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aheartfrcats · 16 days ago

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Erasing ESFJ Stereotypes

By cosinusniehaus

ESFJ is probably the type who has the worst stereotypes ever (along with the whole ESxx squad) and it’s one of the reasons I couldn’t see myself as an ESFJ for a long time. Not to mention that a lot of these stereotypes are far from being true, and I’m tired of seeing so much hate for my own type.

ESFJs cannot break from the crowd, and just go along with everything society demands from them

Some ESFJs are like that, some are not. This has bothered me for a long time because as a younger teenager, I definitely tried to break away from the crowd: I was a Harry Potter, Doctor Who and Tim Burton geek who loved everything strange and unusual and admired the gothic fashion. Throughout my life I’ve heard multiple times that I’m different, that I have something special about me that no else has. I speak my opinion, which tends to be different than others’ due to the huge amount of time I spend on tumblr. ESFJs has dominant extroverted feeling, which means they care about the group as a whole and will respect social norms, and auxiliary introverted sensing, which means they are inclined to rely on what’s known (if everyone around me think this thing is good, they’re probably right- it’s proven to work)- that doesn’t mean they can’t think for themselves.

ESFJs aren’t creative or interested in abstract ideas

ESFJs has tertiary extroverted intuition, which means they’re outward with their intuition and like to brainstorm random ideas and share their creativity with others. I’m known for having crazy ideas for future TV shows and movies and basically for a random sense of humor at times. As they grow up, ESFJs learn how to use their intuition for something other than worrying, and trust me that it’s glorious. I draw, write, sing and play piano- creativity is one of my trade marks, while being an ESFJ. I once had a talk with my ISFJ friend about god and how the universe was created and why people hold onto religion, and we were both very interested in the topics and had one of the most interesting talks ever.

ESFJs aren’t able to think logically or see both sides of an issue easily

ESFJs are actually great at seeing both sides of an issue, because they can relate to each side using their extroverted feeling. True, we have inferior introverted thinking which makes us to doubt or logical decisions (which is basically why I fail math despite having a great mind for it), but that doesn’t mean we can’t be logical! I’ve met some ESFJs who are high level headed, me included. I love word games and puzzles like any NT.

ESFJs are highly resistant of any change

Here is Cher, expressing my thoughts for all the stereotypes. Also, I just noticed that many ESFJs are blonde, myself included, ha. Anyway! Back to the point. When I was a kid, I basically transferred schools because I was bored. I am the person who changed their majors the most, because I wasn’t willing to stop unless I was totally happy with my choices. True, we can be afraid of the unknown at first (you should’ve seen me when I first took the train; it was awful), but once the unknown becomes known we aren’t afraid of it anymore. We might be slightly wary of change, but once we learn about it we can adapt quickly as any other type.

ESFJs are overly emotional and smothering

Okay, I’ll admit that it can be kinda true: ESFJs can depend on others like they want others to depend of them, and we want an emotional response from others. We are outwardly emotional, but trust me- we’re not more emotional from IxFPs, we just aren’t afraid to show it. We need to get things off our chests. To be honest, I’ve been described as having a good head on my shoulders and rational, especially when compared to my ESFP sister. We can be smothering and mothering (I’m barely 17 and people constantly call me “mom”), but that’s only because we care and we want to help. We can be a bit forceful with our help, but when we realize you don’t want it we’ll let go.

ESFJs are backstabbing bitches who only care about gossip

?????? What even????

ESFJs bitches? They’re pretty much the nicest, warmest, friendliest people ever! Where this stereotype came from anyway? They might be nice to your face while not thinking such good things behind your back, but that’s only because they care about your feelings and doesn’t want to hurt you. I think this stereotype came from unhealthy people who aren’t always ESFJs, but are typed by others as such due to the negative opinions regarding ESFJs. About gossip- until the 9th grade I refused to gossip because I thought that’s hurtful to others. I gave up in the end, but not all ESFJs are gossipers who only care about their reputation.

I could go on, but my mind went blank right now. I’m writing this after I looked for “ESFJ Stereotypes” online, and you know what I found? ESFJ hate threads. Yep, not even kidding. You know how much it sucks to find threads dedicated to hating you, because of negative stereotypes? I hope more people will realize that ESFJs aren’t so bad, we’re just like any other type- some are healthy, some are not. We’re not inferior and evil just because we’re ESFJs.

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aheartfrcats · 18 days ago

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The instinctive subtypes as I understand them

My attempt to consolidate what I’ve read in a way that filters/presents actual data without forcing them to fit it inso hamfisted, tortured shemes or concepts & to synthesize something from at times not all that concordant sources & illustrate descriptively where the differences are; I’m not under the illusion that I don’t have a PoV, but I can try.

Basically ppl initially theorized that each of the instincts would produce similar suptypes, but while they have certain similarities (ie, sp/sx being invested in their interests, sx/soc startng personal conversations with everyone… my mom somehow extracted a particular cashier’s entire family history), the ‘state of the art’ is that each type can present quite differently when filtered through one’s instincts, which fasciatingly illustrate how the self awareness/willpower, complex cognition, raw emotions & your instinctually driven brainstem all sit on top of each other and sorta form a whole.

In some types the subtypes can be fairly similar, in others they can be extremely different, especially when they go bad…

sp 1 - Someone who wants to be right/good/super-ego compliant when it comes to their own affairs and their everyday life; Might have a perfectionistic approach to their own work & behavior or even living space (keep it neat & presentable etc.) and/or turn it inward in an anxious way to the point of obsessive tendencies. Might be cordial or, if healthy, even warm to others, not so much showing the cold or hot zeal you’d find in the other subtypes.

soc 1 - Has a colder, teacher-like demeanor; Most intellectual 1 especially with a 9 wing. This is the “nitpicky” one the stereotypes are loosely based on, basically a person who wants things to be done right in society, wether it is the country at large, their workplace or their friend group, and be measured & controlled in their interactions with others.

sx 1 - Wants to spread in a ‘dialogue’ setting; Most likely to openly display anger, the type of person to be outraged at all the injustice in the world. Unhealthy individual might be a moral watchdog/ white knight/Nosy Neighbor projecting their own rejected impulses onto others or perpetate institutional/religious abuse, often having a “why not” approach to hypocritically fulfilling their desires on the side in the process of decrying others out of a twisted envy for their (”I repress my desires so everyone else should, too, even though it’s my cjoice to begin with”); Healthy individual would fight for actual good causes and be an uncorruptible whistleblower making sure society stays fair.

sp 2 - Quite different from the stereotype, this subtype hopes to make themselves loveable with a childlike, innocent/endearing demeanor. Might expect to be taken care of & act spoiled & entled; Sort of project more ‘static’ good attributes to attract the love & care of others & might feel they have to keep their attention/entertain them somehow to not be overlooked. Healthier individuals will be sweet, charming & caring and provide for their loved ones with material/well-being related favors.

soc 2 - The “Charity Worker” or “Mom friend” sort of person. While the previous subtype acts overly childlike, this one is overly adult & wants to be in the role of the caretaker while perhaps overlooking their own needs/ fill an important/helpful/indespensable role for a larger whole of people, perhaps an organization - for that reason this subtype can actually be ambitious & leaderlike to get an important position (and/or help a lot of people). Can get meddlesome, histrionic, dramatic (”You all don’t appreciate my efforts!”) and/or develop psychosomatic problems when unhealthy.

sx 2 - The closest to the stereotypical version; The sort of person who always needs to have someone to focus on/ (best friend, boy/girlfriend, children…) really can’t stand being alone. Unhealthy individuals might end up on the manipulative or codependent side, more functional ones will be giving & generous toward their loved ones.

sp 3 - The “Businessperson” Markedly different in that while they might still be braggarts, they’re not overtly flashy and might even disdain flashyness & rather play up their no-frills, pragmatic qualities; Projects an image of ‘being able to care for themselves completely’ & not needing anyone (”I didn’t take no free handouts from no one”) which might manifest as being very sucessful, ambitious & industrious, and, in the best case, inspirational, adaptive & preseverant with a “can do” attitude; Most focus on self-improvement.

soc 3 - Now here’s where the flashy is at; This is the commonly known version. Might be interested in fame & popularity or at least adoration in their circle, comes with a lot of “aura” around them, less enlightened individuals might tend toward the fake, shallow & grandiose, but in the more self-aware ones we find confident public self-love & ppl wo are very good at making an impact on others & making their dreams come true.

sx 3 - Also fairly different but accounts for a lot of em, for example, I was surprised to learn that 3 is the 2nd most common type among ESFJs, and sure there might be some enterpreneurial or flashy ones but they’re not what we most commonly think about… but that was before I got this info. This subtype will present as attractive according to the values present around them, maybe the gender norms, they’ll try to have the perfect friends & family & partner, perfect house etc the stuff the magazines recomend to be liked & admired but more admiration by the ppl immediately around you than society at large; Might still make a good actress or star tho but in a different way. Though all 3s are usually on the more extroverted side or at least very good at social maneuvering, it’s the least pronounced in this subtype and some can even be a little shy, maybe worrying if they measure up to what they feel society expects from them; As with all 3s getting an understanding about which wants & goals are truly theirs, being transparent about those and knowing that they’re valuable just for being people probably helps.

sp 4 - These are complex, apparently. I’m not sure f it depends on the wing, the exact stacking or simply how life has treated them, but these tend to fall into two categories; Their similarity is that they tend to deal with their feelings/uffering more by themselves, and might be kinda torn between wanting to take care of their shit by themselves but also lowkey wishing someone would notice, which they might deny or be embarassed about; Also they might use physical possesions/decorations as a means of self-espression but be detached of non-symbolic possesions.

Some of them might present as relatively sunny & quirky, with an undercurrent of melancholy there, the sort to try to keep up a smile and lament about the mishaps in their daily lives and self-console themselves with some chocolate or scented baths or other material things.

The others will do the “enduring it by themselves” more through projecting toughness (and might be easily mistaken for 6s or 8s.) sort of like this type of anime character who’s a tough, cold adult woman that is all embittered because of some sad backstory; In the extreme of that you get a risk-taking, vagabond–like person.

For whatever it’s worth, as a sp-first person with a w4 and secondary 4 fix, I’d say I have traits of both; It depends on which mood you catch me in.

soc 4 - Probably the ones that could be said to most overtly display shame; They’re also fairly different depending on their functionality level, less functonal ones will often compare themselves t others & find themselves lacking/ have low self-esteem and might (ironically) be the most socially anxious and/or avoidant and reclusive.

In the medium range some of them can be involved with subcultures (goth, hispter, punk, what-have-you) as a way to reconcile the opposing impulses of seeing themselves as disparate from the larger society but still wanting to belong to a group.

At their best they often become savy critics of society & will try to help keep society staying true to authentic ideals or make it better.

sx 4 - The 4 classic. Better characterized as a refusal to feel shame for who they are and perhaps a kind of resentment over their lot in life; Attitude of having been personally wronged. Dramatic & possibly competitive (especially with 3 wing), might be very critical of themselves and others & lament the unfairness of their situation, in extreme cases to to the point of vindictiveness, errecting an arrogant superior veneer or misanthropy (”I hate (normal) people.”)/ feel that others have it easier/get more attention than they deserve & be resentful over that;

Might be tempestous, intense & feel personally wronged, be moody or sullen & just generally have a lot of feelings.

As their best they’ll be uncompromisingsy idealistic & integrous and will turn their high standards toward being their best possible selves & doing the best possible work, generally very creative folks and care a lot about making sure everyone’s treated with respect & fairness despite their differences/ might want to help others also become their best possible selves & generally stand up

In searching partnerships they might run into the problem that they have very high standards and might not find someone who meets them or become disillusioned when their partners don’t live up to their ideals; Also I’ve read somewhere that they have the minor quirk of often staying friends with their exes.

It is to be noted that these usually start out as those super sweet sensisitive, imaginaive children before middle school/[any random stressor] happens to them and that a lucky few mantain/regain this in adulthood, but there’s always going to be a fierce, immediate quality to their individualism.

sp 5 - The ‘Hobbyist’ mostly spends all day with their own pursuit of their current obsessions; Introvert among introverts, autonomy & having their own space is very important (many chose to live alone or at least like to have their own area in the house, where they might keep personally significant or potentially useful stuff; Might be minimalistic. Or just quirky. Tends to really like the idea of “secret hiding places” & construct/stock a ‘lair’ that they won’t have to leave more often than necessary so they can follow their pursuits. )

soc 5 - The most intellectual/detached & most uninterested in ‘everyday life’; often tries to fill the role of an ‘expert’ in society/a group & see that as somthing they have to ‘bring to the table/contrbute’; Often interested in symbolism or understanding how society works, the meanings behind great patterns, might have a tedency to admire people they agree with or find accomplished & be drawn toward groups of other ‘experts’. The most detached from small-scale everyday life. Less pleasant examples might be stuck-up & elist.

sx 5 - Least outright ‘academic’ and kinda more dreamy with more of a ‘natural’ curiosity a rich inner life & artsy inclinations, might dream of best friends and/or lovers but not be as good at realizing it IRL because of their withdrawn nature.

Could be mistaken for a non-sx-4 or sx 9 but distinguished by the sharing of thoughts & information as a point of appeal; Want to share thir own secret world with the person & have their thoughts be understood.

While individuals without sx in their stacking/in the last spot might want a partner who’s not too demanding & uncomplicated to live with, (if they’re interested in finding one at all), folks with a more pronounced sx insticts will look for friends &/or partners they can have an intellectual exchange with. (Or at least phantasize about finding them)

sp 6 - The “warm/cute” variant of 6. Looks endearing, kind & harmless so others will trust them, wants to be part of gropus in their local surroundings - family, community etc so less system-oriented, or rather working for the system in their immediate surroundings. Tedentially the most phobic/ compliant variant; Under extreme stress, turns into anxious nervous wreck.

soc 6 - Most intellectual, outright ‘mental’ and system-oriented variant, will seek to understand the rules that govern society, most sceptical, keeps authority in check, can be a sort of beaurocratic legaliatic person or a dutyfull whistlblower. Examples which go bad can become conspiracy theorists or outright paranoid.

sx 6 - The ‘warrior’/’punk’/’rebel’, most counterphobic & reactionary of the subtypes, most rebellious, sort of sublimates energy, the interpersonal “testing” behavior is probably most overt here. The sx drive toward making a direct impact on the people you regularly interact with comes out as wanting to have a tough, intimidating effect of people, to have them respect (and therefore not coss/harm/betray) you. Can be mistaken for 8 but while these are more ‘lone fighters’ or ‘ringleades’, & just want others not to cross them, the 6 will react more to perceived infractions into their ‘territory’ and rely on strenght in numbers where the 8 is adversrial & independent.

Can be real badass & stand up against unjust authorities/ actually get trusted & respected, but also become complete fanatists at worst.

sp 7 - The ‘Hedonistic ‘Pragmatist’: Focussed toward getting their physical needs met and seeks physical/material pleasure. While some name the soc 7 as the ‘countertype’ I personally think the sp 7 is one that has the marked difference to the others: While other 7s will be idealistic and can be naive, this one is instead pragmatic, materialistic, realistic & wordly quite unlike the ‘scattered, unfocussed, pixie dream girl’ 7 stereotype.

Can be a good business person, extroverted yet discernin nature helps to form & secure & formaliances, and be pretty assertive and enterpreneurial, even agressive.

Less functional examples are at real risk for addictions (with or without substances involved) & can be pretty selfish & ruthless as they see much of the world as commodities to cosume and might lose sight of everything but ensuring their own material comfort.

soc 7 - Wants to make “the most of their time” in the sense of interacting with/ contributing to larger society and ‘doing worthwhile things’; Your classic ‘benevolent adventurer’, might travel the world with their friends and/or become a activist/ work toward noble causes, have a self-sacrificing bent. Probably the subtype where the ‘overplanning’ problem can be most apparent.

Maybe because the soc instinct’s drive to focus on the group and the fear to lose your own hapiness are more likely to conflict, this is the subtype where the inner anxiety can be the most prominent/ closest to the surface, especially with a 6 wing. Because of all this, can be mistaken for social 2, but ephasis, motivations & reactions will be subtly different as they’re not so much about earning the direct grattitude of others .

sx 7 - Seeks mainly intense experiences & connections to others and as such can be adventurous & very novelty-seeking. Often has a certain ‘manic creativity’ to them, probably embodies the ‘positive’/’optimistic’ aspect of the 7 the most. Can be very dreamy, idealistic & energetic. Partnership wise, they might be very romantic & look for the one ideal person.

Also adventurous, can have a tendency to be impressed by/aprreciate/ be excited about all the new cool things they encounter/people they meet.

One common downside is that these individuals can be a bit on the naive/ suggestible side, at least in their youth, and might end up inadvertedly sabotaging their relationships with their tendentially scattered nature.

On the lower health levels, there can be actual manic tendencies, and increasing inability to control one’s emotions

Can occasionally be mistaken for a 4, especially with 4 fix.

sp 8 - The ‘tough lone fighter’ sort of 8; A bit like a sp 3, they’re going to want to show that they can take care of themselves and some might express this though securing material wealth, though the independence will be more pronounced, wating others to get off their case & respect their boundaries more than to make an impression on them like the 3 or ‘be the boss’ like the other subtypes (though they might still fill the boss role to get shit done/ not tolerate disrespect/just by virtue of acting dominant)

These are typically very self-governed ppl who don’t listen to or rely much on others and follow their own judgement, sometimes to the point of an ubermensch mentality. (not necessarily a bad thing depending on what their values happen to be, they could fall anywhere between honest, fortright & & following their own justice without yielding to outside pressure/hypocricy, or self-servingly amoral) One particular quirk/traits is that they will often act idependently/ “just go and do something” without referring to other authorities especially if it’s something related to getting what they need; In some cases this can lead to ruthlessness.

soc 8 - The ‘ringleader/gangboss’ sort of 8, where the adversarial, jungle-survival-y attitude of the 8 gets projected onto their peer group & the strenght/ filling of the ‘strong’ role is lived in part through taking others under their wing.

The worst example would be that one archetypical short guy leadin a band of bullies, flanked by two taller musclier cp6s. Or they could be muscly themselves, it’s the ‘ganboss/armed-with-a-posse’ part that’s the point. Exertion of power/intimidation through having a group as your asset. Other pitfalls can be black & white thinking where the ‘them’ group is seen as practically a caricature, ie basically mob mentality. (Donald Trump anyone?)

The best of them is pretty much the exact opposite, someone who protects & forms a band for the downtrodden. more the sort of person who’d kick a bully’s ass and offer the bully-ee to check out their friend group & empower them to be more confident; Of course part of that involves allowing themselves to feel tenderness for their friends (and indirectly, for themselves) & feel for their troubles.

sx 8 - More geared toward projecting strenght & self-ruled-ness in terms of direct interpersonal impact, this is going to be a person with an impressive commanding and/or tough aura; Often someone you have to respect even i you don’t agree with them, a ‘charismatic/magnetic leader’ (more sx/soc) or intense rebel (more sx/sp) sort of person.

Unhealthy individuals can have a volatile temper and be possesive, controling partners, though those are ppl shooting themselves in the foot due to their inability to fully trust others; Actually they’re the most at home in a ‘Lady & Knight’ sort of dynamic and a well-developed individual will be very comitted & devoted to their partner.

While 8s with less pronounced sx instincts might look for a ‘worthy opponent’ type partner who is also impressive & idependent, this subtype especially is all about trust & look for someone who will be completely loyal & trusts their decisions & might even have self-awareness to recognize that that is because that makes them feel safe themselves.

They take betrayal really badly (though most 8s do); At the very best they’ll wash their hands of you. Doesn’t help that many 8s are types with absent/polR or inferior Fi. This is not a place where you wanna poke them.

sp 9 - An earthy creature of habit sort of person, whose means of ‘tuning out’ in times of stress will tend to be everyday/material comforts like food, watching TV etc. Grounded, calm and patient. Though 9s generally tend to be your typical phlegmatic temperament/‘people-oriented introverts’, this subtype is the most likely to require frequent alone time. Has their own way of doing things and will put up resistance when asked to change their habits.

Tends to be humble & content with their peaceful everyday life but can be inflexible.

soc 9 - This one can be a bit harder to identify because they might not look all that ‘passive’ at first, in fact, they can be quite hard-working, maybe a combined effect of the 9s identification with/reliance on he larger complete system/environment, and the soc instinct’s ability to really comprehend/grasp that ‘evironment’ and its constituents as more than a vague mass, thus the tendency to want to actively contribute to its continued existence & stability, but unlike, say, a 1 or 3 they will do this in a very self-effacing manner;

In the worst case there’s where you find the ‘deadened office drone’ variety of disfunctional nine.

sx 9 - The most ‘dreamy’ nine where the ‘epic inner fantasy’ life is the most pronounced; ‘Idealized Identification with the environment’ will be more bound to particular people though the person themselves might not even be aware how much their idea of themselves & their lives is anchored in those people. he main point of synergy between the instinct and the type is a desire for unification so it’s not usual to find these ppl as nature-lovers, spiritual types, or just, looking for a deeper/ideal form of ‘peace’.

Though with a ostly internal coping mechanism less functional examples can look apathetic & escapistic.

(Corrections always appreciated)

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aheartfrcats · 19 days ago

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ESFJ: A Jungian Cognitive Function Analysis By SimulatedWorld

ESFJ, or Extroverted Sensing Feeling Judger, is a label borrowed from MBTI nomenclature and now applied to the Jungian Cognitive Function set {Fe, Si, Ne, Ti}.

Dominant: Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

“I’d say that I focus primarily on my responsibilities and obligations to others, to the people around me. It’s not just the people that are directly involved with my life–although they are the most important ones–it’s just that I really feel I’m at my best when I’m getting directly involved and doing something that’s immediately useful to someone else. I’m good at just looking at the facts, figuring out a practical way to help people get what they need, and then getting it done. I think a lot of people have a tendency to needlessly complicate things, so they often come to me for advice because I’m good at simplifying their problems into concrete, realistic steps that will make a genuine difference today. And what I’m really best at is doing this in a way that makes me a lot of friends–I don’t like to step on people’s toes, and I feel I’m pretty good at moving things forward in a way that makes most everybody happy. I have a gift for bringing out the best in people–I know how to encourage them because I can just tell what they need to hear in order to motivate them to do their best. It’s hard to express just how important it is to have a strong network of people that you can count on, and to always, always reciprocate that need by being the person others can count on at all costs. There’s really nothing worse to me than letting down the people who depend on me–they need me and I feel most fulfilled when I can be there to assist them in any way necessary. If I don’t know how, I’ll do the research and find out what real steps are needed to bring important goals into reality. I also think it’s really important to be as prepared as you can, but also to take life one step at a time! Just figure out what needs to be done next, and then focus on that one thing until it’s done. If you get too caught up in daydreaming and trying to figure out everything before you even start, how can you ever really make a difference in anyone else’s life?”

Like all SJ types, ESFJs are, unfortunately, often inaccurately stereotyped as busy bodies who have nothing to better to do than enforce arbitrary tradition and social courtesy on those around them. In reality, this is simply not the case for most ESFJs and the idea that this is representative of their behavior is rooted in a number of fundamental misunderstandings about the nature of their function attitudes.

First of all, Fe dominants do not change their moral attitudes with the wind, and they don’t automatically blend into whatever cultural milieu happens to surround them. Although they’re typically very skilled at deliberately doing this when they want to, it’s important to remember that Fe dominants define their positions and directions in life according to their interpersonal obligations–and that means their relationships are defined by sets of common values and implied understanding due to similar cultural and moral backgrounds. Because their interpersonal strategy depends primarily on finding common ground by which to relate to others and form complex networks of personal, familial, and societal loyalties, ESFJs at their best can find something in common with just about anyone. This is often misinterpreted (especially by Fi types) as a deliberate attempt at manipulation for personal gain–and while it’s true that less savory ESFJs are not above abusing their gifts for such nefarious purposes, to assume that this is their standard MO is to completely miss the central point of their value system. Developing common ethical viewpoints with others is, of course, the ESFJ’s way of checking his own viewpoint against a collectivized standard that transcends the limitations on his own personal experiences, like a system of moral checks and balances. But more than that, it’s also his primary method of relating to and dealing effectively with his external surroundings: ESFJs feel most at home when constantly in contact with a lot of different people, because it gives them the greatest number of opportunities to both stay in touch with the consensus among their peers about what is the “right” way to feel, and to offer their heartfelt help and support at every turn.

It’s often hard to explain to Fi types how this sort of mentality constitutes a genuine expression of real feeling–but in order to fully understand the Fe mindset we need to step outside the assumption that everyone experiences the idea of moral virtue in terms of an individual or subjective standard. Even Ti dominant/auxiliary types, while they are themselves Fe types as well, may have great difficulty reconciling their strong individual principles with the philosophy most central to the Fe outlook: that the actual content of moral beliefs themselves pales in comparison to the importance of the relationships and support networks they represent. When faced with an ethical dilemma, the ESFJ’s natural conclusion is that she cannot make any objectively reasonable evaluation of the situation until she understands how the people in the relationships by which she defines her entire existence will feel about the issue in question. If it becomes evident that her first conclusion is roundly rejected by the people she views as peers, she will, in characteristic Fe fashion, tend to push aside her own personal misgivings and adjust her outlook to whatever appears most likely to promote the overall well-being of the larger group while avoiding unnecessary conflict and keeping everyone as happy as possible. For this reason, it’s not at all uncommon to see ESFJs in leadership positions–much like their ENFJ cousins, they naturally gravitate toward situations where they can utilize their people skills to balance productive delegation of tasks against diplomatic cooperation in order to build toward lasting, long-term relationships. In Fe’s world, if you don’t have clearly structured relationships through objectively observable declarations of mutual responsibility, you have no coherent means of navigating life itself.

The classic irony of the ESFJ archetype serves to highlight what is both one of the type’s greatest strengths and simultaneously one of its most glaring weaknesses: self-sacrificial insistence on setting aside one’s own needs and feelings as long as the broader needs of the larger group are met. While this can result in some extraordinarily selfless behavior when applied positively, it can also become a serious issue if not kept in check, as the ESFJ retains the ability to view himself as a “good person” only when he feels he is doing something that serves a practical need or purpose for others–and if that means trying as hard as he can to block out the reality of his own misgivings or reservations, he may forge on down this dangerous path with little regard for the long-term consequences of continually squelching his own best interests. Worse yet, due to this causal association between (and, at times, even total inability to separate) “what’s best for everyone else” and “what’s best for me”, exceptionally unhealthy ESFJs may sometimes find themselves abusing Fe’s awareness of collectivized moral values in order to justify behavior that is ultimately self-serving by convincing themselves that everything they do is “what’s best for my people” in the end. Of course, this sort of behavior is relatively uncommon in most ESFJs–the worst thing you’ll generally see from most of them is the occasional unintentional step on someone else’s idea of personal freedom or expression (though such mishaps are generally well-intentioned) in favor of helping everyone else. The Fe dominant mindset is, in itself, almost utilitarian: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Auxiliary: Introverted Sensation (Si)

As an auxiliary function, Si serves an important purpose as a sort of life raft back to the inner self, a balancing force against the constant demands and expectations of the external world and its objective Feeling requirements. Unlike ISFJs, who are more inclined to (privately) disregard external cultural or familial traditions if their own experiences and insights lead them to believe some other approach will be more comfortable or more effective, ESFJs often have a difficult time breaking from the social fabric of their peers and companions. Like all Pi functions, auxiliary Si serves as a reminder that, no matter what external data may say, there are some things we “just know” from experience, often welling up apparently out of nowhere and providing strong hunches and instincts that something simply doesn’t feel familiar enough to be right.

While Si dominant types typically have little to no problem placing their own experiential perceptions and the resultant expectations of meaning (“I know it’s this way because I’ve done it and I know how it’s supposed to feel”) above externally imposed methodology, the Si auxiliary types (ESxJ) may struggle to a substantially greater degree to integrate their own personal experiences and assumptions into the framework of externalized expectations by which they govern their lives and define their sense of purpose. In seeking to grow and develop on a personal level, it’s vital for the ESFJ to recognize that not all experiences in life can be related completely to others, and that some of the most important personal developments must come from the inside.

As Je dominant types, ESFJs need to depend on some externally verifiable standard by which to “prove” the merit and validity of their belief systems and approaches to problem-solving. If the only evidence she can provide for the value of her ideas is that “it just feels wrong if I don’t” or “somehow I just know this is the best way”, the ESFJ may simply ignore her instincts despite knowing deep down that something is being handled less than ideally–anything to avoid being branded an “outsider” or accused of selfishly placing her own needs above the all-encompassing needs of a greater (and therefore more important) majority. While she may often become accustomed to handling life primarily through habit, routine, and clear instructions, being forced to learn to interpret meaning according to whatever her gut instincts tell her may seem, at first, to fly in the face of dominant Fe’s overwhelming prerogatives. All too often Si is relegated to the background–its suggestions and cognitive influence may make themselves internally evident, but when they conflict with external expectations, the beleaguered ESFJ may find herself at a loss for how to explain them in any way that resonates with her peers or team members.

In general, ESFJs do not appreciate having to completely remap an experience or skill set they’ve internalized before, and in most cases they’re able (via Si’s highly specified database of sensation and associated meaning) to recognize their own natural limitations and avoid wandering too far out into the wild without a clear map. If they find that their established interpretations are continually generating inaccurate or useless results, they may be left wondering whether they can really count on the consistent outcomes around which they tend to structure their happiness and personal comfort. When their personal preferences, obligations, responsibilities, and relationships cease to provide consistently positive feedback, something must be terribly wrong–and ESFJs see it as their personal duty to find out what that is and fill in the gaps, in order to get things running smoothly again as soon as possible. Not only do they need to feel that others depend on them (Fe), they also need to feel secure in the knowledge that they can depend on others (Si)–lest their expectations be let down, sabotaging their ability to predict the outcomes of their actions and thus leaving them at the mercy of random chaos.

Of course, on the positive side, ESFJs who understand how to tap into and express Si in a way that their peers find palatable will vastly increase their skill sets while simultaneously setting themselves apart and injecting their own personal experiences and interpretations into whatever they find themselves engaged in. There’s a lot to be said for knowing when to keep things simple and just stick with what’s already known to work, and Si provides a way for ESFJs to conceptualize ways of doing this while still staying within a framework that is predictable and comfortable to the personal sensory expectations they’ve come to internalize. Like all Pi functions, auxiliary Si has a certain perceptual comfort zone where it feels most useful and applicable, but unlike Ni, its information is based on direct sensory data, and the red flags go up the second something violates its expectations for “normal” assessments of meaning and interpretation. This may even result in seemingly irrational superstitious beliefs–Si, perhaps moreso than any other function attitude, epitomizes the idea that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” If we’ve done it a particular way before and we know it worked, why risk changing anything about our approach until it stops working? After all, we can never be quite sure what “minor” details will end up making a big difference to the outcome, and to Si, it just doesn’t make good sense to destroy a winning formula in pursuit of some idealistic pipe dream.

Tertiary: Extroverted iNtuition (Ne)

Rounding out the ESFJ’s personality in the tertiary position, Ne can perhaps best be described as a “wild card” in the ESFJ cognitive style. While they will rarely throw caution to the wind and leap into the unknown as easily as, say, Ne dominants, they will often find smaller ways to change things up and attempt new and different directions in life solely for the purpose of experimentation. Some ESFJs express tertiary Ne by assuming the “class clown” or other entertainer role among their peer groups. (In this regard, it’s not unreasonable to confuse them with Se dominants, although their motivations are not quite the same.)

Continuing in this vein, many ESFJs enjoy planning and hosting parties and social events–their reputations as the world’s hosts and hostesses, while somewhat overemphasized in most ESFJ profiles, is not entirely undeserved. Instead of completely changing the idea or purpose of these gatherings, however, as an Ne dominant might, tertiary Ne will step in and lead to smaller (but still often adventurous) changes within the context of the more important and consistently maintained ritual. For example, one ESFJ that I know makes a point of trying every Chinese restaurant she can find–she maintains Si’s enjoyment of the consistent expectation that her love of Chinese food demands, but she’s constantly looking for new variations within that consistent theme, just in case something unexpectedly positive and novel happens. This “Ne experimentation within the context of Si’s comfort zone” becomes a running theme for not only for ESFJs, but also for many SJ types in the process of developing their tertiary or inferior Ne: Ne represents a desire for change, exploration, and immediate response to all sorts of different information and new stimuli. It’s the undying optimism present in the hope for a better future, and it’s a large part of what gives many ESFJs their characteristic upbeat attitude: when they’re able to combine a realistic, task-oriented handle on day-to-day goals with an open-minded willingness to experiment with new and creative approaches to those goals, they seamlessly integrate practical productivity with a healthy level of personal growth and innovation.

Of course, not all Ne use is positive in nature. When Si is neglected, leaving FeNe to fend for themselves with no substantial introverted perspective, ESFJs may become far too caught up in the impressions they make on others, resulting in strange and confusing behavior that seems to waver between exaggerated displays of loyalty (and oversensitivity to perceived failure of others to reciprocate it) and outlandish attempts to garner attention and be viewed as interesting or noteworthy. Unfortunately for the FeNe loop ESFJ, these two goals can easily conflict, and when Si fails to provide the subjective perception required to mitigate such circumstances, many stereotypically negative ESFJ traits can arise, precluding the successful bonding and interpersonal exchanges of loyalty upon which the ESFJ builds his self-image. When dealing with more unbalanced ESFJs, expect emotional manipulation, extreme neediness, and even unwarranted intrusion into the private affairs of others–all “for their own good”, of course.

It’s also worth noting that the common assumptions about ESFJ demeanor and surface behavior are misguided at best, and sharply counterproductive at worst. By virtue of its spontaneous and improvisational nature, tertiary Ne may occasionally lead the ESFJ into a role or persona that no one–not even himself–expects from him, and since Ne left to its own devices takes so little time to reflect internally, the resultant changes (albeit mostly temporary) may not always reflect the kind and giving attitude to which ESFJs typically aspire. While they may tend to present a friendly, sunny face to most outsiders most of the time, it’s during a crisis (preferably one they’ve had time to thoroughly prepare for) when the true strength of their resolve, determination, and organizational abilities comes to light. Even when they are decidedly uncomfortable due to abrupt and unwelcome change, ESFJs will rarely reduce themselves to states of outright panic–they don’t have time for that, because they’re too busy focusing on making sure everyone else stays calm in moving toward a resolution that both accomplishes something meaningful and makes every member feel like a crucial part of a cohesive team or unit. Ask an ESFJ what’s most important in a work situation, and you’ll surely find camaraderie, teamwork, cooperation, and mutual respect at the top of the list–but it’s important to recognize that even these ideals, while they are the first line of defense for ESFJs, can be temporarily set aside if circumstances becomes dire enough. When everything is falling apart, ESFJs will do whatever it takes to protect their own–and while they’d prefer to do it diplomatically in most cases, they will not shy away from confrontation if an unexpected situation truly leaves no other options.

Inferior: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

When applied as an inferior function attitude, Ti tends to serve the somewhat peculiar purpose of providing that little voice in the back of the ESFJ’s head that says, “Wait a minute–I don’t care how well this binds my people together; it just doesn’t make any sense!” As Je dominant types, ESFJs often have trouble finding any purpose in the idea of introverted judgment at all. After all, from an Fe standpoint, judgment serves primarily to connect people through an objectively observable rubric that can settle disputes through mutual adherence to a common set of moral prerogatives. When Ti comes along and begins insisting on extremely subjective and personalized principles, its presence may often feel not just foreign, but outright counterproductive. Fe operates primarily through generalized moral precepts that operate most effectively when used to govern and unite large groups–the idea of judgment-based principles that only make sense subjectively seems to subvert the obvious group-oriented nature of this prime directive, leaving the ESFJ to wonder why he should ever bother listening to such seemingly selfish impulses in the first place.

The aforementioned conflict between personal needs and the needs of the larger group is closely related to the conflict between dominant Fe and undifferentiated inferior Ti. While ultimately these two attitudes should work together to produce a more complete and well-rounded worldview, the development process along the way is almost invariably more than a little rocky. As unconscious Ti influences flood his consciousness in moments of stress, the ESFJ will often take out his confusing feelings on himself by redoubling his efforts to ignore these “selfish” impulses. One common method of attempting to cope with the resultant stress and personal guilt involves the reaffirmation of Fe’s collective principles by self-reference back to Ti’s own belief that “everything my group believes clearly makes the most inherent sense (by virtue of the fact that my group is better than yours.)” Dogmatic insistence upon the self-evident nature of her own cultural values may often characterize the ESFJ in the grip of inferior Ti–once her mind is made up that something is inherently true or correct, she may have great difficulty opening up to the possibility that other methods of reasoning and evaluation are worth any consideration at all.

Furthermore, this form of circular reasoning may go completely unnoticed and seem perfectly natural to the generally weak and incomplete Thinking function represented by inferior Ti. Refusal to consider other possibilities grants both a convenient excuse to remain in one’s comfort zone and to reinforce the superiority of one’s own familial or social body. Inferior Ti has a tendency to produce a nagging feeling that there’s no purely structural reason that any one group’s values should be objectively superior to any other’s, but this difficult realization can all too easily be swept up in the current of Fe’s powerful loyalist sympathies and brushed under the rug for convenience’s sake. Ultimately, dominant Fe must confront the idea that foreign value systems exist and that it’s impractical and parochial to go through life excluding virtually everyone who doesn’t fit the arbitrary constraints of the ESFJ’s own personal background and time-tested methods.

As two sides of the same coin, Fe and Ti will eventually reconcile with each other enough to recognize their own symbiotic relationship: the stronger Ti becomes, the more the ESFJ develops his own sense of personalized integrity and universal principles, and the less Ti will serve to simply parrot the group-oriented values ingrained by Fe’s relationships to others and reinforced by Si’s penchant for ritual. The result: a well-rounded, dependable individual who’s loyal to a fault, but knows where to draw the line and set out on his own when his life path veers off in a different direction.

(source)

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aheartfrcats · 19 days ago

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ESFJ Personality Description

Extraverted Feeling

The ESFJs primary function is Extraverted Feeling. The ESFJ primarily sees the world through others emotions. The ESFJ is able to navigate the world of feelings and is very good at giving others what they want or need to feel appreciated. The ESFJ also uses Extraverted Feeling to understand their environment and people’s roles in them. An ESFJ typical wants everyone to be happy and content. They typically can help make everyone feel wanted and welcome at parties or family gatherings. Sometimes, this function can lead to them feeling overwhelmed or lead to them feeling exhausted from spreading themselves too thin. However, being in an environment with other caring and giving people will help everyone feel more content.

Introverted Sensing

The second function of the ESFJ is introverted sensing. Introverted sensing deals with referring to past events and information to help create a better understanding and view of the world. Introverted Sensing deal with facts, data recollection and memory. Someone with introverted sensing can remember specific important events distinctly. They can use this information to understand how to deal with a new situation. Introverted Sensing is also connected to tradition and pastimes. The ESFJ can become very involved around the holidays and other nostalgic events that they have grown up with.

Extraverted Intuition

The third function of the ESFJ is extraverted intuition. This function is developed a bit later in most ESFJs. The ESFJ can use this function to help see alternative points of view and ways of dealing with the world. An underdeveloped ESFJ can be stubborn and rigid, however, with more developed Extraverted Intuition, the ESFJ can then learn to be more accepting and understanding of different ways of life.

Introverted Thinking

The fourth function of the ESFJ is introverted thinking or Ti. This function is developed much later in the ESFJs life and never really becomes a point of strength. The ESFJ uses introverted thinking to logically understand the way things work, and the processes behind them. The ESFJ can also find an attachment to games of logic like Sudoku and other word puzzles. These games can stimulate their Ti and become a comforting form of entertainment. This function is a bit more critical, which can be at odds with their more open and accepting nature. However, this function is sometimes necessary to assess who is truly supportive of the ESFJ, and who is taking advantage of their good nature and hospitality.

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aheartfrcats · 20 days ago

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ESFJ

ESFJs are defined by the functional stack:

Dominant: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Auxiliary: Introverted Sensing (Si)

Tertiary: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

Inferior: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

The ESFJ is an extravert (E) who seeks closure (J).

ESFJ’s Jungian pair partner = ENFJ

ESFJ’s dominant function opposite = ESTJ

ESFJ’s shadow opposite or functional opposite = INTP

ESFJ’s mirror opposite = ENTJ

ESFJ’s complementary opposite = ISFP

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aheartfrcats · 20 days ago

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Draco Malfoy: ESFJ [Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling]

Dominant Function, Extroverted Feeling, Fe: Draco defines himself by his relationships. His family name and family is extremely important to him and he must uphold social traditions. His clubs and house are just as important to him. He strives to make sure that Slytherin wins the house cup and will do anything to make sure Slytherin Quidditch team wins. Draco strives to have a role in society and his struggle throughout the series revolves around this goal. He wants to be an integral part of the social groups in place. He wants to be acknowledged for his work in Slytherin and with the Death Eaters.

Many underestimate the rationality of Fe. Fe is not an emotional process. Draco thinks about the community before his own wants and needs. This may seem odd when phrased in this way as Draco usually isn’t described in such terms. However, Draco strives to take on community roles to hold up the community that he was brought up in. He wants to uphold the Malfoy Family Values. It is why he is a Prefect and part of Umbridge’s team to destroy the DA.

Draco is a very socially fluent person. He reads people’s outward behaviors and interprets these behaviors to standardized social expectations. When he interacts with Harry to befriend him in the first book we see him heavily engaging in Fe. He is feeling for Harry’s reactions. It is why Draco metaphorically pokes Harry with a stick to see what happens. He is constantly engaging him trying to read him. Harry, being an ISFP, won’t react in social ways Draco expects. He also knows how to use his Fe in a negative way. He knows how to cause displeasure in others. He knows just what to say to get under people’s skin.

Draco also heavily needs approval from others. He needs professors to favor him and he needs his family to approve of him. His father is a huge reason why he takes on the task killing Dumbledore. He wants to impress his father and earn the acceptance of Voldemort for his family. He wants to makes sure the Malfoys live up to their name.

Because his feeling is directed outwards he has trouble figuring out his own personal feelings. It is why while he is so busy upholding his family name, Slytherin, etc. we never really see how Draco feels about the things going on around him. He doesn’t stop to ask himself personal questions. He organizes his outer world and makes sure his social role is in place and the community upholding its values. He doesn’t stop to question himself till basically the very end of the series.

Auxiliary Function, Introverted Sensing, Si: Si is what makes Malfoy want to be appreciated for his deeds. He wants to be acknowledged for his work and help others through his actions. Unlike an ENFJ that looks to helping people more as a teacher, looking psychologically into those they are helping, Draco wants to help people through his persistence of actions. He takes on every role he can in school being incredibly involved. He wants his behaviors to be evidence of his relationships with others and therefore his central identity. Draco also uses his Si in his material goods. This can make him look like a trendy ESFP, but the reasoning for his style and tastes is to further assert his role in society as an upper crest wizard.

His lack of using his Si makes him seem super insecure as Si helps an ESFJ take a statement of disagreement as just that and not as a statement of personal disapproval. Draco can’t take forms of criticism as he tries to ignore his Si. His Si makes him question his deeply rooted Fe function. He therefore does take statements of disagreement as forms of disapproval.

His focus on Fe and not focusing on himself makes his Si very self critical. He believes that subjective thoughts should not be entertained as they are unworthy of his time. His questioning of himself and his actions are perceived as negative as they counter what his Fe is trying to uphold with Slytherin, Death Eaters, his family, etc. If he starts questioning societal values his worldview unravels and he no longer feels in control.

His Fe wants approval and doesn’t want to let anyone down. He wants to uphold his promises, like killing Dumbledore, no matter the personal toll. He tucks away his Si which holds his inner reactions to things as they actually are. He pushes this down trying to control with his Fe, but we see a completely unraveled Draco by the end of The Half-Blood Prince as he lets the anxiety of the amount of work he has had to put in for the mission while trying to keep his role in Slytherin house getting house points, good grades, etc wear him down. It is too much for one person to do.

We see Draco start to develop Si in The Deathly Hallows. It really starts to manifest itself in the single moment when he doesn’t kill Dumbledore in The Half-Blood Prince. After this event he doesn’t know who he is anymore. His social role and community is shattering around him as his father has completely lost favor in Voldemort’s eyes and his life at Hogwarts seems to have disappeared. The identity he so entrenched in his relationships with others and the community have vanished. So who is Draco Malfoy without these groups? This is what causes Draco to slowly turn away from his previous allegiance. If he stays with Voldemort his family will completely fall apart and so will the Hogwarts he knew. All things he relied on for his identity. He must then reflect on himself with Si to figure out his own personal needs and not let Fe completely dominate every part of himself.

Tertiary Function, Extroverted iNtuition, Ne: Draco wields Ne in defense of his inferior function and instead of using his Si to reflect on himself and puts all the self critical mentality meant for himself, onto others. It is the fault of others that he has negative thoughts. He sees himself as a victim of others mistreatment and he must carry everyone. He has to lead Slytherin and he has to be the one with the burden to kill Dumbledore for Voldemort and his family. His anger at Harry might actually manifest itself here, with Malfoy thinking Harry is the selfish one, but that point is conjecture. Draco has shoved all of his inner conflict on others that he has convinced himself that he is on the moral side, maybe even a role model.

When his friends show signs of independence he sees them as betraying him. It creates a look of jealousy for Draco. He seems jealous of Harry and of his friends. He becomes increasingly possessive and ironically as an Fe dominant, seems inconsiderate of the feelings of others. This unhealthy reaction to Ti is why many mistype Draco as a Thinking Type. They see cold and harsh behavior as a sign of Thinking and in a way it is as it is a result of a neglected inferior Thinking function.

Inferior Function, Introverted Thinking, Ti: Draco barely recognizes his Ti. Ti helps an ESFJ see their power as an individual to exploit variables at the expense of others. He can’t even see the moral potential of Ti. Despite common thinking of Draco being the impersonal and the cold one, Ti scares Malfoy for that very reason. He doesn’t see it’s potential. It places the personal above the community in his mind. It doesn’t take into account the firm social values he tries to uphold, that he uses to keep Slytherin running and to keep his family together in one piece. However, the effect of not seeing the strength in his inferior function, makes the function in Draco egocentric and a source of prejudice and stereotypes of others.

Draco sees others as selfish and considers himself the all-knowing person on human relationships. He fears that others are not as strong and logical as himself. It is why he is so bossy of his fellow Slytherins. He seems harsh and cold in his dictation of his friends, because he thinks he knows better. He thinks he is helping, but doesn’t see that he is constantly deciding for his friends.

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