allneverknowingdustandgas

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i really do feel like i'm asking for a lot right now but please, please, please let them go well

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i'm putting this out into the universe

If I can get this one thing back then my soul will be eternally grateful

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

my stupid fucking bibliography won't fucking work and i'm so fucked cause i was meant to have submitted this fucking paper forever ago and i didn't and then i have to finish the fucking web page thing like. wat. the .actual. fuck. even. is. school. anymoreeeee

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i never knew the world could be so quiet

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

grape ice smells fucking amazing but that shit burned like hell

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i think i've accomplished the most peak point of evolution

it's like, my mind shut off. and now it's just kind of doing it's own thing up in my head

the only thing about your mind shutting off is that you slowly lose your ability to be a comprehensible human being

like. i can't spell shit anymore. which is important. for school and stuff. and yeah.

but also you just do such stupid shit that like younger you would never have though you'd do but you do it just because. that is the stupidest reason but yes

it's not even like i'm doing particularly well in school anymore. like. i don't know if i'll even pass anymore, let alone get top grades. but WHEN YOU SHUT YOUR MIND OFF it's like...well duh you panic over this shit but then after it's just kind of like. . . . .

NeVerminddd shutting off your mind is a lie by the aliens to take over our conciousnesses

like haven't you realized that everything here is complete and utter bullshit????????

?????

-_o

you haven't?

oh...well...shit...

it's fine. i don't think i have either

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i'm having actual trouble finding it in me to care today like fuck i don't want to wear a jacket or hoodie today let me just exist in my t-shirt but everything's so weird

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

can you even feel the void yet

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

it's so stupidly selfish but i do wish that things were different. like nothing feels worth it anymore

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i always think we might truly all be terribly, fucked but also maybe i'm just losing it progressively, like a spiral or maybe i just need to sleep

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i would dedicate my life for a cold sprite

there's nothing else in the world that could be as perfect

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i think i've reached half a point but i can't ever really tell

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

off limit topics

future plans and slash or career plans

graduating and university

sexuality

grades

the color red

relationships (romantic or other)

the possibility of never finding the end of the world or the ether

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

i just tried drawing and it was horrible. like i can't even try to like it. i don't know, i don't think i like drawing anymore

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

in a very shitty vulnerable way...

sometimes i think the best thing that could happen to me is finding someone that loves me. like the kind of person i can have a connection with that feels like a movie. the kind of thing that gives everything i could ever possibly need and it wouldn't drain me of my fucking will to exist

but also the idea of loving anyone makes me sick to my stomach. like i want to vomit and cry every time i think about it because i can't ever imagine merging souls with anyone. it makes me think about all the shit i'd have to change or put out there if i ever want to be loved but i don't even want to do that. maybe because some part of me hates the idea of loving anyone? or maybe i'm just fucked. i just don't want to have a soulmate in any form, platonic or otherwise

i just want to be a lone being, floating through the planes of space, away, away, away and into the ether

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

its a bit fucked how sitting at a desk and doing well on a bunch of random questions determines the rest of your fucking life. like in my head i have this whole other world that i would much rather disappear into kinda like coraline going through the door to the other world but minus the killer mother

[allneverknowingdustandgas]

my head is killing me and it just won't stop