afterthedescent

[afterthedescent]

/ / ooc.

i know it's been awhile since i posted. hells, it's been awhile since i ever touched BG3. life got crazy, to say the absolute least, and it hasn't shown any signs of slowing down. between that, the fact that i'm pretty sure Kallan's game is jacked (i modded too close to the sun), and the act 3 choice paralysis...woof. yeah.

i'm starting to consider just starting Kallan's game all over, which should clear out all the bug issues. but ugh.

[afterthedescent]

It's still 1, Marpenoth in Kallie's world (the day after finishing Astarion's companion quest), but once again the brainrot is coming in strong.

no YOU haven't made any progress shut up

Wait, is that right? ...

Let's see, I did the Iron Throne quest and am currently making me way through the Steel Foundry. Have I really not taken a long rest? Maybe it's 2, Marpenoth...

ANYWAY, this brainrot takes place after the Iron Throne quest so SPOILERS!

The party is able to safely escort Grand Duke Ravengard to their rooms at the Elfsong, and that evening, after things have settled, the Duke and Wyll are sitting beside the fire. Others are meandering about. Kallan steps down and approaches the two men, and both stand as she does. Duke Ravengard greets her by calling her Teya, and things get quiet - at least for Kallan.

He catches himself quickly. He knows better. He knows who Kallan is and what happened...but she looks just like her...

She excuses herself and slips out into the hallway, where she releases a big breath of air.

Off to one side, Karlach looks at the double doors of their rooms. She's standing with some of the others. "She's been there for all of us, y'know? Hasn't complained about the fucking baggage we all have. Just listens. And helps. Has anyone done that for her? Or have we all been caught up in our own shit?"

Astarion's nearby but not part of the conversation. He frowns, his attention now fixated on the doors as well, and not the book he had been reading.

[afterthedescent]

KALLAN WAS WITH GRAND DUKE RAVENGARD WHEN HE WAS KIDNAPPED.

Well, not exactly BUT LISTEN.

After the end of my DiA campaign, Kallan decided to go to Elturel - one to see that it had been returned for herself, and two, so that she could see the Grand Duke and escort him back to the Gate.

Ravengard says that he was on his way back from Elturel when he was kidnapped. So either Kallan got yeeted from Waukeen's rest or just before.

Maybe she got taken while on the road, and they tried to find her? And came upon Waukeen's rest after searching for some time and things went south from there?

The timeline gets a little messy with this, but I love it.

[afterthedescent]

In-game, it's the day after finishing Astarion's questline, but the brainrot is already thinking ahead.

I don't think it's a secret that Kallan has some Hangups about her previous situationship with Samael. She didn't really want to think about it/there's been more important things to worry about, but after Astarion essentially tells her "I'm all in" after finishing his companion quest...her mind's been stuck on it - on Sam. It's been difficult for her to sleep, which had resulted in her not being at her best in fights, etc (lol shitty dice rolls).

It doesn't go unnoticed by the others that Kallan's not herself, but Wyll is the first to say anything. He approaches her one evening at the Elfsong, concerned about his friend. Maybe she's been distant and keeping to herself, which isn't odd necessarily, but more often than not she spends at least part of her night with the others. Wyll asks if everything is alright, and while it takes some coaxing, Kallan eventually confesses that it isn't - that she's been thinking a lot about things before the nautiloid.

Wyll: "Some things or someone?" Kallan: "..."

They talk for a bit, and Wyll suggests that she write Samael a letter. He won't be able to read it, obviously, but maybe it'll give Kallan closure.

[afterthedescent]

the first time that Kallan canonically (because I totally did it before this for the s's and g's) asks Astarion "what are we" is the day after finishing his companion quest.

her timing isn't that great. I mean, c'mon, Astarion just killed Cazador and set thousands of starving vampire spawn loose in the Underdark. He's got a lot to process.

But sure, Kallie. Ask him to define y'all's relationship.

She's been content to just...let things be up until this point. She's respected Astarion's space as he worked through his trauma, and she didn't pressure him for any sort of intimacy (truth be told, she's not sure how to deal with any of that, herself). Their relationship didn't stagnate, though - it grew, just not in the usual sense. Their intimacy was in the hours spent at camp/in the Elfsong, talking after everyone else had bedded down.

So when Astarion wants to be physical in the graveyard, Kallan is hesitant. She doesn't want him to feel pressured, or to do something he might regret later. He assures her, though, that he's certain of this. He wants to feel alive again, he says, and he feels that way when he's with her.

The next day, though, Kallan's confused. She has to know where, exactly, they stand. He'd said a lot the night before, but what did it all mean? So she asks him, and in true Astarion fashion, he gives a very cute and cheeky but very non-answer answer.

"Nothing special, of course. You're only the first person who I truly care for."

It's definitely too soon to know for sure. but the immediate change in Astarion after dealing with Cazador is a relief.

[afterthedescent]

okay I'm back SPOILERS FOR ASTARION'S COMPANION QUEST

Kallan isn't sure that she did a good thing - not an entirely good thing, at least. Cazador was a bastard, no doubt, and she doesn't feel an ounce of guilt about his demise. In fact, she won't admit it, but she enjoyed watching Astarion turn the vampire into a pincushion.

The 7000 spawn they unleashed into the Underdark, though? That she's less sure about. She tried to look at the options objectively, but when the idea was posed to kill all of them, all she could see was Astarion's face. He would have lived, of coursed, as would his brothers and sisters (most likely), but still. Kallan couldn't separate her feelings for Astarion from the spawn, so she convinced him to do what's arguably the stupidest thing...and release all of Cazador's prisoner-spawn.

Everyone else seems to think she did the right thing, though, or that she at least made the best of a bad situation.

Gale: You did a good thing back there. I won't dwell on the matter - I know that's not a sentiment you're accustomed to reveling in, but rest assured...your actions have spoken for themselves.

[afterthedescent]

it's now 1, Marpenoth in-game, so it's been roughly a month and a half since Kallan escaped the nautiloid.

time check

game started on 20, Eleasis, and it's now 15, Elient. it's been almost a month since the nautiloid crashed and this whole thing kicked off.

lol the idea that Kallan and the gang were just cross-country hiking for 25 days amuses me.

[afterthedescent]

I'm still mulling everything over, but have this cute screenshot of Kallan and Astarion smooching.

I finished Astarion's companion quest a bit ago, and I've been sitting with my thoughts since I did. I have a lot of them. I need to lie down.

I'll try to string together some narrative cohesion once the brain rot has calmed down a bit.

[afterthedescent]

I finished Astarion's companion quest a bit ago, and I've been sitting with my thoughts since I did. I have a lot of them. I need to lie down.

I'll try to string together some narrative cohesion once the brain rot has calmed down a bit.

[afterthedescent]

Gale: You did a good thing back there. I won't dwell on the matter - I know that's not a sentiment you're accustomed to reveling in, but rest assured...your actions have spoken for themselves.

[afterthedescent]

In my DiA game, a statue was erected of the party in Baldur's Gate, as an homage, because for awhile it was believed they died after saving the city (when really they were in Avernus). This was unique to the campaign, obviously, so it doesn't actually exist in BG3, but I like to pretend it does.

This is the first time Kallan has been back to Baldur's Gate since she left for Elturel at the end of the campaign. She saw the statue once, but when she sees it again now it's like she's seeing it for the first time. It just hits different I guess.

With everything else going on, I don't think anyone notices her/puts together that she looks like one of the women in the statue (Teya's face was much more recognizable in Upper City than in Lower City). I don't think the others do, either - not until Kallan slows down and they outpace her. Astarion notices that she isn't walking next to him anymore, and he stops to look back. She doesn't notice when he, and then the others, come to stand beside her because she's preoccupied with the faces of her former companions, all staring down at her.

She wonders how Tzaiya is - if she made it to Candlekeep. She feels guilty for not visiting Israfil and Tex sooner...and then guiltier, still, when she thinks about how she might be in the city for awhile but won't let them know. She can't get them involved in all of this - even though she knows they'd join her without a second thought.

And then she finally makes herself look at Sam's face, chiseled from stone. She feels a lump form in her throat...

[afterthedescent]

lol but passing the history check gets you approval from Jaheira if she's with you. I'm headcanoning that it's because she fed Kallan that story. Y'know, just in case the cub needed it.

Kallan would've readily given back the 10k gold that was stolen from the Counting House. It's not that she isn't aware of how helpful it would be to the group - she simply didn't think of doing otherwise.

Astarion definitely encouraged her to keep it. Gale, I think, would be conflicted. On the one hand, it isn't their gold; it belongs to the people of Baldur's Gate. But on the other hand...damnit, Astarion's right. It would be incredibly helpful to have a full gold pouch. Jaheira doesn't approve, I don't think. She's not staunchly against it. More like disappointed it's being discussed. There's more important things to worry about - things gold can't help with.

That said, Jaheira is the one that feeds Kallan the bit about the heist in Neverwinter that she (Kallan) then later uses with Rakath.

Kallan isn't sure what she's going to do until she's standing in front of Rakath, deep in the vault. She tells the others that they at least owe it to the dwarf to report back.

[afterthedescent]

Kallan would've readily given back the 10k gold that was stolen from the Counting House. It's not that she isn't aware of how helpful it would be to the group - she simply didn't think of doing otherwise.

Astarion definitely encouraged her to keep it. Gale, I think, would be conflicted. On the one hand, it isn't their gold; it belongs to the people of Baldur's Gate. But on the other hand...damnit, Astarion's right. It would be incredibly helpful to have a full gold pouch. Jaheira doesn't approve, I don't think. She's not staunchly against it. More like disappointed it's being discussed. There's more important things to worry about - things gold can't help with.

That said, Jaheira is the one that feeds Kallan the bit about the heist in Neverwinter that she (Kallan) then later uses with Rakath.

Kallan isn't sure what she's going to do until she's standing in front of Rakath, deep in the vault. She tells the others that they at least owe it to the dwarf to report back.

[afterthedescent]

Kallan / Astarion / Gale angst because I'm so about this shit.

After overhearing something flirty Astarion says to Kallan in their rooms at the Elfsong, and perhaps feeling emboldened/cocky (this isn't the right word but fuck it, I'm rambling and it conveys the same sentiment) because Mystra wants to see him, Gale steps over to Astarion after Kallan goes to talk to Jaheira.

He acknowledges that it isn't any of his business, but he basically asks what Astarion's intentions/endgame are - assuming they all make it out of this mess. Part of Astarion wants to tell Gale to shove off, but something in him decides to humor the wizard (maybe he's just bored). Truth is he doesn't know, himself, though - not really. He makes a silly comment about it, but Gale presses him a bit more.

Astarion is a vampire. Kallan isn't, nor does she have enough angelic blood to make her immortal. Her lifespan might be slightly longer than that of a typical man, but her lifespan does have an end point. Astarion's does not.

How is Kallan to feel when time takes its toll on her, but not Astarion? When he is just as strong and handsome as the day she met him, but she - a warrior - is grey and frail?

Gale's curiosity/concern doesn't lie solely with their leader, though. What will Astarion do when he has to watch the woman he loves (Astarion's mouth tightens here) wither and, inevitably, perish?

Astarion: Am I to heed your warnings, Gale? The talk of a man that warmed the bed of a goddess?

Gale: I offer no warnings, Astarion. However, I do have some amount of expertise in the subject, as you so eloquently stated.

They ruffle each other's feathers a bit before Gale goes to read beside the fire, leaving Astarion with quite a bit to think about.

[afterthedescent]

I think by this point Gale is mostly over the hurt he felt when Kallan had to reject him (not completely, mind you, but mostly). He understands that she's made her choice, and he won't wait around in case she changes her mind, but neither is he going to pretend that he feels nothing for her. He's accepted everything for what it is. And hell, given that they could all die at any point, he doesn't want to go with any regret that could be easily absolved on his heart.

Or something. Idk. This wizard is killing me.

Gale: For now, to have a few more days in your company... No, I wouldn't change a thing.

GALE. GALE, YOU SAY THIS RIGHT NEXT TO ASTARION?!

[afterthedescent]

Gale: For now, to have a few more days in your company... No, I wouldn't change a thing.

GALE. GALE, YOU SAY THIS RIGHT NEXT TO ASTARION?!

[afterthedescent]

Kallan really admires Jaheira. She doesn't idolize her, like Karlach does, but she respects the ever-loving fuck out of her. She's willing to make hard/less-than-ideal choices (ie attempting to poison Kallan when she first met her) when it comes to protecting others.

Jaheira's personality and wit are also oddly comforting to Kallan, who's not super in-tune with her emotions and what not.

The two get on well. They seem to have an understanding of each other (especially in combat) that's almost psionic, despite the fact that Jaheira is tadpole-less.