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[alone-together-fiction]

Mount Tai

After a 10-hour trip in a stuffed train, we reach the foot of Mount Tai, Lica loaded down with backpacks to her knees, filled water flasks and enough pork floss to feed a family of five. I peek over the shoulders of a tall Asian tourist wearing a gray stained shirt, his navel exposed, and poke Lica’s right forearm to signal our arrival at the South Gates to Heaven. Only 6000 stairs and the summit of the sacred mountain are left between us. The tradition notes that every teen must mount each step before they reach the age of 18 in order to live a happy life. My mother made it to the top 40 years ago, and my brother and dad five years. With cheap fans against the burning summer heat, we climb the steep stairway. We pass sellers of crafted luck charms and slim Western tourists, equipped with goggles and navy blue bike shorts. They storm up the stairs at astonishing speeds of 6 mph in the form of zig-zags. Halfway through Lica suddenly bursts into laughter, almost stumbling into the Chinese couple ahead of us. To shield her eyes from the pungent beams of the sun, she swiftly pulls down the tip of the green cap she found while roaming through grandpa’s old workroom two months ago. Stunned at her genuine smile, the grin she always wore before the incident, I completely forget to ask for the cause of the sudden outburst but I don't mind the cluelessness. We both buy jade bracelets and traditional youtiao sticks to stuff our energy-drained bodies. After 6 hours of endless breakdowns and encounters with people posing with selfie sticks, we finally arrive at the peak of Mount Tai. Little ramen restaurants line the sides of the large walls encircling us and temples rooted in history are scattered throughout the village. We lean over the stone fence, staring at the green valley beneath us. Lica lifts her right arm and reaches for the clouds just meters above us with tears in her eyes.

“Do you think he’s watching us right now?” She speaks for the first time today.

My eyes meet hers. They seem darker than usual or maybe I just haven't looked at them in a long time.

Lica bursts into laughter again and this time I join her, still clueless.

"He is," I say once we've collected ourselves again. We don't speak for the rest of the trip but it's okay. We'll be okay.

[alone-together-fiction]

Strangers on a Train

I saw you last Sunday morning on the subway driving to Heiligenstadt. You stepped through the gray-red metal doors with a black beanie and red scarf embracing your lean shoulders, the words "Unter St. Veit" written in green letters behind you. Despite my dishevelled hair, puffy skin and tattered sheer tights, you glanced in my direction from your window seat. Exactly one row in front of me. I silently counted the times our eyes met, wondering whether you’d come over and ask “Where have you been all my life?” if I smiled at you. 5 stations passed and you still faced me with ocean blue eyes and no caution for my furious heart, jumping out of my heaving chest. Passengers flooded the train but for a short moment, it was just you and me. Images of candlelit dinners and drive-in theatres filled my naive mind. I didn't even know your name and yet, you felt more familiar than the already faded graffiti that adorned every foggy window and compartment. I tried to forget you by replacing your gorgeous face with random strangers, sitting left and right from you, but as soon as your left pinky finger fluttered against the edge of your seat, my loneliness lost all meaning again. I wish that we had left the train together at its 15th station but you stood up when the conductor announced Schönbrunn, three stops before mine. With every step you made, my thoughts got louder and louder but my voice quivered with every breath. I couldn’t utter a single word, possibly because you were too good to be true or because I was a coward. Would you have turned around and stormed into my arms if I had just said a simple hello? Pressing my palms against the scarred glass, I hoped to catch a last glimpse of your blue eyes peeking out from beneath your black beanie but you vanished into just another dark figure in the crowd when you stepped through the gray-red metal doors and turned your face away from me. Vienna was a large city which meant that I'd probably never see you again. My stop was Längenfeldgasse, the street in which Sophie lived. You never met Sophie and you never will and I will never tell her about you. Still, on that train ride, you were mine and that will always remain. Yesterday, I saw you again.

[alone-together-fiction]

Empty House

The rattling of keyboard keys jolted me awake like a thunderclap. I rose from my bed and glanced outside my window. There was a single star in the void night sky. Jackson’s deep voice roared through the thin concrete wall separating our bedrooms. I groaned in irritation and buried my face in the smooth fabric of my pink duvet, cursing the fatuous online game that caused my brother to become an addict 2 years ago. Since then, he had become a mere silhouette of his former self and a stranger that I knew a little too well. Suddenly the loud roars of thrill and adrenaline ceased and panic overcame me. I didn't want to care but in this empty house, he was everything I had. I sprinted into Jackson’s room and my breath hitched. His dark eyes were puffy, his hair tousled and his cheekbones protruded from the rest of his slim face. I couldn't even recognize him anymore. Had it really been that long since I last saw him? My brother lay on the floor, clenching his laptop between his feeble, pale arms like it was his dearest treasure, the words "Game Over" written on it. My fear turned into instant rage. “When will you finally start caring about me?” I cried, jerked the notebook from his grip and smashed it against the concrete wall. Glass pieces flew through the air before piercing my skin like thin needles. Jackson slowly stood up and stared at the blood gushing out of my forearm. He didn't say anything before wrapping his arms around me. His touch felt so cold, yet so familiar. I tried holding back tears, but before I knew it, my body gave in. I wept into his white shirt like a lost child who finally found her way back home.