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really everyone you love has something miserably wrong with them or an obvious flaw that won't ever be fixed but like it's up to you what kind of person you can and cannot deal with. someone in my family has anger issues which I can handle and diffuse with no problem, but a person who can't tolerate yelling could not be close to him. another person I know is very anxious & needs constant reassurance and she gets along famously with gentler and more straightforward people than myself, but I can't handle being second guessed all the time. someone who is loosey goosey with their morals wouldn't bother me, but a person with a profound sense of justice makes me feel afraid of getting on their bad side. none of these traits actually make someone a bad person & just because there are personalities I can't handle doesnt mean I'M a bad person either. litany against callout posts for stupid shit and simple incompatibilities we all have to live on this earth together & need to learn how to deal with each other

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I think one of the most profound forms of love is "I'll try that, for you. I may not like it, but I'll try it."

It's a confused middle-aged man in a pottery class, whose daughter is helping him with his clay's plasticity. It's a kid scrunching up their brow while listening to their mom's favorite music, trying to figure out why she likes it. It's a girlfriend who says "Yes, I'll go with you" and her girlfriend cheering and buying a second ticket for a con. It's a friend half dragging another friend through an aquarium, the one being dragged laughing and calling out "Wait, wait, I know we're here for the exhibit, but I haven't been here! Slow down!"

It's being willing to spend some of your time trying something new because it makes someone you love happy.

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these are KILLING me

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Ok, loves, so we've all got the message that joking about suicide is bad for your mental health. Now we need to get on "joking that the planet/all of humanity has no future" is bad for societal health/encouraging resistance to bad shit."

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think that everyone has their own personal theme in life

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some blogs i follow for fan content but others i am 100% just there for the person so when theyre like oh sorry for turning into a so-and-so blog im like. i would watch you liveblog the phonebook.

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whoever writes the nyt connections categories is experiencing joan of arc type visions & hallucinations

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An age-old question aroaces get both from the outside and from personal doubts is “how can being aroace be about anything other than a lack? sure you have platonic bonds but allo people can have those too”

I used to compare this to how black and white photography has its own beauty you can appreciate on its own terms, but I’m feeling that less these days. It’s more like being able to see the stars without light pollution.

The stars are still there, but if you’re caught up in society’s amatonormativity and suffocating relationship structures you may never experience their full beauty. City lights have their own beauty, but they can choke out things you’re starved for beyond them.

(also fits with the whole “I’m not aromantic but I believe in their beliefs” thing I love seeing from people making an effort to understand)

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I guess a more general version of the point is that in the last 50-ish years, everyday language has borrowed more and more of both the terminology and structural features of technical language. This happens for a lot of reasons. But I think it's mostly not a good thing. For one, being abstract and technical is not actually very useful in the messy real world, where concepts are fuzzy and vague and most things of importance are not quantifiable. For another, if natural language borrows too much of the authority of science and the law, it might find that there's not enough left afterwards for science and the law to do what we need them to do.

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Fantasy is philosophy’s more gorgeously painted cousin. You can’t just tell a child a blunt fact about the human heart and expect them to believe you. That’s not how it works. You can’t scribble on a Post-it note for a 12-year-old: your strangeness is worth keeping, or your love will matter. You need to show it. And fantasy, with its limitless scope, gives us a way of offering longhand proof for otherwise inarticulable ideas: endurance and hatred and regret, and power and passion and death.

-Katherine Rundell, "Why children's books?"

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Happy pride month specifically to folks on the asexual and aromantic spectrum who oftentimes feel isolated and left out of the conversation. You belong here as much as the rest of us and I hope that you are all loved in a way that is comforting to you.

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Some women are conditioned to be fragile and weak, and to believe that it's a sin to outperform a man. Her feminism would involve allowing women to be strong.

Some women are expected to be strong at times when they can't. Her feminism would involve reassuring her that it's okay to not be strong.

Some neurodivergent people are raised to believe that they're too stupid to ever amount to anything. Their disability activism would involve reassuring them that they're capable.

Some neurodivergent people are raised to believe that they're smart and gifted, and are expected to live up to impossible standards. Their disability activism would involve allowing them to fail, make mistakes, be stupid, etc.

Some children are constantly reminded "you're the child, I'm the adult" in order to deny their autonomy. Their youth rights activism would involve treating them like an adult at times when they feel ready for it.

Some children are treated like adults in order to justify increased expectations or to downplay abuse against them. Their youth rights activism would involve allowing them to be a child.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to oppression. Each individual person's experience is different. Whatever trauma is caused by their oppression, the activism should focus on undoing it.

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People don’t realize how much we sound like other things because we are created from the same laws of physics. “That potato in the microwave sounds like it’s screaming” is funny because it really is, air is vibrating out of a small hole which is how our throat works too. The babbling river that sounds like humans whispering, that’s because it’s a wet hollow cave with echo delivering the same functionality. The river doesn’t just sound like us, we sound like a river. They use a metal trashcan to create a lion’s roar for movie sound effects. But the truth is, not only does a trashcan sound like a lion, a lion sounds like a trashcan. Cars purr when you turn them on. Everything is like everything else. Inanimate objects are not so far away from life as it seems.

Remember the next time you feel more alone in the company of large buildings, or maybe less alone among the rocks of the river, that they are not completely unlike the parts of you.

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learning that addiction is a progressive narrowing of the range of things that make one happy was kinda life changing for me. i apply it to everything not even just addiction i am always checking to ask if i am narrowing my range of happiness or widening it

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the more comfortable i get in my aromanticism the more annoyed i get by the careless disregard with which people force (romantic) love into places where it was intentionally absent or excluded. like i know i don't feel this thing like you do but i think i've given this more thought than you have. and you have the audacity to tell me that i didn't focus enough on the love that was there.