agentsoncrack

[agentsoncrack]

Jemma: Are you ready to commit.

Fitz: Like to a relationship or murder?

[agentsoncrack]

Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

-Fitz

[agentsoncrack]

Phil: What's the worst thing you guys have done?

Hunter: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade.

May: I kicked Mack in the shin-

Mack : -So I kicked May between the legs.

Bobbi: I burned a town down.

Phil: What?!

Mack : What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Bobbi: A lot of things.

May: No shit.

[agentsoncrack]

Daisy: Bobbi... How do I begin to explain Bobbi?

Jemma: Bobbi is flawless.

Fitz: I hear her hair is insured for $10,000 dollars.

Phil: I hear she does car commercials... In Japan.

Ward: One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.

[agentsoncrack]

Hunter: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Bobbi: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Fitz: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

[agentsoncrack]

Mack: Bobbi you have to apologise to Hunter.

Bobbi: Fine

Bobbi: ‘Unfuck you’ or whatever

[agentsoncrack]

Phil: May and I are having a baby.

Daisy: That’s great!

Phil: *slams down adoption papers* It’s you sign here.

[agentsoncrack]

Cop: You are receiving a ticket for having three people on a motorcycle.

Bobbi: Shit.

Fitz: Wait three?

Cop: Yeah?

Jemma: OH MY GOD DAISY FELL OFF

[agentsoncrack]

Daisy: Whenever I want to do something stupid I hear this voice that keeps me from doing it.

Mack: That’s Coulson.

Coulson: DAISY DO NOT PUT YOUR HAND IN THE MICROWAVE-

[agentsoncrack]

Jemma and Daisy when they were on alien LSD: I need... crack

[agentsoncrack]

Mack: Hunter can’t be that stupid.

Bobbi: Hunter doesn’t even know there’s a b in the word debt!

[agentsoncrack]

May: Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know

Jemma: I did it. I broke it.

May: No you didn’t. Daisy?

Daisy: Don’t look at me. Look at Mack!

Mack: What? I didn’t break it.

Daisy: Huh, that’s weird. How did you even know it was broken? Suspicious.

Mack: Because it’s sitting right in front of us AND ITS BROKEN!!

Fitz: I-If it matters. It probably doesn’t but Bobbi was the last one to use it.

Bobbi: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Fitz: Oh really. Then what were you doing by the coffee machine earlier??

Bobbi: I use the wood to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that.

Jemma: Ok let’s stop fighting. I’ll pay for it.

May: No, who broke it?

Hunter:...Coulsons been awfully quiet.

Phil: REALLY?!

*Everyone fighting*

May: I broke it.. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with katanas and machete guns… Good.

It was getting awfully boring in here.

(sips coffee and watches them fight)

[agentsoncrack]

I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.

- Melinda May (to Lance Hunter)

[agentsoncrack]

You know, sometimes a flaw can make something even more beautiful. Like with Cindy Crawford and how short she is.

- Bobbi Morse

[agentsoncrack]

I’m ranking my favourite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me.

- Lance Hunter