alexshieldd

[alexshieldd]

Hard Roads Worth Taking

Prologue: Wits End is a Scary Place

Sebastian x M!Farmer

CW: angst, alcohol use, depictions of mental illness (PTSD and Depression; specifically emergency services related), mentions of death of a loved one, Alex being a general cynical loser. This is mostly just introducing my Farmer OC as a guy. It's pretty important for the story, but note the lack of Sebastian </3

The bus ride to the farm felt too long for Alex’s comfort. The obnoxious people, the smell of sweat and cigarettes clinging to the worn patterned seats. There wasn’t much on this bus route, simply the various small towns between Grampleton and Zuzu City. The emptiness passes by through slightly tinted panes, bumps clinking the rims of Alex’s glasses against the surface as he just stares off. It’s off putting how little there is here when you’re used to so much at once.

“Too unstable.” That’s what Zuzu EMS said to him, right before sacking him and leaving him to dry. He had just gotten into Paramedic school, was just starting his way up to the top, to really helping people. Apparently his brain had other ideas. That’s all it took for them to turn their backs on nine years of undying loyalty, his entire adult life. It didn’t matter, he told himself. Alex knew he was the peak example of fucking put-togetheredness, he always had been. They were just caught up in the new post-traumatic-whatever panic every other bastard on the planet was. He was fine, they had to be the dysfunctional ones. 

Alex takes a deep breath, his train of thought momentarily paused as the bus lurches forward. PELICAN TOWN. He’s the only one who gets out at the small patch of grass surrounded by trees on either side. The dirt path in front is overgrown, opposite the pavement road the bus disappears down. The trees are suddenly quiet, an unnerving welcome to someone used to the hustle and bustle of city life.

Alex quickly walked away, making his way down the dirt path towards the farm. He remembered it well enough, and the landscape had remained mostly the same in the five or so years since Papaw passed. Even then, he only came through to see the place before he had to be back at work. On autopilot, another day in years of nothing.

Before he can get too lost, the farmhouse and its wild greenery comes into view. The small cabin is duller than he remembers, the finish on the wood almost completely eroded by the elements and leaving it a dead gray. There were no crops or other signs of a true “farm” like there had been, only the ruins of the old greenhouse in the distance. Years of neglect had taken its toll, and Alex has to push down the guilt he feels emanating from his gut. Papaw would have had his ass if he saw his pride and joy so cracked and broken. 

Standing on the front porch is an older man with a giant mustache, Mayor Lewis if he remembers correctly. He’s older, like the kind that’ll talk your head off for hours longer than needed. Beside him is an unfamiliar redheaded woman, middle aged with a kind smile and graying ginger hair. Lewis speaks first, voice bright and performative that makes Alex already dread the interaction.

“Farmer Alex! It’s wonderful to see you here again. Your grandfather would be a happy man.” He offers out a hand as Alex steps onto the porch, taller than either of them with a straight face. He takes the man's hand and shakes it but nothing else. “This is Robin, our local carpenter. I went ahead and had her fix some of the cracks and leaks on the place before you came. A farm could bring a lot of opportunities for the valley!”

Alex simply hums and nods, forcing a small smile. Robin softens, something Alex notices but doesn’t want to dwell on. He hates when people can seem to tell how fucked up he is. Her eyes are insightful and wise, a mama bird ready to take someone under her wing. Not that he needed it of course. “Yeah… thanks. Place still looks a little run down though. Makes sense though, ain’t nobody here to care for it.”

Lewis laughs, fake and boisterous which causes his jaw to clench slightly. It’s obnoxious at minimum, irritating at worst. Robin takes over at that, shaking her head and speaking kindly. Its the motherly type of tone, reassuring. “Well yes, but I’m sure with some hard work and dedication, you’ll have it in spick span shape for harvest in no time! I know the town is sure excited to meet you, we don’t get new folks in town very often. Far out and all. We really won’t keep you long, but there’s some tools and a seed packet in the chest in there too, to get you started.”

He manages to soften slightly, giving her a polite nod. She seemed more genuine than the Mayor, something that the new farmer can admire.  “Well, thank you ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet yah. I think I remember hearin’ about your shop openin’ up on the mountain on a visit with Papaw, so it’s nice to know a neighbor.”

She chuckles and smiles wider, patting Alex’s shoulder tenderly. It took everything in him to keep from flinching at the touch but he succeeded, her hand dropping just a moment later. “Yes, he spoke very fondly of you. You look just like him too.” She crosses her arms and shakes her head, sighing. “How the time flies. He was a good man…” She trails off before refocusing on the conversation at hand and Alex’s face falters into less of a smile. The memory of his grandfather was bittersweet, filled with regret of how distant he had become in those last years. The city and medicine had consumed his life, leaving little left to spend with the ailing man. He would be disappointed, in that quiet tired way that he tended to be. 

“Well, we’ll leave yah to it!” Lewis says, obviously trying to raise his spirits. Poor timing. Alex’s face goes neutral again, closing back off to the kindness. They both start to make their retreat, Robin’s smile soft once again. “Call one of us for any emergencies, alright? It’s easy to get lost in these woods. Can’t have you disappearing on us!” 

Alex just blinks before turning his back, already unlocking the door to avoid dragging this on any longer. He opens the old door, the inside covered in a layer of dust.. A wooden bed with a quilt and pillow, a small television, dresser, and rug. Nowhere to cook really, but there was electricity at least. He figured he could figure out how to put a kitchen in once some of the land was cleared. Papaw tended to camp or eat in town, but the thought of having to interact with the townsfolk so often made his mood sour. Small towns equaled gossip, and that was the one thing he hoped to avoid. He wasn’t interested in being gawked at like an animal in a cage. Yeah, Farmer Oak’s grandson moved back in from the city after disappearing for years. Where did he go, why is he suddenly back, oh the drama! None of which were things he was particularly keen on sharing.

He sets his bags down finally, collapsing onto the thin twin sized mattress and letting out a little bit of tension in his shoulders. It was too quiet again, creeping into the edges of his mind like a blade. There was work to do, plenty of things to invest himself into to pass the time. It was something for him to hold on to and maybe keep him sane.

-

It’s five days later that Alex finally crawls his way back out of the farm and into town. There was more work even than he originally estimated, and he knew it would at least be next season that he fully cleared everything out. He’d nearly collapsed from exhaustion and barely made it to bed before having one of his worst night terrors in months. Sirens and lights, yelling, screaming, a panicked radio to a coworker and getting nothing in return. He woke up to the face of his sister burning in a building, the skin on her face melting off, slightly forming into the one of another man he couldn’t quite save. That morning he decided he needed a change of scenery and some fucking drinks, so he swallows down his reluctance and heads into the town around dusk. 

-

The air is full of patrons chattering and laughing as Alex ducks into the dark saloon through two old swinging doors. Old school, mildly out of place in such a normal town. Alex contemplated it to avoid thinking of the eyes locked on him like they’re totally avoiding staring. Sigh. Small towns. He sits down at the bar in the one open seat between two contrasting gentlemen. To the left was taller, leaner, ginger man, refined and sipping on a glass of red wine. He had this annoying smirk on his face, the kind that embodied confidence and prestige. The other was smaller and round, a beer in hand and belly to match, dark eyes already glossed over like he was half gone.

“Well, if it isn’t the farmer I’ve heard all of the chatter about.” The ginger spoke to break the silence. He was posh and foreign and mildly condescending. Alex felt his jaw twitch. “I expected you to be more metropolitan, darling. Yet already you have molded yourself to the farm life, busy busy at work I assume with how little we’ve seen you. I’m really quite surprised, Alexander. Bravo.”

Alex audibly groans at the full name, cutting him off. The fat man to his right chuckles but says nothing at all, just taking another long gulp of his cheap beer. “S’Alex. Pleasure” It comes out forced but forcibly kind. He had no real reason to be an asshole to this guy other than his general vibe. His polished mouth opens before he’s interrupted by the guy with the beer. Alex turns to get a better look, not old enough to bald but to have a few grays and wrinkles, his hoodie stained with grease. Joja Mart. Corporate ass, if he had to guess.

“Cut it out, Elliott. He just got here, he doesn’t need your nosy ass in his business.” He has a gruff city accent, words slurring from the alcohol. Elliott returns something equally hateful and snide but Alex has stopped listening. He just wants to get drunk and go home. Nodding at the blue-haired girl behind the bar and asking for a whiskey. It’s in his hand in less than a second before he downs it. 

Finally, things feel a little less overwhelming, less sharp. But his attention is caught once again as Elliott gets up with a scoff and exits the bar with the other man drunkenly laughing. His chubby hand hits the bar with each laughed, sweaty bottle grasped tightly in the other. Alex already has another drink, downing it again to avoid the lingering stares of other patrons. “Wow, is he a stuck up prick or what? Name’s Shane, by the way.” He tips his bottle towards the new farmer. “Welcome to the shitshow.”

-

Shane wasn’t the most positive company, but he was real. Blunt and unrestricted in a way Alex couldn’t help but feed into. Finally, someone else realized how fucked up the world was. It was easy to drown his feelings with this guy even if it made him feel mildly worse. It wasn’t just him lost and fucked up, so was this all there could be?

They both have way too much to baggage to drown, ending up slumped on the bar long before close. Alex can barely hear as Gus urges them both to get out with a tired sigh. Alex grunts, pushing himself up and immediately regretting it. The world is spinning, inside and outside. Emotions whirl with the windows and younger patrons still lingering in the lobby. The farmer is stumbling, running into some chairs and clattering them over before running into someone below his line of sight. He sees black hair and hears a scoff and angry yell but brushes it off.

It’s warm outside, late enough to be dark and for town to be silent. Alex can barely the see ground in front of his feet. A loose cobblestone, the steel tow of his boot catching, and he’s falling.

AO3 Link <33

AHHHH I'm so excited this is posted but I'm also really nervous. I have so many ideas for their story and I PROMISE it'll be juicy.

Love you, stay safe !!

[alexshieldd]

First, this is not what I was talking about yesterday, that is still coming (I'm waiting on my effing beta readers)

Anyways, the drawing of Seb was made a few months and Sam's is newer, but I just think it's interesting to see how quickly I'm improving.

I just started drawing again in December after years of not picking up a pen, and now I'm drawing on a regular basis and everything is coming back in giant floods.

The Seb photo was ALSO supposed to be like a Sambastian thing that I never finished and then lowkey accidentally did the first time I drew Sam. Because lwky my boy is hard to draw, I still don't entirely like the design I've made for him. I want to add more like ska punk elements but like still balance it out with "boy next door" vibes. Do you get me?

This has turned into a useless rant and I'm sorry. But fic coming soon trust :P

[alexshieldd]

Capitalism ate me guys but TRUST I WILL BE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER TOMORROW hehehehe

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prologue of my oc and sebastians fic ...

[alexshieldd]

Meeting up with sebastian at some convinience store parking lot

[alexshieldd]

they swerved and fell into a ditch right after

[alexshieldd]

Well well well look at these gay motherfuckers

I love the idea of Sam being Sebastians late night cigarette podcast... I do this with my boyfriend too I'm lwky projecting. But it's cutie see?

[alexshieldd]

Dressing the cutie in froggie merch? Indeed so ♥️

[alexshieldd]

I'm so fucking stupid

Reminissing about this movie w/ my best friend when I remembered I have a fucking cowboy OC. It took me like, half an hour. It is scribbled. Still better than half of anything I've ever drawn.

If this doesn't get tumblr rolling idk what will

[alexshieldd]

I think my life was just made substantially better

[alexshieldd]

I went through the depths of hell just to finish this

[alexshieldd]

Spring and summer, every other day I don't do sadness, not even a little bit

(this is platonic, do not tag as ship please)

[alexshieldd]

pelican town's doomed youth

[alexshieldd]

Art dump <33

I (finally) drew Sam/Sambastian stuff :P Plus my cuties Ador and Toric

This is apart of the drawing frenzy I was talking about last post lololol

[alexshieldd]

I like, can't stop drawing. Like I literally can't. I've been pumping out like 3-5 pieces everyday that I'm off and I'm not posting half of them because I'M SCARED. Anyways, that's my rant for now :P

I think later I might post some sdv hc's we'll see

[alexshieldd]

Baby Sebastian at his first flower dance... he's so miserable, he looks like a blobfish :C

[alexshieldd]

"Don't Think I Will"

My first ever fic on Tumblr <33 Just some sweet fluff w/ art at the end

“Well good mornin’, sweetheart.” 

Alex chuckles, watching a tired and slow Sebastian slither out of the dark depths of their bedroom. It was just past eight in the morning; the large space already filled with soft daylight of the farm outside and the gruffness of the farmer's slight southern twang. The smell of fresh coffee wafts from the coffee maker, a nonsense tune on the farmers tongue as he goes about his daily routine. Sebastian isn’t much of a morning person, but it’s impossible not to be in awe of someone so lively at such a time. It would be sickening if it weren’t so cute. 

The smaller man just grunts in response, still not alive enough to form words. His other half simply smiles and pours him a large mug of piping hot coffee. It’s a simple ritual, something to connect them and get them going before the day officially starts. No words were needed, not anymore, just a small smile in return before taking his first drink. It was perfect, a black dark roast grown and roasted by Alex himself on the farm. Sebastian spent a lot of time in awe of everything the man had built, how much he provides for not only himself but his community. His weary mind nearly wanders before a gentle tan arm wraps around his shoulders to pull him closer. 

“You sleep alright?” He asks, placing the softest of kisses on his raven hair. Not too much, not too early. Sunlight lit up Alex’s dark brown eyes, just a glint in their warm depths.

Sebastian nods and hums in return, leaning into the warmth of his husbands soft chest and hot mug. “Yeah, it was fine. You could’ve closed the door, though.” There’s nothing even close to anger in his voice, just the tired softness to parallel the waking outdoors on the other side of the window panes. It was moments like this they both lived for, the peace and quiet of shared company, a shared home. 

Alex’s soft laugh reverberates through Sebastian's cheek at the jab, pulling him in closer. He doesn’t mind any, if anything melting into Alex further. “Forgive me? I wanted to make sure I surprised you and couldn’t wait.” He smiles wider, looking down at him with those damn eyes again. “I had Marnie take care of the animals for the day so I could take off. It’s been a while since we just had the day together.”

Sebastian takes another drink, finally smiling for the first time that day at his husbands sweet tone. He knows the man is a hard worker, pouring his all into his job that it might as well be his life. The fact that he still thought of Sebastian, still wanted to spend time with him all these years later just made his stomach flip. “Mmmm, that’s sweet. I didn’t have much planned for the day, just to work on the game I guess. I wouldn’t mind getting back in bed though.”

In response he just gets a shake of the head and a hum, starting to hum a tune again and sway back and forth. Oh no, Sebastian already knew what this was. 

“Alex-” He tried to protest, setting down his mug on the counter. He shakes his head and sways more, starting to dance and hum louder. This was his way of getting Sebastian up for the day, dancing with him until he was giggling and dizzy. “Stooop, I wanna go back to bed.”

The humming gets louder, dragging Sebastian around the kitchen in a pseudo-waltz. Sebastian has no choice but to let him, too tired and entranced by the mans pure joy to fight back. “Let me go, this is stupid.”

Alex laughs, loud and boisterous this time. Sebastian can’t think of a time in his life where he’s heard this much laughter on a daily basis. He releases one of Sebastian's pale hands to spin him around and pull him closer once the move is done. The two of them are drunk on love and joy, their own little world of peace crafted from a farm in the middle of nowhere. Alex leans down to nuzzle their noses together, handsome as ever with a smile miles wide. 

“Don’t think I will.”

[alexshieldd]

Drawing seb again 🫶🫶😭