alanaf14 - Tumblr blog

[alanaf14]

I feel like I'm hitting a low point

The fact that I'm getting older is hitting me really hard. I miss being little and not worrying about going to college, and how after that I still have to get into grad school, and then I have to pass a certification test, and then I have to find a job and pay taxes and live on my own. I know there isn't any shame in living at home, but at the same time, I don't wanna fall behind. I know there isn't any shame in taking a long time to graduate school, but I don't wanna disappoint anyone. Another really big source of anxiety is the realization that my grandparents are getting older. I can't imagine life without them, they mean so much to me. I know that realistically, one of them will be the first person close to me to pass away, and I really cannot handle that thought. The fact that people just die, that they shape who you are as a person, and then they're just gone, isn't fair. It feels so cruel, that one of the conversations I have with them, will be my last. I want to ask them so many questions, but I don't even know where to begin. Everything feels so pointless, why am I doing this? What am I getting from it? I can't remember the last time I felt genuinely happy.

[alanaf14]

hey :

Even though my goal isn't centered around gaining a big following, (or any at all) I still wanted to do a little intro post.

I decided to make this blog because I haven't been doing too well mentally, and I wanted a place to voice my thoughts and be able to look back on it.

I'm 17, and a senior in high school, I love crafts, singing (although I'm not very good :)), baking, books, and music! Any DMS (positive ofc) or comments are welcome! I've been a part of the Tumblr community for years, but this is the first post I'm actually making! If you made it this far, I love you :)

Fandoms I'm active in:

Stranger Things

Supernatural

Tasm

MCU

PJO!