agnireed

[agnireed]

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[agnireed]

Posting again soon!

[agnireed]

THINGS UNSAID

summary 🏹 others notice what you and daryl feel for eachother but it takes longer for the connection to reach the two of you.

word count 🏹 4.8k

warnings 🏹 large age gap, side character POVs at the start, smut lol

thanks to @irisdixon1023 for the fun idea! hope i did it justice even if i changed somethings

There were plenty of events that you had found yourself in the background of throughout the apocalypse. 

You’d had to put things together at the drop of an eye because there were some questions you just didn’t ask. You didn’t need to be told the new man approaching camp was Carl’s father, evident enough by the way his mouth dropped open and Lori’s eyes flashed with hot fear and betrayal.

That unfolded in your mind exactly the same way as when you saw Shane come back from the woods with a busted nose and a manic look so intense it almost took your breath away, something cold and knowing settling in your gut but not quite strong enough for you to accuse him of planning anything. 

You never put much thought into how you might come across to somebody just observing new people you’ve met on the road that might be making their own judgements on you. The end of the world had brought one relief and that was from the constant thought about your own presentation and what a stranger might think of you. 

These already drawn conclusions were exactly the reason you were so confused with yourself for being so absorbed with why the red headed man kept glancing in your direction.

Truthly Abraham had never been somebody who bothered sugarcoating his words and pretending to be something he was not and that included being the type of person who was extremely curious about a certain dynamic he had seen unfolding in front of him.

He had only spent a few hours with you in the train car but he had managed to make a damn near solid case if he did say so himself and he was juggling with how much it was being challenged as soon as a few more bodies were thrown into the mix.

Both of you had looked worse for wear when his team found you alongside the gravely road, Glenn barely standing upright as they approached and then fully face planting the asphalt while you stared at him with a look that seemed to be a mixture of exhaustion and determination.

You kept your sentences short and sweet while Glenn was unconscious and you climbed into the back of the large truck but Abraham had a hard time being upset about your lack of manners considering you’d clearly been through hell's asshole before they had arrived. 

His plans continued to be derailed and you proved to be a serious pain in the behind but he had felt strongly enough about his people reading to assume that you were one of two things, either just a bit slow emotionally or completely in love with the man you were traveling with.

Of course he felt only a bit disgruntled when said man actually woke up and spoke only of a loving wife that he clearly would stop at nothing to find in a very large haystack but then that could explain the heartbroken look you wouldn’t stop carrying around.

It made full sense to him that you were in love with a taken man and so desperately that you were willing to risk your life to help him be happy with somebody else so he was now fully offended when he offered this idea to Glenn one night after you’d fallen asleep, just for him to laugh in his face.

Then you had been thrown into the traincar and you suddenly took on a heavy expression of grief, like you had only just now accepted you were not going to find whatever it was that you were looking for. He had figured beforehand that you had lost someone permanently but apparently you had a mission of your own. 

When the doors were opening again, this time he was happy to be an observer.

The two men entering the car looked equally as deadly as you had standing on that road side and ready to go to war for your friend's limp body and he almost pieced together they were a part of your larger group before any of you actually had turned to notice them.

Everybody tensed at the same time and then it felt like the air in the train car suddenly got much lighter. 

You’d barely looked at the bearded man that seemed to automatically capture everybody's attention first, almost like they were waiting for him to give them a command before they even processed he was standing in front of them again.

Your eyes were stuck on someone else entirely and he was happy to finally have some entertainment after being sat next to a mumbling Eugene for far too many hours. 

He didn’t need a lick of guessing to know what type of man the second was and he almost wanted to have his guard farther up if it wasn’t for the young boy beside him, peering around with big scared eyes. (Plus the fact he had come to respect you and the sight of you staring like the rugged man had hung the stars was good enough reason to relax).

The bearded man seemed to finally notice you standing there and he gave you an overwhelmingly fatherlike look, seeming like he wanted to pull you into a hug but deciding against it for reasons Abraham couldn’t quite figure out just yet.

His counterpart didn’t have the same problem and you let out a sob when he finally looked over to you, his entire tense frame melting like a little kid as he stumbled his way through the dark train car so he could fall against you.

You cradled his head like it was the single most important thing in the world and your friends around you seemed like they were suddenly walking on eggshells to avoid disturbing you and making you pull out of the emotional moment. 

First assumption was that you were related in some way but that quickly faded when he noticed the way the man had his hands low on your back, squeezing and pulling you closer and closer like he could feel you slipping through his fingers.

There was nothing overtly romantic about it and certainly not sexual, not with the way you sobbed harder seeing his bruised face and sullen expression, but it definitely was too close for comfort if you were father and daughter adjacent.

Second assumption was gone as fast as it came, absolutely not lovers judging by the way you were quick to stumble out of his grasp as soon as you noticed Maggie and Glenn watching curiously, his hands lingering but eventually having to fall back to his side once you were out of reaching distance.

You made haste to hug the young boy and distract yourself from the blatant showcase of something that most likely was a secret, both to each other and the others but possibly to yourselves.

The man didn’t take his eyes off of you the entire time you all sat there devising a plan and you sobbed like a woman scorned when they were throwing flash bangs inside the car before dragging him away, having to send a swift kick to your ribs to get you to let go of his arm.

Abraham observed a scary switch in you now that he was gone again and the small almost fragile girl from before was once again replaced with the silent and constantly armed one, all emotions stripped down to your bare bones until you were left with instinct alone. 

He kept watching your group during the days that followed the fall of Terminus, building up his strongly held opinions on each of them individually and then again in pairs and larger clumps. He couldn’t help the fact that you and Daryl struck his interest, boredom taking over for the most part although Rostia had told him he needed to get a better hobby.

It was impossible not to wonder now that he knew more about the two of you, although he’d yet to speak to your male counterpart. There was a large part of him that figured it wouldn’t end too pleasantly and he was halfway busy with sucking up to you all so you’d accompany him to the end of the line for Eugene and the cure.

So he didn’t pick a fight with the archer although he wasn’t sure you would have allowed it anyways.

You were small in size but he had managed to get a few glimpses of what you could do with rage and a blunt wooden stick alone back at Terminus so he wasn’t particularly interested in seeing how you fared with a knife

You were constantly next to Daryl and it was almost a foreign sight to see one of you without the other, a strange feeling settling over anyone whenever you’d wander in alone or the rare times he went hunting without you.

There was a glint in your eye whenever somebody talked to you, like you were ready to pounce on your own family members if you needed to just to keep the man next to you safe at all cost. He was halfway to asking Maggie if you had been like that before you were separated or if it was a new adjustment but he decided against it when he saw her fondly holding Rick’s baby.

He was finding it a bit ridiculous that there were so many moving parts in your poorly oiled machine yet it was running smoothly and, not only that, but you actually seemed to love and care about each other beyond means of survival.

Abraham decided it wasn’t any of his business anymore as soon as he ruled you and Daryl off the list of potential people who would come along on his mission, pushing you to the back of his mind to will off any distractions.

_____

Maggie had always known there was something lingering deep in you for the older man but she was quickly realizing she didn’t know the half of it apparently because the way you gripped onto him for dear life was extremely telling.

She was already surprised enough that you had practically leapt into his arms but what really struck her was how willing he was to fold over into you and meet your sobs with cries of his own.

She knew Daryl was more than what he looked like, more than what he even said most of the time but that still didn’t mean he was ever this open and vulnerable around any of them before. Even Rick sent her a thrown off look that she fought hard in the few seconds it lasted to try and understand.

Your mood had been sour for the time it took you all to find Terminus after reuniting her and Glenn but there were a thousand things she would’ve guessed as the cause of it before assuming you were mourning Daryl Dixon.

Maybe she had been blinded by her own worries and the blossoming of her love so she didn’t pay attention to the signs or maybe they were just new but they were impossible to ignore now although every one seemed to be trying their very best.

Did he always hand you your portion of food first, followed by sneaking bites of his own onto your plate when you both pretended you weren’t watching him do it?

Had it always been almost instinct that you would fall asleep next to each other, never touching but close enough to touch if you ever just reached out? She was thinking now that she wasn’t sure you slept the entire time you spent on the tracks, always awake on a watch shift when she drifted off and staring into the dying fire by the time she opened her eyes again.

Yet you seemed to have no problem drifting off with your head on Daryl’s shoulder.

When did Daryl stop flinching under your touch and since when were you so touchy anyways? Your hands were almost constantly rubbing up and down his arm or holding onto his wrist like you were stopping him from leaving except he didn’t seem to ever be going anywhere, not from you at least.

She wondered if you always looked so calm and gentle when peering up at him or if that was also a new development. She couldn’t read his gaze back down on you and she wasn’t really sure she wanted to, feeling guilty about her silent spying.

Glenn told her that it wasn’t a big deal and everybody people watched but he also denied seeing anything between the two of you so either he was lying to make her feel better or he simply wasn’t watching hard enough. 

There wasn’t anything wrong with the age difference in her mind but she still occasionally caught Rick sending the two of you glances and she almost hoped it was just his fatherly urge to protect you like he always had.

_____

You could tell something had changed between you and Daryl but you weren’t too focused on defining whatever it was. 

He had always been the number one person you paid attention to and you couldn’t stop thinking about him your entire stay at the prison but the pain of losing him and thinking it was for forever was clearly the push you needed to never let him forget this again, even though you hadn’t told him directly.

There was no way he didn’t know how you felt when you stared into his eyes and kept your hand on his chest, whispering lowly how happy you were for him to be back with you. He would have to truly be the dimmest person in the world to think your reaction to seeing him again was just a fluke or you not thinking straight. 

Daryl must be aware of how you feel because you don’t think he would risk treating you the way he did if he didn’t.

He was sweet to you and doted on you like you were already lovers and his favoritism was apparent to anybody who paid attention for more than a few minutes. He remained as gruff and abrasive as always but he let you brush the hair from his face and his tone sounded far sweeter aimed towards you.

You knew he had feelings for you and you also knew he wouldn’t let you in on that secret unless he suspected you felt similarly.

“Couldn’t even breathe.” You had found yourself outside the stuffy church together again, somewhere just off in the treeline and leaning against a thick tree stump.

His back was pressed into the bark but your own was against his chest, sat on the drying leaves between his spread legs and laying back on him, his hands resting skillfully next to your thighs so he wasn’t touching you too directly.

“Hm?” His hum was low and sweet and you noted that he sounded like he was drifting off to sleep, a light smile on your face at his abandoned defensive walls even though the topic of conversation was rather heavy.

“I pictured them all going one way or another but not you, never ever you.” You picked one of his hands off the ground so you could hold it in your own, resting in the air above your stomach as you smoothed over his rough calloused skin and traced shapes on his palm.

He said nothing when you sighed and relaxed your limbs again, this time with his hand landing on your stomach and being enclosed by yours so he couldn’t remove it so easily. You could feel his heartbeat pick up on your back and your mouth turned up with fondness. 

You didn’t need him to remind you for the hundredth time that he hadn’t gone anywhere and he was still right here with you but it was still nice to hear him grumble it in his low voice, almost a shy whisper that you had to preen to hear.

Daryl may have needed to actually feel the effect of your death before he started to slowly showcase his affectionate side but you thought it was well worth the wait, feeling beyond grateful that he hadn’t pulled away from your clinginess yet.

You figured it would just be a few days of needing him close to process that he wasn’t gone after first losing him in the smoke of the prison and then watching him get ripped away in a similar fog as soon as you had him back finally but days turned into weeks and you were still trying to find a way to silence the ache.

His heart was only picking up in speed when you were using your hand to move his slowly, so slow you could barely tell it was going anywhere at all. You pushed it until his pinky finger was under the button of your small jean shorts and you paused when you heard his breath stutter.

Part of you wanted to turn back and check his expression, make sure this was something that he wanted but you couldn’t gather the courage. Instead you sat there with your hands like that and you felt a jolt of electricity when he was moving his hand on his own.

You didn’t let it get far, barely brushing the hem of your underwear before you were swiftly sitting up in a way that clearly startled him.

He didn’t have long to overthink and wonder if he had misread the situation because now you were on your knees in between his spread legs, as close as you could get and swaying forward like you were going to lay on his chest again.

The reality was much different than he expected and lifetimes better, your lips slotting against his and automatically drawing a high pitched sound from you. There had been countless times Daryl wondered what you sounded like and the knowledge was seering itself into his brain now, longing to bring more out of you.

Your hands were on his face and you were scrambling forward so you could be sat in his lap, legs on either side of his waist as you desperately leaned into the kiss. He was easily matching your pace and you felt an overwhelming heat when you heard him groan into your mouth.

“Daryl.” The sound of his name in that tone was enough to make anybody insane and his hands on your body proved it, one hand on your lower back but the other directly touching those godforsaken jean shorts you wore.

They were poor excuses for fabric and there had been a dozen times when you'd bent over in front of him long enough for him to catch a glimpse of your panties underneath, long enough for him to run a hand over his face and disappear into the guard tower for a few hours.

Now there was no reason to pretend he wasn’t looking at you, wasn’t running his rough hands over your perfectly smooth and innocent body. That seemed to be the only innocent thing about you considering your hips were starting to rock in his lap, just slow enough to make his head spin dangerously.

His big hands were both cupping your ass now and helping you move against him, loving the way you could barely kiss him as you struggled to hold your whines in.

“Feels so good.” You sounded absolutely pathetic and wrecked and he knew right then and there that he was truly perverted, grunting into your open mouth and thrusting his hips up to make you really feel him against your sensitive core. One of your hands had been running through his hair and you tugged at the feeling, crying out in surprise. 

“Cmon sweetheart.” His voice was so low and raspy, vibrations going straight to your core and making you rock harder against him. 

Your lips were swollen and wet when you moved them from his mouth down to his jaw, sucking and biting the skin wherever you could and making sure he was grunting straight into your ear so you could commit the sounds to memory.

He barely flinched when you sat up to pull your tank top off, a bit too hasty considering it was getting stuck on your arms for a second and he had to help you, eyes hazy when your head finally emerged and he could really look at you.

You felt touched that he watched your eyes for a few heavy breaths before he even bothered to let his gaze move down to your bare chest, rising and falling with your nipples standing at attention off his stare alone. His hands weren't wasting any time before gently cupping your soft mounds and your mouth parted in another high whine at the feeling.

Hips moving slower but still just as addicting, you were letting him worship your tits and really take his time memorizing the way your body looked on top of his like this.

Daryl had pictured you in a hundred scenarios that brought shame to his core and sometimes the disgust was enough to bury it back down but more often than not, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted this no matter how wrong it may be.

“No idea how much I thought about these hands.” Your voice was the highest pitch he’d ever heard and you were softly stuttering through your words like you’d forgotten where to place them, hand back in his hair and trying to be sly with the way you were moving his head downwards. “This mouth.. f-fuck.”

He may not be the most experienced, certainly not with girls as young and pretty as you but Daryl wasn’t as idiot. It was almost second nature to wrap his mouth around your nipple once he understood that’s what you were silently asking for, his entire arm wrapping around your back to keep you locked in place.

His muscles flexed when you made an extra loud sound and you suddenly remembered just how strong he really was, capable of really doing some damage to you right now if he decided that’s what he wanted. The thought sent heat further through you and you gasped out his name in repeated cries.

You were fully humping against him now and trying to get as much pressure on your core as you could but he was firm in his hold on your middle, practically making out with your tits in a way that was so lewd and filthy you felt lightheaded.

“I need more.” You were desperate now and on the verge of a sob, yanking on his hair impatiently and immediately diving into a nasty kiss the second he lifted his head to glare at you. Your tongue was so deep in his mouth he was able to fully suck on it, low sounds leaving him constantly now. 

You hadn’t even realized you were falling until you hit the ground with his heavy frame falling over you, spreading your legs so he could slot himself between them easily.

“F-fuck you’re so hard.” You knew you sounded beyond fucked out already just from some dirty kissing but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed. Although you clearly didn’t need to considering you weren’t at all exaggerating and Daryl was fully hard and moving his core against yours like he couldn’t stop himself. 

“Pretty little thing.” His lack of vocalization didn’t bother you, not expecting it from him in the first place but you were almost grateful for his silence because it made every word he did say sound so much sweeter. 

Daryl had never complimented you so directly before and it sounded ridiculous to flush over him calling you pretty while you were laying in the leaves, bare chest out and his hard on rubbing against you but it still made your body warm in a much purer heat than the rest of your body.

He did everything in his life with an aged roughness you had realized a long time ago, hands weapons even when he didn’t mean for them to be and even when it ate him up inside afterwards so you felt particularly touched that he had a gentle grasp on your ribs and hip like he was terrified of hurting you. 

Although the thought of him hurting you did light something deep inside of you on fire but you decided to push that away and deal with it another time, slowing down your kisses once he started to fidget with the button and zipper on your shorts.

It was quick to go from dirty to romantic and you were grateful for the change even though you enjoyed the former just as much, the longing in your heart for a real sign that he felt similarly being slightly fulfilled when he was moving a hand to cup your cheek and really pay attention to the softer kiss.

 

You could tell he found amusement in his own patience bringing forth the opposite in you, a whiny annoyed noise leaving you as you started to tug at his belt impatiently and try to get him to resume what he was doing before you distracted him.

“Take it easy girl.” He was so close and the whispered words, light and affectionate enough that you almost forgot how lewd you were currently, made your eyes widened as you stared up at him hovering over you.

 

He made eye contact with you for only a brief second before he was looking away and you could see a heavy shyness in him that was directly opposite to the way he was pulling your shorts down your thighs and touching you before you’d even felt the wet air on your core.

Your breath caught in your throat and you wrapped your hands around his back, resting on his shoulder blades and you knew his vest would have the shape of your fingernails indented in the leather for a long time to come.

The low humming noise he was making against your neck seemed to be approval towards your neverending wetness and you were letting out a breathy laugh of pure hazy disbelief when you felt the head of his hard cock pressing against you. 

You could hear him softly shushing you in a soothing manner, trying to get you to relax enough that he could actually push inside without seriously hurting you. You wondered if he could tell you had never done this before, suddenly self conscious that your inexperience was radiating off of you.

Unknown to you, he was thinking the same thing about himself and hoping you couldn’t feel the way his entire body was tensing to stop from pushing in before you were ready out of pure desperation that only you could bring out of him. It was hard not to act like a horny teenager when you were panting like you were getting fucked hard just from him touching your tits.

The combination was deadly and the sound he made when he started to actually fuck you was even worse, damn near ending your life then and there just to be immediately brought back when you felt the hot pain between your legs.

Now your pants were telling a different story and he did his best to slow down and let you get used to the sheer size of him stretching you out, not realizing the way your pupils were dilating and you were purposefully tightening your legs around his waist.

“M-more.” You were begging now as the pain started to go down and he gave you a look that told you he thought you were crazy, eyebrows furrowed as he started to shake his head in disagreement. “Please Daryl love it so much, hurts so good.”

That seemed to silence both the man above you and the entire forest, his body stiffening for a few seconds too long and your heart started to race with something not as nice as the flirty nervousness you normally felt around him.

You almost opened your mouth to apologize to him for making him uncomfortable, try to explain yourself and why you liked something like that without actually knowing the reason yourself. Instead your lips parted with another high whine when he started to move, clearly getting over whatever had made him pause and making it his personal mission to give you exactly what you wanted.

Daryl would never leave your sight again and you would stop at nothing to make sure of that so you had plenty of time for gentle, endless days to fill with romance and soft kisses that made your cheeks red. Today, however, was going to be reserved for something else entirely and you could’ve truly died happy there on the leaves with him on top of you. 

[agnireed]

Rainfall

summary 🏹 you've convinced yourself daryl hates you and that only increases when you have to go on a run together

word count 🏹 9.8k

warnings 🏹 large age gap, daryl and reader are embarrassingly bad at feelings, slow burn, slightly ooc side characters (maggie and beth)

thank you to @sparklytyphoondaze for the suggested prompt!

You had almost started to think you were going crazy right alongside the state of the world. 

There wasn’t any other person, before or after that fall, that could bring you to the level of confusion and anger that Daryl Dixon managed to without fail every time you were forced to speak to each other. It was made even worse by the fact you had no idea what about you got him so upset.

You contributed to the group whenever you were needed and then some, you had never once insulted him or even sent a mean look his way unprompted and there was certainly no stand out event that had seared this bitterness into his mind. 

It seemed like he just hated you for no reason at all and this drove you insane in a way that you wish it didn’t. You didn’t necessarily fall under the belief that everybody had to like you but it really rubbed you the wrong way that somebody had decided they didn’t just because of the way you were.

At first you had figured it had to do with your young age but he didn’t sneer at Beth the same way he did with you and nobody else seemed to agree with your assumption whenever you pried them for any known information. 

You certainly had too much time on your hands these days at the prison because you had gone full blown investigator mode to try and figure out what you had been doing so wrong.

Maybe you reminded him of somebody from his past that he had a hard time with or possibly he found annoyance in the fact you managed to carry your love for all things pink and cute over into the apocalypse with you. You felt ridiculous for actually taking this to heart and you frowned at yourself in the mirror when you pulled a particularly beige tank top over your head instead of your typical blush colored ones. 

Daryl wasn’t going out of his way to be mean to you or specifically targeting you when he didn’t have to but a slightly annoyed glance from the man was enough to rattle you for the rest of the day, for reasons you didn’t really understand.

You prided yourself on being pretty tough and there was a lot you could handle before you even felt a twinge of upset but not when it came to the stoney archer. 

He was easy enough to ignore but that was full blown impossible whenever it came to Rick allowing you to do anything the other group members did. He would scoff angrily under his breath and storm off when you were assigned to go on a run and you’d see them having heated discussions whenever you were put on gate duty for long shifts. 

It was clear to you that he didn’t find you capable of helping out and although he never outwardly said it you knew that he felt uneasy trusting the lives of the others in your hands, marking you as a liability even though you’d never so much as tripped on a run let alone endangered people you considered family. 

“Am I really that bad?” You would have felt ridiculous for being so whiny but you knew Beth and Maggie were used to you coming into a cell with this exact tone by now. You had seen the look they shared when you flopped down onto the bed with a groan and now your eyebrows furrowed as you sat back up to face them. “What was that look?”

The younger of the sisters fell silent and she looked almost like she was holding in a laugh as she watched the side of Maggie’s face and waited for her to say whatever it was they were silently communicating. 

“Nothing honey it’s just…” Her familiar light twang was doing very little to soothe your worry and annoyance and you leaned in closer as she took a second to pause and stifle a building laugh. “Are you wearing brown?”

You froze as you processed her words before glancing down at the shirt you had thrown on today and groaning at the same time Beth was finally letting out an actual laugh. The sight of you in anything this shade was certainly unfamiliar and clearly a big enough deal that it was all they could focus on right now, ignoring your question you had originally asked in favor of making fun of you. 

“I don’t think his issue with you is you being girly.” Beth had a voice that couldn’t sound anything but sweet even if she tried so you took her statement as genuine reassurance even if she was still attempting to tease you. 

The pair had long been subjected to your ramblings about the older man and every little biting remark or disinterested stare he sent your way and they were just as stumped as you. Although they provided no solution for your issue it was still comforting to know you weren’t making it up and other people had noticed his distaste for you.

You sulked back to your own cell only an hour or two after joining the sisters and listening to them ramble about their own problems and thoughts, commonly occurring sessions where you could all get some things off your chest. It was a nice dynamic and you often felt touched by how easily they had brought you into the fold of their sisterly bond. 

Everybody in the group felt the same to you, love and trust apparent between each of you and then all together as a whole. There is nothing you wouldn’t do for the people inside these walls and you felt no doubt in them doing whatever it would take for you in return if and when you needed it. 

There was only one exception to this feeling and you were growing more and more frustrated by his refusal to bond with you, even if it was surface level.

You didn’t think Daryl would leave you without water if you were dying of thirst but you figured if it was in a high tree he might just tell you it wasn’t worth the effort.

Your theory was most likely going to be tested in some shape because Rick was approaching you the next day to tell you in the most stern voice he could muster that you would be going on a run. You could tell from the look in his eye that he was telling you this way because a certain somebody would be tagging along but you expected that it was just going to be the two of you on your own.

“Ain’t happening.” Daryl seemed just as dejected as you did at the news but Rick had apparently given him alot less time to be upset about it considering the words flying from his mouth when he saw you and your leader approaching him on his bike, already loaded up and at the gate ready to go. 

You sighed at the realization you were a surprise guest, annoyance in your gut knowing this would only further his hatred towards you.

“Who would you prefer?” Rick was spitting back at him in a half whisper like it would save you from being able to hear. You were even more hurt at the way he phrased it, clearly letting you in on the fact they had had this conversation before. “The cars can’t get through, not on that route.”

“I can ride a bike.” You weren’t sure why you had tried to help out with the slightly useless piece of information, knowing neither of them would ever let you go by yourself on a run let alone with Daryl’s bike. If either of them seemed surprised by the fact then they didn’t show it but his sneer turned to you faster than you could retract your suggestion. 

“Like hell you will.” He said it so harshly that you were almost taken back by it. He was never kind to you but it certainly hadn’t gotten to this point in quite some time and your eyes flashed with surprise as you took a few steps backwards so you were further behind Rick.

He watched you for a breath or two after that and you almost thought you saw regret passing over his face even though it was gone as quickly as it came once he faced Rick again. You were pushing yourself further back with another sigh so they could quickly have their biting conversation and get it over with. 

You’d already done the checklist in your head and realized there truly was nobody else who could both be on the back of his bike and also perform well in a run and it was only a matter of time before he understood that too. He was an asshole but he wasn’t unreasonable and you knew he wouldn’t completely abandon a run just because he didn’t want you coming along.

Your theory proved correct because soon enough you were settling yourself on the seat behind him and smiling tightly at Rick when he placed a hand on your arm, silently wishing you good luck with a firm nod.

You did your best to ignore his grumbles for you to hold on and luckily you had grown up on a bike and weren’t saying that for no reason so it was easy enough to sit still and not disturb him. There was a deeper bratty part of you that wanted to softly rock side to side just enough to get his attention and annoy him but you decided against it.

If he was going to dislike you then you wanted it to be a complete reflection of his poor character and nothing to do with you.

He was surprisingly docile for most of the long ride and even let you take a break on the side of the road midway through so you could both stretch your legs and avoid cramping up by the time you got there and actually had to be on high alert. 

“It’s a nice bike.” You felt stupid for speaking as soon as you heard the sound of your own voice and saw his head snapping up to look at you.

He was crouching down near it like he was investigating an issue but you knew he was just pretending to be busy to avoid the awkward silence or having to talk to you, two things that were currently happening thanks to your lack of impulse control.

“Sorry.” You were sighing and awkwardly looking away from him, taking a few steps closer to the tree line because how uneasy his strong gaze was making you feel. A rush of embarrassment overtook you and you strangely felt like you were going to tear up for some reason, pushing some loose rocks with your foot and glancing down the road. 

“S’all good.” He was finally responding and your eyes widened in surprise, glad to see he had looked away again just in time and didn’t see your reaction. “Was my brothers.”

“I remember.” Your voice was soft because you had actually known where the bike came from just from hearing him mention it a handful of times and you also knew enough to know why he tensed at the reminder that you had actually met his brother.

Daryl hadn’t been as docile then in his anger both towards you and everybody else and it felt like you got left behind with Merle on that rooftop when he decided to let down some of his walls and start trusting people. You weren’t a part of that equation which confused you even more now that you started to recall the earliest days of your meeting.

You had been pretty much the sole target of Merle’s disgusting rants about the women in the camp, making comments in passing about the others but really locking in on you whenever you were in his line of sight. He switched between degrading you and your ability to keep up with him and the men with you to just as quickly cat calling you and encouraging you to join him in camp.

There was a quickly built resentment towards him and his brother but the latter faded when you would catch Daryl defending you when he assumed you were out of earshot, at least the best he could without enraging his brother. 

He would tell him to leave you alone when he noticed his brother's hazy eyes zoning in on you like he wanted to approach or make a quick comment about how you were too young for him to be perving on you. All mild attempts to derail Merle’s small attention span but you appreciated the effort considering it was much more than the other men around camp would do and they didn’t have a reason to be cautious of the wild man like Daryl did.

That had all changed when Rick showed up and you felt a surge of hope as soon as you heard him addressing the group for the first time, solid and sturdy in his words even when he was allowing Shane to still bark the orders and have control.

You knew from the first day that you finally had somebody to take lead over your dire situation and you knew men like Merle Dixon would never bother you again.

No part of you thought Daryl was similar to his brother in any way but you still felt the same hurt regardless if it was intentional from his end. 

“C’mon.” He wasn’t giving you a response to what you had said and you were glad he hadn’t, much preferring the loud hum of the bike to help quiet your endless thoughts. 

This time he didn’t completely tense up when you were circling your hands around his waist and you were weirdly finding some comfort knowing he was with you when you thought back on those days at the quarry. Was there a different world where Daryl didn’t dislike you and kept up the protective streak he’d shown back then or was that sincerely a complete one off?

You wondered if it would be weird to ask him directly about what you had done to upset him, both bringing it to reality for the first time and also exposing yourself for caring way more than you should about what he thought.

It might have been an age thing that led you to not only not wanting to disappoint him but you found yourself actively wanting to impress him and catch his attention. Even an interested gaze rather than an annoyed one would probably make your day at this point and you found yourself ridiculous for the tenth time since you left the prison just a few hours ago.

There was the same urge in you when it came to Rick and Hershel, even Glenn occasionally although you looked towards him more as a brother while the latter two reminded you of that fatherly connection you’d always seeked out.

You felt warmed whenever Hershel checked in on you and softly told you to take better care of your health and you’d do just about anything Rick asked of you as long as it meant he was proud of you and felt you were a good addition to the group.

Your nose scrunched up at the thought of thinking towards Daryl in any type of fatherly way and you quickly scratched that idea off your endless boards of guesses.

Luckily he was pulling to a stop before you could jot down anything else in your mental notebook and you glanced around your surroundings for just a second before you were bracing your hands on his shoulders and swinging your leg over his bike, landing flat on your feet with a little groan.

The muscles in your thighs were tight from the stretch and constant tensing to brace yourself around turns and debris in the road and you imagine he was feeling a similar pain judging by the face he made when he roughly kicked the stand down to steady the bike.

You silently watched him as he covered it in light shrubbery, opting to stay out of his way and let him do whatever it was he felt like he needed. It was always simpler to wait for him to tell you what to do instead of doing it on your own and dealing with him getting angry and correcting you. 

He whistled lowly and started to walk away from you and you took the wordless cue easily, following behind with a hand on your knife holster and your eyes sharp to your surroundings. 

There was no amount of huffing and puffing from him that would make you think you were a liability out in nature. You didn’t have as quick of reflexes as he did and there was no way you’d ever catch up in terms of survival skills but you were good at handling yourself and extremely light on your feet.

Luckily there was a lack of complaints from him today as the two of you approached the small strip mall quietly and fast, half crouched in a way that made your knees ache as you followed behind him. 

He stopped too abruptly behind an abandoned car for you to notice and you bumped into his back, immediteyly reaching out in an attempt to steady him and he turned his head to glare at you over his shoulder. The walker growls in the distant stopped you from verbally apologizing but you hoped he could see it in your eyes.

That must have annoyed him enough that he decided you shouldn’t be behind him and out of sight, shaking your hands off of him before taking a few low steps back and nudging you forward.

You sighed at his clear lack of forgiveness but focused on the task at hand and made sure the area was clear before moving forward and finally reaching the buildings. You could see one of the windows were busted as you pushed yourself against the wall and you glanced at him once he reached you.

He was as close to you as he ever probably had been and you took a few seconds to watch the way his built chest was rising and falling with heavy breaths, shoulders pressed to yours and face blank as he glanced at you.

“Walkers.” You more mouthed the words than actually spoke and his gaze dropped to your lips.

You felt incredibly stupid and thrown off when you felt a heat rising to your cheeks at the action. You knew he was simply trying to read you lips and not looking at you for any other reason but your brain apparently decided today that you enjoyed the idea of him looking at you like that. 

It was probably the worst possible moment to be hit with the fact that you wanted him to think about you in that way, your entire body freezing up when you pieced together why exactly you yearned for his approval. It certainly wasnt fatherly at all because you apparently had a crush on Daryl Dixon.

“What the hell are you doing?” His raspy voice hissing at you defiantelty wasnt helping you in your moment of understanding but your eyes widened realizing he had been trying to tell you something while you were frozen. “C’mon girl, move.”

You were quick to nod your head to show him you processed the demand and then he was gone, turning the corner and pushing his way into the building. He must have had a good idea of how many walkers were inside and you werent sure if that was something he had figured out silently or if that was another piece of dialogue you had msised in your dilemma.

He didnt seem at all bothered while taking the three still up and walking around out and you watched him silently, not daring to get in the way when he was swinging his crossbow around and taking off heads. He was still breathing heavily when he turned to check on your whereabouts and this time you could see some anger beneath the exhaustion. 

The flush still on your cheeks was now being partnered with a heat in your gut and you realized just how fucked you actually were.

When had this happened and why did it take you so long to realize what this actually was? How did you manage to delude yourself into thinking it was normal that you were hanging off his every word and going over your small interactions dozens of times.

You’d even thrown on this hideously colored shirt thinking he might like it better than your normal wardrobe and you’d actually been upset when he hadn’t glanced twice at it earlier.

He was furrowing his eyebrows and you assumed he was half a second before asking you what the hell you were staring at but he didnt get a chance considering his eyes were darting over your shoulder with a look of panic that let you know exactly what he saw.

You didn’t even hear the growl of the walker behind you before you were gripping the handle of your knife and attempting to spin around but it was already too late and it was taking you to the ground so hard your head smacked against the old wood and your knife was being thrown somewhere too far for you to reach.

“Daryl.” Your voice was a high pitched screech as you desperately shot one hand out to attempt to grip anything that would allow you to kill the raging walker while your other one was pressed tightly around its shoulder to try and keep its clamping jaw away from your face.

It was so close you could hear the moisture in its mouth and feel its breath on your cheek, a whimper leaving you as you felt its hands on your body trying to find any soft bit of flesh to grip its claw into. 

The walker was falling limb ontop of you and although only a few seconds had passed since youd fallen, it felt like an hour of struggling with its strength and your entire life flashing before your eyes. You’d been in close call situations before but never something like this and you knew you would’ve been dead if Daryl hadn’t been here or even in the same room.

You were breathing heavily and shame hit you at the same time a heavy sob did, fully processing what almost just happened because you hadnt been paying attention to your surroundings. 

“Fuck.” Your voice was pained with a groan as you tried to life the waker off of you but it was large in size, possibly taller than Daryl and without a doubt heavier. It was lifted off of you as soon as you started to struggle and you were only half surprised to see his face looking down at you as he easily removed it.

For once he didn’t look cold or emotionless as he looked at you, a similar panic on his face as he crouched down beside you and scanned over your neck and face for any sign of a bite. 

You were about to reassure him that you hadn’t been bit but he was cutting you off by pushing your shirt halfway up your stomach, revealing so much bare skin that you felt almost shy even though you knew he was just checking you for scratches once he realized where the walker had its hands.

He didn’t dare touch your exposed stomach but his gaze was heated as he looked around your heaving ribs, pausing when he saw small pink marks on your waist.

“It’s okay right?” You sounded panicked as you sat up slightly to inspect it with him, your hand smoothing over the discoloration and feeling only a bit relieved when you didnt feel any signs of it being indented. “He just grabbed me tightly but he didn’t scratch.”

“Let’s go.” His voice was low and cold and he was standing halfway before gripping your forearm and tugging you up with him, starting to drag you towards the door.

You were frowning and shaking your head, looking back at your abandoned knife on the floor and placing a hand on the doorframe to stop him from pulling you. You knew he still easily could have removed you if he wanted but you both understood there was no way to get back on a motorcycle with an unwillingly particpant. 

It wasn’t as simple as throwing you in a car and shutting the door and your other hand came up to grab his wrist.

“We can’t leave.” Your voice was more pleading than argumentative, wanting him to see you were still willing and eager to follow his directions if it meant staying. “We haven’t even looked around yet. Theyre counting on us.”

“Nah. I’ll circle back tomorrow with Maggie.” He was steely in his answer and didn’t even seem to process what you were trying to tell him. He had clearly made up his mind and your eyes were desperate as you stared at him.

“I’m sorry for not paying attention.” It was your second time apologizing for something that wasn’t your fault and this seem to strike a particular nerve with him because he was fully turning towards you and letting go of your arm so he could point at you angrily. 

“You almost died, we’re leaving.” He was making a move for the door again and a wave of panic went through you, halfway thinking he might leave you there if you didn’t join him. He was leaving no room for argument and the look he gave you when you grabbed his shoulder made ice shoot through your veins.

He didn’t seem to understand why you couldn’t bare just leaving and going back to the prison empty handed. Did he not realize that there was nothing you feared more than disappointing your group members, not even a walker practically breathing down your throat could rattle you the way that could. 

His shoulders lost some of the tension when he saw the look on your face and you suddenly wanted to shout at him and ask him what his problem was, demand he tell you why he had been so endlessly cruel to you for so long. 

But now you were wondering if he actually had been or if you were simply throwing an internal fit because he didn’t give you an overt amount of attention, doubting your own reality now that you had fully accepted that you might have a stupid crush on the older man.

You had fresh tears joining your dried streaks now, cutting through the dirt on your face almost comically and he was biting the inside of his cheek like he couldn’t figure out how to comfort you right now or atleast make you stop crying.

Finally he was sighing and nodding his head so quick you almost missed it, pushing past you so he could venture further into the shop and silently let you know that you were getting what you wanted and continuing the run.

You made sure to push down any thoughts of him for the rest of the trip so you could focus on getting what you needed without endangering yourself again and you actually managed to get quite a big chunk of the stuff on the necessity list, even grabbing some extra fun things for Carl and a top you thought Beth might like. 

An hour or so had passed when Daryl made his way back to you and you could feel him watching you as you rifled through the clothing rack, not turning to face him and instead letting him approach you for once. 

“Suits you.” His light tone shocked you enough that you let go of the pink sleeve you were inspecting on the hanger. You had expected him to make a snide comment about you wasting time looking at clothes instead of finding something useful but apparently he had run out of the energy to argue with you.

“Because its childish?” You had humor in your voice with your response but it wasnt genuine, more so trying to deliver the punch line before he could. 

“Nah, just suits you.” He didn’t play into your accidental bait and you narrowed your eyes at him before sighing and pulling the pink sweater off the rack, dusting it off before dragging it over your head and the brown shirt you were wearing.

You figured you looked a bit puffy with the double layering and it was far too hot for the thick fabric but you held your hands out like you were presenting the outfit to him and although he didnt laugh, you thought you heard him lightly scoff at your display.

 

You finished stuffing your gifts for the others into your already full bag before joining him as he moved further into the large building, side by side as you followed the range of his flashlight with your eyes. 

“Why’re you wearing that shit anways?” He surpised you by still trying to make conversation and you starting to wonder if he had been the one to hit his head earlier, glancing at him just to find he was already watching you from the corner of his eye.

At first you thought he meant the sweater but you realized he meant your original outfit, heat once again rising to your cheeks when you pieced together that he had actually noticed your change in color scheme. 

You weren’t exactly sure how to explain that you had done it to appear more mature for him without making a complete fool of yourself so you opted for shrugging your shoulders and remaining silent, letting him figure it out for himself like you so often had to.

“Someone say something to you?” He paused in his stride and you turned back to look at him in confusion, furthering when you saw the twitch in his jaw and that same cold look in his eyes. This time it didn’t seem directed at you but that didn’t help you figure out the situation in the slightest. 

“Like what?” Your voice was still soft and almost a whisper, like you were guiding to him towards actually giving you an answer to something for once. Your head slightly titled and the movement made him take another step back for some reason, almost like he was afraid of you. “Like how I dress like a toddler? Or maybe something about being a walking signal for walkers?”

It almost took him a few seconds into your sentences to realize you were repeating back to him things he had said before, quick comments made in fits of anger that he clearly hadn’t thought you’d take to heart let alone remember word for word. You scoffed at his taken back reaction and nodded your head bitterly, tightening your grip on your backpack strap and moving towards the exit.

If he was bothered by you leaving him behind in the dark building then he didn’t show it on his face but you felt regret for doing it as soon as you were outside by yourself, standing next to his bike impatiently and waiting for him to join you. 

Thunder cracked in the distance as soon as his foot hit the dirt and both of you paused to look at eachother, dread growing in you knowing what he was thinking before he even had to say it.

You were groaning loudly and lugging your stuff back inside, bumping his shoulder on your way in. You both knew you wouldn’t be able to ride home that long with a storm coming so you had no choice but to spend the night in the same building you had nearly died in a few hours prior with a man who wanted nothing to do with you.

He was outside for atleast thirty minutes and you figured he was hiding his bike somewhere more secure or possibly checking the perimeter now that you were going to be letting your guards down a bit to get some rest.

You could hear rain drops hitting the windows before he came back inside and although they were light, you knew he must be getting damp out there. You sighed as you made your way to the clothing racks to find him something to dry to wear, telling yourself you were only doing the kind gesture because you were restless.

“Y/N?” His voice was loud and panicked when he closed the door behind him, not seeing you anywhere near the entrance and finding your bag left behind on the floor. “Damn it.”

Your eyes rolled when he initally called your name and you almost planned to ignore him but you still couldn’t find it in yourself to be unnecessarily rude so you gathered the clothes and headed back towards the front.

His body relaxed slightly when he saw you coming out of the dark but he froze again when his gaze dropped down to the fabric in your hands, watching you as you got so close your boots touched before you were pushing it against his wet chest and raising an eyebrow.

“You’ll catch a cold playing in the rain like that.” You let your tone be slightly mocking but it was lighthearted enough that he wouldn’t bother taking offense at you making fun of him for staying outside. He mumbled a thank you but didn’t stop staring down at you.

You wondered if he was slightly flattered by you doing such a domestic act for him or if he didn’t care at all, deciding on the former so you could let yourself have atleast one small win after such a rough day. You cleared your throat before turning around and allowing him some privacy while changing. 

Picking up on him moving a few more feet away, you entire body was still flushing when you heard the telltale signs of him changing clothes. 

There was a large part of you that tried to squeeze your eyes closed and think of something totally unrelated but the smaller portion won by a landslide and you let yourself think about what he might look like without clothes on. 

You were no stranger to the sight of his arms, large and rippling with muscle everytime he drew his crossbow or swung his knife. You knew he was older and more mature than boys you had been with before the fall, most likely with hair trailing down his stomach where they had been smooth and rounder around the sections of his ribs.

Your fidgeting was extremely apparent to anybody in the room and you were unlucky enough that it was just the two of you.

In no time Daryl was mumbling that you were good to turn around and moving to start a small enough fire that it wouldn’t reach the high ceiling and could be ventilated through the broken windows. You ignored the sight of his messy and damp hair falling into his eyes and especially forgot about how much your chest heaved at the way he looked in the clothes you’d picked for him.

It wasn’t much different from what he would usually wear, you had made sure of that so he wouldn’t reject your gesture but you simply found it notable that it was something you had picked for him. 

A few more hours were passing of you sitting in silence and listening to the rain outside for any sign of it stopping, grateful when he finally sighed and pulled out the little food you had packed, seemingly accepting your fate of staying overnight. 

The sun had long set by the time he was clearing his throat like he was going to finally say something and your eyes met his across the fire, holding the gaze tightly so he didn’t change his mind.

“Sorry about before.” He shocked you even more with the words coming from his mouth and your eyebrows raised, your arms wrapped around your knees where you’d been resting your head before he spoke. 

You weren’t sure what exactly he was trying to apologize for, the list of possible offenses longer than you think he even realized. You imagined it was between trying to make you abandon the run and you bringing up what he had said about the way you dressed, maybe a mix of both so he could kill two awkward birds with one big hesitant stone like apology. 

“It’s all good.” You were shrugging and you wondered if he at all cared that you had lost your usual friendly tone in favor of mimicking his cold and emotionless one. “Kinda my fault anyways, always trying to get your attention.”

You don’t know why you said it and you were even more confused why you didn’t immediately want to take it back. Maybe saying it out loud could make you feel better but you imagined you’d be wishing you saved it for a kinder audience like Maggie and Beth whenever he responded to you. 

Braving a look in his direction, you softly laughed seeing the confusion on his face. He almost looked a bit hurt and guarded like he thought you might be making fun of him which you didn’t fully understand why he would go to that conclusion.

“You don’t have to pretend you didn’t notice Daryl.” You were smiling softly now and although you were mostly baiting him, the pink on your cheeks was still very much real.

Truthfully, you hadn’t assumed that he had caught onto your crush on him because you barely had until now and Daryl didn’t seem to be the type of man that went around guessing when people liked him. 

Infact he seemed the most thrown off guard you’d ever seen him when he realized what you were trying to say and the red on his cheeks was almost enough to rival yours. You coughed just to fill the silence when you accepted he wasn’t planning to respond to you and you tried to ignore the deafening sounds of his shifting in place. 

The two of you stayed silent until the fire started to die out and by then you were laying on your back, staring up on the ceiling and bringing you could feel to rain falling down on you. It was heavy by now and you figured the storm was directly above you at this point, almost thankful for the thunder and lightning as it masked the sounds of Daryl’s light breathing.

He was laying down too and despite him being on the other side of the fire, it still managed to feel strangely intimate. 

It was likely that he was closer lying in the cell next to yours on the nights he decided it was better than the perch but now there was no stone wall between you and you could see the outline of his face whenever you turned your head to see if he had fallen asleep yet. 

The darkness was making it hard to see from that distance but the light of the fire was just visible enough for you to catch the fact he was glancing over at you too and you quickly looked away. You were firm in your stare at the ceiling now and you hoped the feeling of his eyes on you still was just your imagination. 

“I like the pink.” His voice was breaking through the silence but not loud enough to be completely jarring, low and whispered like he didn’t want to disturb you with the confession. Maybe he didn’t want you to hear him at all. “Meant it, it suits you.”

“You don’t think I look ridiculous?” You were teasing him now and it was obvious, your voice light and gentle again. 

“Nah, never did. Just an asshole.” His flat voice made you snort a laugh and you could have sworn you heard him chuckling in return. You stayed quiet for a bit longer and tried to find a way to not place meaning behind what he was telling you. 

It could be as simple as him not wanting any bad blood between the two of you considering you had to live together for most likely the rest of your lives, regardless if that was days or years. Or maybe he had felt bad about hurting your feelings because Daryl certainly wasn’t cruel for no reason and you knew he had a better heart than most, even if it took seeing you reduced to tears to finally apologize.

“I almost died today.” Your voice was still soft but for different reasons now and you turned to look at him again, wincing when you noticed he’d gone rigid. He was resting his head on one of his arms and the other was palm down on his stomach, moving lightly with every breath he took. “After all this time I think I forgot that I could. Maybe it’s good to get a reminder.”

He didn’t say anything for a while again and you almost wanted to sigh even though you just knew it was in his nature to not speak much. You actually liked that about him on any other day, he was easy to read when he wanted to be and he wore his emotions on his sleeve if you paid enough attention which apparently you did. 

“Not gonna let that happen.” Sometimes he said things that made you wish he wouldn’t speak because you werent sure how you were supposed to take him saying something like that. You had practically spelled out the fact you liked him a few hours ago and now he was declaring to personally keep you alive. 

“You cant know that.” You had decided to sit up before you finished speaking, wanting to feel more in control of the conversation even if it meant being able to see him more clearly now that you could easily see him over the fire. 

“Be alot easier if you stayed at the damn prison.” He sounded annoyed again but you could tell it wasn’t actually directed at you in a meaningful way. 

“Is that why you keep telling Rick I shouldn’t go on runs?” You hadnt even realized you came to that conclusion until you were asking it and you suddenly felt very stupid for thinking that he had been doubting your survival skills all this time. Although it wasnt solely your fault because you wouldve agreed alot easier to stay back if you knew he was simply worried about you. “Why didnt you tell me that?”

He scoffed like your question was ridiculous and now it was your turn to be annoyed with him. You were standing from your spot on the floor and moving over to him, sitting beside where he was still laying flat. This was probably the closest youd ever been to him intentionally not to mention this most likely being your longest conversation to date but he was finally giving you some answers now. 

“Wouldn’t matter anyways now would it. Too damn stubborn.” He sounded completely bored by your conversation and your mouth dropped at him vaguely confirming that he had been trying to keep you back to protect you. 

“I thought you hated me.” You practically squeaked it out and suddenly he seemed alot more alert, turning his head to look at you fully and clearly trying not to pay attention to how close you were sitting. 

You were on your knees next to him and your hands slapped down onto your thighs dramatically with an almost manic laugh as your entire point of view shifted. 

“Why would I hate you?” He asked it like the thought genuinely hadnt crossed his mind and you could have screamed in frustration. 

“Then why-” You thought of all of his heated glances and the way he avoided touch from you specifically, teasing remarks about the smallest details of how you dressed and now the added fact that he hadn’t wanted you to face the dangers of going on runs especially ones he wasn’t going on. “Oh my god, you have a crush on me.”

You should have felt ridiculous for the way you were practically gleaming with realization as you pointed at him like you had cracked open a decade long cold case. He raised an eyebrow at you and your theatrics before he was scoffing and looking back up at the roof like the conversation wasn’t making his heart race. 

“Ain’t got a crush.” He felt almost shy saying the word and thankfully you were close enough to see the way his flush had returned tenfold and the fidgeting of his hands against the vest he’d thrown back over the shirt you picked for him.

“But you like me?” You were overdoing it now but you felt almost drunk with giddiness now that you knew he hadn’t been icing you out all along. Daryl was simply just shy and clearly terrible at showcasing when he had feelings for somebody but you almost couldn’t blame him considering you’d nearly died seconds after realizing it for yourself. “You think I’m totally cute.”

Now you were really pushing it and he brought his gaze back to you just to make sure you could see the exasperation in his expression although now you were so high on the accidental confession you were tricking yourself into thinking he looked fondly amused.

“I’ve spent all this time thinking you hated me, why didn’t you just-” You were just starting to question his lack of forwardness but you silently answered it for yourself before you even finished. “Oh.”

You’d somehow manage to forget that there was easily twenty years between you and Daryl, if not more than that (you didn’t think now was a good time to ask him exactly how old he was). He looked almost sheepish now that you seemed to recall this obvious fact and you could tell he had thought about it alot more than you had.

A quietness took over the room again and you halfway noted that it sounded like the rain had finally started to slow to a stop. You were shifting in place and adjusting yourself in a way that you could more comfortably lean forward to practically force him to look at you.

“I don’t think it matters.” You were whispering now like somebody was going to overhear you and now his glare actually had some real heat behind it.

“Like hell it don’t.” He sounded frustrated that you were even talking about it let alone attempting to pretend it wasn’t an issue.

Now you were truly curious how long he had been thinking about this and it suddenly made alot more sense to you why he constantly seemed to be avoiding you. Not out of anger towards you but possibly towards the fact there was no world in which he could be with you in that way.

“I wouldn’t tell anybody.” You immediately regretting saying it as soon as you saw the way he froze up, the words being whispered into the air painting a much different tone than you had originally intended. 

It made it sound like it was some dirty secret you would need to keep due to how wrong it was but you had meant it genuinely, wanting him to know you’d be okay with taking your time letting the others know until it was something even worth noting. 

Now you truly felt like you’d gone crazy because what were you even talking about here? Did he have real feelings for you or was it just basic lust for a younger girl wandering around in pink tanktops, did it even matter regardless considering how disgusted he seemed now?

He was sitting up with a grunt and rising to his feet, giving you one last glare before he was storming outside with a mumble about needing a smoke. You stayed there on the floor staring at where his body had just been and a wave of shame washed over you.

You tried to calm yourself by thinking that you could fix it once he came back inside and relaxed a little, giving you a second to explain what you meant and what you had been thinking. You didn’t want him to see you as some stupid little girl that couldn’t keep her mouth shut. 

Daryl took this plan and crushed it considering he didn’t ever come back in and you laid there staring at the body of the walker who had almost killed you earlier, watching it until you managed to fade off into a nearly restless sleep while he sat outside and counted down the minutes until you could leave.

----

The next morning couldn’t have been more awkward if you tried.

You’d practically thrown yourself outside when you had waken up and didn’t see him still, stumbling onto the dirt with your eyes wide with panic. You looked towards the bush where his bike had been and felt your throat tighten at the realization he had actually left you there.

Then you heard shuffling behind you and whipped around to see him watching you from the treeline, half concerned and half blank like he couldn’t decide which side of him to show you now. 

Your half awake brain slowly remembered that he had moved his bike before the storm last night and you could tell by the line of something furry over his shoulder that he had been out hunting before you started to head home. 

You could guess by where the sun sat in the sky that he had actually let you sleep in a bit and suddenly you were itching to get back to the prison, hand to your forehead as you made your way back in silently to gather your stuff and head back out. 

You felt embarrassed that he had seen you so distressed over the thought of being left alone but you figured you were way past the point of return with the amount of humiliating things that had happened in the last 24 hours so it didn’t really matter. 

There was no overestimating how bad it felt to climb onto the back of his bike and wrap your arms around him for endless hours while also knowing he most likely wanted to be as far away from you as possible right now.

The sight of the prison would normally leave a slight distaste in your mouth but right now it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen and it only got better when you saw a familiar head of blonde hair near the gates, clearly hearing the sounds of the bike and waiting for your arrival.

You felt a rush of emotion seeing your friend and you were rushing off the bike before he even had time to steady himself, meeting her halfway in a hug and trying to ignore how weird your reaction seemed to anybody else. You had only been gone a night but it felt like an entire year had passed in that building. 

She was quick to make small talk as you headed in together and you were grateful for the distraction, glancing behind your shoulder back at him only to look away quickly when you found him already looking. 

It wasn’t until you were hidden behind the walls of your cell that you let the frown take over your expression and Beth faltered in her ramblings, watching your shoulders slump as you threw your bag carelessly in the corner. 

“Oh honey. I know that expression.” You hadn’t even realized Maggie was standing in the entryway of your cell until you heard her warm voice full of concern and pity. Beth sent her a curious glance and she sighed softly. “She’s heartbroken.”

“You told him?” Beth gasped the words loudly and both you and Maggie rushed to shush her, your hands covering her mouth while her sister moved fully into the cell like the sheet covering the doorway behind her would at all mask the sound of your gossip.

“You knew?” You were already frustrated and it was obvious in your tone, looking between the two of them with an accusatory glare that they matched with confusion. “You both knew this entire time?”

“You didn’t?” Maggie seemed genuinely perplexed by what you were saying and you suddenly were hit with how crazy you must have sounded.

You had spend the better part of the last few months ranting to them about every little interaction with the man and it was apparently clear to everybody but yourself and Daryl that you had feelings for him. 

There was a brief silence before you were delving into what had happened and doing your best to not leave out any details so you could get their opinions and advice on where to go from here. Beth cringed when you got to the part about not telling anybody and Maggie rolled her eyes when you mentioned Daryl had slept outside to avoid having to talk to you again.

“Is it really that bad?” Beth seemed almost bashful to ask the question and you both knew what she was talking about. 

You weren’t really sure how to answer her because although young, you were still very much an adult and capable of making your own decisions but you also wouldn’t be able to fully blame somebody who found you and Daryl together to be distasteful. Beth was still a few years younger than you and you had a hard time picturing her with anybody that age when she was closer to you and Maggie’s maturity.

“You’re a grown woman Y/N.” Maggie seemed to have come to a similar conclusion as you had or maybe she just wanted to encourage her friend towards something she knew would make her happy. “Least he could do is talk to you.”

That seemed to light a new found fire in you and after a few more words of encouragement you were storming off to go and find Daryl.

It took a fair bit of time to track him down but eventually you were led back to the maintenance room in the newly cleared portion of the prison, heart beating faster as you walked through the dimly lit hallways. You felt relieved when you could hear his voice coming from one of the rooms but then annoyance surge through you again.

“I’m a grown ass woman.” You were sure you looked ridiculous as you pushed through the door and looked at him angrily, pointing a finger in his direction and feeling slightly smug when you saw how caught off guard he looked for once. 

Then his eyes were trailing behind you and for a second you were reminded of the way he had looked before the walker attacked, spinning around just to see Rick and Glenn staring at you like you had grown two heads. Theyd never seen you so amped up before and the latter looked like he almost wanted to laugh. 

You were sure Maggie had filled him in to some extent about your situation with Daryl and your neck felt hot with embarrassment, something that was happening far too often for your liking.

“Sorry.” You felt sheepish as you glanced at Rick who looked half disapproving and half amused. “Can I talk to Daryl?”

Now he had something else passing over his face but you weren’t really sure what to make of it, even more confused when they locked eyes over your shoulder before Rick was raising an eyebrow and giving a slow nod. He barely looked at you as they left and you couldn’t tell if that made you feel better or worse. 

You were turning back towards the source of your anger but now all of your fight had been lost and all you could do was sigh as you looked at him.

“Can you atleast talk to me?” You found yourself simply repeating exactly what Maggie had told you and you felt prematurely defeated when you saw the closed off look in his eye.

“Ain’t nothing to talk about.” He was quick to dismiss you completely and you were thankful you were standing between him and the door because it looked like he was seconds from running away just to avoid you again. 

“There is Daryl and you know there is.” You didn’t care that you sounded desperate as you called his name and his eyes bore harder into yours when he heard it falling from your lips, only watching you as you took a few steps closer to him. “What’s so wrong about you liking me?”

He wasn’t going to say it, place a name to exactly what the problem would be because he knew you were already aware. You could tell he was growing frustrated that you kept pushing him about it especially when he clearly had done a good job at ignoring it although that included making you feel like shit.

“Liking eachother.” You changed your wording around to make sure you included yourself this time, wanting to remind him the feeling was mutual. 

You weren’t sure if it had the affect you wanted but you were taking a few more hesitant steps forward like you were approaching a wild animal, stopping when you were close enough to be able to put your hand on his chest.

It was the first time you were touching him like that without needing a real reason to and he seemed more affected than you’d seen him be yet, breath noticeably shorting as his eyes started to frantically dart around your face.

You wished so desperately you were able to read his mind and question what it was that was holding him back so much, especially when you were out of sight from everybody else and the judgement they possibly could cast onto you.

 

Apparently you weren’t subtle and the look Rick had given him earlier almost seemed like he had been as aware of your situation as Maggie was and there was no public outcry, no pulling you away and scolding you for having your hand on his chest and your eyes moving from his lips to his eyes. 

For a second it felt like the volume had been turned off in the room until he was finally moving his gaze down too and suddenly it all came rushing back, able to hear your own heartbeat mixing with his and the pace of his breathing slowing down. 

It wasn’t until he kissed you that the sound died out again, filled in by the rush in your heart and raindrops in the distance.

[agnireed]

LOOK AT ME

summary 🏹 you and daryl both feel the shift in your relationship now that you are in alexandria

word count 🏹 9.8k

warnings 🏹 large age gap, both reader and daryl are very unreliable narrators, various switching povs, morally gray characters and relationships.

there hadn’t been some significant event that changed the way daryl viewed you. he actually wasn’t sure if anything different happened at all or if his altered feelings were as new as they felt.

you’d always been somebody he cared for because he cared for everybody in the group, it felt like his purpose to atleast keep you all fed if he couldn’t do anything else. but that was about where your relationship ended.

he brought you food and occasionally little trinkets of things you’d mentioned in passing and you thanked him with a soft voice and big peering eyes that could haunt him in his sleep if he thought about them too hard.

you were always looking around with those same wide eyes when you first stumbled upon the group only a few days after they arrived to hershel’s farm.

it was easy for you to slip into the fold considering they were already going through constant changes, both in scenery and with how their mindsets shifted deeper into survival with every loss.

maggie and you became close friends considering you were so close in age and your upbringing being on a farm was just another reason for you both to disappear into your own shared world constantly.

he didn’t see you much but he thought about you often and there was always a split second before he shut it off and shoved it away where things might’ve been changing, at least thats what he assumed now.

there was a handful of things that he saw in a different light now that he looked back on it, maybe deluding himself so he felt less guilty or possibly wishfully thinking.

was it always so intimate when you talked on a shared shift of night watch, not even sitting close enough to touch but whispering into the dark and telling him things he wasn’t sure anybody else knew? did he make up the way your gaze always seemed to drift in his direction while making a group decision or when something went wrong?

the years passed without anything standing out in his mind about you and the way you interacted but that shifted as soon as you entered the walls of alexandria.

daryl knew something was wrong with him and he wasn’t going to attempt to deny or confront the issues at hand, content enough with how he’d handled his abrasive language and quickness to anger. it definitely wasn’t something he was going to try and police for the sake of the people behind these giant walls.

pure bitterness was building faster than he had realized it would and there wasn’t anybody being spared from both the people of alexandria and your own group members. he’d sneer at the way rick fawned for the attention of a house wife and the den mother role play carol had taken on almost made him feel like he lost a friend.

then there was you.

maybe you were taking it as slow as him or maybe you just always seemed to mold to your surroundings up until this point but he quickly understood he wasn’t the only one feeling so out of place.

you weren’t the biggest fan of any change let alone something this drastic but you really did try your best to get used to it and give it a solid chance. it felt selfish of you that you missed how the group was back when you took the prison together despite the exhaustion and the grief tolling over you, there was nothing you wouldn’t do for each other.

then the people of woodbury arrived and suddenly you were seeing less of the friends that you had split a single can over a week span with, the ones that had found you and welcomed you into their group with barely a second thought and the ones that helped build you into a survivor through that terrible winter on the road.

they were blending into a much larger crowd and you couldn’t find their faces at the lunch tables in between all the strangers so you took up eating in the watch tower.

there you could look out beyond the gates and pretend things were still the same, listening to the sounds of daryl working on his bike below you and wondering if he was avoiding the change too.

then the prison fell and you were on your own for a long time, longer than you think you’ve ever been alone before.

eventually you were stumbling upon carol and tyreese with judith and you opened your mouth just for no sound to come out. it took a long time for you to remember how to speak or maybe gather up the courage but they were patient with you and the four of you managed to get to where the universe needed you to be.

your first sound in what felt like years only bubbled past your lips when you saw a familiar frame leaning against a tree, not even realizing you had shouted his name until he was spinning around with a jolt.

his eyes softened and his entire body seemed to sink like he was wanting to curl into himself and for a second you wondered if you had forgotten something important about your relationship with him, the same something that led to you shouting his name and meeting him halfway for a hug that rattled the breath from every part of your lungs.

you considered the fact that this could very well be your first ever time deliberately touching let alone hugging like it was a common occurrence.

he was pulling back to look at you and the tears in his eyes mirrored your own, cupping his cheek for a few breaths before you let him welcome the others approaching slowly from behind you.

there was no talk of the interaction after that outside of a curious glance or two sent your way from the red headed man standing pointedly behind rick as you greeted him with a less warm hug.

you fell quickly into the routine of being on the road and surviving day to day and now it felt like woodbury citizens in the cafeteria all over again although this time, you were the fresh face.

your first few days in alexandria were spent sitting on the roof of one of the unused houses and looking out at the neighborhood, trying to memorize which clean cut couple belonged to which copy and pasted house. nobody ever seemed to notice your surveillance and if they did then they didn’t dare say anything about it.

deanna had asked in your intake interview if you were a student before the world ended, shed taken on a sweet and motherly tone that reminded you of overly antsy guidance counselors and your mouth curled into a grimace. she seemed thrown off by the bite on your words as you responded with something snarkier than you intended.

maybe it was after that that you finally noticed daryl again, almost as if it was the first time.

he was leaning against the stark white railing of your shared housing when you arrived back from the questioning, seemingly staring out at nothing other than the large metal gate surrounding you and blocking out the rest of the world.

you felt a surge of warmth when you took in the sight of him there, every bit as dirty and rugged as he had been when you were eating unspeakable things for days on end. he didn’t look like he had access to unheard of luxuries like a warm shower and the ability to relax his tense shoulders and the familiarity was intoxicating enough that you stalked your way up towards him.

his eyes drifted towards you without any shift of expression until he realized you weren’t going to pass him and head inside.

“can’t sleep?” you felt dumb for asking the question as soon as you heard it, already well aware of his problems with ever resting.

he didn’t react like it was stupid and actually gave you a quick nod instead of the typical grunt of agreement you had come to expect from him by now.

“me neither.” your voice was soft as always and he almost wanted to lean in to hear it better, like the wind would somehow be able to take it away before it could reach him.

there was a sickness settling low in his stomach that always seemed to creep up whenever he spent too long looking at you just like he was now, fascinated by both your clean skin and the way the moonlight played off of it.

it’s been such a long time since he saw you this put together that he almost couldn’t remember what it had been like, if you always had that mole near your eye or if your hair had gotten a shade or two lighter.

“you doing okay?” you moved closer to him as you asked and he didn’t let his gaze shift from you, like he was worried you’d disappear if he did for even a moment.

“s alright.” his response was about as informative as you expected it to be but you didn’t need to hear him say it out loud for you to understand what he was feeling, the look in his eyes loud and strikingly familiar.

there was a clear show of upset beneath the sea of blue and you could almost see the walls he was building up higher and higher every passing minute spent in the pristine neighborhood. looking at daryl this closely was like staring down a trapped tiger, only if you were inside the cage with him.

you weren’t sure why your hand was coming out to land on his arm, squeezing it in what you thought might’ve been reassurance.

his blue was darkening at that and you felt like there could have been a million reasons for why. none of them were strong enough that you removed your hand and you only stopped staring at each other when the front door was opening and rick was coming out on the porch.

you didn’t realize how close you’d gotten to him or how intimate the moment might have came across until you saw the look flash across ricks face, something suspicious and prying that made you feel like you got caught committing a crime. it didn’t help that it was possible somebody would consider what you were thinking fitting in that category.

while it wasn’t actually a crime, it was still taboo enough that you were instinctively taking a few steps back from the older man.

daryl on the other hand was completely rigid now that you weren’t alone anymore, worsening when carol was following behind rick and he suddenly felt very crowded. the animosity was building back up now that he saw them in their perfectly ironed clothes with that same look he’d caught from rick a handful of times before.

he loved rick like a brother and his opinion on him mattered more than he liked to admit, more like a dogs owner than a friend hence why he felt a strong wave of insecurity and resentment as he recognized the expression. it was the same one he had back when daryl was screaming at the wind and impulsively pulling his bow up to his forehead and the same one he had when he left with merle after woodbury.

the same one he had whenever they caught eyes after daryl had watched you for too long in a room full of other people.

the two started to talk and you watched as they roped daryl into a hushed conversation about the state of things and some concerns they had moving forward, most of it was lost on you considering you were watching the side of his face more than you were paying attention and before you knew it they were leaving again.

carol lingered by the door and she turned to give you a heavy look that you only slightly understood was her telling you she wanted you to follow her inside.

you were reluctant as you took a step forward but there was something in the back of your mind that knew it wasn’t a good idea to stay, sparing one last look at him over your shoulder before you were passing back through the door.

——

there was no shortage of whispers floating around through the people of alexandria and you weren’t sure if they were terrible at whispering or if they simply had no regard to the fact you clearly could hear them.

you ignored it all for the most part because you could sympathize with them just enough to excuse it, thinking of them as children who were getting used to a new routine which wasn’t too far off from the truth considering their abilities.

it only really seemed to strike a nerve in you when you heard what they said about daryl.

nobody seemed to actually know his name as they whispered and gossiped but you could tell who they were talking about easily based off description alone. the situation with glenn and deanna’s son certainly hadn’t helped his already lacking image, having to be held back by rick like he was a rabid dog waiting to snap.

you told yourself that the building roar of their sideways glances and disapproving looks was what lead you to seek him out again, no other reason.

he was harder to find this time, abandoning his post on your porch most likely due to how exposed it was to people walking past and attempting to make excruciating small talk.

eventually you managed to find him by the back corner of the wall, tucked behind some construction equipment with his back pressed against the metal that walkers were currently clawing at like they could somehow sense him sitting on the other side. his head was bowed as he fiddled with something wooden but you could tell he knew you were approaching.

his ears were too finely tuned for you to ever truly sneak up on him and you assumed he already learned all of your individual walking patterns a long time ago.

“there you are.” you still decided to make yourself known officially as you slid down the wall to sit beside him, feeling the grate of the metal pressing into your back uncomfortably. you knew he wasn’t out here seeking comfort so you didn’t bother adjusting your position at all. “was starting to think you scaled the wall or something.”

he didn’t even look up at you when you spoke or sat down but now he was sending a glance your way and scoffing a halfway laugh at your attempt to joke around.

his shoulders seemed to tense when made eye contact and although he had initially planned to look away it was almost like his brain had different ideas.

the sun had started to set only a few minutes ago so the golden warmth was taking over your features and that familiar sick feeling was creeping back up inside of him. he still couldn’t quite place what it was sourcing from, maybe guilt at where his mind commonly went when looking at you or possibly just pure longing raking through his system.

“you found me.” his voice was as low as it always the was but for some reason it had you practically preening, his thick accent surpassing your light twang by miles and reminding you of just how backwood raised he truly was.

you wondered if there would ever come a time where it would make sense for you to tell him just how much you appreciated the slice of home you found in little things like the words he used or small gestures.

you couldn’t help but ponder further about a time you could show him just how much you liked a man who knew how to handle himself with a little dirt and grime. there was little you found more attractive than a truly southern boy but a southern man was just about as dead on as it got.

“let me find you more?” your head titled at the suggestion and his eyes squinted just enough for your lip to curl up in amusement. you thought you were smooth with the way your hand landed on his forearm like you were scolding him for the expression but both of you felt the weight of the decision to leave it resting there. “i know it’s been hard to adjust.”

“ain’t hard.” he was quick to bite back and deny the idea of him having a difficult time, something nasty settling in his chest at the thought of you finding him weak or incapable.

your eyebrows moved in a way that told him you didn’t believe him but you didn’t bother verbally disagreeing. your hand was moving lightly up his arm and stopping to cup his elbow for a few seconds, shifting it so he would put down the wood stick he was carving into an arch.

he surprised you by letting you move him and placing his knife on the ground so you could touch him easier, innocent enough with just your hand caressing up to his bicep but the look in your eyes was anything but.

“was such a shame that rick came outside last night.” your voice was almost a whisper now and he stayed silent and still as he let you speak, almost like a confessional. you didn’t need to give anymore context around the statement but you wanted to make sure there was no room for misinterpretation. “ive always liked being alone with you.”

daryl found that ironic because he couldn’t really think of a time that you had been alone together and that was something he didn’t think he would forget easily.

it was almost embarrassing how willing he was to let you touch him now when he probably would have been halfway across the neighbor by now if you’d tried this a few months ago, eyes darting around to make sure nobody had seen the two of you even conversing let alone touching.

maybe it was the loneliness you both shared while adjusting to your new world or maybe it was the fact that he was being judged already but it seemed like a door had been opened now.

“why’s that?” he knew he shouldn’t have opened it any wider with the question but he was almost aching to hear your answer, hear anything that would solidify he wasn’t alone in this.

“you look at me different when we’re alone.” you sounded so sure in your words that he figured it must be true although he might’ve believed anything you said right now, especially since your hand had been squeezing the width of his bicep while you whispered.

he should’ve felt sick at the confirmation that you had noticed what he’d been both ignoring and actively attempting to stop but instead he was stuck in a cloudy haze of willingness to do anything you asked him to.

you weren’t as bent out of shape about this as he was but you supposed there was less consequences on your end. you were the young one between you, innocent and taken advantage of if anything went wrong although you had quickly pieced together that daryl more accurately fit that role.

when rick gave that heavy look last night and the times before, it wasn’t you that he was judging and it wasn’t you that was getting the silent warning to not go through with whatever it was that would happen.

you wondered if it would matter to him to see how the two of you looked now, you slightly leaning onto the older man with a predatory look in your eye while he was nearly shaking from a light touch on his arm.

there was no response to your words and you didn’t wait around for one, relishing in how easy it was to get him to fall silent.

“do you want to know how i look at you?” your low purr was getting to him now and he almost started to think he might’ve not woken up this morning, still back at the house sleeping on the couch and imagining a world where you’d be touching him and whispering this close to his face.

he was quick to nod stiffly but you could see his eyes flash with both expectation and nervousness.

“i think you could make me feel good, better than anybody else here could at least.” you didn’t bother building up to it, wanting him to know how you felt with no more room for misinterpreting. “i look at you like you’re a pervert because i am one too.”

his chest tightened at the use of the word and the way your lips looked forming it, you knew you’d gone too far when you felt him tensing under your touch but it only brought your smile further up on your lips. it would be a lot easier if he were to just accept the fact that this was wrong yet he still wanted it and you could jumpstart that by speaking the unspoken.

daryl was furrowing his eyebrows and cocking his head like you’d wounded him and you stayed seated as he grunted before shifting so he could stand up, looking back at the houses before glancing towards you again.

he surprised you by offering you a hand up and you accepted it, letting him pull you and shamelessly stumbling into his chest.

there was no more words spoken between you and you followed him back to the neighborhood, feeling almost like you’d been scolded by his silence. it was hard for you to care completely considering your firm belief that he would let you do what you wanted regardless but it didn’t necessarily feel good to upset him.

you stayed directly behind him when you approached the house, sneakily grabbing onto his wrist and pulling it behind him so you could hold his hand. he didn’t even spare you a glance back but now the limb was dangling between your bodies and you smiled at the back of his head.

he was shocking himself by not immediately snatching his hand away when he felt your skin touching his again, now in a much more damning area where anybody could walk by and see.

he wondered if they’d possibly think something else first, maybe he was your mentor and you had a close relationship or possibly some actual relation between you. his mouth turned down in a scowl when he remembered what type of man he looked like and what people assumed about him off of a first view.

it made him sicker to realize that he was proving them all right.

you cut in front of him so you could enter the door first and he instinctively brought a hand down to your waist so you didn’t bump into each other, guiding you inside and ignoring the light giggle you let out at the contact.

he was surprised when you tended up and froze just past the doorway, his chest colliding with your back. although it wasn’t hard enough to knock you over, he still placed his other hand across from the first to steady you in place and help you get your balance.

it wasn’t until both of his hands were holding onto your hips that he realized you weren’t alone in the living room and you had frozen because of the multiple pairs of eyes on you.

rosita and tara barely looked like they processed the two of you standing there let alone cared about your usual closeness and abraham had an almost amused look in his eye at the way daryl was racing to put his hands back at his side and step backwards against the door to put some distance between you.

the fourth expression was not as forgiving and you felt a pit in your stomach as you looked at carol and her stone cold stare.

you couldn’t quite read her but you were wrestling between it being disgust or disappointment, either way she clearly wasn’t happy about whatever it was that had been slowly building up since you arrived.

would it matter if you tried to explain to her how you’d always been curious about the older man and it was driving you past the point of crazy to ignore it? could her opinion sway if you told her about the ache in your chest every time he went away for too long and how the only thing that stopped your overwhelming loneliness in this new place was how familiar he felt.

she didn’t need to know the perversion behind your every action because it was rooted in something deeper.

you didn’t just want daryl, you felt like you needed him or you atleast needed him to keep looking at you the way he did. never in your life had a man made you feel like he craved you just from a glance, putting you on a pedestal without ever actually praising you.

he was clearing his throat gruffly behind you and you could hear him going to step out from being your frame, an embarrassed heat waving through you that sent you speed walking upstairs and away from the peering eyes.

——

carol was locked in her own thoughts now as she moved through her days with a practiced smile and the faux lightness of a woman who hadn’t done the things she had.

her mind was almost too occupied to keep up her act around the alexandrians so she found herself at the house more often although the setting only made her feel more on edge.

she felt like she was reviewing years worth of catalogs and searching for hidden easter eggs that she must have missed back then due to grief, exhaustion or sheer ignorance. then again was it ignorance to trust the intentions of the people around you?

despite actively thinking back on your every interaction, she couldn’t think of a time where she had ever seen a fleeting touch or a heavy glance that made her gut sink like it had recently. she wondered if she was just placing more importance to it now that there was years worth of down time, boredom creeping up inside her for the first time since the beginning.

maybe it was possible that the gossiping housewives and lack of immediate danger was getting to her and there was no longing in the way her friend looked at you.

she figured she must be right when a few days passed without seeing you so much as speaking to daryl. even when the entire core of the group was standing close and discussing important paths and angles, she never noticed your eyes drifting in his direction like she had before.

there was no harm in you having a small crush on the older man in fact she had found it sort of cute back when she would catch you watching him a bit too heavily at the prison or the hours she’d see you pacing nervously as he went out hunting.

she’d even gone as far as to tease daryl about it on a watch shift one night, elbowing his side softly and raving about his secret admirer.

he had sent a light hearted glare her way before mumbling that she stops, tone in the air more humorous than as if he’d been caught in something. she hadn’t thought twice about it then and she felt guilt for doing so now when nothing had really changed.

carol had just begun to doubt herself enough to push the thoughts from her mind fully when she turned a street corner and suddenly saw you there.

at first it was just you, small frame and big peering eyes that always made you look even younger than you already were. you looked relaxed and almost amused, certainly not like somebody who was doing something wrong so she nearly doubled over in shock when she took a few steps further.

and there it was.

the moment clicked in her head and solidified something she’d been afraid to ever say outside of her own mind.

daryl was standing infront of you and he wasn’t touching you but the look in his eyes was more than enough, not to mention the fact he was allowing your hand to be placed on his chest with your fingers rubbing over the loose thread on the hem of his vest.

the act could’ve been innocent flirting or even just a routine show of closeness if it was between anybody else but he was staring down at you like there was nothing else in the world that mattered and she didn’t even want to picture what your gaze was saying in return.

somebody was calling her name from down the street and she turned instinctively with a warm smile, pushing down the darkness that had just hit her hard in the stomach as quickly as it came.

——

daryl didn’t seem to mind the fact that you’d been ignoring him for a handful of days and you were starting to wonder if there was anything you could do that would upset him.

hed barely reacted when you cornered him on one of the stairways as he was passing by, not seeing you sitting there just off in the shadows until he was feeling a hand wrap softly around his wrist to tug him backwards.

panic had ripped through him and his entire body squared up like he was ready to fight before he heard your soft laughter, spinning around so he could see you and ignoring the amused look you were sending him.

he knew that you knew better than to grab him out of nowhere like that but you clearly didn’t care, liking how easily he got riled up and how quickly he jumped straight to defensive.

you were pulling him in with a hand on his vest and he did nothing but watch you, holding him in place once you got him as close as you wanted. the point of your boots was touching his and you had to crane your neck to look at him, smiling when you saw he was already looking back and not avoiding your gaze.

“do i make you nervous?” your voice was quiet and you were asking it in a way that somebody could assume you meant just now with the way you had grabbed him but he knew better.

he was shaking his head swiftly and you watched his familiar habit of biting the inside of his lip. you were curious if he ever wanted to say more than he did or if he preferred the short responses that always left you prying for more.

“did you miss me?” your eyes seemed somehow wider than they already were normally and he knew right away that he was trapped in them. your hand slid under the leather of his vest and even though he still had a shirt separating your touch, it felt overly intimate. “i missed you.”

“didn’t go nowhere.” his low tone vibrated your hand on his chest and you pouted up at him, hearing him sigh softly like he wasn’t sure what he was meant to say to please you.

instead of saying anything he opted for something that came easier, bringing a hand to your lower back despite the way his heart started to beat sickeningly fast. your shirt was tight enough that it had slightly ridden up on your stomach and he could feel the bare skin above the hem of your jeans, his thumb instinctively rubbing over the smoothness.

“that’s not the point.” you knew you were whining slightly but you couldn’t bring yourself to care especially since it seemed like he almost liked it.

a door was opening and shutting somewhere nearby and you had half the mind to take a few steps back from him, smiling widely when he immediately followed you. being this close to eachother was addicting and you were glad to see he was starting to care less about being caught by somebody.

“can we talk later?” you knew your face was getting far too close to his but he couldn’t think of anything outside of your breath on his cheek and your leg almost in between his as you leaned against the wall.

“can talk now.” he was desperate for even a few more seconds with you and didn’t care if it was pathetic to be his age and practically salivating for something as simple as a tension filled talk.

“i know that.” you huffed and he was suddenly reminded of how cute you were. it was easy to forget amidst all of your lustful eyes and the low purr your voice had almost permanently taken on but there it was again. “i was thinking something a bit more private.”

private meant that you wouldn’t be looking over his shoulder like a sudden judging crowd might’ve gathered and private also meant he wouldn’t have to think twice if he wanted to do something.

he was nodding albeit hesitantly both because he wasn’t necessarily sure what he was agreeing to and because he didn’t want the conversation to end already.

you either picked up on that or you simply felt the same on your end because you were still standing there and watching him, keeping a hand on his chest but using the other one to brush some of his hair out of his face.

it felt ridiculous and extremely juvenile but he liked it and you knew he did. you were completely fascinated by the dynamic you’d taken on and you smiled at him before using your hand on his chest to push him backwards.

he allowed you to move him and he stumbled a bit over his own feet, barely collecting himself by the time you were giving him one more smile and passing him. he spun around to watch you leave and he let out a sigh when you didn’t look back.

——

your plans to talk to daryl privately were slightly pushed back by the sudden announcement of a party for your group and the towns people to mingle.

nobody else seemed as thrown off by the news so you figured it had been something that was previously mentioned and you had ignored. you had zero intentions on actually preparing for it and attending but rick gave you a knowing glare and sternly told you everybody needed to be there.

you supposed there wouldn’t be many more occasions that required you to put on a pretty dress and drink something cheap and nasty so you went.

you actually managed to trick yourself into having a good time for the first hour even though people who attempted to converse with you quickly realized your biting tone and harsh words didn’t at all match your friendly and youthful face.

it took a handful of older women walking away from you with sour expressions before your leader was approaching you.

“are you trying to scare them off?” he seemed like he was joking but you knew there was some warning to his words, sighing softly and shrugging.

“im not but it’s ridiculous. they all talk to me like im a child.” you realized how ironic it was that you were upset about such a thing while practically whining to him but you couldn’t be bothered to care.

rick gave you another stern look and you felt even more pouty now that you were being scolded, suddenly feeling extremely out of place in your tight dress and clean hair. you missed the ache in your muscles after a hard day and the exhaustion that would easily take you to sleep.

it was hard being surrounded by people who had the luxury of tossing and turning and feeling confident enough to approach a stranger at a party.

“im going to get some air.” you felt like the room around you had lost all oxygen and luckily rick seemed to preoccupied by the sight of one of the neighborhood wives and her husband to convince you to stay and try some more.

there was very little in your way from the wall you’d been leaning on to the front door but it still felt like miles before you made it outside, immediately taking a deep breath in and shaking your head at yourself.

your gaze shot up to some movement in the trees across the street and you froze when you saw his familiar frame there lurking, clearly not expecting anybody to come out and see him before he could make his escape.

you were quick to make your way down the stairs and cross the asphalt to him, stopping in the middle of the street to take off your heels with a groan. daryl watched you as you got closer and didn’t at all question why you were throwing your arms around his neck and bringing him in for a hug.

it was probably the first time you’d ever hugged so intentionally and you frowned into his neck when you noticed how clean he smelt.

“you showered?” you were pulling your head away from the warmth of his skin to look at him, faces close enough that your nose bumped against his when you spoke.

he grunted slightly like he wasn’t sure how to answer your question but you were already looking down and studying his outfit. it was everything daryl typically wore but suddenly his buttons were done all the way and his vest looked like he’d at least attempted to scrub some of the debris off.

“oh.” your mouth parted and he looked away from you in embarrassment, for the first time wishing you would let go of him and stop looking at him that way. “you look hot.”

your words were far too blunt and he scoffed out a laugh before lightly pushing you off of him, suddenly remembering you were very much visible to anybody who left the party or even looked out the front window for too long. you frowned at him but it was lighthearted, wrapping your hands around his arm and hugging it against you.

he followed you when you started to drag him forward and now the two of you were walking together with his arm pinned to your chest.

“you clean up nice dixon but i kind of miss the dirt.” you were still talking and you could almost feel him rolling his eyes, smiling at yourself and the fact he was willing to be seen with you so publicly.

not everybody was at the party and it was very likely you’d cross paths with someone on your way home but there you were, holding onto his arm and both dressed nicely like you were coming home from a date night.

you almost scowled when you heard a voice coming from one of the porches, feeling daryl immediately tense up like he had only just realized what you’d been thinking about the entire time. you squeezed his arm tighter so he wouldn’t be able to pull away and you planted a fake smile on your face as you turned to face aaron.

you’d barely heard what he was saying but you could feel daryl talking stiffly due to how close you were standing, catching on that you were being invited inside for dinner.

somehow instead of getting to be alone with daryl you were now sitting across from aaron and his boyfriend who kept sending you big awkward smiles while you tried your best not to glare at them.

you knew the man next to you had quite a reputation but the couple was thrown off by your demeanor now that they were finally actually interacting with you. it was almost cute how much you were like a disgruntled cats of sorts, making the archer seem something close to friendly in comparison.

you let the three of them talk amongst themselves while you silently ate the (admittedly delicious) spaghetti.

“how long have you been together?”

that caused your head to snap up and finally check in to the conversation, looking between the two and waiting for the punch line to roll out. you were confused when you were only greeted by an expectant silence and gentle curious gazes.

there was no disgust behind the words or hidden intentions to trap you into a confession of sorts. the pair almost seemed like the were excited by the idea of you being a couple.

“what?” daryl had stopped eating and responded before he even swallowed the noodles in his mouth, tone low and dangerous like he was daring them to repeat it.

“oh im sorry we just assumed.” aaron looked genuinely apologetic of what his boyfriend had said and your eyebrows furrowed together, nudging daryl harshly under the table. “you seem so close.”

“we are.” it was the first thing you’d said all night and all three pairs of eyes turning towards you looked surprised. “we’ve been together almost since the beginning.”

it technically wasn’t a lie considering that was when you had met and started to be together in a sense but you knew it wasn’t what they had meant. you felt a light amusement when you saw the way daryl was looking at you, pure panic behind the mask of a still face and you gripped his hand that was resting on the table to really drive the idea home.

“i think it’s wonderful. the end of the world bringing unlikely pairs together.” aarons boyfriend didn’t seem to know when to shut his mouth and you almost admired the ability. it took a sort of bravery to be so socially checked out and you winced at him while attempting to smile.

you wondered what he meant by unlikely and if he knew how insulting it sounded at first. did he say that because your obvious age difference or was it something else?

daryl cleared his throat and while anyone else would assume he was going to finally speak, you knew better and could tell he was simply feeling uncomfortable.

apparently aaron did too because he was quick to change the subject and you were once again tuning out the conversation and going back to your food, not even realizing how much time had passed until it was time to leave.

daryl didn’t argue when you grabbed his hand on the way out the door and you managed to smile and wave at the couple who came out onto the porch to watch you go.

he let you practically drag him back to the house and you were relieved to see the lights still off inside, clambering up the porch and standing still for a few seconds in the entryway in an attempt to hear if anybody was home.

silence replied back to you and you turned to look at him, once again struck by how handsome he looked dressed up for the night. you could tell he didn’t want to look like he had made an effort but you knew it was all intentional and that daryl secretly wanted to be the type of guy who attended the party.

maybe you could delude yourself into thinking he wanted to go solely because you were going to be there.

you grabbed both of his hands in yours and pulled him further into the house, bumping against the kitchen wall but still tugging until he was pressing against you.

you’d had every intention to actually speak him tonight and explain why you’d been avoiding him and what you wanted to do moving forward but it was almost like the universe was telling you to forget about everything when it put him in this outfit.

his eyes darkened when your hand went to cup his cheek, the other in his hair and running through it softly. you were glad you hadn’t turned the big lights on because he looked particularly alluring only lit by the orange dusted lamp in the corner.

“why’d you lie to aaron.” his voice was cutting through your thoughts and you paused to look over his curious expression. you felt like it was your first time hearing him speak every time you did and you wondered when that feeling would go away.

“it’s fun to pretend.” your answer was simple enough and seemed to satisfy him for now because he just hummed back at you and subconsciously leaned against your palm that was warm on his cheek. “don’t you think so?”

he didn’t say anything but you didn’t want him to and you were leaning forward until your nose was bumping his again like it had earlier.

daryl was bringing a hand to your side and your mouth parted at the feeling of him squeezing it, nodding your head in encouragement and getting dizzy over how close you were right now.

your lips ghosted over his but you didn’t kiss him just yet, reclining and soaking up the way he immediately followed your mouth forward in an attempt to keep you close. you were practically stamped against the wall and his heavy weight against you was causing a low heat to simmer in your gut.

“cmon.” the unexpected encouragement from him was all you needed to finally surge forward and bring your lips onto his.

you let out an immediate whine both at the taste of him and the fact his hands were wrapping around your lower back to tug you impossibly closer in a surge of desire now that you were finally kissing. your mouths moved together feverishly and there was no room for romance, pure desperation and built up want being let out.

your head was turning to allow him better access and he grateful took it, a low noise coming from his chest when your tongue was swiping against his bottom lip.

it was addicting to be here with him like this and you knew right away that this was going to become a real problem. you weren’t sure it was possible to ever stop kissing him let alone keep it only for the rare times you got to be alone together.

you were already risking everything by doing it in such an open place with the chance of anybody returning at any given moment now that the night was coming to an end but there was no world where you could stop to relocate.

daryl was kissing you harder and harder like he was trying to bring you back from your thoughts and you whined softly again, setting off an entirely new monster in him that he decided to deal with later on.

“don’t stop.” your voice was breathy and wanting but the sound of it made him pause, hearing the high tone and the innocence hidden under your sensual drag.

you frowned at his sudden hesitance after an entire night of finally playing along with your desire but you weren’t going to give up that easy, bringing your lips to his jaw and moaning softly at the feeling of his stubble on your tongue.

it was driving you crazy to be with somebody as manly as he was and you were once again reminded of the differences between you. your small frame was completely covered by his broad shoulders and his hands felt rough and weathered on your smooth skin, size difference alone being enough to fan the familiar heat in your stomach.

“fuck please just kiss me.” you were pulling your lips away from his hot skin to look at him and you could see the inner conflict, almost feel it coming off of him in harsh waves. “you’ve got me, right here where i know you want me. just take it.”

he was kissing you again and it was halfway just to shut you up before he couldn’t control himself anymore, attempting to simultaneously silence the guilt eating away at him.

was it as wrong if you were here begging for it like you’d die if he didn’t give you what you wanted? maybe he wasn’t as disgusting for simply doing what you asked him so nicely to do.

there was very little that could happen right now that could make you pull away from him and you were starting to think you wouldn’t care if your entire group walked in right now and caught you pinned against the wall.

he was plagued with the thoughts of this potentially being your first ever kiss and then immediately disgusted with himself when he realized he really liked that idea.

daryl was not a bad man and he’d been repeating it to himself since the moment you started wearing short shorts in the summer and lingering near him far too often. he wasn’t a bad man but he wasn’t a particularly strong one either so he gave you exactly what you wanted.

——

it hadn’t gone too far past making out with an excessive amount of heavy petting before the sounds of tipsy laughter approaching the house tore you away from eachother but you caught his eye as you fell asleep that night and fell asleep easily.

things sped up from there and daryl felt constantly overwhelmed by your presence, never getting used to the way you’d drag him around a corner to get a few kisses in or the way you’d touch his side as you passed by.

your group was settling into their new roles and he was finding himself constantly occupied by thoughts of you to the point where he couldn’t care about anything else.

he’d barely even flinched at news of a run gone slightly sour and his jaw didn’t twitch when he heard snide remarks being passed his way. nothing mattered the second your encapsulating gaze met his and it was starting to worry him.

rick must have noticed something was wrong because he started to check in on him more, firm hand on his shoulder as he asked for the dozenth time if he was actually alright. he couldn’t figure out what was bugging his friend but he knew it must be serious.

it was almost comical how he didn’t even have half an idea just how serious it really was.

he figured he possibly had gone crazy when he saw you talking to one of the men from alexandria. he didn’t know his name and it certainly didn’t matter now because all he cared about was the way you were playing up your soft giggles and peering up with those familiar big eyes.

the man was clearly younger than daryl but still far too old to be looking at you the way he was (he was aware of the irony of this thought).

it was possible you weren’t trying to flirt and just making conversation with your sweet tone that would trick anybody into thinking they were special but daryl had a front row seat to what a lonely man thought while looking down at you like that and his stomach turned.

he hadn’t felt pure rage like this in a long time, maybe ever, and it was reminiscent of some part of his genetics he had tried to kill off and bury.

did you not care he was watching you from the seat of his motorcycle? there was no way you simply were ignorant to the fact because you had to know he was always watching.

all it took to get him to swing his leg off the bike and storm his way over to you was the mans hand touching your elbow and your eyebrows furrowing slightly at the unwanted touch. daryl was pushing his way between him and you before you even processed he was there and you could see his anger from his back alone.

“back up.” his voice was the lowest you’d heard it and you froze a bit at the realization he was genuinely upset.

“woah buddy relax.” the man didn’t seem at all willing to stand down from the situation and you started to feel a flutter of panic, hand reaching forward to grab daryl’s bicep and flinching slightly when he roughly shrugged you off of him.

you were peering around the side of his large frame to see the other man clearly sizing him up with a look of disgust and amusement on his face. it was obvious he didn’t find daryl worthy of whatever connection to you he had and you started to look around you with a flustered expression.

relief surged through you when you saw rick and abraham taking notice of how close the two were standing and as soon as your leader saw your face he was quickly speed walking over to you.

“touch her again. see what happens to you.” the threat was obvious and daryl didn’t bother pretending he was above hurting the man, not even caring that rick and abe were close enough to catch what he was growling out now.

rick was pushing a hand against his chest and sending him a few steps backwards, narrowly missing you as abraham helped lightly pull out of the way. your feelings were hurt a little when he didn’t attempt to remove his friends touch like he had yours but you figured now wasn’t the time to get upset over such a small detail.

“we’re not doing this.” his voice was as strong and commanding as it always was and you felt immediately scolded when he turned to glare at you briefly.

he wasn’t quite getting the full scope of the situation but it was finally hitting him now that there was something much deeper between you and the archer than he had previously understood.

“tell her guard dog.” the man from before, almost forgotten by you in the tense moment, was eager to get another jab in and your mouth parted almost prematurely as daryl went to lunge at him with an angry grunt.

abraham was quick to grab the guy and restrain him while rick did his best to keep daryl on his side of the scuffle and your hands came up to your mouth in shock, not seeing such a blatant display of aggression from him in a long time.

rick sent you a stern look that you immediately took as an order and you swallowed harshly before moving forward and wrapping your hands around his arm again, grateful that he didn’t force you off of him again.

you almost wished he had because the frustration and hurt in his face when he turned to look at you broke your heart and he was storming off before you even had a chance to speak.

you were just as quick to follow behind him witn quiet shouts of his name, not wanting to draw anymore attention to yourselves than what you already had.

he didn’t stop walking until he was in between two of the empty houses, pacing back and forth and breathing so heavily his entire chest was heaving. you frowned seeing him in this state and you let him have a few seconds before you were approaching him again.

“daryl.” your voice was soft and his head snapped over to you immediately, seeing your concern and stepping towards you so he could hold your face in his large hands.

he was almost inspecting you like he wasn’t sure you were okay and you felt ridiculous considering nothing had actually happened to you. you’d been the one to upset him and almost get him hurt (even though you imagined he would have had that guy on his ass in seconds if rick hadn’t shown up).

“im sorry, we were just talking and he must’ve gotten the wrong idea.” truthfully you knew better and knew what you were saying wasn’t the full story. you really had been innocently talking to the man in an attempt to borrow some spare parts for daryl’s bike project but you knew what men thought of you.

“not your fault.” his voice was quiet and you felt overwhelming relief to hear him finally talking in that sweet tone he reserved just for you. “dudes a pig.”

he was still cupping your face and you had to practically push against his hands to be able to lean up and kiss him, sweetly moving your lips against his without any real heat behind it.

you smiled into the kiss when he stumbled backwards and took you with him, bumping into his chest when his back hit the wall of the house. then his hands were moving to your waist and that low heat was back tenfold.

“so sexy how you protect me.” your voice was breathy from kissing and you opened your eyes to look into his as you spoke, wanting him to see the heat in your gaze. your hand was smoothing over his stomach and you could feel him harshly inhaling. “would you have hurt him?”

he didn’t respond right away but he grabbed your face again to bring you back in for another brushing kiss and you whined softly at the sudden force behind it, moving sloppily against each other to keep up the pace.

his other hand moved from your waist down to the hem of your shorts, high on your thigh and granting him an overdosing amount of skin to grab onto when he was gripping the back of it and bringing it up to rest on his hip.

“would you have killed him for me?” your eyes looked manic when you pulled off again to question him more firmly, not letting him distract you without an answer this time around.

he felt a surge of confusion at your sudden intense line of questioning and then he noticed how quick your breath was and how you were having a hard time keeping your hips still against his, quickly realizing what it was that was happening to you.

you were actually turned on by the thought of him hurting somebody for you.

every part of him knew he should be alarmed by that and he definitely should not find it as enticing as he did but it was impossible considering he knew his answer as soon as you had asked it.

“anything.” he wasn’t a man of many words but you knew exactly what he meant and you smiled at him, nodding in approval before you were kissing him again.

he wasn’t sure if he felt relaxed knowing that he couldn’t scare you off with admitting a thing like that or if there was something wrong with him, something important that he was lacking inside himself that didn’t immediately cause him to push you off and tell you not to ask him questions like that.

the truth was that he had meant what hed said with every fiber of his being and he knew long before he accepted it that he would do absolutely anything to keep you safe, to keep you feeling good and keep you looking at him the way you did.

[agnireed]

Anything specific you guys want to see me write?

[agnireed]

IN THE DARK

summary 🏹 you end up with daryl after the fall of the prison and the isolation starts making you see the older man differently

word count 🏹 6.7k

warnings 🏹 large age gap (reader is 21), daryl is very conflicted in his feelings, using sex to cope with grief, non descriptive smut, daryl doesnt talk much

the blazing campfire was doing very little to thaw the complete icy cold your heart was currently struggling with.

you’d never felt a loss as substantial as this, something so monumental that you couldn’t even process it’s reality. there was no chance you were going to be able to fathom the grief you were carrying now that the prison had fallen along with the majority of your group, now and possibly forever.

your only reminder of what you once had was currently sitting across from you, eyes pointed down at the dirt instead of the fire that was painting his tan skin a deep and earthy shade of orange.

daryl hadn’t spoken a word since you had ran from the prison together and you’d almost grown concerned about the state of your hearing until you finally settled down and focused in on the crackling of the flames and the chirping of the bugs around you.

you had nearly missed him in the initial chaos, running any direction your body carried you without rhyme or reason, simply attempting to flee from the sounds of gunfire and the building roar of walkers. you’d barely made it into the tree line outside the gates when you heard heavy footsteps behind you, spinning around with your knife up only to drop it completely when you saw his concerned face.

he had spared a pained look back at the burning prison before approaching you and wrapping a hand tightly around your wrist, giving you a grunt that let you know it was time to go.

that was the last noise you’d heard him make and the silence was starting to drive you crazy now.

you kept watching him with the same heavy gaze and you didn’t falter even when he was finally looking away from the floor and making eye contact with you. his body locked up even though he could already feel you watching him before he confirmed it and you cocked your head curiously.

daryl hadn’t been somebody you’d put much thought to until this exact moment where he was potentially the last person on earth.

he’d been in the group before you and he was there when rick found you, standing just a few paces behind him with his crossbow permanently drawn and aimed at you like you were a threat with your shaking knees and carved broomstick.

it had made slightly more sense when you were brought back to the small house they were temporarily shacked up in and greeted by the sight of a largely pregnant woman and a small child standing in the doorway.

you didn’t take his precaution personally and it wasn’t long before you were joining the group and finding the prison together, the trauma of clearing it and losing people in the process finishing off the bonding you all needed to be able to trust each other.

he was always somewhere off in the distance watching as people had hushed conversations or heavy glances passed through the hallways, eyes observing and seemingly waiting for something that you weren’t sure of. you’d heard from carol bits and pieces about his past and you quickly learned how skilled he was in numerous areas that you couldn’t begin to understand but your knowledge didn’t go far past that.

you imagined he felt similarly about you and you were more accurate than you even realized.

daryl was aware that you were quick on your feet and silent in a way that even he feared occasionally. sometimes you’d appear behind him or other members of the group and the sudden sound of your voice would almost make him jump.

you had the same youthfulness that beth and maggie carried but the similarities between you stopped there, something much heavier weighing down your shoulders than the sisters could relate to.

he was looking away from you again and you wondered if he was thinking about the same thing you were right now, pondering over how ridiculous it was that you two were paired up out of everybody inside those walls.

on one hand you were extremely grateful to be in the company of somebody that could undoubtedly handle himself but then there was the silence.

the silence was the exact thing that was driving you to stand up from the warmth of the fire and sigh softly before turning on your heels and venturing off into the darkness of the woods around you.

you knew it wasn’t the best idea to go wandering around in the dark so close to where the flames of the prison were still raging and drawing swarms of walkers but you could almost feel the grief taking over any sense and rational left inside you. you felt dead already and there was only a slight warmth going through your blood when you heard the sounds of daryl stomping out the fire behind you.

it was easier to hear him like this, back pressed against a tree as he tried his best to track you in the dark.

you could hear occasional twigs snapping under his heavy weight and ever so often your ears caught a frustrated grunt as he struggled to find you. the human sounds were almost addicting after the prolonged mute period he was presenting you and you held your breath when you heard him nearing you finally.

it must’ve been impossible by now to locate you but you figured somebody as experienced as daryl could atleast tell that you were still nearby, even if it was as simple as feeling your presence.

you’d managed to stay still long enough that your eyes adjusted to the dark just the right amount to be able to make out his frame passing you, shoulders wide and sturdy as he froze in place and looked around frantically again.

you could see the way his chest was rising and falling with trembling breaths, undoubtedly feeling some sort of fear from how shaky his inhale sounded. you knew he wasn’t fearful of his own fate and your head cocked at the idea he was potentially afraid to have lost you.

there was a slight lapse of judgement on your part as you took an instinctive step towards him and although your foot made no outward noise, his head snapped up and in your direction. you wondered if he could see you there now, pressed against the tree and starting to meet his heavy inhales.

neither of you spoke still but then he was turning around fully and walking towards you again, seconds from passing you once more before your hand was reaching out and wrapping around his elbow.

he flinched at the sudden contact but his body lost most of the tension when he realized the hand on his skin was warm and very much alive, understanding it was you before he could even see you.

he took a step sideways and now he was standing in front of you, chest still heaving but now you could tell it was from a much different emotion. he was furious with you for disappearing and yet he still hadn’t said a word, not even about the fact your hand was still touching his arm.

you could see his face clearly now and you were sure the same was true for him, gaze looking over the part in your lips as you took small breaths and the way your eyes seemed wider than normal as you stared up at him.

you’d never been this close to the older man before and you certainly hadn’t touched him outside of the occasionally helping hand up or light grip while riding on the back of his motorcycle. your hold on his arm had turned into your fingers slowly moving up and down in a soothing manner, head cocking again as you waited for him to pull away from you.

he didn’t but you could almost see the struggle in his eyes, locked onto yours almost unintentionally like he just couldn’t bring himself to look away.

your hand smoothed it’s way up his arm even further, taking a few seconds to squeeze and rub at the tensing muscles of his bicep. you were suddenly reminded of his strength, something that was easy enough to ignore when you were able to chalk it up to being a young girl with hormones that didn’t have a place to go.

it was simple enough to be entranced by the sight of him digging graves or working on his bike in those sleeveless shirts he was so fond of, an older man already gruff to the world long before it had fallen apart.

you were able to feel little guilt for staring longer than you probably should have, always fixing your gaze back to where it was supposed to be as you busied yourself with the task for the day or just quick enough to avoid getting caught watching him by somebody else.

it was strikingly obvious now that there was no more distractions and certainly nobody who would be able to judge you.

you could feel his eyes still on your face even though yours was locked on the sight of your hand wrapping around his arm, letting it remain there for a few seconds longer before you were moving it up to his hair. he finally released a sound at this and the low grunt that fell from his lips lit up a heat in you that felt almost dangerous.

every part of you was suddenly screaming that you needed to do whatever possible to keep that heat growing higher and higher, pushing it until it was hopefully reaching the painful ice that had completely taken over your heart.

he was tenser now but not enough that he could stop you from softly pulling his head down towards your shoulder, feeling his hair touch your skin at the same moment you were turning and whispering into his ear. the desperation caused you to speak despite the overwhelming risk that he would leave you there alone with the dying heat as soon as he remembered who he was in the dark with.

“you can touch me too” your voice was so quiet that you almost didnt hear it but you knew he had judging by the way his entire body locked up at the way you practically purred.

you let him lift his head just enough that he could look into your eyes again and you felt another surge of panic at the hesitation his face held, your free hand immediately landing on his chest and rubbing downwards on his stomach to try and distract him from the obvious issue with what you had just said.

another thing you had learned about daryl since meeting him was that he was a good man.

rude and abrasive were the easiest words to describe him but it was undeniable that he was one of the best hearts your group could offer. he was devoted and loyal and there was very little he wouldnt do for the people he cared about.

all this had been something you admired a few months ago but now you were overwhelmingly frustrated by just how good he was proving to be. you could think of many men that would kill to be in the postion he was in now, alone in the dark with a young girl who was clearly longing to feel just about anything.

it made your nose automatically scrunch up to imagine any of those men here with you now instead of him and he mustve misread your sudden expression because you could feel him going to pull away from you, a panicked breath leaving your lips as you tugged him back harder than you had meant to.

your back was hitting the tree harshly and you barely had time to wince at the bark cutting into your shirt before he was falling into you, clearly unintentional. he froze up again when he heard the gasp you let out at the feeling of his chest pressing against yours and your hand in his hair tightened automatically.

he surprised you by not pulling away or distancing himself and you met his gaze again, giving him an encouraging nod as you gently tugged at his arm in an attempt to pull it away from his side. he gave in to your small nudges but still didnt touch you like you were longing for, instead just watching you as you let out soft whines and tried to get his hand to rest against you in any way.

“please.” it was the softest plea you could muster and the sound went directly to his defense, crumbling it almost completly as your wide eyes started to tear up. he was completely baffled that you were being brought to tears from how needy you were, desperate to be touched by him to the point that you were nearly forcing it.

finally he was caving in just enough to attempt to calm you down and you let out a shaky breath when his hand was landing on your side, feeling the dip of your waist and averting his gaze from yours now that he was responding to your advances.

your mouth parted again when he was squeezing your side almost absentmindely, massaging the soft flesh and letting out a low noise from the back of his throat when you tugged him impossibly closer. he was tightly pressed into you now and you could feel his entire body encaging yours against the tree, legs shifting to allow him more access to slot himself between them.

your hand was nearing frantic as you gripped his wrist and forced him to touch you more, sliding it over your lower back and angling yourself until it was touching your ass. he tensed up again but the high pitched whine you let out was almost enough for him to forget the issue at hand, worsening when your head was landing on his shoulder and your hands were gripping his upper arms like you were losing your balance over a simple touch.

he couldnt help himself now, it was simple human curiosity that led him to squeeze your ass in his first direct move. the action pulled you against him even more and slightly lifted you off the ground from the accidental force of it, another grope instinctively following when he felt your heavy breath against his neck and the way you shivered.

your hips were moving in small waves now, one of your hands back in his hair so you could force his gaze to meet yours again.

he seemed so cold as he watched you and the lack of emotion on his face did nothing but light the fire in you even more as a new desire to make him feel good emerged, his hand still gripping your ass while the other settled smoothly on your waist.

your shirt had ridden up as it got stuck against the tree bark and you felt the rough skin of his thumb smooth over your bare side, a cry leaving you at the feeling. he automatically shushed you and it was the closest you’d came to hearing his low voice in days, eyes watering as you nodded obediently and bit your lip in an attempt to stay quiet.

he was fully groping you now and your hips were rocking against him at a pace that was stealing the breath from your lungs, even more so when you were lifting your leg and resting it against his waist easily.

his core was pressing against yours and even though he wasn’t moving, he wasn’t stopping you either. you were practically using him for your pleasure and the thought made you cry out again.

this time he didn’t have to shush you because you were using your grip in his hair to pull his mouth to yours, whining as soon as your lips connected. he tensed up but you almost sobbed at the idea of him not responding to your advances and thankfully he did.

his mouth moving against yours was more intense than anything else you’d done and now the whines were impossible to hold back, forgetting about the loss you were feeling or the fact you were completely exposed to the world around you.

any potential danger wasn’t on your mind anymore and all that mattered was that you weren’t alone and you were still alive, heat fully building now as you kissed daryl and relished the feeling of his hands on you.

then it was gone as quickly as it came and you felt yourself completely ice over when he was suddenly gone, head so dizzy you almost thought he just completely vanished before you realized he had just stumbled backwards into the dark in front of you.

you knew he hadn’t left you, both because he would never do something like that and also because you could hear his raspy breaths a few feet away.

there was no confusion flooding through you because you knew exactly why he had stopped kissing you, the same reason he was currently storming off back towards where your abandoned fire was still dying out.

you waited a few seconds before you followed him, just long enough that you could still hear his footsteps without risk of ending up anywhere near him.

you weren’t stupid and you understood the mistake you had just made, especially with somebody as testy as daryl. you’d seen the way he locked up whenever carol rested her hand on his shoulder and it was obvious that he considered everyone he met a threat until given valid reason not to.

and then there was the issue of him being a good man.

daryl may come from a bloodline of men who would have no issue pressing a girl over twice their age younger than them against a tree but he wasn’t proud of that gene pool and he wasn’t going to start joining them now.

you felt guilty as you watched him from the tree line, throwing the half burnt logs roughly back onto the ashes with his face turned up in frustration and possible disgust. you didn’t join him even when the flames were back and a cold shutter was running over you, staying there in the shadows and longing for another warmth.

——

any hope of daryl choosing to forget about what happened and act normal was quickly lost when he woke you up by tossing a few loose rocks in your direction.

you had jumped awake and frantically searched your surroundings for any threat, freezing when your eyes landed on him standing there and glaring at you. he had looked the exact same since the fall of the prison but his shoulders were rigid with something else now.

you weren’t at all shocked by the fact that he hadn’t left you there, still feeling assured in knowing he wouldn’t do that to you no matter how upset he was with you.

he stood there, frozen in place, as you quickly gathered your little belongings into the small backpack you’d managed to grab during the chaos. there was an air of impatience around him that you didn’t want to test so you went as fast as you could and looked at him expectantly when you finished.

there was no mention to where you were going and you didn’t bother asking any questions, following him back into the woods blindly.

daryl walked for hours with no rest and you used all of your willpower to avoid requesting a break, keeping your exhausted pants and breaths for air as quiet as you could. he never once glanced back to make sure you were keeping up and there was periods of time where you almost lost him due to the distance between you.

at first you thought you were somehow managing to catch up every time but you quickly realized that he was stopping to wait for you.

the guilt you had felt was subsiding now as you assumed he was punishing you. you glared daggers into his back and started to purposely take your time, dragging your feet over noisy piles of leaves and sending decayed logs sprawling across the forest floor.

it took him a few hours to start sending glares back in your direction once he pieced together that your clumsy actions were clearly intentional. you both were furious with the other without really knowing why and the heavy emotion partnered with exhaustion was getting to you quicker than you realized.

“damnit girl pick up your feet.” his voice ripping through the forest completely threw you off your pace and you genuinely nearly tripped over a loose branch. straightening up just in time to see his concerned expression snap back into a glare.

“maybe if we took a break i could.” you were quick to argue back like the fact this was your first conversation in days wasn’t clouding your mind and he scoffed at your excuse.

daryl knew you well enough to know you weren’t the type to be clumsy when you were tired and that the crease in your eyebrows wasn’t a common sight. he was finding it hard to think of a rebuttal that wouldn’t reveal that level of familiarity and he settled on a mean scoff.

“do you even know where we are going?” your hands were thrown out from your sides in frustration and he watched you as you let out a humorless laugh. “is this your entire plan? walk ourselves to death?”

the jabs may have been just your anger spewing out whatever you could think but it was hitting him somewhere he didn’t know you could access. it wasn’t lost on him that you were looking to him now the same way everyone looked towards rick, although one life was way less of a responsibility than what the sheriff had taken on.

although he was beginning to question if that was true.

his lack of answer seemed to annoy you further and you wish you could’ve stopped yourself from talking but the embarrassment from his rejection and overall exhaustion was clearly affecting your impulse control.

“if you’re going to bore me to death at least let me get a drink first.” your tone was so harsh that he almost didn’t recognize it and his lip turned up in a snarl.

“ain’t even old enough to drink.” he was mumbling and turning to continue his mindless walk into the trees but you were quick with your reply.

“you know damn well how old i am daryl.” your sentence was harmless enough but the way you said it made his skin crawl, heavy implication that he had put thought into your young age.

you were embarrassed as soon as you said it especially since as far as you were aware, it wasn’t true. you had no knowledge to the fact that daryl had spent countless nights thinking about your age and wondering if you thought about him that way too. he had caught you staring a few times and watched a little harder next time you were in the room, lingered a little longer to try and gauge your thoughts.

you were a completely mystery to him and now it felt like he was an open book to you.

did you really know how hard it was for him to be around somebody as tempting as you? was it that obvious that guilt was eating him alive for even considering a world where you’d want him as badly as he did you?

his body was frozen in place as your words hit him harshly and you were so focused on your own humiliation that you didn’t even consider his strange reaction.

“look can we just…” your voice was breaking and trailing off in a pathetic way that only furthered your embarrassment and you sighed. “can you look at me?”

at first you thought that he might ignore you all together, actually wondering if he’d just stand there like that until you gave up and wandered away to find your eventual death. you let out a breath of relief when he was turning halfway to glance at you and the conflicted look on his face was different than the anger you had expected.

“im sorry that i made you feel weird but you’re the only person i have left.” you were talking without thinking and it was the first time he heard you sound so unsure of yourself, shifting in place restlessly. “i really don’t want to fight with you.”

he didn’t say anything for a long time but the fact he hadn’t immediately gotten defensive was enough for you to feel a little relief and it was only furthered by the small head nod he gave you.

“better move. suns setting.”

——

you hadn’t noticed the sky turning into a pale orange when he had mentioned it but he was as accurate as always and in less than an hour there was a dark haze obscuring your vision again.

this time daryl was more proactive and it turns out he did actually have a plan and he wasn’t just walking in circles, leading you through the woods until you were reaching a small town that was more accurately just a few run down shops and a bar.

the place looked properly picked over but daryl wasn’t stopping and looking in any of the windows or broken down cars, clearly more focused on settling down for the night rather than finding stuff to take along with you.

you almost laughed when he was leading you towards the bar at the end of the street, almost forgetting what you had said about wanting a drink to cure your boredom.

you knew there wouldn’t be anything left over on the inside but the irony was still apparent as you climbed up onto a stool and tapped impatiently on the bar top. daryl was somewhere behind you, messing around with the door locks and pulling tables in front of it to block the entrance.

you looked over your shoulder to see him glancing at you, possibly half amused at the way you rolled your eyes and checked a non existent watch.

he surprised you by actually crossing the room and getting behind the bar, searching through the cabinets and drawers for actually helpful things but also coincidentally allowing you to continue having your fun.

“so… bartender.” your voice was higher than normal and you’d suddenly gained a much thicker southern accent than your usual light drawl. “im new to town. anything fun to do around here?”

he was finally turning to look at you and you watched him curiously as he tossed an abandoned washcloth over his shoulder like he’d been drying glasses, your gaze growing heavier when he put both of his hands flat on the side of the bar and leaned slightly forward.

“pretty dead this time of year.” his voice was low and his face was as emotionless as always but his joke surprised you into a loud and sudden burst of laughter, laying your head down flat on the wood for a few seconds.

you’d never necessarily considered daryl funny but the vibe had certainly shifted from your harsh argument earlier and you couldn’t help but smile at him when you finally picked your head back up, resting your chin on your palm.

he didn’t speak for a while but he didn’t seem like he was planning to shy away from your gaze. maybe daryl was more confident after the sun had set, the bar barely lit outside of a few oil lamps he had apparently flicked on while you were playing pretend.

“what if this was how we met?” you didn’t feel stupid as you spoke even though a few hours ago you would’ve willingly ran into a tree before asking something like that to him. he didn’t respond but you noticed his grip on the bar tightening until his knuckles were white. “would you be at a bar like this?”

at first he didn’t respond and once again you felt that fear creep up, the isolation of his silence lingering in the back of your mind. then he was chewing on the inside of his cheek before shaking his head.

“nah.” it was low and gruff but it was something, almost everything to you and you were leaning even further off your seat and into your palm. “ain’t paying for shitty beer.”

you nodded at his answer and it actually made a lot of sense to you that he was the type of guy who’d rather drink at home but you wanted to pout at the fact he wasn’t playing along with you and your overactive imagination. he could see the disappointment flickering across your face but your eyes were lighting up before he could try to fix it.

“but we are here right?” you start slowly like you’re trying to paint the same picture for him that you’re able to see, maybe with some music playing instead of the sounds of walker growls in the distance. he doesn’t say anything and you take his silence as permission. “and im sitting on this stool, babysitting some shitty beer.”

you slightly mocked his accent as you repeated his words back to him and he scoffed out a laugh at the sound of your thick and over exaggerated recreation of it.

your mouth turned up at the sound of him laughing but it quickly seized when you were sliding your jacket off your arms.

daryl knew what you were wearing underneath, he’d felt the warm skin you were showcasing last night around this time even and yet he still wasn’t prepared for the image of it. he’d seen you in less if he actually thought about it but the small tank top wasn’t necessarily the point rather than the picture you were successfully painting now.

he could actually imagine the two of you at the bar in some other world, you dressed in something that would keep his eyes on you while you pretended to like the drink some asshole had ordered for you.

it was easier to forget the fact you hadn’t been able to drink before the end of the world and this was probably your first time in an actual bar when you were looking at him like that.

he wondered briefly if you meant to be as intimidating as you were sometimes, especially now as you smoothly slid off the stool while keeping your eyes locked on his. you answered his silent question by stopping to flick off one of the oil lamps as you walked towards his side of the bar.

the process continued as you disappeared with the light just to come back again under the glow of the next lamp before once again darkening it

there was a sane part of him that was screaming about this not being the time or the place, reminding him how much was constantly at stake. this was dangerous, you were dangerous and in more ways than one.

especially now that all the lights were off and you were suddenly right in front of him again, not quite as dark or close as it had been yesterday but enough for him to understand that you were once again wanting something from him that he could not give.

your hands were back on him and smoothing over his chest and arms, a repeat of events but this time there was confidence in the way you were moving. you barely hesitated before tangling your hand in his hair and pulling him closer to your lips and he didn’t resist the movement, staring down at you with that same blank look on his face that drove you to insanity.

he flinched back as far as your hands would allow when you went to kiss him, rocking on your tiptoes for a second before landing flat on your feet and pouting.

“it’s only us left in the entire world.” your whispered statement was as much reality as it was an exaggeration but he understood the point you were making before you spelled it out. “nobody will ever know.”

it was ridiculous how much your demeanor shifted under the thinly veiled mask of darkness.

this time when you were making an attempt, he was allowing you to kiss him. the pace of it was feverish from the beginning and you felt slightly smug with some solid proof that he had been wanting this as much as you had, regardless if that had started last night or long beforehand.

he wasn’t needing a guiding hand to touch you anymore and you sighed into his mouth when his rough hands were on your lower back, pulling you into him harshly like he had momentarily forgotten his own strength.

that wasn’t something you were capable of and your entire body felt like it was on fire as you remembered the things he was capable of, the things you’d seen him do to protect the ones he cared about. it wasn’t lost on you that you were included in that and your mouth felt bruised and swollen when you momentarily stopped kissing him in favor of pressing your lips along his jaw.

“god you could hurt me.” your voice was a single breath and he was opening his eyes to look at you, making brief eye contact whenever you came up from his hot skin. his gaze was heavy and alarmingly emotional, almost like he was fearing what you would say for one reason or another. “but you won’t, such a good man.”

you could tell the praising words bugged him so you didn’t object when he was grunting and kissing you again, affectively shutting you up while sparking your interest in putting your tongue in his mouth.

he was painfully curious where you’d learned to kiss so dirty, the idea of you wasting it on some idiot highschool boy getting under his skin for some reason. you were simultaneously hoping you were doing everything right and pushing yourself backwards up onto the counter to try to seem more bold.

your hands were clawing at the wood to try to get a good grip and hoist yourself up but luckily he was paying attention, easily lifting you by your waist and placing you there like it was nothing.

daryl still couldn’t see you but now he could feel your legs wrapping themselves around his middle and pulling him forward until his core was pressed against yours, drinking in the sound of your whines when you realized the position you’d put yourself into.

now you could feel that he was turned on and the knowledge was dangerous to your growing ego, still longing to hear another sound from him or to get him to fully snap and take you like you wanted.

his silence remained steely and you figured he wasn’t going to dare speak and risk putting himself too presently in the situation, bad enough that he was kissing your lips and pressing you into the bar top like some horny teenager.

he knew he had a responsibility now and before the end of the world, a moral code that didn’t stop just because the laws did. he knew you were legally an adult and aged even more by the things you’d had to go through but it didn’t stop the fact that he was over twice your age and the only person you had left, something that was settling uncomfortably in his skin.

is that the reason you were doing this, slipping your hand down the front of his chest until you were tugging at the rough leather of his belt?

“stop thinking so much.” your voice was still as breathy as it was before but it sounded firmer now, wanting him to hear your words. he rested his forehead against yours as you undid his belt and the narrow glare of his gaze was making your head spin. “i want this, want you.”

daryl tried his best to heed your advice, listen to the pure lust dripping from your voice as you told him what any man would want to hear from something as beautiful as you. he ducked his head into your neck when you finished removing his belt and he tried not to be too hasty as he roughly pulled down your low rise jeans.

he weirdly hadn’t put much thought behind what you’d look like without clothes despite his concerning amount of time spent fantasizing about different scenarios.

maybe you’d find him stupid if you knew he more often pictured you sending a youthful smile his way or grasping onto his hand when you were scared rather than what it would be like to take you to bed (or the top of an old bar counter).

you’d most likely laugh in his face if you knew how badly he wanted to protect you, feeling a heavy darkness low in his gut at the thought of you in danger.

he was thinking this like your hand wasn’t back in his hair while you did your best to pull his jeans down with your heels, pulling him back into a kiss and trying to bring him back to the present moment. you were slightly pained at how much he was clearly overthinking but you were too far gone into your desire to let it stop you from having him.

it was easier for him to get out of his head when you were whining louder and louder as he entered you, tugging at his hair and clawing at his back to hear another pained grunt from him at the feeling of your nails on his skin.

there was a lack of words from both of you now even though you had plenty to say, longing to catch your breath long enough to tell him how good he felt. or rather ask him about what he was feeling, coerce him with your tightness so he was less likely to regret what you were doing.

you wanted to make sure he knew that you weren’t settling for your idea of the last man on earth, detail how much you liked the lowness of his weathered voice and how rough his hands felt as he fumbled to grab onto any bare skin of yours he could find.

there was no part of you that was ignoring the clumsy way he dragged you closer to the edge of the counter as you both started to reach your peak, desperation causing an obvious fever in him that was making him act more impulsively.

no regret surged through you as you finished around him, bringing him back into another bruising kiss with slower rocks of your hips to try to urge him to come undone too.

daryl was completely frozen after and you almost didn’t want to open your eyes to search the dark for the look on his face, preferring to stay in the hazy moment with him still inside of you and not yet closing back off at the realization of what you’d done, what he’d done to you.

his age was showing again in the way he was still careful with you afterwards despite his inner turmoil, pouring some of your last bits of water onto the cleanest rag he could find to help clean you up and even pulling you further off the counter so he could button your jeans for you.

it was almost romantic if it wasn’t for the hovering knowledge that what had happened was technically a mistake by all moral standards.

you’d instinctively reached for his hand as he cleared his throat awkwardly and went to back away from you, letting it linger between your two bodies as you slid off the bar and stood there in front of him.

the ashamed look on his face was expected but he was mildly surprised to see the wide eye stare you were sending back, peering up at him like he had hung the moon and the stars that were lighting your faces through the dusty windows.

you had plenty of time for him to shut you out and deal with the inward battle about the lines you’d crossed together but you weren’t going to give up that easily, squeezing his rough palm and following behind him like it was completely typical behavior for the two of you.

your heart was thawed out knowing he’d come around eventually, even if it was only in the late hours of the night where it was easiest to pretend you were the last people on earth.

[agnireed]

If you came from my tiktok I promise I’ll post more soon, I have tons of drafts I just work a lot!!

[agnireed]

Walking Tension

summary 🏹 seducing your dads bestfriend proves harder than you thought

word count 🏹 8k

warnings 🏹 large age gap, mature content

“Daryl? Are you in here?”

The low committal grunt sounding through the makeshift garage area was enough for you to confirm his presence and a soft smile spread onto your face as you made your way into the small garage like area.

He didn’t even look up from whatever it was he was doing on his bike, knowing it was you already by the sound of your voice and the fact you were the only person who typically bothered him during the day like this.

“Need any help?” Your voice was high and sweet as you looked at his wide back hunched over the motorcycle but both of you knew better than that. He’d heard that same nice tone a dozen times and knew exactly what typically followed it.

The laugh he scoffed out was humorless and you would’ve felt put off by his annoyance if you weren’t the type of person you were. The type of person you were liked to get under Daryl’s skin, liked seeing his reactions to you and seeing how far he’d let you push him before he sent you on your way like always.

“Your dad send you?” He always asked the same question when you came to find him and you always gave him the same frown in return.

You wondered if he did it as a way to remind you about your father, silently placing him in the room with the two of you because you knew as well as him that your dad played no part in the reason you kept coming to him.

You didn’t bother answering him, just making your way over to where he was working and sitting yourself down on the bike seat softly so it didn’t tip too far. You were right above the section he was working on and he had no choice but to pause.

He cleared his throat in a low grunt and leaned back a little to look at you now that you were blocking his way and taking away his excuse to remain busy and ignore you. Your legs were directly in front to his face, long and bare considering you religiously wore your little frayed denim shorts around him.

It was your favorite look of his whenever you got to this moment in your interactions.

His eyes were on you through his long dark hair and for just a moment it was like he would take you in before his doors closed again and he was glaring at you in disgust.

“Can you take a break?” Your tone was still innocent and soft despite your intentions and he said nothing, even when your legs parted slightly to try to keep his attention on you.

It was rare that he actually acknowledged you for this long and you wondered if he was feeling particularly strong today in his ability to hold back or if it was something else keeping his attention.

“Run along somewhere else girl.” His response was short and rough, yours legs closing at the same time a pout formed harder on your pretty face.

“You’re no fun Dixon.” You let your voice take on a bit of a whine and normally by now you would take the loss and leave. You’d swing your hips and tell him where to find you (he never did) and then you’d try again the next day.

But something about today felt different and you decided to hold out a bit longer to try and test that theory. He also seemed momentarily taken back by the fact you weren’t getting up and leaving and you took advantage of the fact he was watching you, spreading your legs again.

Your shorts were so small that you knew he could easily see the fabric of your best pair of panties you only wore for him, the shine of your thighs from the hot summer air.

Daryl was a strong man and his expression didn’t change once to reveal what he was thinking, if anything, but the way his eyes darted to your core and back up again was all you needed to consider this day a win.

He avoided you outside of these little interactions and you didn’t necessarily blame him considering you were clearly after a certain objective with him and he’d be an idiot to not realize how badly you were determined to get what you wanted.

“Just let me help you.” You framed the soft words like you were referring to the work he was doing on the bike but you both knew that’s not what you were implying.

“Said run along.” His voice was gruff when he finally spoke again and the sound went straight to the building heat in your stomach, your eyes flashing in excitement at his response which only seemed to annoy him further. “Always looking for trouble.”

The emphasis in his words wasn’t far from the truth considering how long you’d been playing this one sided game with him.

You’d not really looked his way when him and his brother first joined your camp back by the quarry and it wasn’t until your dad came back without Merle that he started to catch your eye.

You loved your dad but there was something about Daryl and his resistance towards him and Shane that made you more interested than you should’ve been. He didn’t seem to notice you following him around until you had gotten to the CDC and spent the night drinking.

It was the perfect excuse to find yourself outside of his door with a half empty bottle in your hand, smirking at him when he opened the door and questioned if you were even old enough to be drinking.

He’d shut you down pretty quickly that night too but you could tell he was acting different the next morning, most likely thinking he read the situation wrong and feeling guilty for blaming Rick’s innocent young daughter who just wanted some company.

After you’d gotten to the farm, he quickly realized he had been perfectly correct in his assumption that night and you most definitely were hitting on him.

You did it again after he had gotten shot and there you were, sitting on his bed side with your hand on his bare chest under the excuse of checking his pulse. The look in your eye was dangerous and he was both thankful and humiliated when Maggie opened the door and saw the two of you sitting so close.

He figured he was probably losing his mind thinking that somebody who looked like you and was your age was making a move on him but you proved him right again and again.

You’d never wanted somebody as bad as you wanted Daryl and you were determined to make it a reality.

It was easy to accept defeat today in the garage considering it felt like your biggest victory yet and he knew he had fucked up when you left the building with a big smile and a little hop in your steps.

Now a few days had passed and he was starting to wonder why you weren’t trying to talk to him again. It made him feel slightly sick that he was even thinking about it instead of just being glad your attention was finally off of him but something about it was bugging him and he quickly realized why when he was finally finding you in the cafeteria.

You were talking to one of the newcomers from Woodbury, someone much closer to your age and clearly interested in the way you were curling your hair around your finger and leaning closer as you giggled at whatever he was saying.

Daryl watched you from near the stairs and didn’t bother to hide the scowl forming when your hand was laying on the dudes arm and squeezing it lightly.

He wondered if you knew how you looked to other people, hell he wondered if your dad had any idea what they all thought of you with your big doe eyes and the tiny shorts that showed off a blinding amount of skin.

You definitely knew considering how often you’d parade around with that sweet grin, asking men for favors or help with simple task and ignoring the way their wives or girlfriends glared in your direction when they eagerly offered to assist you.

And you definitely knew the effect you had on him considering you were turning your head to find him now and somehow immediately making eye contact.

He felt a sense of something when you were automatically leaving behind the guy you were flirting with and finding your way over to him but he quickly shut that feeling down the best he could. It didn’t matter considering you were by his side in a matter of seconds.

The room was filing up quickly now that the food was ready to be served and it was getting nosier and more crowded, the perfect excuse for you to press close to Daryl to make sure he could hear what you were going to be telling him.

“Did you miss me?” Your voice was in his ear and a shudder ran through him embarrassingly enough, made even worse by the amused look in your eye.

“Where’s your old man at?” He was once again reminding you of your father before you could do anything further, giving you an opportunity to cut it out and go find somebody your own age to talk to.

“Not here.” Your response was quick and steady due to your impatience and you watched him chew the inside of his cheek and grunt softly.

You wanted him to snap and lose control enough that he’d finally give you what you wanted after months of watching his big arms work on cars and his hands shave wood down to a small point.

But you knew better than that by now and had long ago accepted that Daryl wasn’t going to just hit a breaking point and take you the way you wanted. He was going to need to be coached the entire way and you’d be the one making all the moves if you ever wanted to get anywhere with him.

“You didn’t come looking for me.” You were pouting a bit now and looking up at him with those signature big eyes, your hand coming up to touch along the jagged hem of his leather vest.

He glanced down at your wandering hand but didn’t say anything, just tensing up since you normally didn’t touch him during your teasing and especially not where somebody else could see you.

“Seemed busy.” His gaze was on you suddenly, something rare enough that you got nervous, and it took you a few seconds to realize he was talking about the guy you were flirting with.

His face was giving away absolutely nothing but excitement ran through you at him clearly caring enough to bring it up.

Daryl was a man of few words and you learned a long time ago that everything he said had a purpose, even if it was hard to understand at first. You assumed what this one was immediately and he seemed to regret saying it when you were turning your body even more so you were standing halfway in front of him now and practically caging him against the wall.

“He wants to fuck me you know.” You kept your voice steady and low enough that nobody passing by would hear what you were saying but there was no way the man across from you missed it.

His eyes stayed the same as they always were, intense and flat as he peered down at you, but you knew your words affected him even if he was scarily good at masking it.

“He say that?” His next words came out in a low grunt but you were surprised he responded to your obvious bait at all.

This was normally around the time he was telling you to leave him alone out right or ignoring you until you got bored and impatient, opting to try again another day instead. Another rush of excitement ran through you at his slight show of interest and he could tell by the way your eyes lit up like an eager kid.

“A girl can just tell when a man wants her under him.” You were too close to him now and you both knew it, taking a small step forward until the toe of your shoes could’ve touched his. “When he’s thinking about her in a way he shouldn’t.”

Your hand was flat on his chest now and you could feel the way his heart was beating through his vest and shirt, surprised he was so affected considering how blank his expression still was. You blinked up at him through your eyelashes and he looked like he was finally going to say something before you heard a voice calling him from the other side of the cell block.

He immediately stepped sideways so he wasn’t pinned against the wall by you and you frowned when your hand fell off of him and landed back by your side, watching as he left you there with a quick throat clear and an awkward glance.

It was only slightly satisfying that he let you go further than normal but you were still growing frustrated with the constant interruptions, both by him and others.

Apparently the call of his name was somebody coming to tell him about a run happening that day because you didn’t see him at all for the next few hours, eventually asking your dad where he’d gone and pouting when he gave you the list of names that had left the prison for supplies.

Your dad had laughed slightly at your upset expression, making a quick comment about how much you admired Daryl that made you roll your eyes and huff your way out of the courtyard.

He didn’t even know half of what you felt towards Daryl and you couldn’t help but be bitter that your father happened to be the one person the older man truly respected and wouldn’t go against.

You spent the rest of the day in your cell feeling a bit like a princess locked in her tower, almost deluding yourself into thinking you were close to getting what you wanted by the time you heard the gates opening and cars on the gravel road.

A few minutes passed of you excitedly biting your lip and waiting for everybody to come inside and get ready for bed, not wanting to be too eager by running outside to meet them by the entrance.

Most of the people who had been around you since the beginning (minus your oblivious dad) had gathered you had a liking for Daryl but you didn’t need them to realize it was a lot more than just a young girls crush. Especially if you wanted him to ever give into you, something he’d never do if he knew Carol and Maggie shot you amused glances everytime you asked where he was.

By the time you heard a few deep sighs and cell doors closing you were getting up to go and find him.

Your excitement made your feet sound a little louder as you speed walked down the metal steps of your cell block before heading to the one directly next to yours, the two that had been cleared out for your closest group and their families and partners.

You slowed down when you entered it and saw Glenn and Maggie sitting together near the staircase, her face red and teary where it laid in his shoulder. You could tell something was wrong and you faltered long enough for her to look up at you and give you a heavy glance, face pursing as she nodded up towards the second tier rooms.

She clearly knew you were looking for Daryl and you would have stopped and asked her what was wrong if it wasn’t for the heavy air in the cell block and the fact Glenn was already comforting her.

You still offered her a light squeeze of her shoulder as you passed them on the stairs and made your way up to the top, stopping again when you finally located the person you were looking for.

He didn’t notice you for a few seconds considering he was far too busy staring downwards at the big blue eyes of the girl who had just been wrapped around him in a tight hug but when he did, you immediately saw the worry on his face.

Your own expression steeled up and you watched his shoulders sag in defeat like he already knew you were going to make a big deal out of this, proven correct by the fact you were turning on your heel and stomping your way back to your cell.

It genuinely surprised you when he was following through your sheet door just a few breaths after you, not at all expecting him to come after you.

“It ain’t like that.” He continued to surprise you by speaking first, hands jutted out from his body like he was talking down a wild animal.

You might as well have been considering the way you glared at him, your chest rising and falling with heavy upset breaths. You felt beyond childish and ridiculous due to the fact you couldn’t get any of your angry words out, throat clogged up as you just stared at him standing in your cell.

It barely got processed that this was his first time ever being in here with you, ever being in such a small space alone together in general and you imagine you would have been more excited about this if it wasn’t for the hot jealously in your bloodstream.

“Can you calm down girl.” He sounded as gruff and impatient as ever and you hated that you immediately pouted at the sound of him scolding you.

He surprisingly wasn’t flinching away when you were suddenly in his space, just leaning back against your wall like you weren’t pushing your chest against his and letting your hands rest over his heart again.

You liked to feel how fast it started to race whenever you were getting under his skin, knowing how nervous you made him with your tempting advances.

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes were wide and innocent when you looked up at him and you barely saw his darken but that was enough to spur you on, the only sign you needed that he wanted this as much as you both knew you did. “I just got upset seeing her touch you like that.”

“Ain’t like anything.” His voice vibrated through his chest and one of your hands pushed under the leather of his vest, rubbing the fabric of his shirt.

The pout you kept on your face as you started to take steps backward was deadly and as stubborn as he was, he was still a man. He followed you forward, only slightly urged by the tug on his vest, and when you sat down on the bottom bunk of the bed; he kept his eyes locked on you and the way you looked at him.

“Lay with me?” The question was innocent enough but you both knew better and he was turning his head to look at the measly cloth covering your cell.

Anybody walking past could potentially hear your conversation or even the slight shuffle of his feet as he kicked his boots off. Although nobody was rude enough to enter without announcing themselves, it’s not like you could sneak him out the back window.

That made it all the more exciting that he was seemingly agreeing despite the risk, moving his boots under your bed so they were out of the way and watching you expectantly.

You got out of the bed so he could climb in first (slightly trapping him between you and the wall) and you would have laughed at how tense his body was when he laid down if you weren’t already toeing the line before he typically rejected you and left.

You’d never been close to Daryl like this, the twin bed being so small you had no choice but to practically curl around his side and his entire body was stiffening up when you laid your head down on his shoulder.

“Did it go bad today?” Your voice was soft and you wondered how long it had been since you had an actual conversation without the wanting purr in your voice or the tension in the air.

He didn’t respond out loud but you hadn’t expected him too, accepting the low hum as him not wanting to talk about it.

It went silent again except for his deep breath when your arm wrapped around his chest and you picked your head up to be able to look at his face, scanning over his features from this new angle.

“Shouldn’t be going out there anymore.” He was talking again barely above a whisper and you knew he was referring to the fact you’d been going on runs more now that your dad had stepped back and you were getting older.

“I’m not a kid Daryl.” You had a light smile on your face as you said it but it was gone when he responded with a low scoff, like what you said was ridiculous. “I mean it, I’m not.”

You emphasized the statement by moving your hand down his chest, resting on his stomach instead and pushing lower until you were just near where his belly button would be. He was stiff and silent again but he’d never let you touch him like this before so you were practically vibrating from excitement.

His hand was roughly gripping your wrist when you brushed the leather on his belt but he didn’t throw you off of him, just stopping you from going any further down.

He looked pained when you moved your gaze back to his face and your pout formed again, catching on to the fact it seemed to be a weakness he had.

Clearly you were right considering he was using his grip on your wrist to move your hand back up to his stomach, letting it rest there surprisingly. He was finally taking his hand away and you almost mourned the loss of contact if it wasn’t for the fact he was bringing it upwards to brush your hair behind your ear.

“Why are you fighting this Daryl, why are you fighting me?” You brought your voice back down to a whisper and his eyes watched your lips as you spoke.

“Ain’t no pervert.” He was quick to respond this time and his rough knuckle gently rubbing over the smooth skin on your cheek, another obvious showcase of your differences. “Too young to want me like this.”

“I know you’re not a pervert.” You leaned into his touch and a small breath escaped him at the action. “But I am.”

He let out a short laugh at your blunt statement and you couldn’t help but smile down at him, glad he was relaxing somewhat even if his body was still tense against yours and he wasn’t letting you touch him yet.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve laid right here thinking about you.” Your voice sounded more familiar to him now, that typical low purr like you were trying to lure him in for the kill. “Touching myself wishing it was you.”

His eyes shut quickly almost like he was pained by what you were saying and the smirk playing on your lips nearly slipped through, hand running down his stomach again and feeling a surge of excitement when he made no move to stop you this time.

“Quit.” The gruffness barely registered in your ears and you pouted when he was shaking his head (more towards himself than you). “Stop runnin your mouth.”

“You could stuff it.” You were leaning in to whisper the words into his ear now and your hand was pushing up his shirt just enough that you could feel the trail of hair leading down into his jeans. “That would shut me up.”

His hips instinctively lifted off the bed at the feeling of your fingers drifting under his waistband and your mouth parted at how manly he really was, prominent happy trail accompanied by the earthly smell being enough to drive you even further in your fantasies about your age gap and the sheer difference between the two of you.

“Always working so hard to keep us all safe, just let me take care of you.” You were pushing past the point of no return with a graze of a kiss against his neck, hand under his belt now and lifting the waistband of his boxers.

Daryl surprisingly said nothing as you wrapped your hand around him but you could hear him grunting and feel the vibrations against your lips that were licking and sucking his warm skin, painting marks on his neck and whining softly when you felt how hard he was getting from the small movements.

His big rough hand was cupping your forearm again but this time he wasn’t trying to stop you from touching him, instead attempting to ground himself as you started to stroke him the best you could with the restriction of his jeans.

“Bet you’d fuck me so good.” You couldn’t stop yourself from breathing out the words to him even though part of you figured more dirty talk would scare him away faster, mouth still moving against his neck and jaw as you spoke in between the kissing. “Cock this big would stretch me open, might have to force me to take it.”

You were practically moaning even though he hadn’t touched you outside of the tight grip on your arm, overly turned on just because you had him in this position finally.

The words you were whispering had already made him close his eyes in a pained squint with his mouth parted to try to stop himself from grunting too loud, not at all engaging outside of allowing you to get him off with your small hand.

You were just breaking another kiss against his neck to speak again when you heard light shuffling right outside your blanket door, most likely just somebody walking around restless from the hard day but the small noise was enough for Daryl to completely stiffen up and throw you off of him before you could even process it.

He was up and off the bed quicker than your head could turn to stare at him and you watched with wide eyes as he threw the curtains open and disappeared down the prison hallway.

——

Leaving your room the next day was harder than you had imagined it would be and for the first time in a long time you felt yourself overwhelmed with embarrassment, an emotion not very common for you considering how hard you’d worked to be overly confident at all times.

“Something the matter?” Tyreese had the type of calming voice that always seemed to get into the corners of your frantic mind you sometimes didn’t even recognize, shoulders losing some tension as you sighed and glanced at him. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Just a long night.” You settled for the routine answer that any member of your group would give whenever the looked particularly troubled, a silent understanding that some things were just too hard to talk about.

He nodded with his pursed lips forming a light smile and you returned it when he was squeezing your arm softly and walking away, leaving you standing there in the common area and sighing to yourself again.

Daryl was nowhere to be seen for most of the day but you weren’t surprised by that, figuring he’d make himself scarce both to avoid you and because the guilt he’d feel whenever he’d speak to your dad or little brother.

Eventually the sun was setting again and almost like clockwork you were seeking him out, finding him in the corner of the cafeteria block speaking in a low voice to Carol and Beth.

You stayed still and watched him very carefully as he interacted with them both, your eyes scanning over his casual posture and the way he watched Carol as she walked away. Something nasty settled into your stomach at the same time as he squeezed Beth’s arm softly in some form of reassurance, almost exactly what Tyreese had done to you earlier but this left you silently fuming.

He had his shift in the watch tower tonight and you followed him up there after about an hour, making sure everybody else would be asleep so there was no room for interruption.

You didn’t knock on the door but you did push it open slowly enough that he could assume you weren’t a threat and wouldn’t be alarmed enough to defend himself. Peeking your head around the frame to see him in a tense position before sighing when he saw it was you.

There was no greeting or attempt at small talk and instead he went straight into ignoring you, pretending you weren’t leaning against the wall and watching him and he laid out a sleeping bag on the floor.

“I’m older than Beth.” Your voice was a little too loud for how silent the night air was but it got his attention at least and he paused to look at you for a second, face clouded in irritated confusion as he failed to see your point. “Why is it okay with her?”

“You’re ridiculous.” His answer was immediately delivered in a scoff as he stood to his full height, glaring at you from across the room.

“You’ve thought about her.” Your tone left no room for argument and he didn’t respond this time, chest falling and rising from the angry breaths he was taking.

He shocked you by being the first to approach, crossing the room in wide strides that would have scared you if you didn’t already know that Daryl would never hurt you even with the amount of upset radiating off of him.

You both stayed like that for a few silent moments, you with your back pressed against the wall and a calm gaze staring up at him and him full of emotion as he watched you carefully. The tip of his boots were almost touching your shoes from how close he was and you did nothing but watch him and wait.

“Listen closely little girl.” You could feel his breath on your face when he spoke and you instinctively leaned forward, satisfied when he didn’t move back and you could feel his chest against yours for just a second before his hand was pushing you back against the wall. “It ain’t like that.”

“But it could be.” Your voice came out in a whisper which confused you because you didn’t even realize you were speaking so softly, hand finding its favorite place on the hem of his leather vest. “I wouldn’t tell on you.”

You could’ve sworn that you heard his breath stagger when your hand was on him again, most likely remembering the last time you and him were in this position.

“Ain’t like that.” His tone had completely changed now as he looked down at you and you would’ve smiled at the obvious signs that he was giving in to you but you didn’t want to snap him out of it and remind him why you shouldn’t be talking like that.

“It is like that and you know it is.” You were nodding your head along your own words as you spoke and he was just standing there, watching you as you smoothed your palm over his chest and rubbed over his shoulder before going back downwards. “Come talk to me when you accept that.”

He seemed confused and (possible wishful thinking) disappointment when you were dragging your hand slowly off of him and returning it back to your side, watching him closely for a breath or two before sliding sideways and stepping back towards the stairs.

You didn’t expect him to stop you and he didn’t surprise you by doing so, letting you leave even though the conversation felt more open than it ever had.

——

It almost felt like the universe was playing a cruel joke on you by having your dad come and tell you that a run was scheduled for the next day.

Not only had you stayed up late, waiting for everyone to fall asleep so you could go and have another pointless argument with Daryl, but sleep hadn’t come easy at all. Apparently this was all having some weird effect on your conscious even though you still didn’t believe you were doing anything wrong in your pursuit.

Your dad had given little details but you knew that there wasn’t a run in the world that Daryl wouldn’t volunteer for and your stomach twisted in excitement at the thought of him being stuck around you for any amount of time.

He clearly didn’t share the same feelings because you could see his face drop as soon as he realized you were following your dad and Michonne past the gates as you approached the van and Daryl’s bike.

“Hell no.” He was quick to voice his disagreement and your dad sighed in a way that let you know they’d had a conversation about this before. “I told you I ain’t babysit.”

You felt the immediate sting of offense at his comment and your glare turned sharp as you looked at him, perched on the leather seat of his motorcycle and avoiding your piercing gaze that you knew he could feel.

“I don’t like it either, but she’s ready.” Your father had turned to give you a quick glance and your shoulders squared at the pride swimming in his gaze, knowing it was a big deal for him to be watching one of his children leave the safety of the prison even if you were an adult. “And I trust you more than anybody.”

It hadn’t dawned on you that there was nobody else down by the entrance gates and you only just noticed the fact Michonne had started to saddle up a horse and scribble on a small map.

Daryl seemed to process that you were going on the run together without anybody else at the same time as you did and his face grew darker whilst you broke out into a grin.

“We’ll be fine.” You were eager in the way you turned to plant a kiss on your dad’s cheek before taking a few steps closer to the archer who was watching you now with a scowl. “Right daddy?”

Your father clearly thought you were addressing him and attempting to get some type of comfort about your safety, nodding his head and starting to speak about something regarding the route you were meant to take.

Daryl wasn’t as foolish as his friend and knew exactly what you were doing, eyes locked on yours as you waited to see how long it would take for him to break away. He surprised you by holding your heated gaze until your dad was raising his voice as he wished you good luck and safe returns, giving him a quick head nod before he was clearing his throat and starting up his bike.

You were overly giddy as you approached and pulled yourself onto the back of it, sliding on easily and wasting no time before you were wrapping your arms around his middle.

He made a small grunting noise of annoyance at the feeling of your hands on his stomach but you ignored it until you were pulling away from the prison and out of sight of the other group members, squeezing him tighter and resting your head on his back now that you were in the free world.

If he was surprised that you didn’t try anything then he didn’t show it but you wondered if he thought about it.

Daryl couldn’t seem to figure out and your intentions out and every little thing you did threw him off more. He had come to terms with the fact that you wanted him in ways you shouldn’t, for whatever strange reason you did, but the way you looked at him occasionally (when you weren’t trying to get in his pants) was even more confusing.

The same type of confusion that stemmed from the way you softly rested your head on his back and kept it there for the entire hour ride to the small strip mall circled on the map.

You didn’t even complain when the bike eventually stopped and you climbed off slowly although he could see you wince from pain the stretch of your legs and vibration of the motor

caused.

“Good?” His voice was more hoarse than normal from how tight his throat had been the entire ride and your big round eyes looked up at him in surprise, looking the most innocent you had since the first few months he met you.

He could remember you back then clearly, a lost and confused girl who had just lost her father and went through the end of the world nearly alone. Lori had been overly concerned and paranoid about Carl and when she wasn’t doing that, she was off in the woods with Shane.

Daryl could remember sitting there at a dying fire, night after night, and watching the look on your young face as she brushed your brother’s hair or went off into the woods with the former officer.

He knew you were pretty, he’d be an idiot to not notice it, but he had never thought for a second past the initial observation. There had been a handful of times that he had to shut down Merle’s plans to make a pass at you, barking out the fact you were just a kid.

There had been dozen of things that Daryl had done when he was your age that proved he wasn’t just some kid but the soft look on your face was enough for him to feel a pang of panic the first time your gaze turned heated while looking at him.

“It’s been awhile.” Your voice was as soft as it was back then as you spoke and for a second he had forgotten what he asked you before your eyes drifted back over to the parked bike.

He nodded his head and gave no further reply despite the immediate regret at the dismissive action.

You did a good job following behind Daryl and listening for his almost silent cues about where to go and when, easily clearing the front room of the strip mall that would give you access to the connect stores.

He’d almost forgotten that you existed outside the prison and that you had survived for a long time, he’d almost forgotten you existed outside of his head at all.

It made him feel that much more stupid that you were effortlessly searching shelves and moving around seemingly finished off walkers while he could barely focus on where he was stepping. You had become his biggest distraction without him even realizing it and his eyes were locked on you the entire time, ignoring possibly good supplies around him.

You could feel his eyes on you and it was taking everything in your body to not smile at the knowledge, knowing he was constantly one stint of embarrassment away from closing off on you.

You’d picked up on the fact that Daryl had an issue with you ignoring him back at the prison with the random guy from Woodbury, seeing him get so irritated that he had actually pressed you on your advances for once.

The fact that was something that made the older man tick was bringing so much excitement to you that it was almost impossible to pretend to be impartial.

Your eyes widened when he opened the door to the next hallway and all you could see was knocked over shelves and cabinets. It looked almost unmovable but you stared at it long enough to see small wedges in between some of the metal, glancing over your shoulder to see if Daryl had noticed the same thing.

His eyes were already on you and he gave you a quick nod, waiting until you pressed you back against the door before he was moving forward and inching into the hallway.

For once your lust for him was coming secondary to concern as you watched him get deeper into the dark tight space, neither of you knowing what was on the other side or in between the fallen shelves.

You could hear him whistle under his breath and you perked up at the subtle command, scooting forward exactly like he did. Your smaller size allowed you to get there much faster than he did and he tensed up when he felt your hand wrapping around his bare arm.

“You won’t fit. I’ll go.” Your voice was lower than a whisper and you rocked onto your tippy toes so you were closer to his ear.

He shot you a glare at the suggestion and it was just bright enough that you could see the hardness on his face at the idea of you going forward alone into a space he couldn’t easily get to.

“Ain’t happening.” He was shaking his head and chewing the inside of his lip, your hand tightening around his arm until you released your grip and softly rubbed it absentmindedly. “Your dad wou-“

“My dad isn’t here.” You got louder than you should’ve and you both immediately held your breath to listen in and make sure nothing had heard your small outburst, annoyed at his constant need to place your father between you even in times like this. “I’m here and you’re too big to fit.”

Although you had lowered your voice back to a whisper, he still was tense as he stared down at you.

You sighed softly at his stubbornness but the fact that you were stood toe to toe in a dark and tight space was catching up to you, a low heat building in your stomach despite the danger on both sides of the hallway.

He didn’t even seem to be breathing as your hand rubbed up his arm before coming to his neck, trailing along it and eventually cupping his jaw in a way that made him tilt his head against the touch. You figured it was instinctive but you still smiled at the smallest show of acceptance from him.

Daryl was both tired from the long day and overly frustrated after being around you alone without your attention on him so he didn’t stop you when you were leaning against his chest and pulling his face down towards yours.

Your lips just barely grazed his before you were pausing and looking through your eyelashes at him, pleased to see his gaze had turned low and heated. He clearly was about to let you kiss him but you knew the run was too important to let yourself get distracted even if the opportunity was one of a kind.

“Let’s hurry up and get out of here.” Your familiar purr of a voice was back and he almost nodded in acceptance before remembering what you had been requesting and steeling up.

“Nah.” He was quick to step back away from you and you could do nothing but call his name as he ducked under a fallen cabinet and disappeared down the hallway, leaving the stretch of light that had allowed you to make out his figure moving in front of you.

You stood there for a few silent seconds with your heart in your throat, pounding so hard you thought you might get sick. You couldn’t hear him moving through the dark anymore and you were starting to quickly panic.

“Daryl.” Your voice came out louder than it should’ve and you pulled your knife back out of its holster, glancing behind you with fearful eyes at the sound of walkers groaning and searching for the source of the noise. “Daryl please.”

You knew it was stupid to continue to call out to him but you were driven forward by worry for him as you went more breaths without an answer from the other side of the hallway.

Whispered curses escaped you as you gritted your teeth and put your knife back as you readied yourself to duck under the metal and follow him into the dark, only getting to slightly bend over before you felt something grabbing roughly at your ankle.

Being unprepared allowed the walker to immediately pull your foot from out underneath you and you hit the ground so hard you saw stars for a second, gaining awareness at the exact moment you realized you had been screaming.

You were quickly at the walker with a fearful sob as you tried to search for your knife that had fallen loose from its holster, a breathy gasp leaving you when you heard the metal shelf above you shaking and whining from the force of the walker pressing into it.

You were stuck between being crushed by the weight of it and pushing yourself closer to the walker, its hands digging deep into the fabric of your boot in an attempt to drag you closer to its snapping jaw. The silent hallway had exploded in the sounds of you fighting to escape so you barely heard the metal being thrown around behind you.

Daryl had cleared the hallway in a fraction of the time it took him to get through it and you slumped fully against the floor when his boot was coming down hard on the walkers head.

You scrambled backwards to get away from the gore as he delivered a few more unnecessary stomps, grunts of anger escaping him that made you jump a little with each sound.

“Daryl.” Your soft and scared voice calling out for him seemed to immediately pull him back out of his rage and his gaze snapped over to you, entire face softening when he saw the expression you had.

He was quick to lower himself on the floor next to you, seemingly not even noticing the blood and remained of the skull he’d just smashed seeping into the fabric of his jeans. His rough hand was coming softly to cup the back of your head and help you sit up, being abandoned in the air when you quickly got to your knees and threw yourself against him in a hug.

“You’re alright, I got you.” His low voice and reassurance was lighting a spark in your emotions and you embarrassingly felt a sob build up, swallowing it and focusing on the vibrations of his chest against your cheek.

“I should’ve listened to you.” Your words were muffled but he squeezed your shoulders tighter at the sound of you placing blame on yourself. “I’ll stay at the prison.”

You lifted your head just enough to be able to see the pained look on his face, torn between the thought of you being out here with him where it was dangerous versus the idea that you’d be back home where he couldn’t protect you.

The two of you stayed like that for a few seconds, staring at each other and weighing your options and the fact that your life could have been over if one factor was slightly different.

He seemed to know what you were planning before you even shifted because suddenly his lips were pressed against yours and you couldn’t tell who initiated it.

Daryl kissing you felt like everything suddenly clicked and you couldn’t imagine a world where something this good could lead to anything wrong. You were quick to kiss him back with all the passion and none of the experience, mouth moving desperately against his.

The feeling of your hands on his vest and arms was familiar by now but he still tensed at the skin on skin contact, immediately distracted by the whine you let out when his bicep flexed as he shifted his weight.

“Please.” Your voice was breathy and he almost felt like he was going to pass out hearing it.

If he thought you were an issue to his focus before than he was definitely screwed now seeing you look up at him with your swollen lips and pleading eyes, looking like you’d just pass away if he didn’t give you what you wanted.

Daryl had come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t as strong as he thought he was a long time ago and he knew it was only a matter of time but that still didn’t prepare him for how he’d feel after almost losing you and having to live a life of regret and missed opportunity.

For once, he didn’t have a second thought when he was laying against the ground as gently as he could and the resolve finally ran out when he followed right after.

[agnireed]

Burdened

Summary : Short Daryl one shot where the reader comforts him after a run gone wrong

Warnings : Mentions of death and classic apocalypse centered misery

Word Count : 1.4k

(Not proofread)

You could almost sense the mourning before you’d even found the source of it, feel it crawling up your skin and leaving you completely unsettled as you laid in the bottom bunk of your cell.

It wasn’t unusual to feel this way normally but things had been simpler lately, you’d go as far as to say they’d even been better lately. You’d admittedly let your guard down a little bit with all the new arrivals to the prison. The clubs for the children, actual shifts on the fence or keeping watch and group dinners giving you a sick sense of normalcy that you foolishly leaned too deep into.

You were well aware of the fact a group had gone on a run today and you were a bit dizzy now despite the fact you were just laying in bed, overwhelmed with the heavy silence that only came when something terrible had happened.

It took you a few hours of feeling like this before you were finding the courage to stand out of bed and hesitantly leave your cell in search of the bad news. You figured it would be better to find it yourself instead of letting it creep up on you.

The silence was even louder outside of your cell but at least you could hear some signs of life and stop tricking yourself you were the only person left on earth. Rick instilled a pretty strict curfew into the newcomers but considering you were on the council and had been around since the quarry, you got a bit of a privilege when it came to wandering around at night.

Now you could clearly hear the people throughout the prison getting ready for bed, mothers singing their babies to sleep to try and drown out the moaning from the fence line outside, people cleaning their guns or sharpening their knives.

It reminded you of how things used to be back before the newcomers, even before the prison. You never were very good at sleeping and you can distinctly remember laying awake in your makeshift camps and listening to the sounds of your family. You’d memorized how Rick’s breath catches in his sleep when he’s having a nightmare, the way Carl snored slightly when he was flat on his back and especially the fact that you rarely saw Daryl sleep at all.

Daryl was similar to you in your worst habits and tendencies and not sleeping was one of them.

You’d catch his eye from where you were sitting up against a tree or a peeling wall of a abandoned house the group had settled in for the night, only holding each others gaze for a split second of acknowledgment before he was going back to sharpening his arrows and sticks.

It was startlingly similar to how he looked now as you approached him on the perch, knowing he was the best to go to if you wanted the news as bluntly as possible. Glenn would try to sugarcoat things to protect your feelings and Tyreese might just get emotional himself.

Daryl was looking up when he heard footsteps approaching but he didn’t look at all surprised to see that it was you, watching you for a few seconds longer than normal as you made your way over to him and sat on his makeshift bed on the floor. You left some space between the two of you considering you weren’t exceptionally close outside of the trauma bond you’d built over the years.

You didn’t take his emotional distance personally knowing that was just another way the two of you were similar, prone to holding people far away to avoid any damage when things went wrong.

You were studying his expression as he went back to carving something into a piece of wood, frowning softly when you saw clear signs of the damage you were referring to. His tense shoulders gave him away even more and suddenly you were almost afraid to ask what had happened.

“Was it one of us?” You were asking softly and he jumped a little at the sound of your worried voice, lowering his hands and stopping what he was doing so he could turn his head and look at you.

You were panicking internally and running through the faces of the people you’d seen leaving earlier, trying to rule out who might’ve not made it back.

He was chewing on his lip and shaking his head so subtly you almost missed it, and you would have if you weren’t watching him so intensely. Your eyes flickered down to the way he was running his thumb alongside the blade of his knife and you were instinctively reaching down and wrapping your hand around his wrist before you had a chance to talk yourself out of it.

Both of you tensed up at the movement and you were beyond aware of the fact this might be the first time you’d intentionally touched Daryl.

You’d been on the back of his bike a handful of times where he had awkwardly grunted out instructions for you to wrap your arms around his middle and there was a dozen instances where you were having to patch up his cuts or bandage parts of his body.

But those were very different scenarios compared to you purposefully reaching out and touching him gently.

He seemed to agree with your inner turmoil considering he was still extremely tensed up and staring daggers at where your skin touched. You were starting to rethink it and just in the process of removing your hand from his wrist when he was clearing his throat and turning his fist over, showcasing his palm to you.

You glanced at his face again for confirmation but he was refusing to look at you and you figured that was the most you were going to get, lacing your fingers in his and whispering the question you’d asked to him again.

“Zach.” He was eventually answering after another full minute of silence and he spat the name like it was stuck in his throat.

Your mouth parted in shock and you were embarrassed about the small gasp that ripped its way out of your throat, immediately using your free hand to cover your mouth. He was looking at you now and almost like he could see the question you were about to ask on your face, he was speaking again.

“Told her already.”

You nodded softly and squeezed his hand without thinking about it. Frustration with yourself was building up considering you couldn’t think of the right words to comfort him but you also knew him well enough to know he wasn’t necessarily looking for reassurance. Even if he wasn’t in the room with Zach when whatever happened happened, you could sense the guilt and blame coming off of him in waves.

“He was a good kid.” You were eventually settling on something you both could agree on and he let out another low grunt of acknowledgment. “It wasn’t your fault Daryl…. whatever it was.”

“Weren’t even there.” He was shutting down your attempt to ease his mind and you could feel his hand tensing like he was getting ready to snatch it from you.

You were quickly turning your body a little bit more so you were facing him, not just sitting shoulder to shoulder. Your other hand was coming up to touch his arm gently while simultaneously squeezing the one that was still holding his to try and stop him from closing off on you again.

“I didn’t need to be there to know that if it was in anyway your fault, it wouldn’t have happened.” You were speaking firmly to make sure he understood that you meant what was being said, tone just rough enough to try and talk some sense into him. “You carry enough as is Daryl, lessen the load.”

He was looking at you from the side of his eye, bangs in his face now that his hair was getting longer than you’d ever seen it. You couldn’t tell if he was teary eyed or if it was the soft flame of the lantern lighting up his gaze but your heart shattered a bit anyways.

You were glad to see him nod in acceptance to your words and although you didn’t necessarily believe he actually was taking them to heart, you were just happy he had acknowledged what you were saying. He’d heard somebody tell him it didn’t all need to be his burden every time somebody was lost.

This time he didn’t flinch when you squeezed his hand again, not even when you were leaning your head on his shoulder softly and listening to the sounds of the sleeping prison together.

[agnireed]

Any suggestions for Daryl one shots while I work on a fully fledged fic?

[agnireed]

Thinking of writing for Daryl again… is there still TWD readers?

[agnireed]

The Silence of it

MASTERLIST

Chapter 14

Summary

Y/N has been with the group since the start of the apocalypse yet can’t help but feel like she doesn’t fit in anywhere. When they arrive at Alexandria, she should feel relieved. Instead she’s left feeling confused and stuck in her head. A certain someone helps her out of it.

You were growing restless. News from back home in Alexandria was running dry and you were almost starting to regret staying behind. It was breaking you heart and keeping you awake at night, more than usual, to be so far away from your family.

Normally, having Daryl’s company would be all you needed to keep calm and steady, but considering he hadn’t been talking to you as of lately, you just felt more and more unnerved.

You’d spent some time with the King and Jerry, trained with soldiers on their breaks, and even started to help with the crops and harvesting if you were asked. But you still couldn’t stop worrying.

“Y/N.” A voice was pulling you out of your thoughts and you squinted up past the bright sun, hands dirty from the soil you were digging through. You eventually made out Morgan as he approached you. “Do you know where Daryl is?”

You sighed and wiped the sweat off your brow line, not minding the dirt you smeared across your forehead. You shrugged and put your hands on your hips. “No, I never seem to lately.”

Morgan was watching you curiously but eventually nodded, giving you a soft wave as he walked away from you.

You were frustrated again, patience for Daryl being run thin. Quickly excusing yourself to the nice woman who’d asked for your help weeding, you jogged over to one of the King’s men, the first you’d met.

“Richard.” You came to a stop next to him and he glanced at you briefly, not paying you much mind. “Do you have any idea where Daryl is?”

He looked at you now, seemingly interested in you and your situation. He must’ve just realized you were someone from Alexandria, somebody the King had let stay.

“Yeah actually.” He smiled down at you and you missed the glint in his eye. “We’re scheduled for a run here about now, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind the company.”

You were regretting coming along now, regretting leaving the walls with a near stranger and regretting letting your frustrations cloud your judgement.

Richard had practically left you in the middle of nowhere, slipping off while you cleared a few walkers on your way to where Daryl apparently was, something you now realized was untrue.

You’d obviously been lied to but the only thing you didn’t understand was why. What was the play here, if there was one. You felt you’d grow close enough to Ezekiel to understand he wouldn’t do this to anyone, especially a non-allied community.

Wandering now, you were once again feeling mad at yourself for losing focus. You didn’t keep track of where you were heading and you had no clue how to get back to the unfamiliar community.

The air was prickling against your skin and you were exhausted and angry, angry at Daryl and angry at yourself.

You liked to think you understood him, you knew what made him tick and what was happening under the surface and under his facade of cool headedness. You’ve spent the entirety of this new life together and you’d die before he did.

Yet, somehow, you didn’t see him pulling away from you like this, this time. You thought it was different and it was special and it was the start of acceptance towards something you both hadn’t had before.

Suddenly a wave of missing your family washed over you. You weren’t the type to go to them for advice, or anybody for that matter but things weren’t feeling easier.

You missed Glenn and Abraham like it was yesterday, you thought about Beth everytime somebody hummed a song and you still looked for Tyresse in a crowd.

It wasn’t getting any easier and you weren’t sure it ever would.

Your thoughts were exhausting you and you nearly let out a cry of relief when you spotted a small house off in the distance, almost hidden in the trees. You could find your way back to the Kingdom tomorrow, you just wanted to rest for now.

You crouched low and sped up to the house, knives drawn and angled. After sitting and listening for a few breaths, you deemed it empty and stood near the door, angling your shoulder and ramming it into the wooden door.

You flew into the house, still on guard, but paused and dropped your position when you looked around the small room. “Oh holy shit.”

DARYL POV

“The Saviors who discover what’s left, we want them to be angry.�� Richard was explaining his plan to attack a small group of Saviors to Daryl.

They were somewhere out, not too far from the Kingdom, but far enough that Negan’s men wouldn’t immediately go towards that direction. Daryl was skeptical of Richard but the want to finally do something about this was burying that.

“I left a trail from here to the weapons cache I planted, to the cabin of someone Ezekiel cares about, and I arranged it so the stakes are even higher than just one.”

“Who’s that?” Daryl felt more guarded now, the idea of hurting somebody innocent not sitting well with him.

“It’s just some loner he met.” Richard dismissed. “And the girl he’s been spending time with.”

This comment missed Daryl, he took a step outwards towards Richard.

“Why don’t they live in the Kingdom?”

“She lives out there, she’ll die out there.”

Daryl was frozen completely now, piecing together one of the people being referred to. He felt his heart racing in his throat and squared his shoulders. “It’s a woman?”

“It’s two. What’s it matter? The new one has more balls than you and me. That’s why she’s there, it needs to be believable that they did this.” Richard continued to speak but Daryl’s head was spinning now, a ringing in his ear as anger and panicked built up.

“What’s her name?” His voice was a low growl, the threat of his anger building up as Richard started to ramble past his question.

“Maybe they kill them, maybe they don’t, but it’s gonna show Ezekiel what he needs to do.”

“The name. What is it?” Daryl ignored him again, pressing further. He was watching the man with a dark far away look in his eye.

“The one’s tough, maybe she’ll live.”

“Say her damn name.” Daryl was yelling now, his belief slowly being confirmed the more Richard tried to push forward.

He sighed softly and turned away from Daryl. “Y/N and Carol. I was hoping you didn’t know her and I didn’t see you talk to Y/N much, so I didn’t think you’d care ‘cause you know what needs to happen.”

Daryl was fuming, stomping forward to collect his crossbow and gear and ignoring Richard’s pleas for understanding. He felt dizzy at the thought of you and Carol sat waiting in a death trap, his stomach turning with rage thinking about how you even ended up outside the walls.

“You stay the hell away from them, you hear me?” Daryl was spinning back to face him

The sound of trucks and gravel kicking up stole their attention, peering around the truck to see the Saviors approaching in the distance. Daryl felt almost animalistic, the thought of you at the end of this plan turning his stomach.

“Look, we can wait for things to go bad, and lose people or we can do the hard thing and choose our fate for ourselves.” Richard was once again attempting to reason with Daryl and once he was met with disagreement again, he opted for acting alone.

Daryl swiftly ran up behind him, gripping the back of his armor and throwing the man on the floor. He held him down tightly, grunting as Richard fought back in an attempt to stand.

Daryl kept an ear out, listening and waiting for the sound of the Saviors vehicles to die down.

He was throwing punches, full body swinging as he rotated fists. Richard swung something heavy from his left and threw Daryl off of him with the force, both men scrambling for their weapons.

Richard was talking again, pleading for reason within Daryl but he felt nothing but pure murderous rage at the idea. “What we have to do requires sacrifice one way or another.”

“Guys like us… we’ve already lost so much.”

“You don’t know me.” Daryl thought of loss, how it plaques his whole life long before the apocalypse. Then he thought of you.

“She gets hurt.” Daryl started. “She dies, if she catches a fever, if she’s taken out by a walker… if she gets hit by lightning. Anything, anything happens to her, I’ll kill you.”

Carol was outside now, you curled up on her couch looking out the window. A small smile was on your face at the sight of the King, you almost went out to greet him before thinking of the questions it would cause.

She seemed agitated when she stepped back in but you felt like she was lighter on her feet, holding a cobbler in a glass pan.

You smiled over at her and shrugged, the giddiness of the Kingdom and it’s theatrics had remained amusing to you.

“You’ll need to go back soon.” She offered, sitting opposite of you and opening her book, placing it down on her lap. “Daryl will worry.”

“Don’t be too sure of that.” You mumbled, it fell from your lips in a pout and you didn’t bother remaining stoic. Carol was your oldest friend now, despite your lack of talks recently.

She shook her head at you like you weren’t making any sense. “He loves you.”

Your stomach turned and you hugged your knees closer to your chest. You didn’t reply to her verbally, shaking your head repeatedly.

She sighed and went to speak again, stopping when another knock at her door echoed through the house. After all this time the sound still was jarring and unnerving to you.

She met your eye and you felt even more worried when you realized her expression lacked any recognition or expectancy.

She stood swiftly, handing you her book. You watched her back as she swung the door open, watched her shoulders fall and the breath leave her body.

She stepped out of view, out onto the porch and you furrowed your brows. Anxiety was racking you but the lack of sound or anger just left you confused. You gripped your knives tightly and stood slowly.

When you heard the familiar gruff voice start to speak slowly, you froze in place. Their conversation was heavy and low and you felt like you weren’t meant to hear it so you sunk back against the arm of the couch.

“She in there?” You were confused as Daryl spoke, a hum of approval falling from Carol. You weren’t sure how he knew you were here. You looked around for a place to hide and then felt stupid for doing so.

This was Daryl. Although confusing and on the verge of breaking your heart, it was still just Daryl.

And when he stepped around the frame of the door, crossbow clinging tightly to his chest, you remembered again why you’d be okay with feeling this way forever.

He looked guilty and bashful but a wave of peace washed over you, calming fears you didn’t even realize were suffocating you. He had a wild look in his eye beneath the one he always had for you.

He was always going to make it feel complete.

You had hugged Carol goodbye for longer than anyone in your entire life, tears falling onto her shoulder. She was teary too but petting your head and lightly scolding you for acting like she wasn’t ever going to be back.

Walking back to the Kingdom with Daryl, you still felt that heavy sadness of leaving her. You were thankful for the dark of the night, covering your red cheeks.

It didn’t help that he wouldn’t even glance in your direction, silent and distant, all the way on the other side of the road.

If it wasn’t so dangerous, you bet he’d be walking in the fields just to be farther away from you.

“How’d you know I was here.” The words felt loud and heavy in the silence, taking up space they weren’t supposed to. But curiosity was weighing on you and the quiet was suffocating.

He didn’t answer for a long time, not sparing a glance to your side of the world. For a moment you wondered if he had been zoned out and didn’t hear you or if he was opting for pretending you didn’t exist.

Then the sound of his boots was gone and you halted a few feet infront of him, glancing back to see he had stopped walking and was watching the back of you.

You turned slowly, confused, and titled your head in his direction. He scanned down your face, your furrowed brows and tired eyes. He avoided looking below your nose.

“Richard told me a plan.” He started off slow and you watched his silhouette tense like he was recalling a nightmare. “Leading the Savior’s back to Carol and you.”

You were confused as you tried to understand what he was saying and what the Savior’s had to do with Carol. Your face dropped as you slowly understood what he meant and why you had been left out here.

“Is he alive.” You asked tentatively, watching his reaction.

He didn’t say anything again, biting his lip and glancing around the empty air.

“Yeah.” He eventually mumbled and you sucked in a breath, not sure if you were relieved or scared. “But I would’ve done it.”

You shook your head and instinctively took a step towards him, hands raised in approach. He didn’t need to hear you speak to understand what you were thinking. You didn’t want him to do that.

“I mean it. If I thought he’d do it I would’ve killed him then and there.” He sounded stressed out and angry again at the idea, agitation pouring off of him. “I’d do that for you.”

“Don’t say things like that.” You spat the words like the burned, recoiling away from him and hugging your arms to your body. “You’ve barely spoken to me. It’s too confusing Daryl.”

Now he was stepping forward, keeping his distance but making an effort to lessen the gap you were creating.

“I’d do that for you and I’d die for you Y/N.” He was pushing forward in his words and you felt yourself darken, anger and confusion finally reaching it’s limit with him.

“Then why do you do this to me.” You were almost screaming now, totally forgetting the existence of walkers or anything besides Daryl. “Don’t you see how this is what’s killing me. You’re what is hurting me Daryl.”

He was shaking his head and fumbling backwards like you shot him. When he spoke again his voice was weak and breaking around the words.

“Don’t.”

“I’m serious.” You yelled. “I’m going crazy Daryl, I don’t know why you hate me so much.”

You weren’t embarrassed when you realized you were crying. You were exhausted from trying to figure him out, longing for him day in and day out and worrying about his safety or what he was thinking about.

“I could never hate you.” He sounded panicked and you shook your head, flinching back when he took wide strides towards you.

He froze when you flinched back, hands stopping mid air around you at the reaction. You met his gaze for a second and felt yourself break at the look of hurt and shock passing through his face.

You knew he’d never hurt you, you also knew if he touched you it would be over for you.

“I..” He seemed frozen around his words, like he was having to pry them from his lips to present them to you. “I need you.”

Shaking your head again you sucked in a tight breath. It wasn’t enough for you now, his words that were constantly lacking action. You spun on your heel and started to walk again, longing to be back at the Kingdom.

You grunted softly when you felt his hands wrapping around your arm, both of them holding it tightly as you turned around. He was basically cradling your arm in an attempt to keep you there.

You felt your resolve weaken, watching him struggle to communicate how he felt. You thought about what Carol had said.

“I love you Daryl.” You breathed out and shook your head, prying your arm out from his grasp. He clenched his hands around nothing, stumbling forward towards you.

You wanted to turn again, to leave him there in silence a few paces behind you until you could go separate ways at the Kingdom, maybe you’d even go home. You wanted to let him sit with this fact and to understand how much you needed him.

Instead you held his face in your hands and watched him with soft but exhausted eyes. He leaned into your touch like a wounded dog and nearly whimpered at the contact.

You wanted him to hear you and to feel what you were saying. You hoped he’d have no doubt about the way you felt and start to feel like he could deserve something like this, atleast enough to fight for it.

“I love you.” You repeated, voice firmer this time. “And I’ll wait for you forever, longer than I already have, but I need you to remember how small that could be.”

Maggie and Glenn passed through your mind, just at the start of their family. And then Sasha and Abraham, only just being brave enough to try together when it was already over.

“Fuck forever.” His voice was snapping you out of your thoughts and you felt his rough hand cup yours that was still over his cheek. “I’m here now, you’ve got me.”

“For how long.” You felt like yelling again, stepping back from him and lowering your hands so they were rested on his chest. “Until you’re scared and run away again?”

He nearly sneered at you instinctively, the words hitting a sore spot for him. “Ain’t scared.”

“Then what is it Daryl.”

“Don’t you get it?” He was sneering at you now, taking a few steps away from you and you felt a flash of familiarity at the curl of his lip. Daryl was closing off again, a ghost of the angry man he’d been before.

“I do get it.” You lowered your voice, it coming out soft and reassuring. “I get it and you know I do, but I can’t do it anymore.”

And you did get it. You knew why Daryl was scared, why he couldn’t say the words that would put you at ease. But you were sick of losing people with regrets.

“So that’s it? You’re leaving?” He said hurt and confused, pacing slightly like a cornered animal. You shook your head and sucked in a rough breath.

“Find me when you’re ready.”

[agnireed]

Daryl is so….

[agnireed]

The Silence of It

MASTERLIST

Chapter 13

Summary

Y/N has been with the group since the start of the apocalypse yet can’t help but feel like she doesn’t fit in anywhere. When they arrive at Alexandria, she should feel relieved. Instead she’s left feeling confused and stuck in her head. A certain someone helps her out of it.

It almost felt like you were dreaming. You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were going to wake up and suddenly things would be back to how they were, you’d be back to being alone.

So you opted for not letting Daryl out of your sight for now, following behind him like a lost puppy and reaching out to grab his shirt everytime he took too long of strides away from you.

Luckily he seemed just as eager to be around you, just more hesitant in acting on it. You wondered what he was feeling, what he had been feeling being kept there, away from everybody.

You knew that if it were you, you probably could die from the pain of it all. This group was all you had and you couldn’t bare to be kept away from them, stomach hurting at the mere thought of it.

A hand squeezing your elbow pulled you from your depressing thoughts and you leaned sideways, melting into Daryl, who was stood next to you against a bookshelf.

Gregory and some of the group were debating, talking about how and when and if to fight, but your head was fuzzy and floaty and you knew that regardless, Rick would win this argument, and you’d have to fight again.

Daryl was clearly listening, sitting up against the wall and causing you to stagger slightly. “What the hell man. You’re either with us or you ain’t. You’re sitting over there talking out of both sides of your mouth.”

Gregory was ignoring him, ignoring all of your efforts, and swiftly dismissing you with a distasteful joke about not being seen on your way out.

You sighed softly and shook your head, following behind Tara and listening to Rosita and Sasha’s angry words.

“Can’t we just kill him?” You offered, just loud enough to make sure he could hear and Rick sighed, patting you on the shoulder.

You were stood in a line in the middle of nowhere, eyes squinted against the bright sun to look at the man standing infront of you. You were having difficulties understanding this whole Kingdom thing, not feeling too confident in the abilities of someone who called themselves a king. It reminded you of the governor, only more theatrical.

This man, Richard, was supposedly leading you to speak with the king and you were hesitant, following behind at the back of the group.

It was a nice place, people chatting over large patches of groups and fabric with vibrant colors strewn about for decoration. You were doing a headcount on just the people you could see from where you walked and you glanced at Rick to see him nodding at you, having done the same.

You weren’t sure how many people you’d need for this, not sure how many Saviors you were going against other than a rough estimate.

It wasn’t too much of a surprise for you when Morgan approached your group, accepting hugs and greetings. You smiled softly at him, thinking he fit in well here.

When you got inside of the auditorium, the group infront of you froze in their place and you frowned, stretching onto your toes to try to see over them.

“Holy shit.” Left your mouth, louder than you intended and you heard a chuckle come from the stage far infront of you. You didn’t bother checking who was the one laughing, eyes locked on the large animal infront of you.

“Oh right, I forgot to mention that.” Jesus started and you felt yourself smiling without even realizing it, stunned at the sight.

“Yeah.. a tiger.” Rick sounded struck and you almost teased him for the shake in his voice.

The tiger roared as you approached and you finally diverted your attention to the man sitting center stage, on a large makeshift throne. You followed Daryl into the aisle of seats he cut into.

“Alexandria, the Hilltop, and the Kingdom. All three of our communities have something in common, we all serve the Saviors. Alexandria already fought them once, and we won.” Rick was beginning his speech, his plea for help and ally ship and you monitored the King’s facial expression.

You let out a breath when you couldn’t get a good read on what he was making of this, deflating slightly. You felt a hand touch yours and tensed for a moment, sparing a quick glance sideways to see Daryl. He was still watching the stage, standing on guard, but he squeezed his hand around yours.

Michonne had began to speak, mentioning losses only briefly before Morgan interrupted, earnestly asking who had been killed. You had almost forgotten he didn’t know.

“Abraham.” Rosita spat. “Glenn, Spencer, Olivia. Eugene was taken. They took Daryl, he escaped, every second he’s out here, he’s a target.”

You felt him freeze next you at the mention of his capture, of the danger he was in, and you leaned into him, bringing your other hand up to hold his arm so you were hugging it as you held his hand.

The energy in the room was rising as people began to speak, adding onto what Rick was proposing to the king. Your stomach was tight with both hope for help in this, and fear knowing you’d have to fight regardless.

The king was standing now, the tiger growing restless and following suit. “Rick Grimes of Alexandria.. you have given the King much to ponder.”

You’d been invited to stay the night and despite his want to go home, Rick had said that you all would.

Like always, sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and you were mirroring your nights back home, perched up on a porch railing and simply observing all night.

You had almost forgotten that Daryl had returned now when you heard him clear his throat, slightly jumping at the sound. You looked over at where he stood in the doorway and smiled softly, waving him closer.

He slowly approached you but kept a small distance away, hesitant and awkward in the way he was fidgeting with his hands.

“What?” You spoke lowly and raised an eyebrow, frowning at his weird demeanor. You thought you were starting to get past acting like strangers.

He watched you for a few beats and didn’t say anything, biting his cheek and avoiding meeting your questioning stare. Eventually he shook his head and leaned against the railing post infront of you.

“M sorry.” His voice was so quiet, you barely caught what he was saying. But when you processed his words, you frowned deeply.

“Don’t do that.” Your voice was firm but soft and honest and you shook your head, wanting to reach out for him. You decided against it, wanting him to have the space he required to be able to talk to you.

“It was my fault.” His voice cracked and he stepped in place, like he was frustrated at himself for being upset. You swung your legs off the railing and landed on your feet infront of him, still keeping your distance.

“Blaming yourself isn’t going to fix this Daryl.” You kept your voice steady, even if your resolve was shaking seeing him upset. “Maggie still would’ve gotten sick, we’d still have been out there. They were going to find us one way or another.”

He nodded his head slowly but you knew he didn’t believe you, you knew he’d spend the rest of his life feeling sorry for what happened.

You started to lean back against the railing but he shot you a quick panicked glance, reaching out towards you like he didn’t realize he was even doing it.

You frowned and stepped closer to him, into his reach. He didn’t hug you, just seeming content on having you next to him.

“I missed you.” It felt slightly lacking as you said it, like missing him wasn’t accurate to how awful it felt when he was gone. You let it linger in the air, not expecting him to respond, and he didn’t with words. He tugged you closer to him and you wrapped your arms around his middle, leaning your head against his chest.

You listened to his heart beat and took a deep inhale, holding back tears.

“Thought about you the whole time.” You heard him speak from above you, hesitant and awkward like he wasn’t sure if it was okay to say. You pulled your head back slightly, just enough to look at him.

“Things will change after this.” You whispered, holding his stare. His eyes were soft and tired as he looked at you. “We will have good dinners full of boring talks and I’ll iron your shirts.”

He chuckled at this and shook his head, lip curled up just slightly.

“I’m serious.” You smiled back at him but your voice was firm. “You’ll get so sick of me.”

It was quiet for a beat and you hoped he couldn’t feel the way your heart pumped against him.

“Not possible.” He mumbled and you felt yourself flush slightly, embarrassed by how serious he sounded now. You furrowed your brows and pushed further in your teasing.

“So you accept my offer to grow old with me then Dixon?”

He was still watching you with that expression on his face and you shifted slightly against him, wanting to know what he was thinking about that was causing him to look at you like this.

He hummed and nodded slowly, referring to your previous comment. Your mouth parted in surprise and he avoided your gaze, clearing his throat to ease the tension.

You felt him start to pull back slightly, the post he was leaning on stopping his movements before you could.

“Don’t do that.” You frowned, confused and saddened that he always pulled away from you. You were starting to think he’d never learn to accept it, or maybe you had read it all wrong and he just didn’t want to.

“Not good with it.” He mumbled, embarrassed and looking anywhere but you. You felt slightly relieved at what he was saying, confirming that he was just scared in general and not uncomfortable around you.

“Why do you have to be?” The teasing tone was back in your voice but you didn’t reach out for him again, letting him rest back against the post. “I’m not either.”

He scoffed and you raised an eyebrow causing him to shrug and shake his head. You didn’t change the subject, watching him and waiting for him to explain.

“Seems easy for you, I don’t know.” He was shrugging again and picking at his fingers. “Always right next to people, giving hugs.”

You scowled and cocked your head, confused at what he was talking about or where he was going with this. He let out a frustrated sigh at your lack of understanding.

“Is that what you think?” You tried not to sound accusatory, genuinely curious if he had watered down your touchiness and affection as merely something you did with everybody. You know for a fact you were very reserved with touching other people, not sure if he had seen something or was just assuming. “It’s only intentional with you.”

He was looking at you from under his hair and you felt like you were teetering a dangerous line here, something too heavy to lay down on this night.

“Why me?” His voice was curious but you sensed the insecurity that came along with it. You wondered if Daryl had even considered the possibility or if he determined a long time ago you’d never see him like that.

“I don’t know.” You breathed out and shook your head, embarrassed and feeling slightly like a deer in headlights. “I mean, I do know, of course I know but..”

“But.” He finished for you and you furrowed your eyebrows at him for a moment, a bit confused on his line of questioning and the timing of it all.

A wave of defensiveness washed over you but you took a deep breath before you spoke again, attempting to contain it.

“What about you then?” Your voice was slightly venomous. “It’s not just me so I want to know too.”

He seemed thrown off by what you said, maybe thinking you’d never bring up his behavior towards you. And you never had planned to, scared it would do nothing but make him run off.

He shrugged, mirroring your response a few moments ago and you took a hesitant step closer to him, relief passing through you when he didn’t scurry away or tense up. He almost seemed to be expecting it this time.

“I think about you all the time.” You opted out of a confession, instead being vague in your wordings. “And I don’t want anyone else to think of you.”

Now he tensed but you somehow knew it wasn’t at what you were saying but rather the thought of somebody else thinking about you too.

You grabbed his sleeve, softly tugging his arm up and thankfully he understood your direction, wrapping it back around your waist. It wasn’t a hug like earlier but you were still close and touching.

“Talking is too hard.” You sighed, jutting your lower lip out in a frown and eyeing his chest instead of meeting his eyes. You heard him laugh softly and looked up and down quickly.

It was quiet for a moment and you started to feel that embarrassment sink in again, holding eachother but not speaking. You weren’t used to this and it was a bit of a jarring change.

“It’s different for me too.” He finally spoke, voice gruff and low and it took you a moment to understand what he was referring too. You remembered your half confession back at the graveyard in Alexandria and flushed.

You nodded slowly, nervous you were somehow still misunderstanding what he was trying to say.

Meeting his eye again, you felt taken back by his expression. You were starting to recognize what it was that you commonly saw.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, watching eachother and drinking up the luxury of being able to do so.

And you were more unsure of what point did the distance close, suddenly closer to him than you ever had been and far closer than you ever thought you would be.

Kissing Daryl was suddenly the only thing that made any sense to you, that pit in your stomach fluttering away and the buzz in your head quieting just for the moment.

Only for a moment did the grief and fear disappear, the uncertainty that was stuck solid whenever you thought about him or what he possibly could be thinking about you.

Then he was pulling away and backing up from you quickly, a grunt falling from his lips while yours parted in shock, a hand raised against them softly.

You realized now that he was the one who had kissed you, taking you both off guard. His expression now made you think he hadn’t even noticed he was doing it, acting on impulse.

He wasn’t saying anything but he was stood a few steps back, body turned like he was ready to disappear back inside or out into the darkness. You took a step towards him and he flinched back.

“Daryl.” You breathed and cocked your head, voice weak and confused. Any other time you would expect this, knowing how he is with getting close to people, but the shock of it had thrown you off balance and you were slightly hurt.

He shook his head and you stepped forward again, relieved when he let you and didn’t shake you off when you gripped his arm.

“Hey, Daryl it’s okay.” You urged and he glanced at you, eyes shielded and low. “It’s okay.”

He let out a breath and you pulled him into you slightly, letting go of his arm once you felt he wouldn’t run away and opting for holding his face.

You were suddenly brought back to that night, before the lineup, inside that truck when he was bleeding and you were sick and exhausted.

For a second you wondered where he had been your whole life, why you never realized something this major was missing. You felt that embarrassed and clingy feeling creep up again and didn’t even mind it.

“Yeah?” He sounded nervous and it was almost jarring to see him without his usual monotoned resolve.

You didn’t bother answering him with words, instead softly pulling him down towards you with both hands and kissing him again. You teetered onto your tiptoes for a second, rocking back down.

Slowly his arms were around you again, hesitant at first like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to touch you and then squeezing you roughly as soon as he did.

You’d never need words with Daryl, despite the confusion at times and overthinking easily solvable things, you wouldn’t trade this.

He didn’t need to say how he felt for you to understand now, the feeling of him holding you against him like he’d do anything to keep you there was more than enough.

It was you that pulled back from him, flushing bright red when you saw him breathing harder than normal with a bright look in his eye.

You watched eachother for a moment in silence before laughing softly, leaning your head against his chest and squealing when he hugged you tight and lifted you off the ground slightly.

Your stomach was on fire and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face, feeling a bit like a teenager with a crush and not somebody who was facing death everyday.

Daryl didn’t seem to mind, keeping you close to him even when you eventually stumbled back inside after a shudder ran through you as the night chilled the air.

You felt slightly embarrassed when you saw Rick, sitting up against a wall where his makeshift bed was, and watching the two of you walk in with red faces and twisted limbs. Luckily Daryl didn’t seem to notice the fact he was awake, you imagined he would have let you go out of shock.

But all Rick offered was a soft and tired smile in your direction, a nod of his head accompanying it. You smiled bashfully back at him as you climbed into bed.

You had fell out of the conversation after the King denied your groups request for help in the fight against the Saviors. It was falling on deaf ears, even as the group started to make it’s way to the gates.

You spared one last glance back at Ezekiel, frowning slightly at the guilty look he had. As upsetting as it was, you didn’t blame him for his decision. You imagined Rick didn’t either, despite the disappointment on his face.

Rick stopped when you got to the gates, turning towards Daryl who was stood next to you.

“You’re not going.” He said firmly, no room for discussion and your heart sunk to your stomach, a sick feeling coming over you.

“I ain’t staying here.” Daryl argued, confusion lacing his words but you quickly understand what was happening. It wasn’t safe for Daryl to be anywhere the Saviors had access to.

“You have to. It’s the smartest play. You know it is.” Rick countered.

Daryl was breathing harder now, sparring a glance towards you and shaking his head at Rick. “Then she stays.”

Your leader looked between the two of you, only half considering it. You knew he was leaning towards saying no, leaving behind two of his closest friends and best fights only having consequences.

Rick wasn’t a dictator, he’d never force you into anything or to go anywhere, but he knew you valued his opinion and followed his word, even if it went against your own.

“I won’t be much use.” You offered vaguely, but the implication behind your words wasn’t lost on either of them. You weren’t at your best without Daryl. “Besides, somebody has to actually talk to the King. Not just stare him into submission.”

Rick was looking at you, eventually signing and nodding, patting Daryl on the shoulder and hugging you before walking through the open gates.

He stood there as they closed, separating you and the rest of your family. You felt Daryl take in a breath and you were reminded of the fact he had been away from you all like this for so long, having just gotten you back.

You snaked your fingers into his resting hand and he flinched for a second before fully understanding it was you next to him, and he wasn’t alone this time.

He squeezed your hand tightly and you pulled him away, back towards the kingdom.

Your home for now.

A/N well… it happened!!! was it satisfactory lol let me know any feedback or thoughts please!

[agnireed]

Are you guys antsy for a kiss scene yet….