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Penguin escapes killer whales by jumping onto a boat.
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Because sometimes we all just need to see a guy head-bump a beautiful Beluga whale
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Sometimes the technology conspires against me to make me sound crazy in my text messages.

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Losing my mind at this poor girl in Argentina who found a kitten on the side of the road and adopted it only to find out it was a freaking jaguarundi. Look at that fucking thing. That's a whole ass kiddy cat
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it is so funny when your cat pretends not to hear you but their ears are cocked in such a way you know they are listening…..stop ignoring me you menace
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Just saw a post that reminded me that when i was in the botanical gardens today there was a new sign with a photo of a cat and so clearly i was like oho? botanical garden mascot cat?? (mascat even) and went to see what the sign said and the sign said . See this cat? This cat is here all the time. she WILL beg you for pets. do not listen to her she is a fucking liar she will bite bite kill you. we do not own her. we do not know who owns her. if you know please fucking tell us. which is funny enough as like a sign purely because you know some botanical garden employees found this out the hard way but particularly funny because i MET THIS CAT WEEKS AGO. in the botanical gardens. she was sunning on a bench and very politely asked me for pets and was very nice for like ten minutes and then she bit me (not very hard, didn't break skin or anything) at which point i sternly told her well in that case i would not be petting her anymore and left and she followed me OUT of the gardens DOWN the street for a good bit, again shamelessly begging for pets. what an accomplished little criminal. neighborhood famous for lying and betrayal. god forbid women do anything
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