sometimes). Humans are very complex. The things we know are always changing, always developing. We are always learning. Maybe that’s my favourite thing about the human race.

So to introduce me, and to introduce this “blog”, this will be a place of ramblings about such lessons and learning experiences, about my observations of the way people behave, and about the way God interacts with each of us in our daily lives. I do not claim to be a professional writer, but I do claim to have a mind that thinks and fingers which tap on keys, and I would love for you to read my ramblings. Not because they’re better than your other friend that writes a blog, but because I want to share what I learn with the world, and perhaps inspire a spark in you, somehow, with these letters that I configure into blog posts.

My life seems to be a jumbled up mess of adventures, emotions and lessons learned. But who’s life isn’t? I am only 21, still inexperienced and still learning (and re-learning) the lessons life and God have taught me. I sometimes pretend that I know everything, often to be reminded that I don’t. A friend of mine once told me “Only talk about the good stories... But I guess, in the end, all stories are good, right?” And who doesn’t love a good story? 

This is me, telling stories.