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Oh god, what does this say about me?? #saladchronicles (at The Winchester Street Theatre)

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Dear Salad,

I find your ridiculous ratio of way too much baby spinach to way too little arugula disturbing.  You are supposed to be a mix, not a bowl of spinach with some arugula thrown in here and there.  How am i supposed to balance my whole life if you can't even balance your mix-ratio? what hope is there for anything in the universe? Surely we shall all perish. Love, A.J. P.S. It's probably the end of the world and it's basically all your fault.

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Dear Salad, Don't, they said. Only things you can peel yourself they said. It could make you violently ill.. Salmonella. Hep B. Be careful, they said.... I'll have the octopus carpaccio with side salad, I said. Love, A.J. (at Medellín, Antioquia)

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When people think you're joking about salad. Salad is no joke. Neither is laundry. #tourlife #nowardrobefacilities #saladchronicles (at Medellín, Antioquia)

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Salad and meatballs. A perfect #latergram to celebrate a beautifully executed show last week. Surely these dinners straight from the glorious trough fueled my art. #saladchronicles #balls #perfectbalance

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Tech salad for load in from my guardian angel #dreamwalkerdancecompany #rescuesalad #saladchronicles

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The most glorious way to eat salad: on a pizza. #saladchronicles

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#latergram of dinner with dear friends. Salad by yours truly. I brought up poop at the dinner table.... at least the kids thought it was funny. #laughingwithsalad #saladchronicles

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Aaarrggg on no I made the pizza but forgot to make the salad ahhhhh nooooooo NOOOO OH WELL. *munch munch* #saladchronicles #saladvspizza #saladtomorrowpizzatonight

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Contrary to popular belief, the cheese almost never stands alone. Everyone loves cheese. It is the salad who withstands the greatest loneliness and rejection in the food world. So lonely and sadly alone. #saladchronicles #sadsalad #notevenmysalad #wishyouwerecheese (at The Lakeview Restaurant)

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Dear Salad,

I think we have moved past the carrot sticks and tea portion of the day.  I think it's about time for some salty cheese and hard liquor.  

Feeling good about ourselves is truly overrated, anyhow.

Until next time...

Love,

A.J.

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This giant salad is blocking the damn charcuterie. Unfortunately eating it is the only way to get to the sweet sweet meat and cheese. Thanks @stevelucasdesign for the career councelling! #salad #saladchronicles #movesaladgetouttheway (at The Céilí Cottage)

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I ordered the whitefish with roasted veg.... and was informed upon delivery of said meal that they were all out of veg, so..... guess what... #saladchronicles #salad #sneakyfucker #surprisesalad #notreallysurprised (at Tobermory, Ontario)

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Kind of like salad. Only better. #notsalad #betterthansalad (at The Sweet Shop)

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Dear Salad,

Dear Salad, Twice in one day?  I'm impressed with your stamina.  I would say this might become a regular thing, except that i'm pretty sure this only happened because it was so freaking hot outside, when it came time for lunch, all i could stomach was you.  Tonight on the other hand.... tonight.... you were marvellous.   Love, A.J. 

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Today's dinner at a friend's place. When I ask what I can bring, the answer is usually salad. I have done this to myself. Baby arugula and spinach, feta, thinly sliced pear, blueberries, and my signature salad chronicles vinegrette. #salad #saladchronicles

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Dear Salad,

I never thought this would happen, but I miss you. Not only do i miss you, but i actually miss you even though i have been fed many glorious, glorious meals here in Nova Scotia. I am, however, pining for you. All of these rich stick-to-the-ribs meals make my stomach cry out for roughage. My digestive system simply cannot handle meat and potatoes every night. The fact that you were served as a side at one of said meals only made me remember what we had (namely, regularly scheduled bowel movements - such romance! i clearly failed to properly appreciate our love!).

I promise when i return to Toronto, we're going to get it on, on a bed of roses (ok, lettuce, but whatever).

kisses,

A.J.

P.S. does Metamucil count as salad?