akillerconundrum

[akillerconundrum]

Just your average Multiverse Bartender, here to talk about your depression, not his depression.

Indie Doctor Steven “Strange Supreme”, Master Sorcerer of the Forbidden Arts of the multiverse.  

Semi-selective due to spotty IRL availability

A sad old man who’s trying his best and needs to get out more

Open to long winded eloquent diatribes, and short spurts of shenanigans, as applicable. 

May contain depressive and horror themes, but generally considered PG13. Mun is old and ace.

From the Mun that brought you @akillerconundrum, @darthtryhard, @nuxtheuncrackable-blog, and many more!

Promo art doodled by me. There might be more doodles in the future idk.

[akillerconundrum]

“If you are Justice

Please do not lie

What is the price

For your blind eye?”

[akillerconundrum]

OOC:

Hey y’all. I know I haven’t been around much. I still love Ed and will probably return here again when moral improves, but like... yeah. My heart isn’t really into writing right now. 

Anyhoo just wanted to check in and say: Wear a goddamn mask, we’re in a pandemic, it’s not political it’s common decency for the safety of everyone. 

Also, All Cops Are Bastards, and I have no room for bootlicking supremacists here. We can’t and shouldn’t go back to “normal”, because “normal” is bullshit.  Everyone deserves better. Especially our BIPOC friends. 

Love you all, even if you disagree. I still love you and think you can do better. 

Just remember to think.

[akillerconundrum]

[akillerconundrum]

“I already explained the size necessity to hide in plain sight- with the continued construction expansion efforts, you can rent out these areas,” He returned his attention to the slide projector, flipping back to the diagrams in question, “These areas you would become landlord for casual, civilian office space, giving you this entire area of the building,” He motioned to the center core of the place, “The Bat would never think to look until it’s already complete and too late! THEN, he’d be forced to descend down through, solving my puzzles one by one out of fear the civilians residing in the outer rings could become casualties should he fail!” His hands raised victoriously, as though that was all the explanation he felt was needed.

@kxngofgotham

“And that,” Ed flipped to the next slide of his presentation, turning with utmost professionalism to Oswald as he stood in the light of the projector, “Is my explanation as to why you should invest in my plan to create a thirty story Escape Room.”

[akillerconundrum]

@kxngofgotham

“And that,” Ed flipped to the next slide of his presentation, turning with utmost professionalism to Oswald as he stood in the light of the projector, “Is my explanation as to why you should invest in my plan to create a thirty story Escape Room.”

[akillerconundrum]

𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐔𝐆 𝐌𝐄 𝐈'𝐌 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃  𝟏, 𝟐, 𝟑   ♡   𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

    some lines modified to be more usable.  ♡

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 .

“  how’d you get that idea?  ” “  tell me,  please,  what do you see?  ” “  maybe to you,  but not to me.  ” “  i don’t see what you mean.  ” “  i use my hair to express myself.  ” “  that sounds really boring.  ” “  don’t you find it exciting?  ” “  come on,  take another look.  ” “  i think you’re getting the hang of it now!  ” “  let’s use our minds to have a good time.  ” “  woah there,  friend,  you might need to slow down.  ” “  green is not a creative colour.  ” “  there’s one more thing you need to know.  ” “  listen to your heart.  ” “  listen to the rain.  ” “  listen to the voices in your brain.  ” “  let’s get creative!  ” “  let’s agree to never be creative again.  ”

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 .

“  come on,  stop mucking around.  ” “  we only have five minutes until our show’s on!  ” “  that’s not enough time!  ” “  there’s always time for a song.  ” “  the past is far behind us.  ” “  the future doesn’t exist.  ” “  what’s the time?  ” “  time to have a bath.  ” “  we’re going to miss our show.  ” “  don’t be stupid,  friend.  ” “  come on,  it’s time to go.  ” “  time flies fast when you’re having fun.  ” “  there’s a time   &   a place for mucking around.  ” “  i’m friends with my dad.  ” “  but look,  a computer!  ” “  look at all the wonderful things you can do.  ” “  look at the time!  ” “  is time even real?  does anyone know?  ” “  maybe time’s just a construct of human perception.  ” “  isn’t it strange how time makes your appearance change?  ” “  make it stop!!  ” “  don’t worry,  i’m sure you’ll be fine.  ” “  eventually,  everyone runs out of time.  ”

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 .

“  isn’t it nice to be outside on such a beautiful day?  ” “  you seem upset about something.  ” “  i wonder what will happen.  ” “  it makes you sad,  doesn’t it?  that there’s so much hatred in the world.  ” “  i hope you don’t mind if i ask you a question.  ” “  have you ever wondered why we’re here?  ” “  it doesn’t have to be,  that i hate you   &   you hate me.  ” “  even though we’re different,  it doesn’t make a difference.  ” “  i know you don’t know who i am,  but maybe i could hold your hand?  ” “  i feel tingly   …  ” “  do you ever feel like life’s unfair?  ” “  i made this for you,  ’cause i love you so much.  ” “  everyone has a special one.  ” “  this is your chance to start anew.  ” “  oh,  there you are.  i’ve been looking for you all afternoon.  ” “  i’m sorry i upset you.  ”

[akillerconundrum]

@jamesgordonofgotham

The scene of the crime was grizzly, a complicated tableau of the violent tragedy of Gotham’s streets. Before anyone had even noticed his presence, an enthusiastic voice spoke up from behind the detective, “What has four fingers and a thumb but isn’t alive?”  Ed was already on the scene, crouched beside a dead body with a bright smile.

[akillerconundrum]

It’s been forever, right? I should bust you right now. Oh, come on, Jim, don’t be grumpy.

[akillerconundrum]

You fool me once, Jim, shame on you. You fool me twice… Well, that’s just not gonna happen!

[akillerconundrum]

Hey Y’all, just letting you know I’m still alive and kickin’, just bogged down by ((gestures at the general state of everything)). Been hard to get myself to write. I miss you all, and I miss writing Ed, and I hope to get my groove back soon. Just puttin’ it out there: I love you all, think you’re all fantastic and I’m still here, even if a bit quiet atm. <33 

[akillerconundrum]

Some of the last of Forensic Ed 

[akillerconundrum]

a bitter pill to swallow + reddit commentary (edward nygma)

[akillerconundrum]

These violent delights have violent ends

Edward paused in his tightening of the buckles on the saddlebag, brows knit as he turned to try to see who it was that had whispered in his ear.  It had been… a woman’s voice, maybe? No, not quite- something else? He couldn’t quite wrap his head around it.  He’d come into town for supplies, like he always did, but normally people avoided him, which was understandable. 

He wasn’t like the other blacksmiths. 

For one, instead of a horse, he road a strange, three wheeled contraption, crafted from wagon wheels and an iron and wood frame housing a small steam engine.  

These violent delights have violent ends. The words were familiar somehow, but he couldn’t wrap his mind around where he had heard it before- if he’d heard it before, what it could possibly mean, who had said it- it stuck in his mind like a strange puzzle… He had business to tend to, though, and needed to be quick before-

“What in Tarnation is this supposed to be, Mr. Nygma?” Came the drawling voice of a man who had probably not only drank his breakfast but his supper the night before as well. 

“Good morning, Mr. Dunn. It’s a steam-loco-velocipede-” Edward began, straightening his bowler indignantly as he quickly moved toward the saddle. 

“You that bad at doin’ shoes, you’re tryin’ to re-invent the horse?” Mr. Dunn laughed, as did his handful of associates all moving to surround the contraption, one of who spat his chew toward Edward’s feet, hitting him in the shin. 

“I’m actually quite capable at-” he mumbled before someone’s fist was thrown directly in his stomach. 

“We already told you to keep your mad hogwash outta’ Sweetwater. There’s women present!”

“Not that you’d know what onna’ them looks like! Ha!” Another added, as well as his boot to the mix…

[akillerconundrum]

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins.

[akillerconundrum]

jamesgordonofgotham‌:

“Right.” He still had a sip, just to get the taste out of his mouth. “Well, thanks for the company during lunch, Ed.” The remainders of his lunch were gathered and deposited in the nearest trash can. I’ll let you get back to whatever you were working on.”

“Oh,” Ed’s beaming smile faded a little in quiet disappointment, “Well, ah... thank you as well, Detective. I... very much appreciate it.  Any time, my office is open. I suppose I’ll talk to you when I have those results.” And figure out what to do about the taste issue in his concoction. He’d have to leave an updated version of the formula mixture on Jim’s desk later, he was sure he’d need it. 

[akillerconundrum]

Two and two halves, one could say, adding up to three. The best of relationships end in a fatality (or close to it) or so is his understanding

Ed and Jim are really two peas in a pod when it comes to relationships

Jim: falls in and out of relationships without much effort on his part, has no clue how to keep it stable, wrecks all of them

Ed: has no clue how to enter a relationship, some how manages to have three, wrecks all of them

@akillerconundrum