alichach

[alichach]

Today I decided to write this paper to express what I feel inside. Perhaps I may feel some relief, or these words may heal me from the psychological and internal pain that I am facing, and I do not reveal it to anyone. I just bear with all my strength to withstand. I came out unusually early. From home maybe an hour and a half before I have to go out to go to school🚶. Well then the reason I do this is one of my biggest fears fighting and strife 💥. This problem felt narrow and suffocated 😭 as if I no longer had oxygen in this universe 😵 and I no longer had enough energy to endure. I felt feelings of anger 🤬 and fear 😰 and tension 😱 and despite that I tried to stop myself from crying 🙁 I didn’t want that because they might ask me why. Crying does not mean weakness for me, but rather it increases my stamina and venting about everything inside me. I didn't want them to know that I was upset because they wouldn't really understand my feelings and wouldn't take them seriously. And my destination and the place I decided to go was the garden opposite my institute. It was fresh air 🍃 which refreshed me and the trees were beautiful 🌳 and varied in shapes and colors 🌴🌲🌵 and although it was a dirty little place 😹 there were empty cans and bottles on the green grass 🌱 This really spoiled the scene and on The road leading to the benches 🪑 is in this garden full of orange peels 🍊 and “Turkish hearts” some cigarettes 🚬. And when I looked at the sky I saw a breathtaking sight of its great beauty and splendor 🏞️ It was a shining sun and some beautifully shaped clouds wrapped around it 🌤️ And a few calm wind breezes 🌬️ I always say that nature always comforts me and forgets all the worries and miseries of the world and brings me back my lost breath. The place is very quiet and almost empty, and we only notice some passers-by on the road, including students 👭 and parents 🧕👩 🦰 and women are old 🧓are taking a break on benches on the other side after Their return from the market .they look tired of carrying some vegetables and food, and sometimes an old woman sits next to me and may tell me about a topic about life or the children of this generation or how exhausting it is to carry these heavy bags every day and my company with them really makes me very happy. Silence prevailed in the place, and you could only hear the footsteps of people passing by, or the sweet chirping of birds that tune into the ears of the listeners 🐦🎶. And anyone who was except for friends, family or an acquaintance comes to me in a predicament or in sadness or worries, so I try as much as I can to change a bad mood and make him happy ☺️ and he does not leave me except with a wide smile on his mouth 😄 and he may feel some reassurance perhaps and this also makes me happy a lot, but here I felt that I A magnet that attracts the negative energies of the people around me and gives them all that is positive.

But what about me?

Can I be like them, I mean to face their same negative and sad feelings, in fact I did not find anyone to comfort me in these moments. But despite that, I will know that I cannot express my feelings to anyone, but I store it for long periods of time inside me without revealing it to anyone. I couldn't find anything more to say. Let me think. No, now I feel comfortable for a while even though I know that after I leave the institute I will go home and what scares me 😨 is that they are still the same as I left them. And I will state that I am visiting a psychiatrist to help me overcome the psychological pain I feel, improve, and obtain the peace of mind that I once desired. And she is the one who told me about this way to face my fears and not take the wrong path and harm myself, which is to leave the place where I do not feel comfortable and go somewhere comfortable away from the noise and problems until they are finished. Her words were true in this respect, but what terrifies me is when night falls, where I will go, I cannot go out. But she said that there is another solution, which is to isolate in a room far from them and put music in a loud voice 🎵🥁 so that I do not listen to them, but this will not last long, as their voices still reach my ears. You were able to understand me more than any other “person” 🌟 even though it is just a piece of paper, but no matter what I write on it, you will not oppose me or judge me. Despite everything, praise be to God, I am still strong and able to endure more and nothing will prevent me from achieving my goals 😉. And last but not least, despite my inability to use a rich and eloquent lexicon, and this is because of my neglect to read books that may provide me with a sea of ​​words and sometimes I have an idea I have to write my own note. Now it's time for me to go, the bell rang and I had to enter my class...

I wrote this down on paper and rewrote it in my note on the phone so it didn't change today

Well it's a new day and now it's 16:46

And I decided to go back to the same place, I mean the park I went to yesterday, next to the institute, and things are the same as usual, the same recurring daily problems. My mood is not worse than yesterday, but I feel some annoyance 😞 and a little hungry 😅, and the park was empty I mean there were some people last day but now There are only some cats and ants under the seat I'm sitting on, collecting their goats and a white cat no and black too 🤔 is this a coincidence? And there were two friends on the other hand, or two lovers, I think.. And in the middle of the square there was a huge marble in the form of a square with the inscription: “The Square of Literature and the Book”, “Behring Al-Wadi”, Friday, November 17, “As for the year, it was not clear and located This park is next to the Municipal Palace, and in front of it is the institute where I study, and in the back is a basketball court.......

I stopped writing a little because I decided to stop and turn the other side of the park, I saw some of the people I know who study with me in the same class. I thought they might come to me and ask me why I was there and I had no desire to talk to anyone 😔 I came back to the same seat and after a few moments of sitting I saw my aunt coming on the other side of the road. She said to me: "Are you crazy? How do you sit alone in this empty place? Don't you know that this is dangerous for you? The conditions in our society have become frightening and there are many criminals and thugs." In the streets”... Her words were true somehow 😐 But I only had this shelter to comfort myself 😕.. And we decided to go home and it was about 17:18. I do not currently want to talk about the cause of the problems because this is somewhat private. This does not mean that I will not mention the reason later when I complete my paper, or I mean, can it be called a memorandum?

To meet my loved ones, I will complete the next day or when I have another chance to write.. I know that everything I have written so far is negative, but I still have hope and my condition may improve and change my writing style and mention everything that is positive and joyful for myself....

Finally I'm really sorry for any grammatical mistakes because English is not my Natal language

So I'm trying my best and using a translator .🥺🥰

[alichach]

“Your happiness is the greatest revenge against those who’d love to bring you down.”

— Unknown

[alichach]

“Good books don’t give up all their secrets at once.”

— Stephen King

[alichach]

Katara: At least we have each other.

Zuko: I love you so much.

Katara: I love you too.

Zuko: This is real.

Katara: It is.

Zuko: You're my wife.

Katara: And you're my husband.

Zuko: You married me in front of people.

Katara: I know I did, I was there.

[alichach]

“It’s very easy to lose hope, but we cannot do that. I always say that there’s a lot more good in the world than there is bad, and I continue to believe that. And that is what we must focus on.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

[alichach]

[alichach]

where's my mind?

[alichach]

“Just because you fail once, it doesn’t mean you’re going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself.”

— Marilyn Monroe

[alichach]

I am what I choose every day when I wake up.

[alichach]

“She woke up one day and decided to stop waiting for her life to begin and start making things happen instead.”

— Unknown

[alichach]

“If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.”

— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

[alichach]

“Don’t forget - no one else sees the world the way you do, so no one else can tell the stories that you have to tell.”

— Unknown

[alichach]

“Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

— Thomas Edison

[alichach]

“Love isn’t only love, sweetheart. It’s hard work, and trust, and tears, with even a few glimpses of devastation. But at the end of each day, if you can still look at the person at your side and can’t imagine anyone else you’d rather have there, the pain, the heartache and the ups and downs of love are worth it.”

— Nicole Williams

[alichach]

No Liberty

We can easily rewrite history, we can justify cruelty, and we can denigrate good, because we are slaves to our prejudices, greed and cruelty. We have no liberty over them. And among us there are those for whom life is a punishment, and there are those for whom death is a reward.