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OVERWHELMED WITH GRATITUDE. so thankful to breathe this air and feel this sun. DANG what a blessing it is to be alive

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why would you ever outsource fun to chatgpt? are you stupid? you can make mediocre shit by yourself too.

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I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great

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Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

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A knight and his liege who gas each other up to the point that it's nauseating for bystanders.

"I am your blade, my prince."

"And what a blade you are! Sharp, sturdy, reliable–"

"As ever, I am only as my liege wills me."

"–undefeated in combat–"

"Honorable combat fought in your good name."

"–and there's a certain glow about you when properly maintained." Kicking his feet. "What's your secret?"

"Total unyielding loyalty to the sun made manifest on earth."

"Oh, you! They must teach poetry in knight school."

"Any poetry born from my unworthy lips is but the flutter of the wings of my soul in its tireless search for your regard."

"Search no further! You and your bewinged soul have only the highest of my regard."

I mean, it clears taverns.

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i like them

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Get to the airship!!

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Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta... I gotta get out of here.

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Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

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Ecliptor sketch

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I cannot stand the parodies of modern major general, they're overdone and simply not as good as the original. They've done them about everything, whatever topic, big or small.

And when i notice one of them my eyes will always start to roll.

The diction's always slurry when they rush the complicated words, and adding many fricatives will turn it so cacophonous. The slanted rhymes are silly and they keep just making more and more, please someone stop the parodies of modern major general.

The scanning of the lyrics in the meter is unbearable, they emphazise the syllables in ways that are untenable, in short in matters musical, prosodic and ephemeral, i cannot stand the parodies of modern major general!

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i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking

what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp

like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have

like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious

now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude 

and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude 

and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker

and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey 

so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?

this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! 

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playing MTG with people who have been in the game for like 20 years is so insufferable sometimes

every turn they're like "I play Cock Goblin of Guzzleberg" and everyone else at the table nods and goes "ah yes of course, the Cock Goblin, classic" and doesn't explain.

so I'm like okay. what does that do. and they go "well it has a Guzzler effect" and I'm like okay great what the FUCK is a Guzzler Effect™

and then after like 10 minutes of trying to get them to explain, eventually I figure out that there was a card called Guzzler Greebling that was only printed ONCE in 1998, and its text was "when this creature ETBs, everyone at the table has to suck your dick" and this card got so popular in Standard at the time that now all effects that involve dick-sucking are called "Guzzlers" by the players

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Unreliable narrators are one hell of an idea. You can just write whatever, and if a reader points out "hey the way this scene happened should not be physically possible if it's done the way this character described it", you can just be like "yeah I don't trust that fucker either."

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Learning Magic the Gathering from my partner has been kinda hilarious cuz I find a lot of the cards will be either:

Treznor, the Eternal Flame: *3 paragraphs of text* -> Widely maligned, considered basically useless

Grey Rock: adds 2 mana -> $14,000 per copy, outlawed in 12 countries

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a tradition that continues to this day