all-things-jily

[all-things-jily]

do the hustle!

little jily drabble, enjoy!

also on ao3

James is close. So close, she could just purse her lips and they’d be kissing. 

Lily thinks this might just be the night. 

They’ve been playing this game of chicken for weeks, where one of them gets close (almost always Lily), too close, maybe, until the other snaps and moves away (always James). 

If you had asked Lily in September, she would’ve said her silly crush on James Potter was the worst thing that ever happened to her. But a lot changes in seven weeks, and now all that’s on her mind is putting James’ lips on hers. She can deal with the rest later. 

It’s Halloween, they’re in the Common Room. Sirius, James and Peter have all moved the furniture out of the way, opening up a makeshift dance floor, where every fifth year and up (except the Slytherins, obviously) is currently standing. Dancing. 

Mary is in control of the music tonight, which explains why there’s been absolutely no rock whatsoever, not that Lily’s complaining, she’s always found disco to be sexier. And it works for her purpose tonight. 

She’s moving her hips, close, very close to his hips. James places a hand on her waist, sending lightning bolts throughout her body. And honestly, it probably looks ridiculous from an outside perspective: Stevie Nicks (or a girl with a pretty accurate costume, if Lily does say so herself) hip-to-hip with a tanner, bespectacled Freddie Mercury. It’s more than ridiculous. But it’s Halloween, so it’s allowed.

Lily tilts her head, mouth watering, heat at the bottom of her gut, and she’s getting ready to close her eyes—when James freezes, mouth agape, eyes wide. 

“I need some water,” he says, strained. 

Lily stays, dumbfounded, frozen. 

She turns, blinking, to find that all of her friends are just as confused as she is. Except now they’re all sitting on the same couch. Sirius and Remus have even produced a bar of chocolate.  When did they all leave? 

She breathes and plasters a smile on her face, like nothing happened. 

“Mary!” she yells, walking over. “Dance with me.”

“But I’m tired!” Mary yells back, scrunching her face. 

“You can never be too tired to dance,” Lily replies. “You told me that.” 

Mary scoffs. “I hate it when I’m wise.” But she smiles all the same. She stands up, wobbly due to the amount of alcohol in her bloodstream. “Wait. I need to go to the loo first.”

Lily laughs, because she’s drunk and everything is funny. 

In the bathroom, Lily stares at her reflection in the mirror, while Mary pees right next to her and hums a Donna Summer song in her sweet voice. She looks at her stained lips, unkissed. She stares at her shoulders, untouched. She looks at her waist, at the exact place James put his hand just a few minutes ago. 

Mary stands up and flushes the toilet. Lily gets out of the way so her friend can wash her hands.  

“So,” the girl prompts, scrubbing her hands. “You and James? I didn’t want to believe it, but Peter told me all about it. I said, if Lily’s feeling something, she’ll tell me about it. Sirius was so smug about the fact that I had no idea.”

“We were just dancing,” she responds, because it’s all she can process right now. 

Mary closes the tap and turns to point at Lily, splashing her face in the process. “You were about to kiss.”

Lily sighs, “But he moved away! So.” She doesn’t have the strength to tell Mary all about it. She wonders why she hasn’t told any of her friends about her silly not-so-silly crush. “Obviously he doesn’t want me back. Not anymore.”

Mary’s eyes turn soft, her eyelids glittering under the fluorescent light. “Lily–”

“It's fine!” she interrupts. “Right now all I want is to dance with my best friend so I can forget all about it.”

The other girl sighs, “Fine.” And she presses a kiss on Lily’s forehead, leaving a mark of red lipstick. 

As they’re walking down the stairs back to the Common Room, she hears her song playing. the mystic guitars and the powerful bassline. Stevie Nicks’ voice reverberating through the stone walls. Rhiannon. 

She squeals excitedly, and grabs Mary’s wrist forcibly. They run down the stairs, almost missing that James is standing by the stairway, almost. 

“Come dance with us!” She tells him, moving to grab his hands. She doesn’t notice where Mary has gone. 

James shakes his head, and doesn’t say a word. Which is unlike him. 

Lily tilts her head, pouting, “Aw. Are you gonna be sick?” 

James laughs, and really, she shouldn’t feel proud to be making him laugh, but she does feel it. Every time he so much as smiles at her. “No,” he says. “Not yet. But if I spin around one more time, I might.”

He tightens his jaw, and Lily does believe him, because now that she’s looking at him, he does kind of look green in the face. 

She bites her bottom lip. “Alright.”

And so she reaches Mary in the middle of the dance floor. And she moves her hips in the way the song demands you do. She moves her arms, touching her body the way James hasn’t. She twirls and moves her hips. 

But it doesn’t even occur to her that James might be watching each and every move. Until. 

“He can’t stop watching you,” she hears Mary say, resting her hand on Lily’s hip. She turns her around until she’s facing him. 

Lily smiles at him, and doesn’t miss the way his tongue darts out of his mouth when she starts moving again. She watches the way his eyes follow her body, like they can’t process all of her at once. 

She dances until the music stops.

And the world stops. 

The next song starts. A beat and voices humming. 

Lily breathes heavily. 

Do it. 

Her body starts moving out of its own accord, walking towards him. 

Do it. 

His brown eyes look absolutely black, pupils blown, and she’s sure hers look just like that, too. 

She reaches him, stands right in front of him. 

“Alright, Evans?” 

Do it. 

“Never better,” she answers. 

Do the hustle!

Her hands find his neck. His hands find her waist again. Finally, she breathes. 

When her lips touch his, the music stops. Not literally of course, but Lily’s ears start ringing and she starts feeling weightless, like she could conquer the world if only she had James’ hands on her back like that. His touch is deliberate, confident, like she always dreamed it would be. His hands roam her body like it’s the only thing he needs, his tongue tastes of firewhiskey and she finds it just as addictive as the real thing. 

With her hands on his soft, messy hair, all she can think is, I can’t believe we haven’t been doing this all this time.  

[all-things-jily]

old Jily fanart love em

[all-things-jily]

And now, here she was. A vision in a traveling cloak as she entered Hogwarts castle, as vivid and beautiful as the day she left, he was certain. As heart-achingly beautiful as ever. How was he supposed to survive a whole year living in the castle with her again without falling back into the habit that felt a lot like being in love?

Read on AO3; 8.7k

[all-things-jily]

the structural integrity of a courtyard

another ficlet based on a parlie collab added to marginalia in a well-loved manuscript

Lily loves the courtyard but she loves it most when it is quiet, and that is a rare thing because everyone loves the courtyard and that means that it is never quiet. It is especially unlikely to be quiet at times like these: May days and April afternoons, early mid-mornings in early June, times when cloud-breaks align with class-breaks and the sun makes a real effort at warming stone and kissing skin. It is almost never quiet when Lily wishes it were quiet the most, except today the universe has granted her a little gift in the form of an empty and quiet courtyard. It’s not warm but it’s also not cold; it’s pleasant enough in the sun that Lily lets her robes fall open and rolls her stockings to her ankles so the dappled sunlight can leave dappled kisses on her legs. The stone of the archway where she’s sitting has been baking all morning long and so it’s warm against her back, and there’s no breeze to disrupt the stillness and the quiet.

In May, the flowers are starting to bloom and the shrubs that line the walls are looking greener than they have in months and summer feels like a possibility again. As she sits and reads her book—One Hundred Years of Solitude, which she found in the Muggle bookstore in Hogsmeade, of all places—the ivy that is climbing the column behind her reaches out to tickle her cheek.

“Hello again,” Lily murmurs, glancing in its direction without moving her head. “It’s nice to see you, too.”

It tugs on her hair in response and then twines down her arm and to her wrist, turns the page just as she finishes the last word and then takes up residence on the corner of the page as a paperweight; Lily lightly touches a leaf in thanks, hums softly and returns to her paragraph. It is quiet and it stays that way for some time yet, the tendril of ivy turning the page when Lily is ready for the next and Lily turning her face just slightly to the right to catch the sun as it moves across the sky.

“Hey sweet thang—fuck!”  

“Jesus!”

Lily yelps and snaps her book shut as James Potter, who has hopped up on the ledge of the adjacent archway and swung himself around while clinging to the column between them for support, vastly misjudges his own velocity and goes tumbling to the flagstone of the colonnade. He hits the ground with an oof! in a tangle of limbs and messenger bag; Lily definitely hears a bottle of ink shatter, or possibly his glasses, maybe both.

“The name’s James, actually,” he says, rolling onto his back and looking up at her. “But Jesus is close enough, I s’pose.”

“Do you even know who Jesus is?” Lily asks.

“The bloke with the bread and the fishes and the wine,” James says. “Allegedly came back from the dead—I’m curious how that happened, frankly, given necromancy is impossible, and, in the event that someone does figure it out, it’s been made preemptively illegal—”

“What are you doing?” Lily interrupts.

“Telling you about the Necromancy Laws of 1726,” James says. “What are you doing?”

“No, I meant what are you doing?” She asks, gesturing towards the column around which he’d so gracefully swung, and then to the spot where he’s so ungracefully getting up off the ground.

“Testing the structural integrity of the courtyard,” he says, patting the column firmly. “I’m doing a public service, keeping my fellow Hogwart-ians safe and all.”

“Is that so?” Lily asks, dryly.

“It can be extremely dangerous, sitting in an archway with structurally unsound supports,” he says, folding his arms and leaning against the column with his shoulder. “You’re lucky I was here to test it, who knows what could have happened?”

“Something dreadful, no doubt,” Lily says, fighting a smile.

“Something dreadful indeed,” James says with a solemn nod. “Anyway, this should really be your job, given you’re a prefect. I’m just being a Good Samaritan.”

“Testing the structural integrity of the courtyard falls under my responsibilities as a prefect, does it?”

“Someone has to ensure the safety of the castle and all its residents, Evans,” James says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “This place is old as dirt, didn’t you hear the Hat back in September? It said Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago, we’re probably well overdue for a building inspection. I mean, look at the state of the place. I’ve seen parts of this castle crumble, like the wall between those two dungeons in the East wing. What if the courtyard is next?”

“Funny,” Lily says, “I seem to remember you and Sirius having something to do with that wall between those two dungeons. What was it, again?”

“Besides the point,” James says, waving a hand airily. “A truly structurally sound wall wouldn’t have given way so easily.”

“What’s your assessment of my archway, then?” Lily asks. “Am I safe?”

“Seems so,” he says, assessing the column and the archway, rapping a few times with his knuckles and looking closely at a spot where two stones come together. “But it’s hard to be sure—these things are known to crumble in the presence of pretty girls, you know.”

“And what about when there’s a messy-haired, bespectacled prat in the vicinity?” Lily teases. “Might he contribute to the structural failings of an archway when he goes swinging around its support?”

“The contrary, actually,” James says, grinning. “If my observations prove correct, such a messy-haired, bespectacled prat would cancel it out. Would you look at that? The threat’s been neutralized—I told you, you were lucky I was here.”

“I am lucky,” Lily says.

She means it, is the thing. It’s May and she means it; she’s been unlucky for a lot of the past eleven months—Sev, her father her sister, Mary, everything else that has come between those pillars of poor luck that marked the age of sixteen—but it seems that perhaps her luck has turned of late. Maybe seventeen is her lucky number; or maybe she’s started looking for the lucky moments amidst the unlucky—like her moment of quiet, which James Potter has now interrupted in that way he has, but that doesn’t feel like a stroke of bad luck so much as the opposite. She was enjoying the quiet, and James is generally incompatible with quiet, but a quiet courtyard on a May day feels wrong, anyway.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt,” James says, gesturing at the book in her lap. “Well, I did,” he amends, “but I hope my interruption wasn’t unwelcome. It probably was, actually, but I hope it wasn’t a grievous offense.”

“It wasn’t,” Lily says, stretching her legs out in the sun and pointing her feet. “Unwelcome or grievous, I mean. You quite possibly saved my life, remember?”

“I’d say likely, even,” James says, “and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

[all-things-jily]

Hey, James!

Can you tell us how Professor McGonagall confiscated the poem you wrote for Lily.

Come on, tell us what you wrote

James: sorry pal but only me and Lily will know the contents of THAT poem

(ask box is open - I left it unfinished, poetry is hard)

[all-things-jily]

I'm having sm fun going through your petty tag ahaha I came on here to find calming jily recs before bed and instead I'm scrolling though fandom discourse (at least only the correct side ofc😘) and getting riled up what am I doing

AHAHA thank you and I'm sorry? 🤣🤣 That tag does go back months and even years and I can imagine what it must be like to go through all that at once, like a crash course 😂

But I do hope you still found calming fic recs in the end tho and that the initial endeavor did not end pointlessly or with frustration about fandom 😂

[all-things-jily]

Here I am, once again with a @jilychallenge pride month ficlet! Can't deny it, can't pretend, Lily's down bad. IDK this popped into my head and now it is a thing... enjoy, or whatever.

Her hair was messy, it was always messy, and Lily hated it. In fact, she hated it so much that she couldn't stop thinking about it. She wondered what it would feel like to brush it, to run her fingers through the tangled ringlets. 

Sometimes she wondered if she would make a sound, if she ‘accidentally’ tugged at it. Which was a dangerous and slippery thought process. 

Especially now, when Lily was laying in bed, glaring across the room at the light coming from that stupid two-way mirror that she was always talking on. Not that Lily was jealous, she would never be jealous of Sirius Black. 

What did he have that she didn’t? Bar from effortless good grades, conventionally attractive features, and the attention of Potter? Nothing. Well, some things, but at least he made up for those by being funny and actually not too terrible to hang out with.

No, what grated on her most was that he was inseparable with Potter, never letting Lily get a minute in edgewise. It was enough to irk her on a good day. Potter was her roommate, surely that should count for something. They should talk more. 

Perhaps if she would give Lily the time of day—outside of the copious amounts of double-edged words and odd glances—then she did not need to wonder what her hair felt like. 

Then came the laugh again, loud and boisterous; Bright like the sun on a midday in July. Something ugly inside of Lily twisted and no matter how tightly she wrapped herself in her blanket, she couldn’t seem to get comfortable. 

Another laugh and Lily was on her feet, stalking across the room to Potter’s bed, ripping open the curtain with an indignant: “Some of us are trying to sleep, Potter.” Her name coming out a little choked as Lily’s eyes adjusted to the light. 

There she sat, cross-legged and bend all the way forward—the way Lily would sometimes stretch her back—the low light in the room perfectly highlighting all of her soft curves. She was beautiful, it wasn’t a revelation. Lily had eyes, knew Potter was beautiful in her own way; Not the conventional model pretty, but in a sort of untamed, unapologetic way. Right now though, dressed in a silk pyjama set, she could go straight onto the pages of a fashion magazine. 

When Lily was called back to attention, Potter was looking back at her questioningly. “Huh?” was all she managed to vocalize, pretty sure she had missed every single words that had been said after her intrusion. The realization of this making her face flush with embarrassment. 

“I said that I’ll put up a silencing charm if I’m keeping you up,” Potter said and smiled almost apologetically. It was… unsettling, but not unwelcome. 

Lily tried to swallow away the dryness in her throat as she nodded, pushing her sleep braid over her shoulder with nervous fingers. “Thanks, Potter.” Was about all she could manage, her head dipping down now that the embarrassment fully hit. “And… Err… Sorry about that,” she added with a breath laugh before tugging the hangings closed once more and slinking back to her bed. 

There she wrapped herself in her blanket and prayed for her mattress to swallow her up, anything to keep these thoughts away. This realization that maybe, just maybe, she was no better than a boy tugging at a girl's pigtails to get her attention. 

What a mortifying thought

[all-things-jily]

James and his two soulmates

[all-things-jily]

"Lily has more personality when she is relegated to the background irrelevant character to get her out of the way of a crackship, than when she is the main character, protagonist of a story and shipped with her canon husband"

[all-things-jily]

OP I fear that we need to bring these tags to light cause this is the most important part 😌

Cause EXACTLY 🔥

everyone always talks about lily playing with james’ hair but what about the other way around? james constantly twirling it around his fingers when they talk. james brushing it out of her face for her when she’s too focused on a potion to notice it’s about to fall in. lily sitting between his legs while he braids her hair during order meetings because it grounds him as much as it soothes her.

[all-things-jily]

verity fair - a marauders oneshot

james potter and lily evans start to grow closer as they approach adulthood, and feelings between them are developing that they're still struggling to understand. but when severus snape decides to slip some veritaserum into james' drink as a petty means of revenge, truths slip from james before he's ready to admit them.

5.9k words

(@kane5-5)

---

Seventh year was when things started to feel more serious for Lily Evans.

She didn't really consider herself a serious person, she loved to tell jokes and act silly, and she often found herself using things like academics, hobbies, and political activism to put distance between herself and genuine human connection. She was the girl who had everything, the girl who did everything. When people saw her, they didn't detect a trace of vulnerability. And that was because she didn't let them.

At least, she tried not to let them. There was one boy in her life who seemed to see right through her, and infuriatingly enough, that was James Fleamont Potter.

He occupied a little too much space in Lily's mind for her liking, to the point where she could close her eyes and envision a spitting image of him right in front of her. That tall, elegant frame, lithe and strong. That soft brown skin that looked almost milky. Those stupidly huge brown eyes, round as a deer's.

And then, of course, there was his sex appeal. Something that Lily felt awkward thinking about, but once she started, it was hard to stop. How could she not get a little flushed when his long, slender, sweaty hand high-fived her after a Quidditch game, his palm lingering against hers for just a second, enough for Lily to feel their heartbeats pulsing together? Was it wrong to feel a sudden lurch just below her stomach whenever James spoke to her in that pitiful, whiny, pleading tone of his? And those eyes. Even Lily could see how they clouded over, glimmering with devotion whenever they looked her way.

Who wouldn't fall for that?

That was what made this whole situation so frustrating. Of course James was an attractive guy, that couldn't be denied, but Lily often had to remind herself that his personality left plenty to be desired.

He was too smart for his own good, brilliant and arrogant to the point of rolling his eyes and groaning in class because the assignments were too easy. Half the time he did it, Lily wanted to throttle him.

He played stupid pranks, constantly picking fights with her friend Severus, though Lily couldn't deny that it was a bit nice to see Severus fall from grace whenever he made a disparaging remark about muggle-borns. Lily occasionally wondered if James somehow knew how much Snape's comments really got to her. But still, he was rude in a juvenile way, playing immature jokes that were embarrassing to witness.

He was loud, brash and brazen when he was with his friends. Lily often found herself watching the dorky group that called themselves The Marauders. If the four of them had been any less brilliant (or conventionally attractive), they would have been teased mercilessly for such a corny concept. Sirius Black was the ringleader, a boy who Lily respected, but tended to stay away from. He was a powerful force, and an unpredictable one. Lily often felt like she couldn't guess what Sirius would do next, and that was exactly the sort of presence she hated being around.

Unlike Sirius, Lily mused, James was sturdy. He wasn't well-behaved by any stretch of the imagination, but he was tragically predictable. Lily couldn't help but chuckle amusedly as she pondered the way James strolled through life, unknowingly falling into patterns. He was such a smart boy, endlessly bright in all things that could be solved with curiosity. He passed his classes with flying colors without ever opening the book. But there was something about pattern recognition that just escaped the poor guy. And Lily loved it.

She hated the word calculating. When she heard it, Lily pictured narrowed eyes and soft smirks as unsuspecting innocents fell into traps. But she could not deny that to an extent, calculating was what she was. Lily gravitated towards people she could see through.

Perhaps it was a trauma response from her early childhood.

Perhaps it was a lasting effect of being a muggle-born in a world that wanted her exterminated.

Or maybe she was just a bitch.

Either way, Lily couldn't deny such a clear fact about herself. Doing so would be delusional. So she figured it was alright to think about James Potter in such a way for now. It wasn't like he would ever know how deeply he affected her. In a way, this was payback, for his ensnaring her with that stupid, impish little smile.

And besides, everybody had secrets.

If Lily's secrets stayed in her head, then everything would be perfectly fine.

---

"What's the matter, Snivellus? You've always been a hardhead! Now, it's just more obvious!"

James laughed heartily as he watched Severus stumble around the courtyard, a pumpkin encasing his head and preventing him from being able to see in front or around him. Lily rolled her eyes and looked away, hiding a smile behind her book. Melofors. Classic. It was a wonder that Sev didn't see it coming, considering that this was James' third time performing this jinx that month.

"Get rid of it!" Severus snapped, "Now! I'm warning you, Potter, you reverse the spell or you'll regret it!"

James tapped his chin, as if deliberating. His actions were so dramatized that the small crowd that formed around him tittered with laughter at his antics.

"I don't think I will," James declared, "At least, not until you apologize to Lily! I heard what you said to Mulciber about her behind her back, I heard every word!"

Lily couldn't help but peek above her book, her curiosity piqued. She wasn't stupid. She knew that Snape talked about her behind her back. Snape was shy, but he wasn't quiet. Lily had heard her fair share of backstabbing remarks about things so shameful that she couldn't gather the courage to confront Severus about them. How could she when she knew that Severus would only double-down on them anyway?

It was difficult, being friends with a boy like Severus. But at the same time, it was weirdly easier to stay than it was to leave. Lily found herself opening her mouth to fight back against Severus' bigoted views, and then closing it again. Whenever they got into a fight, it exhausted her, and then Severus groveled uselessly until she gave in and forgave him for a crime that he never truly apologized for. It was unfulfilling, but deceptively difficult to break away from.

Though it was grotesque to think about, when James picked on Severus, it was the only time she got to be away from his suffocating, constant presence. It seemed that even when they were apart, Severus' eyes were always on her, but his eyes didn't cloud with adoration the way James' did. They glittered with obsession. And that gaze only tore away when Severus was distracted by James' antics.

"I didn't say anything behind Lily's back!" Snape spat, his voice muffled by the pumpkin over his head.

"Usually, when someone lies, people say that they were caught red-handed, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that you were caught orange-headed," James retorted impishly, before demanding again, "Apologize to Lily."

"You apologize to Lily!" Snape shot back, "You're the one that's always begging her to date you, trailing after her like some lovesick puppy, she doesn't want you, bloke! She's not interested in an idiotic blood traitor like you! It's bad enough she's what she is, and she and I both know that the last thing she needs is someone like you dragging her down farther!"

The courtyard went silent. Not even the birds chirped a single note. Lily felt cold inside. She was suddenly glad that Severus had a pumpkin over his head, for she didn't want him to see the tears that were forming in her eyes.

But James didn't look surprised like the other students in the courtyard did. His large brown eyes blazed, and his lips curled into a snarl of utter disgust.

He muttered the counter-spell under his breath, and the pumpkin fell away, revealing Severus' face once more. James leaned forward, glaring with palpable rage.

Nobody moved. Nobody breathed, until finally, James spoke, his voice low and horrible.

"People like you are the reason why this war is still going on," he said, all mischief gone from his voice. Right now, James Potter was dead serious. "And I don't care what I have to do if it means that you'll never talk that way about Lily Evans or any other muggleborn again."

It was terrifying to see James like this. He rarely lost his temper, always keeping his cool, even during the most intense of pranks. But this wasn't a prank anymore. It was politics, and what's more, it was war. Not even James could joke about what was happening. Every day, people were disappearing. Students, professors, strangers. The papers were filled with obituaries of people who hadn't even reached their twenties.

This was so much deeper than putting a pumpkin on somebody's head.

Severus only backed away a few steps. James glared, and glared, and he did not stop until Severus turned around and walked briskly away from the courtyard.

Everybody else visibly relaxed, starting to talk amongst themselves again, but Lily knew this wasn't over. She could tell by the way Severus' shoulders were tensed up to his ears. He was up to something. But as she stood, a hand gently brushed against her arm, turning her around.

Lily was a tall girl, but James was still taller. He held her steady, and the way he touched her was a sensation that nobody else in her life had ever come close to emulating. James was so...gentle. He touched Lily as if she was the most precious, fragile thing, like he knew how much of a privilege it was to touch her.

Even if it was just a brush on the arm.

Lily went red as she caught herself romanticizing such an ordinary gesture.

"Potter," she addressed, stiffening and looking straight up at him, tilting her head to the side curiously. "Did you want something?"

"Well, sorta," James said, shoving his hands into his pockets. Lily could see as he did this that his whole body was slightly trembling. Most certainly, aftershocks from the interaction with Severus. Lily didn't blame him. She was shaking too, and she hadn't even spoken.

James continued.

"I was wondering if we could study together!" he blurted, "At the library. You make really nice flashcards."

Lily opened her mouth to answer, but James interjected before she could get a word out, as if he was already expecting her to say no.

"I'll bring food!" he said quickly, "I mean- I'm learning how to cook. My mum sent me her family's recipe book, and I've been recreating what I can when the kitchens aren't being used. I think I'm getting better, but I like everything I make."

"And you want me to help you decide if it's actually good or not," Lily finished, sighing as she grappled with the thought.

One one hand, studying with James would be insufferable. The way he flirted with her so openly, it flustered her to no end. She wasn't used to receiving compliments, and James always had hundreds at the ready. And none of them were superficial, either. They were all so real, and that was the worst part of it.

But on the other hand, from a practical standpoint, studying with James was great. He always knew the lessons as well as Lily did, and when she could get him to focus on the task at hand, he was brilliant and innovative in a way that was infectious. And besides, it beat studying alone. Lily always found that she felt more secure in the comfort of a crowd, even when that crowd was only one other person. Being alone was...difficult. Especially right now, when Lily was hearing nonstop news stories about muggleborns going missing. Lily didn't like to admit that she felt safe around James, but it was the honest truth.

It's bad enough she is what she is.

Lily shivered as she remembered what Snape had said about her, and then, her hands tightened into fists.

"Seven o' clock," she said, "Tonight. I'll see you then. Don't be late, alright? And bring plenty to eat. I don't focus well when I'm hungry."

James grinned so wide that Lily wondered if it hurt.

"I will!" he reassured, practically stumbling over himself as he ran off, probably to celebrate with his friends.

Lily sighed as she watched James croon to Sirius about how he had been so suave and charming, how he was this close to getting Lily Evans to notice him romantically.

"I think she might even want to be friends," James reported to a bemused Sirius, who had been watching the whole conversation.

"Well, yes," Sirius affirmed casually, "That tends to be the first step. Not everyone goes for the marriage proposal at first sight like you do, Prongs."

"What do you think I should make?" James implored, "I could make sinigang? No, that's too messy to eat while studying. Lumpia? Agh, that'll take too long, I only have two hours."

Then, James gasped so loudly that Lily was certain that China could have heard it. She almost laughed at how comically animated the boy was. How did he not realize that she was still there?

"I've got it!" James cried out victoriously, "I'll make sorbetes! That's genius! Sirius, isn't that genius? Sorbetes!"

"Sure," Sirius said with a laugh, "I don't know what the fuck that is."

"I'll make you a bowl of it sometime, it's like ice cream," James explained, "What flavor should I make? Does Lily even like sweet things? What's she allergic to? Maybe I should have asked her more questions. I've gotta go, Sirius, I have sorbetes to make!"

As James ran off, compulsion overrode composure, and Lily couldn't control the smile that spread across her face as she called out after the flustered boy.

"I don't have any allergies!" she yelled in James' direction, "And I like sweet things!"

James was so shocked that Lily had overheard the conversation that he stopped running for just a second. And then, he started running again. Faster. Lily laughed out loud at the sight, and her laugh rang clear and true across the courtyard.

"Got it!" James shouted over his shoulder, not stopping as he kept running towards the main doors.

Lily shook her head as the doors swung shut behind the flurry of activity known as James Fleamont Potter. That boy was going to be the death of her. She knew she was playing with fire. But she and James had a good thing going. They both teased, they both entertained each other, but neither stepped over the invisible line. Neither did anything that would suggest a commitment. Lily was sure that James never would.

After all, had Lily ever been wrong about her predictions before?

---

"This is so much better than ice cream."

Lily wasn't usually the type to talk with her mouth full, but in this situation, it was nothing short of a necessity.

James grinned in response as he eagerly ate a spoonful of his own serving. Sitting in paper bowls beside their books were three different flavors of sorbetes: ube, mango, and cheese. Lily couldn't stop eating the ube and mango flavors, but she didn't take a single bite of the cheese one.

It was nothing personal. She just hated cheese.

"Don't worry," James said, as if he was committing to a valiant deed, "I'll eat all the cheese flavor so you don't even have to look at it anymore."

Lily couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled through her lips like a brook.

"What a noble gesture on my behalf," she responded dryly, "Come on. Let's crack these books open."

Studying with James, talking with James like this, felt electric. James' body was so close to hers. He could almost feel the warmth radiating from him. And of course he was wearing that dumb tank top, the one that showed off his arms. They glistened a bit under the library's candlelight, indicating that James was sweating. Lily found herself struggling to focus on her vocabulary, which led to her mixing up definitions and stubbornly insisting that she was correct.

But after about an hour, something about the atmosphere...changed. James didn't talk so much. He didn't even look at his textbook. He just stared at a spot on the wall, his lips pressed together to make a tight line.

His face was bright red, and his eyes were afraid.

Lily had never seen James look afraid before.

She reached over James to take another bite of the mango sorbetes. The light, sweet, slightly tart taste lingered as she let the bite melt against her tongue. Even when she turned away, Lily could sense that James was looking at her. It was an unsettling stare, the kind that was practically tangible.

"We should look at the glossary," she said, her voice stiff in the newly awkward atmosphere, "So we can see if the book mentions bat droppings at any other point. Will you take a look for me, and I'll write down the page numbers?"

James didn't respond. He didn't even make a move to touch his textbook. He was still, staring at her.

"James, you're acting weird," Lily mumbled, "You can hear me, can't you?"

"Yes," James said immediately, "I can hear you. I'm ignoring you."

He slapped a hand over his mouth, seeming shocked and ashamed by his own admittance.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice muffled by his hand, "I don't know why I said that."

Lily's eyes bulged from her head and she leaned forward. On a normal day, getting an apology from James for anything was like pulling teeth. Something was terribly wrong.

"James, are you alright?" Lily murmured, leaning even farther forward and studying James' eyes. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know," James blurted, grabbing his hair with an air of palpable frustration, "I feel like I can't control what I say before I say it, like something's forcing me to just talk without thinking!"

"You always talk without thinking," Lily pointed out.

"But not like this," James protested, "Not like this, I don't usually feel so- so honest! I don't think I'm that much of a liar, but- why did I tell you I was ignoring you? Why would I say something so rude?"

"Because you're rude?" Lily suggested, but she shook her head regretting the joke, "Oh, James, are you crying?"

It was too late. James' large brown eyes were misty. Lily's heart lurched as she watched the boy's bottom lip quiver. James was the kind of crier who garnered pity so easily. Nobody wanted to look at James cry because when they did, it made them want to cry. But Lily felt oddly fascinated by the sight. She only looked closer, tilting her head to the side.

"Yes," James replied, his voice watery and pathetic. He said nothing more.

Well, that wasn't enough of an answer.

"Why are you crying?" Lily prompted gently. "Was it something I said?"

"Ngh- no," James whimpered through his tears, starting to squirm a little in his seat. "I think you're beautiful. I wish I could look at you forever. I want you so badly, Lily Evans, I need you."

The words poured from James, as if an invisible force was pushing them out. James looked horrified as each word spilled from his lips, as if what he was saying was against his will. As if he was in disbelief that he could even express such thoughts out loud.

Lily was just as surprised. Out of shock, she leaned back, away from James. Sure, he was flirtatious, but he had never acted so...desperate before. Was this how James really felt? His voice was so heavy and teeming with earnestness. His eyes glimmered, and Lily could just tell from those eyes that he couldn't possibly be lying.

How long had James been hiding these feelings, these intense, terrifying feelings? Lily could feel the blood rushing to her face, and she pressed her thighs together, unable to help but squirm a little where she sat.

"Need me?" she repeated, "How do you mean- need me, James? What are you talking about?"

"I- I need you in every way, Lily!" James cried out, bursting from his chair and almost crashing down to his knees before Lily, staring up at her. "I need to hear your voice, I need to feel your body on mine, I need to look into your eyes, I need you, I need you so badly, Lily, I'd do anything for you! Anything you asked, I'd do it!"

Okay, now this was just insane.

Lily steeled herself and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to get butterflies in her stomach, but hearing James sound so desperate...no. She couldn't think about herself. Not when something was clearly hurting James. Why else would he be talking with such passion, tears rolling down his face, his eyes wide and terrified like a lost child's?

"James," she said softly, "Do you really not know why you're talking like this? Why you're acting like this? Is this another stupid prank or something?"

"It's not a prank!" James said tearfully, "At least, not a prank that I know of, but I don't know what sort of prank would cause me to act like this- I feel- I feel so scared, Lily, I'm so scared! I don't know why I'm talking like this, I don't know why I'm acting like this, I don't know! I don't know, Lily, please believe me!"

"I believe you," Lily whispered, with tenderness that was so fond and gentle that it surprised herself.

She slowly held her hands out, starting to card her fingers through James' thick, curly, dark brown hair. She parted it neatly, and it stuck up on end again when she pulled her fingers away. But when she did, James keened, leaning forward as if to try and feel Lily's hands on his head again.

"I need you," James whispered again, "Please, Lily, I need- I need you to touch me, I need to feel you, I need to feel your hands on me, I need you to love me, I'll do anything for you! I want you to control me, I want you to do anything you want to me, I want to serve you, Lily! I would do anything if you let me serve you, Lily, I-"

A sudden, sharp laugh erupted from the other side of the shelf near James and Lily's study space. It was a laugh that Lily could recognize anywhere because it was such a rare sound.

It was the signature laugh of Severus Snape.

Lily instinctively reached forward and grabbed James' hands, squeezing them gently. Of course, she knew that Severus seeing James crying was likely one of James' worst nightmares. Boys were like that, sensitive when it came to crying. And as Severus emerged from his hiding place where he had clearly been spying, it was becoming blatantly clear that he wasn't planning on making this easy for James.

"And he calls me Snivelly," Severus said as he stepped methodically into the scene, "What's wrong, Potter? Feeling a little too honest?"

"I want you to go away!" James exclaimed, mortified, hiding his face against Lily's knee. "Please! I don't want you to look at me like this, I know you're going to laugh at me! I want to be alone with Lily again!"

Snape only raised his eyebrows. "And why do you think I would care what you want? You've never cared about what I want. Maybe you deserve payback, a taste of your own medicine. A taste of your own cheese ice cream, if you will."

As Severus said this, the truth dawned on Lily as if somebody had just lifted a sheet to reveal it.

"Severus," she murmured, her voice low and horrified, "You cast a spell, didn't you? You're why he's like this, aren't you? What did you do to him?"

Severus smirked, his eyes dancing with a malicious sort of glee. The sight made Lily shiver and clutch James' hands tighter.

"Isn't it refreshing to learn the truth about a person, Lily?" Snape asked, gesturing to James' sobbing form, "The big hotshot of Hogwarts is really nothing but a pathetic, desperate, horny crybaby. He's a pig, talking about wanting your body like that. You'd think a real gentleman would have more class than that."

"I'm sorry!" James burst out hysterically, "I didn't want to say it out loud!"

"But you did," Severus retorted joyfully, "And it's the truth, isn't it?"

"Yes," James said immediately, "It's the truth."

Lily's head was reeling. Why would James openly admit something so incriminating, with no pushback, no attempt at lying? It was strange, as James had been speaking with such an immediate, almost compulsive candor ever since they started eating the sorbetes. Lily felt as if the world was moving too quickly around her as she raced through all the studying she had ever done. It was growing obvious that Snape had done something magical to harm James, but what on Earth could cause the typically confident boy to act this way? With such grueling, vulnerable honesty?

That was it.

Honesty.

"Veritaserum," she said, staring over at Severus, "How could you, Sev? That's an awful thing to do to someone."

"You think he hasn't done awful things to me?" Snape shot back, "This is child's play compared to what he's subjected me to! Besides, you should be grateful. I did you a favor! I showed you the kind of person James Potter really is!"

"You certainly did," Lily snapped, "You showed me that James Potter is a sweet, gentle, genuine boy when he's vulnerable. You showed me that James Potter loves me. He loves me more than I ever expected him to."

"He loves your body," Snape corrected coldly, "You know what, Lily? I want to play a game."

He turned to James, who was staring at Snape, speechless from shock. Veritaserum. That explained all this perfectly. But the fact that Lily now knew that all of this was the truth, the fact that Snape was watching him fall apart like this, it was clearly a nightmare.

"A game," Severus repeated, "Where you answer some questions I've always wanted to hear you answer. Without your defenses or your little posse following you around."

Lily was frozen in place. She wanted to interfere, but what could she say? Poor James was trembling so hard that he couldn't even stand, and Severus wasn't the kind to give up before getting what he wanted. Her mouth slowly opened, and she tried to summon words from them, but before she could, Severus started his game.

"What turns you on?"

A horrifically vulnerable question to start with. Lily's blood went cold.

"Severus, that's-" she protested, but before she could say anything more, James answered. The magic forced him to answer.

"I never thought to make a list," he whispered, terrified of what he was being forced to say out loud, "I like being controlled. It feels good, thinking about being told what to do, I- I like the thought of making her feel good, of making her happy, of giving her everything she needs-"

"And who would "she" be?" Severus asked teasingly, even though all three of them knew the answer to that.

"Lily."

Lily went bright red, even though she knew what James would say.

"Severus, this is inappropriate," she hissed, "This has gone too far, stop asking James about this, I'm telling you to stop-!"

"Are you a virgin?" Severus asked with fascination.

"No," James whispered, squeezing his eyes shut as the truth was forced from him. "I wanted to practice before going out with someone for real. Sirius taught me tricks. Sirius showed me what to do."

Severus laughed out loud again, a harsh, bitter sound that made both James and Lily flinch.

"What a dirty thing to do," Severus sneered, "Still think he's all gentle and sweet, Lily?"

"Please," James begged, "Stop it, please- don't make me say anymore, I'll do anything you want, just stop- I can't take anymore of this!"

James was embarrassed beyond imagining. Lily could feel his heart pounding in his chest, she could practically see the blood rushing to his ears. She could hear the misery in his voice.

"It's not up to me," Severus shrugged, his eyes wandering to the sorbetes. Another question seemed to come to him in that moment. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't like this!" James sobbed out, "I don't like not being in control of what I'm going to say, I don't like Lily finding out about all of these things about me this way, I'm scared she hates me, I'm scared she never wants to see me again- I don't like talking about sex- I don't like thinking about what I've done and what I like, it feels disgusting! I hate how I feel about sex, I hate it, I hate it- I know I'm a freak, I know I'm disgusting!"

"James," Lily murmured, unable to say anything else as she looked into those beautiful, tragically miserable eyes, "James...James..."

She didn't know what to do or say. Lily wasn't used to being at a loss. Usually, she was the girl who knew all the answers, the girl who could think quick on her feet and come up with a solution to any problem. But no matter how she wracked her brain, she couldn't think of a way to fix this horrendous situation. She couldn't think of a way to make those bitter tears go away. There was no way she could stop this beautiful, brilliant boy in front of her from hating himself like this.

Severus took a few steps back. He seemed to have gotten what he wanted from this exchange.

"Come on, Lily," he said, extending his hand, "You and I can study together. I won't harass you, or use such dirty language around you. We can work on potions together."

Lily's gaze hardened, and something inside her set sturdily. She didn't know much in this moment, but she did know one thing: there was no way in hell that she would abandon James right now, especially not for the likes of Severus Snape.

"Well?" Snape asked, "Don't you want to actually get some work done?"

"Some things are more important than work," Lily said quietly, and very slowly, she got out of her chair, sitting on her knees in front of James, so that they were eye to eye. She didn't tear her gaze from James as she said, "I'll see you later, Severus."

She heard a noise of frustration and loud, angry footsteps as Snape left the library in a huff, but Lily couldn't bring herself to care. Not when James was sitting in front of her, looking so drained, so tired.

James could do nothing but cry. Every time he opened his mouth, only choked noises came out. By now, Lily knew better than to ask any questions. It would only bring about that terrible sensation. That utter loss of autonomy. But Lily did know that she had to say something.

"I..." she murmured, trying desperately to gather the courage to admit what she wanted to admit. After all, if all of James' secrets were out in the open, maybe it was time for one or two of hers to be as well. "I'm not a virgin either. I don't really care about virginity, and- I messed around a bit last summer. It wasn't a big deal. I just wanted...I don't know. I was curious, I guess. A boy was chasing after me, and I just wanted to...understand what it was like."

James stared at Lily, astounded. The sight was almost funny, but Lily didn't dare laugh.

"I'm sorry I freaked out the way I did," he finally whispered, "I'm not trying to be some sort of- purist asshole. I just- I- I'm used to sex being...a shameful topic. Mum hates talking about it, and Dad doesn't let me talk about it because it upsets Mum so much. I hate to make Mum sad, so I just- I don't talk about- about it, and it's easier for everyone. Mum isn't bad. She isn't mean about it or anything but- she used to- before coming here to England- she- had to...sell her body. I think...she doesn't want me to feel how she felt. But- everything she talked about hating is stuff that I- stuff that- that makes me feel good. And I-...I'm so ashamed."

Lily felt cold all over. Oh, God. This went even deeper than she thought. Her poor, sweet boy.

"James, what you like isn't something you choose," she whispered, trying desperately to find the right words, "At least, I don't think it is. I wish I could make you see that- that it really doesn't matter so much what makes you...feel good, like that, but- I know I can't."

"I don't want you to," James blurted, "You shouldn't have to. You're not my caretaker. I don't want you to worry over me. I don't ever want you to worry over me. You already worry so much."

"No I don't," Lily protested defensively.

But James' large, round eyes were brimming with sureness.

"Yes," he said steadily, "You do."

Lily went silent, and so did James. The strange haze in his eyes was starting to go away. His speech pattern was returning to a more normal cadence. It relieved Lily when she realized that the veritaserum was wearing off. The nightmare was over, but there were still the aftershocks to endure.

"I never thought Severus would do something like this," Lily mumbled, "I can't help but feel like this is my fault. If I only-"

"No," James snapped, his tone alarming Lily. "You can't control what Snivellus does. If it's anybody's fault, it's mine. I egged him on. Something about him just makes me so angry, and I've just got to do something to make him shut up, but- it's consumed me. I know it has. I can't say I regret it, but-..."

"I think Severus took this too far," Lily admitted, "Forcing you to talk about-...about such vulnerable stuff while you were so...while you couldn't make a choice for yourself."

"Aren't you freaked out by me?" James demanded softly, "Don't you want to get away from me? Don't you think I'm- pathetic and desperate and- and stupid...?"

"I don't know," Lily whispered, "I don't know what to think right now. But I do know this: I want to stay here with you, James Potter. And you won't be able to get rid of me so easily. Not until I see that smile again, that real smile of yours, like the one you had when you showed me the sorbetes. It's...it's the least I can do, really. You've given me such a nice treat, and...you're a good study partner."

"A good study partner," James repeated, awestruck, "I think you're a good study partner too. You...really want to stay...?"

"I do," Lily whispered.

And little did she know that this would be only the first time she said that sentence to James, and certainly not the last.

For this was the day that Lily Evans and James Potter learned that love doesn't always follow the path of predictions.

[all-things-jily]

At The Beginning

Chapter 13 is up!!! See end notes on AO3 for some news <3

Snippet:

Cataracts was Lily’s observation. Her grandmother had cataracts. Born two centuries too early to be able to prevent total blindness. A storm brewed in her eyes. It made the woman more formidable. Dressed in all black with a black walking stick decorated with a floral gold casing, Marigold entered the room with her head high with the King of France on her arm as he dutifully aided her into a seat.

“I assume there’s been a good reason for disrupting today’s activities,” King Francis said, in heavily accented English.

“Yes, there’s someone I’d like you both to meet.” Rosalyn stood and knelt by her mother, grabbing her hand. “Mama, I need you to listen and really listen. We have with us, James, Earl of Bythersea, and his wife, Lily.”

“You are Euphemia and Fleamont’s boy?” Marigold asked gruffly.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“He’s not so much a boy anymore, mama, and he’s come all this way to tell us something important and before I let them tell their story, I need you to know … I believe she is who she says she is.”

“And who are you?” Marigold turned her face towards Lily. 

AO3

[all-things-jily]

lily, superstar…

and her dedicated photographer

[all-things-jily]

I would love love if you would do prompt 15 with Jily if you’re comfortable! Also I absolutely adore the vibe of your blog, it’s genuinely so cozy

I’m actually so happy someone sent in Jily, they are very near and dear to my heart!! And thank you for the compliment, it means a lot <3

-

| Jily | Prompt 15: Soulmates | Word count: 1,588 | Based on this ask game |

-

The library in the late evening is one of Lily’s favorite places, and her friends are used to losing her for hours at a time while she curls up on a bench by the window, book in hand as the dying light of the day streams through the glass.

Today, however, she doesn’t have a book with her. No, today, she’s staring out at the grounds, lost in thought.

James is being weird. James has been weird all week, ever since his birthday on Sunday, and Lily just can’t figure it out. He’s seventeen now, and he should be excited, shouldn’t he? He’s an adult who can now legally practice magic at home, which means he can get up to all sorts of magical trouble at home as well as at school now.

But instead of walking around with big smiles and even bigger laughs, James has been almost skittish everytime Lily sees him, refusing to make eye contact and having a hard time even putting a sentence together. It’s a big change from how they were before, inside jokes and catching each other’s eye from across the room, working through their past issues to become friends. For a little while, Lily had thought they might be becoming more than friends.

Not anymore, clearly.

She lets out a sigh big enough to stir the strands of hair that have fallen into her face, and she wonders if she hasn’t somehow messed something up. She should really just talk to him, she knows that, but the thought of getting up from her seat and confronting him makes her stomach churn.

The sound of a heavy footstep behind her causes her head to whip around.

It’s James.

Of course it is.

It’s James, and he’s still looking a little skittish and off, hands tapping the edges of a box he’s holding nervously. Lily’s eyes drop to the box, then return to his face.

“Hey,” she says, confused.

“Hey,” he says back with an awkward clearing of his throat. “Can I?” He nods to the space on the bench next to her, and Lily shifts over to make more room.

“Yeah, of course.”

James sits down on the edge of the bench, tapping his foot on the ground over and over, and sets the box down in his lap. Lily follows it with her eyes, not even bothering with pretending like curiosity isn’t eating her alive. This, she knows, is probably an explanation of why James has been so weird, and it’s several days overdue.

“So, uh,” he begins, which is a promising start. “You know the thing?”

“The thing,” Lily repeats, deadpan, and watches as James nods seriously.

“Yes, the thing that happens on birthdays.”

Lily does know “the thing.” James is referring to the game the universe likes to play on all of them, delivering little hints as to who their soulmate is every time they complete a lap around the sun. It’s supposed to get less and less obscure as the years go by, but for her birthday this year, she’d only gotten a small figurine of a deer. She’d had no idea what that could mean, so it’d just gone straight into her suitcase.

Lily looks at the box again.

“Is that…?”

James follows her gaze.

“Yeah, it is. And, well, honestly, I didn’t really want to show you, but Sirius said that I have to, and Remus agreed, and Remus has more common sense than all of us, so—”

“James,” she says, interrupting his nervous rambling. “What’s in the box?”

He takes a sharp breath.

“Um, well—it’s easier if I just show you.”

He reaches for the lid slowly. There’s a slight hesitation before he flips open the lid, trepidation marking his every move, almost like the thing will bite him if he doesn’t move slowly.

Lily tries not to feel disappointed when the angle she’s looking at makes it impossible for her to see inside. Then again, she’s not certain she really wants to see inside, if James is about to show her soulmate clues that probably don’t add up to her and therefore firmly erase the chance for them to ever be more than friends.

It’s fine.

“I don’t have all of them,” James starts to explain as he sorts through the box, clearly looking for something. “I always leave the ones I got before school at home, you know? On a shelf in my bedroom. They aren’t very specific, anyways, so they aren’t really necessary to bring with me—oh, here it is.”

He emerges with a small, gold button. He passes it on to Lily, who takes it and turns it over in her hand. It’s not extremely revealing of anything. Most girls have clothes with similar buttons, and it’s not hard to lose them, either. She raises an eyebrow in James’s direction.

“Buttons aren’t common in standard wizarding clothing,” he explains. “I figured it meant that my soulmate was almost definitely not a pureblood. I was so relieved at that, you have no idea.”

He says it with a grin, and Lily gives him a small smile back. This whole situation is still confusing, but if James wants to talk about his soulmate with her, she can’t blame him. She wouldn’t want to have to talk to any of the other boys about it, with maybe the exception of Remus, and no matter how she might feel on the inside, it’s her duty as a friend to listen to James when he wants to talk.

She hands the button back.

“You don’t strike me as the type to marry your cousin, anyway,” she says.

James’s hand brushes hers as he takes it, laughing.

“Thanks, Lils, it means a lot.”

The button drops back into the box with a hollow kind of noise, and James picks up the next object—a teabag.

James smiles at it as it dangles on the string.

“This one confused me at first, but then Sirius pointed out that it probably means they’re British.”

Lily laughs. “I like that one.”

“Me too,” James replies, and places it back down, beginning to pull things out in earnest now.

He grabs something else, holds it up so that Lily can see it’s a Knut.

“A magical coin for a magical soulmate.”

Logical, Lily thinks.

A letter seal, which, as James puts it, “Has a Hogwarts seal to tell me that they go here.”

Next, a red and gold hat with a lion on it, “To show that they’re in Gryffindor, like me.”

And finally, James goes to reach into the box one last time. But before he actually grabs whatever it is, he hesitates again, and Lily has to push down the urge to peer over to see inside for herself. She’s getting this nervous kind of hope building up in her stomach, and she feels a bit sick with it.

James grabs the object delicately, like he’s afraid of breaking it. A strange sort of silence falls over the two of them as they sit there, James quiet and serious, Lily waiting to see what’s making him act that way, almost holding her breath with the hope that something good happens.

“Close your eyes,” James tells her.

Lily listens.

“Hold out your hand.”

She does.

It’s soft, the way James places the thing in her palm, this underlying sort of reverence in his motions. Lily can feel it even with her eyes closed.

“Open.” He whispers the word hoarsely.

Lily does just that, eyes opening and going straight to her hand, where there’s…

There’s a flower.

There is a flower sitting in her palm.

And it’s not just any flower, it’s—

“A lily,” James says, voice quiet, “to tell me it’s you.”

She looks at him, mouth agape, the back down at the flower. Back to him. His eyes are steady in a way they haven’t been ever since his birthday, and Lily knows he isn’t lying.

“Me?” she asks, dazed.

James nods.

“It only makes sense, really, given that I’ve been in love with you ever since I was eleven.”

Lily laughs, and if it’s a bit wet, who cares. She’s just found her soulmate.

“Come here, you idiot,” she says, leaning forward.

James meets her halfway.

The kiss is soft and sweet and has that same sort of reverence with which James put the lily in her hand, and when she pulls back, it’s with a smile.

“I had no idea you were mine,” she says.

“Really? None at all?” James sounds surprised, but she’s not too worried.

She shakes her head. “It’s pretty hard to guess when the universe decides that your big clue is a deer figurine.”

It’s a little… unexpected, the reaction James has to the word “deer.” He blanches, then coughs awkwardly. Then fidgets on the bench.

“Yes, um, I guess so.” His reply is weird and stilted, and it makes Lily narrow her eyes. She knows him too well by now to not know when something’s up, and she’s not about to let it go that easily. Not when he’s her soulmate.

Merlin, he’s my soulmate.

She pushes it down for a second.

“James,” she says, voice low and serious, “why did I get a deer figurine?”

James clears his throat again.

“Well, you see,” he says, “that’s definitely a story for another time.”

And Lily would press more, she really would, but James is pulling her back in for another kiss and she’s completely helpless not to give in.

That is her soulmate, after all.

-

[all-things-jily]

“Smile here, Mr. Potter!” the photographer calls “This will be in the archives of Hogwarts for forever.”

James grins widely. “Forever? Well, shouldn’t we get one of the Head Boy and Head Girl together, then?”

because magical schools have picture day, too, right?

[all-things-jily]

When the Void Calls, Will You Answer? 

by Yallthemwitches

Summary:

“If anything happens– y’know, to me–will you take care of her?”

The question hangs in the air like smoke.

“Nothing is going to happen to you mate.”

“I know, but I’m speaking hypothetically–”

Frustration rises like a wave in his chest, making him want to strike something hard and deliberate. “And I’m saying hypothetically or not, nothing is going to happen to you.”

[all-things-jily]

Jily, reunion kiss?

Lily stared at the ticking second hand of the clock, watching as it crept further and further past their scheduled meeting time.

They were supposed to meet here. Now. Well—twenty minutes ago.

But not everyone had arrived like they had planned.

Some managed to make it, even if they were a little worse for wear. Even Bones had entered the study inside the predetermined meeting spot, bruised and battered, barely on his feet.

But Dearborn, Vance, and James were still missing.

James. Missing. On a mission.

And Lily wanted to scream. She wanted to smash the damn clock to pieces so it would stop reminding her how much time had passed—and how James still hadn’t come.

“Alright, here’s the plan,” Sirius burst through the door, Peter trailing close behind, twitching as he looked around the packed room full of Order members. “They were the diversion team, right? Leading them southeast, toward Kent. We’ll go and—”

“You aren’t going anywhere, Black,” Moody growled from the corner, where he stood conferring with Frank and Alice. “We all stay here.”

“But James is out there!” Lily snapped, finally peeling her eyes away from the clock. “We can’t just sit here doing nothing—he’d come looking for us!”

“Exactly,” Sirius said, nodding fiercely. “We can’t let him down.”

“This isn’t one of your schoolyard adventures. You aren’t risking detention if something goes wrong. You are risking all our lives,” Moody barked. “This is war. And it’s selfish to get other people killed just because you want to go looking for your friend. That’s not how it works.”

He glared at them both, voice deep like a drum. “Now sit down and be good little children—or I’ll hex your arses to the sofa.”

Sirius looked like he still wanted to argue, but with a tight jaw and a glare at the floor, he sank onto the sofa beside Peter.

Lily returned to her hopeless vigil, eyes fixed on the clock. She tried to sync her racing heartbeat with its steady ticking, hoping the rhythm might anchor her, might quiet the flood of terrifying thoughts—images of James lying still, lifeless, somewhere they couldn’t reach.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Minutes stretched into an hour. Then two.

Eventually, the night surrendered to the pale glow of early morning. Lily was no longer watching the clock. She’d curled up on the sofa, wrapped in Sirius’s cloak, her eyes closed. Sleep came in fragments—light, restless, never deep—punctuated by the sound of footsteps, hushed voices, and that ever-present ticking.

Still no word.

The room had emptied out. Even Peter had wandered off to some other part of the house, muttering something about needing air, or maybe sleep, though Lily doubted anyone in the house would sleep properly tonight.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The clock was relentless. Steady. Merciless.

She knew it was foolish to catastrophize so quickly—but she couldn’t help it. Every logical part of her mind told her to wait, to be patient, to trust him. But logic meant nothing when the minutes kept stretching into hours and the silence remained unbroken.

The fear had started as a low hum in her chest, but now it climbed higher with each passing second, tightening around her lungs and coiling behind her ribs like a vice. It clawed its way up her throat no matter how many times she swallowed it down.

She cursed herself—quietly, bitterly—for not insisting they fly together. They could’ve taken the long route, slower but safer. She should’ve argued harder. She should’ve held his hand tighter. She should’ve—

Her vision blurred. The tears came quietly, without warning, sliding hot and steady down her cheeks. She didn’t bother wiping them away anymore. Her eyes were already red and puffy, raw from the salt and the effort of pretending she wasn’t falling apart.

Whenever she closed her eyes, there he was.

That crooked smile. That mess of windswept hair he never managed to tame. The way he laughed with his whole body, head thrown back, shoulders shaking.

The floorboards creaked softly behind her. Someone entering the room again. She didn’t open her eyes. It was probably Alice who kept checking in on her and Sirius. She’d come in earlier with steaming mugs of tea, and before that, a little plate of toffee and licorice.

But Lily didn’t want tea. Or sweets. 

She wanted James.

Just James.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

She could almost smell his cologne—warm, familiar, a little too strong because he always overdid it. 

“I don’t want tea,” Lily murmured, not bothering to open her eyes.

“You know,” came a voice—familiar, warm, and maddeningly cocky, “not to be terribly dramatic, but I did expect my heroic return to be met with a bit more enthusiasm.”

Her heart stopped. Then raced.

Her eyes snapped open.

And there he was.

James Potter.

Disheveled, smudged with dirt, a large cut on his cheek, and dried blood on his neck. His hair was more unruly than ever, but alive. Smiling at her with that crooked, boyish grin like he hadn’t just scared the life out of her. Like he hadn’t been gone for hours and hours with no word. Like he hadn’t just stepped out of her nightmares and into the room.

She didn’t speak. Didn’t think.

In one breathless second, she launched herself at him, Sirius’s cloak falling from her shoulders like dead weight. She threw her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, burying her face in his shoulder as she clung to him with all the desperate, aching fear she had inside her.

“James! Oh, thank God,” she gasped, her fingers fisted the back of his robes, like if she let go, he might disappear again.

He stumbled back a step with her momentum, but caught her easily, laughing as he held her against him. “Now this is more like what I envisioned,” he said, breathless but grinning.

She didn’t answer. She kissed him instead—hard and messy and uncoordinated, all urgency and saltwater. Her lips trembled against his, and she didn’t care. The taste of him—familiar and real—mingled with her tears.

“You’re back,” she whispered, pulling away just far enough to press her forehead to his. “James, you’re back.”

“I’m back,” he said, brushing his thumb across her cheek, wiping away a tear. His eyes searched hers, softer now. “Of course I’m back.”

His hand slid into her hair, “I’ll always come back for you, Lily. Always.”

She kissed him again, slower this time, more reverent than frantic—she wanted to memorize the shape of his mouth, the warmth of him, the weight of him. 

“I was so scared,” she admitted quietly between kisses “I thought—I thought maybe—”

“You don’t have to think that anymore,” he said, holding her tighter.