alphaling - Tumblr blog

[alphaling]

Update: my home laptop might be broken, so I'm stuck on mobile until further notice.

[alphaling]

[alphaling]

Things DM Hughes is sick of

Mustang: “i seduce the ______”

Al trying to negotiate his way out of every fight despite having one of the strongest characters

Ed starting every fight (even when he’s talking to unimportant NPCs who Hughes didn’t think to fucking bother giving stats to)

Greed trying to steal literally every item they come across

Ling somehow eating every scrap of food Hughes has in his house while playing

Mustang either gets 1s or 20s. It’s ridiculous

Hawkeye almost never gets bad rolls. It’s also ridiculous

Hughes: “i uh. That may not be the best course of acti-“

Everyone: “hold my beer”

Al trying to pet every wild animal and vaguely furry monster they come across

Ed pointing out all the scientific/logical flaws in the campaign when “it’s a FANTASY WORLD EDWARD you have to have a little SUSPENSION OF BELIEF”

Ling: “i jump off the roof, PARKOUR” “i leap out the window, PARKOUR” “i fall off the cliff, PARKOUR”

Hughes: “you walk into the tiny village”

Greed: “it’s my village now. I’m taking over”

Hughes: “y…you can’t just”

Greed: “i tell all the villagers to bow before me”

Ling seeing through all the plot twists Hughes tries to set up

Hawkeye’s severe, disappointed look whenever Hughes fucks the characters over that always results in bad luck for Hughes for the next few days (she swears she had nothing to do with his flat tires but he knows)

Ling and Ed keep fucking quoting vines

Ed: *gets hurt* “mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick”

Ling: *something bad happens* “hwhy? Hhhhhwhy? Hhhwhy? Hwhy? Hwhy?”

Hughes: “it is a very powerful stone-“

Ling: “What, you mean like a chaos emerald?”

Whenever Greed’s character switches to his Ultimate Shield form, he insists everyone pause the game while he plays an anime magical girl transformation song

one time Al switched it to the ‘form voltron’ song

and then someone made it the John Cena thing and no one knows who it was (it was Hawkeye)

Greed’s character keeps trying to use vicious mockery, except Greed’s insults usually boil down to ‘your mom’ jokes and an overusage of the words ‘pissant’ and ‘peon’

also, Hughes: “the door is spelled shut”

Greed: “i use vicious mockery on it”

Hughes: “y- it won’t work”

Mustang: “I seduce the door”

[alphaling]

greed has approximately three (3) subscribers and that’s heinkel, darius, and edward

[alphaling]

[alphaling]

Greed, and Ling, and Greedling oh my

[alphaling]

Ling and Avara have collected an interesting array of animals over the years, three big cats, two dogs, a wolf, a pygmy elephant, a fox and a rabbit, along with a strange paranormal cat a pipe fox and a pipe dragon as well. And while they don’t say so outright, Zhen and Erzi are also part of this collection.

[alphaling]

Cleaning time with Miska the panther and @alphaling

[alphaling]

fun facts i’m just remembering about this au:

-- ling had a full blown mental breakdown before he left xing, hence doing so in the first place

-- he hadn’t actually planned on returning but convinced lan fan he did because he didn’t want to worry her 

-- she’s the one he sent back with word of his ‘death’, and so she’s one of the few people that knows he’s not. he has not talked to her in a long time

-- both ling and [at least with @youalljustlivehere] greed ended up with parts of one another’s memories and personalities, hence the mental breakdown happening to begin with

-- sometimes he can’t remember who he actually is and this messes with his perception of just about everything c’:

[alphaling]

It's late and therefore time to flop against his shoulder and nap

Late nights always were the best time to steal a few quiet moments together; between the menagerie of pets and the kids they never seemed to have them so much as he’d like, even considering times like these where the moon was high and most tended to sleep. Even so, extracting his arm from under her so he could wrap it around her and hug her close took a bit of wriggling - hopefully she’d not mind that, or the fact that he was being a bit quiet tonight. 

It had been a long day, and some quality time was more than welcome, so he was content to lean into her and remain quiet. Though, he would cave to the urge to give her a few gentle kisses across her cheeks and forehead, humming softly as he did so; lingering exhaustion from day to day life could hardly bother him in moments like these, dozing off though he may be. Whether he’d sleep was another question entirely, but one that could happily remain unanswered.

Eventually he decided to break the silence, first by gently nipping at her ear and then whispering into it - he didn’t know if she were asleep yet, but hopefully she’d heard him nonetheless, even if it hardly needed saying. “I love you, Ava.”

[alphaling]

“It’s hard for me to believe anything you say.”

As much as he wanted to come up with a good comeback to that, he couldn’t off the bat.

After all, wasn’t it the case that he himself couldn’t trust anything he said? At very least it was on occasion, and the fact it bled over into interactions with others wasn’t so much a surprise as it was validation of something he’d known for some time. However, the comment still stung and the former emperor found himself at a loss for words for a moment, one hand gesturing vaguely but no retort being given just yet. He sighed and rubbed at the nape of his neck, thinking over it for a moment before opting with the easiest [and laziest] out; he then gave a sharp-toothed grin and shrugged, all smiles but no real emotion present behind it.

“Too bad, that sounds like more of a you problem and less of a me one.” Here a pause, as if he were considering it, hands moving to his hips to perch there almost casually - acting like he didn’t give a damn was all too easy these days, practically second nature unless you knew where to look for how he really felt. This time it was his feet that betrayed him - he was shifting from one to another uneasily, as if he’d rather be anywhere but here, having a conversation of this sort. “Well? Is there anything else you wanted to pester me with?”

[alphaling]

those lonely nights aren’t so lonely anymore

[alphaling]

[alphaling]

text set in helvetica

[alphaling]

my esteemed rival,

[alphaling]

can you buy a real human skull on ebay