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ohhhh that ballerina farm article ☹️

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Reading this hurt my heart. Especially this part:

The bedroom is also where she had her children, with the exception of Henry and Martha, who were born in a hospital (a fact that did not escape some of her followers). “After that I was, like, I’m ready to go back home,” she says. “I just love having them at home. It’s so quiet.” She also gave birth to them without pain relief. None at all? She shakes her head. Why? “I don’t know, I just have never loved taking it.” She stops herself. “Except with Martha — I was two weeks overdue and she was 10lb and Daniel wasn’t with me … ” She lowers her voice. Daniel is currently out of the room taking a phone call. “So I got an epidural. And it was an amazing experience.” Where was Daniel that day? “It was shipping day [for the meat boxes] and he was manning the crew.” But the epidural was kind of great? She pauses — and smiles. “It was kinda great.”

I want to ask her about birth control, but we are surrounded by so many of her children and Daniel is back in the room now too. Do you — I pause and look at her fixedly — plan pregnancies? “No,” Daniel says. “When he says no,” Neeleman responds gently, “it’s very much a matter of prayer for me. I’m, like, ‘God, is it time to bring another one to the Earth?’ And I’ve never been told no.”

“But for whatever reason it’s exactly nine months [after a baby] that she’s ready for the next one,” he says.

I can’t, it seems, get an answer out of Neeleman without her being corrected, interrupted or answered for by either her husband or a child. Usually I am doing battle with steely Hollywood publicists; today I am up against an army of toddlers who all want their mum and a husband who thinks he knows better.

[alltoowsll]

Reading this hurt my heart. Especially this part:

The bedroom is also where she had her children, with the exception of Henry and Martha, who were born in a hospital (a fact that did not escape some of her followers). “After that I was, like, I’m ready to go back home,” she says. “I just love having them at home. It’s so quiet.” She also gave birth to them without pain relief. None at all? She shakes her head. Why? “I don’t know, I just have never loved taking it.” She stops herself. “Except with Martha — I was two weeks overdue and she was 10lb and Daniel wasn’t with me … ” She lowers her voice. Daniel is currently out of the room taking a phone call. “So I got an epidural. And it was an amazing experience.” Where was Daniel that day? “It was shipping day [for the meat boxes] and he was manning the crew.” But the epidural was kind of great? She pauses — and smiles. “It was kinda great.”

I want to ask her about birth control, but we are surrounded by so many of her children and Daniel is back in the room now too. Do you — I pause and look at her fixedly — plan pregnancies? “No,” Daniel says. “When he says no,” Neeleman responds gently, “it’s very much a matter of prayer for me. I’m, like, ‘God, is it time to bring another one to the Earth?’ And I’ve never been told no.”

“But for whatever reason it’s exactly nine months [after a baby] that she’s ready for the next one,” he says.

I can’t, it seems, get an answer out of Neeleman without her being corrected, interrupted or answered for by either her husband or a child. Usually I am doing battle with steely Hollywood publicists; today I am up against an army of toddlers who all want their mum and a husband who thinks he knows better.

[alltoowsll]

[alltoowsll]

yesterday this tiny cat started following me home, until we walked past a chinese takeaway, at which point she fell to the sirens call of shrimp fried rice

[alltoowsll]

TAYLOR SWIFT The Eras Tour - Los Angeles, CA - August 9th, 2023. Photographed by Paolo V.

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https://archive.ph/QIdK4

Non pay walled version!

THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR ✨✨✨

[alltoowsll]

People really underestimate the power of just telling someone you like them. romantically obviously but hell even just platonically too. You can admit you enjoy peoples presence it doesn’t have to be mind games it’s okay to just be sincere and true with your thoughts and intentions btw

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does anyone has access to this article by any chance??? I wanna read it so bad but it’s asking me for a payment :(

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Here is the profile from The Times on Ballerina Farm if you'd like to read it, I've only had time to skim it but holy shit. Her husband does a lot of talking for her in this article and it does paint a picture that was even bleaker than I think most people realized.

It sounds like she is just run ragged, contrary to popular belief she does not have any help in the day to day at all, and it apparently gets to the point where he husband says she can be in bed for days from pure exhaustion. it also sounds like her husband pushed her to give up her previous ambitions to start a family quicker than she originally wanted, so she tries so hard to fit pursuing her own goals into an insane schedule but it's just too much for one person to do most of the time.

Anyway this article really paints her husband as a controlling asshole, and for the first time ever I'm feeling a lot of sympathy for Hannah.

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i just read that the times article on ballerina farm and on god...that woman is a victim 😭

[alltoowsll]

♡ SABRINA CARPENTER vanity fair

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As I Was Moving Ahead Occasionally I Saw Brief Glimpses of Beauty, dir. Jonas Mekas, 2000.

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Man fuck that shit. Y'all need to have that 2020 energy for Sonya Massey. What the fuck?

[alltoowsll]

if you can stomach it i would recommend watching the body cam footage of the sonya massey killing, i'll try to describe it but it's hardly possible. you can't truly understand the type of extreme, completely volatile aggression that happens with cops if you haven't seen it, and it's captured here very harrowingly.

several officers are in her house, calmly talking with her about her id and vehicle papers for some time. it's routine administrative stuff, no acute danger or stress whatsoever. one of them tells her to take her pot off the stove, remarking that they don't need a fire in the house now, she walks over into the kitchen and complies. he suddenly backs off towards the front door despite already being several feet away. she asks him where he's going, he says "away from your hot, steaming water." she repeats "my hot, steamin' water?" in an amused tone. then adds "i rebuke you in the name of jesus," in a similar joking tone while pouring the water down the sink. the atmosphere is completely calm, you might even say amiable.

she's at this point still separated from the cops by her kitchen aisle and several feet of additional distance. the cop prompts her to repeat what she said, she repeats her joke about rebuking him in the name of jesus [with the scary water she just poured out]. she doesn't even realise there's been a complete 180 in his head. he goes "you better fucking not, i will shoot you in your fucking face," she's stunned by the sudden abusive language for half a second, immediately he draws his gun directly at her head, she gets out a panicked "sorry!" and ducks behind the aisle, he rounds the corner into the kitchen specifically to advance right next to her, immediately fires 3 shots at her head from above at minimal distance. she's dead where she stood, or cowered rather, by the sink in her nightgown.

after a few seconds you hear the click of him turning on his body cam, saying "she came at me with a pot of boiling water." for the recording. he also nonchalantly tells his partner there's no need to get a med kit because it was a headshot. it's one of the most clear cut cases ever and it's fully recorded only because his partner did already have the body cam on throughout.

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[alltoowsll]

Justice for Sonya Massey

RIP

SAY HER NAME