alazyphannie - Tumblr blog

[alazyphannie]

i suffer from a disease called "not wanting to work", and it's incurable

[alazyphannie]

Dan and Phil attempting exercise.

[alazyphannie]

Quarantine Asks: Questions You Usually Wouldn’t Think of Asking But You’re Bored AF

Animated character that was your gay awakening?

Grilled cheese or PB&J?

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink?

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own?

Top three cuisines?

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)?

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?

Look up. What’s directly across from you?

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general?

Preferred way to spend a rainy day?

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted?

Brunch or midnight snacks?

Favorite mug you own

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as?

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)

Fruity or herbal teas?

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying?

Do you match your socks?

Have you ever been horseback riding?

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc)

Have you ever been to jail?

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?

Puzzles?

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore?

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat?

Where could someone find you in a museum?

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to?

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds?

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be?

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs?

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go?

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with

Lakes, rivers, or oceans?

Favorite mid-2000s song

How do you dress when you’re home alone?

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)?

Knives or swords?

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?

Name a classic Vine

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?

How do you top your ice cream?

Do you like Jello?

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did?

How are you at climbing trees?

[alazyphannie]

requested by anonymous

[alazyphannie]

the void boi

dnp toilet roll art (#10 in the series)

[alazyphannie]

date night circa 2011

[alazyphannie]

It can go all the way down to the county level, which is kinda crazy.

[alazyphannie]

Go!

[alazyphannie]

actual sentences that came out of dan and phil’s mouths while playing golf with friends:

spank me with a plank and call me poopy susan

you absolute twit nipple

tip tip m’golf

where the effing donkey nuts is the holerino

what the absolute logswing is happening over here

are you effing my fucking butt

i’m gonna hop over your mum’s wall and ruin her flowers

are you creaming on my cake

the gap has widened like phil pushed an egg out

knee deep in that spider butt juice

phil doesn’t like to whack it and see what happens. he likes to plan his whacks

that was straight in the hole. damn, that’s like 100% chance of pregnancy

shamu shamalam m night ding dong

wank wank fuck shit

we’re already freaking out inside each other

are you stroking my yoke

my lovely philly lumps, check ‘em out

shit fucking wank fuck

that was the most erotic math based experience i’ve ever had

i would not trust that with a barge pole

non gender specific caddy gimp

we’re climbing inside the pyramid vagina

are you allowed to wear a santa hat on a golf course or are they all very trim and proper about that with their dress codes and their gentleman’s clubs and their secret basements

come on, scoop it in, yeah, edge it

you need to go faster because we’ve committed to fucking! this! golf! hole!

i’ve already started a family in that hole

four holes, two dudes... i’d say we’re up for the challenge

they’re not a part of their body they’re just strap-ons

boing boing shit, oingo boingo i’m a dick

i guess some people are skilled booty raiders and some people are just losers

[alazyphannie]

the fact the the most problematic thing Dan has done in a long time is talk about how he doesn’t think people are actually baking is funny but also im still offended

[alazyphannie]

‪I just uploaded Dan’s bit from youtube originals. So if you fancy some of Dan’s hot takes or his lovely striped jumper you can rewatch all you want here‬

[alazyphannie]

and i’m gonna give making bread an “f”

[alazyphannie]

Time’s Tide

chapter thirteen (40,7k words)

e | 1980s au | getting together | closeted character | internalised homophobia | angst | happy ending

summary: All men have secrets, and Phil won’t let his own be known. But even in 1984’s Manchester there is another person that understands.

chapter song: Shakespeare’s Sister by The Smiths [fic playlist]

read this chapter | start from the beginning

[alazyphannie]

[alazyphannie]

undefined

phil, in the softest, most endearing voice ever: ‘cause it was changing

dan: <3 shut <3 up <3 you <3 idiot <3

rediscovering cute/funny moments while dnp are on hiatus [2/?]

[alazyphannie]

have you ever wondered how cool you really are? well now here’s a quiz for it, it’d be cool if you took it and put your results in the tags!!

[alazyphannie]

i tag @ahhhthefeels​ @possumdnp​ because i dont know you two that well but thought why not. also literally anyone that wants to do this you can 

hey how about make yourself with this picrew and tag some mutuals

i’ll start :^)

and i’ll tag @kazz @fair-y-child @tenthprinceofhell @qlecs @sarcasticmalecfan @jazzkaurtheglorious