airacoon

[airacoon]

Galinda, what are you doing? Stop. No.

[airacoon]

A person who values themself has standards and remains exclusive

They don’t need attention from the masses because they know their worth

They understand that being accessible to everyone lowers their value

They are selective with who they date because they know it’s a reflection of them

They aren’t seeking superficial validation online because they don’t need it and most likely get it in real life

They make career choices that align with their passions and beliefs and don’t comprise their morals for a dollar

They understand that quality friendships are more important than a large circle of acquaintances

They love themselves and take care of their body, they don’t partake in hobbies that are unhealthy

They invest in their personal growth and education because they understand that expanding their knowledge and skills increases their value

They are mindful of how they spend their time and choose environments that nurture their growth rather than drain their energy

They don’t settle for mediocre and always strive for excellence in whatever they do

They avoid toxic relationships and environments

They are intentional with their energy and choose to share it with people that align with their values

They practice self discipline

They like being alone and understand that being alone is a time for reflection and recharging

They have very strong boundaries and demand respect in all interactions because they respect themselves first

[airacoon]

2024

can't believe that my last post here is almost a year ago and wahhhhhh..... watt was I thinking XD

I'm still alive.

[airacoon]

Slowly but surely.

[airacoon]

Im Very Pleased to share this website my partner directed me to. You’re interested in retro techand/or robotics, The Old Robots is a unique and surprisingly thorough archive of all sorts of real robots from as early as the 1940’s to as late as the 2000’s. I especially love the dated nature of its aesthetics. But, seriously- there’s pages and pages worth of these robots. Many robots also include videos embedded in the site to show them in action.

An excellent resource for those interested in robotics, the history of robots, robotic toys, or just goofs like me that love to see little funny hard metal and plastic fellas.

[airacoon]

What if... I just kill myself. I am back at it again. This dark place I've been trying SO HARD to escape from. I was okay doing until June. Until the three-week thing. I was okay. After the three-week thing, things just went down. I know I hate Laura but much more I hate myself. I almost quit my job and ruin my career. I don't know how to get my grip back for good. I don't know who to ask help from. You can't blame me if I just want to die. I can no longer be strong. I AM TIRED. I JUST WANT TO DIE. I'm fucking worthless. What am I here for anyway. What value am I bringing to the world. The world is better off without me. I don't want to fight anymore. I AM TIRED.

[airacoon]

Life, lately.

I just realized that I haven't written anything "journal-esque" lately, aside from, well, the stupid Laura thing.

I believe they're official. (Kawawa naman si Jason, habang buhay niyang papasanin amputaning ina) but anyway, I'll try to write this abt myself... and my life lately. And I also hope that this will be the last time that I'll mention the name of that stupid Laura girl.

Okay.

I had the opportunity to be colleagues again with Kat. In the job interview, the ice-breaking question is "If you could have a superpower, what would it be?" My answer : Reading people's minds. Yes. I want to read people's minds so that I can skip the observing people and just go straight to knowing what's on their minds. This way, I'll know if I am being betrayed, played with, judged.

2. I've been hiking. And I've had 3 mountains (so far). 🙂

[airacoon]

Slowly. But surely.

[airacoon]

Weekend it is.

[airacoon]

You can crack this. As long as you have the right partner. Look, the guys are distracted. And old. Sometimes, they get food stuck on their chin and they don't know it and I have to flick it off, and that's kind of a bummer. But I don't know, they're my guys.

Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez as Charles-Haden Savage, Oliver Putnam and Mabel Mora in season 3 of Only Murders in the Building (2021-present) created by Steve Martin and John Hoffman

[airacoon]

It's gonna be okay.

[airacoon]

All of the signs are telling me not to. And I know what the correct answer is. But I still don't know what to do.

October 17

I just got a job offer.

I am so stuck of whether to take it.

I mean yes, it has a monetary increase but I'll be lying if it's not the Florante and Laura situation that is causing me to resign.

I know that the smartest decision is to not leave my career for that stupid reason, but knowing myself and given the circumstances, I will not heal with them around.

I hate her. With all my heart, I hate her. I don't want her around me. Siyang pinagagong taong kilala ko aside sa tatay ko siguro. Ang gago niya. Di naman niya deserved ng respect ko, honestly. So kunin niya yun sa lalake putang ina niya.

+ I have already ruin my reputation before it existed because of the emotional outburst safe space whatever incident.

I know this is something I'd just laugh abt. Pero puta. TANG INAAAAAAAAA

But I don't want to leave. This is my career at stake. I haven't even started yet. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for my stupid decisions and the stupid people I trusted like Laura.

I want to burst out because this is too heavy and I don't have anyone to confide to. This is so fucked up.

[airacoon]

All of the signs are telling me not to. And I know what the correct answer is.

October 17

I just got a job offer.

I am so stuck of whether to take it.

I mean yes, it has a monetary increase but I'll be lying if it's not the Florante and Laura situation that is causing me to resign.

I know that the smartest decision is to not leave my career for that stupid reason, but knowing myself and given the circumstances, I will not heal with them around.

I hate her. With all my heart, I hate her. I don't want her around me. Siyang pinagagong taong kilala ko aside sa tatay ko siguro. Ang gago niya. Di naman niya deserved ng respect ko, honestly. So kunin niya yun sa lalake putang ina niya.

+ I have already ruin my reputation before it existed because of the emotional outburst safe space whatever incident.

I know this is something I'd just laugh abt. Pero puta. TANG INAAAAAAAAA

But I don't want to leave. This is my career at stake. I haven't even started yet. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for my stupid decisions and the stupid people I trusted like Laura.

I want to burst out because this is too heavy and I don't have anyone to confide to. This is so fucked up.

[airacoon]

October 17

I just got a job offer.

I am so stuck of whether to take it.

I mean yes, it has a monetary increase but I'll be lying if it's not the Florante and Laura situation that is causing me to resign.

I know that the smartest decision is to not leave my career for that stupid reason, but knowing myself and given the circumstances, I will not heal with them around.

I hate her. With all my heart, I hate her. I don't want her around me. Siyang pinagagong taong kilala ko aside sa tatay ko siguro. Ang gago niya. Di naman niya deserved ng respect ko, honestly. So kunin niya yun sa lalake putang ina niya.

+ I have already ruin my reputation before it existed because of the emotional outburst safe space whatever incident.

I know this is something I'd just laugh abt. Pero puta. TANG INAAAAAAAAA

But I don't want to leave. This is my career at stake. I haven't even started yet. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for my stupid decisions and the stupid people I trusted like Laura.

I want to burst out because this is too heavy and I don't have anyone to confide to. This is so fucked up.

[airacoon]

[airacoon]

Sabi mo ang goal, makahanap ng lilipatan by September. Ano na beh, OCTOBER NA. MAGRI-RESIGN KA BA TALAGA O ANO. HAYOP TALAGA. NAKAILANG INTERVIEW NA'KO I'M SO SURE HINDI PA BUO PORTFOLIO MO.

Ofcourse, nakalimutan mo na yan. What do I expect from someone as forgetful and stupid as you.

Tang ina mo ka talaga 🙄

[airacoon]

Gratitude and shit

In Essay No. 36 of '101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think', it is said that we should thank the people who have hurt us most in life because the hurt they cause drove us to become a better version of ourselves.

Well, I refuse to do so. I refuse to thank the people who hurt me. I chose to carry on and make something fruitful out of the chaos and its aftermath and for that it's myself that I have to thank.

Thanking these people somehow gives them the credit of the work that I did to heal from the trauma they've inflicted. We don't have to thank the people that caused us pain. We don't owe them gratitude and shit.