alltimelexis

[alltimelexis]

I am hanging from a hook in the ceiling

like animal carcass.

I am splayed open, salted and tenderized.

My fatty bits sectioned off with bakers twine.

Red juices weep from my wounds.

Not blood, but the meat sweating

for better flavor.

A heavy palm comes down hard on my rump.

He lifts from the flank.

He samples the breast.

Hunger animates his body but he knows he must wait until the meat is ready.

He massages oils into the fibrous texture.

Working it in with the strong flat pads of his thumbs and fingers.

The meat is shivering.

The meat is shaking.

I’m told this is a chemical process.

Even once dead and removed from the body,

the meat dances on the table.

Due to the residual energy and nerve endings present in the tissue.

The flesh will twitch.

But it must be ready.

When it is ready he’ll carve it off in slabs,

and drop them into his mouth;

a mouse falling into the mouth of a snake

hanging by the tail.

He’ll glide the knife under the muscle

and it will slide down his throat

but it must be ready.

The meat is hanging but will not dry.

It drips

and drips

more juices.

The air is escaping.

The tendons are loosening.

He ties her off again and again.

Soon little lamb.

Soon.

- MEAT 2024

[alltimelexis]

playing cards (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) + view here

[alltimelexis]

[alltimelexis]

[alltimelexis]

“I feel very small. I don't understand. I have so much courage, fire, energy, for many things, yet I get so hurt, so wounded by small things.”

Anaïs Nin, from nearer the moon: the previously unpublished unexpurgated diary,1937-1939

[alltimelexis]

The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947

[alltimelexis]

I’ve been on my knees since I was 5.

In the chapel,

in a bedroom,

in an alley late at night.

Always facing an inflated

godlike

version of some guy.

But as a girl you do what you need to survive.

You open wider, take the body.

Thank your father, you’ve been naughty.

2 Hail Marys, 20 lashings.

“I’ve been sent to punish you for daring to exist.

You will never know a love as meaningful as this.”

I’ve memorized

the lines

since I was 10.

From the Bible,

from the playbook,

from the magazines for men.

If you should mess it up, you’ll start again.

But, still, they only want

the women

they condemn.

I think that I’d have too much fun in hell.

With the pagans

and the hedonists

and sapphics there as well.

Purgatory seems the better fit

I can’t stand waiting in the corner,

but I do love being hit.

There’s not a torture you can prescribe

that I wouldn’t find

a way to like.

Every single second I’m alive

I’m sharpening an axe I’d like to grind.

“I was sent to punish you

for the way I was designed.

You will never know a love

that you fear more than mine.”

- “God Fear a Woman” 2023

[alltimelexis]

I am keeping a secret. I am sucking on it like a lozenge that just won’t get smaller. I am passing it back and forth between my teeth, like a ball on a field between the legs of a bored player. It is not a happy secret, like a diamond in a velvet box in a sweaty pocket. It’s a secret like a loaded gun sewn into the lining of my sweater’s hood, aimed directly for the back of my head. It is a cartoon piano suspended above me. It is a manhole threatening to spontaneously collapse beneath my feet. It is a cloud of noxious gas meticulously attached to only the molecules I misguidedly breathe. It is in my shadow, and it singes the concrete where I stand. It is the sad clink of an empty glass on New Year’s Eve. It is a nap in the passenger seat from which I will never wake up. I am keeping a secret. I am hoarding it. You will find it amongst yellowed mountains of books in a garage, when you find me. This is not a promise, it is a confession. I am keeping a secret.

[alltimelexis]

⊹ 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕘𝕠 𝕠𝕦𝕥 ⊹ 🗓 17/08/22 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

ᛋᛈᛖᚨᚲ ᚢᛋᛖᚠᚢᛚ ᚹᛟᚱᛞᛋ ᛟᚱ ᛒᛖ ᛋᛁᛚᛖᚾᛏ • ᚺᚨᚹᚨᛗᚨᛚ 🗓 16/08/22 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

ᚦᛖ ᚲᚨᚢᛏᛁᛟᚢᛋ ᚷᚢᛖᛋᛏ ᚹᚺᛟ ᚲᛟᛗᛖᛋ ᛏᛟ ᚦᛖ ᛏᚨᛒᛚᛖ ᛋᛈᛖᚨᚲᛋ ᛋᛈᚨᚱᛁᛝᛚᛃ ᛚᛁᛋᛏᛖᚾᛋ ᚹᛁᚦ ᛖᚨᚱᛋ ᛚᛖᚨᚱᚾᛋ ᚹᛁᚦ ᛖᛃᛖᛋ • ᛋᚢᚲᚺ ᛁᛋ ᚦᛖ ᛋᛖᛖᚲᛖᚱ ᛟᚠ ᚲᚾᛟᚹᛚᛖᛞᚷᛖ • ᚺᚨᚹᚨᛗᚨᛚ 🗓 16/08/22 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

ᚾᛖᚹᛖᚱ ᚹᚨᛚᚲ ᚨᚹᚨᛃ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᚺᛟᛗᛖ ᚨᚺᛖᚨᛞ ᛟᚠ ᛃᛟᚢᚱ ᚨᚲᛋᛖ ᚨᚾᛞ ᛋᚹᛟᚱᛞ ᛃᛟᚢ ᚲᚨᚾᛏ ᚠᛖᛖᛚ ᚨ ᛒᚨᛏᛏᛚᛖ ᛁᚾ ᛃᛟᚢᚱ ᛒᛟᚾᛖᛋ ᛟᚱ ᚠᛟᚱᛖᛋᛖᛖ ᚨ ᚠᛁᚷᚺᛏ • ᚺᚨᚹᚨᛗᚨᛚ 🗓 16/08/22 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

≋ 𝔊𝔬 𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔢 𝔞 𝔟𝔦𝔤 𝔤𝔦𝔯𝔩, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔰𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 ≋ 🗓 30/07/22 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

❍︎ 𝔉𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔪𝔢 '𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔢 ℑ'𝔩𝔩 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲 ❍︎ 🗓 30/07/22 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝕴 𝖚𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖊 🗓 30/07/22 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

⧫︎ 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔯𝔶 ⧫︎ 🗓 28/05/22 📍 Schloss Berlepsch - Hessen/Germany 📷 shot with the iPhone 12

[alltimelexis]

⧫︎ 𝔰𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔥𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔶 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔩 ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔥 ⧫︎ 🗓 28/05/22 📍 Schloss Berlepsch - Hessen/Germany 📷 shot with the iPhone 12