aeviterncl

[aeviterncl]

While things had gotten awkward for a while, things were now relatively back to normal. Or at least they were for him. Shi was reading a novel as he savored the last bit of the chai latte he ordered earlier, waiting for Ansel to wrap up his shift. Of course, when his friend came over to greet him, Shi's attention moved from the book to the blond, the redhead shutting the book closed and leaving it on the table. Without missing a beat, the redhead reached out to tug onto the other's arm, pulling him to sit close beside him on the booth seat. Shoulders touching and sides basically pressed together, Shi casually spoke, clearly unbothered by how close they were, ❝ Sit here, I have something for you. ❞ On his other side was his bag. It was certainly late for the holiday in question, and while he certainly hadn't received anything, it didn't mean he couldn't give something back. Pulling out a small bag of chocolates from his bag, he leaned in closer as he handed them to his friend, ❝ happy belated White Day, Ansel. ❞ [@aeviterncl]

@aeviterncl / unprompted.

Ansel was in his office at the end of his shift, pulling his apron off and folding it so he could put it nicely in his desk drawer. He honestly should stay and keep working, knowing his staff was expecting a schedule to come up for the next coming weeks soon, but his eyes were blurring and he didn't think it'd be productive to keep pushing himself. Better to take care of it tomorrow and send an apology in the mass email he'd have to send out tomorrow anyways. Anyone that worked with him knew that Ansel pushed himself no matter what he was doing, and saying he was dog tired at the end of most of his shifts was an understatement. No one would bat an eye for something having to get done a day late.

He spotted Shi the second he walked back out into the open cafe, surprise sketched on his face as he made his way over to the redhead's booth. Ansel was surprised he'd stuck around, but was happy to see him nonetheless. He still felt a little weird about everything that had happened, but it wasn't enough to keep him away for Shi.

Before he'd even managed to get a word out, Shi set his book down and pulled him into the booth, on the same side as him. Ansel could feel his cheeks heat up as he let out a noise in surprise, but didn't move. As long as Shi didn't mind how close they were, Ansel would simply try to enjoy the closeness while he had it.

He silently nodded at Shi's words, wondering if the other male thought he'd get up and go somewhere. As if. Eyes widened when Shi turned back to him and somehow invaded his face further, not that Ansel actually had a problem with it. Though, it was a lot at the moment, he'd still probably try to pull Shi back if he tried to move away from him now. A small bag of chocolates was handed to him, Ansel's brown eyes darting up to meet Shi's in question as he spoke. White day? He'd heard of it, but it wasn't something he'd ever thought to participate in. He swallowed, opening the bag with fingers that trembled slightly even though he did his best to keep them still. He brought one of the candies to his mouth, smiling at his friend when he finished it.

"This was so kind of you. Thank you for thinking of me."

Ansel needed to remind himself that Shi was doing this as a friend. Friend. Though, he did make a mental note to make his calendar for the holiday next year so he was more prepared.

[aeviterncl]

❝ i don't usually talk this much, it just feels easy to say stuff when you're listening. ❞ (Ellie to Xander)

MEME┊accepting.

Hanging out with Ellie had become quite common now. In fact, it had become frequent enough to be with her that they had exchanged phone numbers. Today, they had arranged to grab some ice cream together at the local ice cream shop after lunch hour. With the heat the way it had been these days, hanging out while having something cold to mitigate it was more appealing than hunkering down and drinking room temperature water whenever they felt too hot (especially when he desperately needed something to eat after donating blood). Sometimes, he wished he could wear the lighter colors in his closet that absorbed less heat, but he did have an image to maintain. It'd be weird to show up wearing pastel colors all of a sudden.

Savoring the taste of his mango ice cream, Xander flinched at how cold it still felt on his tongue, bringing a hand to his mouth to somehow soothe the chill. As he took a moment to recompose himself, the boy heard Ellie express her feelings.

❝ You're welcome, ❞ the redhead replied automatically. But he didn't think he did anything that special. So what if he could pick up her voice better than most people? Surely other people were capable of doing the same. Colorless irises flickering down to his half eaten ice cream, Xander decided to keep those negative feelings to himself. It would only ruin the mood if he said it. Not to mention, Ellie didn't even know about his issue that made him more attentive to sound in the first place.

After a pause, he began speaking again, ❝ It's the least I can do. It's tough when people don't listen. ❞ He knew that well. He knew that any objection to all the procedures and donations would fall on deaf ears—not that he could bring himself to be the cause of his brother's demise if he refused to comply. And he didn't want to rob Kellan of the chance to chase his dreams too.

Pushing those thoughts away, the redhead gulped down another spoonful of his ice cream. The mango flavor was sweet and strong and very much appealing to his taste buds. While he knew Ellie was only expressing thanks, Xander couldn't help but feel there was something else she wanted to say—that this was a precursor to a vent—so he decided to ask, ❝ Is there something else you wanted to tell me? It... sounds like there is, but I could be mistaken. ❞ Or maybe he was projecting that feeling of his onto her.

[aeviterncl]

At Lorenzo's comment, Xander waited. As he waited, he pulled his feet out from his sneakers and took the pair of shoes to set them aside by the small shoe cabinet the rest of the shoes seemed to be gathered at. Gratefully taking the pair of slippers he was allowed to borrow, the redhead slipped his feet into them, ❝ Thanks. ❞ Even though they weren't his, the sizing was a tad large—though that was probably because his feet were oddly narrow compared to the average person.

As they walked down the hall to get to the study room, Xander's gaze kept moving side to side to get a glimpse of each picture and painting on the walls on either side of them. They went by them too fast to really appreciate them, but based on the number of frames and photos in them, this family had definitely well documented the years and events of their lives. It certainly was much different than how his family documented the years. His family didn't have photos on the wall, rather, they gathered the photos into albums that were now collecting dust on the shelves (since reliving the memories would be too painful for all of them—knowing how far Kellan had declined since those photos were captured).

When the two arrived at the study room, Xander casually found a spot to sit at the table. He didn't make a big deal of the outlandishness of having so many rooms for single, dedicated purposes like this—after all, if they had the space to do it, why judge? Besides, he was here to study.

Setting down his bag and taking out his notebook and assistive tools, the redhead laid the items onto the desktop, ready to begin hitting the books, ❝ What subject should we start with? ❞ he asked.

"Here. Give me a moment. Gonna get the slippers." They weren't that far away, they were on a small piece of furniture a couple of steps away, but he wanted to be hospitable with his visit.

He took off his shoes right there and, in his socks, went to grab the famous slippers, putting on his father's. His dad wasn't going to need them now.

"Here, use mine. I think we're a similar size," if his visual assessment was correct.

"From here, we'll cross the hall to the end and then enter the room on the right. It's my study." He had a study, it was different from his bedroom. Luxuries that rich people could afford.

What Lorenzo hadn't told Xander was that there were tons of framed photos in the hallway: of their family, of their childhood, of his mother's golden years as a model; too many. But he didn't have time to explain each one, since the goal was to reinforce Xander's knowledge.

[aeviterncl]

My muse absentmindedly plays with your muse’s fingers while they talk, not even realizing they’re doing it. -Ansel to Shi

MEME ┊accepting.

After all the time they spent together and showing each other different sides of themselves, it was a wonder how a casual conversation could somehow feel so awkwardly paced. The redhead wasn't one to pry about things if not necessary, but the air was different today. Maybe it was a bad day at work or maybe it was something going on at home—Shi couldn't know unless he asked—but it was clear as day that Ansel was not acting the way he normally did while they talked over a cup of whatever beverage after Ansel clocked out for a short break on his shift.

Was Ansel nervous right now? That was the loudest thought in Shi's mind as the blond kept talking to him. He doubted his friend noticed himself doing it, but the way Ansel had his fingers wrapped around the tip of his index finger and was shakily running them along the top of his finger was not something he could fully ignore. Maybe this was a result of Shi offering his hands on multiple occasions to help his friend calm down. Of course, the witch didn't mind it—it was hardly a nuisance—but he wondered what about this casual conversation was making his friend feel so anxious that he needed the security that came with interacting with his hand.

Despite the curiosity, there was no way for them to unpack it in the span of ten to fifteen minutes.

So, Shi wordlessly provided the support he wanted to give, using his remaining, undisturbed fingers to tap against Ansel's knuckles. He gently applied pressure to ease the shakiness of them, hoping to get across the sentiment of being there to lean on if Ansel wanted his support.

Making sure to not make direct eye contact (as he knew it would only make the anxiety worse), he shifted his gaze to their almost intertwined hands resting lazily at the middle of the table, ❝ I'm right here, ❞ he said calmly in an attempt to soothe Ansel without prompting him to share what was on his mind. He didn't need to share a word if he didn't want to.

[aeviterncl]

[ TRACING ] receiver brushes their fingers along sender's forehead, temple and cheekbone -Gracie for Zerah

MEME ┊accepting.

Even though it hadn't been long at all, Zerah still missed the feeling of his girlfriend in his arms. While he had no idea nor desire to control her movements during the day, the necromancer found himself worrying about her all the same. It was one thing if she was a regular, living girl, but a walking corpse was a whole different story. Would she be fine out and about during the day? What if the person who revived her came knocking on their door? Did she even have a place to be if his apartment wasn't available? Should he... get her a spare key? No, that was too early for their stage of relationship—unless her safety was a genuine concern.

Upon arriving home from work, he threw his keys onto the counter and his cardigan onto the loveseat sofa, completely wiped from the day. Zerah was about ready to call it a night. His shift at his aunt's job really was him doing nothing but cleaning and reorganizing shelves most of the time. He even spent time scribbling notes and stories in a journal he began carrying, trying to put some stock into a possible writing career.

Yet somehow that mundane nothingness was so exhausting. His brain was already ready to shut down and sleep to hopefully feel better in the morning. Flopping onto the sofa, the boy kicked off his shoes and sighed loudly, crushing a pillow within his arms almost out of frustration. Why did it feel like he was wasting his life away?

But then the doorbell rang. That was different.

Trudging back to the door, Zerah slowly opened the door, and there was his lovely girlfriend standing there. Honestly, he was baffled. She normally knocked, so it took him a second to put two and two together. When he did connect the dots, relief flooded him. But as much as he always loved to see her, he didn't have the means to be an energetic host tonight. Though, that didn't mean he wouldn't be welcoming at all.

With an oddly gentle smile and a tired look in his eyes, the witch reached out to catch a flower that threatened to annoy her skin from the odd placement in her hair, pressing his fingers against her forehead a bit. He then slowly dragged them towards her temple and down her cheek as he carefully guided the flower out of her dry and brittle hair, grazing her flesh as he did so. His hand stopped at her cheek—his palm and fingers curling to cup the shape of her face instead.

❝ Welcome home, ❞ he murmured in greeting, almost testing the phrase to see if it felt right. After all, he fully intended to stay with her forever. It was only right to test the waters now.

[aeviterncl]

feel like taking a walk? the weather's nice. -Ellie to Xander, probably testing to see if he hears her or not honestly

MEME┊accepting.

Finals were a hectic time of the year. After studying pretty hard with a friend of his, here he was was still trying to cram in some more. There simply wasn't enough hours in the day to get through everything, but at least he only had one final exam left to take. He was currently in the library, gathering the last of his belongings and tucking them into his backpack when the girl sitting across from him made the inquiry.

As nice as the invitation was, it was boiling outside—at least in his perspective it would be. Xander was someone who wouldn't step outside without full sleeves and long pants, and in this heat, even a very light and breezy type of fabric would be killer. On top of possible heat stroke, he was also likely to get sunburned to a terrible degree if he went out in this heat. Just the thought of it made him shrink in his chair. And he didn't bring extra sunscreen.

However, he couldn't bring himself to say 'no'. He couldn't avoid going outside anyway. Going outside was required to get back to his dorm and pack his things for the break too.

❝ I suppose we can, ❞ he replied hesitantly, zipping up his bag and getting up from his seat. It wasn't that he didn't like taking walks with anyone. It was more like he wasn't looking forward to dealing with the effects of the blazing sun outside. Xander didn't want to turn Ellie down (he rather liked being able to hang out with her after all). He'd feel bad if he did, especially since she didn't shy away from him like other people did, ❝ we can't stay in the library all day anyhow. ❞

Glancing towards the water bottle he kept snug in the dedicated slot on the side of his bag, Xander pulled it out of the socket. From the weight he realized he needed to refill it. Darting his gaze back to the small girl and pushing in his chair, he made a request for a detour, ❝ But I would like to refill my water bottle first before we head out. ❞

[aeviterncl]

“i’ll hold your hand.” [Shi/Ansel, I feel like this would be a Shi calming Ansel down from an anxiety spike kind of moment but feel free to write whatever comes to mind; @aeviterncl]

@aeviterncl / prompted.

Ansel's eyes widened as the angry customer in front of him continued to yell, freezing up as he tried to make himself move. To do anything. The bell above the door rang, eyes darting away from the upset stranger quickly to look at Shi as he walked into the cafe. Eyes only locked on the others for a moment before the customer in front of him called him out for not paying attention.

Sir, with all due respect, I haven't heard a word you said since you started to yell.

Ansel paused, debating on what he could do just to get this guy out of his face and offered to have his order remade for him free of charge. He didn't think he really deserved it, but he wasn't sure how long he could stand getting yelled at before he actually reacted, and Ansel was a little worried about just how that reaction would come out.

He finally let himself breathe once one of the kitchen staff started to remake their food, turning to find Shi. The other male was closer than he thought he would be, seemingly working his way towards Ansel since he'd first walked into the cafe.

“I’ll hold your hand.”

The blond let out the breath of hair he'd been holding, gratefully reaching out for Shi's hand as he made his way around back and into the breakroom. Shi technically wasn't supposed to be back here, but there wasn't anyone here above him that could get him in trouble, and he needed to take a minute before going back out there. "Thank you."

[aeviterncl]

It had been a long time since Zerah had found his rightful place with Gracie by his side. Everything had felt right since they became an item. He felt more free and relaxed, at ease. Though he did have moments where he really wanted to do more than just cuddle snuggly at night, he wouldn’t push Gracie to do what she wasn’t ready for. But lately, he felt the need to talk. They needed to talk about the past a little bit. So he opened up the conversation once she had sat on his lap as he asked her to and he loosely wrapped his arms around her waist, “Hey, can we talk about things? I wanted to tell you about how I grew up. I want to tell you about anything you want to know about me.” He was tempted to slide his fingers under her top but kept himself in control by playing with a lock of hair he could twirl around his finger, “and you’re free to ask me anything about it right now.” [@aeviterncl]

@aeviterncl / unprompted.

Gracie had taken to hanging out at Zerah's place with him often, not wanting to leave the witch's side anymore than necessary. Which might seem a little bit obsessive, but it'd been so long since Gracie had someone around who genuinely cared about her, it was hard to pull back and come back to reality sometimes. To be fair, Gracie wasn't sure she'd ever really had anyone around that truly cared about her when she was alive. Though, she supposed it was only fair for her to talk to Zerah about her past if he was starting a conversation on his own. She didn't really want to talk about things that happened in her human life, but she wanted to learn every last thing possible about Zerah. If that meant being open with him about all her shit, then she would. A smile graced her face as his arms wrapped around her, debating on what to ask him first about his past. She honestly wanted to ask him to tell her everything, but wanted to come up with specific questions so he knew she was actually interested. She knew it probably wasn't necessary when it came to Zerah, but it was a learned practice. One of her hands reached up to cup his cheek, feeling his warm radiating off of every part of his body that was touching hers. "Why don't you start with where you're from? What was it like growing up there?" He could honestly talk about anything he wanted and she'd listen.

"If you want to hear about it, I'll share about my past, too. It's not the nicest story you'll ever hear, but you should hear it all the way through at least once, I guess." She wanted to hear about him first, though, leaning up to press a kiss into his nose. "You first, though." A teasing smile on her face.

[aeviterncl]

A LIST OF CASUAL YET INTIMATE INTERACTIONS

sender to receiver:

[ HOOK ] sender hooking a finger beneath receiver's jaw

[ PINCH ] sender holding receiver's chin between their thumb and forefinger

[ LOOK ] sender holding receiver's jaw and turning their head to look at them

[ PICK ] sender telling receiver to "hold still" while they remove something from their hair

[ GRAZE ] sender brushes their fingertip back and forth along receiver's jaw while they listen to receiver talk

[ DIRECT ] sender seeing that receiver is going the wrong way, takes hold of their shoulders from behind and turns them the right direction

[ BACK ] sender grabs receiver's wrist and tugs them closer when receiver tries to walk away.

[ TOY ] sender fidgets with something receiver is wearing while receiver talks to them

[ STROKE ] sender absentmindedly plays with receiver's hair while they're focused on another task

[ DEPART ] sender is saying goodbye and kisses receiver's forehead

[ DRESS ] sender without prompting helps receiver put on a jacket

[ UNDRESS ] sender helps receiver remove an article of clothing or jewelry

[ REFILL ] sender refills receiver's drink before they can ask or do it themselves

[ FIX ] sender cleans something off of receiver's face

[ RUB ] sender places their hand around the back of receiver's neck, rubbing their thumb just under their ear

[ PULL ] sender sits next to receiver and places their arm around their shoulders, gently pulling them into their side

[ BECKON ] sender sees receiver and lifts their arm up so they can come hug/cuddle them

[ GLIDE ] sender is gently rubbing/scratching receivers back and rubs their knuckle down their spine to the small of their back

[ CHEER ] seeing that receiver is scowling, sender rubs their thumb over the furrow between receiver's brows

[ TUCK ] sender finds receiver asleep somewhere and puts a blanket or their own coat over them

[ TRACE ] sender brushes their fingers along receiver's forehead, temple and cheekbone

[ BRUSH ] sender brushes their hand up and down receiver's arm as they walk past them

[ KEEP ] sender holds receiver's arm just above the elbow while they're talking or to get their attention

[ LEAN ] sender looks over receiver's shoulder who is sitting, placing a hand on their desk while receiver shows them something

[ NUDGE ] sender grabs the chair receiver is sitting in and pulls it closer

[ LISTEN ] sender is listening to receiver talk and picks up an object that belongs to receiver to fidget with

[ SEARCH ] sender searches out receiver's gaze in a crowded room either for approval or to check if they're okay

[ SMOOTH ] sender smooths their thumb over receiver's eyebrow

[ SLIP ] sender places their hand in receiver's back pocket while they walk together

receiver to sender:

[ HOOKING ] receiver hooking a finger beneath sender's jaw

[ PINCHING ] receiver holding sender's chin between their thumb and forefinger

[ LOOKING ] receiver holding sender's jaw and turning their head to look at them

[ PICKING ] receiver telling sender to "hold still" while they remove something from their hair

[ GRAZING ] receiver brushes their fingertip back and forth along sender's jaw while they listen to sender talk

[ DIRECTING ] receiver seeing that sender is going the wrong way, takes hold of their shoulders from behind and turns them the right direction

[ BACKING ] receiver grabs sender's wrist and tugs them closer when sender tries to walk away.

[ TOYING ] receiver fidgets with something sender is wearing while sender talks to them

[ STROKING ] receiver absentmindedly plays with sender's hair while they're focused on another task

[ DEPARTING ] receiver is saying goodbye and kisses sender's forehead

[ DRESSING ] receiver without prompting helps sender put on a jacket

[ UNDRESSING ] receiver helps sender remove an article of clothing or jewelry

[ REFILLING ] receiver refills sender's drink before they can ask or do it themselves

[ FIXING ] receiver cleans something off of senders face

[ RUBBING ] receiver places their hand around the back of receiver's neck, rubbing their thumb just under their ear

[ PULLING ] receiver sits next to sender and places their arm around their shoulders, gently pulling them into their side

[ BECKONING ] receiver sees sender and lifts their arm up so they can come hug/cuddle them

[ GLIDING ] receiver is gently rubbing/scratching sender's back and rubs their knuckle down their spine to the small of their back

[ CHEERING ] seeing that sender is scowling, receiver rubs their thumb over the furrow between sender's brows

[ TUCKING ] receiver finds sender asleep somewhere and puts a blanket or their own coat over them

[ TRACING ] receiver brushes their fingers along sender's forehead, temple and cheekbone

[ BRUSHING ] receiver brushes their hand up and down sender's arm as they walk past them

[ KEEPING ] receiver holds sender's arm just above the elbow while they're talking or to get their attention

[ LEANING ] receiver looks over sender's shoulder who is sitting, placing a hand on their desk while sender shows them something

[ NUDGING ] receiver grabs the chair sender is sitting in and pulls it closer

[ LISTENING ] receiver is listening to sender talk and picks up an object that belongs to sender to fidget with

[ SEARCHING ] receiver seeks out sender's gaze in a crowded room either for approval or to check that they're okay

[ SMOOTHING ] receiver smooths their thumb over sender's eyebrow

[ SLIPPING ] receiver places their hand in sender's back pocket while they're walking

[aeviterncl]

Lucky streak? Seriously? They weren't kids who needed parental guidance. Even if they still were (or at least he was) still students, that didn't mean they weren't adults at this point. Hearing the reason why the parents weren't around though—wow. Traveling to another country. Xander had never been overseas before; he hadn't gone much of anywhere before really. His family's money was always money spent on his brother's hospital stay or other life necessities that made it nigh impossible to do something fun (and what was the point of having fun if Kellan couldn't join them?).

From the size of this house, it was obvious that extra hands would be needed to help clean it, so the comment on having someone come over to help with that wasn't strange to hear at all. Though when Lorenzo pointed towards a spot in the distance, the redhead did his best to follow it, only to know that it was hopeless when everything in the distance was a mess of indistinct colors with too much light surrounding each one.

❝ Maybe next time we could go there, ❞ Xander suggested mundanely. It wasn't like he really expected to actually go to said hotel since this house was obviously much closer to campus, but he didn't want to refuse and be rude for it. It wasn't like he had much of a reason to go to a hotel unless Lorenzo specifically wanted to take him there. It might be nice to see all the fish though. He'd never really seen a lot of them in a single place before.

When Lorenzo finally opened the door, Xander stepped inside. He debated on taking off his shoes at the door. Normally, he would since his dorm had more of a rug, carpet-like floor. But clearly the flooring in this house was less prone to picking up dirt unexpectedly with the fine and intricate tiles. Looking to his friend, he hoped to get some direction for it, ❝ Er, do I take my shoes off here or somewhere else? ❞

"You're on a lucky streak. I'm home alone. My parents are in another country, which happens often. Dad says I'm grown up now, I can take care of myself, and he can spend time with my mamma alone." He rolled his eyes as if he could hear his father's voice saying this very thing right now.

"But, deep down, they don't put it into practice because they have the lady who comes to clean the house, the gardener, my cousin, and my aunt all keeping an eye on me and informing them of what I'm doing." added to the context.

"So don't worry about it. There are no rules." That was a relief in a way. "You know why we live here? You can see that huge building from here." he pointed, though he wasn't sure if Xander would be able to see it from this distance. "It's one of my family's hotels. That's my dad's favorite branch. It was mine, too. Maybe one day I'll take you to see it, especially the dining room/restaurant. My dad designed it especially for me. It's also an aquarium; I wanted to see fish while we ate. Kid stuff." From the way Lorenzo spoke about his father, it was clear that there were certain unresolved grudges, but at the same time they also had a very deep bond.

He told him all this while searching for the front door key in his coat pocket. When he found it, he opened the door and invited him in. As expected, everything was spacious, beautiful, and expensive-looking.

[aeviterncl]

The drive didn't take nearly as long as he thought it would. It might have been because he was used to taking public transport or walking places, but the trip directly to Lorenzo's place was certainly fast. As they drove into the upscale part of the neighborhood, Xander's eyes were practically glued to the window, in awe of the grand houses that lined the streets on both sides. Lorenzo lived in this area?! He didn't expect someone working as a teacher's assistant to live in the wealthy part of town.

When the car pulled into the driveway of the majestically large blue home, Xander was completely baffled. Wasn't this the most grand house on the block? He almost felt himself go pale from the weight of suddenly having to amend his lack of respect. Wealthy houses usually belonged to rich families and rich families often had power and authority. Well, Lorenzo probably didn't mind but his family probably minded manners.

And did he just mention his family owned both houses?!

Sliding out of the passenger side of the car with his backpack hefted over his shoulder, the redhead couldn't help but stare at the intimidating buildings. With a curt glance to Lorenzo, he fell into step beside him as they walked up to the front door, ❝ Are there any special rules I got to follow while I'm here? ❞ he asked casually, ❝ I know people from well off families tend to have different expectations. ❞

Of course, he wasn't trying to throw shade on the disparity between their family incomes, but rather trying to be more considerate of the differences in expectations. He didn't want to leave a bad first impression on Lorenzo's family. They might never let him back here or even hang out with him ever again (and he didn't want that).

Lorenzo took the fast track across the highway. Since his car was automatic, he didn't have to shift gears; he just had to worry about driving or slowing down when necessary.

Thanks to the fast track, they were arriving in less than fifteen minutes. It was the upper part of the city where all the wealthy people had their properties, and the Renieri were no exception. All the lots had very green grass and their trees were pruned, it was beautiful to see. "We're almost there," he said, slowing down until he reached a gate that protected two houses. The gate opened automatically because it recognized the car's license plate; that's how it worked.

"The one on the left is my house, the biggest and blue one. The one on the right belongs to my uncle and cousin" and that one was painted pastel green. They all lived together but not mixed, kinda.

Ah, la famiglia.

He finally parked and was able to remove the car key, as well as undo his seatbelt and everything else that entailed. "Let's go."

[aeviterncl]

God, this was not good for his heart. This casual banter was somehow making him more nervous—like he'd say something wrong and immediately ruin the mood as he usually did. Just how awful was he at friendships that he was already expecting to mess it up right after finally releasing some tension by means of not holding back his emotions? Well, it wasn't like he really had friends before. No wonder he was so clueless right now.

Was it okay to think that Lorenzo kind of cared about his opinion based on what he said? Maybe that was too bold of him to think.

With a click of his tongue, Xander moved his head away from the window and turned back to Lorenzo. His cheeks were still red, but he couldn't help but express his discontent by narrowing his eyes, ❝ Tch, if you weren't driving right now, I'd flick you. ❞ He couldn't risk Lorenzo getting into an accident because of something he did. Plus, driving needed full attention and he didn't want to distract him.

Thankfully, the music was softly playing now, and it gave Xander a decent excuse to go quiet. Tuning his listening into the music, he began thinking about the choice of tunes, wondering if this is what Lorenzo preferred listening to on the regular. Shifting in his seat to get more comfortable, Xander did his best to relax for the rest of the ride. It probably wouldn't take long to get to Lorenzo's place and he better shift his focus to actually studying.

"People can get the wrong idea? And why should I care about that shit? Let them think what they want, I only care about the opinions of those who are valuable to me. Everything else is rubbish." his opinion on the matter was harsh, he really didn't care about other people.

He knew well what others thought of him: Lorenzo Renieri was an elitist, bad-tempered, smart but jerk, a completely nasty boy. There was some truth to that, too, and he enjoyed his own reputation, or bad reputation in that case. People thought they knew him, and it was fun to crush those preconceived notions- Or confirm them.

"Ah, I said 'shit.' Sorry, Mom." He joked about the moment and also with Xander, calling him mom. Thank goodness he didn't call his real mother that or she would be very offended by the comparison.

He turned on the car radio to his preferred station, setting the volume so the music provided background noise but didn't interfere with the conversation. And when he was satisfied with all of that, he started driving towards his home.

[aeviterncl]

Was he mad? Yes. But did he want to admit that out loud? No. He sort of felt guilty for plausibly blowing this out of proportion already, that maybe he was wrong for getting angry about something he really didn't have a choice in (what was the point in getting upset if the outcome would never change?). The last time he had been visibly angry like this was probably years ago when he felt so, so tired of missing out on life to donate whatever next thing to his brother.

Glancing over at Lorenzo sitting in the driver's seat, the redhead noticed the vague shape of a hand over his mouth. Was he... stifling laughter? Was it that funny to see him like this? Well, at least this reaction was better than a moment of silence and a follow up of unintentional guilt-tripping. If anything, Lorenzo's reaction somehow made him feel a tad nervous—embarrassed even—but not the kind of nervous accompanied by fear of backlash. What was wrong with him right now?

To somehow quell the nerves he was feeling, Xander leaned against the passenger window and shifted his gaze to look outside. He should probably avoid looking and trying to imagine the expression Lorenzo was hiding (there was no reason to wonder if he was smiling while holding back laughter). Ears perked and turned towards his friend to better capture his voice when he spoke again, the boy gave more of his attention back to him.

❝ That's some shoddy behavior, ❞ he commented lowly, feeling genuinely irked by the story of that supposed best friend (what kind of friend did that?). As easy as Lorenzo found it to calm down and release an emotion, Xander was almost the opposite. His emotions lingered and it took him longer to fully let go. Hopefully, it wouldn't be taken as offensive this time. Though, why did he feel bothered by the reality of not being as highly ranked on the ladder? ❝ but it's a good thing you made— ❞

Xander was just about to finish his reply only to be caught off guard by a sentence he really shouldn't be fixing on—his heart rate surging as red flushed onto his cheeks. What did it mean to say he liked that about him?! Words caught on his tongue, the redhead grasped onto the folds of his light jacket in an attempt to somehow suppress all the sensations and panic that hit him like a train out of nowhere. That stupid comment was going to occupy his brain all week at this rate!

❝ And watch your language! People can get the wrong idea! ❞ he exclaimed, the internal panic he was feeling heavily evident in the inflection of his voice. Well, it wasn't like Lorenzo didn't know he had to be mindful with his words at times. He had already brought it up before (and he was sure others had told him that too).

But thankfully, they were about to start heading over, so maybe the sound of the radio or whatever CD Lorenzo had in his car would make for some background noise to ease the awkwardness Xander expected this conversation to lull into.

"Are you mad at me?" Lorenzo didn't even have to ask; he wasn't stupid enough to not understand it in those words, in that tone, in the distance Xander was putting and the obvious defensiveness.

It wasn't the first time this had happened to him; he had a knack for getting on people's nerves. But it was the first time Xander had been vocal about it, and that's what caught Lorenzo off guard.

But that was a good sign.

He was tempted to laugh, and had to cover his mouth for a few seconds to keep from bursting out laughing. He didn't want to downplay Xander's anger or give the impression that he wasn't taking what he was saying seriously.

When he thought he had his reaction under control, he said, "Look, I'm gonna tell you something. My best friend didn't talk to me for weeks because I told him I didn't like his new boyfriend and that I was jealous that he was leaving me out and hiding the boyfriend thing from me." A bitter memory that had taught them both a lesson.

"To this day, we're still friends. What I want to tell you, Xander, is that you can be as mad at me as you want, but you'll soon realize that there's no point in staying mad. I'm not going to change. I'll continue to be who I am. And I hope you'll continue to be who you are, too. Because that's what I like about you—who you are." asserted.

"I tend to say things without filter, without tact. And if you have to scold me or defend yourself for it, that's fine. I hope you do" he concluded. Now that he was in control of his emotions, he could fasten his seatbelt and put the key in to start the car's engine.

[aeviterncl]

How did his explanation get interpreted like that? He wasn't complaining. He was stating his reality and how it might be a detriment to a productive study session. Genuinely, his feathers were ruffled from how quickly Lorenzo seemed to see this as him making excuses. Still, this peeved response of his was maybe him overreacting again. He shouldn't dwell on this. He didn't want to cause things to sour again by making false conclusions.

Pushing aside the jerk-ish attitude he was given just now, Xander reframed the words in his head as said in a more cautionary tone and followed Lorenzo to his car in silence. He needed a moment to gather his thoughts and control the emotions in his voice. If he spoke right away, it would be obvious he felt attacked by what his friend just said.

Upon getting his bag situated at his feet, he sat in the passenger seat of the vehicle. Settling in to rest his head against the headrest of his chair and lazily draping his arms on the armrest, the redhead finally replied, ❝ I'm aware of all that. I have been doing what I can with the tools and resources I have access to. I wasn't fishing for pity. ❞ Despite trying to remain cool, even he could tell there was lingering ire in his voice, ❝ I was simply letting you know I haven't gotten the chance to make the study guide materials easier for me to handle yet and what I might need from you because of that. ❞

Of course he would know the world wasn't kind to people who needed things adapted for accessibility. He had to deal with that forever. It was a reason he was home schooled longer than actually attending a public school with other people. But he was doing his best to bring what he needed and not ask for accommodations—minimizing the use of the plush cushion of 'woe is me' others perceived him to have.

Tugging on the seat belt, he pulled the buckle over to the lock and clicked it in, ❝ So I don't appreciate the assumption that I don't do anything on my end to adapt to what's provided to me or that I can't handle the real world without institutions and people hand holding me. ❞

"I don't want to be the one to remind you that not every situation will be in your favor. You have to adapt to it. The world is like that; it's not made or designed for everyone and their needs." But there he was being that person. He didn't mean to be a jerk; he was just being realistic.

"And if you need glasses or something to help you see better, well, get them. I have no problem reading you the study material, but during the finals, everything will be silent, and the teacher won't be able to help you either." Lorenzo didn't want to be insensitive, but he preferred practicality. He wanted to find solutions, not more excuses.

He touched his cheek where he had been poked, showing no adverse reaction to the physical contact between them. "Okay, follow me to the parking lot. My car is parked in a reserved spot." As he was a teaching assistant, he had been allowed to occupy a spot reserved for teachers.

[aeviterncl]

Lorenzo was smart enough to get exempt from finals? Seriously? What a far cry from what he was. Well, to be fair, Xander didn't think of himself as stupid or dumb—it was more like he hardly had a chance when he couldn't read half the things written on the papers (even with the text blown up to the typical accommodation standard). It was at that moment that the redhead realized Lorenzo had no idea about that part. The guy only knew the final result of his worst subject. Numbers weren't his thing but he fared much better at most other subjects if things were adjusted to suit his reading needs (in other words, intense magnification of the text on less painfully contrasting colored paper).

Sensing the exasperated tone of his friend's voice, Xander quickly replied to correct himself, ❝ I don't mean it from an intellectual standpoint! ❞ he started as he threaded his fingers through his hair, ❝ I meant that I don't get the best accommodations for when I have to take my exams. Assignments are more doable because I have the time to do the accommodating part myself. ❞

Normally, he wouldn't even bother to tell others about his limitations, but somehow, admitting to it now just naturally slipped out. Maybe it was because he had already gotten used to Lorenzo—trusted that he couldn't possibly sink further than he had already in terms of impressions. Or maybe he just wanted this person to know more about him and get back in his good graces (so desperately).

As he thought about their upcoming study session tonight, the redhead realized he'd probably be asking Lorenzo to read a lot of the study guide questions out loud for him—especially the ones for chemistry. Agh, that was going to be embarrassing! His voice dwindling a little as he further explained, Xander flicked his gaze away, ❝ You're probably going to have to do a lot of reading out loud for me. Even with my line readers, magnifiers, and highlighters, I struggle to read a lot of the print outs. ❞

Then, to hopefully lighten the tone, he let himself act on a little impulse. He reached out to poke Lorenzo's cheek with his finger, squinting hard as he returned his attention back to his friend, ❝ that also means I can't actually see your face that well. Think of me as being pitifully nearsighted. ❞ Although the truth was that with the high contrast of Lorenzo's dark hair and lighter skin, it sort of hurt looking directly at his face. Even though that wasn't entirely correct, it was the easiest to understand for the average person. Light sensitivity was a whole can of worms that affected people differently every case after all.

Yet his friend still extended his offer. God, this was making him all stupid inside! Retracting his finger and tucking his hands in his pockets to hide the beginnings of clamminess, Xander relented, ❝ But if you're fine with all that reading eating up your study time, then... I'll join you, ❞

"Why not?" was his first response. "I was exempt from several finals and the most important one is under control." Being a good student had its benefits too and allowed him not to get stressed in cycles like this, where others were suffering with one foot in the coffin.

Xander tended to give up prematurely, and that was something that got on his nerves like it was now. He wanted to give him a good smack to get him to react.

"Hopeless? You? You can't just say it until you've tried your hardest, you hear me? That failure mentality will ruin a lot of opportunities before they even begin. So, are you coming with me?"

[aeviterncl]

are you staring at my lips? [Hugh/Erlik; @aeviterncl]

“SOOOOO… WHAT IF WE KISSED…?” PROMPTS

"And what if that's the case?" he asked with a controlled smile on his face. He made no attempt to appear less guilty about having been caught red-handed.

"I can look at whatever I want, and that includes your lips, of course." And that was something no one was going to take away from him.

"I can't have them, but I can look at them, like someone looking at a beautifully arranged and immovable work of art." That's what Hugh meant to him, a work of art painted with tangled emotions, secret colors and darkened longings.

@aeviterncl

[aeviterncl]

<3 whichever you like!

MEME┊accepting.

send me   “<3… “   for my muse to talk about someone they like, but are too shy/nervous to confess their feelings to!

Someone he liked, huh?

When posed with that hypothetical, the blurry and almost completely indistinguishable face that popped into Xander's mind was not one he'd like to admit anything to, let alone acknowledge in this kind of context. Every time he faced that person, he'd slip up, make a fool of himself, and be utterly unlikable. There was no way that anything good would sprout from all the ways he found out how to strain everything further each time they talked. Even if he tried to correct things, it never seemed to be enough.

What did liking someone even mean?

Honestly, he didn't know why that person always seemed to be on his mind, why he kept thinking so hard about how to make himself not fall short of his expectations. Why did he care so much about his opinion? Was it the favorable first impression that he shattered and wanted back? No matter how much Xander thought about it, he couldn't come to a plausible answer.

❝ ... Don't ask me. I don't even know how to make sense of any of this. I don't even know why that face popped into my head. ❞