akalei

[akalei]

“You’ve been wearing black too long.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

“If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you; remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including Puerto Rico.” “Sir, you will find that the word "fear" is not in my vocabulary!” “Perhaps... but it's in your eyes.”

Man… no one does it quite like Jo.

[akalei]

the homies: ok it’s your turn to pick a movie for movie night 

me:

[akalei]

The iron hand of Götz von Berlichingen (1480-1562), a knight and mercenary who lost his right arm in a siege [640×360]

[akalei]

This is so relatable, I’m dying.

[akalei]

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

[akalei]

Modern Sherlock Holmes but he’s a 27 year old, drinks energy drinks only, is astonishing polite and has no idea how the solar system works because it was never relevant to a case but can name every every person involved in making Super Mario Bros because he did need that for a case once.

Watson is continuously appalled about his eating habits and makes vague posts on Twitter that ends in threads like

Watson: “My roommate noticed only today that he can label his email inboxs but took apart his entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.”

Person: “This reminds me of the post about the roommate who couldn’t turn on the coffee machine but remembers like 500 numbers of pi”

Watson: “I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same roommate.”

[akalei]

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

[akalei]

Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

[akalei]

[akalei]

Concept: Depressing dystopian factory where everything is gray and samey and the workers are called by their employee numbers by an ominous deep voice.

But it's a really great place to work with high salaries, excellent benefits, and a flexible working schedule with plenty of paid leave. They just like the dystopian aesthetic.

[akalei]

If it sounds like the composer is trying to blast you with the orchestra until you're as deaf as he is, it's Beethoven.

If it sounds like the composer might be a vampire, it's Bach.

If it sounds like the composer is trying to set the violins on fire, it's Vivaldi.

[akalei]

Various audio snippets of my childhood that I've collected.

[akalei]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[akalei]

I was born in the late nineteen hundreds

[akalei]

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

[akalei]