allanwaite

[allanwaite]

Probably gonna open asks again but if I get spammed by poor people begging they WILL be closed again

-Love, a tree with no money

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Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag

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My AC broke

I wanna practice fencing but ITS HOT AND I MAY WILT

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??????????????

Urban Dictionary I don’t think that’s it bud. You’ve failed me.

Unc

???

[allanwaite]

Well dang it. I’m TRYING to get thrown in jail here.

It’s fine… I have a plan B. And 2/3rds of a plan C.

Just attempted to assassinate a Council member, feelin’ good

[allanwaite]

Just attempted to assassinate a Council member, feelin’ good

[allanwaite]

thank god im aromantic. i think everyone should get more aromantic

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Hey! I’m not a puppet! No strings on me!

…I’m not actually upset I just wanted to make that joke…

Bonjour à tout le monde! Minerva Paradizo here. Regrettably, despite multiple contributions to the advancement of science, mostly known as a footnote in the life of some Artemis Fowl II. Rest assured this is gonna change, but since Artemis opened a blog, I wondered why shouldn't I do that, too.

Something about me:

180 cm tall, 65 kg (you don't ask a lady, but I tell you myself! See how nice I am?).

pale green eyes, gold blonde hair, freckles (to which I'm quite indifferent, even if I have been told they're cute), glasses, and a younger brother (often to my dismay).

always wear a pendant with an unassuming chunk of rock and silver bracelets. Those who know my story will understand.

birtday is january the 26th

Master's degree in Quantum Physics, Mathematics, Engineering and Criminal Law. PhD in Behavioral Psychology and Chemistry

lives in Tourrettes-sur-Loup, France. Plans to move to Geneva to work at CERN soon.

don't ask me about my mother. Don't even say "mother" around me. Just. Don't. Thank you.

@thesecondartemis-fowl : the badge to the Fairy Kidnappers Club is quite hard to get. Or so I have heard.

@d-butler-at-your-service : what if I told you that I run a book club with one of the most dangerous men alive?

@holly-short-14 : an elf. Yes, they exist! A tentative ally? We shall see.

@angeline-lydia-fowl : Artemis' mother, and possibly the last person I'd have imagined having a Tumblr. We live in interesting times, indeed!

@smart-girl-diana : I'm so absorbed in my work that a sister managed to pop up without me noticing? Hmm. I should stop chastising Artemis for his sleeping schedule, I suppose.

@allanwaite a... wooden-puppet-fairy creature which likes to irk Artemis. Interesting.

///myself///

This blog is run by @laeliana! What can I say, Minerva is my baby. It's my first time running an ask blog so... idk, I'd give it a try? Please be kind and don't expect much ^///^ Also, English is not my native language, so please forgive me in advance for the mistakes that might slip me. I'm tempted to say that Minerva is not a native English speaker, too, but who am I fooling, her English is probably perfect (sigh).

Also, not FT compliant. I'd like to think that series doesn't exist.

See you around!

avatar by @iesnoth, header by me

the ask box is "Whatever"

[allanwaite]

Good. Fakt už jdi do prdele.

And I hope you realize how stupid you look hacking my laptop right now. What??? Going to steal my pirated copy of Castlevania II?? Perhaps my collection of literary essays on Pinocchio would interest you.

You do realize I keep everything of value on a separate drive OFFLINE, certainly. My IP, face, and ID are already on the dark web. Begone, twerp.

Ok so I know you can't cook but can you bake

Juliet told me to reply to this post with, “No, but I devour everyday.”

[allanwaite]

Oh he devours all right. Devours Alex’s cake.

Ok so I know you can't cook but can you bake

Juliet told me to reply to this post with, “No, but I devour everyday.”

[allanwaite]

Whoah- @d-butler-at-your-service you’re so wise :)

I’m always prepared for any potential outcome (I hope) but maybe I should he more careful about being ready- overconfidence is a vice after all.

Butler's Wisdom Wednesday

💡 Tip 1:

Don’t ask if you’re ready.

Ask if you’re prepared.

Readiness is a feeling. Preparation is a choice.

#survivalskillsforcivillians #academylife #bodyguardcore #motivational

[allanwaite]

*slams down door. This is a textpost. Pretend theres a door*

I just realized I can make SO MANY STUPID PUNS.

It’s pride month. I like cards. Do you know what my favorite cards are? the ACES!!!! HA!!!!

…It is currently THREE IN THE BLOODY AM. I have not slept in TWO DAYS. Leave me alone with my terrible puns

[allanwaite]

Happy PRIDE!

Okay that’s my required celebratory post. I’m going to bed now. Good night.

[allanwaite]

*sips tea*

…wait. Is this cannibalism-

*sips coffee*

[allanwaite]

Ah, there’s the wide vocabulary, if only it applied to me and my wooden structure.

Your name, is Artemis Fowl II, king of kings, look upon your works, ye mighty, and despair!

Gods forbid you get a portrait, it will need nail nor rope as it will hang itself for the vile curse of forever bearing your resemblance.

I found you on Pinterest, Mr. Fowl! :D

@thesecondartemis-fowl

[allanwaite]

Yes!! :3

On numerous occasions. With quite a wide vocabulary I might add! :3

I found you on Pinterest, Mr. Fowl! :D

@thesecondartemis-fowl

[allanwaite]

I found you on Pinterest, Mr. Fowl! :D

@thesecondartemis-fowl