allhaileunhae

[allhaileunhae]

For Writers:

Reblog if it’s okay for your followers to leave you an ask telling you what the one thing is they remember you for as a writer.  Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization?  Is it that one weird kink they never thought they’d be into, but oh my god wow self-discovery time?

[allhaileunhae]

Eunhae | #3 | thank you! <3

I love your url, it’s awesome!!!

Also for @ishipthatfishycouple and dear @dalnimhae who is a sweetheart <3 Hope you all enjoy it!

P.S: for everyone else who requested stuff - it’s coming. Just a bit slow because… life.

“Mr. Lee?”

The teacher turns to look at him and Donghae forces himself not to stutter as their eyes meet. As calm and composed Donghae usually is, Mr. Lee’s demeanour can make anyone weak in the knees.  Maybe he should’ve just went to the teacher’s room instead of stopping his teacher in the hallway where everyone who passes would stare at them curiously.

“What is it, Donghae?”

“I was wondering if maybe you need an assistant.”

The teacher is taken aback by the question, one of his brows raising up in curiosity as he answers.

“Not really. Why do you ask?”

Donghae’s fingers twitch, just slightly, urging to twine themselves together in anxiety. He ignores them, choosing to go over his carefully composed answer one last time in his mind before answering.

“Well, since I’m in my last year and will be applying for university soon, I thought it would be a good idea to do some extracurricular activities to add to my application. I think being a teacher’s assistant would point out my capabilities and responsibility better than doing volunteering or signing up for some club’s activities, which can sometimes be considered childish and not be taken seriously.”

Mr. Lee chuckles merrily, clearly amused by Donghae’s seriousness. “You prepared quite the speech, Donghae. How can I say no to that?”

“I’m serious!” Donghae says, frowning and cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“So am I,” his teacher replies, still grinning at him. “I’m sure I’ll find something for you to help me with.”

“Thank you.”

If Donghae’s heart beats a little faster after the talk with Mr. Lee, he blames it on the nervousness.

~*~

One of the most frustrating things about being an 18 years-old teenager is definitely adults not taking you seriously no matter what you say or do. They dismiss you as a kid and yet they expect you to act like the adult you’re supposed to become in just a year’s time span. Perhaps it is teachers who love doing that the most.

Being an 18 years-old himself, Donghae knows this feeling perfectly. And it is, indeed, the teachers who enjoy playing around with the soon-to-be young adults, he thinks as he watches his math teacher walk around the classroom, asking questions, sending students to the blackboard to solve an exercise and making jokes from time to time.

Lee Hyukjae is the youngest teacher in the whole high school, around 27 years-old, and one could easily spot the differences between him and the other, older teachers. Firstly, he actually seems to enjoy teaching, always talking passionately and making sure every single one of the students understand whatever it is that he’s teaching. Sometimes he even transforms boring exercises and problems into games and rewards them with extra points and even chocolates from time to time. Secondly, Lee Hyukjae is handsome and charming and he knows it - not exactly tall, but lean with sharp features, deep, brown eyes, short, black hair always styled nicely, and a smile to die for. He also knows that his students adore him, especially the girls, most of them sighing dreamily or giggling at everything the teacher says. The older usually indulges in their silly “notice me, senpai” games, sending them flirtatious winks or bedazzling smiles. No matter how much the teacher innocently flirts with his students though, Donghae knows the older doesn’t take any of them seriously, because they’re just kids in his eyes in the end.

Donghae’s heart breaks a little more every time he reminds himself of this bitter truth.

Because somehow, since he’s started playing the teacher’s assistant part and spending time with Hyukjae outside of class, he came to understand why most of his fellow students worship him. Teacher Lee Hyukjae is kind, funny, easygoing – a joy to be around, really. He also treats his students like people, not like… students. He is also talkative, always engaging Donghae in smart conversations whenever they prepare lessons together or grade tests.

By the end of the first term, Donghae finds himself stupidly in love with his math teacher.

He knows it’s wrong. He knows nothing good will come out of it. He knows there is no way Hyukjae would ever love him back because he’s just a student.

But if that’s the case, then how come he catches his teacher looking at him in a way he doesn’t look at other students more than often. His eyes linger on Donghae sometimes, his smiles turn into something more than the usual playfulness. And then there’s also the little touches – on his hands when the older hands him something, sometimes on his lower back when he leads Donghae into a classroom in which they can work, even on his shoulders when he’s trying to get the younger’s attention.

Those are not things a teacher does to a usual student.

~*~

“I love you.”

Donghae didn’t plan on saying it. It just kind of slipped his tongue.

Hyukjae looks up at him, speechless and wide eyed. “What?”

Donghae swallows the invisible know in his throat, fighting the urge to run and hide somewhere no one will find him. “I said I love you, Hyukjae,” he repeats, voice nothing but a whisper.

For a minute that feels like an eternity, Hyukjae says nothing. He stares at Donghae like he’s seeing the boy for the first time, not quite sure why he’s there and what Hyukjae should do with him. Then he hums, looking away from Donghae, and forces a teasing smile to appear on his face.

“You and ninety percent of the students I teach,” he says in a tone that should’ve been playful and amused, but one that actually comes out awkward and strained.

It hurts, but Donghae is not one to back away easily.

“I mean it.” He comes closer to the desk, his steps steadier than his voice. “It’s not just a stupid crush!”

The papers Hyukjae stubbornly glares at seem a lot more interesting than Donghae and whatever he has to say all of a sudden. “Yeah, okay…” the teacher mumbles and he’s not making any sense, Donghae thinks, he’s acting like a child who refuses to confront his parents after he’d done something wrong.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair and Donghae will have none of that.

“Look at me!” he demands, voice louder than he intended, but it’s okay, he thinks, because Hyukjae finally does look at him. “Say something, please,” he adds, soft and pleading.

“What do you want me to say, Donghae? I shouldn’t even be having this conversation with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Hyukjae says, exasperated, “You’re my student and you’re ten years younger than me—“

“Nine! I’m nine years younger than you!”

Hyukjae stands up and walks away from the desk, walks away from Donghae, not even bothering to turn around and face him when he talks again. “Is that supposed to make it better? Donghae, don’t you realise—“

“Why are you being like this?” Donghae is almost shouting now, too angry and hurt to care that he’s yelling at his teacher. “I’ve noticed the way you look at me! I’m not clueless, I can tell when someone wants me!” Hyukjae turns to him, schock written all over his face. Donghae does not give him the chance to deny. “And the way you touch me—“

“I don’t touch you!” Hyukjae cuts him off, his voice quiet as to not be heard from outside, but every letter is filled with tension.

“Yes, you do! You touch my hands, and my back, and my shoulders… See, you’re not even aware you do it! It comes natural to you doesn’t it? You do feel something for me!”

“I don’t—“

“DON’T LIE!” Donghae is crying now, his vision is blurred by tears and he’s sobbing more than speaking.

Hyukjae seems to melt at the sight of him, all his defences broken down by Donghae’s pouring tears. He approaches Donghae and stops just in front of him; close enough to touch and yet – he doesn’t.

“Fine,” he says, so quiet Donghae barely hears him over his own crying. “I do… feel something for you.” He sounds hesitant and forced, as if someone is fighting the words out of his mouth. “But, Donghae, this is insane. I’m your teacher and you’re my student and this – whatever it is you want from me – is not proper. We could get into so much trouble, you don’t even know.”

“What can they do? I’m way over the age of consent and I want this—“

“You’re eighteen! You don’t know what you want!”

The words float between them and so does the tensioned silence none of them dares to interrupt. Donghae stares at Hyukjae – at his teacher – in disbelief, those last words hurting him more than anything Hyukjae has said until then. How could I forget, he scolds himself, I’ve always known this, I’ve been repeating it to myself like a mantra.

He had stopped doing it, though. He fooled himself into believing differently.

He forgot that, in the end, in Lee Hyukjae’s eyes – his math teacher’s eyes – he’ll always be just a kid.

~*~

The following eleven days, Donghae skips every math class he has. He also makes sure to avoid that particular teacher at any cost. He’s still angry, and embarrassed, and ashamed – seeing Lee Hyukjae is the last thing he’s willing to endure. He’s angry at Hyukjae for treating him like a kid, he’s embarrassed that he had to go through that, and he’s ashamed of himself for allowing it to happen. It was a mistake to think that Hyukjae is different, that he would understand. No, Hyukjae is just as far up his high horse as the rest of the adults. Donghae learnt it the hard way.

On the twelfth day of skipping math class, Donghae receives a text from Hyukjae, making him regret giving his number to the older. Donghae, it’s been almost two weeks, you need to attend my class no matter how angry you are at me. I won’t even look at you if you don’t want me to, but you have to come back to class, otherwise you’ll fail because of unexcused absence. It’s not worth it.

Donghae wants to cuss at him as a reply. He barely refrains himself by reminding himself that Hyukjae is still, unfortunately, his teacher.

~*~

When Donghae goes to school the next day, he is surprised to find out that a substitute teacher will hold their math classes until the end of the year. That would be three months if Donghae counted correctly the time left until graduation.

“What happened to Mr. Lee?” he asks one of his classmates.

“No one really knows, we were only told he’s on a sick leave.”

Donghae feels his stomach clenching in worry. He has the urge to just text Hyukjae and ask if he’s okay, but then he remembers he’s only one student out of many and it wouldn’t be proper. Donghae finds himself wondering about what is proper and what’s not often since his fight with his teacher.

~*~

The three months pass slowly and uneventfully. Donghae thinks of Hyukjae during every math class, missing the teacher’s jokes and fun ways of teaching. He even misses him flirting with the girls.

When the graduation day comes and everyone gathers for the ceremony, Donghae’s heart skips a beat when he sees Hyukjae sitting with the other teachers. The older is wearing a neat, black suit, and he looks as handsome and prim as always. Come to think of it, Hyukjae doesn’t look like someone who’s been sick for three months.

The ceremony is long and boring. Everyone is relieved when it finally ends. Donghae hangs around a little longer, saying goodbye to his classmates and taking pictures together. They make plans to meet each other from time to time and then they go their separate ways.

“Donghae.”

He freezes when he hears the voice he last wanted to hear behind him. Donghae turns around out of politeness, but keeps his eyes focused on the ground.

“Mr. Lee.”

Hyukjae scoffs and Donghae can see him rolling his eyes even without looking at him. “That’s not what you called me the last time we talked.”

Donghae blushes, trying hard not to think of how he boldly called his teacher by his first name, but failing epically, the whole moment replaying inside his head like a sad, embarrassing movie. “You made it pretty clear then that you’re my teacher and I’m your student. I’m abiding by it,” he grits through his teeth, hoping he’s sounding as salty as he feels.

“Come on, don’t be like this.”

“Like what, exactly?”

Hyukjae sighs. Donghae pretends not to notice. If Hyukjae thinks of him as a kid, then that’s exactly how Donghae is going to behave.

“I know that you’re mad at me,” Hyukjae says, “and you have every right to be. But if you won’t let me have a proper conversation with you, then I’m walking away right now.”

Just go then! Donghae wants to scream it to the elder’s face, maybe even stomp his foot to make a statement – but that’s not what he truly wants. He hasn’t seen or heard anything of or from Hyukjae for three months. The fact that his teacher looked for him today and wants to talk to him must mean something.

Donghae wants to know what it means.

And so he finds himself following Hyukjae to an empty classroom.

“I heard you’ve been sick,” he mumbles when they enter a classroom, avoiding the elder’s gaze.

Both of them keep standing, leaning against different desks, a considerable distance between them.

“I’ve been just fine, thank you,” Hyukjae says, surprising Donghae enough for the younger to look at him.

“Why did you take a sick leave then?”

“Because I knew there was no other way for you to go back to math class. I have a doctor friend, he made up a disease for me and gave me the necessary paperwork.”

Donghae stares at him dumbfounded. “That’s so reckless! If anyone found out you could’ve been fired!”

“And seeing you behind the whole school’s back wouldn’t have?”Hyukjae stares back at Donghae, challenging him to say otherwise. Donghae can’t – because Hyukjae is right. Seeing as Donghae can’t find anything to say, the teacher continues. “I chose the lesser evil. I still believe I made the right choice.”

“I… I think so too, now,” Donghae finally replies with a meek voice. He’s done a lot of thinking since his fight with Hyukjae and reached the conclusion that, even though it was hurtful of the elder to say what he had, it had definitely been the right thing to reject Donghae. Both of their futures could’ve been ruined just because Donghae had been… too much of a teenager in love. “I’m sorry for the way I acted.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Hyukjae says. He gazes right into Donghae’s eyes as he does and Donghae feels the sincerity behind his words. “I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your age like that. Just because you’re young it doesn’t mean you’re not responsible for what you say or do. It just seems like that to adults most of the time.” Donghae smiles bitterly at this, understanding it perfectly well. “I was trying to tell you that, were we to be found out, it wouldn’t have mattered what you said. They would’ve blamed and punished me for it anyway because I’m the older one, I’m the adult and I should know better than to have a relationship with a student. Being an adult is not easy either, you know?”

The innocent joke manages to pull a small smile from Donghae. “I understand.”

“I know it sounds selfish, to hurt you in order to protect myself—“

“No, I get it,” Donghae says, looking back at his teacher, trying to reciprocate the honesty he received from the elder. “I wasn’t listening. I was only thinking of what I wanted. I learnt my lesson now – I should thoroughly think of the outcome and consequences first before acting. Look before you leap, right?”

Hyukjae chuckles, his smile not yet reaching his eyes, but it’s a start nonetheless. It meant they were on the right path of reconciliation.

“That would be ideal, yes,” he says. He extends a hand towards Donghae and, though surprised and hesitant, the younger takes it and allows Hyukjae to pull him closer. He doesn’t let go of Donghae’s hand when the younger stops in front of him. “It’s not proper for a teacher and his students to be in a relationship. It will never be and we can’t change that.”

“I understand,” Donghae says. He’s said it before but he wants Hyukjae to know that he means it.

“Good.” Hyukjae squeezes his hand, the playful smile he usually wore making its appearance, at last. “I guess it’s a huge relief for the both of us that you’re not my student anymore, starting tomorrow.”

Donghae smiles back, a little bashful, but extremely happy. Feeling a little daring, he finds it in himself to put his arms around Hyukjae’s neck and hide his flustered face in the elder’s neck. Hyukjae embraces him back, warm and protective and everything Donghae needs to feel in that moment.

Fun fact: my grandparents from my father’s side had been a living student/teacher AU. My grandfather was my grandmother’s language teacher lol and there was a huge age gap between them, around twenty years I think. How they ended up married and with two kids, I don’t know until this day because I’m not that close to my dad to ask. 

Anyways, there are probably some mistakes which I can’t correct right now because it’s two in the morning and I’m writing like a kid who just discovered a keyboard…

[allhaileunhae]

eunhae, 3? :D i loved your ghost/living person au btw, i was feeling totally unmotivated in writing but that really got the feels rushing in <3

Thank you, that's so heartwarming to hear! <3 I'll be writing it soon (hopefully) ^^'''''

[allhaileunhae]

ma-jewelry reblogged your post “Eunhae, 41 :3”

Awww I’m glad you liked it ^^ I thought about a possible continuation as well, but I’d continue with the comedic/fluffy approach tbh, I’m not feeling the angst right now lol anyway maybe someday, when I’m free of university, I’ll do it ^^’’’’’

[allhaileunhae]

Eunhae, 41 :3

Thanks, hope you like it! And a happy new year! ^^

Hyukjae had never believed in ghosts.

Until he became one, that is.

He doesn’t know how it happened, all he remembers is that one second he was sleeping peacefully and the next he was staring at his lifeless body from a distance. He was a college student, a few months past twenty years-old, living in the university’s dorm. It was quite terrifying, really, waking up as a ghost, he recalls being very confused at first and then bursting out crying because he was too young to die and his family would be devastated. And they were – Hyukjae witnessed it all from his dorm room: his parents coming to collect his belongings, his mother breaking down and his father trying to console her, silent tears flowing from the man’s eyes as well. Hyukjae expected to be overwhelmed himself by such a scene, but, as he soon learned, nothing really affects you when you’re a ghost. You’re dead. That’s all there is to it.

He also doesn’t know why he’s stuck as a ghost. They say ghosts are the spirits of those who passed and left unfinished business behind. Hyukjae is pretty sure he didn’t leave anything unresolved except for... well, the rest of his life. Maybe that’s it – he’s been so frustrated and angry that he died so young that he refuses to fully leave.

So it happened that for the past fifteen years Hyukjae has been haunting his old dorm room. He’s been having quite a blast terrorizing the poor students who took his place – breaking their mirrors, misplacing their stuff, opening doors, and causing all kinds of sounds or accidents to happen. His favorite thing to do, though, is making the students think they’re crazy by doing absolutely nothing when they brought other people over to prove that there is, in fact, a ghost haunting the room.

He doesn’t feel guilty at all. He’s a ghost, he doesn’t feel anything really. Besides, it’s not like he can get punished for it – he’s dead.

For the first time since he started doing it, though, Hyukjae now finds himself staring, completely astonished, at the mess that is the new student occupying his room. Hyukjae can’t do anything to this new student, because the boy is perfectly capable of fucking up the whole room by himself. Donghae – Hyukjae glimpsed at the student’s ID for the name – is by far the clumsiest and the most hopeless human he has ever seen. As he watches the boy forgetting to set up his alarms, spilling food and drinks everywhere, bumping into every surface there is, and losing most of his belongings – how do you even lose something in a cramped dorm room??? – Hyukjae can’t bring himself to bring more misery to poor Donghae, so he settles for watching and feeling sorry for him. The student is quite a sight for sore eyes, all sparkling eyes and pretty smiles. His voice is very nice as well, deep and smooth and Hyukjae loves listening to him talking on the phone. Hyukjae wistfully thinks that he would totally date Donghae... if he wasn’t dead.

But as faith will have it, Hyukjae is dead and he can’t date pretty Donghae, sadly. What he can do, he decides, is at least help the boy. Hyukjae has never heard of good ghosts before and he wonders if he’ll become the first benevolent ghost in history. He starts finding whatever Donghae keeps losing and placing them so the student finds them, moving around the furniture whenever Donghae is about to bump into something, and Hyukjae even makes sure to make Donghae’s alarm ring at just the right time every morning. After two weeks of doing this, Hyukjae catches Donghae look around his room with a puzzled expression, not looking for missing stuff, but as if trying to spot someone secretly living in the same room as him. Hyukjae only sighs, wishing he could somehow interact with Donghae, let him know that there really is someone there with him, watching over him. He can, Hyukjae thinks, if he really wanted to, but he has the feeling it’s better for both of them to keep watching from afar.

If Hyukjae feels a sudden rage taking over him when Donghae brings someone into his room one night, he chooses to ignore it in favor of returning to his “keep Donghae from hurting himself” duties.

Hyukjae finds himself mulling over ways to hurt the intruder without Donghae noticing when said student asks a question that has both his friend and Hyukjae widening their eyes.

“Hey, do you think ghosts are real?”

Hyukjae gulps, frozen above Donghae’s bed, where he was previously hovering around.

Donghae’s friend looks at him weirdly for a few seconds before answering. “Only if you believe in them, I guess. Why do you ask?”

“It’s nothing, just...” Donghae mumbles, playing with his fingers, “I could’ve sworn the furniture moves around sometimes, my phone starts ringing in the morning without me setting the alarm, and I always find my things just conveniently lying around.”

“What’s so weird about conveniently placed things?”

“It’s weird because I always misplace them!”

His friend hums thoughtfully for a moment.

“You know,” he says slowly, as if not to scare Donghae, “every student who lived in this room before complained about ghosts and asked to be moved. They were pretty scared, but no one really believed them.”

Hyukjae can’t help the smug grin that tugs at his lips, reminiscing about the good, old days.

“I’m not scared, though,” Donghae says, making Hyukjae’s dead heart flutter. “It’s weird, but I feel like if there is a ghost, it’s trying to help me, not scare me away.”

His friend shrugs. “Yeah, weird.”

The conversation is dropped and the two boys return to whatever they were doing before this.

When Donghae gets into bed that night, Hyukjae watching him fondly, he hesitates, just a little, before speaking in a meek voice.

“Uh... mister ghost, if you’re there, thanks for taking care of me.”

When he wakes up the next morning, Donghae finds a little piece of paper on top of his phone. He gasps as he reads the you’re welcome scribbled on it and then looks around the room with a smile as bright as the one Hyukjae is wearing while gazing at him.

[allhaileunhae]

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I'LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

soulmates au

childhood best friends au

teacher/student au

teacher/single parent au

one night stand and falling pregnant au

meeting at a coffee shop au

fake relationship au

roommates au

meeting online au

high school popular kid/nerd au

partners in crime au

writer and editor au

co-stars au

lab partners au

meeting in the E.R/A&E au

brand new neighbours au

meeting at a party whilst drunk au

waking up with amnesia au

parents meeting when they take their kids to class au

dysfunctional relationship au

best friends sibling au 

two miserable people meeting at a wedding au

meeting on a train ride au

literally bumping into each other au

librarian/avid reader au

sitting on the same park bench au

meeting at a support group au

knocking on the wrong door au

going away to war au

tourist/knowledgeable local au

prostitute/client au

doctor/companion au

celebrity/fan au

meeting at a masquerade ball au

one of them trying to get the other one off of drugs au

living in a society where their love is taboo au

meeting in prison au

cop/person getting a speeding ticket au

long distance relationship au

exes meeting again after not speaking for years au

ghost/living person au

star-crossed lovers au

falling in love with their best friend’s partner au

one of them being diagnosed with a terminal illness au

pretending to hate each other au

nanny/single parent au

meeting at a festival au

meeting again at a high school reunion au

boss/intern au

going through a divorce au

[allhaileunhae]

Part 1

Oh, Death

Link: AFF

Summary: Bad tidings from across the borders and rumours of an upcoming war have the Elf Donghae and his dwarf companion, Kangin, investigating and keeping an eye out on the surroundings. That is until a flock of crows ruins their plans.

Genre: Middle Earth/Lord of the Rings AU, adventure, romance and whatnot.

Rating: light smut (probably).

Lyrics: O’ Death, Jen Titus

[allhaileunhae]

Til Death Do Us Part (Or Brings Us Together)

Link: AFF

Summary: Bad tidings from across the borders and rumours of an upcoming war have the Elf Donghae and his dwarf companion, Kangin, investigating and keeping an eye out on the surroundings. That is until a flock of crows ruins their plans.

Genre: Middle Earth/Lord of the Rings AU, adventure, romance and whatnot.

Rating: light smut (probably).

Lyrics: O’ Death, Jen Titus

[allhaileunhae]

Happy EunHae day!!!

Enjoy ^^

Hyukjae?

                                                                                                      Yes... ?

Remember our discussion about getting a dog? ^^

      How can I forget? I told you we can’t have a dog yet and you cried -_-

^^’’’’’’

Yeah, about that...

Hyukjae stares at the golden fluff ball Donghae sent in a picture, feeling a headache already coming.

                                                                                                     Donghae...

Isn’t it the most adorable creature you ever laid eyes on???

Because I think it is!!!

I named him Yellow ^^

                                                                                         Don’t name him!!!!!!!

Well ... Fine, I guess I can wait to hear your opinion too ...

Tho I think Yellow fits him :<

Cuz he’s a golden retriever

Get it? HAHAHAHA

                  That’s not the point. Don’t name him at all! We can’t keep him.

                                                                                                         Donghae

                                                                                                         Donghae

                                                                      DONGHAE DON’T IGNORE ME

~~~

As 5pm rolls around, Hyukjae leaves his office, taking advantage of the forty minutes he has to ride the subway to carefully plan out what he’s going to tell Donghae when he gets home. He’s pretty sure there’s going to be a lot of arguing and probably some crying so Hyukjae has to steel himself in order to not give in to his lover’s whim.

It’s not that Hyukjae doesn’t like dogs. In fact, Hyukjae loves dogs. He adores them! It’s just that they’re in no condition to accommodate one right now. He and Donghae have just moved in together two months ago in a two-rooms apartment and Hyukjae is sure the landlord hates them already. He knows why – two decent men in their thirties moving in together? Yeah, not obvious at all. They should be thankful the old geezer let them stay despite being a homophobic asshole, not get even deeper on his bad side by bringing a dog. A big-sized one even.

They would get a dog someday for sure, but after thoroughly planning and consideration. Hyukjae is not a fan of surprises and spontaneity. He needs to have a plan for everything, prepare in advance, or else his anxiety would “rocket into the outer space”, as his boyfriend once joked. Donghae, on the other hand, is the total opposite. He’s all spontaneity, surprises and everything Hyukjae would never expect. How they managed to put up with each other for three years, Hyukjae will never understand. Maybe that’s what love is all about, he thinks, a grin spreading on his face.

That dog still has to go, though.

~~~

“But, Hyukjaeeeee...”

Donghae is kneeling on the sofa with the puppy in his lap, looking ready to shed tears any moment, which Hyukjae finds ridiculous for a 32 years-old. Even to this day, Hyukjae hasn’t figured out if Donghae really feels like crying all the time or he’s just doing it to emotionally blackmail Hyukjae into giving him whatever he wants. Whichever it is, it works 99% of the time. Not this time, however.

“Donghae, we talked about this.” Hyukjae paces around the small coffee table, looking anywhere but at his boyfriend and the small fluff ball on his legs.

“But look at it!” Donghae shoves the poor puppy in his face. “It’s so small and fluffy and adorable.”

Hyukjae reluctantly takes the animal from him, cradling it to his chest and absentmindedly petting it. He only now notices the bandaged hind leg.

“It is small and adorable now but what are we going to do when it grows? Will you be willing to give it away then?”

“Of course not!”

“Look around you! He won’t even have space to move!”

Donghae does look around with a dejected pout on his face. “We can re-arrange the furniture a bit. We don’t need that coffee table anyway.”

“We can’t re-arrange anything, Donghae, because this apartment and this furniture are not ours to re-arrange. Did you perhaps forget we’re renting?” Hyukjae sighs, turning his attention to the puppy now chewing on his tie. “The landlord would never allow us to keep a pet anyway. We’d just give him a reason to kick us out other than, you know, being gay ...”

“We can save money until it grows and move somewhere else,” Donghae suggests, hope shining in his eyes. How he can come up with a solution for everything is beyond Hyukjae. Especially because most of those solutions are not practical, doable solutions. “We can buy a house.”

Hyukjae scoffs at that. “And how are we going to do that exactly? I’m an editor for a magazine that barely sells and you’re a delivery man. What are we going to do, starve and not leave the house unless it’s for work? That’s not the life I want to live, sorry.”

“Well, I don’t want to give up Yellow!”

“Where did you find it anyway?”

Donghae comes closer and starts petting the dog, a loving smile blossoming on his handsome face. Hyukjae allows himself to forget about the problem at hand for a bit and just gaze at the beautiful view. Can he really deprive his boyfriend of this little source of happiness?

“I think someone abandoned him by the bus station. He was all dirty and limping, I couldn’t just let him there. I took him to a vet, got him fixed and came home.”

Hyukjae puts his free arm around Donghae, bringing him into a hug, the puppy squished in between them. He sighs, knowing that he’s fighting a losing battle and Donghae will have his way one way or another.

“Fine,” he says, giving up entirely. “Fine. But if we get kicked out I’m leaving you on the streets with him and I’m moving in with my mom.”

Donghae laughs loudly in his ear and Hyukjae chuckles along with him, feeling like he has done the right thing despite everything. “Your mom won’t take you in, she’s still mad at you for dating a man.”

“Guess we’ll just be homeless then.”

“I’d be homeless with you and not regret a single minute of it,” Donghae says and leaves several kisses on his neck. The playful mood seems to have dissipated and Hyukjae knows Donghae is grateful for agreeing to the puppy in the end. Hyukjae also knows Donghae loves him a lot. Just like he loves Donghae.

The puppy finds Hyukjae’s tie and starts pulling it with his tiny fangs, piercing through the fabric.

Hyukjae glares at him. “Yellow. What a lame name,” he says.

Donghae playfully hits his back. “Yellow loves you too.”

Jfc it’s been ages since I’ve last written anything. I just can’t bring myself to. I think this is the longest I procrastinated anything. I had to guilt-trip myself into writing this short, crappy thing.

Oh, well ... hopefully this will help me kickstart my writing again. I’ll try again tomorrow lol

Sorry ^^’’’’’’

[allhaileunhae]

Drabble Challenge! #1 - 150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

Take the long way around

Can you shut up for five minutes, please???

He’s been gone for quite a while

I can’t see anything.

I heard a noise.

Scary movies are for chumps.

You’ve gone to the bathroom fifty times today.

The floor is lava.

Where’s my food?

I bet you feel like an artist

Did you ever clean the attic?

Can I be of assistance?

Get out of the way before I murder you.

I think you forgot who wears the pants in this relationship

You’re breaking my heart, babe.

Cry me a river.

Build a bridge.

Get over it.

Another credit card?!

It’s just rain, you aren’t gonna melt!

When’s the last time YOU cleaned the bathroom?

I don’t know why I married you.

Have you ever lied to me?

If I trip over one more of your shoes, I’m throwing them all away.

Aren’t you supposed to be the adult?

I’m stuck! Help me!

I swear, I’m not scared.

What do you think a cupholder is for?

You know when your phone buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?

Turn that sh*t off!!!!

When’s that last time we went on a date?

I thought you didn’t like cats?

The door’s locked.

Remember when you were a kid and you ______ (insert memory)

I’ll just tell your mom on you.

I thought you were nice.

I had a dream about you.

I work pretty hard around here, but you get all the credit

What color do you like better?

Am I your husband or your taxi service?

Take notes, sweetheart.

This is where you impress me, right?

Pick up lines only work when I’m drunk.

I can’t believe you didn’t remember

If that makes me a child, so be it.

I could beat you up, you know that right?

Would it kill you to help people?

I bet you can’t go 24 hours without cussing.

But, I said I love you.

Is it just me or is cold as hell in here?

I’m not weird, you’re just basic.

Just sleep with one eye open, that’s all I’m saying

Take off your shirt.

Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?

Way to go, kid.

I found the candles, we’ll be alright.

We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.

You’re never this quiet, what’s wrong?

…or we could make out….

I said “I HAVE AN IDEA!”

Down the hall, second door on the left.

I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mom warned you.

Sit still, for the love of all that is Holy.

Are you even human?

We’ll talk later.

K.

I’m afraid.

I thought there was time.

Can you just leave me alone?

I’ll carry it.

We’re not ‘fine’.

Are you really taking his side right now?

I like proving you wrong.

Girls can’t drive, plain and simple.

Who are you?

I think you need stitches

Must be a coincidence

Can you be romantic for once?

This is your fault by the way.

Nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise.

Excuse me for falling in love with you.

I have fans. More fans than you to be exact.  

I paid for half and you ate three-quarters.

I knew you’d be mad.

If you die, I’m going to kill you.

You’ve never smoked anything in your life.

You gave me a black eye.

Stop looking at me like that, weirdo.

What if it sinks?

Birds can’t fly without wings.

Sorry I’m protective over the things I love.

That SOOO classifies as a date.

No backsies.

You’re an idiot. I married an idiot.

I never liked it, I lied.

Remember, we have to get up early tomorrow.

Are you trying to flirt? Because, you’re embarrassing yourself.

Remember when we were dating and you _____

Be brave, sweetheart.

I’m sorry, but that was adorable.

You don’t hate me, quit lying to yourself.

You hear that? That’s the sound of my awesomeness.

She’s my daughter, I can read her diary.

That’s a fact, Jack.

Actually, I couldn’t care less.

I try my best.

Doesn’t make a difference to me anyways.

I’m glad you’re mine.

You look pretty good for your age.

You passed out for like an hour.

Delete it. Now.

You’re a jerk.

Are you high?

No, you’re MY bitch.

Ew ew ew. You’re so gross.

Spare change for the poor and lonely.

She’s 6, how can she scare you?

When’s the last time we ______

He’s spoiled rotten.

I can’t stay long.

There’s nothing we can do.

Do you ever stop smiling?

Step aside and watch a pro.

Never give him stuff like that!

You’re the one who left it laying around.

I’m a lucky girl. I’ll admit that.

Teach me how to play?

It’s called a prank.

Well, you’re a prick.

Good, I hope you feel bad.

You have cold, you’re not dying.

I have reasons. You wouldn’t get it.

I hope you have a cold shower.

You don’t mean that.

Sing to me, please.

Did you enjoy yourself last night?

Why do they behave for you?

Stop making your own rules.

Don’t open an umbrella in the house.

You know what happens when you assume things.

That’s open for discussion.

Oh, what a shocker, you have an excuse.

Be serious for two minutes, please.

I cheated.

What’s the biggest lie you ever told?

Pillows are over-rated.

Zombies aren’t real, I promise.

Are we lost or do you know where we are?

We started with one and now we have seven. You have no chill.

*Make up your own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

[allhaileunhae]

would you mind to write a deaf!au? Thanks! :)

I am so so so so sorry for taking this long to write this for you. I don’t usually take more than a week to write requests, but you’ve kinda caught me in the middle of exams and then it took me a while to get my writing “mojo” back. I hope you’re not too mad at me. And I hope you like it.

A/N: Obviously I am not deaf, nor do I know anyone who is. I’ve written this based on what I read online so if you notice anything wrong with something I said, maybe some offensive word I used or described things in an unbecoming way, please correct me. Call me out on it. I want to be educated. Also, I apologize in advance if I did.

Donghae is woken up by aforeign hand shaking his shoulder. He struggles to open his eyes and make senseof what’s happening, but the drowsiness keeps him unsteady between dreams andreality; the dead-like silence doesn’t help one bit. The hand on his shoulderpersists and with another shake Donghae eventually opens his eyes. Soft, butconcerned, brown eyes greet him and the stranger seems to be talking to him,but Donghae can’t focus on his lips’ movement. He picks himself up from thecomfy pillows, too sudden maybe - the book that lay forgotten on his chestthumps to the floor. Donghae panics, but before he can bend to pick it up, thestranger who woke him up has already retrieved it.

“Sorry,” Donghaemutters, biting his lip. He looks up at the guy, recognizing him as one of thestaff. Hyukjae his name-tag says - but Donghae already knows that; he’sbeen observing the young man ever since the first time he’s seen him.

Hyukjae opens his mouth andDonghae makes an effort to understand the string of words coming out of hismouth.

Learning to somehow readlips was the only thing Donghae did to adjust to his new life. The first timehis parents tried to communicate with him after he lost his hearing it was bywriting. His mother wrote on a small notebook what she wanted to say. Donghaetook the notebook and teared every single page in it to small shreds and thenleft the mess on the living room’s floor for his mother to clean. Thinking backto it, Donghae feels guilty and ashamed of his behaviour. His mother didn’tdeserve that. Donghae felt so humiliated though that everything turned red beforehis eyes. He hasn’t spoken to his parents since then.

“- you allright?”

“I’m fine.”

When Hyukjae widens hiseyes a little, Donghae guesses he said that louder than necessary. He cursesmentally, hoping for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

Hyukjae nods and speaksagain. This time, the phrases are longer and spoken too fast for Donghae tocatch more than a few words.

“… closing time …be okay … home by yourself.”

Donghae tilts his head tothe side, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. He ties the words togetherand lets out - what he hopes is - a hushed “I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then. Goodnight.”

Donghae leaves withoutanother word, feeling stupid as hell. As if being miserable all the time isn’tenough, he thinks as he exits his favourite book store. No, he had to embarrasshimself in front of his crush as well.

Oh, well … just anotherthing to add on my “I hate my life” list: will never get a boyfriend.Just under “will never make new friends”.

The thing is, Donghae isdeaf. He has been for the past six months. He’s not ready to come to terms withthe fact yet, though. He’ll probably never be - ready to accept that his lifehas been ruined before even properly starting.

For the past six monthsDonghae has been running away from concerned family and friends. Everyday assoon as he wakes up he goes to the book store near his home and isolateshimself in fantasy worlds. He knows everyone is worried about him, but theirworry is slowly killing him from the inside. He feels the need to be somewherewhere no one knows him - or his problem.

The book store has turnedout to be the perfect escape; not only because of the cosy atmosphere and goodbooks - because of Hyukjae as well. Donghae doesn’t even know the guy, but helikes to admire him from afar. He often peeks at the brown-haired boy inbetween the lines of the books, watches as he helps customers or tidies theshelves. Donghae doesn’t know what it is about Hyukjae that caught hisattention – maybe the lean, bony figure and the sharp jaw, the single liddedeyes that looked absolutely gorgeous contoured by eyeliner and the thick lipsor maybe the jet-black hair that contrasted strongly with his skin - but hewelcomes the distraction. He may be deaf and his life may suck, but at least hecan still check out handsome guys from a distance.

~*~

Donghae movesalong the shelf absentmindedly, looking for a new book, but not really feelinglike reading anything. He has been feeling under the weather since he firstopened his eyes that morning and all he wanted to do was stay in bed all day.But then he wouldn’t have been able to avoid his parents so he dragged himselfout of bed, put on some clothes and run away.

From the corner of his eyes Donghae seessomeone approaching him. He turns his head — and stops breathing. Hyukjae is the one coming towards him.Panicking, Donghae grabs the first book he sees and buries his head in it,pretending to read. He stares blankly at the pages, waiting for Hyukjae to passby him.

Hyukjae does not pass by him. He stops infront of Donghae, shortening the boy’s life by at least ten years. Scared thatHyukjae might be talking to him, Donghae anxiously raises his head from thebook. Hyukjae is indeed talking to him.

“Sorry, what?” Donghae murmurs, avoidingthe other boy’s eyes, but staring intently at his lips. His heart is beating sowildly, he wonders if Hyukjae can hear it.

“So you’re into this kind of stuff?”Hyukjae’s lips move fluidly, stopping in the shape of a teasing smile.

“Huh?”

Hyukjae points at the book Donghae isholding and Donghae turns it around, releasing a sound that he guesses might bean embarrassed squeak.

Fifty Shades of Gray.

“No!” He rushes to stuff the book on theshelf, between the others. He might’ve bent a page corner or two in his haste.He hopes Hyukjae didn’t notice. “No, it’s not like that! I … I was just …”

He turns his back to Hyukjae and burieshis burning face in his hands.

Way to drop your chancesfrom zero to below zero,he thinks, mortified by what just happened.

He stays like that for a few moments,praying that Hyukjae will walk away and leave him alone, but then gentle handstake a hold of his shoulders and turn him around. Donghae is too surprised byHyukjae’s boldness to react. That’s not something you do to someone you justmet. When he’s facing Hyukjae again, Donghae notices the other’s lips arealready moving.

“… if I upset you … trying to be friendly… too friendly maybe.”

Just two phrases, but already too muchfor Donghae to catch every word. He needs to cut this conversation short beforehe loses himself in the language – his own mother tongue, he thinks bitterly,and yet he can’t properly understand it anymore. The thought makes him sick.

“It’s alright,” Donghae says, slow andcareful.

Hyukjae must have noticed something iswrong with Donghae – or maybe he doesn’t want to startle him again, Donghaecan’t be sure – because the next time he speaks he does it in Donghae’s pace.Donghae is actually able to catch every word.

“I know that’s not what you usuallyread,” Hyukjae says and he has Donghae wondering about the tone of his voice;is it appeasing, comforting? Does he sound sorry or is he just saying it as amatter of fact? Before Donghae can feel bad about never finding out, Hyukjaestarts speaking fast again, leaving him confused and struggling to understand.“… not a stalker or anything … not watching … on purpose.” He starts gesturingas well, making it hard for Donghae to concentrate on his lips.

Donghae decides it’s better to interrupthim. “Do you have something to say to me?” He hopes he didn’t sound rude.

Hyukjae falters and Donghae can seedisappointment creeping on his face. “No, not really. I just wanted to makesure you got home safe yesterday. You seemed a bit out of it.”

“I did. Get home safely, I mean.”

“Oh … that’s good.” Hyukjae takes thehint and backs away slowly. “I’ll go back to work then.”

Donghae watches him go, his body shakingfrom head to toe. He grabs another random book and rushes to the most secludedseat he can find. Tears are already running down his face when he sits andopens the book from the middle. He covers his face with it and brings his kneesto his chest, hoping no one will see or hear him sobbing.

~*~

The next day, Donghae brings a book fromhome to read at the book shop. The Lord of the Rings – long and complexenough to keep his mind off other things. He arrives at the book shop an hourafter it opened – around 10am – and even though he’s not fully awake yet, he’shappy to find the place empty, except for the employees. He climbs the stairsto the second floor and from there to the balcony-like platform specially builtfor reading. There isn’t any piece of furniture, just many pillows scatteredalong the walls, but the carpet is always clean and soft under the touch so youcan sit comfortably on the floor. If they had some blankets too, Donghae wouldnever leave.

Donghae is not surprised to find thatplace empty as well. He walks along the railing, admiring the view below – andsecretly hoping he would spot Hyukjae. He reaches the end of the platform andwith a last look around he settles on a pillow, against the wall.

He immerses himself in the story, excitedto read one of his favourite books again, but soon after the second chapter hefeels his eyes droop, ready to close any minute. He’s still alone and theendless silence doesn’t help at all. Donghae is ready to grab a pillow and justrest his eyes for a while, when the strong smell of coffee invades hisnostrils, slowly reviving him. He leans a bit forward, trying to spot thesource of it; and then, as if pushed by an invisible force, he jumps back.

Stay calm. Don’t mess it upagain, he thinks,waiting for the impending doom.

A few seconds later, Hyukjae appears infront of him, holding a paper cup filled with coffee. He smiles down at Donghaeand offers him the cup.

“Take it,” he mouths. “You look likeyou’re going to fall asleep any moment.”

Ignoring the bubble of warmth bursting inhis chest, Donghae shakes his head. “I can’t accept it just like that.”

Despite being rejected, Hyukjae looks amused.“Oh, I’m not giving it to you for free. We can make an exchange.” Donghaefrowns, but waits for Hyukjae to continue. “I’ll give you this coffee and youcan give me your name.”

The warmth suddenly rises from Donghae’schest to his face. Hyukjae’s playful smile and endearing words are too much forhim. He feels the need to look away; he feels like he will melt under the man’sgaze. He can’t do that though, not if he wants to keep talking to Hyukjae.

With an admirable strength of characterthat he didn’t know he posses, Donghae looks straight at Hyukjae as he findshis words. “That doesn’t sound like a fair trade.” He sounds coy even in hisown mind, but he gives himself credit for keeping his shit together.

“It does to me,” says Hyukjae, his smilebroadening. Donghae would give anything to hear that smile weaving withHyukjae’s voice, to hear what Hyukjae is trying to convey to him – to hear how Hyukjae feels. “You know my name. It’s right here.” Hyukjae taps the nametag clung under his left shoulder blade with a smug expression, as if exposingimportant evidence for a police case. “I want to know yours too since we seeeach other everyday.”

Compared to the day before, Hyukjae seemsmuch more composed. His words flow smoothly and even though Donghae can’t hearHyukjae, he is sure confidence drips from every single syllable he lets out.Hyukjae is a charmer, no doubt about that. And Donghae can’t but give in tohim.

“Donghae. My name is Donghae.”

~*~

The next day is a Saturday. Weekends arealways busy; customers move like ants through the shop and employees are inover their heads. Donghae knows that all too well so he makes sure to be thereearly in order to secure his favourite spot.

He enters the book shop, nodding at theworkers who smile and welcome him, and forcing a smile of his own and goesstraight to the second floor, up to the reading platform. No one is there, asexpected. As he moves towards the end of the platform though, Donghae noticesthat someone has been there. There’sa cup of coffee with a sticky note attached to it right where Donghae loves tosit most. His first reaction is to find another spot; but then he notices thereare no books or bags around, not even a coat to betray the presence of anotherperson.

Strange, Donghae thinks, looking around. Maybe someone forgot it there.

He approaches the paper cup slowly, as ifexpecting someone to jump out of nowhere and accuse him of stealing theircoffee. He squats in front of it and picks up the sticky note, a gasp leavinghis lips as he reads it.

ForDonghae,

Havea good day and don’t fall asleep :)

Hyukjae.

P.S:If you leave it there, I’ll be sad :(

For some good minutes Donghae standsthere frozen, reading the note over and over again and trying to make sense ofit. Why did Hyukjae treat him to coffee twice?What’s that supposed to mean? Does it actually mean something or is Hyukjaejust sick of having to wake him up at the end of the day?

Donghae stands up and leans over therailing, trying to spot Hyukjae. He doesn’t know exactly what he does that for,because he doesn’t have the guts to confront the guy. He doesn’t see himanywhere.

Sighing, Donghae sits against the wall,bringing the cup with him. His eyes land on the note and he reads it again; andagain; and again. He reads it until he’s smiling like an idiot. He keepssmiling even as he drinks the coffee; it has run cold and he doesn’t even likecoffee that much anyway, but Donghae is happy to drink it.

Happy. That’s not something Donghaethought he’ll be able to be again.

~*~

Donghae tries not to be disappointed whenhe doesn’t smell the coffee on Sunday. He really tries - he rationalizes,telling himself that he’s no one to Hyukjae, the man just happens to be workingat one of Donghae’s favourite places, the only thing they know about each otheris their names.

Donghae tries – but he fails. He likedthe thought that he can still get positive attention from people, despite hiscondition.

He exhales shakily and drags himself tohis favourite spot.

No coffee, indeed. But there is somethingthere, making Donghae’s heart jump out of his chest. Right on the pillowDonghae uses to rest his back against there is a small package, the size of hisfist, sloppily wrapped in aluminium foil. There’s also a sticky note glued toit.

Donghae drops to his knees, barelybreathing. His hands tremble as he picks up the note.

Donghae,

Sorry,no time for coffee this morning ><

Here’sa sandwich as compensation. It’s perfectly safe to eat. I made it myself ^^ Ithought it might be a good idea since I never see you eating anything while you’rehere. Don’t do that anymore. It’s not good for your health.

Hyukjae.

P.S:You know you have to go outside to eat, right? Don’t be lazy and go!

Donghae is not crying. Not at all.

~*~

The next day a small pile of books awaitsfor Donghae. Donghae recognizes them as the newest fantasy stories released.All of them are in English.

Donghae,

Thesejust came in early this morning. I thought you might want to take a look evenif they’re in English. Or maybe you know English, in which case you can gostraight to reading ^^ Just do me a favour: pick one and return the others tothe fantasy section. I don’t think I’m allowed to do what I just did, but noone has to know, right? Right? Okay, thanks ^^

Hyukjae.

Donghae almost runs to return the bookshe doesn’t want, the thought of Hyukjae getting in trouble freezing his blood.He smiles as he places them in their rightful places though. Hyukjae is reallykind and also a little cute in his notes, Donghae thinks.

~*~

On Tuesday Donghae has a breakdown – the worstso far.

Hyukjae has left him three roses. Roses.A guy left roses for another guy. Who does that? Who does that, unless theyhave ulterior motives?

There’s something different about thenote as well. It’s shorter – the shortest so far – and more … intimate.

DearDonghae,

You’reas beautiful as a rose.

Hyukjae.

Most people would be touched by such agesture. Most people would think the person who left that for them is flirtingor even confessing. Donghae is not stupid. Donghae is deaf – not blind. Donghaecan tell when he is being approached.

It all makes sense now: the little gifts,the notes, why Hyukjae wanted to know his name. It’s because Hyukjae likes him.And the thought of it drives Donghae mad.

He leaves the flowers exactly where hefound them, but he grips the sticky note tightly in his fist, scrunching itinto a little ball. He climbs down the stairs in a rush and stops the firstemployee he meets in his way.

“Where’s Hyukjae?”

“I think he’s in the basement.”

Donghae leaves without even thanking thepoor girl.

He finds Hyukjae at the music section,arranging rock albums.

“Hyukjae,” Donghae calls the boy’s name andalthough he can’t hear his own voice, he feels it coming shaky and barelycomposed out of his throat, like a volcano ready to erupt any second – and Donghaereally is.

Hyukjae looks surprised when he turnsaround and even more so when he sees Donghae. And that’s all Donghae gets tosee of Hyukjae’s emotion, his concentration entirely on the movements of thelatter’s lips.

“Donghae—“

Donghae shoves the paper ball in Hyukjae’schest, with a little too much force. Hyukjae stumbles a few steps back, barelycatching the small paper. He stares at it and then at Donghae with confusedeyes and an upset frown.

“What—“

“Stop this! Stop it!” Donghae is prettysure he’s yelling, but he’s too angry and hurt too care at this point. “Whateveryou’re trying to do, whatever you want— just stop! It won’t happen! I … I can’t—“

“Donghae, calm down …”

Donghae feels like he got caught in atornado of emotions. His mind is swirling with so many things and he can’tconcentrate on anything. He doesn’t know what he wants to say, what Hyukjae issaying; he can’t do anything but start crying uncontrollably.

Hyukjae panics. He talks to him – and Donghaeis sure he’s trying to calm him down – but Donghae is far gone.

“Stop talking! Just stop— I can’t hear you!Hyukjae, I can’t hear you! I’m deaf!”

He turns away from Hyukjae, shutting hiseyes close and his own arms closing around himself in protection. He’s shakingfrom head to toe and making ugly sounds with his sobbing for sure. It’s strangehow all around him is only silence and yet – he feels as if he’s being yelledat or as if an alarm went off in his brain and won’t stop wailing.

He barely notices Hyukjae coming in frontof him, but he does feel strong arms enveloping him in a soothing embrace. Hisarms are trapped in an uncomfortable position, jabbing into his sides andprobably Hyukjae’s as well, but he’s take a million times worse if it meantleaning into Hyukjae’s warmth.

Hyukjae runs gentle fingers through hishair - careful, but determined - and Donghae leans his whole body on him,trusting Hyukjae to keep him together.

~*~

Hyukjae takes Donghae home. They get in ataxi and don’t talk the whole ride, except for Donghae telling his address.When they arrive it’s Hyukjae that pays – not that it’s relevant to any of themin that moment.

Donghae doesn’t trust his legs to takehim not even until the third floor so he gets in the elevator without a word.Hyukjae follows him. He follows Donghae to the door of his apartment. Donhaetakes out his keys and unlocks the door with trembling fingers.

Hyukjae stops him before he can getinside. He takes hold of Donghae’s hand, turns him around and cups his face,rendering him unable to escape his gaze.

“Will you be okay?” he asks. There’sworry in his eyes – the same kind Donghae hates seeing on his parents’ andfriends’ faces whenever they look at him. He didn’t want this. He didn’t wantHyukjae looking at him and seeing … whatever the man is seeing.

Fresh tears escape his eyes, enough toturn his vision blurry.

No, he won’t be okay. Not for some time.He’s upset and angry and – scared. He’s scared of being alone right now.

Without a word, Donghae tugs at theirconnected hands, bringing Hyukjae inside with him. Thankfully, his parents areat work. Donghae is sure they wouldn’t like their son bringing a stranger intotheir home – into his bedroom even.

Once inside the safe haven that is hisroom, Donghae takes a seat on the bed. Hyukjae hesitantly follows.

They stay in silence for long, tensemoments. Donghae has so many things he wants to say to Hyukjae – he wants toapologize, he wants to take it all back, he wants to tell Hyukjae that heactually loves the attention he was given – but he can’t bring himself to sayanything. He’s sure Hyukjae has things to say as well. Donghae is afraidHyukjae won’t talk to him, now that he knows the truth.

Hyukjae surprises him again though.

“Can I … Is it all right if I …” He stopsand looks around the room, as if he’ll find the right words written on thewalls. He then turns to Donghae with resolute eyes, very much alike theconfident Hyukjae that asked for his name a few days before. “Donghae, thischanges nothing. Nothing.”

Donghae gazes at him hopefully, a straytear running down his cheeks every now and then.

“It wasn’t my intention to upset you withmy … actions. Quite the contrary.” Hyukjae speaks considerably slowly thanbefore, but Donghae doesn’t feel offended. He’s relieved, because he wants toknow every single word that passes Hyukjae’s lips. “You come to the book shopevery day so it was impossible not to notice you. And I noticed you watching metoo. But that was it. I didn’t have any intention to introduce myself and getto know you. It just kind of happened. “And those little acts of attention Igave you … I wasn’t trying to flirt or anything, I swear!”

Hyukjae’s cheeks turn redder the more hetalks and at some point, probably feeling his own embarrassment, he looks awaywithout noticing. Donghae doesn’t want to interrupt him; he silently gets upand kneels in front of Hyukjae on the floor. He must look like a sad puppy athis master’s feet, but he honestly doesn’t care.

“I just … Donghae, you looked so—“

After a moment of daze, Hyukjae noticeswhat happened. He doesn’t ask Donghae to resume his position; instead he dropsto his knees as well right in front of Donghae. If he didn’t have to watch theman’s lips, Donghae would’ve leaned forward to hug him.

Hyukjae raises a hand to the side ofDonghae’s face, his thumb caressing his cheek.

“You looked so sad, Donghae,” Hyukjaesays, gazing at Donghae with an expression he doesn’t understand; a gleam in hiseyes that Donghae can’t place. “You always do. Your eyes say it all. They havethe look of someone who has given up everything; someone who won’t ever behappy again. I guess I know now why. And I wanted—“

He falters, looking at Donghae as ifasking for permission to continue.

“Yes?” Donghae is not sure if any soundcame out of him or if it was just his mouth moving.

“Donghae, I just wanted to see you lesssad. I wanted to make you smile if only for a short while. That’s all. I wasn’texpecting anything of you.”

Hyukjae’s words send Donghae’s heart intoa frenzy – but they also hurt him. He’s touched by Hyukjae’s confession and yet– he wants more. He said differently while at the book shop, but he also feltdifferently than what he said. He was afraid then, afraid that he won’t keep upthe pretence in front of Hyukjae. The cat is out of the bag now though. AndHyukjae is still with him.

“What I did today … with the roses andthat note … I guess I got in over my head.” Hyukjae looks so adorablyembarrassed right now, Donghae thinks; one of his hands is gripping Donghae’sarm and the other is absentmindedly ruffling his own hair. “B-but I meant it. Iwasn’t expecting anything in the beginning, but … I guess I couldn’t helpmyself on the way.”

Donghae chuckles lightly, surprisingHyukjae – but even more surprising himself. He assumes Hyukjae is done talkingso he lets his eyes wander away from the man’s face while his body finallyerases the space between them. He rests his head on Hyukjae’s shoulder, handsgripping the latter’s shirt like his life depended on it.

And then he starts talking. He tells Hyukjaeabout the simple cold turned into an infection turned bad, about waking up oneday to deafening silence. He tells him about that one time he was an asshole tohis mother and how he has been running away from them ever since. He tells himhow he thinks he won’t be able to carry on with his life. And his heart feelslighter with every word.

“That’s not true, Donghae,” Hyukjae tellshim when they break apart. “I won’t claim I know what you’re going through orhow it feels like. But I know what loss feels like. It’s not the end of theworld, even if it seems like it.”

And then Hyukjae tells him about hislosses: about how his father died when he was seven and how his mother had beenbattling depression ever since; about how his mother eventually broke down andtook her own life two years ago. Donghae cries for Hyukjae – even if the manhimself does not – and wonders if that’s why Hyukjae tried his best to makeDonghae feel better. He wonders if Hyukjae does that for everyone he meets,just to save them from his mother’s ending.

They talk more through the day. Donghaefinds out Hyukjae was supposed to be in his second year of college if he hadn’tquit after his mother’s death. Hyukjae finds out that Donghae is in his lastyear of high school, but he hasn’t gone to school ever since he lost hishearing.

They stop only when Donghae’s mothercomes home. She is dumbfounded to find Donghae with someone, but she excusesherself and invites Hyukjae to stay for dinner. Hyukjae politely refuses.Donghae sees his mother try to hide tears as she leaves his room – tears ofrelief and happiness, he hopes.

Hyukjae takes his leave after that.

“You shouldn’t come to the book shopanymore,” he tells Donghae as they part, breaking the younger’s heart a little.“And what I mean by that is that you shouldn’t run away anymore. You have therest of your life ahead of you – and that’s many years. Talk to your family andfriends. Go back to school. Take your life back.”

Donghae doesn’t like the sound of that.He really doesn’t. He realizes Hyukjae is right though. It surely won’t beeasy, but it will get better.

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

And Hyukjae will be waiting for him.

A/N: This took a different turn than what I had in mind. I wanted to focus more on Hyukjae encouraging Donghae to reach out to others, to let his family and friends help him instead of making the cliche “I met the love of my life and he made everything better”. But I felt terrible for taking so long to write it so I kinda just rushed, wrote the first things that came in mind just to finish quickly. I think I’ll come back to this someday and write it just the way I wanted when I started it.

[allhaileunhae]

fanfiction ask: 18, haehyuk!

Sorry it took long, I tend to get carried away ^^’’

Thank you and I hope you like it!

Also, happy New Year!

Hyukjae doesn’t recognize the roomhe wakes up in. The soft bed, the tan walls, and wooden furniture provide acozy, serene atmosphere - but they tell him nothing. There are labels on everydrawer of the furniture - underwear, socks, shirts & ties, T-shirtsis written on them - which Hyukjae finds odd.

There are paintings on the walls.Hyukjae gets up and walks to one of them - a scene from a park at night; apeaceful lake in the distance and a stone bridge in the foreground. Hyukjaetouches the canvas gingerly then turns to the other paintings - two glasses ofwine, the liquids entwining around each other; a broken angel with black wings kneelingon the ground, looking defeated. He gazes at them, knowing in the back of hismind that he was the one who painted them, and smiles, finding comfort in theonly things he seems to recognize.

He steps out of the bedroom intothe living room, walking slowly, with unsure steps as he takes in itsappearance. The walls are white, as well as the sofa and two armchairs. There’sa coffee table between them, on top of which lie two magazines and a white mug- Coffee Slut is printed on it in pink and Hyukjae laughs at thesilliness of it. It’s definitely not his, because Hyukjae hates coffee. Twolaptops lie on the sofa. One of the walls is entirely occupied by a woodenbookcase filled with books. Hyukjae recognizes his favourite fantasy series - HarryPotter, The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices inEnglish, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and other young adult fictionthat he still loves to read despite being in his thirties. There’s also Crimeand Punishment, The Picture of Dorian Grey, Dante’s Divine Comedyand other classics that Hyukjae finds way too dramatic for his liking. Heremembers reading them though, because they were his … his … someone’sfavourites.

Hyukjae frowns. Whose favourites?It’s probably the same person who owns the silly coffee mug. By the looks of itHyukjae apparently lives with them. But who is it exactly?

Hyukjae stands by the bookcase forlong minutes, struggling to remember; but his head is a mess of faces with nonames - a few familiar ones, but the rest are strangers - and the more he triesto focus on a single one, the more confused he gets and a terrible headacheenvelops him, making his head even fuzzier and— why can’t I remember, Goddamn it!

Just as he was about to kick thebookcase in frustration, a loud tune rings from the bedroom. Hyukjae recognizesit as his alarm clock ringtone and goes back to the bedroom to find his phone.He picks it up from the bedside table and stares at it for a couple of seconds,his brain trying to register the words shown on the screen.

You have Anterograde Amnesia. Checkyour memo.

Of course, Hyukjae thinks, closinghis eyes to order his thoughts. Now everything makes sense: why he doesn’trecognize the place, the labels on the furniture, and why he can’t remember theperson he lives with. He must be pretty special though if Hyukjaeendured reading Crime and Punishment for him.

Hyukjae follows the instructions onhis phone and opens his memo.

Work on painting.

E-mail the organizer. (read more)

Be at the gallery at 5pm. (readmore)

Grocery shopping on the way home.

Hyukjae reads the list twice thenopens the read more’s. After he makes sure he memorized everything, hegoes back in the living room to start his day. As he gathers his art supplies(conveniently left under the coffee table), he wonders why there are nopictures of him and whoever he lives with anywhere around the apartment.

 ~*~

Around 4pm Hyukjae gets a phonecall. Donghae it says on the screen. Hyukjae knows this name, it’sawfully familiar - but he can’t match a person to it.

“Hello?” He is aware of the anxietyin his voice, but he hopes it won’t reach the other person.

“Hey, Hyukjae.” The man’s voice is deep and softand it makes Hyukjae’s heart skip a beat. “Do you know who I am?”

“Donghae.”

Donghae laughs, loud and carefree.Hyukjae smiles a little too even though he’s the one being laughed at.

“Because that’s the caller ID,right?” Donghae asks, his voice teasing.

“… yeah.” Hyukjae exhalesshakily, palming his face in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’ll remember.” Donghae doesn’t seem offended atall. He sounds confident and easy going and Hyukjae gets the impression they’vehad this conversation before. “I just called to remind you of theinauguration. You know, that talented boy you discovered and insisted we showhis works to the world?”

Hyukjae hums, although he does notremember. He read about it on his phone though. Apparently Hyukjae found ateenage boy trying to sell his art on the streets a few months back. He wasimpressed by what he saw so he took the boy under his wing, thought him aboutpainting and guided him through the long and painful process of making his ownsmall collection. Today is the day the boy’s work is going to be put ondisplay. With a bit of luck someone would be interested enough to buy.

Reading about this, Hyukjae thought he’s apretty awesome person. Not that he’s arrogant, but he doesn’t quite rememberanything about himself for the past ten years or so, so he’s proud to discoverwhat he’s become.

“You have to be here at 5.”

“I know.”

“It’s 4 right now.”

“Oh, fu—”

Donghae starts laughing whileHyukjae jumps from the chair and runs to the bedroom. “I knew you’d forgetto check the time, that’s why I called.”

“If you knew, why didn’t you callearlier?” Hyukjae grumbles, balancing the phone between his shoulder and jaw sohe can take out clothes from the drawer.

“Relax, it’s gonna be fine.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re notthe one running late.”

Donghae laughs again and Hyukjaebarely refrains from hanging up. “See you soon, Hyukjae. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Hyukjae lets the phone fall on thebed while he hurriedly puts on his pants. He freezes while buttoning them, onlynow registering his last words. He meant them too. He marvels at that and athow easy it was to talk to Donghae after the first awkward moments; as ifthey’ve known each other for decades.

We probably do, he thinks, buttoning the pantsand putting on a shirt. As his fingers hurry to button that too, Hyukjaenotices a gold ring on his ring finger. Oh, he thinks, a grin blossomingon his face. That explains it.

~*~

Hyukjae arrives at the gallery twenty minutes late. Theplace is already filled, people moving from one painting to another, admiringand commenting. The many faces make Hyukjae’s head spin, but he nods at peoplewho greet him anyway because he doesn’t want to be rude. It’s not their faultHyukjae can’t remember them.

He wonders around a bit, looking for— well, he doesn’t knowexactly. He still can’t match the name Donghae with a face, but he’s sure hewill know when he sees him.

And he does.

Donghae has that kind of ethereal beauty, the kind thatmakes you wonder if he’s actually real (it seems like that to Hyukjae anyway).He has short light-brown hair swept to the side, tan skin and thin lips.When helaughs, his whole body laughs along with him - his eyes crinkle, the corner ofhis lips almost touch his ears, and he bends forward slightly, his handslightly hitting the person he’s laughing with. He’s wearing dark-blue dresspants, a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a dark-bluevest. He looks gorgeous.

Donghae is a few meters in front of him, talking to acouple. Hyukjae stops and stares at him, butterflies in his stomach and hischest tingling with love.

This is the man you love, his brain whispers. He is your everything, howcould you forget him?

I didn’t, he argues. I didn’t!

But you did, another part of his mind taunts. You woke up thismorning and you had no idea he even exists.

Hyukjae feels his eyes sting with tears, but he swallowsthe lump in his throat and makes his way to Donghae. This must happen everytimehe sees his lover, he thinks bitterly, these inner demons trying to ruin hislife. He must fight them everytime they appear. He must not let them win.

For Donghae. Everything for Donghae.

Hyukjae walks with slow steps, waiting for the couple toleave. When they do, Hyukjae breaks into a run, slamming his body intoDonghae’s as he embraces him from behind.

He doesn’t remember how they met, who confessed first, howthey got together. He doesn’t remember their first big fight or what it wasabout. He doesn’t know Donghae’s favourite colour or movie or what kind ofmusic he likes.

But it doesn’t matter. Because he remembers Donghae’s voiceand his name; he remembers flickers of protective hugs and passionate toucheslate at night or early in the morning.

He remembers Donghae loving him when no one else did.

Strong hands take a hold of his, entwining their fingers.Donghae turns his head smiling and nuzzles his nose against Hyukjae’saffectionately. Thin lips ghost over his briefly before settling on his cheek.

“I knew you’ll remember,” Donghae murmurs, only forHyukjae’s ears to hear. “You always do, Hyukjae.”

And that’s all that matters.

Man, I had two different ideas for this AU, but the first one was angstier and honestly I didn’t want to write something too dramatic or sad (sorry if you’re a fan of angst). 

Also, I read quite a few memory loss AU’s and they were all angsty and super sad so I thought “Why not lessen the sad a little? I’m sure they can be happy even with memory loss problems” so I tried to do that. 

I don’t know what was the point of this A/N honestly. I feel the need to explain myself so there’s that.

Anyway, I hope you liked it!

[allhaileunhae]

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I'LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

soulmates au

childhood best friends au

teacher/student au

teacher/single parent au

one night stand and falling pregnant au

meeting at a coffee shop au

fake relationship au

roommates au

meeting online au

high school popular kid/nerd au

partners in crime au

writer and editor au

co-stars au

lab partners au

meeting in the E.R/A&E au

brand new neighbours au

meeting at a party whilst drunk au

waking up with amnesia au

parents meeting when they take their kids to class au

dysfunctional relationship au

best friends sibling au 

two miserable people meeting at a wedding au

meeting on a train ride au

literally bumping into each other au

librarian/avid reader au

sitting on the same park bench au

meeting at a support group au

knocking on the wrong door au

going away to war au

tourist/knowledgeable local au

prostitute/client au

doctor/companion au

celebrity/fan au

meeting at a masquerade ball au

one of them trying to get the other one off of drugs au

living in a society where their love is taboo au

meeting in prison au

cop/person getting a speeding ticket au

long distance relationship au

exes meeting again after not speaking for years au

ghost/living person au

star-crossed lovers au

falling in love with their best friend’s partner au

one of them being diagnosed with a terminal illness au

pretending to hate each other au

nanny/single parent au

meeting at a festival au

meeting again at a high school reunion au

boss/intern au

going through a divorce au

[allhaileunhae]

Hey, guys. I know I’ve been neglecting this blog, but September was a busy month. I did some traveling, and I spent most of the time with a dear friend who had moved to Germany last year and came to visit.

I also entered a contest so I’m struggling to write my entry (which is this story). I don’t think I’ll be writing anything else until I’m done with that one, so I’ll give you a sneak-peek in the meantime ^^ Do check it out! The story is called Fettered and it’s a fantasy college!AU.

“Tell me about yourself.”

Hyukjae stares at him, blinking. “You’re supposed to tutor me.”

“Fine.” Donghae shrugs. “Tell me about yourself in English.”

“Don’t fool around.”

“I’m not. I want to get to know you.”

“Why?!” Hyukjae splutters, leaning back on his chair, as far away from his tutor as possible. He doesn’t like it when people get nosy, and he doesn’t like talking about himself. There’s a reason he only has two close friends (and even those two don’t know anything about him).

Donghae laughs merrily, his head thrown back. “I mean no harm, I swear.” He smiles charmingly and props up his chin on his hand, elbow sliding on the table towards Hyukjae. “I like you, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae swallows, feeling like his blood has stopped flowing. “Y-you …” He bites his lip, not trusting his voice. He takes a deep breath and tries again. “This is only the second time we meet.”

Donghae shifts his eyes from him, gaze faltering to the floor. He looks almost … ashamed. It doesn’t last more than five seconds. He looks back at Hyukjae with a sheepish grin.

“Do you not believe in love at first sight?”

“No.” Hyukjae exhales shakily. His fingers are trembling under the desk. “I believe in trust – and trust is built in time.”

“We have time,” Donghae says. “And I’m a very patient person. I can wait until you open up to me – until you come to trust me.”

Hyukjae doubts that that will ever happen. He’s never opened up to anyone before. Donghae is no different.

And yet, under his penetrating gaze, Hyukjae already feels his walls cracking.

They say eyes are mirrors to your soul. Hyukjae has never paid much attention to anyone’s eyes, but it’s true, he thinks, as he stares into Donghae’s black orbs. Hyukjae can see in Donghae’s eyes that the boy is truly fond of him, that he’s not playing games. Donghae looks at him as if he’s precious, something worth treasuring; which Hyukjae finds ridiculous - they don’t even know each other!

There’s also desire in his eyes, a raw passion that makes Hyukjae’s blood flow again, rushing to his face. It burns him, sudden, but steady; it’s like putting his hands close to fire to warm them, and the fire growing stronger without him noticing, lashing at his hands before he can pull away. He enjoys the burn though, the heat makes him feel alive, and he gets even closer to the fire, willing to be scorched alive.

He feels it all as he holds Donghae’s gaze. He wants to look away, spare himself the embarrassment and the implications, but he doesn’t – he can’t. There’s honesty in Donghae’s eyes and understanding. Hyukjae wonders if Donghae can lie when his eyes yell out the truth, unveiling his heart and soul. It makes Hyukjae want to do the same, compels him to tell Donghae everything, to pour his heart out, spill his darkest secrets—

“I’m a —“

Donghae blinks. The bond is broken.

Hyukjae realizes what he’s doing - what he was about to do – and bites his tongue, so hard that he tastes blood. He fights back the pained whimper.

“You’re a …” Donghae drawls expectantly.

“I’m adopted,” Hyukjae says, the words stumbling out of his mouth.

Out of all the things you could’ve said, Hyukjae.

He looks down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. It’s not like it’s a secret … really, no big deal …”

“We can talk about it if you feel like it,” Donghae says gently. He looks like he wants to comfort Hyukjae, but is not sure if it will be appreciated. Hyukjae would appreciate it; but he doesn’t want to admit it aloud.

“Maybe … maybe another time. You’re supposed to teach me English now.” He manages to muster a teasing tone, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

“Oh, right.”

[allhaileunhae]

Storm

Violent roaring from outside wakes Hyukjae up at two in the morning. He doesn’t understand what’s happening at first, his brain still sluggish from sleep. He lies motionless on his back, blinking at the ceiling. He’s on the verge of falling asleep again when some kind of explosion comes out from outside again and water drips on his legs, trickling from the window. He sits up and touches his legs, only to find the sheets also wet.

What the—

A blinding strike of lightning lights up the whole room, followed by a deafening thunder. It’s then Hyukjae realizes what’s going on: the worst storm he has probably witnessed.

He jumps on his feet on the bed, cursing and groaning, and quickly closes the window. He draws the curtains too, because the lightning is disturbing (and he might be just a teeny bit scared).

Hyukjae knew there would come a day he’ll regret having the bed right under the window. He couldn’t do anything about it though. When he arrived at the dorm for the first time, his roommate had already taken the other bad.

The sheets are not so wet as to need changing, luckily.

Sighing, Hyukjae lies back, more than ready to drift back into dreamland. Sleep seemed to have run away from him, however. He tosses and turns for about half an hour, disturbed by the continuous thunders and lightning. It’s not like he’s afraid of storms; but having to sleep right under the window when something close to the apocalypse is taking place outside is way out of his comfort zone.

He buries his head under the pillow and closes his eyes tightly, forcing himself asleep. Just as he drifts off, a wall-shaking thunder booms, scaring him wide awake. With his heart in his throat, Hyukjae turns his back to the window. His roommate’s bed looks awfully appealing right now and he looks with spite at the sleeping boy.

Donghae is sprawled on the bed, snoring softly. His hair is sticking in every direction and drool trickles from the corner of his mouth onto the pillow. The blanket is half entangled between his legs, half on the floor, and the sheets are a complete mess under his body. Despite his roommate’s embarrassing state, Hyukjae still finds him cute.

A sudden urge to leave his bed and join Donghae on his takes over Hyukjae as he watches the boy sleep. Who knows, maybe he’ll be able to sleep away from the window.

He grabs his pillow and makes his way to the other bed. He gently nudges Donghae’s limbs closer to his body, making space for himself. He sneaks in between Donghae and the wall, shifting and groaning until he finds a comfortable position. He barely has enough space to breathe and he has to put one of his legs over Donghae’s. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. He considers going back to his bed, when Donghae wakes up.

“Hyukjae?” he mumbles, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to focus on the other. “What’cha doin’ in my bed?”

Hyukjae clears his throat. Awkward. “Uh … I couldn’t sleep under the window. T-the lightning is too close.”

To his surprise (he wasn’t expecting Donghae to actually register his words), Donghae laughs, making him wish to be struck by the troublesome lightning. “Would’ve never guessed badass Hyukjae is scared by a little storm.”

Little?! That’s the end of the world going on outside!

“What a shocker,” Hyukjae huffs, turning his back to his roommate. “I’m actually human. You can take my bed if you’re so mighty.”

As if he wasn’t already squished against the wall enough, Donghae glues his chest to Hyukjae’s back and both of his arms wrap around his waist. Donghae’s breath tickles his neck as he speaks.

“Don’t wanna. This is nice. Goodnight, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae smiles. Yes, it is very nice, indeed.

I’ve been on a roll this week. This is the third consecutive night I spend writing. I like to think it’s the holiday thrill.

And yes, I wrote this because I was scared shitless last night by a storm and I distracted myself by imagining this.

[allhaileunhae]

If You Wanna Be My Lover

Rating: PG (only a little swearing here and there)

Genre: AU, fluff, romance

Summary: Donghae is looking for the perfect lover.

Song recommendation: Spice Girls - Wannabe. The whole thing started from this song (it was on TV and I was jamming to it and then oops! fanfic material ahaha).

“You gotta get with my friends”

 “Your friends seem cool.”

“Hm.”

“I gotta ask though. I mean, I don’t want to sound like a jerk—“

Then don’t be a jerk …

“But is Heechul really a guy? Is he like … androgynous? Hermaphrodite?”

Donghae’s lips pull into a snarl and his hand clenches into a fist under the table. He’s ready to punch the guy any second now.

He can’t recall what exactly had been in his mind when he accepted to date Kyuhyun. Maybe he felt lonely. Maybe he got sick of being the only single one in his group of friends. Besides, Kyuhyun is good-looking. He’s pretty popular too. He has the reputation of being painfully blunt and lacking the romantic bone, but when he asked Donghae out, Donghae thought “Why the heck not?” and said yes. Kyuhyun’s high grades and extensive knowledge of school related stuff might have played a role too (not that Donghae planned on making him do his homework or anything; nope, not at all).

They’ve been on a few dates and while they weren’t the best dates Donghae had ever been on, they weren’t the worst either. So they kept dating until Donghae got bored of so much dating and decided to put Kyuhyun through the ultimate test: meeting his friends.

Needless to say, it’s not going quite like Donghae imagined.

“And I remember you telling me Ryeowook looks younger than he is, but I think that was an understatement. He looks like a middle-schooler. Makes Jiwon look like his baby sitter instead of his girlfriend.” Kyuhyun laughs at his own joke and then looks expectantly at Donghae.

“That’s not funny,” he says, his best poker face on.

“Woah! What’s Siwon doing with two girls at a time?”

“He believes in polygamy.”

“That’s stupid. He’s practically cheating on them with the other.”

Donghae thanks the heavens his friends scattered through the club so that no one can hear the shit coming out of Kyuhyun’s mouth. Heechul would’ve probably plant the guy’s head on the table. Repeatedly. Until he bled.

As he shuts his ears to his date’s voice, Donghae scans the room, searching for something to keep him entertained. His eyes land on Hyukjae, a few tables away from him, chatting with his own date.

Why can’t Kyuhyun be like his classmate? Hyukjae never said a word about Heechul’s long hair or the make-up his friend is always wearing; he complimented him instead, admiring his courage to defy the norm and telling him the look suits him. Hyukjae never made fun of Ryeowook; he said Donghae’s petit friend is cute and adorable, and that when everyone else is going to be old and wrinkly, Ryeowook would still look like in his late thirties. Hyukjae never insulted Siwon for his choice; he admitted he doesn’t quite understand how it works, but he respected Donghae’s friend, like a decent human being.

Hyukjae has gotten along with all of Donghae’s friends since they first met. Why can’t the asshole next to him do the same?

As if sensing Donghae’s intense stare, Hyukjae turns his head towards him. The blond smiles and waves at him. His eyes then point at Kyuhyun. Donghae gets the silent question.

How’s it going?

Donghae makes a cutting gesture to his throat.

Get me out of here!

Hyukjae laughs. Donghae watches in fascination how his eyes crinkle and his gums peek from behind his lips.

“That’s Hyukjae, right? Your classmate?” Kyuhyun asks.

“Yeah.”

“Kind of a loser if you ask me. That girl is totally ready to go and yet he sits there like a virgin.”

Donghae finally punches him.

 “Make it last forever, friendship never ends.”

Rain trickles down the windows, captivating Donghae more than whatever the professor is saying. Being in the first year of college, he usually concentrates all his attention on the lecture, but today he doesn’t feel like doing anything. He had a fight with Leeteuk and that’s all he can think about; he consummates his energy on being angry at the elder. The rain matches his mood.

“Are you all right?” Hyukjae asks as soon as the professor it out of the room.

Donghae sighs, debating on whether he should pour his heart out to Hyukjae or not. The blond might not even care, he probably has his own issues. “Not really.”

Hyukjae gives him a sympathetic smile. “We have an hour until the next lecture. You can tell me over lunch if you want to.”

Ten minutes later, Donghae is playing with his food while telling Hyukjae about the fight with his best friend. The blond ignores his own food in favour of listening to him. The canteen is buzzing around them, students coming and going, and Donghae wishes no one will sit with them.

“It’s just unfair, you know,” he says. “He always hangs out with people that are not me, but I cancel our plans once and suddenly it’s not okay.”

“Maybe he felt less important in your eyes. You two haven’t seen each other in months and now that he finally had some free time, you chose to hang out with someone else.”

“It’s not my fault I had other plans! I’m not a mind reader!”

“Of course not,” Hyukjae coaxes him. Suddenly, Donghae feels like a brat. “But you could’ve invited him along. What were your other plans anyway?”

Hanging out with you. And I wanted to hang out only with you.

“Just … meeting someone else …”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“We screamed at each other through the phone, yes.”

“No.” The blond chuckles, flicking Donghae’s nose. “I meant, talk about your feelings. Make up.”

Donghae pushes away Hyukjae’s hand and groans softly. “We’re too busy ignoring each other for that.”

“Come on, Donghae. You said you know this guy since you were five. Are you really going to let go of him because of miscommunication?”

“No … I guess not. Thanks, Hyukjae. You just saved my 14 years long friendship.”

“I’m always here if you need me.”

 “If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give.”

Valentine’s Day passes like any other day for Donghae. He’s disappointed and furious. He expected Hanbin, the guy he’s currently dating, to at least take him on a walk in the park and give him a small package of chocolates if anything else is too much to ask.

"Did you, by any chance, forget yesterday was Valentine's Day?" he asks when they talk the next day. He hopes for a yes. He can forgive that. It happens.

"How could I?" Hanbin answers, irritation clear in his voice. "It's everywhere!"

"So?"

"So what?"

"You didn't say anything about it!"

"What's the big deal? It's not like we're boyfriends."

Well fuck you too then.

  "Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is."

On Monday morning, Donghae meets Hyukjae in front of the university. The blond is wrapped in a tight, fluffy coat and a thick scarf is covering half of his face. He's holding a gift bag. With snow slowly falling in the background, Donghae thinks Hyukjae looks freshly out of a sappy anime. He tries to convince himself he's not envious of the person that will receive the blond's gift; it doesn't really work.

Honestly, Donghae can't tell what came over him. He never considered Hyukjae a potential romantic interest. Sure, he finds his classmate handsome and attractive, but he never thought there could be anything more than a platonic relationship between them.

So why is he now?

He thinks about it as he crosses the street. He stops thinking altogether when he gets close to Hyukjae.

"Hey," he says. He hopes he doesn't sound awkward.

Hyukjae greets him back with a grin. "This is for you." He pushes the gift bag to Donghae, who takes it with shaky hands.

"What's the occasion?"

"Belated Valentine's Day."

Donghae's eyes go wide and he holds his breath, waiting for something like "nah, just kidding" or "no homo" or at least an "i love you, bro" to make it less suggestive. Hyukjae stays silent though.

"But ..." he stammers. "I m-mean, we're n-not ..."

Hyukjae shoves his hands in his pockets, pulling at his coat. "Do we have to be?" His cheeks are red now and Donghae wonders if it's from the cold or something else. "It's just a box of chocolates, Donghae. I'm not proposing to you ..."

Yeah, what's the big deal? Ryeowook gives chocolates to his close friends on Valentine's Day every year. Donghae never questioned him. Why is he questioning Hyukjae now?

Feeling a little bold, Donghae steps into Hyukjae's personal space with a racing heart. I'm just paying him back, he thinks as he kisses the blond's cheek. When he pulls back, he quickly looks away, but does not miss the flustered smile on Hyukjae's face.

Donghae wonders if Hyukjae felt the butterflies as well.

 "If you want my future, forget my past."

 "I'm gonna die."

"You'll be fine, you drama queen. What, is this the first time you ask a girl out?"

"It actually is. It's usually them who come to me."

Donghae finally screw up his courage and decided to ask Jessica out. He's been crushing on the pretty, half-Korean student for a while now. They only have two or three lectures together, but they got along pretty fast. Donghae has been drawn to her intelligence and sense of humour. It's been some time since he'd been into a girl and he doesn't want to screw this up.

Luckily, Hyukjae is there to keep him together.

"Go before she leaves," the blond says, pushing him towards the girl.

Donghae turns around and grips his arm. "Will you wait for me?"

Hyukjae's smile falters. He shifts his gaze, biting his lip. Donghae hopes he just imagines the sadness on the blond's face. "Sure." Hyukjae nods. The smile is back on his face, but it's considerably dimmer. "I'll be outside."

Donghae takes a deep breath and approaches Jessica, who is talking to two of their fellow colleagues.

"Jessica?"

"Oh, hey, Donghae! What's up?" Her brilliant smile gives him courage.

"Would you go on a date with me?"

There. He said it. No turning back now.

Jessica gasps. "Donghae," she says, her voice soft and gentle, and full of pity. Donghae gets the hint. "Look, you're very nice and I like you a lot."

No need to say that if you're going to break my heart.

"Do you remember that time when we shared our dating history?"

What does that have to do with anything? he thinks, but mutters a "yes" nonetheless.

"Well," Jessica says, searching for the right words. "Your list is quite ... extensive. I don't know, I just ... I'm looking for someone who doesn't change partners so often. I'm really sorry-"

"I get it." Donghae spares the both of them by walking away.

Hyukjae is waiting outside the classroom, as promised. When he sees Donghae coming out with tears in his eyes, he pulls him in his arms without a word. When Donghae starts sobbing on his shoulder, he carefully manoeuvres them in a more secluded space.

"She basically called me a slut," Donghae tells him through sobs.

Hyukjae sighs, embracing him tighter. "You're not a slut, Donghae. It shouldn't matter how many people you've dated."

Donghae raises his head from the blond's shoulder, tears running down his face. "D-does it matter to you?"

"Don't be silly," Hyukjae says, cupping his face. "You matter to me."

The kiss Hyukjae leaves on his forehead is better than anything Jessica could ever give him.

  "If you wanna get with me, better make it fast."

Sometimes Donghae believes Hyukjae likes him. In a full-homo kind of way. It's not like in the movies - lingering touches, sweet flirting, subtle confessions. Hyukjae does none of that. It's the way the blond talks to him, gentle and always considerate of his feelings; it's the way Hyukjae takes care of him, making sure Donghae does not break his neck or a limb at every step (because Donghae is clumsy like that) and reminding Donghae to eat throughout the day (even sharing his food with him); it's the way Hyukjae looks at him when he thinks Donghae doesn't see, but Donghae does see; it's the way he tells him "Let me know you got home safely" every time they stay out late.

But if Hyukjae does indeed like him, why doesn't he say anything? If the blond was shy, Donghae would understand and take the initiative. However, Hyukjae is anything but shy; Donghae has seen him asking people out or flirt more than he can count.

So why doesn't he ask Donghae out?

Donghae doesn't have the patience to wait and find out.

 "Now don't go wasting my precious time."

"I don't get him, Jungsoo. What is he waiting for?"

Even from his seat at the table, Donghae can see his best friend roll his eyes at him as he moves about the kitchen, making dinner.

"If you want him so bad, why don't you ask him out?"

"Well, I would, but ..."

"But what?"

"But if he really liked me, he would've asked first. I don't want to make a fool out of myself."

"You're making a fool out of yourself right now," Jungsoo points out. Donghae has the urge to grab a fork and shove it up the man's ass. "You'll never know if you don't ask."

Donghae sighs, resting his head on the table. "You're not helping."

"I am. You're refusing my help."

Donghae flips him the bird.

"Have you considered that he's in the same dilemma as you? Or worse - maybe he thinks you don't like him in that way and doesn't want to risk your friendship on finding out."

"That's so cliche." Donghae scrunches up his nose. "This is not some lame drama."

Jungsoo laughs, his high-pitched tone filling the kitchen. "Even those lame dramas have a grain of truth. Where do you think they get their plot from?"

"Not real life."

"Guess again. Now back to your love-life crisis. There's also the possibility he's not confessing because you're always dating someone. Don't get me wrong," he says when Donghae looks close to crying. "There's nothing wrong with that. But the poor guy might just not be able to get the timing right."

"Well I'm not dating anyone now," Donghae mumbles.

"You might want to let him know that as well."

 "Get your act together, we could be just fine."

It so happens that the next day is Saturday.

It's late spring already and the weather is perfect for going out. Donghae asks Hyukjae to meet in a park. He's so anxious and excites at the same time, that he leaves earlier than necessary and gets there first. He shivers a little as he waits for his classmate. Though sunny and warm, a cool wind blows and Donghae regrets leaving in only a T-shirt. Although, if everything goes well, he won't be feeling the cold for long.

Hyukjae arrives ten minutes later, wearing a hoodie and carrying a jacket in his hand.

"I got a feeling you'll be underdressed," he says, putting the jacket around Donghae's shoulders. As he pushes his arms through the coat, Donghae wonders how could he be so blind all this time. Hyukjae is totally boyfriend material. "So what do you have in mind?"

"Let's just take a walk for now."

He's not stalling. No, he just wants to find a secluded place, that's all.

When they find it, they take a seat on the grass.

"Hyukjae," Donghae says, going straight to the point. "I like you and I want you to ask me out."

Hyukjae looks comically surprised, his mouth hanging open for a few seconds. When a minute passes without him saying anything, Donghae starts to get worried. But then Hyukjae grins at him, smirks even.

"Why don't you ask me out, huh?" he asks.

Donghae looks away, all his confidence gone with the wind. "I have unpleasant memories."

"I won't call you a slut, I promise."

"Excuse you?!"

Hyukjae laughs out loud, his head tilting back and hand flying over his mouth.

"You think you're funny, huh?" Donghae pushes him away with force. "I shouldn't have said anything! I should've let you suffer in your unrequited love!"

Hyukjae gets up and pulls Donghae close to him despite his struggles. "The fact that you confessed doesn't make it an unrequited love." He embraces Donghae gently and Donghae melts into his arms. "I would've asked you out eventually. I was just waiting for you to get tired of everyone else."

Donghae feels bad. He wasted so much time dating losers when he could've dated his sweet, loving classmate; Hyukjae who's always there for him, who accepts his friends as they are, who doesn't demand anything of him.

He decides to make it up to him by kissing him senseless throughout the rest of the day.

[allhaileunhae]

It’s around noon when they arrive. Donghae asks Kyungsoo to go straight to the hospital, giving him directions.

His father is waiting in front of the building. His eyes start tearing as soon as he sees his youngest son and Donghae is out of the car and into his arms before Kyungsoo even gets to park. It’s the first time Donghae sees his father cry and it feels odd, out of place; because the man has always been the strong, reliable head of the family, always the one taking care of all of them. Seeing the tears stream down his face, Donghae realizes his father is only human, just like everyone else - he feels and hurts and needs someone to lean on.

“How is he?” Donghae asks in a voice he wishes would be steadier. He wants to be the strong one for once and not cry.

 When his father answers, he sounds like he can’t believe his own words. “He’s ... fine. Donghwa is fine.”

A relieved sob escapes Donghae’s throat. All he wants to do now is see his brother to confirm his father’s words.

He lets go of his father when Kyungsoo joins them.

“Dad, this is Kyungsoo - the one I moved in with. I’ve told you about him.”

“Nice to meet you, young man!” His father shakes Kyungsoo’s hand tightly and the latter returns it with a polite smile. “Donghae talks about you all the time. Thank you for taking care of our son!”

“It’s nothing, sir,” Kyungsoo says. “I’m thankful that I met him.”

Donghae looks up at Kyungsoo with an adoring smile, his heart full of joy. He didn’t think he would be able to smile for a while or feel anything than sadness and misery. Too much has happened in a too short time.

I realized I don’t like this part one bit for some reason, so it’s not gonna make it in the chapter.