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agangofbuffaloes · 4 months ago

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The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

My name is Conor Reilly and I have really fucked up my life. But before I get to that great story, I want to tell you the last four years of my life. Don’t worry, I’ll try to get through it as quick as possible and maybe stay for second on a topic if there’s some juice. Doing it for me, not that much happened, under Construction.

Came out of Army OCS. Commissioned. Didn’t plan on it or couldn’t plan on it so I ended living temporarily with a female OCS student that I didn’t know that well. It was during the height of COVID so everyone was locked down and that got real old real quick. Bought a 2019 Nissan Frontier with 9,000 miles on it and it was nice having a set of wheels. Moved into a $650 a month apartment and honestly it wasn’t that bad. Got called up in July to start in ABOLC and while I didn’t have an option, I really didn’t have an option. Shot my weapon into the dirt during the first Phase, miraculously made it passed Land Navigation and kept going. Phase II, barely passed a non-recyclable event in Weapons Testing and shot Gunnery. They say it wasn’t real Gunnery as we sat in the BP and because of COVID only shot targets at day, but it was pretty cool. One of the highlights of the short lived career. Finished Phase 2 and went to OPORD diagramming. Was naturally bamboozled by the more detailed planning analysis required. Like we were using air assets, engineers, there was probably even an RPG team in the OPORD that I missed. (That would have been dope, but I doubt that I missed that one.) But long story short, failed and then had to go recycle board on whether they were going to keep me or not. To be honest, I don’t know if I am hyping this up from -just a formality- to an -honest evaluation whether or not the officer should be in the MOS- or if it’s like DAMN! most people that go in don’t make it out-. I don’t know. But I went in, it was the company commander with a few other people and he asked me a couple questions, like if I wanted to be there. And I didn’t want to leave not really because I was in love with the armour branch, but more so because I didn’t want to fail.

OPORDS had dogged me since OCS when I had gotten introduced to them and honestly it was one of the things I don’t know what I would have done differently to solve them. Like if you know you cant do something but that thing is the cornerstone of every single promotion and school you will ever go to, it tends to mess with you. And oh yeah, you cant quit. So I just said to the Co. Commander like this is my #1 branch. Don’t want to go anywhere else. And the way he said it, it was like he was trying to get people like question themselves and like fold. But I could be wrong, but I was sticking to my guns in my mind. So he recommended me to stay and you had to essentially just wait for the next class to pick up. It was a bummer, but the class behind us was shooting Gunnery and they didn’t let us shoot. So me another kid who failed OPORDS (the funny story about this guy was that he happened to be from the same OCS class as I was in, was probably as spaz as I was ((probably less)) and got a 70-which is passing- on the OPORD but was either convinced or like forced by the company commander to take the phase again) we just stood in the bleachers, and watched people shoot tanks in both day and night iterations. Watching people shoot tanks is fun for about 15 minutes, then you have all the video recordings your heart desires and you still have about 10 hours left in the whole process. It was brutal to start off this way, but it was stress free as all I was required to do was show up. (To me, shooting tanks is stressful. There’s a lot that goes into the whole process, like think of sitting at a switchboard, moving all this shit around and then firing a SABOT Round)

So OPORDS began. I had to redo all the boring and miserable parts of OPORDS. The planning, the all nighters that you had to pull to draw out your entire mission, the homework, the PT in the morning, it was a bitch to having to redo. We even had to the 12 mile ruck again. (Funny story, a subordinate NCO let the other LT who got recycled not have to do it again. Then I asked upper echelon NCO if both of us had to do because to be quite honest they were going to make me do it over and not the other LT and they were like yea, you two are doing it again. That LT was pisssssed. Like slam your trunk door pissed. My bad. 😬)

But when the “gate” OPORD came, (the one failed and got it kicked back to me) I passed. I passed. I was so happy that I was able to go on to Phase 4. It was the same mission, and it was the same evaluator who had me flunked the second time around, and I have no idea what I did differently but I was so relieved. Whatever, I’ll take the gate and we are out.

So we moved on and for the last phase, it was actually pretty dope what we get to do. They have a training area way out there in Fort Benning, probably 20 minutes past the schoolhouse where we would be doing 4 on 4 tanks battles simulated with laser tag technology. The first two weeks was pretty basic, where we walked the course and the cadre leading it pointed out routes to possibly take, how to map out a battlefield and kind of the basics of what we were going to do. We ended up hopping on tanks and then slowly, kind of getting a grip of what we were doing.

Get a mission, map out it and then run through with all the bells and whistle of the calls that we needed to put up on the comms and how to organize your platoon (4 tanks) to fight the mission. We were initially commuting to the site but once the graded missions started, we had to for like two and half weeks sleep on tanks out in the site. It was butt but I had heard stories of Phase 4 from some of the people in my last class who I had semi-regularly hung out with and while it wasn’t exactly tearing me apart that I wasn’t stuck on a tank for two and half weeks, I definitely felt like I was missing out on something. People were telling funny stories or talking about the time such and such happened. But I guess that happens to everyone, as even I have stories coming out of BOLC, like the time my tank shot down a simulated HIND-D from a tank or when this guy fell off a tank and had to go to the hospital.

(There’s also tragic stories coming from Phase 4, like the time a branch fell on soldier and killed him) But the point being was that I was glad to be there, as I was getting moving on and getting to do it myself. So the mission finally drops for me and it’s a defensive mission, meaning the tanks that I was going be leading would be defending a certain area and it would be up to me to how we were going to do it. The planning process is a bitch you have to diagram an OPORD that you learned how to do in Phase III, but did in a classroom is now being done outside in a tank or wherever you could find space with no internet and not really any resources to pull from if you were like what the fuck?

You’re the dude and you better have a plan in the beginning of the morning. You’re the guy. And in fairness, it is simulated sense of a real world scenario. You might have your NCO to pull from, but he has other duties and you better be able to do like your one responsibility. So I get the defensive mission and decide that my game plan is that I was going to plan the route, give people the comms, all the necessary stuff and then I would decide the second half of the battle once we got there at the top of the hill. It wasn’t the worst all time but it , but to me creating an option play where I could see the terrain and then there get a gameplan going from there seemed logical and saved me a bucketload of time planning and let me get some zzzz’s going before we were going to fight the battle. But I feel I sunk myself before we had even gotten started. I started off in the wrong formation, my second in command started planning my mission -he literally started barking off commands and I was oh bro, and there wasn’t enough time to both plan in the moment and then setup. I failed, it sucked and I had to wait another week for me to go again.

This time, they moved me to another platoon and I got an offense this time. Sometimes you can get a weird roll, which showed as the platoon I went into was actually helpful and people were giving an indispensable advice that honestly helped me pass the mission. Was I pissed? Hell yeah, there is dumbness and I didn’t help myself by not going balls out, planning it out completely. But I saw basic plans getting passed. I would later see people in the completely wrong field-like not even in bounds of where the actual mission was- get passed and I saw people have their offense get obliterated and not even fail the mission but essential get a restart. (Good for them, but your like, really?)

For the second go-which was like waiting for painting to dry-, a couple of things changed (1) they moved me to a different platoon and didn’t have a BLM supporter and someone from Kenosha, WI in it (no joke, it was a very awkward debate where the dude from Kenosha was like my town was on fire, and she would respond, BLM.BLM. to everything. Oh man, this is better than a Fox News debate ) But it was funny, on the new tank there were two female LT’s, a white NCO and the other LT was a black guy who I switched places with. What was my niche? In the variation of Marshawn Lynch “I’m just here because I failed.”

(2) I would be getting an offensive mission (3) I would stay up the entire night in the driver’s seat planning the mission so things fell into place. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but initially it looked like I got suicide mission. It was an open field, that I was supposed to attack the opposing side. By going just straight across it, you would get fucked up, and that very obvious. But my TC dropped a nugget and was like hey, check out such and such. It wasn’t cheating because he wasn’t doing my mission and it was good advice. I rotated the map, and I was like whaaat. It was like seeing the road to El Dorado by flipping the map upside down or some shit. (Here less was on the line.)

It worked out, somehow only got an 85 (It gets graded as a 70 for the 2x’rs) or something even with all the life hacks people were giving me, but a pass is a pass. And it felt good. But I wasn’t out the ABOLC woods yet. I accumulated three red cards which was enough to get me recycled in the Phase and I still needed to qualify on weapons before I left. Somehow in the middle of Phase 4, the NCO came and was like its time to shoot and I kind shrugged of him off being like naaa not me man lol. That’s not an answer in the military. Doing something like that is not optional but somehow it worked. To explain my attitude, this was slightly after reading a book at night called “Eyewitness to the Fetterman Fight” which was a series of collections from American Indians at the Fetterman Massacre and a soldier came up to me and told me that either I was not American or the American Indians were not American (I can’t exactly remember five years later which it was and who knows if it was direct statement or indirect reference) but I was like what the fuck?

So when the NCO came up to me I was like “I’m good” I was like “people want to say that shit and then I have to re-qualify on weapons?” Later on, one of the NCO’s came up to me and told me that he fixed my qualifying card and I was good to go. So two down, and I would hear my fate with the accumulation of red cards. It was an accumulation of dumb shit, like being late to formation one time as I didn’t plan the extra 20 minutes it took to get out into the field, and would have to wait on the call by the battalion commander. (I will forever remember the last name of this battalion commander as he shares the surname with a famous hockey player). So everybody’s out of the field and I thinkk nobody in that class got recycled. Even the OCS guy who failed Phase III with me, failed and then passed. (While this is a whole different rabbit hole to go down, it was always BS that the people getting recycled were coming out of OCS, what are we the dummies? And it was the same three people, including myself every time.) After awhile, for me at least you were just welp, I guess I won’t be making it through that course. And these weren’t like super selective courses, they were like ones with like 90%+ attrition rates. And that’s an important stat to know because for whatever reason people try to blow them up into something that they ain’t.

Anyways, after it’s over we all go back to the building that was way back where we started the first day of Phase IV is and everybody’s names are on these long sheets and they trying to see if all the names are spelled correctly. I spot mine and I think I’m in. One of the NCO’s tell me I’m good in and oh man, that brought a smile to my face. Phew. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes to get me through but praise the Lord (John 3:16) We got to graduate on the big MCOE stage and it was well worth it as COVID-19 allegedly* wiped out my OCS commissioning ceremony, where we took our oath in a giant field in OCP’s with masks that were ripped out of shirts. But it was a proud moment, being able to follow through on completing the school regardless of my inability to score on OPORDS and having three major cards fall in my favor. Like I could be at ABOLC trying to pass the course right now if I hadn’t gotten that type of luck.

After that, we just waited. Call it bureaucratic waste, call it part of the rest of the cycle after having to go through 6 months of sleeping on tanks, getting up at 0330 for Land Nav, call it waiting on waiting for schools to open up and going to others in the meantime, call it whatever you want. I don’t care. All I know is that I had a report date June 1 2022 to Fort Bliss, TX and to me that was then I was to show up. In the meantime, I had a tank maintenance course on the schedule and a follow on school for Scout Recon training that was considered a mid-major as you didn’t need it, but it was to good to have on your so to speak on your record that was coming up in March.

So in the meantime I just chilled. There was a 250 radius in effect for travel because of COVID-19, but it didn’t bother me since I wasn’t really going anywhere. I think I ended up going one time to Gainesville, which was like 250 miles flat from Columbus but other than that I wasnt doing shit. I went to MLMC, then dipped home for holiday break. With the exception of my family, there’s nothing there. I might go into the city once, but other than that its me sitting on the couch binge watching Prime Video. My all time holiday break move is one day waking up at like 11, watching all three Lord of the Rings movies in bed and then going back to bed. Anyways, so I came back to Columbus, sat and chilled.

Then Scouts Leader’s Course finally came. It was in the same building as ABOLC but on the second floor and it was the same shit initially with in processing and what not for the first day but as far as the course went, it was completely different. Scouts go out into the woods and the fucking jungle and act as a ears and eyes to much bigger elements. In warfare, it’s a really fucking cool job, but its fucking physically intensive. You don’t get to ride a tank, your walking everywhere but its dope. Don’t romanticize anything in the Army, but honestly once I got out of school I should I should of went in as a scout.

Anyways, so half the time we out in the field like learning basically use the elements and knowledge of the terrain to navigate without having to use anything electric. Super helpful, but I’m not going to lie there were a couple times where I was just either going through the motions or trying to milk it. Some of the things I just didn’t feel like doing. So we get back to the classroom and then we start with the classroom learning phase where we learn the tactics and methods and it was all good.

They gave homework which was a bitch because usually when you got home you didn’t really have to do anything or prepare unless there was a major thing coming up, which wasn’t always. So anyways, I’m not going to lie but I forgot the format of whether we started OPORD prep and then went back into the field, or went then went back after tactics, but it really doesn’t matter. We then went back into the field, for this segment where just walked and walked and walked. There was so much walking in this training exercise as you would get a mission, plan it and then execute and then walk to the next one. It was through hills and valleys, twists and turns and you would just keep going. We would hear cringe stories of people going through waist deep water just to keep up their dead reckoning and you were like Why? Did you have to do that? I’m lucky I didn’t have to do that.

I got a mission where we had to find two BRDMS and in the words of Young Dro RIP (I KILT THAT SHIT) But it was still booty and counted for nothing. Like you could have had a similar mission, not been able to find the BRDMs at all, passed the OPORD and been A-OK in the eyes of the program. (Which never happened of course, and makes total sense)

I don’t eat MRE’s which are the meal to gos that the Army gives when you are out in the field, so I lost 13 pounds in 4 days. 45+ miles in 3 days with 35 lbs. rucksacks on 300 calories will do that to you. So we get back and next are OPORDS. It’s really good that Scout OPORDS are easier than ABOLC’s. (Joke) Scout OPORDS are waaay harder and require more graphic details. I knew I was fucked. I even asked the teacher if I could quit, it was so self defeating. I’m not knocking or blaming the teaching, but I knew I wasn’t prepared. So they come and I didn’t exactly attack the OPORD, but I didn’t half ass it. I was just like fuck. I don’t know, I am fucked.

Naturally, I fail. So I get a second shot and this time I go all out. I ask questions, go to somebodys house (it was actually the same dude who said either the Oglala/Blackfeet/Crow or Irish Catholics weren’t American) for feedback on what I was doing wrong, I stay up the entire night working on the project and guess what, I still fail. I was so defeated. Looking back, it really wasn’t that bad. I thought it was good. I ended up appealing to the Battalion Commander which you could do just on the basis of FUCK ALL Y’ALL. The BC was brutal. He was like this OPORD is far below a passing, it’s a complete waste but you can stay on and graduate with a certificate of completion. Not sure why I was my plan got ripped like that as it wasn’t that bad and I really thought I had a functioning plan. Thanks for the offer, but no.

When I walked out of the room, I literally saw the grading rubric on the table there were parts of the OPORD as marked as “0” with the comments of such and such diagram isn’t there, but I hadn’t gotten the opportunity to present it but I definitely had it. Also, all I can say is that I had reason to believe that this was a foregone conclusion. I could have heard what I heard out of context, but given the circumstances, I was not happy.

After all that shit, I had zero desire to help my platoon by being a body in the somebody’s training exercise. One of the senior NCO’s asked me about why I dropped the course and I was like “In the Army, You Get what you get” See yaa……” I’m not getting into all the things that happened around this time, but a couple things happened that I felt were “personal” and should have been responded with “explain yourself right now so there isn’t misinterpretation of what just happened”

While I was so disappointed in fulfilling my expectation of getting dropped on OPORDs, going to Bliss was next or so I thought. I ended up getting roped into doing this three week project that was this simulated battle where it was someones great idea to get a people to sit at a computer, and essentially act as a platoon leader or captain would in battle and have some input while the computer ran the simulation of the battle using different types of platforms and rounds. If only it worked like that.

I swear the Army canceled production of the vehicle we were simulating on the computer like during the 3 week course, and it was basically us calling up civilians to make corrections or run a different formation. We were just watching the screen most of the time. It went from being potentially nerve racking working with a unit from the 82nd to the captain just telling us literal war stories about their recent deployment to Iraq. Honestly it wasn’t pointless as was informative and getting an opportunity to hear from a unit in the 82nd that was doing high speed stuff. One of the guys was telling us, the LT’s, let’s say characteristics/things he did in Afghanistan and we were just like, cool shit because it was. But it wasn’t until I was sitting in a sauna in Korea a year later was this guy talking about the difference of Black/White SOF and all the things they can do did I out two and two together and I was like…woah I think we rubbed shoulders with someone in Black SOF. But in a weird way, it was kind of worth staying. The commanding general, which is a two star, got briefed by the captains of the results and what they learned. Me and the other lieutenant were just filler but it was cool to be in the room.

So that ends, and I am finally out of excuses to stick around Fort Benning. Not only do I not have anything left to do, but they were making blackbird LT’s (post ABOLC) meet like three times on base just to make people leave…or something. One day the formation was just going through the motion for morning formation….aaaand HUT!..... and a Major comes out and started screaming at us how war was cyclical and one day we see somebody bleed out in front us and we would have to be ready. True, but it was a wake up call at 0815 in the morning to hear it. That was also my cue to leave even though I didn’t really want to as it is a pain to pack and outprocess. Like it’s a hassle especially if you are all by yourself. But I did. My dad ended up coming down, driving with me and it actually helped. It was an 18 hour drive to El Paso, and what did I tell you? I showed up on June 1 2022 as expected.

EL PASO OR BUST

⚠️ Travel Advisory Warning ⚠️

So I made it to El Paso taking stops at Austin, TX and New Orleans LA. I showed in breach of Article 70.1 (joke) which stipulated that you have to drive during PCS move in uniform. I showed up in short running shorts, some shades and I was excited to be there. I understand to feel emotion is odd while in the Army, but to go West and get out and finally get out of training/school disappointment was definitely something I was anticipating. I was still a little angry/sad about failing SLC as I remember telling somebody-I forget who-that I had failed. It was on the top of my mind, and I remember telling my mom about the interaction and she was like maybeee, you should keep somethings to yourself 😭.

So around the time I’m moving into my apartment, I actually super randomly bumped into a female LT at Target who was at OCS with me. We weren’t in the same platoon, I didn’t really expect her to know me, I recognized her because she was hot 😂 but I said hey, and she seemed to have recognized me. To me, things were actually picking up. Man, I got my hopes up. Important lesson to learn is that all the hot female officers are married. Don’t even bother.

But yea, she was hot 😍😍😍😍

😂

What excitement was generated from moving quickly gave way to like day to Army life. Right off the rip, it got really depressing. Somebody committed suicide and as being part of an unassigned platoon leader on staff I had to go to the funeral. The suicide demonstrated the impact it can have on a military unit, as it got really depressing and cast a ripple throughout the unit and his family. Other than that nothing really happened. Two weeks in we got out in the field, and- hey in my defense- we had this weird surge in LT’s where 4 of us came at the same time (I was first). Oh wait wait wait, to rewind this a little bit the first day I showed up there was another LT who was in the same OCS class as me and I was like hey so and so and she pretended that she didn’t know who I was. She definitely did and that was weird. Not a good sign, and who knows why that happened. Anyways, so we go to the field and there are 6 of us and there are limited tasks with that many people. So that’s when I got a reassigned to monitoring the comms in the day to night from 2100 to like 0900. In this training event, aint shit happening those times. Like there was literally nobody in the tent besides myself with like the random visit from the XO and the desert was freezing at night. One night a tarantula came in the tent at like 0200 in the morning and its me and the XO trying to like shoo the tarantula out of the tent. It disappears into the night and I don’t think anybody woke up with a tarantula on their face so all good.

At this moment, it just odd vibes, nothing concrete. And then when we got back, I reassigned to S1 which was/is HR. I initially like what the fuck? All the people w/ my MOS and rank stayed in planning. So I was like whyyyy. But S1 was a different dynamic, the section had three or four enlisted soldiers and with it being pre-NTC it was busy with doing all the work for that and then everyday processing shit. I had a bigger role than I had while in the planning section and who knows how people thought I did. But both my and my predecessor left it better than we had found it and so hey we couldn’t have that bad of leaders.

During my time in S1, two lieutenants went down to platoons as PL’s and I wasn’t too thrilled. I was busy, but I don’t think anybody likes getting passed up. I even sent one of the other LT’s a head explosion emoji which pretty summed up my emotion towards everything but what could I do? I was basically the assistant S1 who was working on the floor with the enlisted guys. So NTC comes and it is a bitch. I cant really explain it but its 30 days of training and being out the desert. The brigade is out there because of the upcoming rotation in Korea and you have to get qualified that you know your shit. It was long and boring. But I will tell one story.

Since I was still at that time in S1, I got assigned to stay with a group of Brigade Level S1 folk. We weren’t assigned shit for some reason and for 30 days we just chilled. I read ¾ of Max Hastings “Vietnam” which was like 700 pages or some shit, but I digress as this story isn’t about just fucking around in the desert for 30 days under a camo net telling random stories or ranking our Top 5 rappers of all time. (Jay-Z clocked in #1 for me) ANYWAYS, since I wasn’t enlisted and was just some random fuck, the SFC had zero problem with me coming in and out. I wasn’t his responsibility. I would just go find our S3 tent and just fuck around with the other LT’s or like find something to do. But one day, I’m actually in the middle of a conversation with another LT, I leave the tent as if I was going to come back and finish my thought but instead head to where the S1 faction is grouped at. Bad idea. I make it maybe a mile? And it started to get dark. I realize that I wasn’t going to make it, and I cant find the S3 tent. Its like a buried in some ravine, making it not discernable if you just looked straight ahead. Great tactical position, but then I was like FUCK.

Luckily, I am not completely shit of luck because as soon as night hits, BDE turns into a city of lights so I know the direction to go. Before I make it there, I’m hiding in the bushes as vehicles past me on the road, not so much as to avoid confrontation but to avoid an awkward conversation of nothing here to see but yea I got lost. At this point in time, nobody is tracking me. Im not in S3, Nobody’s tracking me in S1 and I while I got back to BDE, it’s a big space. So I’m walking around and finally I’m like “I don’t want to this but it seems like time”. So I walk into a unit and Im like hey I’m so and so from this unit and I got lost. I’m an idiot, is their anyway you can message them? Well there is, and they did but no one comes to get me. So I’m like alright, I’m out, Ill find something/somewhere. I find this marked off section where people are sleeping and I sneak in like the far top corner and hoping people don’t see me. They do, they walk up to me and were kind of like what the fuck? I told them what happened and they were like oh. Its like that scene in Space Jam where Stan Podolak is trying to dig his way into Toon Town or wherever the fuck the Looney Tunes live and people come up to him on the golf course and theyre like what are you doing? And he responds, fixing a divot. HES FIXING A DIVOT.

So they leave me alone and at like 0300 in the morning, a JLTV which is this massive warthog of a vehicle flys into the base and its really close not just to me, but to other people sleeping. It was dangerous. Somebody finally gets out and walks the vehicle in but, who in the fuck was that?? Morning comes, and I finally make it back to the S1 group, who didn’t even ask where I was. It’s not the greatest anecdote to write out, but I cant understate the chain of very dumb decisions.

So 30 days come and go and finally we get back. I’m pretty much useless at this point of being in S1 because they had brought me on to be basically a trackerbitch for NTC and I have no idea what a real S1 would do or what the fuck people were doing. The old boss leaves, and there this two month lull where everyone is looking at me and I’m like man I don’t fucking know. This isn’t my shit. I start to learn the ropes, kind of, but not really. A new guy comes in and to this day don’t really get how hes this comfortable because like immediately he comes in and starts moving things around, and what I was/still am confused about was how people got that sense of confidence going into a position. Like he just acted like he knew everything when there was no way he knew what was going on. Army schools familiarized you with stuff, but you still were like uhhh, I have no idea what to do. Anyways, so he comes in and I get moved out. I think you can get a sense of cause and effect and why I just said the things the way I said them.

I switch over back to the planning side of headquarters and it wasn’t that bad. There were 3 others LTs in the shop and it was just good to have people to fuck around with and maybe do a random piece of work. Before when I had to act as the temporary S1 head I had to go to the “work syncs” that were talking pre-PT at 0600 meaning that I had to wake up at 0430 since I lived on West side of El Paso. Now, I could actually sleep. What else can I say? October-March 2021 was a blur in the worst way possible.

At work it was all boring stuff and I wasn’t doing shit on the weekends. For whatever reason, I had got a tip from the old S1 that I might be going down as a platoon leader, as we go into Korea, and suddenly gotten motivated to fix an open wound that I had on my back. So instead of going to Korea on time, I stayed behind to get my wound fixed. It was miserable, boring and sadly only delayed the inevitable of having to leave.

i woke up from surgery lying on my stomach and i was like fuck, people saw me naked and i wasnt ready. so i grab these pillows and hugged them every time the nurses walked in. who knows what they were thinking LMAOOOO. but they did offer me to stay another day in the hospital so it couldnt of been too weird.

But looking back, the surgery was free and it finally solved an open wound on my lower back that I had to deal with by sticking tissues down my back. Yes, it looks like like what it sounds like. I even one time was like hey man, you want to see this? I pull all my Kleenex tissues from my back and sadly, it was the one time the wound wasn’t gushing blood, it was like a thin line of puss. So much for conceptual Art. (The surgery came at the cost of taking a chunk out of my butt but fair enough). I waited around my apartment, got fat by lying around and sadly only delayed the inevitable of having to leave to go to Korea.

The day finally comes, I packed all my things in my car, dropped it off at a public storage center and fly out of El Paso to Seattle.* Got off and found out that our connecting flight was missing a piece and it was going to delayed until the next morning. With this being COVID-19 times, this causes a problem. South Korea is requiring a negative test as of the last 24 hours, and well it kicks back the timeline of the last time we had taken a shot. We have to go to immediately to a private testing facility right outside Seattle International that charges us $200. We have to all in a group walk there in our OCP’s and it’s the worst. Having to be in public in your OCP’s is.the.worst. So we do that and we all have to then walk to the Marriot Doubletree. We have like 8 hours or something before we have to catch our flight and I take a cab into downtown Seattle trying to find a fresh set of clothes. I’m walking around in half OCP bottoms since I have no clean clothes, and 9 times out 10, that guy a little ehhh. Nope, I just missed a connecting flight. Somebody even thanked me for my service. I run around the hotel looking for a washer/dryer and finally get some food.

Get back to my room, almost miss the van getting us back to the Airport, -which was a long drive, so I have no idea how we managed to walk- and then finally go through the long process of getting back onto that military flight. A funny side story is there a guy who I think has a semi resemblance to Mark Kelly going to Korea with us and I walk up to him and I go hey man, has anyone ever told you you look like Mark Kelly? He laughs real hard because Im sure it isn’t the first time someone has said that, but it turns out hes a CW5 pilot on deployment with another unit to Korea. I don’t think it was, but it was an all around coincidence because he was just this random guy hanging around and CW5’s are unicorns in of themselves . It’s a long flight, takes a detour in Japan, and then we finally stop in Osan Air Force Base in Korea. We go through this brief, we get on a bus and finally make it to Camp Humphrey’s.

I don’t know if it was a planned event or the fun got banned, but the day I got to the barracks and I was getting housing, people were outside playing sports, having fun. Bases aren’t exactly known for their vibrant campuses, so I was definitely enthused that there was some pulse at Camp Humphrey’s. With it being said, I never saw it again. It was a one time deal where the people disappeared and nights would revert to emptiness. I always wondered what happened, whether it was an outgoing units last day, special event or the fun just got banned. In terms of work, it was the same old shit. All the other LT’s that I was working with had gone down to be PL’s and because I had stayed behind I was still stuck in headquarters. Stuck doing the same old work, in Korea. One random day as I’m trying to build a battalion size run for, the S3 who lets objectively 😊 call White Man with a 1000 Dreams- pops his head in says that they are going to interview me for a PL position in another unit and I was going to meet with the Battallion Commander.

Honestly, right off the rip I don’t like this. For whatever reason my first instinct its like a disciplinary thing. As soon as White Man leaves, I ask the captain whose I’m in the office of, Am I in trouble? It was so out of left field getting moved that I was like huh? From one perspective you could be like No, they are just moving you, but that wasn’t what like the feeling in the air. It felt inorganic and I was what is really going on? So I meet with him and he is basicalls yeah all long as its fine with your current BC, your good. So I meet with my current BC, and here is when things get to start to get real interesting. He tells me straight up “I just don’t have a spot for you” I put this this in quotes because I remember that REAL GOOD. I was definitely thinking to myself WHAT?

But I kept my composure because the last time I said something reactionary was when I overheard White Man tell another LT that she what next for a PL position and this was the third time I was getting passed over. So back then I went into his office and I was like, can I move units if your going to continue to pass me over? And the major goes “your crazy!” I was like huh? Like crazy that I am getting passed over and I’m misreading this situation or like I have a mental condition? Who knows. So this time, I intentionally try to be level headed and I was like hey, there is a perception that I was getting passed over. The only other thing that I remember else from the conversation was that the document needed to get signed to officially make me move units had already been signed and delivered. Which was weird because it takes a half a second to do it, and my current BC was like yeah its already been processed, -struck me as odd as it was done quickly-.

From a generic perspective, all I was doing was moving one unit to another into another to fill an open spot. Got it. But from a human perspective, to be dismissed like that got me angry. Like I said before, I was waking up at 0430 and leaving the office in El Paso at 1730. Fort Bliss isn’t in El Paso proper so you’d would be just walking outside in to a dark desert in which the desert seemed to just keep GOING in this vastness and then finally hit a mountain, and the parking lot was completely empty with the exception of the command-level staff. I was coming home to nothing and everybody else had there own lives so I was just doing nothing. (El Paso does have a Dave and Busters and I discovered that too late) It was miserable. And I was working.

Is this the part where I go, oh I was a bad person and I deserved getting fucked over. No, I’ll save that for later. The only thing that I will say that will America doesn’t owe me or anything but the foundation of the military is bureaucratic/merocratic (apparently that’s not a real word but what I mean is “of meritocracy”) to avoid this shit.

So anyways, within a span of like 1-2 days, the company commander of the company that I’m moving into calls me up out of the blue and he asks me if I was moving over right then. I was like uhhh can you hold on, I have things I need to finish up in the unit. O wait, as I write this, I remember the LTC saying to me hey, don’t move over until you finish everything here (that’s why I didn’t immediately move over) and he said to me, Oh, I’m not going to be here until Friday which was like two or three days. That seemed long to wait for me so I was like fine, I can pass these projects to someone else. As soon I said that, he was basically like great. We are going to a range and ill see you at whenever at the gate. Not only am I like uhh I don’t know really where you guys are//I don’t really know who youuuu (as this was at Campy Humphreys and everything was everywhere and like this day one in a complete new unit), I am not prepared. My complete room was a complete mess and I am chucking random Army shit into my ruck sack.

So I get there, hey Im the new PL, and it like blew their minds that my rucksack wasn’t at Armor standard. For sure, man. Get there, qualify which knowing my history on weapons I was like first day and I was like, PHEW. Its day one and I am already dodging bullets. The one thing that I thought was cool was that we are miles from the DMZ. (Theoretically, everybody is miles from the DMZ, but we like had to I was at could be quantified in single digits and are those are real anti-tank obstacles? lmao) North Korea, that shit wasn’t fireworks you heard. So we get back, and we are doing a battalion size run for PT come that Monday. The reason I mention this is that then Monday rolls around, it is pouring rain. Like absolutely pouring.

We are the only battalion out in PT as again, it is pouring rain. We run about 1.35 miles?, something specific for what I think is the Army’s birthday, and it finally stops probably stops midway through the run. After the run we have to do burpees and pushups and all of sudden the weather changes on a dime. Korea has all these microclimates where it gets rainy and then nasty humid and that day was one of those days. It got gross, we were still soaking wet from the rain and the reason I mention this is that this contributed to me leaving the Army. Fuck this shit. Why nobody could of canceled and the show had to go on is beside me. I made the joke that we were in an Infantry Battalion and it forged character, which could have been true but I doubt it. I was just like I am out man, I like getting paid but I don’t need to be completely miserable. But there I was just starting my PL time and what could I do about. And to keep it short and wrap it succinctly without having to spend to much time, my PL time wound up being short and ineffective. I didn’t know what to do, got screamed at by the company commander for everything, not even things that were my fault and I was hating my life even more that I had been while I was up on staff. I had heard that a female LT had popped her head in for a brief couple of days and went down to be a PL in my old unit and I was like what the fuck? I took it really personal and that was the nail in the coffin in my mind that I was getting fucked over. When I got down to the new unit, I couldn’t help but feel that I was getting treated like left over tuna that was left out overnight. One of the LT’s was leaving and couldn’t help but feel like they needed somebody, anybody, any to fill a void. You know who fits that description, by golly, Lieutenant Reilly fits that description. What void I filled I’m not positive because I felt completely useless during my time. And things were completely weird down there. I was totally on edge on around the company commander. (Before coming in, I spoke to another Platoon Leader who was down there and he told me that (the company commander) “he screams”. Oh great. Im pretty sure that LT’s parents were English and I got a little chuckle though thinking that this might be the first time the English were getting bullied by the Vietnamese.) It was just tense, I6 don’t really know how to explain. My perception around him was like, what the fuck. Is going on. He would scream at you for things that were not your fault and I felt the behavior was disproportional (like noticeably). And then literally the next conversation he would be in a completely different mood. The last time I spoke to him he was giggling. What the FUCK.

One time that demonstrates this off the wall behavior was when he asked me to stay behind and get something done after work concluded. I needed to get it done on a computer and I personally didn’t have internet. (To explain to people, getting internet in the military a little different then HEY MA! whats the wifi password for ArmyIT? No, like you have to get hooked in and you have to do all these training programs saying your not going to click on the hyperlink to cccp.com and then it goes back to your IT guy. It being Korea, we had to all over again, and I was like fuck it Im not doing that hassle when I got there. And don’t worry, I could still get internet, a West Virginian told me)

Get in the choppa!!! 🎥 sorry I had to do it

So I need my computer, my charger is back in the barracks so once we sign off for the day I head that way towards the barracks and the company commander sees me walk away as he told me to stay and starts to straight scream at me. (If you think I was using getting a charger to get the fuck out of that situation, you could very well reading my subconcious Like he was screaming at me FUCK MEE! On the top of his lungs and I was taken aback because I already weirded out by the guy and didn’t want to be there. It was in an isolated motorpool, and then I saw the 1SG walk by at one point. The second time ever in the military wanted to be just like, I don’t need the GI Bill that badly. I quit. (the first time was guess what somebody screaming right in my face as Im in the position of attention, to ironically, get in the position of attention).Not only did this bother me being treated like this but I also irritated because while some people in the Army are tough, others are “Army Tough”. I know you wouldn’t act that way if we were two people changing lanes 🎥or walking in/out of CVS, so why do it now? The answer is because people think (correctly) that they can get away with being a complete jerk in the military. There is no quality of being demanding, pressurizing or leading present, its just being a jerk. Its flat out mean and if you say something to a higher up, the attitude is awwww, so sad. But then that attitude comes at the expense at bending the Army Values. Like you do have to be respectful of people. Right?

So whatever, another day to everybody else but I’m honestly hating this shit. Two weeks later or so we go to tank qualification waaay up north and personally I didn’t feel ready to shoot live fire tanks as I had minimal time to practice and prepare but this being the Army, you never are, and you just gotta find a way to roll.

At this point, my head isn’t in the game. I’m upset about not just about moving to a different position in a different unit on a different continent, but the way everything is going in the company. So we get there and it is just shit. The weather is fucking awful. Like one day its 0500 in the morning, it raining pretty well and we have to take the tarps off the tanks, do all this shit right before we start shooting. It was wet and nasty. People in my familys group chat are dropping photos off themselves on vacation and im bro, bad timing. The day turns to super sunny, so its moist, hot and all around just shit. I end up getting a really bad burn. And I was just like I’m miserable lmao.

So something internally flips. I don’t know why it happened it went from just being miserable to like I need to flex out to talk with someone now about everything. I text a captain in Brigade Legal, and just unload on him (or who I thought was Brigade Legal, and if I was not speaking to Legal, that would have even weirder) So I kind of just unload via text my thoughts on this whole situation. It probably came off as a psychotic break from reality, but I was just at the time trying to convey my thoughts that are right at the forefront and wrapped in emotion. It could have been communicated better, but as we were in Korea I had no means to walk in to somebody aand be like what the fuck?

The captain told he couldn’t legally speak to me as he represented command, and I was like who can I speak to if I have an issue as soldier. This had completely everything with the Battalion Commanders, I wasn’t exactly going to go into their office and be like, hey I have problem with you guys, time to chat? He said speak to some legal services, but I am telling you, there wasn’t anyway to get in contact with Legal while in Korea. I was going on Facebook trying to their number, asking people where I would go and people just didn’t know.

So I tell him the story, and the day after I meet with the LTC and we have an awkward sit down and I get pulled from being a PL. So I left with the CSM and the Chaplain and it was just crushing. I get if you send a text message to Legal with such emotion and force, people are going to question if you are in the right mindset to shoot live fire tanks. Got it. But I know for a fact people were speading rumors that I had gotten fired -this all occured within the span of 6 weeks so are you positive?- because I would play poker with a bunch of guys in my old unit and somebody made a passing remark of that I had gotten fired, and I was like whaaaat? In my conversation with the LTC, he told me I wasn’t being fired. I don’t think people knew the full story of why I was in a PL spot one minute and being sent back onto to staff the next but whatever. I was actually operating under the assumption that nobody outside of the unit, hell nobody outside the company was tracking me getting taken off.

So I did know that people were tracking, I did know that it looked very odd and I was like oh, fuck. But to reiterate I was upset how I was handled and treated, and while I regret the method of addressing the issue, I don’t regret saying something. It struck me as complete BS the way they handled it, and something compelled me to make a comment and I did. Did it trip me up in terms of staying on as PL? That’s a question I ask the reader.

CONOR GOES BACK TO STAFF

So I wind up going initially to S3 -which and I didn’t take it like anybody was tracking the 6 week debacle that was my PL time. It was awkward running into people from my old unit in the cafeteria and around the footprint but there wasn’t really much to be done about it. I would just say hey, and move on. Pretend that all was well. It was just shitty. One time I ran into my Gunner and I felt so bad. I thought that he wasnt able to shoot Gunnery because of me getting pulled. I even apologized, said sorry for my shit affecting you and asked him he had weapons, because I was going to buy him one in lieu of missing Gunnery. Gunnery which is Tank Qualification is a big event in the Armor world because it doesn’t come around that often due to logistics and cost. So missing one is would be complete shit so I really was thinking of buying him like $750 glock just to somewhat make up for. (Don’t worry, in the State of Texas, this is legal I looked it up) But then, I heard all he did was move tanks and didn’t miss a beat. It was kind of odd as it seemed pretty seamless and I was just like, oh.

Things were briefly just going. Then all of a sudden I got moved sections from S3 to S4. Here things get again noticeable puzzling. Two black LT’s come in to the S3 shop and right as that happens, I get moved to S4. Even though nobody's reading this, I'm trying to write to explain where I'm coming from. I honestly felt like I was being treated like a child*, and I had only been in the section for two weeks.

I’m dead serious when I say this. The section head was a 32? 33? year old man talking to me, who was a 31 year old man at the time, ‘Now Conor what are going to get when we pass the room inspection (We had a room inspection for barracks as we moved out of Korea) Like huh?

If that doesn’t convince you that it wasn’t a Random Walk Down Wall Street 📖 I don’t know what would, honestly. What it was all about? Who knows….maybe somebody does 🤷‍♂️ moving on….

Why do I say this? Because the head of the S4 is English, the head NCO is Jamaican and for a very brief time there was a person of African descent. (While again, at this point my family has assimilated into America ((finally)) I guess I can play the role of the Irish Catholic.). Why do I bring this up? Well, at one time all three ethnic groups were used as slaves by the English. Like I'm serious. If you want me to cite my findings, sure I’ll give more cringeworthy examples of what the Army lets happen. Slavery isn’t funny but the whole thing was laughably bad. C’mon Dog. I’m looking at the Jamaican NCO and being like is she looking at it the way I’m looking at this? Who knows, either way she did not seem to give a FUCK. Only in the United Nations U.S. Army. I would eventually get rated as “Standard Excess” which is trash.

I got rated as trash even though I was doing all this shit for the section. On several occasions I walked 10 miles! Back and forth from HQ to the motorpool having to get various vehicles moved, inventory property, whatever and what I got for rated/evaluated for was the position of trash. I was going to make the quip, well it looks like I’m working myself up! (from the slave section to trash) but that meeting between me and the section head never happened. It becomes very clear that this bubble that I’m in isn’t going to reward performance. I understand it sounds overdramatic or juvenile, but it was true.

“I don’t have friends, I have family”-Dom Toretto

The question remains what the fuck was it about. There was a white LT (not me) who dropped a “racial slur” (in context he was repeating what somebody else had said and was getting kicked out of the Army for -but still direct animus-) and they went to a Platoon Leader. They have been LT’s guilty of war committing war crimes in Iraq and obviously had been in the role of PL. Why am I getting the Old Maid? And heres the thing. I once read this article what HR does and its this thing called “calibration meetings”. Its HR’s way of justifying politics in the workplace. Literally one of the lines in the article is to “identify your voters”. Its politics, people vote. I have no idea what the exact process was in the Army but it has been described as “behind-the-scenes”. Really, guys.

So I’m headed out of El Paso and my next destination is Fort Benning. I met with the LTC he gave me the options of going back to Columbus, GA to be a PL at Armor OSUT or basically try my luck in another brigade in Fort Bliss. That option wasn’t too enticing as I am pretty sure a captain in my old unit had walked into our unit under similar conditions and he. Got. Fucked. That, and a NCO that was in my old unit who I stayed in contact with convinced me that MG’s talked to each other (he was one) and that it was just better to start fresh at another base. So I had picked that option, but I realized as an officer, I wouldn’t be doing fuck at a place where newly enlisted Armor soldiers were coming through.

So at the last minute I was like woah woah wait and pulled out my network to get in touch with the Brigade Commander. (The moment I realized I was the only one not running for office, I started pulling out some moves.) But it was too late. During the conference call, the COL was super friendly kind of like too friendly as like I had a real reason to speak with him, he spent a large amount of the meeting kind of asking my backstory and stuff. He even asked my why I chose to go to the University of San Francisco. (It was religion affiliation, but I cant tell you how badly I wanted to make it SO awkward and be like yea, Im gay) Ladies all im saying is that it could have been a joke. But my camera didn’t work so it was him talking to a blank screen so I felt bad in the first place and I couldn’t make the joke. I really don't need a Colonel being like -LT Reilly thinks he can fuck with me huh- in my life. So long story short, he said he would look into it, but I really do get it, it wasn’t exactly his first priority.

I didn’t put USF on the map, Bill Russell, K.C. Jones, Pete Rozelle did that!

So I’m out. In what was par for my entire Army experience, I leave El Paso in the most unceremoniously* way over. The new section head would give me a random call as I got to Fort Benning-Moore-Benning which I will count as human acknowledgement but I didn’t even a PCS AAM which is just a small award that goes on your career tracker, and is basically a formality for people leaving the unit. To me it wasn’t a big deal but even the S1 NCO was like damn your captain didn’t do you a solid. “Whatever”.

I wouldn’t say that the unit didn’t give a fuck, because I really do feel like they did me a favor bringing me over and trying to get me an opening but, why my whole thing was I was unfairly getting a last second, cant-find-a-PL role?. Whatever. And that’s the last time Ill waste time on it. See yaaaa.

The road trip back to Columbus wasn’t as depressing as I thought it was going to be, my game plan was to play music and then do apple music karaoke the entire trip. While driving. It lasted one song lmao. I was literally driving off the side of the road trying to sing to Billy Joel lyrics. I stopped in San Antonio, drove through Houston, caught a t-shirt at the Pelicans game in NOLA, baby and finally made it to Columbus, GA.

Supply Side Economics, Google Chrome, SNAPPLE, Detroit, MI, Route 66,Wal-Mart, the Statue of Liberty, the Dream Team, Federalism, those boys at Juno, Illmatic, Tampa 2, and Fury Co.

So I was back in Columbus. Somehow somebody I knew from ABOLC had caught wind of me coming back to Armor OSUT where he was already at and offered to live in a place that he had bought when he got back there. Right off the rip, things were weird. I understand that I keep going this dude was weird, that dude was weird. But it was a weird experience. Like if you told me everyone the entire time thought I was an 18 year girl, I’d be like huh that makes sense (For most it)

So I show up, and no I don’t think I was renting the entire house, but the room the guy gave me live in was probably meant to be used as a small storage space. I was just like oh. It was sorta funny (the joke was on me) because the room they were using as a storage unit was actually bigger then my room I was renting out for $1000 a month. No joke, some people will take your $25 gift card you got as birthday gift if you let them. He even tried to float the idea of signing a 12 month lease for the stay. No, man. What finally did it for me was that the guy had a Ring Alarm on his house and every single time you went in he would start a chat with you. I was just like yeaah, I think I want to get out. So I move out and I timed It just right that I scooped up an apartment that I felt had an awkward date to move in (IMO)

Back at work, I was doing what I thought I was going to be doing which wasn’t that much. I would come in, ask the acting company commander if he needed something from me and sometimes he would, sometimes he wouldn’t. I would be like ok, I’ll just go fuck myself check my Army e-mail.

It was pretty low speed, and I couldn’t complain. It was the easiest money I was going to make while in the Army so for the time being I was going to stick around. I had start taking flight lessons at the local airport because I initially put in a packet to be conditionally released while in El Paso and I wanted to move over to become a pilot in the military but because of my age, the selection process and all the variables that came along with it, it didn’t look like it was going to happen. So the current path I set myself on was to go to either Ohio State or Auburn and go through their undergraduate Aviation program.

But in order to be eligible I had to get my PPL first and then get paid through VA benefits. So that was something to do. But the vast majority of my time was just fucking around. I wasn’t being asked to do that much and on top of that, I was really asking myself like why I should be leaving late especially when it didn’t seem to matter much of how much you were actually doing. (This is where supply side economics and behavioral economics comes in. The way I saw it, was why should I break my back for something that didn’t seem to matter much in determining anything? The last two stops told me told me pretty much that the decision making was arbitrary at best and I wasn’t too convinced that this was going to be any different. If the U.S. Government is taxing you at 100%, theres no incentive to produce something, anything. What rates am I willing to get get taxed at? I want Donald Trump rates (Hint: it’s less than yours, keyword [ loophole]😂😂😂

Am I reading into things? Maybe. But I wasnt going to believe that staying late and getting up early especially at Fort Moore changed anything.) You can call it a bad attitude or me names, but if your not going to honor performance then we are at this odd impasse where nobody is going to buckle. 😉

But other than that, there isnt much to say, much less write about. I put in my packet, collected the signatures and set a terminate date of August 19. 2024. I got kicked out of B. Co for who knows what reason -they claimed they started counting the days I wasn’t coming in- but honestly I didn’t care, nor was I going to start after “the fuckery at Fort Bliss.” I really didn’t. One time, I got counseled for “conduct unbecoming for an officer”. While I genuinely didn’t have any clue for what I was getting written up for, it sounded serious and instead of protesting it, I just signed it and kind of shrugged my shoulders and probably went home (before stopping at Marco’s Pizza) . I never would hear anything about it ever again. I moved over to F. Co, and for whatever reason, the closer my date came the more work I got*. Oh, Army.

And then my day finally came. I was literally driving 25 minutes back and forth from battalion HQ to outprocessing as they kept going your missing this document and that signature, and it was so maddening. I think one of the very last signatures I had to get the guy was like, are you new to the unit? No, I’ve been here for a year and a half, LMAO. Ok, Ill stop you if you stop. But then I got it! I got my DD214 officially stating all the schools and awards I had graduated and gotten. The lady processing the document was mad funny, she like this is it? Like, that’s all your schools you went to? Yup.

✌️hasta pronto Columbus. Keep it locked down 😂 WTVM!!

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

So I was out. I drove out the main gate of Fort Moore, called my parents letting them know that I was semi-officially a civilian, and thanked them for the help. If I had to pick one word that would encapsulate my time in the Army it would be disappointment. 5 years later, where exactly was I? I was now back to being jobless and while I had gotten into Auburn, and then game plan was to fly on the GI Bill, I wasn’t exactly confident that it was going to work. Be 33 and go back to undergrad school? Bold, if that. And was I even in the program? But that was the plan. But in the meantime, I had about month before anything started, so I drove to upstate New York, came back home and got ready to move out to Opelika, AL which was like 15 minutes from Auburn’s campus. So I get there and it worst than "oh". The apartment hasn’t been fully cleaned out, theres boot imprints everywhere, theres something that looks like a ac unit with a pool of water under it, that hadnt been moved out and I was like, this sucks. I’m a positive guy and moved in and out of apartments because of the Army but this was a no-go.

So school starts. Its been a hot minute since I was last in college but I honestly for some reason I was confused what to do. I saw my schedule and I was just like so I just show up to Lowder Hall on August 19th? You just show up. Ok. I had Econ, Business Writing, Aviation 100 where I learned a whole lot of interesting trivia and Im trying to think what the fourth one was oh yeah, an Accounting 2810. A mix. I cant really say anything bad about the campus. I mean its hard to complain about warm weather, SEC football, and southern girls (Auburn girls wear skirts/their mamas raise ‘em right*)

The Econ Professor would do this intro right before class kind of like to get things started and one time he was like “Ladies, some of y’all wear skirts like you are going to a tennis match” 😆😆😆

But like all bad plans, it just quickly fell apart. I had found out in July that I didn’t get into the Pro Flight program and well, that was my excuse for going back to school and….nvm. It just got to the point where I was like fuckk what to do. If I stayed any longer I would have to had pay fraternity dues* all this stuff so I just the cord three weeks into school. The day I withdrew I honestly felt some emotional withdraw as I it went going from a big school and big dreams back to uncertainty. So I just sat around, watched TV, watched my bank account get fucked* and waited for trade school to start.

Fuck.

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