aintsimpnomore

[aintsimpnomore]

1st Book: Chapter 1: Flashbacks (autobiography)

My name is John Nataneal Refugio Tismo, eighteen years old, the eldest son with four younger siblings, living with my father and mother here in Imus City, Cavite. Being the eldest son is hard but honorable duty given by the weight you carry on your shoulders. As the eldest son and sibling, you are expected to be the role model for younger siblings. You are expected to carry and become the bread winner of the family. You are expected to be the second father and mother and in-charge of your siblings. You are expected to sacrifice for the family, the way your father and mother do. There's too many expectations. I'm not a perfect son nor an older brother. I make mistakes and repeat it again. I often disobey and talk back to my parents but I'm mad and hate it when my other siblings does it too, to them and to me. Reflecting on this, it turns out in my mind that it is all my fault. I failed as a son for talking back and disobeying my parents, and as an older brother, seen me did it, they adapt and did it too. Thinking about this, I started hating myself. Wasting years of my life since consciousness. There are questions running in my head like, "Why does it have to be for me to become the eldest?", " Can I reincarnate to become the youngest within a rich family?" and also " Why does good things are given to the unworthy instead to those who deserve it like me?". I always think that if it was me, I wont waste it. If it was given to me, I'll cherish and take care of it. Because I know how precious it was, like money and opportunity. I had a childhood memory of feeling hunger back in the days. I remember picking up cans and bottles with my father early in the morning. I remember eating rice porridge with soy sauce and knew how it tastes. And also the reason I discover that putting sugar instead of salt in rice porridge tastes way better. As the eldest, I experienced these, it all happened in Binan before we are helped by my uncle, and offered to live in and take care of his house, for he is abroad. I'm grateful to him and want to give his kindness back to him someday. After migrating here in Cavite, we started experiencing a much better life. It is also the reason I forgot where I came from. I got blinded and brainwashed. I forgot my dreams, my role and duty. And I almost forget my parents hardwork in raising me as their first born and the expectations and duty to help them carry the family. In truth , everynight before I sleep, the things I did through out the day and the other days are gushing through my head, making me reflect. I should not have done this. I should have done that. As I said, Im not a perfect person, nor a son, nor an older brother. I still make mistakes. There are still times that I talk back and disobey my parents. The wrong words I spat out to my younger siblings. Emotions are taking over me and making me do wrong decisions. I regret it. As of now, Im trying my best to fix myself, trying to respect and obey my parents more, and opening up and accepting flaws my younger siblings are pointing out.

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 2 Chapter 5 : Memories (self obituary)

It has been a long but unfinished ride. Eighteen years of life full of love and care by such precious parents. Things I started to understand, situations that are dealt wrong, decisions that are wrongfully made, bad memories that cant be remade.The what ifs in my mind. The I could have, should have and would have sentences, feelings that now had no chance to be expressed. Since consciousness to my present self, questioning "What am I doing with my life?", "What is wrong with me?". True friends I let go, chances that I ignored, experiences that I thoroughly neglect and unwelcomed.Reflecting on this, how I wish I can redo them all. If I'm given a chance to step to a portal that takes you back in time. Chance to make it all right, I promise not to waste it. But, if that really happened, what and how am I in the present? . Am I still the same or an all different person?. In fact, I already coped and content of my life now. Accepting everything that happened helped me a lot. The most important lesson I learned is that make the most out of day. Make it a good one so when the time comes and it turns to be a memory, it will be a memory with no regrets.

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 2 Chapter 4: Warmth of light. (Literary journalism)

There is this person Im really proud of. Her name is Grea Refugio, 51 years old, Born on April 25th, year 1971. She is the best mother anyone could ask for. Hardworking, caring, and best at spotting opportunities.She was a problem solver and very reliable person. Whenever me and my siblings are having and experiencing problems, may it be financially or things, she always had a solution hidden up in her sleeves. It always amazes me how she managed to solve my problems that in my head, got no answers. I love my mother. Even though, I admit that sometimes Im being rude and disrespectful towards her, because of some strict rules she impose on me. I refret it. Im trying my hardest best to understand her, thinking it was for my own good. Sometimes she is grumpy, sometimes she is bright. But that does not change the fact that, she is the best and I am blessed, honored and grateful of having such a wonderful mother.

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 2 Chapter 3: Quality is better than quantity (testimonio)

Imagine having a lot of friends but only one of them is real. Imagine having a lot of money but lacks love from family and friends. Imagine having all the riches in the world but still empty inside. Reminiscing and thinking about this, a question might come to someones head. "What is the purpose of having a lot of useless and non-sense things if it lacks in level of appropriateness, usefulness, and need or in other terms, the quality of having something that is cherishable, purpose provoking, and irreplaceable?". Its like comparing a truck full of gravel to a piece of diamond stone. Reflecting on this, I would rather experience hardships on life, with my family's love support on my back, than being a very successful, stomping people and forgetting family on the way and being alone at the top. Im making a stand that quality is better than quantity. I would love to have that one friend, who is with me in good and bad days, than having a lot which are snakes and talks at your back. I prefer living with enough provisions with contentment.

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 2 Chapter 2: A warm hand. (facial recognition)

I remember way back when I was in Grade 8, I had a stomachache, even after going to the bathroom there's still hint of aches. A classmate lend me an oil. I rubbed it in my stomach, and some strange feeling enveloped me that made my hair around my whole body, straighten up and cold chills. Its like I'm having a flashback of some sort. I picture myself hugging a pillow, and a warm hand hold and loosened my arms clinging on the pillow, pulled my shirt up, pat and rubbed the oil in my belly. I heard a voice murmurs, "I told you not to sit on the floor. That's what you get from not listening to me" It didn't take that long for me to recognize the voice, it was my mother's.

It wasn't just that. Whenever I eat home-cooked meals, I always remember a hand slicing meat and vegetables. It is like I'm there, watching as my mother cooked that meal, even though Im not there and at school. Also when I had a fever, whenever I try to sleep with a compress on my head, I feel a warm hand touching my forehead.

I like my mother's hand. I always remember it in some things I do.

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 2 Chapter 1: What is understanding? (definition essay)

The feeling of someone who knows what you feel, and can comprehend why you act like, its the end of the world, because your depressed. And knows how to help you cope with it. Understanding different persons in your life, will help you how to communicate and socialize the way they need it.

Based on my experience, for me, understanding especially those who are precious to you is a gift. It really helped me a lot on how should I communicate and socialize with family and friends. For example, I know when my father is in a good or bad mood. He's in a good mood if he plays guitar while singing church songs cause he's a member El Shaddai in a church near us. And in bad mood if he just stares at his phone outside the house. I usually talk to him about my days in school whenever he's in good mood and don't bother him whenever we/they had problems. Men like dealing with it alone. I knew it and understands it.

But there are ways for someone to show love and care to someone, whom they know are battling problems. I gave him personal space because I understand that he had no time to listen to my problems and he has his own. I just wait till he plays his guitar and find chance to talk to him again

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 1 Chapter 5: Regrets (reflective essay)

Year 2018, 8th grade, enrolled at General Thomas Mascardo National Highschool. Our section is arguably, the best and the worst, of our batch based on our subject advisers. I am your typical student that just wants to graduate, nothing more. Back then, all I think about is playing computer games, basketball and hanging out with friends. There's this one girl I like. She's cute, an academic achiever, smart, famous and had a lot of friends. I'm lucky myself that I'm one of her friends. Secretly admiring her, I don't have any plans to confess to her, afraid of that might be the cause of the end of our friendship. We have the same vibes, she likes what I like and keep me motivated to go to school everyday. One day, she wasn't at school. I thought that maybe she has something to do that day and that might be the reason , she's absent. Days become weeks and the weeks turned to a month and she's still nowhere to be seen at school. Her friends are worried and I really miss her. Until one day, her bestfriend revealed something to the class. She told us that, the Girl went back to her province to attend a family member funeral. Also, there's a chance that she might transfer and continue her schooling there because it was too far away from the previous school. The day of moving up came and she's still nowhere to be seen. That meant she transfer out, losing my chance to tell and confess her how I feel. Sadness and regrets enveloped me. Now, she's just a part of my memory, a memory blurred by the years but still cannot be forgotten. The lesson I learned from this experience is don't waste chances. Once it came and you didn't acknowledge it, just know that it will be someday became a memory full of regrets.

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 1 Chapter 3: Stuck in memories (personal narrative)

I remember back then when I was a kid, I thought when I swallow a seed, it may grew inside of my stomach. I had a funny childhood memory that whenever eat watermelons, I always make sure that there is no seeds left before I munch it. One time, I cried and are scared so much because I accidentally swallowed a seed of watermelon. Later, that night, I cant sleep because I fear that it might grow inside my stomach. And also, I remember way back sometime in elementary, I think I was in grade two or three, that I stayed the whole afternoon in the school's clinic, nervous. Back then, elementary school hours are whole day in Binan. It was noon, I remember eating lunch with my classmates. We bought bubble gums for dessert. As kids, ofcourse, we are playful, Im munching my gum while playing tag. When a classmate tagged me, as soon as he pushed my back while were running, I accidentally swallowed the gum. I was scared and quickly run to the school clinic. Now, I'm eighteen years old, a teenager, I always smile whenever I remember silly things I did and experienced as a kid. Days that are not coming back and forever stored in my memory. As the older version of myself, I now understand things that I did'nt knew when I was a kid. One thing I learned is days are not moving backwards. Its better to make every single day, a good day by doing good things memorable so it will become a memory with no regrets.

[aintsimpnomore]

Book 1 Chapter 2: An Inspiration (biography)

There is a business woman here in our subdivision who's success story is known and amazed people who knew who she was before. She is known and called as Mrs. Puring. I got a chance to talk and interview her because she was my mother's friend. She is once a normal housewife with three sons. When her husband died, the weight of responsibility of taking care of their children are all left on her shoulders. But, she did'nt give up. She accepted the challenge and in honor of her husband. The first thing that came to her mind is find work. She said that looking for work here in Cavite back then is hard because theres still not much establishments and subdivisions are still developing. She found a job on a junkshop. She accepted the job, in fear of losing and taken over by others, and also thinking that its better to have it than none. She also accepted side-line jobs like selling balut in the evening. Thankfully, she only have to think of paying bills like water and electricity and having food for the table for her children and not having a house to live in. From the money she kept from her earnings, she managed to open a small store. It earns her well enough to quit her job and sideline and going full time by upgrading it to a much bigger store. Eventually, after saving some more money, rented a commercial place and ultimately opening up a grocery store. She now has 3 branches of her store across the subdivision and managed to send her children to school. The lesson I learned here is keep believing and focus on your goal, no matter what you are right now. Small things, with dedications and patience will become big things someday.

[aintsimpnomore]

1st Book: Chapter 1: Flashbacks (autobiography)

My name is John Nataneal Refugio Tismo, eighteen years old, the eldest son with four younger siblings, living with my father and mother here in Imus City, Cavite. Being the eldest son is hard but honorable duty given by the weight you carry on your shoulders. As the eldest son and sibling, you are expected to be the role model for younger siblings. You are expected to carry and become the bread winner of the family. You are expected to be the second father and mother and in-charge of your siblings. You are expected to sacrifice for the family, the way your father and mother do. There's too many expectations. I'm not a perfect son nor an older brother. I make mistakes and repeat it again. I often disobey and talk back to my parents but I'm mad and hate it when my other siblings does it too, to them and to me. Reflecting on this, it turns out in my mind that it is all my fault. I failed as a son for talking back and disobeying my parents, and as an older brother, seen me did it, they adapt and did it too. Thinking about this, I started hating myself. Wasting years of my life since consciousness. There are questions running in my head like, "Why does it have to be for me to become the eldest?", " Can I reincarnate to become the youngest within a rich family?" and also " Why does good things are given to the unworthy instead to those who deserve it like me?". I always think that if it was me, I wont waste it. If it was given to me, I'll cherish and take care of it. Because I know how precious it was, like money and opportunity. I had a childhood memory of feeling hunger back in the days. I remember picking up cans and bottles with my father early in the morning. I remember eating rice porridge with soy sauce and knew how it tastes. And also the reason I discover that putting sugar instead of salt in rice porridge tastes way better. As the eldest, I experienced these, it all happened in Binan before we are helped by my uncle, and offered to live in and take care of his house, for he is abroad. I'm grateful to him and want to give his kindness back to him someday. After migrating here in Cavite, we started experiencing a much better life. It is also the reason I forgot where I came from. I got blinded and brainwashed. I forgot my dreams, my role and duty. And I almost forget my parents hardwork in raising me as their first born and the expectations and duty to help them carry the family. In truth , everynight before I sleep, the things I did through out the day and the other days are gushing through my head, making me reflect. I should not have done this. I should have done that. As I said, Im not a perfect person, nor a son, nor an older brother. I still make mistakes. There are still times that I talk back and disobey my parents. The wrong words I spat out to my younger siblings. Emotions are taking over me and making me do wrong decisions. I regret it. As of now, Im trying my best to fix myself, trying to respect and obey my parents more, and opening up and accepting flaws my younger siblings are pointing out.