afcmonologue-blog

[afcmonologue-blog]

Eventful Clubbing, but NO CLOSE

So here I am at 4:14 am in the morning just recapping on the shit that went done tonight. My ears are ringing, from the sound of mediocre music and failed escalations. However, not all was as fail as it could have been. Instead, I walk away tonight with my head held high as I made a few new experiences for myself.

Firstly, had pre-drinks at a friend's rented apartment. Two vodka lemonades later (not that manly, I know, but alcohol is quite fun to consume) and I feel lighter in the head. We head over for free entry to the clubbing event of the night before heading over to the cheapest watering hole in the locale. With that, a friend bought drinks for us, and we start opening a 2-set. My friend is the epitome of a possible cockblock, throwing out statements like "my friend thinks you're hot". I mean, it should be possible to reframe this into something positive, but I'm running on low ideas. Maybe throwing out a statement like, "yeah, holy shit, you're hot as" would work. I dunno, but I definitely need to work on re-framing around her.

Besides my friend's CB (she is a chick, but fun to be around regardless), some light conversation was held. We had a couple of chicks with us, but apparently one was taken, the other was appealing but I didn't want to fuck up the dynamic. Figured I'd use them to draw in others, but that didn't happen as well as I thought it'd be.

Fast forward another hour or so. My friend ended up CB'ing hard, pretty much ruining my frame with another girl. I had set the frame up in advance from the last two times we met, but completely disintegrated it with a couple of well placed statements. Honestly, I ought to never tell her shit again. But yeah, small things aside.

Moving on again to the clubbing event. A bit more alcohol, and I'm in state. I'm grinding on a couple of chick friends who reciprocate. Eventually with my confidence, I caught eye contact with some other chick (she looked Korean, lul) and pulled her in to dance. She reciprocates happily, and over the course of the next 20 minutes, we end up grinding up the dancefloor. But apparently, she got pulled out by a random guy, and (apparently, according to a friend) they were making out. Key point to take away; eye contact is IOI & GO FOR IT FFS

A couple of hours of dancing later, I'm getting bored. Another chick is dancing, so I go up to her and grind for a couple minutes before she says to me "your girlfriend is going". At that moment, I went completely 'wtf', and shook my head. Damage was done already. Friends (including the girl who was apparently my 'girlfriend') were leaving so I also had to go. Interestingly, it was at both these times where #-close were definitely possible but I just pussied out. Another note, use your friends to dance, but don't go OTT with it where it throws out the balance (said because grinding between me and said friends was possible to be construed as something seen only in a relationship, but w.e.)

Other than that, not much happened. Had a fun night without blowing the budgets. Many things were done, including dancing. Confidence went up manyfold, but working on gaming while clubbing needs more work. However, despite all the alcohol-induced confidence, there is hope that I'll be able to convert this energy into something useful.

Interestingly, it feels like an apt continuation from last week where I went to a bar scene and got some active dancing. I might have just found something new to entertain myself when I have excess time and money.

Bye for now, and hopefully not forever, your friendly AFC

[afcmonologue-blog]

An Eventful Night

Holy shit, am I a sucker. Party starts. I'm opening sets left and right. Sure some sets are awkward and I eject quickly enough. One set I run an ongoing joke. But I realise my frame-setting is weak. Nothing comes of it, but I feel I can do better next time.

Anyway, I digress.

Main point of this post is the realisation that I'm a sucker. The one girl I have one-itis for drinks too much on this occasion. She spews and pretty much KO's herself for the rest of the night. On that note, as a friend, I hope she's well.

But digressing further, as I sat beside her. I managed to find out details about who she really is. Alcohol is a wonderful, but terrible truth serum. I almost wish I could take back what I heard. Anyway, one-itis is also a terrible affliction when you're sitting next to the girl, prompting her to vomit into a bag. I avoid drunken questions with hidden truths, and I hope that she will never remember what was said. I just want to put this chapter behind me. Many mistakes were made. But I accept that and move on.

Still, it's a disappointing night. I wish I could have done more in terms of engaging sets. Even with more alcohol than erythrocytes in my bloodstream, I failed to have anything eventually return as positive benefits. I need to learning how to create a more addicting, assertive frame without alcohol.

But still, it's a night that's allowed me some clarity. Move on AFC, you can do better. Fuck your oneitis in the ass and be a more confident SOB.

[afcmonologue-blog]

Refresh now

So tonight was perhaps not a great night. I was shut down by the chick for whom I had severe oneitis. While not to my face, one of my best friends confirmed what to be my fears. However with that said, it was an eventful night. A night at the bar lead to a new immersive experience into the bar scene. As I write this, my head spins slightly. No doubt the effects of the countless alcoholic beverages which I have consumed this night.

So, this presents an interesting opportunity to let my thoughts run relatively unfiltered. With my mind so addled by alcohol, it gives me a chance to reflect upon the experiences I have had tonight.

So despite not being able to gain the affection of said oneitis despite heavy kino and relatively forward attention, I managed to open several sets to varying degrees of success. I'm pretty sure I creeped one HB out, despite opening the set. Opened another two-set, but didn't manage to escalate. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT POINT. I need to learn more conversation topics and how to transition into better, more interesting conversation..

Nextly, I need to learn how to deal with other AMOGs in the conversation. While getting them to qualify is a useful tactic, it seems too repetitive. But whatever. I'll get there.

Not sure what else I need to add here except for, I need to activate boss-mode more. I was doing well before the heavy consumption of alcohol. This is something I must work out. My alcohol consumption and how to game effectively.

Anyway, will probably update this later when I'm not so tired and alcohol-ridden.

[afcmonologue-blog]

Self-limiting beliefs and social calibration

Dear writer of these monologues, it should be brought to your friggin' attention that you're being held back by self-limiting beliefs. You're stopping yourself from doing interesting things merely because you 'believe' that it's socially unacceptable to do them. For example, when challenged to get someone's name by proposing for their hand in marriage, you backed down. Why? Do you honestly believe that they'll blow you off merely because you're doing something weird? Honestly, that's just weak shit.

What was the worst that could have happened? They would just tell you to go away and probably be mildly annoyed. Best case would've been a name, a number or maybe even a date. But no, you had to be to much of a scared pussy to accept the challenge. Tomorrow you need to go up to someone and open them by asking for their hand. Do it.

However, not all was bad. You opened several people, and got the number of a cute girl. Admittedly, it was a friend and prac member, but still, take the small victories and build up. Make sure to ping and keep some contact.

Next, work on your social calibration. You've got this stupid-ass habit of opening people, but never escalating the conversation past the awkward phase. Just push past it for once, and you might be surprised with what you can do.

[afcmonologue-blog]

Giving value and outcome independence

Those two terms pretty much equate to going about life not giving a shit, yet making the lives of people you meet better. Yet I'm finding myself struggling with the second term, 'outcome independence'. I've always felt that I'm being scrutinised for all my actions and that any misstep will be heavily punished by society. But I guess, that just means I'm too outcome dependence. In a way, it is the quintessential reason why I come off as needy. Something that I need to fix, anyway I digress...

On this day, I realised how much oneitis I'm suffering from. This girl, who I've known for a year, has embedded herself deeply in my head. I mean, I'm not even in a relationship with her, and yet I find myself wanting to pursue her more and more. At least, until today. I think, I've realised that I can't get suckered in to one person for that will just limit my options. I need to keep a look out and never become too needy.

Anyway, I hope to post a FR soon. One where I get the numbers of a couple cute friends I've met recently.

[afcmonologue-blog]

Very Humble Beginnings

I am an AFC. Sad to say it, but only after reading the Seddit sub-forum have I realised what an Average Frustrated Chump I am. I am a typical asian noob when it comes to not only the ladies, but matters of life. I guess after twenty odd years of being spoon-fed and mollycoddled have I realised how much more I have to go in life. When I see other people I admire, they seem so self-assured and confident. Sure, they're not perfect, but they seem comfortable with who they are. Me, on the other hand, I can be very self-aware. I feel like the whole world is scrutinising me, and I can't afford to make seemingly big risks. Yet, if I don't take risks in conversation or action, my self-image as a shy and unsocial introvert takes place. It's an awkward catch-22.

Though I say this, I know I am not a complete social outcast. I have perfectly good friends who I speak with on a regular basis and I get along with others well. It simply feels that I have created a construct in which I am living. A reality governed by rules and self-limiting beliefs that I choose to abide with rather than expand beyond. In doing this, I have limited my social landscape. I feel that this has been going on for too long. It's honestly about time I've made some changes.

As a small step forward, I'm going to list a few things I want to become in 90 days as per Tofutofu's guide on seddit.

Limit the amount of entertainment videos on Youtube watched (e.g. SC2 videos)

Exercise daily in the morning

Eat healthy (cut out unnecessary snacks and limit unhealthy foods)

Read one financial book a month (get a library card)

Keep up with medical school

Speak to more people (especially randoms on the street)

Practice seduction

The man I want to be will be more confident and self-assured. He will be less dependent on the reactions of others, yet at the same time become a better communicator. He will be someone who is not daunted by the prospects of approach anxiety and will actively purse a better lifestyle. He is someone that pursues his own interests and removes mediocrity and averageness from his life.

And thus begins the first step; for all journeys of ten thousand miles begins with but the first step.