alostlittleriverlotus - Tumblr blog

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Wowee! the Candy Canyon Kingdom looks so bright and colorful!! What an amazing adventure this is going to be! ....right guys?

[alostlittleriverlotus]

literally can't even have suspected diagnoses/shit I'm gonna get examined/tested for/discuss in case I have it without my mother literally downplaying it. I mentioned how my inhaler has already helped me breathe better and how asthma seems likely especially with everything else in me that asthma might affect/other stuff that might affect asthma and she already fucking downplays it.

Can you just fucking let me have an issue without making it seem less bad? Cause it IS bad. Stfu. Actually stfu. Shut up!!! Ugh. Even back to when I first got diagnosed with GAD, she downplayed it. She downplays my OCD cause she thinks cause she has OCD too that they're equal. She still ignores and downplays my autism and how I literally cannot be independent cause of it. She completely overdramatizes yet downplays any trauma I mention. She overreacted when I mentioned migraines which made me backtrack and lie and then she just completely ignores my constant fucking headaches. Every time I mention a worrying symptom of anything, she downplays it despite apparently being "worried about me" even though her worry just means: wanting me to be a functional, independent, and productive member of society that can work and live alone.

Can you just fucking listen to me for once?! Just actually fucking stop downplaying my disabilities because you don't want to accept that they ARE this bad!!! Stop, it literally just feels like you're fucking denying my god damn reality!!!

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Okay but I'm actually kind of starting to hate mainstream neurodiversity social media spaces. I hate all those infographics that look like boring corporate power point slides. I hate that neurodivergent has just come to mean autism and adhd while other neurominorities are ignored or even further stigmatized by these spaces. I hate this constant focus on how autistic people can be super empathetic and have lots of friends and work in high paying professional jobs. I hate the demonization of people with low empathy. I hate the empathification of autism. I hate how my friend was called a eugenics apologist for saying it's okay to use the word aspergers. I hate the constant policing. I hate the pathologization of every trait. I hate essentialist understandings of psychiatric diagnoses. I hate the quirkification of it all. I hate the buzzfeedification of mental health. I hate tiktok psychiatry. I hate capitalism selling us back the traumas it's inflicted on us as products.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

it's actually terrifying how quickly the concept of self care (originally a radical concept rooted in the black panther party's efforts to support other black ppl living through racism) became another tool of self-management which is viewed as both a moral obligation + an individual responsibility. businesses + employers + other institutions now easily wield it as a progressive way to say "if you're upset about xyz, make yourself get over it". "we are going to treat you like shit + you need to learn how to cope with that or else you're doing something wrong"

i have seen job listings where "ability to practice self care" was listed as a requirement for employment. as a case worker, we were repeatedly drilled on "self-care" as a response to unconscionably high case loads, traumatizing experiences, dead end job obligations, + poor living conditions due to subpar pay/high stress. my clients would go to appointments regarding their evictions, food insecurity, active domestic violence situations, etc + receive tips on "self care" without any tangible community, legal, or structural support to follow.

everyone absolutely deserves to care for themselves + it is useful to circulate affirmations + advice on how to do this. this should happen within communities, through a sincere concern/love for one another, as a way of helping everyone live the best life possible while we work towards total liberation. it should not be a replacement for caring for one another!!! it should be one of many ways of caring for one another!!!

[alostlittleriverlotus]

i think we should always take predominant sexes and races for psychiatric disabilities into question.

are men really more likely to be antisocial or narcissistic, or are women just overlooked because ASPD/NPD are seen as too "aggressive" for them?

are women really more likely to be borderline or histrionic, or are they just seen as so "hysterical" that they have to be feminine?

are black people more likely to have schizophrenia or ODD, or are labels of "psychosis" and "defiance" simply used to further dismiss, oppress, and imprison BIPOC?

are white people more likely to have autism and ADHD, or are doctors just more willing to accept that white children are disabled and not just "bad?"

oppressive biases are everywhere in psychiatry. never take psychiatric demographics at face value.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

no but being told to use your communication coping skills when talking to abusive people is bullshit. abusers do not listen to their victims no matter how reasonable we are.

like. anything that shows we're an individual with thoughts and feelings is going to make an abuser double down. using "i feel" statements isn't going to help if your abuser lashes out at you for showing feelings. speaking calmly isn't going to help if your abuser is threatening you. gently stating what you need isn't going to help if your abuser neglects even your simplest needs.

also so many of us hide our anger and rage. we dont speak our mind, because it's dangerous. it's the most threatening thing to an abuser... but it's also the most empowering for us. anger is the feeling that tells us something is wrong, and we need to embrace it. because our anger is not the danger - our abuser's reaction to it is, and that reaction is not our fault.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

New research: shining light on dehumanising discrimination faced by asexual people

10,2% of all asexuals are victims of conversion therapy (compared to: homosexual: 7,6%, pansexual: 6,6%, bisexual: 5,2% people)

18.1% of ace respondents said a disclosure of their sexual orientation had had a negative impact on their health care. 

The pathologisation of asexuality continues to affect the acceptance and understanding of this orientation, as well as the well-being of asexual people.

Asexuality is still a pathologised sexual orientation in the UK under the ICD, with the inclusion of “Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder" (HSDD). [...] It was the campaigning of asexual people in the US that led to the amendment of HSDD in the DSM-5. Although HSSD continues to exist as a type of ‘sexual dysfunction’ - under the more gendered form of “Female sexual interest/arousal disorder” and “Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder” - a qualifier was added. It states that “if a lifelong lack of sexual desire is better explained by one’s self-identification as ‘asexual,’ then a diagnosis should not be made.” While this does not protect those who have not yet discovered that they are asexual, it is a step in the right direction. It is a step that has not taken place in the UK.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

happy lesbian visibility week! im a dyke :) (im gonna make something better, i swear)

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Once while I was at work a grown ass man told me "no matter how tough you act you'll never be a man, just like I'll never be a woman" and I know he MEANT like "I'm tougher than you because women are weak" but I heard it in Queer and went "Oh.... sweetheart" and he just completely recoiled it was insane

[alostlittleriverlotus]

He’s coming to boop you

[alostlittleriverlotus]

the man who owns and runs the thai restaurant in my town knows me by name. he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful men i know. i started ordering from his place back in january, which was when i got my fibromyalgia diagnosis. back then i was using a walker, had limited mobility in my entire body but especially my hands, and was very visibly in pain. i always ordered the same thing: yellow curry with no meat, potatoes and carrots only (i have texture and other dietary issues). he always made it a point to make sure i could get out the door and carry the food safely. he had his workers package the food so that it was easier for me to open. as i kept coming back and i told him a little bit about my health status, he would always encourage me to keep going. he told me about how the spices he used were good for inflammation and began to edit the recipe just for me so that spices that were even better for fighting inflammation were used. he’d give me extra portions and despite the fact that i would tip every time, i realized later that he never charged my card for them. as time went on and my condition began to get better, especially with the help of a physical therapist, he would make encouraging remarks and tell me how happy he was for me. the day i came in without my walker, he practically jumped for joy, and despite my insistence, he gave me my meal for free that day. i continue to make progress with my conditions and i continue to go to the thai place. this man who does not know me personally and who i hardly know anything about is one of my favorite people. it’s interactions with humans like these that make loving life easier. and his curry really does help my chronic condition. it’s comfort food taken to the next level.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

they have that ugly used car salesman drip but dont be fooled they sell silly toys

it do be like that when theyre stressed man i hate when i get all nervous and cough confetti hairballs

[alostlittleriverlotus]

The Secret Garden by Inga Moore

[alostlittleriverlotus]

moon snail 🌕

[alostlittleriverlotus]

[alostlittleriverlotus]

okayyyyyy. Wet Snorting creature.