aita-irl

[aita-irl]

AITA for feeling frustrated with my best friend?

So my (15M) family is planning a trip to a national park a few months from now (yay), and I wanted to see if my best friend of ~10 years (14NB) would come.

Except when I asked and I gave the dates, they said they couldn't go because of their grandma's birthday (she's perfectly healthy alive and well btw, they see her pretty much every other weekend already) and a family camp thing that they go to every year (it's like 3 days long at their grandma's house where they do crafts with their large extended family they also typically get to see often), and they had a doctors appointment.

Now I'm sort of frustrated with them, because I don't have anyone else my age to go with and now I'm not sure if I'll have a good time if it just ends up being me and my parents. I haven't been answering calls or texts they send me about just normal stuff, and I feel kind of hurt that they haven't even really apologized or anything- not that I expect them to, *that* would be an a-hole move, but I do wish that I had some sort of acknowledgement from them, because I feel like all the things they can't come for can either be passed up one time or rescheduled.

AITA?

[aita-irl]

WIBTA for informing a person's friends about his actions?

So for context I (16NB) am in a very small fandom, only a couple hundred people are really active across Tumblr and Twitter. So everybody kind of knows of each other even if not personally. Due to a harrassment campaign that was led against me when I was 14 (different fandom) that caused me to be cyberstalked for months on end I have really bad paranoia around those types of scenarios and so I keep my main blog private and unsearchable.

There's this guy "A" in the fandom. One day I made a post about a character being abusive. Like five minutes later he found it and began arguing with me. Again my blog was private and unsearchable and he didn't even follow me so I have no clue how he found that post. But he argued with me for ages about what counts as abuse and even when I posted sources and studies he ignored me in favor of his own anecdotal evidence. I was getting pissed off so I blocked him and that was that, or so I thought.

A couple weeks later I found out from a friend that he was shit talking my art in a public fandom server with almost 200 members. His friends called him out for that, saying he was being a dick, and he DMed me to apologize. I took him in good faith and forgave him and unblocked him.

Well what do you know a month later he was shit talking me AGAIN in the SAME SERVER. This time other people joined in. It was apl harmless stuff btw, like having fucking trans headcanons. And again because my blog is private and unsearchable literally nobody is forcing them to look at it. I have actively gone out of my way to make my post as hard to find as possible! I blocked him immediately after that.

Well, now he's stalking my accounts and sending me threatening anon messages. His girlfriend, who I used to think was my friend but I blocked her once I found out she was dating him, is aware of his actions and brushes it off as "it's just fandom beef" and "you guys are really just internet strangers so who cares". When he is literally stalking me. And I'm pretty sure he's sent me death threats before (they were anonymous so idk for sure but it was his typing style). Again very few people are aware of this behavior, his friends think he apologized, etc. I want to tell people because like, if it was me I wouldn't want to be friends with somebody like him. But on the other hand I'm worried that would just escalate things further. And maybe I'm being petty? Or too paranoid? I don't know. WIBTA for informing a guy's friends that he's a stalker who sends people anonymous harassment?

[aita-irl]

Am I the asshole for making my friend pay for their food when they spend the day at my place?

I (33F) have a friend, Jaxx (32NB) who likes spending time at my place pretty often. They still live at home and I have my own place so they prefer to be here. They don't have the best relationship with their parents and siblings. I don't mind, Jaxx is very quiet and likes to play games on my pc when I'm not using it and I enjoy their company.

My issues is that Jaxx has a tendency to just grab food from my fridge without asking, including things meant for dinner. Which has caused problems for me before. I'm not rich by any means and can barely pay the bills each month so I tend to have exactly what I need when it comes to food. I don't mind sharing a little, but at this point I'm feeding a second person for 3 to 4 days a week. Which is costly. Plus having to make an unexpected store run to replace something Jaxx finished without asking is pretty annoying as well.

So I asked them to either start bringing their own food or pitch in a little because I getting in trouble at the end of the month because of this.

Jaxx got really defensive about it and called me controlling and a horrible friend. Jaxx doesn't have a job and gets the version of social benefits we have in my country which isn't a lot. They are shaming me for asking for money from a disabled person.

Things got a bit heated and I told them they aren't welcome here anymore unless they pay for the food they eat or stop eating my food all the time. They have been complaining about me a lot and even called my mom. My mom thinks Jaxx is out of line but I'm really annoyed they are trying to get people against me.

I kind of feel bad about it because Jaxx is my friend and guest and I learned to be a good host but at this point I feel more like I have a roommate who just hangs around my place and then leaves me with the mess to clean up at the end of the day. I also don't know if asking someone on benefits to pay is the right thing to do.

Am I being reasonable here or an asshole?

[aita-irl]

wrong blog 💔

sobbing thank you... deleted the posts. im still getting the hang of this thank you for the reminders <3

-Mod Opie

[aita-irl]

Am I the asshole for putting a dog groomer on blast for faking her tiktok video of my dog?

I have a dog that occasionally needs to be groomed. Normally I do it myself but I have a healing fracture in my arm so this time I decided to go to a groomer a friend on mine is friends with. Met the lady, she seemed nice and knows her stuff about dogs. So I thought, great, nice to find someone who can de-shed my hairball and she was not too far away from where I live. Seemingly perfect in my eyes.

So I arrive at her place and drop off my dog, I get my dog back nice and clean and all seemed well. Then my friend tell me to check out a tiktok video. I don't have tiktok myself so she shows it to me.

Turns out the groomer rubbed my dog in mud and other nasty shit and uploaded some sob-story about a poor neglected dog she is rescuing and grooming for free after her owners abandoned her. It was not free btw, it cost me 140 euro.

Clearly my dog is not hurt or anything but it really rubbed me the wrong way she is basically using my dog for clout and I kind of saw red.

So I wrote a review on her google page, had my friend write a reply for me on her tiktok and told people at the dog school I go to about the situation. Now she (the groomer) is calling me unreasonable for outing her for something so innocent to people in our community who have dogs and that I should have talked to her first so we could have worked something out so her business would not have been hurt as much. She mentioned paying extra on top of a refund.

But honestly? I don't want to make a deal with someone like that. I genuinely hate disingenuous people like her. Sure, my dog was groomed well and didn't seem to be harmed, and I don't believe she would harm my dog. But still, what she did feels really fucking gross and slimy to me.

I do recognise I was (and am) very angry with her so perhaps I was the asshole in overreacting. My friend who recommended her and told me about the tiktok is on my side. She was mostly shocked her friend of 7+ years would do such a thing. But some others I've spoken to feel I should have handled it privately. But I feel she lost the privilege of handling it privately when she used my dog on social media for clout without me knowing.

[aita-irl]

aita for hitting my sister back? ok. so i (14f) and my little sister (11f) generally get along. according to some people, better than most siblings do, and i believe it to some extent. i mean we share similar hobbies and interests, and for the most part are cool with each other. but the other day we were just hanging out like usual in my room and my sister grabs my lanyard from last year and starts swinging it around on her arm. the first thing she does is make fun of the way i look on the lanyard (i'm already very insecure about my looks, but she doesn't know that, so i let it slide. and tbf i did look ugly last year. anyway.) she keeps swinging it, comes over to where i am on the chair, and hits me on the cheek with it accidentally hard. and this isn't why i hit her back -- it's because after i said "ow" and glared at her, she said, "that didn't hurt," as if she knew that.

it was a very petty thing to do and i'm willing to take responsibility for that-i am a very impulsive person, do things before thinking, that kind of thing. but i hit her back, trying to do it just as hard, if not softer. she went off on me, insisting it was an accident and that she was sorry. i told her that she shouldn't have been swinging it around near me in the first place if she never meant to hit me. we haven't really been as friendly since. this was like 2 days ago btw. i think it's more of an esh situation but i want outsider input.

so aita?

[aita-irl]

hey you might be reblogging to the wrong blog. love the take + tiktok though

thank you so much, i dont run many blogs so I appreciate the heads up when I slip up!

-Mod Opie

[aita-irl]

AITA for dying in a game while playing with my friends?

I swear I have no clue if I'm over-exaggerating but seriously this cannot be that deep.

I'm a new player in this multiplayer mascot horror game and I started about 1-2 weeks ago. I've been getting the hang of it but I'm still not perfect, especially considering how I'm not used to mobile controls yet. I feel that maybe this is important?

So yesterday (as of the time I'm writing this), I was just doing a quick run with some of my friends. For fun! We weren't like really TRYING to get that far, we just wanted to do something quick. Atleast that's what I thought??

Apparently to one of my friends, (who I'll just call H), it was deeper than that.

I died on one of the floors because I got misled somewhere and couldn't make it to the area you're supposed to go to progress in time (I wasn't fully used to the layout on the map that we had). I didn't really take it too badly because I got some things I wanted for a certain character.

H decided this was a cardinal sin because he thinks he "carried me" for that entire run (??? The only carrying he did was distract the monsters which is vital later on and I made sure to appreciate what he did). First off he almost crashed out in front of my other friends during the game (I'm glad he didn't but he also said "[my] death brings me so much rage that words can't express").

On discord DMs though is when H starts going INSANE?? He sends me poems for some reason and then pinged me saying "get your bitch ass up" and I was genuinely so confused about what he was getting mad at me about.

He then brings up past runs from when I first started to say that I'm bad at the game? I'm. New. I think it's pretty safe to assume that new players wouldn't be the best.

I asked him what the fuck he was so mad about and then he sends me five videos about the game and sent a patronizing message about a mechanic that I KNEW about???? I didn't respond and I don't think I will for a bit.

I can get being frustrated that a new player dies while you're trying to help them but I think getting this mad is a bit strange but idk. I've never been the best at stuff like this.

AITA for this??? I genuinely can't tell.

[aita-irl]

AITA for being upset at my parents for how they monitor my eating?

I, 15F, weigh roughly 190 pounds, (86kg) and am 5'10. (178 cm)

My parents say I eat way too much, and I understand that I do eat larger portions, And often snack.

Now, I understand caring about your kid's health.

However, whenever I chose to eat less than normal, or not eat, my parents get really upset about how I'm "wasting food" and "being disrespectful"

They do the same with some other habits of mine, but this is the one that bothers me the most.

AITA for being bothered by this?

[aita-irl]

Am I in the wrong for asking a mutual if their stated age was correct?

So about five months ago, I (15F) asked a long-time mutual (let's call him M) what his age was. For context, I had just taken a break from Tumblr, and before I left, his bio said he was 16. After I came back, it still said he was 16, even though I was gone for a while, and come to think of it, I did feel like I saw it say the same age a few years ago, when I was thirteen...

Anyway, I was getting super confused, so I sent an ask for clarification. M sent a passive-aggressive reply saying that yes, he was 16, when did he ever say that before [insert date] of [insert year], everyone here is blind, et cetera. So I blamed it on my bad memory, and that was that.

At least, until a few days ago, when M made another passive-agressive post saying that the person who incorrectly assumed his age a while back (me) was right all along, and that he's actually 14. Now, I'm 85% sure this is a joke, but I don't know what to make of it. I get the feeling that he's still mad at me for making that assumption, but I feel like that whole incident blew over already. So, people of the internet, what do you think?

[aita-irl]

WIBTA if I ignored my friend's message?

I'm considering it.

Context: I have a nice friend. We're good friends, I'm pretty sure. But they have a small habit of sometimes ignoring one of my messages and just... moving on to another topic. Normally I give them a pass, because not everyone can hold conversations perfectly on the internet.

But in this particular case the message they ignored was me expressing my enthusiasm about something, and expressing heartfelt enthusiasm makes me feel insecure and worried that the other person will see me as lesser for it.

They don't know this, and I don't plan to tell them. I'd rather not tell anyone online about my issues, because that might make them feel obligated to have a tip-toe-around-bombs mentality when talking to me.

So they just sent a message, and I want to ignore it. Maybe they'll realize that ignoring people isn't nice. That probably wouldn't happen, because proper realizations can't happen without proper communication about things, and as I said above, I'm not willing to communicate about my issues. But I'm feeling hurt, and I have a bit of an eye-for-an-eye mentality.

WIBTA?

(I'm probably going to end up replying to their message. I just wanted to express my hurt in some way. Also, I understand this is a small issue, but I'm rather sensitive.)

(Also, if anyone has any suggestions about how to communicate that I don't want to be ignored in a way that won't make them tip-toe around me (and in a way that doesn't sound harsh and hurt their feelings/make them feel obligated to always reply/address every point I offer them even when they can't), then I would be glad to hear it.)

[aita-irl]

WIBTA if I called the ambulance for myself and forced my parents to foot the bill?

first of all: same Anon as this one: https://www.tumblr.com/aita-irl/773016116209631233/aita-for-not-getting-a-job-and-telling-my-mom-i?source=share

I (20NB) have severe chronic pains in my chest that make things like working not a good idea. Said chronic pains have been there since the 5th grade but have been getting worse and worse. My family has refused to help, with my mom claiming they're normal and i'll just grow out of them the moment i move out and my dad saying nothing important there hurts.

The main issue is twofold 1 I don't work or study so I don't have insurance or a way to pay for a visit (I'm Polish so it's about 100PLN a regular visit which amounts to 25 Euro or 20 Pounds.) and 2 I can't drive (I can't focus and have bad eyesight. i would be a danger on the road) and live in a tiny mountain village of about 1500 people without an easy way to visit a doctor.

So I was thinking and I realized that next time the pains get particularly bad I could just call an ambulance which would force someone to look at the pains. however it would also force my parents to pay for it. which they probably wouldn't be happy with. I would of course tell them that either they help me get the pains looked at, or I'll just call that ambulance and they just have to pay for all of that before i did it. (And Also No, I don't have anyone else who could help. the closest family leaves 4 hours away by car and I don't have any IRL friends. this is sort of my last resort)

But you decide WIBTA?

[aita-irl]

AITA for cutting off a relationship and friendship right after we just got together?

Okay, so I had a long term friendship with a person (I'm female, they are nonbinary) and we friends for a couple of years. We got together in middleschool after I started having a crush on them. The whole time I was developing the crush, I was staying up late texting and calling them, my grades started to go down, I was a closeted bisexual, and I was in a dark mental space. When we got together, they started to act pretty affection, some PDA, hand holding, putting their head on my shoulder, pet names, that stuff. Only a day after we got together I started to rethink my decision and felt regret for what I was doing. To also do some backtracking, they didn't have the best home life, their absent parent knew exactly who I was and where I lived, they had suffered from trauma along with the rest of their family, and they had grown pretty attached to me. They were also Jewish. I don't have anything against Jewish people, I am an atheist but I don't disrespect others beliefs. I knew the relationship just wasn't going to work out due to having such differing beliefs and then again, us both being mentally ill and practically trauma bonding over the years of our friendship made it feel like we didn't need help. I tried to get them help multiple times and they always brushed it off and always listened to my problems which only made me feel worse. I also just couldn't bring myself to never be able to eat anything with gluten in it again. They know alot of personal things about my life which I am still worried about them talking about with others now to this day. When I cut ties with them, I did it over call which I shouldn't have done, but it would have been much harder to do it face to face and I am horrible at talking to people about stuff like this, especially when i know I am hurting them. They started to make some questionable life choices after that and I still have some classes with them. I have to deal with them in some shape or form almost every day. Half of my friends have mixed feelings about the whole thing and only know certain parts of the story. I still feel feelings of anger and spite due to dragging me down with them and for not caring enough about themselves to try and get better but I am also angry for wasting 7 years of my life on them. I have had some debates with myself over me wondering if I was the asshole and still am the asshole in this situation. AITA?

[aita-irl]

Aita for making my bf feel bad for not getting me anything for valentines?

I (16 X) and my bf (17 M) and been dating for the last nearly 7 months, and well as the title suggests- he got me fuck all for valentines day. Not even a card, didn't spend the day with me, nothing, just treated it like a regular ass day. and then last minute, literally like half an hour before midnight, he started telling me how he was so upset and felt guilty cause he didn't get me anything. And I was telling him it was fine and I didn't care but it's NOT fine and I DO care because imagine not getting your partner of 7 months ANYTHING for valentines? He did this on our 6 month anniversary and Christmas as well- and to me it just feels like he doesn't give a shit. I told him as much and he broke down with the guilt, revealing that he had actually been working on stuff but didn't manage to complete it in time and only didn't give it to me yet cause he wanted it perfect and finished. He then showed me a drawing he'd done for me- which was admittedly lovely. Now I feel like a dick for being mad at him cause he was evidently trying- he just didn't have time to finish it on time. In addition to this all of my friends are telling me to break up with him cause "if he wanted to he would" but I just don't think that's fair. I feel like if should've just kept quiet and not let on how upset I was. I did have a nice valentines- my gf (16 F) did make sure I had a lovely day, but it just sucks that she treated me more than he did when I've only been dating her for barely a month and him for 7. (Quick psa that my gf and bf are also dating- he didn't get her anything either)

[aita-irl]

WIBTA for breaking up with my boyfriend if he goes to prison?

We've been together for 7 months, I (23f) knew he (22m) had mental health issues similar to mine, those shared experiences were part of the reason we just clicked so well together. However, I was under the impression that he was far more stable than he was until very recently. I knew his meds weren't working as well as they could be and that he was in the process of switching to know ones, as well as finding a new Psychiatrist after moving from one state to another. He was supposed to go with his mother to finish cleaning the apartment he'd moved out of and was trying to get out of it because it was on the day of the week that we normally have our dungeons and dragons game with some mutual friends. He had asked his mother to not go several times already before this, incident btw. She told him no again, and he tried to leave that night to go clean it himself. It was 10pm, the apartment is 4 hours from where he lives now, he has little in the way of cleaning skills and the entire reason the plan was to go the next day was because a carpet cleaner had been hired and they were supposed to be there to let her in. A verbal argument started that quickly got out of hand, and as the car he uses is in his parents name they threatened to call the police claiming grand theft auto if he left with it. He started making threats against them and against himself. The police were called and he got very physical with them, before he was detained and sent to the ER for threatening suicide. He is in the psychiatric hospital now, has been for nearly 2 weeks. I told him when we first started dating that past trauma has left me with a limited well of empathy to draw from as a sort of defense mechanism and that while I was working on that, he should be aware of it. The well has grown a bit since we started dating, but the past two weeks have been hell on me. It's currently empty and I can't honestly say I feel any sympathy for him right now. I had to be the point of contact between him and his parents because was refusing to talk to them and would not clear the doctors to speak with them about his treatment in the hospital. I had to be available basically 24/7 to not only answer the phone but forward any news to his parents. I lost a lot of sleep, I've had to take time off work and it's been a lot of driving back and forth between the ER, and his parents house and now the psychiatric hospital which is an hour away. I am fucking exhausted. He is speaking with his parents now but it took a lot of effort on my part. Even so, he still hasn't quite gotten it through his head that his current circumstances are a consequence of his own actions and not the fault of his parents. I found out yesterday that he injured one of the police officers and there's a very real chance he might face jail time. If that's going to be anything like the past 2 weeks have been I don't think I have it in me to stay with him through his incarnation.

[aita-irl]

Am I the asshole for kicking out my friend after they pushed my puppy's nose in his own pee?

This situation has gotten quite out of hand already and I'm kind of overwhelmed and feel like I might no longer be a good judge here. I'm using fake names for everyone.

So, my friend, Connor, was kicked out after he came out as trans a few months ago and moved in with his girlfriend, Sadie. Sadly he and Sadie broke up and are not on good terms right now.

I'm a mutual friend of the both of them and decided to offer help since I care about the both of them. So it was decided Aiden would move in with me to avoid any more stress by having to live with Sadie for longer than necessary and so he has a place to stay. Sadie is fine with this and we talked it through, I still go visit her at her place but for now she doesn't want to visit me as long as Connor is here. Which seems reasonable. Connor plays towards the groceries but otherwise we decided he should save up for a deposit on his own place, which is fine by me.

It went well the first few days, Connor loves my dogs and was super excited about my puppy who I got 2 weeks ago. I thought him spending time with my dogs helped him deal with all he is going through right now and was glad for it.

However, I noticed my puppy started getting scared around Connor. At first I thought it was just because the puppy is generally quite shy but I caught Connor dragging my pups nose through it's own accident in the living room and yelling at him while holding his scruff. I immediately told him to stop that and how that just teaches your dog to not pee in your presence. Connor tried to argue how his family always trained dogs like that but I rather harshly told him it's outdated and harmful and he cannot do that to my dog. He tried arguing some more but I shut that down and told him to not do anything like that again or he'd have to find another place to stay. He seemed to comply after that and promised to do it my way. Which is just put the puppy in his crate and clean it without a fuzz because puppies pee and accidents happen.

A few days later I caught him doing it again. He tried to apologise and say it was just a habit but I got kind of mad and told him to pack his bags. He yelled I'm going to get him killed because he can't afford his own place and trans people are targets especially right now. I told him he should have thought of that before he decided to abuse a puppy again after being told not to and haven gotten an explanation as to why that methode doesn't work.

He called Sadie and even though she was mad at him she called me out for throwing a trans person on the street knowing how things are now over a misunderstanding. She does think he was wrong to do that to my dog but she says I'm overreacting.

I feel really torn because I'm not sure I trust Connor anymore with my dogs but I also still care for him and want to help out but I feel like I have the right to keep my own home feeling safe for me and my dogs.

He's currently back at Sadie which is causing a whole lot of stress for everyone involved and Sadie keeps asking me to let him stay at my place but I'm very hesitant and have so far refused.

Am I the asshole for kicking Connor out and not letting him come back?

[aita-irl]

Is this blog still active?

Hi, I'm one of the mods on this blog, and unfortunately I think the other mods got busy with IRL. I'm going to try to continue to post the backlog, and I'll try to respond to people when I can, but I myself am disabled and might not have all the time in the world.

Thanks for sticking around, everyone who has!

-Mod Opie