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I'm now an officially published author! Enjoy!

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You all. All of you. Y'all. Yousins...

I'm officially about to be a real, professional writer. I mean, I guess I've always been a real writer, but this time I'm doing it and getting paid and it's an assignment with a deadline and drafts and everything and I'm so excited I could pee myself!

It's a short piece of fiction for a blog, and when it's published in late July I'll link to it.

(Still working full time at my job, btw! Best job I've ever had!)

Semi-related, anyone going to GenCon this year?

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Still working on this. Some day I'll finish it

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Not dead got a full time job I'm actually... enjoying??? But it's also physically exhausting. I'm in bed by 8 most nights.

ON THE PLUS SIDE it's not at all mentally exhausting because I don't have to deal with customers!

I'm a blue collar union worker and I'm loving it. 😂

(It's a very tiny company, too, and very related to my interests, which also helps.)

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I love this frame even more now 🦇

Definitely going to go with some distressed and light silver leafing in a few days once the paint is fully dry.

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This post isn't about Nadja, I just wanted to share this pic because it makes me happy and I love my cat so much. 😻😍

So recently (within the last three months) I realized that I'd been struggling with my art for so long because I was trying to be something I'm not. It turns out I never was and never will be a digital artist. Through therapy I discovered that it's just too much for my perfectionism and ADHD, that infinite layers and undo-s (undoes? undies??) paralyze me. I can erase forever without worrying about ruining paper or wasting supplies, but without any boundaries nothing was ever finished. Hell, most things were hardly started! It could always be "more perfect." I was trying to change my style to be more like what I see online, but it wasn't working.

It wasn't really until I'd finished the piece for my sister that I realized that, even though I'd sobbed my eyes out several times while working on it, there was something there still, something I'd been missing with digital art. When I paint with watercolors, there's something else there that's spontaneous, something I can't control, and that was leading to some really cool results! When I painted the wolf for my brother in law, I was actually excited to see what the paint would do. Playing around gave me an awesome effect in the background that I would have overworked to death had it been digital.

All that is to say, I've accepted that I'm analog. Or, maybe a bit of a hybrid in a way since I use my iPad for sketching and then transfer that to paper. Definitely not anywhere near fully digital though. (That's not to say I'm not good at certain KINDS of digital art [my catalog of Sims creations speaks to that!] but yeah definitely way more analog.)

My brain reset...

Edit: WAIT THERE WAS MORE!

Now that I'm getting back to being more comfortable creating art again, I'm going to be pushing myself to do more of the art I know is still inside me somewhere. Ghost Lady is the first attempt at trying to stop being so damned afraid of letting my darker side come out. I'm so annoyed that I'm so scared (OF WHAT?! being mocked??) to be who I am and let that show.

Good thing I'm in therapy.

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New project: Ghost Lady for my fancy frame

Going to redo the frame in black with distressed leafing of some kind! Probably silver because that's what I have at home and also because it'll probably fit the eventual color scheme of the painting better.

Nadja helping.

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Juniper is complete!

With this piece I discovered Two Things:

1) If I do these for commission, any pieces with full backgrounds are going to cost about $36282748 because holy crap was that inexplicably a bigger pain in my ass than any other background I've done recently.

2) Time for me to try gouache or at least stop being so damned stingy with the watercolor. I've NEVER had so much trouble getting my colors to be vibrant!

At any rate, my niece loves it and that's all that matters. 💜

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I didn't take many progress pictures with this one, oh well 😅

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Adventures in Framing

(I've become a thrift store frame fiend.)

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I started shutting down again recently but was able to force myself to sit down the other day and do anything art related. These two are now ready to paint.

The girls made sure I didn't flake. 😍😻

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Finished art for my mom and brother in law.

My brother in law is over the moon about his painting! I was a little concerned at first because he's notoriously difficult to shop for, but I at least had something of an idea for the subject since his room at the lake house had a couple wolves in it. He absolutely loves it, though, and is going to hang it where everyone can see it. All his coworkers want him to bring it in so they can see it, too, which makes me feel a weird gooey mess of emotions.

And now I'm off to go work on the next few pieces!

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FYI: cat breeds are extremely different from dog breeds! To keep it short, dogs have been bred for over 10,000 years whereas cats have more or less just been left to breed however. It's only been in the last less than 200 years that people have begun selective breeding with cats, and even then they're bred more for their looks than anything else.

Having said all that, Nadja's DNA results actually surprised me! I was expecting basically American shorthair standard issue mutt cat with maybe some Maine coon thrown in there, and yet she comes back with a bunch of long haired breeds. I was most surprised to see so much general Persian. Fascinating!

It's also interesting to me that while she's only 13% Siberian, the breed description (minus the long fur and fluffy tail) fits her perfectly! I noticed her stocky legs day one, and am always asking her why she's sitting like a bulldog. 😂

She's currently sleeping on my lap. 💜

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The girls got a new bee toy that they're absolutely obsessed with. Nadja's also obsessed with a bra cup that I really should pick up one of these days.

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This is the longest stretch of art I've done consistently in decades. Therapy is helping me keep going as I struggle with crippling perfectionism.

As always, Nadja's helping 💜😍😻

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"Draw me like one of your French cats."

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We don't do regular Xmas trees in this household because Cats.