ah-death - Tumblr blog

[ah-death]

[ah-death]

Fallout 3 remaster is great and all but if I can’t romance Charon or Gob I’m going feral and breaking into Todd Howard’s house and filling all his shoes with minced sausage

[ah-death]

extremely invested in their well-being while also being able to do very little for them in-game

[ah-death]

[ah-death]

Eda and Butch are menaces to society pt 2

Edalynn: I have an idea

Butch: A good one?

Edalynn: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Edalynn: My kink is saying some incredibly cornball shit and watching a person speed run the five stages of grief as they realize with horror that they still want to fuck me.

Charon: You are so fucking weird.

How was I supposed to know there’d be consequences for my actions?

- Edalynn probably

Random Stranger: *pointing at Edalynn* is that lady bothering you?

Gob: Yeah, but she's my wife, so I kinda signed up for it.

(after killing Moriarty)

Sheriff Simms: We’re talking about a man’s life.

Edalynn: Yeah, but he beat Gob, so it’s kind of, like, eh...

Gob: Just heard Eda call Dogmeat a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

Random Rivet City Citizen in The Muddy Rudder: I dare you to-

Butch: Oh! No, Eda hasn’t been allowed to accept dares since we were 10.

Edalynn: According to my dad, I apparently have 'no regard for my personal safety'.

Edalynn: If I had shape-shifting powers, I’d abuse the hell out of them.

Edalynn: Like, If I was losing an argument, I’d just turn into their dead relative.

Butch: That’s genius!

Charon: … What the hell is wrong with you two?

Edalynn: You can trust me. Let’s not forget who pulled you out of the vault pool that time you almost drowned.

Butch: Let’s also not forget who pushed me in, you little—

Gob: You should treat others how you'd like to be treated.

Butch and Edalynn simultaneously: Killed without hesitation.

Nova: No!!!

Edalynn: *Discovers Butch left the vault and has been hanging out in the Muddy Rudder ever since*

Edalynn: How long have you been staying here?!?

Butch: Don’t try that. You know the concept of time confuses me.

Edalynn: Gob, you love me, right?

Gob: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation no doubt, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Charon: The other day, I was upstairs in my room and I heard from downstairs in the livingroom Butch say “are you sure this is a good idea?” and Eda reply “trust me”.

Charon: I have never scaled a set of stairs so fast in my life.

Edalynn, to a Megaton citizen: On a scale from Gob to Butch, how impulsive are you feeling right now?

Butch: Okay, sure, I set the sink in the vault diner on fire one time because I thought I saw a radroach and you use me as a bad example for years to come.

Edalynn: First of all, I was using you as a bad example long before the Sink Fire of 2273, and I will use you as a bad example long after you’re dead and buried.

Edalynn: Second of all, don’t try to pretend that fire was an isolated incident.

Edalynn: You know, I’m learning some very valuable lessons out here in the wasteland.

Nova: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away

Edalynn: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Butch: I have plenty of in-depth knowledge about a multitude of subjects.

Edalynn: Oh yeah? I bet I can name something I know more about than you.

Butch: Oh yeah? Try me.

Edalynn: I know what the top shelf looks like.

Butch:…would you like to experience a slow and gruesome death?

Charon: *Frustrated from trying to get the Edalynn to be even remotely mindful of the danger she puts herself in* Have you ever won an argument with Edalynn?

Butch: No, when we were kids, I’d just beat ‘er up every time she'd start to argue with me.

Charon: What about now?

Butch: Now? She tells me to shut up, and I shut up.

Charon:

[Edalynn finding Butch in Rivet City]

Edalynn: The Greaser made it to Rivet City by itself?

Edalynn: I didn’t know it knew how to do that.

Gob: *using his medicine skills to check Edalynn for injuries after a tough fight* Well, I have your prognosis.

Gob: You’re a stage five dumbass.

Edalynn: *pulls out a chinese assault rifle*

Butch: How many of those do you have?

Edalynn: *pulls out another* How many do you need?

Butch: *complaining and whining during a trip around the wasteland*

Edalynn: You know, you’re talking a lot of shit for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each worth about 16,000 caps on the blackmarket.

Butch: You and me, this isn't working out.

Edalynn: Are you saying we should start annoying other people?

Edalynn, drunk: *points at Gob who's tending the bar* That’s my boyfriend, suckers!

Charon: Your husband, Eda.

Edalynn: My husband! Even better!

Gob: I can’t get Eda to come out of our room.

Butch: Just tell her I said something.

Gob: Like what?

Butch: Anything factually inaccurate.

Edalynn, running into the room, furious: You think tHE SUN IS A FUCKING PLANET?

Edalynn: And this is my older brother, Charon- Charon?

Charon, sobbing in the corner:

Butch: The only way to defeat a bully is to stand up to him!

Butch: Trust me, I have bullied a lot of people and have paid dearly for my transgressions in the form of Edalynn.

Gob: I did something terrible...

Edalynn: It’s okay babe, I have a shovel.

Gob: Wait, what do you think I did!?

Edalynn: It doesn’t matter, no one will ever know.

Edalynn: *pulls back curtain while Butch is showering*

Edalynn: Are we — stop screaming, its me — are we out of Nuka-Cola?

Edalynn: What are you, a cop? Fuck off.

Gob: Hunny..

Edalynn: Ok, sorry, one more time.

Priest:

Priest: Do you take this woman to be y-

Gob, trying to get to know Eda better: So Eda, what are your goals in life?

Edalynn: I've been banned from every major city's public transportation system except New Vegas. I don't know what their limit is but I will fucking find it.

Charon: Guys, since this looks like the end, I just wanted you to know… you’re not really the two people I wanted to die with.

Edalynn: Ditto.

Butch: Actually, I’d always planned on the three of us being buried together in a tomb.

Charon:

Edalynn: If we make it through this, you and I are having a serious talk.

Charon to the Edalynn: After many, many hours, I’ve come to most wretched of realizations. One that might curdle your very blood.

Charon: You are my friend.

Gob: *Knocks on door*

Edalynn: You can’t come in!

Gob: Why not?

Edalynn: Because, uh, Butch is naked!

Butch: What?

Edalynn: Well, I couldn’t tell him I was naked. He's allowed to see me naked.

Butch: Why does anyone have to be naked?

Butch: You saved me, Eda. I owe you my life!

Edalynn: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not impressed.

*Edalynn and Butch hugging Charon*

Charon: Why are you squeezing me with your body?

Edalynn: It’s a hug, Charon. We're hugging you.

Edalynn: (knocking on Butch’s door) Butch! We need to go! Come out!

Butch: Ok fine, I’m bi!

Edalynn: Not what I meant, but I support you! NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE—

[ah-death]

I've decided to make an OC for fallout 3. Her name is Edalynn.

Eda and Butch are menaces to society pt 1

Gob: Is that everything Eda?

Edalynn: Yep! Oh wait, do you want this?

*Eda takes out the mini nuke and smacks it on the table*

Gob, freaking the hell out: WHERE'D YA GET THAT!?

Edalynn:... Around?

Edalynn: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Butch: It's not a joke, I'm a legit snack!

Gob: I’m glad Charon feels safe enough to sleep around us. He looks peaceful.

Eda: *uncapping a black marker* And vulnerable.

Eda: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter and Gob will accidentally cut his poor little hands on your stupidity. Please take my word on this.

Nova: What did you do?

Edalynn: A MISTAKE

Edalynn: *Stubs her toe* FUCK!

Gob: Mind your language!

Edalynn: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Gob:

Butch: You really have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes Gob.

Edalynn: It's a little muggy out today.

Gob: Edalynn, if I go outside and all our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leavin' you.

Edalynn, sweating: *Sips Nuka-Quantum from a bowl*

Gob, tying up their riding brahmin: Can you get us a table love?

Edalynn: Sure thing!

*Seconds Later, Running Out of Rivet City with a table*

Edalynn: UNTIE...THE BRAHMIN!

*Edalynn and Butch are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Edalynn: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Butch, enthusiastically: Well that's encouraging!

Butch: You're right.

Edalynn: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Gob: Where are you going?

Edalynn: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there.

Butch: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nova: Wasn't Eda with you?

Edalynn: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Edalynn: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Butch: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Charon: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Edalynn: Bye Gob! Bye Charon! Bye Fawkes! Bye Jericho! Bye Gob!

Butch: You said ‘bye Gob’ twice.

Edalynn: I like Gob.

Butch: When Emma gets older, I'll teach her about sports and stuff and you guys are in charge of her emotional crap. We agreed that's how we'd raise our kids.

Gob: Our kids? Butch, I'm married to Edalynn.

Butch: Sorry man, package deal.

Gob, looking to Eda:

Eda, shrugging: Can't get rid of him. I've tried.

Butch: Is Charon his real name?

Edalynn: He’s older than us.

Butch: That’s not what I asked.

Edalynn: That’s the information I have.

Butch: You're late. We said meet at sunset

Edalynn: I can still see the sun, you fucking midget

Nova: *Sneezes*

Edalynn: Oh, bless you.

Gob: *Sneezes*

Edalynn: Oh no Gob are you sick?! Here let me get you a blanket. Do you want some brahmin noodle soup?

Butch: *Sneezes*

Edalynn:

Oh my God, shut the fuck up.

Butch: Eda makes fun of me for my height.

Gob: Eda makes fun of everyone for their height.

Nova: you can't even be mad. She's 7ft tall.

Some Raider, trying to intimidate Charon: I have your little vault dweller!

Charon: Which one, the greaser or the one I actually care about?

Raider:…the tall one that doesn’t have any self preservation instincts???

Charon: Yeah, you don’t have her, she has you. Good luck with that.

Charon: um I have a joke to cheer you up.

Butch: You, a joke?

Charon, hesitant: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good.

Butch:

Charon: Butch?

Butch, screaming: CHARON JUST TOLD A JOKE!

Edalynn, somewhere millions of miles away: OH MY FUCKING GOD

*Butch killing raiders*

Edalynn: I can't believe that's the same guy who cried when he got jelly on his fancy pants

Amata: *nodding, impressed*

Edalynn, talking about Butch to Gob and Nova: He listens to The Adventures of Herbert Dashwood on the radio even though he owns all of the holotapes.

Edalynn: Pointing this out confuses and upsets him.

Edalynn: Butch, we tried things your way.

Butch: No we didn't.

Edalynn: I did. In my head. It didn't work.

Edalynn: Write "nothing is set in stone" on my grave as both a witty pun and a subtle warning that I will be back

Butch: Once again, Butch and Edalynn save the day.

Charon: You didn’t do anything, it was all Eda.

Butch: We’re a package deal. Everyone knows that.

[ah-death]

Gob: see you soon, drunkie

Me:

[ah-death]

Do not separate them.

[ah-death]

Can I join the Gob loving squad?

Gob Loving Squad™ !!

Current population: 2

Join today! Benefits include:

loving gob

talking about gob

adoring gob

the boy

wanting gob to be happy

shooting moriarty

gob

reeeeeeeeeeeee

look at h im 

[ah-death]

The point of Fallout 3 is not to "find your dad" or "save the wasteland" the point of Fallout 3 is to sit in the saloon and listen to Gob insult the customers when he thinks they can't hear him.

[ah-death]

Fallout 3 is bad

You can’t romance Gob

[ah-death]

I'm gonna choke Moriarty with my bare hands 🤠

Reblog if you're part of Gob protection squad

[ah-death]

†💀💀

He's just a little man 💀💀

no hate, no bash. I'm literally making this poll just to make you guys suffer. you have to pick one, I'm sorry. lmao

also, don't mind mutant mayhem's pic. I couldn't be bothered to find another one

[ah-death]

I will shit in your left shoe, don't do this Mutant Mayhem.

Everyone after hearing that Leo might have a crush on April in Mutant Mayhem & having 2012 Apritello flashbacks:

[ah-death]

No guys actually like classic cock. They just put it on when they’re in the car with other guys because it is the safest option and then they have to pretend to like it to each other to force a conversation

[ah-death]

Simon “Ghost” Riley

THE VEINS THE VEEEEEEIIINNSSS

[ah-death]