#Beached Baby Orca

[aikea-guinea]

My sweet babies 💜🥰😻😻

[woundgallery]

I don't submit many poems for publication, but I am truly delighted that this old piece found a home in a beautiful volume of Prairie Schooner. I wrote this in April 2016, when I was re-emerging from the most deadening period of my life. As much as this poem, on the surface, is about heartbreak, it is much more about the gift of opening myself once again to communion with others and communion with the mystery of our fragile, interconnected world. The person I wrote this for took me by the hand and--with gentleness and understanding--helped me put aside weariness and remember that the world was a place that could still surprise me with a beauty that surpasses explanation, that cannot be neatly explained and shut away. Though it's been years since we have spoken, I am forever grateful for him.

And, as spring quickens in New York City, I am grateful once more to reflect on all I would have missed if I had not made it through the gauntlet of 2015. I would never have met my cat (and love of my life) Willa who wakes me each morning by wildly purring, head butting me like a baby goat, and nibbling my cheeks and nose because she’s just so happy to see me; hiked on Orcas Island with Michael and found a surprise lake which we named Lake Ineffable (because no name was beautiful enough for it) where we stripped off our clothes and swam and embraced each other, blissfully alone and dazed by superfluous beauty; found out that George Washington National Forest may have more fireflies than anywhere in the world; grown into my vocation as a social worker and been blessed to sit in communion with my clients for eight years; built a beautiful relationship with my parents based on mutual respect, affinity, and humor; seen my friends’ babies discover the world; slept beneath a meteor shower sky on a NYC beach in the arms of a man I was suddenly and entirely falling in love with; discovered Eric Rohmer; discovered Wim Wenders;  moved to Laramie, Wyoming where everything looks like the abandoned set of a Western film where the paint has flaked off but he extras are still wandering around despondently; moved to Montana where I remembered that I am part of the whole, not just a body in passing; woke in Missoula to the cold air seeping through my window—still half in a dream of Oregon in October—and stirred, deliciously alert beside the boy I loved, craning toward his sleepy, freckled back, to clutch him closer, the brisk quickening of fall making my body a new thing—wild and tender and alive; swam naked in the ocean; had the chance to work with my best friends and fall even more in love with the people they are based off the kindness they showed our clients; had my best friends, in turn, respect and love me more based of what they saw me showing clients; sat by a lake at night and felt an earthquake swell like a heartbeat beneath my body; drove from Missoula to Washington, Ryan’s van weaving through a forest fire zone until we reached the pure, amnesiac sweep of the Pacific; discovered Simone Weil; been, not only forgiven, but embraced by the person I most wronged after six years of estrangement; made up a silly-serious shared mythology with Steven about a vulture God named Hamm who watches over us with a severe equanimity; backpacked through Olympic National Park with Michael and seen and been seen by the strange shaggy haired deer and rabbits who looked at us without fear; discovered Agnes Martin; read poetry with my sage & strange Mara; discovered Olivier Messiaen; discovered Mary Ruefle; discovered Ana Mendieta; realized that I like the color yellow; moved to New York City; discovered Carol Rama; learned how to enjoy dancing to music other than punk rock; seen a moose in the wild; spent a summer in that yellow shotgun house with the overgrown yard and the porch overlooking the river where we made dinner each night listening to recordings of bird calls; experienced the delights of solitary sunbathing on Brooklyn roofs; encountered places named Hellgate, Bitterroot, and Rattlesnake; recited The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock at 3 AM, wading in the waters of the Long Island Sound; realized I am capable of keeping houseplants alive; heard the thrumming ecstasy of the grouse's wings; learned the name of those clustered, mustard-colored flowers that grow on the Oregon coast; grew grateful for beauty again, remembering the world is not a place I can neatly explain, cannot fold in linen and shut in a drawer; and, most of all, remembered the daily ways we concede—plainly, without theatrics—to live.

Today I am thankful for those who love me and those who allow me to love them.

[dragonshoardofworks]

DannyMerMay 2024

Day 1: Insect/Anchor

The return of Little Baby Moth! (From last year DannyMay)

Something happened since last time the two of them met, so LBMo is reasonably surprised to see Little Baby Man Mer's new form... or is this just an alternative dimension iteration of LBM (by @tourettesdog)? 🤔

(Keep reading to find the answer!)

@pikakaistudios Little Baby Mer inspired me in doing my own, so Kudos and credits where are due!

More fanarts and lore under the cut because it was getting long...

(^～^;)ゞ

Prompt for DannyMay by @dannymayevent and MerMay by @vladdyissues.

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

Since I'm a serial procrastinator and I wanted to be sure the art pieces were at least decent/accurate, I was almost late (but thank CW that I did, because some of them had the wrong orca-pattern and I would have brought disgrace upon myself if I published anything not done right since orcas are one of my favorite animals).

That being said, let's continue the DannyMerMay journey!

Day 12: Time Travel/Seafood

My poor Mer-boy got yoinked temporalily into the past when he was still Danny (so even before the "normal" LBM-fication) and he's feeling reeeaaally distressed at the act of practically cannibalism that his past-self is committing...

(≧∇≦)

Day 2+4+29: Wish/Starfish + Wander/Night + Fireworks/Bioluminescence

Wandering in the night, some interesting encounters are bound to happen...

I wonder what would happen if you wish upon a(n alien) star(fish)...

(≧∇≦)

Day 19+20: Iron/Pearl + Pitch AU/Abyss

LBMer found a his rightful Crown (of Fire) sunk into the depths of the ocean!

But since it was rusty and forgotten, what better way to restore it than ghostly mother pearl?

(Works like ghostly ice, but it's an exclusive power of LBMer.)

(The Crown got bigger than canon, but he smol!)

Day 26: Shoes/Camouflage

They say that imitation is one of the best form of flattery, but when you don't want to get caught by a certain dimensional hopper (and be mistaken for one of his foes), it's the best way to blend in!

(Octopi can camouflage in ways that make you think that magic is real...)

ฅ^≧ﻌ≦^ฅ

(Little Baby Terror unfortunately got caught in the same "accident" that LBM did, so they generally prefer to stick together-ish in case they need help.)

Day 16+22: Glowing Veins/Courtship + Song Lyrics/Songs

I couldn't help myself and sneaked in some Everlasting Trio for the soul.

After all, LBM (and therefore LBMer) is still Danny, even if he has new form(s) and instincts.

They do incarnate the "Would you still love me if I was a worm?", don't they?

(◡̀_◡́)

Song: A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay

(It feels such a Danny song to use, plus I checked how orcas court and while there's some posturing, they also sing! It felt only natural from there... >:3c)

Day 11: Mutation/Shell(s)

And finally: the answer!

LBM found this weird shell on the beach while they were on vacation, but when he checked it (read: nibbed it), it reacted and tooted a magical cloud that mutated our Little Baby Man into a Mer!

(The same fate happened to Dani/Little Baby Menace and Dan/Little Baby Terror, changing them into a Seahorse Mer and Octopus Mer respectively.

I've got a lineart done of them for another prompt, but I didn't manage in time to clean and color it yet, along with a couple of others... ( ≧Д≦) )

This has two versions because I couldn't decide which was better. @teacupsandstarlight suggested the first because of the transforming smoke around our boi, but since I saved both, I told myself: why not upload both?

For now, that's all! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

I still have some linearts to finish/digitalize/color, but at least I contributed to these two fantastic events, hope y'all enjoyed them and my works!

Hope to type ya soon! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

[supercap2319]

Being the only son of King Triton wasn't as glamorous as it seemed. Sure, he was of royal blood. Sure, he was next in line to be King of the sea. And sure, he had cool magical powers that other merfolk didn't, but all that paled in comparison to being the King's only son. Y/N wasn't the youngest of his siblings, but he felt like he was the baby of the family. He was older than Ariel, but younger than Perla.

It wasn't fair. All his sisters got to go out and rule and protect different types of oceans all over the world, only returning home to the Coral Moon. He was his father's shadow. All things that were diplomatic and ruling is what he was meant to be learning. How to rule an army of merfolk and orcas, or how to use his powers to protect his people.

If he wasn't by his father's side, Y/N would often swim to the surface and hide behind a big rock in the tides as he watched a land boy play with a weird creature that had—what do you call them—legs? Feet? The young man was the most beautiful land person that Y/N's ever seen. He had dark hair and those most gorgeous blue eyes ever. He was always laughing and smiling and singing. Y/N didn't understand why his heart flutters every time he saw him on the beach.

[one-vivid-judgment]

Hi hi! An aquarium date h/cs with Joongi and Tomi pls! Thx! <3

My baby boy and my wife whom I love dearly 💙💙 (and want to see get destroyed in a sexy way)

Joongi Han

- He probably has never been to an aquarium himself. Only ever seen it in movies and thought it looked pretty, but never actually gone to one because work always comes first. He doesn't even take that many days off to begin with. 

- His face visibly lights up when you ask if he wants to come to the aquarium with you. "Oh, of course, I'd love to" he says, but you can tell he is vibrating from excitement when you hand him the ticket. 

- Get ready for him to start infodumping if he sees a fish he has eaten before. He can go on and on about nutritional value and health benefits for hours if you let him, and even if he has never eaten a specific kind, he can always start speculating. You'll have to beg him not to ask for clownfish next time he goes to the fish market. That is NOT food, Joongi. 

- Absolutely fascinated by the sea creatures. He never had a proper childhood, never did any activities like this ever and only really started doing fun things when he met Kasuga. Needless to say, he LOVES it. Expect him to ask to come to the aquarium again. He probably loves the dolphins—they are beautiful, but also very fucking unhinged. Sounds like someone you know, actually. 

Eric Tomizawa

- He knows his way around Hawaii like the back of his hand, so you bet he knows an aquarium or two. He used to go with Marie all the time, since she loved it so much, but to be honest, he always paid more attention to her reactions than he did the animals, the lovesick fool. 

- It doesn't go any differently with you, honestly. He knows he is supposed to be watching the jellyfish show, but he'd always end up looking at you instead. You're so fascinated by the little guys, and really, if he wants to see jellyfish, he can swing by Aloha Beach whenever, so why not get his fill of your beautiful face? 

- The type to get super offended if you point at a random fish and say "This you". Like, okay, a putterfish is cute, kinda? But also, just why? Does he have bug eyes too? Or is it the 'small but deadly' part? Then again, he's probably gonna join in on the "Hey, this fish looks like someone we know" game. That orca is Yamai, that clownfish is Ichiban. You? An angelfish. But only after jokingly saying you were an aggressive ass piranha. 

- Take him to an animal encounter experience and feed penguins or stingrays. He'd be extra cautious at first, because hey, it won't kill him but that stingray over there may not like his face, and that could get dangerous. After that though? He has the time of his life. Those little guys are so cute. You still have a pic you took without Tomi knowing of him petting a penguin with the biggest grin on his face.

[sugar-omi]

au where cove is secretly able to read minds but tries to keep it a secret but it's hard when his crush keeps thinking about the naughty things they'd do to him if they were together

first of all. you called me out secondly YES YES YES THIS IS SO BIG BRAIN

cove is always blushing and fidgeting and stuttering bc of what's going on in your head...

you're at the beach? "he looks so hot w his shirt off.... I wanna leave hickeys on him."

he's driving? "his fingers are so long.. they'd look good in my cunt/around my dick" the only reason he didn't crash the car is bc he's used to your thoughts but he's still shook n pulls over at the next stop for a break or almost immediately so you can drive bc he "needs a break..."

he's trying on a tight police officer costume for Halloween? "god his ass looks good... I want him to cuff me and-" he tries to hide his stiffy but you see it before he can run back to his room to change and cove feels so embarrassed but also pleased w your thought "is he-? oh my fucking God. i knew it was fat"

you get ice cream? "fuck I want his tongue on me like that. he prbly knows how to give head..." and terri is patting his back roughly when he starts coughing

ORCA dinner and you put your hand on his thigh? "he's so cute.. I wanna make him scream right now. I wonder if he'd let me suck him off in the bathroom.. or maybe the car? fuck I'd like that"

when you finally do date and go all the way, he loves being able to hear your thoughts even though he's fucked you dumb. he can hear your mindless babbles abt how deep he is, how you're so full, how good it feels. or even better when you lose all senses n can only think of his dick

flushes deeply if you ever think "I want his baby" or "fuck i want him to cum in me" and looks at you. had him ruined for days. so in turn ofc he's going to ruin you, n give you exactly what you want<3

[baby--charchar]

Rhea

(Hazbin Hotel OC/Parame)

I finally made a character sheet up for Rhea~! She's very dear to me, and this helped me really flesh her out within my paracosm.

Her Details:

Rhea is both autistic and Deaf with moderate hearing loss; some sounds are meaningful for her (such as the sound of Vaggie's voice when she's sitting beside her), but her native language is American Sign Language and she is by all means a visual learner/communicator. Functionally, she is nonverbal because few people in Hell know ASL, and there's just no culture of people wanting to better themselves by learning something new (Charlie will change that). She does have communication cards, gestures, and tantrums/meltdowns to let others know what she needs.

She is an age regressor/has a "mental age" that is triggered when she is stressed or scared, usually putting her at 4-5.

Rhea's household never learned ASL, and sent her to a residential school for the Deaf from a very young age. It was a mediocre place, but she had community there. She avoided going home for the summers at all costs.

She is an AVID SWIMMER. Her school was situated in a small beach town, and she spent any warm-ish day out on the water.

She died by suicide, making sure she was in the water. Home. Hence, her regeneration in hell as a fish demon.

She appeared in the pool of the hotel at dawn, alone, naked, and feeling numb. She stayed there in a stupor until Vaggie discovered her. Naturally, like a baby bird, the first person she saw = mama.

Vaggie bonded back quickly. Some of it was pity; this new sinner at their hotel had a really fucked up backstory. Some of it was necessity because this girl could go totally out of control on her worst days, and Vaggie's strength/directness really helped her settle down. But at the heart of it, she's totally charmed by Rhea and thinks she's a sweetheart.

Of COURSE Vaggie and Charlie are trying to learn sign language! It did require smuggling some books and DVDs in from the human realm. Self teaching is hard, but it works.

They already have a few signs that are very helpful, especially when Rhea's regressed: yes/no, stop, help, eat, sleep, sad, and hug. The last one they always use when she's upset. Cuddles are very calming.

Vaggie calls her "cariña" (dear) and mi amor. Occasionally she'll use "Reina" (Queen) sarcastically when Rhea's in a bratty mood.

Rhea can be very volatile. Her aquakenesis means that when she's having a meltdown by the pool, she can make tidal waves so large and powerful they could shatter the glass windows, and all the meanwhile she's screaming and sobbing her lungs out. Vaggie's had to brave this storm twice and drag her out of there sopping wet. It was not fun. Occasionally she bites herself or hits/kicks others, but this is more manageable.

Rhea is an involuntary permaregressor since landing in Hell. She has typical intellect, but her regression causes her very low social/emotional development. She's very cuddly, affectionate, and sweet, however, she is prone to very severe tantrums and meltdowns. She can also be very attention-seeky, and likes being "the baby" of a group.

She has a favorite sippy cup, loves her sensory swing in her room, and has a beloved stuffed orca that Vaggie gifted her. She's also a frequent wetter/comfort voider, so she needs to stay padded.

Vaggie is a no-nonsense caregiver. She is super strict about wake up/bed times, eating meals, taking care of her hair, and behavior. Rhea likes to push Charlie's and Lucifer's buttons when she's feeling bratty, but that's just not gonna happen with Vaggie. If she hears Rhea acting up in the other room, she walks over, STARES HER DOWN WITH THE MEANEST MAMA BEAR LOOK, then signs "...NO." Rhea immediately gets her act together.

Rhea is also bioluminescent!!! She glows softly at night! Vaggie thinks it's very beautiful.

[suspicious-whumping-egg]

Hey blue, could you tell me about whale sharks? :]

-LT

WHALE SHARKKSSSSSSS

Whale sharks (scientific name Rhincodon Typus) are the largest fish in the sea (specifically females)! The longest whale shark recorded is 61.5 feet long, and the heaviest about 47,000 pounds, or 23.5 tons! Their mouths can be around 4-5 feet wide. They also have the thickest skin of any animal, with various sources estimating it to be anywhere between 4-11 inches thick! Their spot patterns are unique like fingerprints and can be used for identification.

Whale sharks are gentle, slow swimming (up to 3 mph) filter feeders that swim around, open their mouth, suction in water like a vacuum, and eat the little organisms that end up inside! These include plankton, krill, and squid! They have tiny little teeth on the inside of their mouth so when the water floods in, the organisms are trapped in the mouth, and then the water goes back out their gills. They have very small throats so they can only eat small organisms, and as such, they pose no threat to humans.

Like many types of sharks, whale sharks are covered in teeth-like scales called dermal denticles that reduce drag while swimming. However, unlike most sharks, whale sharks have these denticles ON THEIR EYES! It is thought to be that this is a method of protecting the eye, and whale sharks can also retract their eyes between 1/2 inch and 1 inch into their skulls to protect them.

Another fun fact is that no one has ever seen a whale shark give birth!! However, it is known that whale sharks are ovivipariois, meaning the pups (baby whale sharks) hatch from eggs while still inside the mother and then the mother gives birth to live young. A pregnant whale shark was caught and the number of embryos inside her were counted at around 300, so it’s estimated they give birth to about 300 pups at a time. Unfortunately, whale shark pups do have predators including other shark species and orcas, even though adult whale sharks are mainly only threatened by humans, and the survival rate of a whale shark pup to adulthood about one in ten.

Human threat is of high concern to whale sharks, as they are an endangered species. Habitat loss due to overfishing and pollution, illegal poaching and selling of whale shark fins, oil, and meat, entanglement in nets and other debris, boat strikes, and unsustainable tourism all pose threats to these remarkable creatures. However, sustainable ecotourism provides a valuable incentive to keep these animals thriving and their environments intact.

Whale sharks are highly migratory animals that prefer deep trenches of water next to a shallower shelf, as nutrients rise into the shallow water and then they can dive to feed on plankton, krill, squid, etc before coming up to warm back up in the shallow area. Prime coastal feeding spots (at certain times in the season) include Ningaloo Reef in Australia, Cancun, Isla Mujeres, and Isla Holbox in Mexico, Mafia Island in Tanzania, Utila in Honduras, Donsol Bay in the Philippines, the Galápagos Islands, Tofo Beach in Mozambique, and the South Ari Atoll in the Maldives.

For many of these places, ecotourism involving whale shark snorkeling excursions has boosted the area’s economy while providing a powerful incentive for the natural environment to be preserved. However, overcrowding can prove a danger to these beautiful fish, so an ethical whale shark snorkeling trip must: forbid “chumming the waters” or feeding the whale sharks to attract them, limit the number of tourists and boats in the area at a time, only allow snorkeling so the whale shark can safely and quickly swim out of a tourists’ reach if frightened or distressed, and prohibit tourists from touching the whale sharks because touching a whale shark can disrupt the delicate mucous membranes over their skin that help protect them from parasites and bacteria.

I fell in love with whale sharks after seeing them at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, the only aquarium in the West to house whale sharks. These whale sharks came from Taiwan, in the mid/late 2000s, and were transported by a UPS plane in specially built tanks!

Links for if you want to learn more, assist conservation, or just for fun!

World Wildlife Fund: Facts and Conservation (article)

WWF: Adopt a Whale Shark (and receive whale shark stuffie!)

Britannica: Whale Sharks

Georgia Aquarium: Whale Shark Facts (article)

How the Whale Sharks got from Taiwan to Atlanta (video)

One Minute Whale Shark Informational Video

Watch a livestream of the whale sharks at the Georgia Aquarium!!

One of my whale shark stuffies

Yellow lab kisses a whale shark (my favorite video on the Internet)

Whale Shark Octonauts (it’s literally so cute) and creature report song. (both videos)

[rodrigobera04]

Water type list. Countdown, nine types left to finish the lists.

WATER pure

Tilapia with healing scales, keeps the fry in its mouth.

Military-themed seahorse, holds its soldier babies in its belly.

Piscinoid elemental with wave fins.

Luminous microorganisms that make water glow.

Turtle with a shell shaped like a canoe.

Giant tadpole that evolves into a tiny frog.

Water spirit possessing a spinning water wheel.

Fishing bat that now uses its wings as flippers.

Fish jumping out of the water with its tail, like in a sack race.

WATER/GROUND

Land whale releasing a geyser from its blowhole.

Bipedal lungfish, using its long fins as tentacles.

Predatory midkipper swimming in the mud like a shark.

Marsh rat camouflaged with mud and marsh plants.

Bobbit worm that now attacks beaches as well as the seabed.

Duck made of clay that swims through the mud.

Dogfish that runs across the land like a dog would run.

Manatee creating underwater sandstorms while pulling up plants to eat.

Desert frog that appears when it rains, being filled with stored water.

WATER/GRASS

Carnivorous plant ultricularia, similar to a voracious fish.

Aquatic mushroom floating on its "floating hat".

Salamander with symbiosis with algae, having a tail made of algae leaf.

Marimo grouped forming a giant vegetable monster.

Pitcher plant that spits water to catch insects instead of waiting.

Mangrove animal, its roots form long legs to walk in the water.

Aquatic snake covered in vegetation, looking like a hairy monster.

Water lettuce looking like a jellyfish floating on the surface of the water.

Vegetable kappa made from a gourd with water inside that gives it energy.

WATER/ELECTRIC

"Mermaid" created by shower water, creates electrical sound waves.

Bird with electrical powers and that manipulates rain.

Sea pig with a plug nose and that glows in the dark.

A neon-glowing discus fish with electric fins.

Luminous siphonophore resembling a chandelier.

Guitar fish vibrating the water with its electric sound.

Lantern fish guiding people on dark nights.

Electric seahorse in the shape of a lightning bolt.

Pikaclone water rat drawing energy from hydroelectric power.

WATER/ICE

Swordfish creating an ice sword with its snout.

Flying fish with crystalline, icy and fractal wings.

Fish trapped in a block of ice, as if they were in a can of sardines.

Water elemental, capable of changing to a solid state and freezing the opponent.

Caribou capable of freezing water with their hooves.

Snowman melting and dripping due to heat.

Fractal starfish, similar to a snowflake.

Fish gathering frozen water that forms a protective body of ice.

Snail blowing explosive frozen bubbles.

WATER/FLYING

Literal kite frog flying out of water.

Gliding starfish, flying through the wind like a shuriken.

Wind creature carrying wet clothes off a clothesline.

Sinister squid with fins resembling the wings of a bat.

Ribbon moray eel flying out of the water with Olympic acrobatics.

Predatory cloud that takes the form of sharks and orcas.

Oreole adapted to water, its feathers look like scales.

Scallop emerging from the water, with its shell serving as wings.

Sea moth with colorful wings that reflect light.

WATER/STEEL

Grouper looking like an armored submarine.

Water tap looking like a bird.

Gladiator retiarum using fishing skills to catch prey.

Megalopine squid looking like the warships of the worlds.

Mollusk using bivalve shells as claws or scissors.

Octopus living in a submerged trash can, collecting trash from the sea.

Lancet fish with bladed fins for cutting prey.

Tuna looking like an underwater missile.

Sailor struggling with anchors and underwater mines.

WATER/FIGHTING

Batfish walking with its muscular fins.

Sea lion looking like a powerful coliseum animal.

Damselfish attacking other fish that invade its algae garden.

Jellyfish striking with their tentacles like boxing gloves.

Elemental creature with muscular arms of water, the literal force of water.

Basilisk racing across the surface of the water.

Diving bird that does synchronized swimming.

Inflatable muscle lifeguard, also blows air in mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Firefighter Dalmatian, with a long hose neck, rival of fire type pokémon.

WATER/ROCK

Trio of lumpsuckers stuck together by their suction cups.

Stone angel, like those that decorate fountains, holding a jug of water.

Marine iguana that is also a gargoyle that blows water.

Huge stonefish imitating a cave.

Gillman using a column from a sunken city as a weapon.

Winged stalactite that combines water attacks and its spiky body.

Laundress that uses stone and water in its attacks.

Rocky placo, able to "clean" the HP of plant types.

Elephant-like sea monster based on rock formations.

WATER/FIRE

Pipefish blowing smoke.

Fish blowing will-o'-the-wisp from its mouth.

Otter with explosive powers, throwing bombs at fish.

Frog releasing hot steam from its body through its holes on its back.

Gunard pistol blowing fire bubbles, his wings change color when attacking.

Volcanic crab with a crust of hardened lava over its body.

Whale blowing smoke from its blowhole, burning fat to keep warm from the cold.

Penguin in warm habitats, roasting the fish it catches.

Oyster hunting birds using a tasty and warm scent to catch them.

THE LEGENDARY:

Water/grass whale based on Noah's ark that sheltered many Pokémon in a flood.

We're done with the water type, see you next time.

[aikea-guinea]

We don't do regular Xmas trees in this household because Cats.

[yandere-writer-momo]

What is katsumi do when he sees mermaid reader at the shallow pool area? She there for the babies to play and taking care of them?

Now Katsumi is an orca merman. So he’s a little… different. He is absolutely smitten with the pink dolphin mermaid who hangs out with the fresh water mermaid babies at the sanctuary.

He would be smushing his face against the glass that separates the two of you. You’re an Amazon river dolphin mermaid and Katsumi is absolutely tickled with how pink your tail is. It’s so pretty, he’s never seen anything like it.

He brings all kinds of gifts, it’s not uncommon for him to bounce a beach ball onto your side in hopes that you’ll bounce it back to him. He’s tried several times to jump the median between your tanks to come see you despite the fact that he wouldn’t be able to be in fresh water for long. He wants to see you! He wants to swim with you.

He gets grumpy whenever you reject his advances but he enjoys watching you interact with the little babies. Katsumi is dedicated to this star crossed love.

The researchers all think it’s cute until Katsumi does successfully jump the median to get to you. They have to pry him off because he’s hugging you so tightly. But he is not deterred!

Katsumi isn’t like other orcas, he isn’t polygamous. He is only interested in his little pink dolphin only! And the two of you will be mates, he’s sure you feel the same way… why else would you bounce the beach ball back and wave at him whenever he waves at you?

Even as a merman, he’s still delusional

[hook-line-and-sinker]

Why Orcas are gonna take over the Planet

A list:

Number 1: They can and will kill literally everything including but not limited to

Swarms of fish by herding them together and slapping them with their tales

Yeeting dolphins, fish, whale calves into the air (in one case 80 feet)

Washing seals of ice floes with artificial waves

Temporarily beaching themself to snap at bird and other animals in the land

Dragging sea mammals into the deep until they drown

Great white sharks

Fully grown great blue whales

Fukin blue whales i cannot stress this enough like sometimes not even for food they just wanna pick a fight

Number 2: Their family structures are more reliable and stable than ur broken homelife

They stay with their mum for life

The whole family cares for the young males and females

The group lead by the oldest female usually consists of up to 4 generations

Females get up to 80 years old in the wild teaching the younger generation hunting techniques

A family of orcas (a pod) never separates for more than a couple hours

A clan (multiple pods sharing the same ancestor) usually lives seperated but meets occasionally

Pods and clans also have similar calls referred to as dialects

Number 3: They could get a PhD they just choose not to

They have the second heaviest brain of all marine mammals

They have a good memory and pass on knowledge over generations

They learn really fast

There was a case of an orca in captivity throwing bits of fish onto land and eating the birds trying to get to it, it them taught the technique to 3 more orcas

A researcher in the 1910s almost fell of a floe because an orca repeatedly tried to flip it over

They learned to steal fish and bait from longlines belonging to fishing boats

When the fishermen set up decoys they figured it out

When the fisherman tried throwing out their nets far apart and with only small time intervalls inbetween to prevent the orcas to get to them on time they got behind it after like 3 times

Conclusion:

When we inevitably delete our species from the planet these guys are gonna reach world domination in like a week. And if we stick around longer than expected they will challenge us to 1on1 mortal combat.

They can literally kill god.

In fact they did the reason theres no god of the sea is because the orcas fukin ate him. Where are the mermaids? Fukin dinner mate! The kraken? Dessert! They fished god out of the sky and fed him to their babies. And then taught them how to kill Satan in a fun family game night.

Additional:

There's albino orcas and they look like white chocolate. Look.

:DDDDD

Theyre out for blood but °˖✧awww pwetti✧˖°

[bitey-baby-shark]

Facts of the Day: 🌊Orcas🌊

Scientific Name: Ocrinus Orca

Length: Up to 31 feet, 32 feet long is the largest on record

Weight: 8,000 to 16,000 lbs on average, largest on record is 22,000 lbs

Lifespan: 50 to 90 years in the wild

Reproduction: Orcas reproduce every 3 to 10 years, giving birth to a single calf after a gestation period of 15 to 18 months. The calves will nurse exclusively for at least a year but will remain close to the mother for the first two years of their life. 

Diet: Herring, schooling fish, minke whales, seals, sea lions, arctic toothfish, stingrays and even sharks

Habitat: They are found in oceans worldwide, however they are most abundant in colder waters like Antarctica, Norway, and Alaska. They can be found in tropical and subtropical waters as well.

Status: Endangered

Summary: Orcas are actually a species of dolphin, the largest of all dolphins. The reason they were initially referred to as killer whales were due to their large size and due to the fact they may feast on whales. However, they utilize their large size well, as they can swim at speeds up to 34 mph. One of the most notable things about Orcas is how intelligent they are. They’re exceedingly skilled hunters, known to beach themselves to drive sea lions into the water, only to slide back into the water to hunt the sea lions with the rest of their pod. They have also been known to deliberately cause large waves to throw their prey into the water, where they are easier to hunt. Their intelligence is also notable due to the fact that they have a skill rarely found in other animals besides humans, which is that they have a culture! Scientists have been able to prove that each pod of Orcas has a distinct dialect and a pattern of learned behaviors that they teach to the new babies of the pod and pass down through generations. 

[book-ish-ly]

Review: ★★★★★

This book left a pretty big mark on me, if I'm being honest. Whales have always felt like very poignant and inspiring creatures in my life, and after reading this, I got a tattoo of an orca whale. I think this book is very well written, dipping in and out of facts, thoughtful concepts, and little blurbs about the writer's life. This book really highlighted the vitality of context to me, something that I've been able to apply not only to other books I've read since, but just in my day to day. Nothing exists without the context it lives in.

Notes:

When a whale beaches, it develops hyperthermia as a result of the blubber layer and no heat dispersion through the water

Stranded whales that suffer too long may be euthanized by

Being blown up with dynamite (assuming targeting the brain/neural system)

“The green dream” euthanasia mixture

Being shot in the head (again targeting the brain and neural system)

When a whale beaches, bones that are the heaviest are on top of the whale and out of the water weight crushes their organs slowly 

In 2018, 150 pilot whales beached themselves and all but 6 died

In 2009, 80 pilot whales beached themselves, and most of them died even after attempted rescue

There was another beaching in 1996, but most were saved 

An old wives tale claims whales beach themselves in response to comets or meteorites (they may also beach in response to solar storms)

A sperm whale washed on shore in Spain with an entire greenhouse’s supply of materials in its stomach (hoses, tarps, pots, etc)

Most polluted animals in the world are the orcas of Puget Sound

Starfish in Puget Sound have a disease that causes their arms to leave/crawl away from their bodies

Whales are often more polluted than their surroundings because of their blubber and the fat solubility of a lot of toxins and pollutants

Some gray whales hunted for food in Russia stunk when carved for meat and the people who ate them became numb- likely from pollution

Whales can hold their breath for so long because the water’s pressure distributes the oxygen through the body by squeezing the respiratory system slowly and dispersing oxygen that way

When cached in blubber, the toxins remain inert. The only way they entered the bloodstream and majorly affected the whales was when they fasted (intentionally or not) (for example: when migrating)

Firstborn whales receive a hefty dose of the pollution their mother carries; subsequent calves receive decreasing amounts of the toxins

Seabirds’ bodies store the pollution in their feathers, to be molted off the body

“To fully comprehend the degree to which any environment was damaged, you needed to consider the ways in which it was damaging from the perspective of other species - from the sensorium of animals.” - seems to be referencing keystone species specifically?

Greenland Inuit women seasonally eat whale meat, but have been warned not to do so during pregnancy, and not to breastfeed their babies at all - “if her milk was in containers other than her breasts, she would not be allowed to take it over state lines.” - BBC Documentary

Inuit women live in the most isolated and least industrialized places on the planet and consuming the whales meant their bodies were still contaminated. Their levels were comparable to people living downstream from gold mines in China and South America. 

Whales represent hope, eco-friendliness in the West

“Apart from the visceral harm done to the animals themselves, their symbolism lay ransacked. A kind of hope was being polluted.”

Whalefalls were only discovered by the Navy in 1977, but today’s estimate of the number of active/current whalefalls at this moment is 690,000

“Did we owe whales greater distance or more intervention? And who was the ‘we’ in that sentence?” 

“We stand in the wake of something we cannot yet comprehend.”

Kodiak Island natives used darts dipped in monkshood flower root juice to poison whales (right whales)

Large groups of petroglyphs may have marked sites where luring of whales may have taken place

“The two smaller engravings that accompany the whale (the Ball’s Head Whale petroglyph)- the man, the horse-dog - were placed into and next to it during an era in which seaborne methods of disassembling whale bodies were established so that ships no longer needed to return to port to process their haul, and whaling could expand to become the first truly globalized extractive industry. The petroglyph was covered up; it was revealed; it was blighted by reflective road paint and cleaned. The Ball’s Head Whale lies now within the fence line of an “eco-living” initiative, behind a garden wall.” -strong irony in the additions white men made to a native petroglyph, strong irony in the “painting” of the glyph with road paint, strong irony in its current location within an “eco living” initiative. Strong irony all around.

“To impart a capacity for witness to the Ball’s Head whale, it has seen - though no eyes are etched into it - the largest cull of any animal order ever perpetuated by our kind.”

A whale’s plunge is called a “sounding”

The Inuit gutted, sewed, and inflated seal skins to attach to whales and keep them from diving - tiring them out and making them easier to hunt. 

Connecticut - bastardized version of Algonquin word “Quinnehtukqut” meaning “Beside a Long Tidal River”

“Whalers spoke of sperm whales traveling the oceans in veins, like gold.”

Sperm whales have a different, more valuable kind of fat stored in their heads called spermaceti. It’s a natural wax, reminiscent of solidified coconut cream.

Baleen “teeth” were tugged from its mouth and used for “sundries” - combs, corset boning, etc. They were generally referred to as “whalebone” (one word)

Baleen was also used for billy clubs and canes for classroom beatings - where the term “whaled on” originated from

Whale bones were used to make piano keys (musical in life, musical in death)

The everythingness of whales… but they’re also just animals…. Humanlike?

People would bathe inside dead whales to cure or ease fatigue, rheumatism - some evidence suggests that it works, but not in the way they thought

About the Ball Head whale - “posits the man may not be in the whale but riding it, surfing the immense animal to shore for a feast, at a time when Eora tribes had begun to starve.”

 Whale = hospital (bathers)

 Whale = hunger/reprieve

 Whale = hope

 In all- Whale = Renewal

 “When animals die out, the cultural and ecological relationships that furnish their existence can be experienced as a kind of nonstop haunting.”

Special blossom - pollinating bat - bat goes extinct - strange blossom seems foreign = becomes ghostly, haunting extinction residue

 Petroglyphs dilate perspective outwards - their relation to each other tells a story we’ve forgotten or never learned how to read - the destruction of other petroglyphs (Ex: the explosion of a sperm whale petroglyph for Sydney’s Harbor Bridge) fractures the storytelling, like ripping pages out of a book

1900-1999 3 million cetaceans were killed. Antarctic baleen whale biomass dropped an estimated 85%

In 1960, dead whales were worth $30,000 each ($260,000 in today’s money)

Lack of bowhead and sperm whales in the Bering Sea = more urchins = urchin barrens. A barren cannot really repopulate and renaturalize without human intervention. 

Whale poo brings lower nutrients up from feeding grounds, and whalefall brings higher nutrients down - feeding plankton, which remove CO2 from the atmosphere - very effective carbon sequestration

A century of whaling equates to bruning more than 70 million acres of forest

Increasing phytoplankton activity by 1% would be the same as 2 billion mature trees randomly spawning

“I had been troubled by the notion of whales as landfill; of cetacean bodies as, in some instances, a type of animate superfund site. But this research recasts whales as a means of re-naturalizing the air- not as the end point of atmospheric pollution, but as the mechanism of its remediation. Whales as gardeners in the greenhouse. I wanted to breathe in and believe it.”

Humpback whales are right or left handed

Krill have luminescent eyestalks and can be found in such large numbers they’re visible from the atmosphere

When krill starve, their bodies shrink but their eyes remain the same size

Female humpbacks mature between 5 and 7 years old, and then can bear a calf every 3 years. Gestation is 11 months.

When humpbacks are born, their fins and flukes are flexible, but they can swim, breathe, and surface. Their lips are firm, so it’s believed they “suckle” by wrapping their tongue in a cone around the nipple.

Whale milk is pink because of the krill diet. Babies drink around 100 gallons of it a day, and it’s ropy in texture and 50% fat. 

Humpbacks wean between 6-10 months and are independent at a year

Jellyfish were some of the first things to have “eyes”, and are only capable of seeing “light” and “dark”

Shrimp and prawns make a trilling eeeeeee sound

Migratory whales can be identified by their water spouts, which are determined by the shapes of their blowholes

Southern Right Whales - V shaped blows

Gray Whales - heart shaped blows

Humpback Whales - Spikes up to 10 ft high

 “We ache to meet the limit of the human world and look past it.” … the remoteness is a draw for environmental anxiety and a “distinct modern yearning” - the urge to feel minified

Pandas have done one good thing - WWF convinced China to stop whaling by offering a million dollar panda reserve- and it worked

Cetaceans were initially recorded during military “snooping”

Freud was originally a naturalist with “a passion for aquatic environments”

Lobtailing - when a whale splashes its fluke on the surface of the water

It is thought that when whales breach it is to remove annoying barnacles/lice/etc. Or to send a different, ultrasonic signal to other whales nearby. 

Breaching is not generally regarded as “playing” because of the amount of energy it takes to lift a whale out of the water (a lot)

Western Australia’s whales have rebounded up to (estimated) 90% of pre-whaling. East Australia is up to 65%. Several individual populations across the world are “critically endangered” or “at risk”. Australia’s are “of least concern”. 

We could be entirely wrong about pre-whaling levels

Beluga are getting toxoplasmosis from wastewater affected by cat feces

The humpback whale’s “peduncle” - the base of its tail, is the largest muscle on the planet

Heiliger Schauer - the holy shiver of prey sensing a predator’s gaze

“What goes unspoken in the supposed recognition of humans, by animals, are the bestial compulsions of humans” … “there comes a moment when looking at an animal triggers, in people, a recognition of all the familiar ways humans persist in being fauna. Our shared zoology gets released from the padlocked storehouse of the unconscious - and, in that instance, it’s scary.”

“Being, in essence, all flesh and raw instinct, stands to undermine human rationality, exceptionalism and the social and political lives of our communities. We are not drawn out into the world as we might have expected; we dive back into ourselves, trembling.”

Meaning: humans are only animals, and we struggle with that fact, emotionally. 

Blue whales can form rainbows when they exhale as a result of how high the exhale reaches

When blue whales spy-hop, the difference in pressure between their nose and fluke can be 3 atmospheres

Blue whale hearts beat 8x a minute (ours beats 80x a minute), and can be heard 2 miles away underwater (in good conditions)

Antarctic blue whale numbers decreased 99.85% between 1905 and 1973. From 200,000 individuals to 300. In 1 year more individuals were killed than currently exist (only 2,000)

Whales needed to become large to migrate large distances (storing large amounts of fat, having lots of propulsion muscles)

Blue whales have low malignant tumor rates despite having a shit-ton of cells - possible suppressor genes

Whales in Inuit histories are fingers of the goddess Adlivun, who ruled the Inuit underworld. Her father cut off her fingers as she clung to a boat, and her fingers became whales, and her thumb a walrus.

Animal taxidermy, naming, museums can be considered residues of power - of colonizing and Eurocentricity (not sure how I feel about this yet)

Bowhead whales have been recorded living up to 211 years, Blue whales up to 110

Taxidermy as love or as colonization? Or both or neither? What does it mean to individuals? Ownership or connection?

“Historic time overlaps with geologic time the way a whale louse overlaps with the blue whale it infests.”

“Love equals making space around the loved one.”

As infants, we (humans) gravitate towards living things more than objects

Look into: Leslie Silko

“What we know about animals is an index of our power, and thus an index of what separates us from them. The more we know, the further away they are.”

Having a diversity of populations of animals might be equally or more important than just having lots of one population. Does it matter that West Australian humpbacks are surviving if theirs is the only population and culture that does? Would it matter if every culture but Western culture was wiped out, even if humans survived? 

“Hence a zoo, by its derivation, is not a collection of animals, but a number of ways to be alive.”

The psychological health of an animal is difficult to quantify until its psychological health “breaks” in a way that we can recognize

“If we go to nature to settle our minds, it should come as no surprise that taking an animal out of nature unsettles theirs.”

“Trained behaviors are often described as expressions of happiness” but the whale is supposed to respond to a whistle or command and modern society/capitalistic/materialistic things and humans can be described in the same way

“Over generations, captive whale culture may develop such cloistered protocols, whispered dialects, and refined diets that it is no longer meaningful to talk of those whales as interchangeable with wild ones. They belong now, to the ecotype ‘amusement’.”

We have 6 million cones and 120 million rods. Whales have only one or two of each. 

Whale focal points are barely a few feet in the distance - they only have 20/240 vision - what we can see at 240ft, they can only see at 20ft. 

Whales rarely blink except to clear their eyes of debris - moisturization occurs as a result of a gland under the whales eyelid

Sperm whales can partially retract their eyeballs into their skulls - like an anemone and its arms

Whales only dream with half of their brains at once - like sharks sleeping with half of their brain at once. REM sleep is rare in whales - pilot whales get 6 minutes every 24 hours. 

Northern Right Whales and Bowheads are nearly blind close to the surface - they have no photoreceptors, so their vision is opposite ours (like vision of nocturnal animals)

Whales have 2 pupils when constricted

Whale songs can be heard by whales thousands of miles away, depending on the song and “quality” of water

SOFAR- sound fixing and ranging - a layer of ocean water (“as vinegar underlines olive oil”) where temperature, pressure, and salinity refract sound waves beyond their normal underwater range. This is the best layer for whales to communicate in

Sperm whale clicks last only seconds, but are the loudest single source noise on earth

Songs against wood whaling ships created siren-like noises, leading to mermaid and siren mythos

Calling something a song means there is emotion inside the singer; a song isn’t a biological necessity. Being capable of song means you are capable of having a voice. 

The meaning of a word being placed on its location, sound, or volume, is often referred to as a poem… The communication of whales may rely on the poetry of their sound. 

 “Every animal is in the world like water in water.”

Beluga whale being trained as a spy learned to mimic human sounds - his name was Noc

Whales pick up bits of songs from other whales and sing those to new whales. Humpbacks participate in the largest non-human communication network on earth.

Solar storms causes aurora borealis, and can fuck with magnetic “mountains” underwater. This fucks with the whales’ echolocation, wayfinding, and song. Whale stranding often happens after solar storms.

In our culture, we avoid eating animals whose qualities are too impressive (cunning, intelligence, virility, etc.), but in some cultures it is the opposite; it may make them more consumable

Whale meat is, technically, less environmentally damaging than beef

You can tell the exact age of a whale from its ear wax buildup, like growth rings on a tree. This is also true for determining its exposure to pollutants and periods of physical stress. Unfortunately, like growth rings on a tree, this requires killing the whale. 

Whale meat was only removed from Amazon in 2014

Anthropomorphization may have evolved in humans to make them better hunters- or, perhaps, as a social species we always had it and it just made us better hunters

“Grasshopper effect” allows pollutant chemicals to enter the ice caps via evaporation and condensation in the water cycle

Horse latitudes - regions in the ocean where little rain occurs, and settlers were said to have thrown their horses overboard to conserve fresh water

86% of ocean megaplastics in the Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch were nets

Fishing nets entrap and scar up N. Atlantic right whales, so their black skin has petroglyphs of white scarring

Baiji - first known cetacean to be killed off from human activity

Neozoons - new animals created through hybridizations of animals (narlugas, pizzlies, wolfin)

Post WWII “orgy of the ornament” - really a testament to how much unnecessary has been created, to a planetary detriment

Plastic used to mean modern and long lasting… now it’s sort of the opposite - disposable, toxic, garbage

“What’s the use of having developed a science well enough to make predictions if, in the end, all we’re willing to do is stand around and wait for them to come true?”

“The Birds” by Alfred Hitchcock was inspired by seagulls with pseudo-nitzschia intoxication in California

 “A whale is a wonder not because it is the world’s biggest animal, but because it augments our moral capacity. A whale shows it is possible to care for that which lies out of our immediate sphere of action, but within our sphere of influence - we care deeply, you and I, about the whale because it is distant. Because it speaks to us of places we will not go. Because it magnifies the reach of our humanity, and reminds us of our collective ability to control ourselves, and of our part in a planetary ecology. Because a whale is a reserve of awe and humility”...”being hopeful follows from being useful; this has been my experience, and to be useful, it matters that you identify a part of the problem that you might see change in, using the talents and resources you possess. Hope is fellowship. Hope is in the doing. We may be the only species capable of imagining a future robbed of the wonder of encountering other species. This knowledge, in the end, gives us cause to start.”

Most powerful bite of all time belongs to the basilosaurus 

Nature as a process. Not a group of entities… or both? The process of being an entity and what comes with it

Final Thoughts: to be alive is everything and nothing. It is to hope and despair. It is to sit in the passage of time, which is its own beast. We will live and die and most of it will mean nothing beyond the context of what we existed in -> and what we want that to look like and what is out of our control. And whales are a symbol for all of this. They are hope and despair, and they are passengers in the passage of time but also the vessel through which time passes. They are both active and passive participants in this passage.

[planefood]

wAIT HOLY SHIT SINCE YOU LIVE IN NEW ZEALAND I NEED TO ASK YOU THIS.

HAVE YOU SEEN A WILD KIWI BIRD.

THIS IS SERIOUS.

- 🔌

Okay so most people here will probably tell you the same thing but unless you live in a really rural part of the country your chances of seeing one in the wild are slim to none, theyre nocturnal and pretty rare as is I've never seen one in the wild and i've never seen one fully either, you can see them in zoos here but they're in the dark and very hard to see the footage there is a video of a kiwi exhibit I went to a few months back see how it looks like it was recorded in chernobyl? That's about as much kiwi as you're gonna see

I wouldn't plan a trip to Aotearoa with the intentions of seeing a kiwi first hand cause even though you can in a zoo setting you're not gonna see them running around the place like hedgehogs

As for wildlife we actually see day to day thats native here at least in the areas I live in, Tūī, piwakawaka, ruru (native owl) Kererū (native pigeon), wētā (some of the largest insects in the world) and korimako one of my personal favourites for how they sing :) As for non natives you'll also see A LOT of Pūkeko they're technically from Australia but uhhh mine now. You'll recognise them from this meme which has a baby one in it, they're the guys that are running around everywhere

I've also seen orcas, whales and various seals around. I heard in some places Elephant seals come up from the beach and into nearby towns. I see royal spoonbills Kōtuku ngutupapa here too, those guys are just... there. Like this one in a storm drain I saw a couple years back and snapped a picture of

[spyvstailor]

Burn, Baby, Burn - Chapter Two

I guess this is a thing now? @acapelladitty what do you think? Should this be a thing? Is it cursed just right for public viewing or should I kill it in the cradle?

It's the Firefly and Baby Doll buddy comedy that no one asked for, but y'all get to suffer through it with me. Enjoy!

Chapter Two

“Hello and welcome to It's A Pool, Pool Summer Water Park and Amusements, can I rent you a flutter board for the slide or perhaps some swimming gear? Do you have any small fries with you that will need arm floaties or a life vest?”

Why did it seem like only the freaks came to water parks?

Garfield was working his mandatory parole job a couple of days later, still feeling hung over from his bender and having to explain to his parole officer why he missed his shift.

It had taken him a couple months before he realized that them sticking him in a tiny hut, at the side of the Small Fry pool, next door to the Small Fry Shack and Soda Shop, was like punishment straight out of hell.

So much water, and noise, and children screaming and splashing.

Not to mention the mandatory uniform of swim shorts that came straight out of the 70's and a whistle. Why a whistle? He wasn't sure, it wasn't like he was a certified life guard. Maybe it looked more official in the world of swimmers and pools.

He got to blow it once, when a father was choking on an Orca Dog and he needed an actual guard to come, since he wasn't allowed to leave his sweltering shack.

Water, water everywhere and nothing to set ablaze.

“Jesus, is this where they got you working?” The customer in line behind the mother who had just left said, dropping her sunglasses to look him in the eye.

He felt the hangover wash over him instantly and swallowed thickly. “Mary Louise, you shouldn't be here. You're a triggering person.”

She laughed and hopped onto the counter, it was a bit of a struggle as she barely cleared it standing up. “Did they really put you here surrounded by water?” She laughed almost cruelly. “That's funny.”

He leaned over the counter. “It's a long way back down.”

“You need a tan and some manscaping,” she ignored him, motioning to his pale, hairy chest. “Because this...is not working for you.”

“I thought I did manscape,” he replied glancing down.

“With a leaf blower?”

“Are you looking to rent anything?”

“No, I just came to laugh at you in your dumb booth.”

“Then go.”

She crossed her arms. “I'm not going anywhere. You promised me.”

“I promised you what?” He inquired, blood already running cold.

“The orb? You said you'd get it for me. Or help me get it, but let's face it here, only one of us is a thief.”

“I'm a pyro, not a thief.”

“You've thieved before, thoven even.”

Garfield exhaled. “I can't break parole...and I don't remember anything about an orb.”

“Fink!” She declared, reaching in her beach bag and pulling out her phone. “I knew you'd say that.”

He was already fucked and he knew it.

There on the screen as she turned it to him, was a very drunk him, looking deep into the camera with unfocused, half lidded eyes.

“I don't even care, I'll burn that fucking place down and the orb will just be in the rubble, just in the rubble and embers. Can't destroy an orb of challengings. No, listen...I promise...we'll get that thing.”

Mary Louise tucked her phone away proudly as he crossed his arms.

“That's fine, won't hold up in criminal court.” He stated.

She nodded. “Ok, you want to walk that back...fine...”

Garfield watched with horror as she slipped down on his side of the counter, immediately knowing where this was going by the evil glint in her eye.

“Where's the candy, mister?!” She asked loud enough for anyone who walked up to hear. Thankfully no one was coming yet as her hand reached for his trunks. “Should I keep looking before mommy comes?”

“Oh, you little bitch,” he growled, slapping her hand away. “Fine, stop that!”

She stepped back, giggling.

“Oh, you bitch...” he murmured. “I...I can't help you directly and break parole, but I can connect you with someone who will.”

“Why do you care so much about parole?” She demanded. “Just be bad, you were cooler when you were Firefly.”

“I burned buildings in bike leathers with thermal wings on my back, Mary Louise.”

“Yeah, and a flamethrower in your hands, it was fucking cool. Look at you now, you look like my father at the Cape.” She said looking him up and down. “Come on, don't you wanna be sexy Firefly again? In those leathers? Not with one ball hanging out the bottom of his swimtrunks in a dumb shack by the kiddie pool?”

He looked down and quickly tucked his ball back into the short, swim shorts. “Fuck.”

“It's okay,” she said.

“It happens a lot,” he admitted sheepishly. “They don't have good netting. But I'm back here so no one really notices..."

“I wasn't talking about the shorts. I meant, it's okay to be bad, if being bad is in your nature. But...maybe stick to the meds though, be bad, but not crazy. That's the most dangerous baddie of them all, the sensible one.”

“If criminals were mentally healthy, I don't think they'd choose a life of crime, Mary Louise.”

She shrugged. “Maybe...or maybe it's just who we are.”

“Look,” he began. “I have to get back to work, meet me at the Iceberg tonight, around 8?”

She nodded. “Ok. You better be there!”

“I will be.”

Mary Louise opened the door to get out, but stopped and turned to him, saying sincerely. “Not bad though. Needs work, but not bad for an old man pushing 60.”

“Come on,” he pleaded glancing down. He thought he looked good for pushing 40. “That's unnecessary.”

She giggled and left.

He showed up late in another old man sweater, huddled in on himself from the cold, and Mary Louise was already there, chatting amiably with a man who was stroking her cheek.

“Such lovely skin,” he was purring as Garfield moved to stand behind him, waiting his turn to speak with Baby Doll.

“Thanks!”

It wasn't until the man went on in his soft, purr of a voice, that Garfield felt that heat of anger flare up deep inside him.

“How would you like to come model for me? I really like your skin,” Dollmaker cooed. “It shines so brightly, like gold under these lights.”

Grasping Dollmaker by the scruff of his suit jacket, Garfield yanked him off his stool and shoved the man onto his ass on the floor.

“She's not going anywhere with you, Barton,” Garfield said, moving to take the man's stool calmly, not at all worried about minding his back. He may be pushing 40 but he was fairly certain he could knock Barton Mathis out cold with just a single punch.

“Aw, jealous?” Mary Louise asked with a grin as Barton slunk away.

“He's a notorious deflesher, Mary Louise.” He replied ordering a soda from the bartender.

“Yeah, I know, but there's no harm in getting a few compliments.” She replied. “So? What's the plan?”

“The plan is I enjoy my soda, then we hit the sewers.”

Mary Louise was quiet for a moment, before saying, “sorry?”

“I only know two criminals who can help you get that orb thing you want. Ratcatcher and Magpie, Magpie is locked up currently, so...we hit the sewers.”

“Gross, ew, no!”

Garfield turned a calm, steady eye on her, not backing down.

Mary Louise didn't once falter. “Do you know how nice these shoes of mine are? Do you know that the sewers...are just...filled with nasty germs and stuff?”

He continued to stare at her evenly.

“And...no! I'm not going there. You bring him to me!”

He wasn't sure if it was the flame that was ignited from Dollmaker, or if he was nearing the end of his rope with patience for Baby Doll, but Garfield reached over, took a calm sip of his soda and then rolled his neck, working out the kinks in it. Maybe Baby Doll was right, it was easier for him to be the bad guy than it was for him to play nice, because as he slipped momentarily back into Firefly he felt a great weight leave his shoulders.

“Get me a matchbook,” he ordered the bartender calmly, even his voice falling into the lower register of Firefly.

When he looked back over at Mary Louise, Firefly instantly fell back into the dark hole Garfield kept him in when he spied the slight fear in her eyes, he knew she could see the change that had swept over him too.

“C-can we stop at my apartment so I can change?” She asked meekly.

“Of course,” he replied, somewhat ashamed that he had allowed the slip. Firefly should never come out again, he knew that, on the meds he knew that Firefly was meant to be kept in that hole he had gouged out for him, deep, deep down inside himself.

When the matchbook came, Mary Louise reached out with a slightly shaky hand and took it before he could, tucking it away in her sock.

They walked the streets of Gotham City side by side.

The night air was probably refreshing to most, but to him it was frigid and unbearably cold, he huddled in on himself, knowing full well he looked like a junkie after a hit, but not caring at all because he was too fucking cold to care.

“That was dark back there,” Mary Louise finally spoke, her old self back as she spoke clearly and a little obnoxiously.

“Yeah, sorry.” He said, considering it for a moment, before adding. “On top of pyromania I have an anger problem, who knew?”

They walked for a ways in silence once more, before she said, “they said I have body dysmorphic disorder.”

“Did they give you anything for it?”

Mary Louise was quiet, before shrugging. “Supposed to be on meds and therapy, but I can't afford it. Shit's expensive when you're trying to be law abiding, you know? Besides,” she added a little lighter in tone. “If we can get this orb, it will change me and I won't need the meds, because I'll be different looking. Mature. I'll look my age.”

Garfield studied her quickly, eyes on her face, reading it for sincerity. He didn't think she would ever be happy, but...it wasn't his place to say anything. If Baby Doll wanted to get some tits and an ass, maybe grow a few more inches in height in order to feel like the 30-year-old she was, who was he to question it?

“Now,” he began gravely as he lugged the manhole cover off with a crowbar they had bought at a hardware store nearby, “I shouldn't have to warn you about this, but...there will be rats down there.”

Mary Louise nodded. “I know. Figured with a dude named Ratcatcher we're gonna see some weird shit, but rats don't bother me as much as spiders do.”

Garfield studied the dark hole, he was fairly sure there would probably be a metric fuckton of spiders down there too, but instead he nodded and clapped her shoulder, “then you're in luck, it's too wet down there for spiders.”

Dressed in a yellow rainslicker and boots, and looking like she was ready to 'float' down there with the best of them, Mary Louise nodded and said, “you first, techie.”

Garfield turned on the small flashlight he had bought and began his descent into the putrid sewers beneath Gotham.