agentmothmanstrikesagain - Tumblr blog

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[leaves raw un-cracked eggs in random corners of your house for you to find randomly]

The hell dude? now the whole place's gonna smell like rotten eggs. Sobbing

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[leaves an mlp cum jar under your bed WITH THE LID OFF]

Why do you feel the need to torment me like this Dib?

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Day 7 of being awake and conscious.

I am starting to go insane from not being able to feel my legs. It’s like I still think they’re there, until I go to move whats left of them and feel nothing. It’s like the universe is gaslighting me but physically.

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A sudden Guardians of the Galaxy crossover because I think this scene suits them

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Mans is neutered…. They took his boypussy pouch….

no Way they got gir in the Post Surgery Cat Onesie

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What is his fucking problem like actually

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[sitting with his ipad and learning proper human sign language because he only knows irken-antennae sign language and didn’t think he’d ever be in a position where he’d go mute and need to communicate with his hands]

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A very generously large gift basket is brought in for Dib. There’s snacks, a hand held gaming console and several games, all set among an array of flowers, including pink and purple hibiscus, red roses, and tulips. A note is attached written in deep magenta ink.

“I am going to find the people who did this to you and tear them into microscopic pieces before launching them into the nearest star. I am glad you are home safe. I will come visit you as soon as I can if it’s alright with Her Highness. I wish you a gentle recovery. Do not push yourself I will know. - Tallest Zim.”

Dib wasn’t particularly taken aback by the flowers. It wasn’t unusual to receive them from friends or family during rough times, especially when bedridden in a hospital. However the choice of flowers themselves were what first caught him off guard. Had this been intentional? 

Dib wasn’t an expert but he had a rough understanding of flowers and their symbolism, having spent plenty of time agonizing over thousands of choices with Midge when she and Dek had decided to renew their wedding vows and have a get together with everyone. Good lord… that had been forever ago hadn’t it?

Dib shook his head, trying to get back to his original train of thought. Clearly whoever had sent these flowers must not have thought the symbolism through, although Dib understood perfectly well that not everyone was obsessively and poetically well versed in the symbolic meaning of everything they could lay their eyes on. 

The hibiscus when given to a pets generally meant that someone was trying to say “I think you’re perfect.” Not only did this beautiful arrangement of flowers have hibiscuses, but there were two different colors of them…. Dib would have to look the separate color meanings up later…

Then there were of course the bright red roses. Those were incredibly obvious… Passion, love, romance…. Dib cleared his throat loudly and looked away from the roses and onto the tulips, which came in a variety of multiple colors. Loyalty… hope… royalty? True love?!? Someone clearly had their cornflakes twisted when they’d sent this…. Right??? But then… the hibiscus always had been his favorite…

Dib shook his head and sighed quietly. He needed to stop over analyzing… it was mentally exhausting him. He began to peruse the snacks in the basket and simply just enjoy the brightly colored flowers and their beautiful scent when he found the note tucked away between them all. He opened it, quickly and nervously glancing around to ensure he was alone, still wary of tricks and illusions, before he began to read.

Oh dear…. “Signed Tallest Zim” Dib mouthed the words, still unable to make a sound. 

Well…. Dib wasn’t fucking stupid. He knew Salvis when he saw it. Or maybe… maybe he was just reading too much into all this. After all, the Tallest was just a friend.. it wasn’t like they’d hung out hundreds of times… it wasn’t like Dib had cried into his arms before after finally letting go of the hope that he’d ever see his Zim again… it wasn’t like Tallest Zim was the first person to be there for him to snap him out of it when he’d gotten turned into a vicious werewolf for a week straight…. 

Dib promptly stuffed the note in his mouth in a flustered panic and fucking ate it, despite the texture and taste of paper being absolutely nut-fuck awful. He quickly bottled up every thought he’d just had neatly compartmentalized it all, and shoved it aaaaaaallll the way back in the very dankest and darkest little corners of his mind where he could never touch them again. 

But wait… he couldn’t leave his Tallest Zim without a response, that’d be so incredibly rude, and Dib didn’t want to be an ass…. But his brain was running at a million miles per hour right now, what the fuck could he even say??? After two hours of internalized mental agonizing, Dib simply and quickly scrawled “Come see me.” On a piece of paper with a hastily drawn doodle of Nebula wearing sunglasses and doing little finger guns. “Signed… Dib” he mouthed as he wrote it out at the bottom of the page. 

Yes. Truly this was an appropriate response. He’d have to ask Midge to send it in a little blue envelope for him later…. 

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ATKYO

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Peas

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NEBULA IS NOW GOING TO MAKE A POST.

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Oh my goooooddddd somebody hamburger help heeerrrrr

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It’s both definitely. Mhm. Burning boiling melting and more. I actually kinda like this… is that weird?

OOPSIES. I HAVE NO LEGS BUT MOD HAS NO BRAIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-

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**For the people asking I bought one HERE with free shipping

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@queen-of-lazuroth

Dib didn’t know where or when he was when he awoke. For the longest time he hadn’t felt like he’d even been in his own body. He remembered great pain, darkness, and blurred images here and there when he’d drifted in and out of consciousness. He remembered for a brief period of time feeling as if he were stuck in some sort of endless void, where he felt nothing, as he constantly dipped in and out of a state of life and death.

When Dib awoke, he was not fully with it on the outside or in. When he opened his eyes he simply stared blankly for the longest time, and felt nothing mentally or physically. As if a wall had been put between his spirit and the rest of him. Perhaps it was some instinctual defense mechanism, considering everything he’d been through previously… but that was neither here nor there.

In the moment, Dib simply just… was. If someone had come to check on him while he was in this state, he would not have been even slightly aware of it. It took him what felt like an eternity and only mere seconds all at once to finally and very slowly become aware and fully conscious. In reality, it was three entire days before he snapped out of that half-woken catatonic state, and the entire time his eyes had stayed open, glazed over in this far away distant thousand-yard stare.

Finally at 8:37am on the fourth day of being “awake” everything came crashing in on Dib mentally and physically, and he blinked fast as he became so suddenly and viciously aware of everything all at once. He let out a half-strangled sounding raspy yelp before passing out again and waking up a day and a half later.

Dib came to yet again, this time rapidly waking up at normal rate. He flicked his eyes open and slowly turned his head to look all around, taking in his surroundings. Where the hell was he? What time was it? What happened? Why did everything hurt? Why was his throat so dry? And why did it smell like…. A hospital?

Dib tried to sit up in the hospital bed he was in and quickly regretted it and laid back down. His back hurt like hell. How long had he been out???? He tried sitting up again to wriggle into a different position and immediately felt something was incredibly wrong. He… he couldn’t feel his legs… he couldn’t even feel anything moving in the bed when he tried to push himself up with his legs. He looked down at the sheets and his eyes widened. The sheets were flat just below his thighs.

Dib’s hands shook as he reached for the sheets and slowly pulled them off, every agonizing second felt like a horror movie in slow motion as he uncovered the two stump legs wrapped in bandages. They’d been cut just precisely above the kneecap, leaving him only with his thighs to his name. The memory of loosing them came flooding back, along with the vicious battle that took place before it had happened.

Dib gasped raspy and dry for air, as tears formed in his eyes and he began trembling and looking all around. Was he safe? Was anything he was experiencing even real? Was he still in danger? Was this all just some sick trick? He must still be here. The battle must still be ongoing.

Dib screwed his eyes shut and tried to focus and block out whatever energy was screwing with his senses. But he couldn’t feel anything. Then an even more alarming feeling crossed into his sense of awareness. He couldn't feel The Adalbat. Where was it?!?

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This is like the chemicals that turn the frogs gay, but like amped up to a 90. Also my insides are melting very rapidly.

OOPSIES. I HAVE NO LEGS BUT MOD HAS NO BRAIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-

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[eats that shit]

OOPSIES. I HAVE NO LEGS BUT MOD HAS NO BRAIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-