alaskascottxo

[alaskascottxo]

[alaskascottxo]

do you miss Alaska?

so so much i miss everyone 

[alaskascottxo]

bring back exchange PLEASE!!

[alaskascottxo]

PLEASE BRING BACK THE EXCHANGE

i logged on today to find loads of questions like this in my inbox and i am shook???? its been FOUR years (actually that could be a lie i have no idea how long its been???? but its been A LONG TIME) since we shut and people still think about this rp??? this makes my heart so happy but also hurt a lot at the same time my goodness i-

[alaskascottxo]

[alaskascottxo]

[alaskascottxo]

get to know me meme (32/40) friendships → meredith and cristina (grey’s anatomy) “You’re my sister. You’re my family. You’re all I’ve got.”

[alaskascottxo]

[alaskascottxo]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @JACEISWRIGHT: uploaded a new photo.

Is it @alaskascottxo‘s birthday or Lacey’s? We’ll never know #tryingnottoeatthecake #donttellizzyisaidthat 

↳ 54 LIKES, 6 COMMENTS:

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[alaskascottxo]

“She wears strength and darkness equally well, the girl has always been half goddess, half hell.” 

[alaskascottxo]

I MISS EXCHANGE AND ALL THE CHARACTERS AND ALL OF U GUYS SO MUCH CAN WE BRING IT BACK CAN WE IS THAT ALLOWED

[alaskascottxo]

a future so bright it could blind you // alaska & ?

The sun sat low in the sky yet those who swayed beneath it had HIGH spirits, and though the day was almost at its end the night was still very much young. A beach crowded with tuxedos & gowns, laughter & light, so very different to what the air had been filled with all those times before when this group had last been all together ( especially at a parties like this one ). One would never think it true that so many STORMS had raged and fought beneath all those lit up faces, clinking their glasses, dancing beneath the mood. And how strange it was to know, looking at them now - stronger, healthier, happier, than she had ever known them to be - that they had all once been made so weak that the lightening had came so close to striking them d o w n, the rain so nearly drowning them. Yet here they stood. GONE was the looming threats of two sisters, the disaster round every corner, the heart break waiting within the shadows. The only thing left of what they had once knew, what they had all lived through, was their strength. their bond. their family. 

FAMILY. there was so much more family now. Upon the sand, so many kids played, so many little versions of them all running around. And among them was a WOMAN dressed in all white, with a light so bright within her eyes that not even the darkest depths of the ocean beside her could not be touched by it - a light she had been so certain was gone for good. Hands wrapped around a little blonde girl as they ran, who was not so little any more, and it pulled them both to a halt & down, bodies connecting with sand, giggles filling the air the way it had always done so many years ago when the blonde was but a toddler. After a few minutes or so of more laughter, of secret words and jokes whispered between the two, and a parting kiss on the cheek from Lacey, the pair were soon up, Lacey running to catch up with her new friends, passing her mother one last backward glance with a wide grin and a blown kiss as she did so; and Alaska hoisting her dress up slightly and rejoining the rest of her wedding party scattered beneath the fairy lights on the deck with a grin of her own as she thought about how far she had come. “I’m goddamn fucking married,” she murmured to herself as she took a sip of her wine, and it was if it had only just hit her - or maybe it was the alcohol. Alaska had become very much a lightweight since she had pretty much stopped drinking. “I’m married,” she said again, a little louder, a little prouder, “holy shit I’m married, I’m actually fucking married. I’m married!” At this point the blushing bride was practically screaming, excitement bursting out of her like a kid on christmas morning as he grabbed the nearest person, practically bouncing on them, “I’m married!”

(also this be what alaska’s wedding dress looks like incase u r wondering)

[alaskascottxo]

@laskalily: happy valentines day to my little miracles. i fall more inlove with you everyday. 

[alaskascottxo]

And though Milly wasn’t always entirely appropriate… She was always there.

[alaskascottxo]

Nothing but the soft hum from the tv, interrupted by a distant cry a handful of times, had surrounded the pair for most of the night. Though Alaska had not noticed the silence in the air, utterly oblivious to how not even a mere word had been uttered between them in hours. But this state of detachment to her surroundings was nothing new to Alaska, she had been struggling for awhile now with her concentration. It was almost as if she was lost, constantly lingering in a land that lay half way between reality and the depths of her quickly darkening thoughts. As though the young woman was suffering from a lack of connection to the real world. But the sound of Hunter’s voice so close to her began to slowly bring her further from her mind that was always so loud, always twisting and turning and never leaving her be, and back into the almost soundless room. 

Eventually, Alaska’s eyes flicked in her husbands direction, but it was almost as though she was looking through him - or as if, for only a moment, she did not recognize him. Then after a minute or so brown orbs were focusing, becoming familiar with the face in front of her, and she was whispering “I don’t feel like myself.” Though, that wasn’t completely true, she did feel like herself, just not the self she had been for the past few years. Not the self that was content, the one she had grown to like. Rather, she felt like her ten year old self, crying and screaming and begging for her sister. For her father. Or the sixteen year old, who would climb through a boys window each night, drunk and disgusted, trying so desperately to wrap herself up in him until she could no longer feel all of their hands, all of her loneliness. Or the nineteen year old, watching her newborn baby fight for her life. Or the twenty year old, attending her best friends funeral. Destroying each relationship she had clung so tightly to. Losing the man she loved, over and over. Being told she was dying. And all of things, all of those versions of herself, had one thing in common; darkness. It had sat on her shoulder, held her hand, smothered her. A darkness that had followed her round since she could remember, one she had become so sure she had shook off, had becoming crawling back. Seeping through the cracks in the ceiling and beneath the doors, covering her, drowning her. Now, however, she was left without the only mechanisms she had ever used to deal with - the partying, the alcohol, the sex. Alaska was defenseless, almost helpless, to this sadness she felt. And it was pulling her out of bed each night, nauseating her, leaving her irritable, exhausted, terrified.

“I just.. I feel so... so empty,” the words felt wrong to even think, like acid in her mouth and as they dripped out she was terrified they would burn through Hunter too, “I can’t explain it.” She didn’t want to explain it. The bits and pieces she had explained to her midwife had resulted in the word ‘post-natal depression’ floating about, to which she had zoned out, refusing to even entertain the idea. How could she possibly be depressed? Against all odds, she had married the man she had spent so long fighting for. They had made it. And with their marriage, came their miracle, their little Jacob. And Lacey’s laughter still made Alaska’s heart flutter as much as it had done the first time she heard it. She had everything she ever wanted, she should not be unhappy. “It’s just always so dark. I shouldn’t feel like this. I don’t want to feel like this.” Nervous fingers fiddled with the wedding ring upon her finger, worried to say any more. “Why don’t I feel like I belong here?” she shook her head, unable to look Hunter in the eye, “It all feels so distant, so foreign. You feel so foreign. It doesn’t make sense.. I don’t make sense any more.”

us against the world // halaska

It was 11:23pm and Jacob had already woken up three times since being put to bed. He was so tiny, helpless, fragile… Hunter didn’t mind fending to his every possible need. It was as though he’d been given a second chance by fate, and he wasn’t willing to screw it up this time. Plus, a lot had changed. There was a job, there was a marriage, there was a family… Everything had panned out perfectly.

Excluding the fact, that is, that Alaska seemed to be slowly deteriorating. She seemed to be losing herself, yet Hunter couldn’t do anything to help. He was afraid of confronting her about what he saw in case it made her worse - or in case there was absolutely nothing wrong. It was as though he was in a constant battle within his own mind to point it out or not; and this made everything Alaska did or said much more elevated.

“He’s asleep.” Hunter whispered upon walking back into the living room. He had work early, but Alaska had yet to go to bed. He wasn’t an up-tight husband, but the thought of leaving her by herself at ridiculous times of the night worried him more than anything, so he tried his best to be there for her as much as he could - especially as he was out all day most days. This didn’t stop Hunter from waking up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, though. “God, we’re so lucky Lace sleeps like a brick. Well, I think she’s the lucky one. It certainly wouldn’t be ideal with her getting no sleep.”

Sighing, Hunter rested back on the sofa, putting both his feet up. The room was full of silence, although the voices on the TV attempted to rid the daunting nothingness. It failed. Hunter could hear the potential cry from Jacob looming, and he could see the lifeless look on Alaska’s face. She definitely was done in. Hunter knew Alaska enough to know she wasn’t okay. So after a daring five minutes of staring aimlessly at the television screen - sitting at other ends of the sofa - he caved.

“Hey, you.” He smiled, moving himself closer to the brunette. It was a shame to say they hadn’t been intimate in a while either. But Hunter just put that down to tiredness and the fact that Alaska hadn’t long ago given birth. “This may seem really out of the blue, but… Are you okay? I mean, be honest with me… You don’t seem yourself at all lately and it worries me. Tell me if I’m overreacting… But tell me if I’m not. Because I know you and I feel like this isn’t exactly you you.”

[alaskascottxo]

@laskalily: ❤️

[alaskascottxo]

@laskalily: its been one hell of a ride, exchange. thanks for making the past two years simultaneously the best and worst of my life. thanks for teaching me the importance of family, and for giving me one long before i had one of my own.  heres to the rest of our lives. see yaaaaaaa x