alaratezel

[alaratezel]

I truly don’t care about being considered difficult. I said what the fuck I said. I want what the fuck I want.

[alaratezel]

Eda Yıldız - Episode 3 1/3

[alaratezel]

luca-connolly​:

“I wouldn’t know the difference.” Shaking his head because while he knew of both names that was where his knowledge ended. If she’d asked about any modern day artist then he couldn’t have contributed but anything considered a classic he considered boring and had written off. “Is it now?” Doing a complete one-eighty to re-take in all the sights around him to try to see the beauty that Alara was talking about. “Yeah I’m still just seeing plants and not art but I’ll take your word for it.” Laughing just a bit and not at her, but rather at his lack of understanding in the moment. As he followed her out and listened to the unravelling of plans he’d seemed to uncover the amusement hadn’t left his own features. While he was about ninety percent sure she was kidding, Lucas knew he wouldn’t be too upset if the scenario actually happened. Sounded like a hell of a way to go. “You know, this is quite well thought out, I can’t be the first sucker you’ve dragged down to the lake. He opened the passenger door despite the threat of death and hopped in, waiting for her to do the same. “Turns out I’m not a glutton for punishment because quick and painless are my ideal ways out of this world. Plus beer and a boat? Truly not a bad last night on earth. You might just be doing me a favor here.” 

“No, me neither, I just figured it would sound smart to pretend that I did.” There’s a smirk that crosses over her lips. Never let it be said she wouldn’t call out her own bullshit, she had no quarrels with the truth. “Well, I think so... But that’s probably because I think the best art is always a little sad. And what’s more tragic than a flower?” To bloom only to die a week later. But enough of that, she wasn’t trying to hit some deep and meaningful side of his soul. “Not the first, not the last.” Alara smirked, even laughed quietly when he got in the car in spite of what she’d said. For all he knew she could have been telling the truth. Stranger things had certainly happened. “Uh, let’s not forget the amazing company, huh?” She teased. “Who wouldn’t want to spend their last night on earth with me? I’m an absolute riot,” grinning as she set off onto the road, she stole a glance and shrugged towards him. “Doubtful. If I dump you under the water, who’s going to save either Derek, Matt or Evan from their poor hook up choices.” With nothing but a smirk of pure mischief, she pulls her phone out her back pocket and hands it over. “First photos in my album,” Alara says whilst concentrating on her driving. “You can tell me to fuck off and mind my own, but I’m not a terrible judge of character and these guys... I think you’d get along, though Evan is more into the dating scenario, so if you’re just looking for a roll around maybe he’s not for you.” She can’t help but look over at him with an adorable grin, one that’s trying to tell him she’s not pushing, if anything, she’s just being playful and if he chose to tell her to set him up with someone? Then great, but if not, no harm to it. 

[alaratezel]

andreashaw​:

“Sure, and I just like picking up random calls in the middle of the night.”  It was one thing to be caught red-handed, another thing to just pretend that nothing had happened. Since it wasn’t the first time, even the art that Alara did was familiar to her. She knew enough of it to know that every artist had their signature brushstroke, the thing they did, whatnot. The girl in front of her definitely had hers and through the time she had learned to recognize it. “It’s already been called in, you know. Besides, this isn’t something small that people could overlook, it’s something that is very visible and still is the destruction of the property of the town. You should be glad I am the one who keeps running into you, otherwise, you’d be tasked with washing that off yourself.” Not everyone in this town had an eye for art. Since Andrea lived in New York, she was far more accustomed to it than other natives. When she wasn’t studying there all those years ago, she did go out to gallery openings and museums, just to she could expand her horizons. Know a little more than the words of justice law. Which was why she kept letting Alara off the hook. She appreciated what she did, enjoyed what she brought to life, but it was also her job to make sure this town didn’t end up looking like Detroit. At the mention of the town’s other problems, Andy’s eyebrows furrowed together, and now there was an annoyed scowl on her features. It was too fresh for her, too constant in her mind for her not to react, but she knew she had to be the bigger person and at least try to control her temper. 

Andrea took in a long breath, collecting her throughs and choosing to ignore it altogether. Using avoidance was the thing that would get her through it without her raising her voice. Small wins, that was if Alara was going to accept the ignorance and move on too. “I’ll just call you by your name.” She said, her voice still slightly tense. “Yeah, but it’s graffiti because you choose to do it on public property, we’d be able to call it art if you were to use a canvas for once.” She allowed herself an eye-roll. The girl was difficult, and she understood. It was art and it was beautiful, but it made it exponentially harder to do her own work when she kept popping those on random buildings and walls. Maybe someone should pull a Pacey and gift her a damn wall. Though it was still a small chance that she’d stick to it. 

Great, fucking - great. Andrea through to herself and Alara shot her a second mention. in the direction, she did not want to go. Not tonight. Slowly her one hand curled into a fist, but she quickly tucked it away into her leather jacket. She had to control herself, but it was getting harder each time. Especially when she had no answers. In the last days, even a small push was enough to set her off. But Alara really didn’t deserve to witness that. “Just get lost or start scrubbing, Alara.” The words came out through her gritted teeth.

“Destruction is a strong word.” She frowned, openly so. Art, destructive? She didn’t agree, but then she was certain the Detective would know that. Whilst she didn’t mean to come across so irritated, she was, but only because some busy body had seemingly taken the time to call in an act of graffiti, as if they had nothing better to do. “I’m going to be very upset if it gets washed off. Just because it’s paint doesn’t make it less of a memorial to honour the dead.” Again, just how she saw it, perhaps biasedly so. Since she always struggled to express her sadness in any other way, art was her go to option, her way of being kind even if nobody ever knew she was the one behind the mural. There’s a perfectly tweezed brow that raises subtly, always one to read into body language and pick up on the things people didn’t say out loud. How else would she stay safe from the people who would only waste her time or try to drag her down? However, she noted mentally that the ever so snippy tone the Detective took with her was new, considering their numerous encounters. How many times she’d let Alara get away with something she shouldn’t have. Perhaps she shouldn’t push too much, she didn’t want to end up in cuffs, after all. But then... She was never the type to hold her tongue, so doing so was visibly difficult. “You think I only paint when it’s technically illegal?” She chuckled, just letting her know that actually, she did paint on canvases, numerous other things too. It was a small way of trying to pull the mood back to neutral. 

Brown eyes slowly floated down to the clenched fists, making no attempt to hide that she’d noticed, either. She imagined, rightly or wrongly, any anger the woman had wasn’t actually aimed at her or because of her, which only prompted her to relent with a slouch of her shoulders. She’d take the win and she’d get lost, but not before offering a few words. Simply because she never really did learn to not give an input when she solely decided someone needed an incentive. “My mother used to tell me that a problem shared is a problem solved.” She held a hand up and pulled a little face. “Not that I’m the one to share it with, I think that would stray way too far away from this weird dance of cops and robbers that we do,” she almost smiled, sucking in a soft sigh. “But she also used to tell me I focused too heavily on what I couldn’t fix, getting vexed trying to solve things that weren’t my fault to the point where I could no longer see that they weren’t...  She’d say, ‘Alara, sometimes you get so blindsided that it gets to the point where all you have to show for your thoughts is the frustration aimed at the wrong people.’ She’d tell me to take a breath and express it through the thing I loved most,” she gestured to the art and shrugged. “So what I’m saying is, when you have no answers, take a breath. Let it go doing something you love and then you’ll be reminded that whatever’s going on, whilst it may be your job to solve it, it’s not your fault it’s happening and it’s not your doing that there’s no answers.” Zipping up her jacket, she knew that this was probably the most she’d ever spoken to her, it was certainly the most meaningful thing she’d ever said, or shared. Mentioning her mom, she didn’t do that too often, if at all - her death still weighed heavily in her heart. “Basically what I’m saying is let it out, suck it up and strut like the boss bitch you are because if you step off you’re game, we’re all fucked.” Alara couldn’t help but add that in, followed with a smirk. Couldn’t leave on a purely sappy note now, could she? “So no pressure, Shawshank.” 

[alaratezel]

cmaddox​:

an amused look was on celeste’s face and she was shaking her head in disbelief,” see they may look good and the whole bad ass thing is awesome but i think you enjoy living in the twenty first century like the rest of us.” of course she knew exactly where her friend was coming from. she was unable to stop herself from grinning,” you only rise early if i come bug you unless it’s a day you are working.” she was a bit relieved that alara wasn’t asking exactly what had happened the previous night. mostly because celeste was still processing it herself. her nose crinkled at her friend’s insistence. of course she understood where it was coming from and why. their whole friendship had started because of that fateful day. she blew at a strand of hair that was in her face and shrugged,” we can go,” she promised,” you don’t have to worry about me, i swear.” she didn’t want to ruin two years of sobriety for anything or anyone. that didn’t mean that there wasn’t a chance that she wouldn’t slip. she was relieved that she was able to balance everything when she returned with the apple pie. if she had, had any vanilla ice cream she would have served it with that. she was laughing a little as she went to get comfortable and set a plate on her lap,” you? fussy? impossible.” she was going to take a bite herself and was instantly hit with relief. she quickly swallowed, laughing at her friend’s reaction,” i’ll keep that in mind if i decide to make this again,” she said with a smile,” i am debating making some treats that are halloween themed so if you want anything let me know.” 

“you think so?” she only smiled. that typical alara smile, one that said ‘maybe, maybe not. maybe you’ll never know.’ did she enjoy living in the twenty first century? of course, but did she crave the simplicity of a life without the quarrels of the modern age? absolutely. a strange concept for someone so young, but she always did feel out of her time, out of place. never quite fitting in to the point of mental isolation. “this is true, and you’re the only one who’s never received a violent response for doing so, so count yourself very lucky.” alara grinned. there’s a pair of brown eyes that narrow ever so slightly towards celeste and she nods firmly. “i know i don’t, but i do, not because you give me reason to but because you’re my friend, and... that’s just how i feel. i worry about you burning yourself while cooking, it’s not specific to your past.” as in, she didn’t worry just because she was a recovering addict who could fall off the wagon. that’s not how her mind worked at all. alara just showed her care in small ways a lot of people didn’t really notice because most people needed spoken words to know somebody was showing affection. “no but i am. at least i am when it comes to certain foods on their own. there’s a massive list of things i will not eat and if you ever, ever put a cucumber in-front of me i would turn pale because the smell alone,” she paused, screwing up her face in disgust before shaking it off, taking another bite of her food. “oh, please! anything. literally, anything, i’ll be your sampler. but now you mention it, can i make an order request? i’d like to gift my sisters a tray of halloween themed cupcakes. but if it isn’t totally obscene, i want you to make one in each tray with salt and not sugar, and hot sauce or something in the middle instead of jam...” typical sister prank. “i’ll pay you extra if you do.”

[alaratezel]

[alaratezel]

I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places Now I’m in a cab, I tell him where your place is

[alaratezel]

[alaratezel]

8,19,38,69

08: Played any sports?

basketball, volleyball & darts.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

to change something in my life? no, probably not. but go back in general? fuck yeah. take me back to the 1920′s or the 1960′s so i could be one of those flower kids.

38: Is this year the best year of your life? 

tbd, the year isn’t over yet.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

i do. and i believe that it’s not always romantic. you can find a soulmate in a friend. 

[alaratezel]

BEEP (For Celeste)

18. A drunk text @cmaddox

text: yoooooo cellphone, ily text: noT bc i’m drunk text: which i aaaam text: but bcccccccc you arE amazING n u taught med how to cook sO love u 

[alaratezel]

@lutezel

[alaratezel]

last night a guy said to me “you are very, very pretty” and i said “i know” and he said like patronisingly “you KNOW?” and i said “you think you’re the first person to ever compliment me?” and he didn’t know where to go from there

[alaratezel]

andreashaw​:

The one thing Andrea hated about her job, was the prank calls at night. She was on a night shift, which she asked for, just because she wanted to have some peace and quiet and didn’t want to be at home. A change of space, which evidently was not a change, as the PD was her second home. But it was Friday night, and the prank calls just kept coming in. Most of them she could excuse, and grunt at the teenagers who couldn’t think of a better way to spend their night, but some she had to check out. It was the moral thing, and while some intended to be funny - others were not so much. Which was why she was now walking along the streets, looking for any action which would deem dangerous for someone. As the last call, she got was the fact that there was some suspicious activity going on, and the person suspected it could have been a killer. The police who were on duty went to check another location, but she was here.

It didn’t take long to spot the familiar girl admiring her piece work. This wasn’t the first time and nor would it have been the last. “That’s quite something.” She simply said as the girl turned around. Though she never was an art major, and she could hardly draw stick figures, she could appreciate it. While what Alara had done was the disruption of property, and really should have chosen a place less public, she could appreciate the beauty of the piece. “I’m doing my job, don’t know about you.” She grinned, still keeping her eyes on the three angels. They were beautiful and there was so much more meaning behind it, but Andy didn’t want to analyze it, knowing full well she’d have to look into her own soul, her own thoughts to decide what it meant for her.  “Come on, pack it up, and leave that poor wall alone. You know by now how this is going to go. Someone is going to have to come in and clean it.” It was a sad truth. But maybe with this one, they’d make an exception? She wasn’t too sure. “And when I call this in you really shouldn’t be here. You’re a walking criminal. From the paint on your hands to that look you have for your piece. Even an untrained eye will see what you’ve done. I suggest a shower and bedtime.”

Her eyes narrowed instantly, this woman like the actual vision of a thorn in her side. Which made it very confusing when she kept on letting her off with these things. Naturally she was always grateful, but it only made her suspicious. Like one day those kind gestures would be over, or even worse, considered favours for something she decided she wanted repaying for. Sad, but that’s how her analytic, pessimistic mind worked, always sceptical of those who did her a kindness. “I’m walking a public street admiring the views,” there’s a shrug, a glimmer of a smirk that washes over her features. It’s there because the lie isn’t eve attempted to sound convincing, they both knew what she was doing here. “Pack what up?” Alara frowned, twisting her body to glance around like she was looking for something. Now thankful she did in-fact, already pack up before Andrea arrived. “What? Clean it? Not unless you report it.” She sounds a little snippy but it’s mostly just a spurt of bitterness, defensive over the thing she’s just spent hours working on. “Who even cares if there’s some paint on the side of a building? This town has bigger problems.” Once the paint on her hands is openly addressed, she huffs and puts them on her hips, not about to leave without a bit of a verbal fight. 

“Call me whatever you want, I think criminal is a little harsh, but sure,” with an eye roll, she turns to look back at the mural and stays quiet for a few seconds. Needed seconds for her to reign in her own attitude. Extending a hand between the two smaller angels and then down to the initials drawn underneath, she shrugged a shoulder. “What you call graffiti I call art." And it would go unspoken, but sometimes art was the only way she felt she could express herself. Nobody would know she did it, but people would walk by and maybe, just maybe, they’d notice the initials were those of Martin and Katerina, and they’d take a moment to remember them. Alara hadn’t known them personally but two people she cared about very much did, which made their deaths impact her on an emotional level she wasn’t sure how to express with words. She always had something like a sad air around her, silent so it was. Most people thought she didn’t care about anything but the truth was, she cared a lot. She felt things so purely that sometimes it suffocated her - seeing people she loved sad or hurt made her incredibly unsettled. “You do what you gotta do, Detective. I’m sure the real crimes can wait a minute while you waste a minute filing a report on some... graffiti.”

[alaratezel]

[alaratezel]

@cjmonroe

[alaratezel]

[alaratezel]

lutezel​:

“Are you calling me dangly and dorky?” Lu said, her eyes still playfully narrowed at her older sister. “But trust me, okay? Zeke and I definitely don’t see each other as that. I mean, this is the guy I farted on once… or, um, well… I think my total has now reached five, but who’s counting, you know?” Lu asked, letting out a laugh before widening her eyes at her sister’s volume upon saying the word ‘sex’. Truthfully, it wasn’t actually taboo but as someone who had only experienced it with one person and as someone who hadn’t really experienced it in years, she somehow felt like some born again virgin, just stumbling in a world that was obsessed with hook up culture. “I’ll have you know that Damian was the best–” Lu lowered her voice yet again. “–sex I ever had in my life, but he’s also the only I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t know, Alara. I don’t think the whole one night stand and flings culture is really my style. You know how I made out with that one guy at Rendezvous and I felt like I fell in love with for a little bit for, like, two days after that? Yeah, and besides, I think I have to… really know someone and be comfortable with them before I even think about taking my clothes off, you know? You remember how long Damian had to wait until we… did it,” Lu paused as she showed her sister a pointed look.  

“I mean… okay, I can’t lie. I sometimes do… miss it, I… I guess but since I’m not in a loving, committed relationship right now, then I guess I’m just going to have to keep missing it because that’s not gonna happen any time soon. It’s not the do-all end-all, though! I mean, I’m good with just making out with someone!” She admitted before letting out an embarrassed laugh. She knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about but it was still something she wasn’t used to talking about so candidly. “What? No! By ‘h word’, I meant horny, Alara!” Lu immediately whispered fiercely to her sister before letting out a loud laugh. “Sometimes, I have no idea how we’re sisters,” she added in between her laughs before turning somber at her sister’s question. Granted, she was used to seeing a lot of blood and some really grizzly and nasty things, but every time a murder – not just a death – happened in this town, she always felt this insatiable and determined need to have to find the answers. Science had to be on their side on this one, but it’s pretty hard when there’s not a lot to go by. “I’m… good, honestly. Times like this I’m kinda happy I’m not living alone, you know? I’m at the lab every single day but there’s not really anything anyone can do when there’s nothing to go by. No hairs, no other DNA to trace, not even a measly footprint. It’s like a ghost did this,” Lu murmured with a heavy sigh. “I don’t want to talk about work right now, though. How are you doing?”

“Yeah, course I am. Because you are both those things.” She poked out her tongue, naturally she was only joking. She was only ever truly kind when the mood took her but she knew ( or more like, hoped ) Ayda knew just how beautiful she was. “Ohhh, yeah alright, now it makes sense. Farting on a guy is a real mood killer.” She couldn’t help but laugh, even more so when she started confessing about Damien. “Yeah? But you’ve got no-one to compare him to so how would you know unless you ohh--” there was a dramatic, mortifying twist in her tone to make it sound a little like a moan, which she didn’t give the slightest care if anyone else heard. It was all worth it just to see Ayda’s cheeks turn red. “So what you’re really saying is I need to sign you up to a dating app, or push you through the doors of a speed dating club? My point is you need to get back out there, find yourself a man. Or a woman, I whatever tickles your pickle.” She nodded. “I mean, you could always just have a venture on a sex toy site and order some things. I can give you the money. I mean I could give you tips on what to order too but maybe that’s a step too far even for me.” Alara shrugged, a solid smirk of pure mischief sat on her lips.

“Okay, okay,” she held a hand up and gave a little nod along with one of her more rare, genuine smiles. “I can respect that.” And believe it or not, she did. She liked that her sister thought that way, wanted to be in love with someone who appreciated her, it was pure, innocent, almost. Actually, something she envied along with being something she’d fight tooth and nail to protect. No man, woman or questionable human would ever hurt her if she had a say in it. “Oh! Horny! Okay, well-- Ok, that does make more sense,” she scoffs out a laugh and exaggerates a lift and drop in her shoulders. “I’m always horny.” Overshare, but surely not surprising that she said it with ease. “That’s ‘cos we’re not. You were adopted. Dropped off by a dying nun on our doorstep, actually. Said you were the reborn mother mary’s love child with a man so holy his shit shone bright.” She grinned, bursting into a laugh. Picking at the food that arrived, she sighed quietly. “Yeah, I’m glad you don’t live alone too.” She’d admit. Her sisters safety was always something she cared about the most. She was going to raise a brow and question how the fuck they hadn’t found anything, but she didn’t, not when she said she didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m fine. You know me, always am.” Except when she wasn’t, but she’d worked hard and for years to perfect the perfect poker face.