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alexlex2000-blog · 2 years ago

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Warning: long story. It might be a TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read) case for many. I have tried to highlight all the important moments, though, so I hope it helps.

Actually, there is a history to my practice which I think I understand relatively well. Everyone's spirituality has a history. Mine is as follows.

Until 2015 I was not very spiritual: my mind was about other things entirely, I was young and interested only in video games, some sciences, movies et cetera. I knew quite a few Greek myths (the Persephone might be my favourite) and knew some Gods were demonised for no reason (poor Hades), I knew about some deities from the Ancient Egyptian pantheon, but I never paid enough attention. But even then I felt certain curiosity about the statue of Anubis my family has brought from Egypt two years after I was born. I think it is a piece of the puzzle.

Then I have become true to my faith I was Christened into after birth and studied the Orthodox Christian spirituality. Until the end of 2022 it was my breath, my life and my wisdom. Most of my diligence was actually invested into studying theology and ethics: what are the Angels, Their ranks, what is Their purpose, how some of Them have become daemons later and what are the sins, why they are considered to be sins, what the Saints say about it all: that sort of knowledge. I never was very devout in practice, and only sometimes, while desperately praying, I could feel some comforting and reassuring presence. Back then I used to think it was God's grace, and I still think so, but in a different way. This might be a piece of the puzzle too.

In the beginning of 2023, I was suffering some doubts about my faith: these come and go when you do something spiritual. Before that I would just push them into the back of my mind, tell myself "if God does not want me to know something, probably it's for the best" and calm my sentimental volcano for another period. This time, however, I went to Church and asked the priest, one I respect (even now, because he is wise and honest within his confession), and basically he told me: "You know much more than other Orthodox Christians know, it is worthy, but to these questions I answer with more questions".

Soon after that I have left the Orthodox Church and decided to research other confessions. I have studied Arabic language and culture in the University and, as a theologian, I studied different branches of Christianity and Islam pretty well, so I was not interested in these systems. I have studied magic and invocation, but, either these were "bad teachers" or I misunderstood something, I could not look at it with anything but pity and aversion. You believe you may invoke any celestial or hellish being, any elemental or spirit, and you "work with them" to change something in your life which you could change naturally all by yourself? You could learn from them and probably experience enlightening and most pleasant socialisation with intelligent beings which are not humans, yet you choose to use this for something so mundane? Not my cup of tea, I beg your forgiveness. Maybe, I am wrong, maybe, I was misguided, but as I understand it, magic should be used more elegantly and for higher purposes then "attracting good into your life" and "making somebody else's life miserable risking your karma striking you into the ground for doing so".

Anyway, I have decided to better understand Buddhism, Hinduism and Yoga next. I have found some gurus and masters I respect (once again — even now. I might not agree with everything they believe, but I feel they are honest, diligent, kind and helpful persons who wish to teach those who seek their advice) and enjoyed studying. Reincarnation theories, divine and hellish worlds, the principle of "as above — so below", the chakras and different bodies, techniques of prana (chi, ki, ka, life energy) manipulation and astral projections, meditation — it all was a pleasant breath of fresh air for me. So I have practised this for some time, basically half a year. There were some positive changes, I believe, but still I felt being stagnant and incomplete, not truly happy.

While studying the Yoga and other adjacent systems (Actually, for Yoga any system is adjacent, it is very compatible, but I refer to Hinduism and Buddhism), I have studied the Ancient Egyptian mythology better. I took interest in Gods and events that were very creative and poetic. And then, I suddenly remembered the statue of Anubis. Some time passes: I visit my brother's house, and there, without looking for it directly, I somehow find it. As expected, it was collecting dust on a shelf, neglected and forgotten. I have asked permission and brought it home. A week passes, and finally, the story of my Kemetic practice starts for real.

I have heard about the Wiccan practices sometime, read a book "I am a Priest" or something like that, than forgot about it. But when I have recovered the statue of Anubis, I have revisited this research, but this time I have walked a different path. I have learnt Anubis is also called Anpu, Anup, Yinepu, and decided to call him Anpu, it felt more natural. Actually, I try the same with all Deities, especially after reading about Djehuty being a bit unpleasant with being called "Thoth". Some YouTube videos, those by LeafyWitch (very useful and inspiring, I thank her deeply) and LunarWitch (I have come to understand there is some truth to them, but some of my UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis) contradicts what he says. He has my respect, but I think he has misunderstood Anpu in some moments. For example, Anpu does not "hate Sutekh", all Netjeru (Gods) are in harmony, after all) were helpful. Then I have discovered the subreddit Kemetic, and it is very useful too. So, on Thursday, August the 10th, I have gotten the book "Eternal Egypt" by Richard J. Reidy (great both for theory and practice, I recommend it strongly) and my practice has begun.

This day, I offered Anpu quite some actions. I have cleaned my place, set up a simple altar for him. I have taken a bath, washed myself, wore clean clothes and conducted my first, messy, yet sincere offering ritual.

I cannot describe what I felt back then in detail, I am sorry for it before myself and the others, but I have four words. "Reassuring and comforting presence". After the ritual I have been concentrated and mindful for a few days. I felt happy and devout, complete. I started doing my rituals daily, studying utterances and actions better and performing them better each time. I was set on becoming better for myself, the people, Anpu, the Netjeru and the Universe. This is my goal even now.

My practices now involve: making offering rituals as often as I can (ideally twice a day, in the morning and in the evening. For some time I maintained this practice, but recently it was a mess, so I had to become less consistent. I know Anpu understands) with bread (sometimes other food) and water (for Anpu I sometimes add dark beer and dark chocolate), candles (for Anpu — black ones) and incense (for any Netjer (God)/Netjeret (Goddess) — frankincense, Anpu enjoys Egyptian Musk), going to the graveyard and taking care of the graves there (if these are not of your relatives — make sure to not scare people by tending to random graves without asking permission first, though) and trying my best to become better, study something new about the Netjeru and Gods in general, being useful and helpful to myself, the people around me, and, hopefully, to the Gods and the Universe.

So, if you are interested in Kemetic practices or any practices really, here is my advice: research it, study it, and try it. If trying it does not hurt you or make you uncomfortable in a vile way, keep experimenting and keep concentrated and determined. Sincerety and diligence never stay unnoticed. Even if the magnanimous Netjeru (Gods) are not answering you immediately, remember: they accept your offerings and your devotion might make them warm up to you and put a slight smile on their faces. Stay patient, and this all will be rewarded. If not immediately by the Netjeru you worship, then first by the Universe, Atum, Amun and Ra, and then, given time and practice, by them.This is my credo as of now. I hope this helps somebody.

To Kemetic Devotees!

(And anyone else who'd like to chime in!)

How did your relationship with your deities start out? How has it evolved since then?

For myself, I started out pretty insecure in my practice. I was still in the broom closet, so there wasn't much I could do in way of worship and offerings at first.

As time went on, I started to grow a lot more confident in my skills, and also became more open with my practice when I finally started to open up with my deities as well.

#Spirituality #Kemetic #Kemeticism #Spiritual Path #Anpu #Anubis #Dua Netjeru #Dua Anpu #Dua Djehuty

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