agladioluslife-blog

[agladioluslife-blog]

Imaginary

I imagine I'm okay. The truck's windows rolled down as we drove by Virginia and Tennessee. Nothing but the road and the sun in my face. Imagining that the cancer was all a dream and that the summer was all there was. There was no chemo, no drug delayed haze, no hunger for pills, and no tiredness without trying, none of that. It was all in my head.

I imagine what summer would feel like if it was here, no winter to deal with, no spring to wait for. Just summer and it's beauty with windows rolled down.

[agladioluslife-blog]

A whisper to the sky

I was exhausted and confused as to where I had gone,

I laid down and whispered to the sky,

Today you love me, tomorrow you won't know me

I'm a gladiolus flower in a field full of bees, love me forever and I'll smile with glee

For today you'll bless me, tomorrow you'll erase me

Let my nectar feed you, allow the world to fear you

For today, you'll need me, tomorrow, you'll disregard me

[agladioluslife-blog]

Where you stand is where a garden grows 🌷🌻💞

[agladioluslife-blog]

Self Realization

I woke up this morning like every other morning, tired and dreading the day ahead of me. I live alone for grad school, babygirl is with my sister (her godmother) and my mom (her gradnma) she spends her time traveling from state to state and she loves it. She understands that mommy has her own "house" and loves coming to see me but in reality my home is with her and my husband. I live about 3 hours away from both my husband and daughter and my mother. My daughter is a mommy's girl, it was only me and her for the first 2 years while my husband was deployed for 8 months at a time. I was a wife first before being a mother but once I became a mom she changed my world upside down

I gave birth my senior year of undergrad and had a c-section two weeks before school started. My husband, who was scheduled for his first deployment on the day of our birth, stayed for one night and two days. He was there when they pulled our baby out of me; he was there that night, and the next day, he had to get on a plane for Canada. I was on bed rest for one week before going to classes for school again, my mother-in-law and my own mom and sister became my village, taking care of the baby while I was at school. I would breastfeed while studying for exams, and 2 months later, I got a job after classes and would come home around 6 and still breastfeed and study.

Before my baby I had severe depression, self harm was a problem and my mindset was selfish.... I believe that God knew a baby would heal me and when I first found out I was pregnant I was scared, so scared that my life would be over but it wasn't, It had only begun. I never experienced PPD, I don't have depressive episodes anymore, my mindset wasn't about me anymore but about our daughter. What kind of life do I want to give her, what kind of life do I want her to grow up in.

I know being school away from my husband and daughter is difficult, but it's for them. These hours of grueling studying and exams they aren't just for me but it's to bring my family forward. I see my daughter every week, and I spend every moment I have free with her. This is my job as a mother; it's to be a student so I can one day teach her what I know and bring us forward in life.

[agladioluslife-blog]

A Gladiolus life: A Beginning

I write this as my first blog, I've never done anything like this before but it's something I've been wanting to do for a while. No one "blogs" anymore it's all vlogs and videos on social media but I wanted something true and authentic. I don't have the money for a fancy website but I have the time to write what I feel down somewhere. 

I started watching "Apple Cider Vinegar," and it got my blood boiling because how could someone really fake cancer to get money, lie to people, especially sick people, and get away with it? I was diagnosed with stage 1c mucinous adenocarcinoma on January 8th, 2025. In shorter words, it's ovarian cancer, and it all started with a lump in my stomach. I am also married to a navy man who serves our country bravely. With this man, I've had a wonderful daughter who will be 3 in August of 2025, while balancing motherhood to a toddler and cancer, I'm also a grad student aiming for a Master's in BioMedicine, hoping to get into medical school in the next short years. 

I wanted to share my journey with anyone who reads it and share these moments with a mom whose husband is on deployment, a grad student who feels like they're not doing enough in school, or a mom who is overwhelmed with the troubles of motherhood.