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i never allow myself to make mistakes and when i make them i feel like everyone hates me and the world is crumbling

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the hold this fic has over me

Chapter 22 of Felo De Se is now LIVE!

I know, two chapters in less than a year? It's a miracle!

Chapter 22; Sea-foam, Sand, Staying (Of Virtues Given and Choices Made) can be read HERE!

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maybe im just lonely

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i hate how empty today made me feel. i tried to eat it away, tried to chase it away with things i know i like but the emptiness persists and i do not like it because the void may not be as empty as id like to believe it to be because had i been standing in the middle of the road with an incoming truck ahead, i fear i might not have moved

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the voices in my head do not scare me. they are my own. what frightens me is the silence. the silence that allows breadth for my thoughts. i am most frightened of the things my mind can conjure.

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but you 🥺

Norm Lewis sings It All Fades Away from The Bridges of Madison County [London, 11 April 2018]

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Paglisan is a show of potential. I love the way the plot and characters are weaved together. The songs are heartfelt. It's bittersweet. It's also a reminder that Philippine Cinema has hope beyond the mainstream clichés.

Paglisan (The Leaving)

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Hailey Kilgore is amazing hats down

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The way he screeches while she attempts to drive is like my dad whenever I drive. The only difference is he tells her to slow down. My dad badgers me to step on the gas.

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I have so many feels and I don't know where to even begin unrolling all these coils but I rewatched Dong Yi.

For context purposes, Dong Yi is my childhood k-drama. I distincly remember being scolded by my mom for staying up so late on a school night because I wanted to watch the televised episodes. Recently, I've had a brush in with COVID and I needed something to chase away all the bad juju because my MH was deteriorating. And since I still had an active Viu subscription, I decided to seek out comfort from my childhood show and to my not-so-surprise, it felt just as warm as going home after a hard day's work. I was so amazed that Ji Jinhee was the king that I've been thinking of (He and Kim Hee Ae in Second to Last Love are my reel parents). I've found him all along.

Dong Yi felt just as magical to me. And then, there is also the fact that I have been spiralling down the Jang Nara rabbit hole the past month and it turns out that she's the one who sang the theme song. I was so stoked when I discovered that! Furthermore, I've been a little obsessed with Jang Nara's The Last Empress because that woman can most definitely pull off a look in a Hanbok and I realized that after all this time, I was patterning what I wanted to see after Dong Yi. Childhood k-drama and idealism indeed.

I've finished my rewatch and understand the show better now. Truly, there are simply just some things that one should reread/rewatch at different points in their lives because their meanings change with the depth we understand life, or hope to understand in the very least. Dong Yi gave me a happy ending and I couldn't be happier. As of this moment, I am listening to Jang Nara's Walking on a Dreamy Road and attempting to screech along it. My pronunciation is bad and I might be a hopeless case but we could all hope to walk down a closed dreamy road, couldn't we?

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pls off broadway shows are *chef's kiss*

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Helen's Etude is [censored]ing with my head poor woman

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Ima Castro singing Dulaang UP's Lukso ng Dugo sends me 😭

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PH Hadestown production yes methinks *fingers crossed*

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oh. my. god.

ti moune’s journey to prove that love is stronger than death was already proven from the start during forever yours when she willingly offered up her life for daniel’s, in doing so she has shown death she is not afraid and thus does not need to prove herself further by literally dying for daniel, however with the encouragement of erzulie, most notably in part of the human heart, she spurs ti moune to death and elaborates the need for suffering to occur during love, this compounded with the fact erzulie says that there have been others before ti moune highlight that she likes to play with the lives of mortals by continually testing love against death for the sake of amusement, which is seen during and the gods heard her prayer, therefore revealing that the goddess of love is not as benevolent as she is portrayed, in this essay i will

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characters that deserve the world: ↳ ti moune – once on this island

they named her “Desirée Dieu-Donné,” or “God-Given Desire,” but in their affection, they called her simply, Ti Moune.

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musical characters i love: ↳ the gods – once on this island

asaka, grow me a garden. please, agwe, don’t flood my garden. erzulie, who will my love be? papa ge, don’t come around me!