altohauser - Tumblr blog

[altohauser]

i call my parents and say ‘yeah i can’t do family stuff tonight, i got too much stuff to do for school’ and i e-mail my professor and say ‘i can’t do my assignments tonight, work got crazy’ and i text my boss and say ‘sorry i can’t work late tonight, i gotta some family stuff’ and through this triangulation of deceitful excuses i at last will be free

[altohauser]

This child who came to my house tonight is literally the funniest human being on the planet. She complimented me on having both lollipops and mini Three Musketeers available because "a lot of houses these days don't give you a fruit flavor option." She was very solemn about this.

[altohauser]

[altohauser]

none of your videogame faves are heterosexual or cisgender. theyre actually having gay sex whenever your straight player character leaves the area .its coded into the game you just cant see it. in all games

[altohauser]

Allison: We should have left you in the basement

Me:

[altohauser]

Genuinely obsessed with Diego Hargreeves being more upset with Stan trying to dissolve klaus’s body over Stan killing klaus. Got his priorities straight

[altohauser]

Jayme's venom makes the victim see what they want most, right?

So Diego's most wanted thing was to participate in a dance battle with his siblings against the sparrows. This is the most in character thing ever for him me thinks

[altohauser]

When Five hallucinated Dolores, we see that he actually acted out what he was imaging in real life (we see him make out with air) so does that mean Diego did a whole dance routine by himself and no one mentioned it?? I need to know

[altohauser]

Diego and Allison: Hey let's go beat the shit out of racists

[altohauser]

Each season the umbrella siblings riot in their numerical order - Luther screwed things up in the first season, then we have Diego and his obsession with JFK, and now there is Allison pulling a Wanda Maximoff.

[altohauser]

I find it so funny on how inconsistent the sibling in the umbrella academy are

Cause like Viktor will get a scratch on his face and there all ready to square down with who did it

But luther goes missing for like a whole day and they pay no mind

[altohauser]

The way I never even thought to question if the dance battle was real, I just thought yeah, Reginald Hargreeves would make all of his kids learn a complicated dance battle choreography, this makes sense.

[altohauser]

Boys karaoke night

[altohauser]

diego hargreeves has exactly one solution to everything.

[altohauser]

Lila talking about the umbrella academy:

[altohauser]

ben spends the whole season trying to be big and tough and mean and scary but literally any time the umbrellas see him theyre like :D!!! ben!!!! its ben!!! love you ben!!! and it makes him so mad that theyre ruining his joker moment like this

[altohauser]

no duo will ever radiate such chaotic energy