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[all-pacas]

was re-watching s1e2 of house. running subplot is the paternity bet that solves the case - the cast trying to figure out if the patient's dad is his biological father.

end of the episode, house is forced to hand over his winnings to cuddy to pay for a dna test, explaining he won 100 from cuddy, 100 from cameron, 200 from foreman, and a whopping 600 from wilson…

meaning that chase is actually the only one of the named cast who didn't bet against him?? iconic asskissing behavior

but it's even funnier because in early s4 there's a whole thing where they conspire to rip off everyone with another betting pool??? incredible. chase and house just teaming up to profit on everyone else. absolutely obsessed

[all-pacas]

WAIT DEFINITELY HERE FOR 13/CUDDY, yes

but also: chase as head of diagnostics and suddenly all the malpractice suits just vanish and there are hardly any patient complaints and everyone is like sweating like. how is this possible. there's no way, is chase that good??? has the malpractice stopped??? and it turns out oh no wait there's actually just as much malpractice as ever, he's just doing his prettyboy kissass "oh no i'm just a nepobaby" thing and tearing up whenever his team """"accidentally""""" almost kills a guy

was re-watching s1e2 of house. running subplot is the paternity bet that solves the case - the cast trying to figure out if the patient's dad is his biological father.

end of the episode, house is forced to hand over his winnings to cuddy to pay for a dna test, explaining he won 100 from cuddy, 100 from cameron, 200 from foreman, and a whopping 600 from wilson…

meaning that chase is actually the only one of the named cast who didn't bet against him?? iconic asskissing behavior

but it's even funnier because in early s4 there's a whole thing where they conspire to rip off everyone with another betting pool??? incredible. chase and house just teaming up to profit on everyone else. absolutely obsessed

[all-pacas]

lowkey one of my favorite little lines is in idk s5 or 4, when he's still house's special surgeon princess, and house needs something sketchy done. chase is like "i'm not able to do that, my boss won't approve" and house is like "are you. seriously telling me. you haven't kissed that man's ass enough yet that you can't make him do whatever you want." and then CUT TO THE SURGERY.

house uses his powers of perception to solve mysteries, chase uses his to kiss ass. it's beautiful. he DESERVES that spinoff

was re-watching s1e2 of house. running subplot is the paternity bet that solves the case - the cast trying to figure out if the patient's dad is his biological father.

end of the episode, house is forced to hand over his winnings to cuddy to pay for a dna test, explaining he won 100 from cuddy, 100 from cameron, 200 from foreman, and a whopping 600 from wilson…

meaning that chase is actually the only one of the named cast who didn't bet against him?? iconic asskissing behavior

but it's even funnier because in early s4 there's a whole thing where they conspire to rip off everyone with another betting pool??? incredible. chase and house just teaming up to profit on everyone else. absolutely obsessed

[all-pacas]

he and house even went bowling that one time for no medical reason or ulterior motive. win for chase!! his second unfeeling distant difficult to please dad DIDN'T cut him out of the will!! man is thriving

was re-watching s1e2 of house. running subplot is the paternity bet that solves the case - the cast trying to figure out if the patient's dad is his biological father.

end of the episode, house is forced to hand over his winnings to cuddy to pay for a dna test, explaining he won 100 from cuddy, 100 from cameron, 200 from foreman, and a whopping 600 from wilson…

meaning that chase is actually the only one of the named cast who didn't bet against him?? iconic asskissing behavior

but it's even funnier because in early s4 there's a whole thing where they conspire to rip off everyone with another betting pool??? incredible. chase and house just teaming up to profit on everyone else. absolutely obsessed

[all-pacas]

honestly chase’s character arc of asskisser nepo baby to head of diagnostics is just. chefs kiss. i like to watch these early episodes where cameron and foreman are fighting to the death about who should be in charge when house isn’t and just laugh. they both want it so bad but will never succeed. chase is just out here making money and winning

was re-watching s1e2 of house. running subplot is the paternity bet that solves the case - the cast trying to figure out if the patient's dad is his biological father.

end of the episode, house is forced to hand over his winnings to cuddy to pay for a dna test, explaining he won 100 from cuddy, 100 from cameron, 200 from foreman, and a whopping 600 from wilson…

meaning that chase is actually the only one of the named cast who didn't bet against him?? iconic asskissing behavior

but it's even funnier because in early s4 there's a whole thing where they conspire to rip off everyone with another betting pool??? incredible. chase and house just teaming up to profit on everyone else. absolutely obsessed

[all-pacas]

ok so in the DEEPLY PROBLEMATIC TM teenage model episode, house and chase make another bet about her boobs (house wins) (they fistbump to affirm the stakes)

and then a few episodes later, when cameron is mad at foreman stealing her article idea, house immediately tries to bet chase it's gonna come to violence

so apparently yeah this is just a thing with them specifically. this is their hobby. again just utterly obsessed with this dynamic

was re-watching s1e2 of house. running subplot is the paternity bet that solves the case - the cast trying to figure out if the patient's dad is his biological father.

end of the episode, house is forced to hand over his winnings to cuddy to pay for a dna test, explaining he won 100 from cuddy, 100 from cameron, 200 from foreman, and a whopping 600 from wilson…

meaning that chase is actually the only one of the named cast who didn't bet against him?? iconic asskissing behavior

but it's even funnier because in early s4 there's a whole thing where they conspire to rip off everyone with another betting pool??? incredible. chase and house just teaming up to profit on everyone else. absolutely obsessed

[all-pacas]

“We’ve been sleeping together for weeks; excuse me if I thought maybe we could start using our given names now and then.” His smile softens, but there’s amusement in his expression she doesn’t like. “I just meant no one calls me Robert.” - boundaries (are for other people)

[all-pacas]

was re-watching s1e2 of house. running subplot is the paternity bet that solves the case - the cast trying to figure out if the patient's dad is his biological father.

end of the episode, house is forced to hand over his winnings to cuddy to pay for a dna test, explaining he won 100 from cuddy, 100 from cameron, 200 from foreman, and a whopping 600 from wilson…

meaning that chase is actually the only one of the named cast who didn't bet against him?? iconic asskissing behavior

but it's even funnier because in early s4 there's a whole thing where they conspire to rip off everyone with another betting pool??? incredible. chase and house just teaming up to profit on everyone else. absolutely obsessed

[all-pacas]

"Who," House says grandly as Cuddy approaches, "ever heard of a diagnostics fellowship?" He's sitting in the hall by the elevators, ready to pounce.

"Who ever heard of a diagnostics department?" she retorts distractedly. She slows. "You're hiring a fellow. Maybe even two, if you can find that many. This is a teaching hospital."

House doesn't retort. She looks at him suspiciously and he twists his expression as if to suggest he has no idea what she's suspicious about. "Hire a fellow," she repeats. "That Treiber kid -"

"Don't like him. He's abrasive." House all but bats his eyes, the picture of innocence.

Cuddy shakes her head. "Fine. Sulk in the hallway. I have to go."

He doesn't argue. She hurries towards the arriving elevator. He watches as she tries to enter before the doors close. A blond kid sticks out his arm to block them, flashes a thousand perfectly white teeth at her when she says thanks.

Interesting.

[all-pacas]

oh no i wrote a fanfic,

"Who," House says grandly as Cuddy approaches, "ever heard of a diagnostics fellowship?" He's sitting in the hall by the elevators, ready to pounce.

"Who ever heard of a diagostics department?" she retorts distractedly. She slows. "You're hiring a fellow. Maybe even two, if you can find that many. This is a teaching hospital."

House doesn't retort. She looks at him suspiciously and he twists his expression as if to suggest he has no idea what she's suspicious about. "Hire a fellow," she repeats. "That Treiber kid -"

"Don't like him. He's abrasive." House all but bats his eyes, the picture of innocence.

Cuddy shakes her head. "Fine. Sulk in the hallway. I have to go."

He doesn't argue. She hurries towards the arriving elevator. He watches as she tries to enter before the doors close. A blond kid sticks out his arm to block them, flashes a thousand perfectly white teeth at her when she says thanks.

Interesting.

"I would have thought you'd be all over this," Wilson says as they sit with their lunches.

"Why? Because of my warm and welcoming personality?" House leads them across the cafeteria, past several empty tables, before taking his seat.

"Because a fellowship gives you a minion," Wilson says fairly, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Paid to listen to you and obey your every command. I'd have thought that would appeal."

"What kind of man do you think I am?" House is staring over Wilson's shoulder with a certain intensity. He turns his head. A cluster of nurses chatting, a tired couple with all the earmarks of parents of a sick kid, a blond kid reviewing a thick sheaf of papers, the head of pediatrics eating a solitary lunch.

"What about that Johnson girl? She was..."

"Cute?" House snarks.

"Appealing," Wilson amends. "Sweet."

"She was an idiot. If I wanted eye candy, I could hire a hooker for half the price. There's an idea. How easy is it to fake a background check?"

"Great plan, until Bambi has to draw some blood. Or were you planning on finally using nurses?"

"I don't trust nurses." House keeps staring over Wilson's shoulder. The papers are too far away to read, but he can just make out the logo on the cover sheet. "Who does immigration paperwork in a hospital?" he asks.

"Come on," Wilson misunderstands, joking. "The least you could do is sort out Bambi's status before you hire her."

-

"You care about results," Trier says. "So do I. Facts and research. I would be an asset to this department."

He knows House isn't easily impressed. Won't respond well to fawning. He'd prepared for the interview, came in expecting power plays. But he wants this job. He deserves this job.

House flips a page in the rheumatology textbook he's examining. Trier tries not to fidget. "Classic power play," he blurts. "Read a book to show how little you care." House glances up. "I get it. I get you. I would be a tremendous help to you and your methods --"

"Oh," House says brightly. "Silly me. I thought I was hiring a fellow, not the other way around."

"You're brilliant. So am I. There's no need for either of us to fake modesty."

"Then what on earth could I possibly teach you?"

"Diagnostics," Trier says, slightly flustered.

House turns back to his book. "Did you know there are over a hundred possible symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis?" he asks, his voice dripping with false excitement. "Fascinating!"

House rides the elevator up and down for a solid half hour, his leg aching. Finally Dr. Thomas gets on, offering barely a nod to House's exaggerated smile. The door starts to close. House counts down from three... two...

"Hold the door!"

Dr. Thomas sticks out his arm, and the blond kid hurries onto the elevator, all smiles. "Thanks."

Thomas nods. The doors close. "You're Dr Thomas, aren't you?" the kid asks as the elevator starts to move. "Oh - I'm not a patient, don't worry." He smiles, sticks out his hand. "I'm interviewing for the surgical residency. Dr Cuddy spoke highly of you. Rob Chase. Fantastic to meet like this - we're due to interview next week?"

"Dr Chase. Of course." Thomas clearly has no idea who the kid is, but shakes his hand. The elevator dings.

"Nice to meet you," the kid says, oozing charm, as Thomas exits.

"Nice trick, Doogie," House says when the doors close. The kid jumps, noticing him for the first time. "Repetitive, though. Do you just hang out around the elevators waiting for your future bosses?"

The kid's neck colors, and he doesn't respond.

"Relax. I'm impressed. How'd you know who to corner?"

"There's photos on the hospital's website."

The elevator stops. "Follow me," House says, pushing past the kid. He obeys. "Fresh off the boat?"

"Been in the States a month."

"So you moved before you had a job? Immigration must love that. No wonder you've been trying to get that paperwork finished. Kids these days. So irresponsible. So rich."

"I've interviewed at Mercy. At Columbia."

"But you're lurking around here."

"I only got half through my surgical residency, and I like this place's program."

"So you're only half a surgeon?"

He turns on the kid, who stops short, uncertain. "Say," House asks. "Is my photo on the website?"

The kid recites obediently: "You're Dr. House. Head of diagnostics. Double specialty in -"

"Yeah, I know. You haven't been stalking me around the hospital."

"I'm surprised you noticed." For the first time, a little heat colors the kid's tone. "Maybe I didn't have to work to get your attention."

"Maybe I'm just a fan of your father's," House snarks back. The kid flushes red. At House's office, he hesitates until House waves him inside. "The way I see it, Dr. Chase's only son could get a job in any hospital down undah he wanted, no matter how mediocre his grades."

"My grades were fine --"

"And yet you moved to New Jersey and started sucking up to department heads in elevators," House finishes. He looks the kid over. His suit isn't fitted, his shirt wrinkled, and yet the kid looks like a model.

"New York, actually," he says.

"Hell of a commute."

"Is this a job interview, Dr. House?" The kid sits slowly in the chair across the desk.

"I'm not interested in hiring some asskissing pretty boy. Now, pretty girl --"

"Because I don't want the job," he continues. "I want to finish my residency."

"Why? You've already finished two. Overachiever?" House pulls a face. "Daddy issues?"

"No," he says, too quickly.

"Of course not. Who doesn't move halfway around the world to job hunt?" House mocks. The kid's obviously upset, but doesn't retort or argue back. Just sinks into his too-large suit. "Do you even have an interview with Thomas, or were you planning on kissing his ass until you got one?"

"I'll have one by the end of the week," the kid says defiantly. House smirks.

"Surgery and intensive care," he says. He turns to the counter behind him, picks up the kid's resume he'd had Cuddy procure. "You must love saving lives."

"I do," he says, eyeing the resume and the copy of his father's book House had strategically placed under the manilla folder.

"How sweet."

"I like them when they're dying," the kid says, leaning forward. "When you have a bleed and ten seconds to find it. When they crash and you don't know why and you have less than a minute to fix the problem."

"And that's why you're a perfect candidate for my fellowship?" House mocks.

"You tell me. You're courting me, aren't you?"

"Sudden attitude shift. Trying to appeal to the nearest authority figure by imitating his grizzled charm?"

"If I'd said I like saving lives because it makes me feel nice inside, would that have helped?" The kid tilts his head.

He skims the kid's file again. Looks up at him over the top of the folder, then tosses it down. "Have your dad call me."

"What?" he blinks.

"You want the job, I'd like a character reference."

"I have references."

"Yeah, but I'm such a fan of daddy. Shouldn't be a problem. Not like you fled England rather than live in his shadow or anything."

"Australia."

House waits. Finally the kid stands up. He offers his hand to House to shake. He doesn't take it.

Rowan Chase calls the next morning.

"I want to hire Bobby," House says, cornering Cuddy the next morning.

"Who?"

He passes her the manila envelope. Cuddy skims it and looks disapproving. "Dr. Chase is the new surgical resident. Dr. Thomas --"

House is already walking away.

He finds the kid in the central hall with two styrofoam cups. "Did the website have my coffee order, too?" he asks, saccharine.

"One's black and the other has milk and sugar. Did - did my father --" He blinks, losing his confidence.

House takes the black coffee. "God, I'm never going to have to talk to a patient again with an ass-kisser like you around." He grins. "See you Monday."

[all-pacas]

can we hyperfixate on bad medical dramas together please

i just wanna talk about these dumb baby doctors

[all-pacas]

for the record it is not the old man yaoi but the deranged children that Got Me. toxic coworkers. venn diagram with no overlaps. cameron and foreman competing to see who is the best and superior while chase willfully drags their gpa down. cameron's biggest fantasy is house weeping and telling her he loves her; foreman's biggest fantasy is house on his knees recognizing foreman's superiority; meanwhile chase is kissing 9 year olds and fucking cameron on meth and is the one who inherits the department in the end. absolutely deranged. can't wait for the inevitable three way death match between these two tryhards and the vapid pretty boy who will absolutely win

like it's so funny too because chase is an intensivist? so his whole thing is he's really good at keeping dying people alive, which becomes hilarious because he openly doesn't give a shit about any of this EXCEPT then he jumps in when things get serious and they all defer to his orders and it's so funny. there was a s1 episode where house gives orders and it's like cameron "i'm gonna go research this" foreman "i'm gonna go do this lab thing" chase "i'll keep our patient alive" like it's so fucking funny. this man doesn't give even the slightest crap and yet he's so hypercompetent. i love they gave that to the apathetic pretty boy. the other two are fighting for moral and doctoral superiority and are absolutely useless (affectionate)

house md has officially blorbodized itself in my brain

[all-pacas]

house md has officially blorbodized itself in my brain

[all-pacas]

s1 house kids avoiding one another in the supermarket:

chase and foreman do the sensible thing and pretend to not notice one another, perhaps do a Cordial Nod if it is required. cameron however is all "wow!! great to run into you guys!!"

"now that we're out of work we should interact socially isn't that right robert and eric" and they s w e a t

she's actually doing it passive-aggressively

foreman sucks it up and has a polite conversation, but chase unapologetically turns 180 degrees and walks away when he sees her at the end of the aisle. he is not being paid or rewarded by sucking up to her and so he Refuses (yes i am aware they date later)

cashiers flirt hard with chase. foreman will do the "fine how are you" thing but with a grimace of "don't you dare prolong this conversation." cameron Engages

but she doesn't actually want to. like she does it because she thinks it's what doctors Should Do and Community Ties and she gets real passive aggressive about it

she and wilson have gotten into polite chitchat death spirals in the produce section. mutually dying inside. unable to stop.

foreman buys a lot of health food but hates it

cameron likes to imagine she's a good cook but throws out half of what she buys because she doesn't actually use it

chase feels like a "lives off pizza rolls" kinda dude

honestly so does wilson

chase does house's grocery shopping for him. he does it Well. he knows all the right Brands. he is very possessive of this knowledge. house has never once thanked him and never will

cuddy drives across the city rather than risk running into anyone she knows at the store (was whole foods around in 2004), but keeps running into house anyway.

[all-pacas]

wait fanfic concept: everyone avoiding one another in the supermarket

help i'm getting Into house md

[all-pacas]

lol i forgot to mention foreman!! i think his problem right now is that he is perfectly competent and correct and everyone else is like 3 raccoons in a trenchcoat pretending to be humans. he's like michael kaine in the muppet christmas carol. he's doing great but i'm here for the muppets

oh but pro cameron move: loved her reading a self help book and coming in calling everyone by their first names and speaking in platitudes. hilarious. love tryhard cameron. love the others giving her shit for it

i love how no one is friends?? like they all have coworkers vibes. they tolerate one another. they don't dislike one another but would avoid eachother in the grocery store.

i vaguely remember everyone hating stacy and honestly? she's fine. like i don't want her and house together but also i can see why they were. they're vibing. i can see why they were together.

that said vogler was insufferable. like i like a good villain but. eesh

help i'm getting Into house md

[all-pacas]

i watched at least some of it many years ago and my retained knowledge is patchy. my general s1 thoughts:

i knew the show was Problematic but oh i forgot the blatant fatphobia and a dude just dropping an uncensored f— on his gay brother and on the other hand 2004 was also just kind of Like That. oof

cameron is in a spin cycle of i was so tired of her for the first third of season 1, then she grew on me, then she lost all that good will when she announced house was in love with her like she’s the main character of a romance novel

love how in the first few episodes foreman and cameron get a lot of personality established and chase. exists. that said he grew on me a lot something about his just blatant weathervane asskissing is so funny to me. the fact that you can bully him and he just bounces back like one of those inflatable pins. does this man have any self esteem it’s so funny

cuddy is the best and i will not take arguments. i love her. she and house have fantastic chemistry, not in the i want them to kiss way exactly, just, you can tell that even when they’re bickering they both kind of enjoy it

wilson also took me a few episodes to Get but he slowly became snarkier and funnier and now he’s great

help i'm getting Into house md