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today is off to such a bad start and any distraction would be so welcome

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they’ve been at it for five hours

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home from work and i have such bad cramps and i want to stare vacantly into space for 6-8 hours

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My take is that if you’re going to break up a happy healthy committed straight ship to make room for a gay one (or vice versa, but lbr the former happens more often in fandom) then you HAVE to keep the characters’ insanity for each other intact. Like ok yes sure we can handwave “it was a different time and we were younger and now that things are settled it’s for the best that we split” sure whatever BUT! I will not accept these guys becoming ambivalent to each other. You MUST maintain the fact that they would absolutely kill someone if the other asks. if you take away the romantic attraction then the years of history and emotion remain and now instead of kissing each other the blorbos just have to be really intense about their ex’s health and safety instead.

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your kidfic au is really funny to me because one of the kids has my sister's name and another one has my dog's name

your sister benji and dog danielle right

(how i came up with the names:

sofia just for the meme. i think it's so funny if every single girl born in the ppth whirlpool is doomed to be named some variation of sophia.

ellie = been using danielle as chase's sister's name forever, it seemed cute

ben = wanted a boy's name that lent itself to a lot of nicknames and wasn't too "hip" or trendy. sam = same logic. gender neutral but in a "classic" way. not that there's anything wrong with cool names but i wanted it to fit with the other two tonally. i also debated "alex" etc but i ultimately like sam more. (it's my brother's name, although i don't like him, so take that as you will.)

)

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KIDFIC AU HEADCANONS aka meet my disgusting ocs uwu

SOFIA BAKER CAMERON

sofia was born with her dad's surname (which i can never decide on but need to for my actual fanficcccc). let's say "baker." eventually she does have it changed to "cameron" to match the rest of the family.

hates her younger siblings. like not actually but. she doesn't like change and crying babies and disruptions in her routines and babies are so good at all of that. to try and "help" cameron and chase bought her like 20 "being a sister is fun!" picture books and got her really involved with cameron's pregnancies and instead: special interest unlocked!!!

sofia still hates her siblings but is also a weird 7-year-old baby expert. (by the time she/they're all older they get along fine)

she alone of the kids goes into medicine. she becomes a pediatrician. by the time sofia is in med school she has completely retconned the "my parents were so desperate to keep me from killing my siblings they created a hyperfixation" into "i've always loved kids :)" chase finds this very funny

needless to say she absolutely has the autism

she and cameron clash growing up because they're very alike and find their similarities grating. like wow she's soooo stubborn and inflexible. unlike ME. but she's very close with chase. he never adopts her formally but at a certain point she does start calling him 'dad' full time.

chase's absolute favorite they are best friends. when she started showing an interest in medicine cameron was SO proud but chase freaked a little. but also sofia spent every afternoon after school from 6-16 in the diagnostics office so what did you THINK would happen chase.

nicknames: soph, sofa, fifi (chase only, cameron hates it)

DANIELLE "ELLIE" CAMERON

the only one with the blond gene. looks a lot like chase generally.

she tends to be pretty calm and easy-going (was the easiest infant in the universe), and cameron thinks she takes after chase, but ellie really takes it to a new level. she's a daydreamer/dawdler, CANNOT be hurried, will do everything at her own pace. she was almost two weeks late and cameron needed to be induced: the joke is that ellie has ALWAYS taken her time.

because she's kind of quiet cameron and chase worry she's the Overlooked Middle Child, and that's part of it - her older and younger siblings are much louder and need more than she does - but she also is easy going so it's tough! cameron tends to spoil her a little.

ellie's a big animal lover and she's the one who broke chase's antipathy for pets. she has a tortoise, a cat, a rabbit, is constantly rescuing bugs and playing outside... cameron and chase are SURE she's going to be a vet or something, but ellie turns out to be the "slacker" of the kids; she doesn't care much about money or careers and would rather just work a boring office job that gives her free time.

in true middle child fashion she's the peacekeeper and diplomat of the family, she's often sofia's spokesman when sofia is mad at someone.

in her own way she's very stubborn; she knows who she is and what she wants and she is NOT changing her mind. cameron thinks she is 120% chase's kid but he's less convinced.

as the most outdoorsy kid is also the most sporty one. likes soccer a lot, is a good swimmer (sadly for chase, an indifferent surfer, but she looooves snorkeling and even scuba diving).

nicknames: ellie, but she's been ellie since the day she was born. in her teens briefly experiments with elle and danielle as more "grown up" options, but no. she's just ellie.

BENJI / "SAM" CAMERON

enby

so cameron and chase were really excited to have a boy after two fairly girly-girls, only for benji to be pretty obviously some flavor of nonbinary very young. and they are accepting and love them no matter what but they did briefly consider "could we maybe have a fourth kid? like it would be nice to have A boy" rip

after much consideration they decide they want to be called sam (at least as a kid) because it can be both a boy and girl name. as they get older they'll probably refine this and figure out what's going on and what they want, but as a kid it's more "i don't want to be a girl all the time or a boy all the time" and as "sam" they can swap back and forth.

don't mind still being called benji sometimes but it's a) only when they're feeling more like a boy and b) ONLY okay from family. private nickname only.

the baby of the family and very spoiled. used as a human dress-up doll by their sisters, adores sofia and ellie and just follows them around.

sofia is lowkey chase's favorite and ellie is lowkey cameron's -- not that they don't love sam but you know -- sam ends up being the kind of "extended family" kid. they're very close with uncle foreman and the MOST honorary Park of the group. speaks suspiciously good tagalog thanks to popo.

also gets weirdly into catholicism, again through popo and NOT their dad. chase is so torn on this, he's kind of pleased but also kind of oh no did i religiously pressure my childdddddd. sam's not like religious-religious, they just like the ritual and routine of it.

really, REALLY smart kid. like none of the kids are slouches, but by ten sam is basically fluent in tagalog and korean just by pestering the parks, a complete auto-didact. 120% a Gifted Kid. their parents are actually kind of wary about this: cameron and chase obviously think it's a given their kids are all brilliant and perfect, but chase in particular has soo many traumatic memories of being pressured to be brilliant and is inclined to go the opposite way. sam could have skipped grades but cam and chase decide it isn't worth it; they do make sure sam gets into whatever university they want, tho.

dark hair, brown eyes. one of those genetic quirks where sam got their grandmother's nose and rowan's eyes or something.

sam actually ends up living in australia as an adult, working at a university there. chase is like. weirdly proud of this. although it's rough they're so far away. :(

nicknames: sam is their full name, gets changed legally at some point. goes by sam or sammy, sometimes their sisters will call them samueltha to tease. as a kid was okay with being called benji by immediate family only, but that tapers off over the years.

debated legally changing their last name to chase when they legally changed their first to sam, mostly to throw chase a bone lmao. chase joked about changing his to cameron instead. (he didn't)

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"you can't pick and choose what you like from canon" common misconception! yes you can

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every time someone argues that cuddy in ‘Help Me’ was out of character, because “she would never do this in earlier seasons,” i lose five years of my life. these people fail to understand that her feelings for him only grew stronger over time, and that she grew out of the shell that she was self-preserving in, too.

"she would never do that in the earlier seasons"

well, exactly! characters develop! they move forward! cuddy specifically has a very clear arc through the show; she is distinctly, purposefully, different from when the show first started. she like. has a whole child now lol.

as i've tried to make a point of in my posts (though i often forget what i've posted V. what solely lives in my notes), huddy is a relationship that we watch blossom over the course of the series. they start out not very close at all —i wouldn't really even call them friends until the end of season 2— and grow closer and closer over the course of the series. this isn't to say that they didn't care about each other, or didn't have a connection — i think their shared past does a lot of heavy lifting in that department —, but that it is plainly and simply a relationship that grows and changes over the course of the show.

but of course, this is a fandom whose primary ship (H/W) is one where the relationship, as it were, never really fundamentally changed, and that is kinda the appeal of it—the magnetization of it all. so i can understand in a way how people who are attracted to that sort of relationship may not care for huddy. but i think to act like characters/relationships cannot change, or that any sort of change is "bad writing" or inconsistent, is pretty dense.

i refer to season 6 as "the boiling point" when it comes to huddy. the years of tension and pining come to a conclusion with a season where it feels like them getting together is a ticking time bomb — it's bound to happen. hell, cuddy starts to actively run away from house during this season; something has to change, something's gotta give. you are absolutely right in that her (and his!) feelings grew over time, and season 6 is a perfect example of it; the confession itself is a perfect example of it! she avoided her feelings until avoidance was a futile option. the whole point was that it was unavoidable.

Help Me fan 'til i fuckin DIE. you can never take this episode away from me.

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to be clear i know adhd meds are not anti depressants but also it's amazing how much my mental health improved when i wasn't dreading going into work every day because of how hard everything would be and how much i would hate myself for struggling with it <3

btw not to brag but i was officially given more adhd meds by my doctor and. i have to take depression screening surveys every time i go and LMAO

left is july, right is august i would say the medicine is helping

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IT LOSES LIKE HALF THE FLAVOR AND CREAMINESS WHEN IT'S COLD. TRUST MEEEEE

psa: cheese is supposed to be eaten at room temperature. keep it in your fridge for sure, but try to take it out at least an hour before you plan on eating it to let it breathe. the texture and flavor are both more prominent/better when room temp, i thought everyone knew this but apparently not!!

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btw not to brag but i was officially given more adhd meds by my doctor and. i have to take depression screening surveys every time i go and LMAO

left is july, right is august i would say the medicine is helping

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psa: cheese is supposed to be eaten at room temperature. keep it in your fridge for sure, but try to take it out at least an hour before you plan on eating it to let it breathe. the texture and flavor are both more prominent/better when room temp, i thought everyone knew this but apparently not!!

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I want to talk about Cameron becoming head of department in Emergency at PPTH, after leaving diagnostics. 

Like yes, it’s definitely a little tv handwavey to go from fellowship to department head. But disregarding that, I think the move to the ER from a character standpoint really successfully reflects cameron’s philosophy.

House’s team is all about hypotheticals, proving points, the puzzle. The ER couldn't be much further from that; it's blood, noise and urgency. Cameron was always drawn to the human, the emotional, the immediate. she wants to act. in the ER, she can save who she can, stabilise who she can’t, and live with that. It’s pragmatic compassion, which is what she was reaching for whilst with House

also fic prompt for anyone who wants it: cameron trying to politely reframe the diagnostics fellowship as “relevant leadership experience” in a chicago job interview. (“yes, i worked under dr. house. yes, that dr. house. no, i can’t give you his number for a reference…”)

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cameron's loser boyfriend

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House M.D. + Chairs

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not to detract from chase's various derangements but the funniest thing about this is honestly. "house didn't know he was coming back?" house is the most predictable motherfucker on the planet. adams is acting like it's so wild of chase to be certain he'd retain employment, like chase hasn't worked here for ten years. like chase hasn't seen house spend years going to absurd lengths to keep his favorite employees/carpets/parking spots the same. like house didn't retire from medicine forever in s6 and take it back a month later. chase has been personally recruited and re-recruited like 3 times at this point. this isn't faith this is basic pattern recognition.

HOUSE, M.D. 8.05 — The Confession

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Your tags said you wouldn't wish House on Cameron (or vice versa), so now I'm curious how you think a genuine try at a relationship between them would go.

Also, who would you inflict house on? Of eveyone in the show, who do you think it would have been possivle for House to have a long term relationship with? Stacy? Wilson? Cuddy?

(Assuming the pre-show stuff still stays the same, as in Stacy still goes against House wishes, Wilson still has his failed marriages)

We saw how a genuine try at a relationship would go -- their date. They were both trying to make it a success, House put in a lot of extra effort to please her, and they couldn't even get through dinner. I'm not trying to be pithy here, but: we saw it! It didn't "go" at all!

While I think S1 makes it pretty clear that Cameron has genuine feelings for House, and that House at least tentatively reciprocates, we also immediately see the warning signs. Cameron spends the entire Crush Arc pushing House to "admit" his feelings, defining every action House takes through the lens of his crush, dictating what he feels and what he needs to do about it. House hates that; House has always been completely defiant to other's perceptions of him. The second Cameron started telling him "no matter how you act, it's proof you are in love with me?" It was over between them.

But that's not the only problem. Cameron and House are both terrified of vulnerability and loss, and are both fairly controlling -- House arranges his life just so, surrounding himself with the same people and objects and resisting change and outside influence; Cameron avoids commitment and emotional vulnerability with others (again: in the entire Crush Era, Cameron never tells House she likes him. She instead focuses on telling him he likes her). When she quits, she explains it as needing to protect herself by controlling the situation: rather than be vulnerable and rejected, she would rather leave entirely. We later find out she uprooted her life after her husband died, and she later uproots herself again post-Chase. Both House and Cameron also are constantly trying to pick at others and dictate/control their reactions, albeit with different end points: House tries to prove the world is as cynical as he wants it to be, and Cameron tries to prove the world is as good as she needs it to be. Both hate being wrong. Both are constantly trying to push the other to see things in this light. Both are stubborn and inflexible.

Both also have the habit of, as I mentioned, running and self-sabotage when scared. I already talked a little about Cameron's habit of doing this: think also of her ghosting Chase in Saviors to buy herself time, think of House kissing Cuddy in a moment of emotional vulnerability, and then deciding he can and will never talk to her again. Think of House doing everything but admitting he has unresolved feelings for Stacy and chickening out when he has a chance to be with her; think of Cameron panicking when Chase tells her he wants to make their relationship official. In all of these cases, the show and the writer's mouthpieces make it clear that the feelings are real, that Cameron and House are chickening out, that they lash out and shoot themselves in the foot (feet?) rather than take emotional risks. Now imagine them in a relationship, both jumping straight to self-sabotage.

So you have two control freaks (affectionate) incapable of being vulnerable, but eager to dictate how the people around them feel/are to match their perceived views of the world, and what do you get? The world's worst date. You get Cameron informing House how he feels while not giving an inch of emotion herself (she LITERALLY never says she likes him); you get House tearing into her and informing her none of her feelings are real or matter. You get Cameron up all night crying and never pursuing House again; you get House losing all tentative interest in her because now he can safely assure himself she only pitied him and therefore her feelings do not matter.

If somehow the date had gone well, they'd be on a very short timeline. The first fight, the first moment of vulnerability, the first time House was careless or heartless or the first time Cameron tried to dictate his feelings (or he dictated hers)? It would be over. Imagine them in a S3-ish FWB era, imagine one of them asking to make it official and the other panicking. House wouldn't pursue Cameron after that: he'd ghost her. Cameron wouldn't pursue House after that: she'd change jobs. Even though I really do believe they were attracted to one another and somewhat romantically interested (I say somewhat only to distinguish between the possibility of a relationship vs an actual one)... they're doomed from the word go. There is no relationship between them, because neither would ever be capable of letting there be.

(I guess the one exception would be in the S5-ish timeline, after Cameron has had some character development and grown up a lot. But as the show makes pretty clear: she is not interested in House at that point, and even if you removed Chase from the picture, Teamwork makes it clear she still wouldn't be.)