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[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

I have seen that you are using the photo I took before we parted ways. You have dropped your surname too.

What is happening to you?

I care. And will always do. And I hope even you are not okay, that you still seek for happiness.

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

I am Happy for You

Hi. Its me, writing again. Just to let you know, that I am doing so well and really great.  Angel is already engaged. I am happy for her too. Got to wish her happiness without any heaviness in my heart.  I saw that you have already unblocked me. And you are having a baby, again. Well, I smiled. I am happy for you. To tell you honestly, I have wished you good life before. Never have any bad intentions. I know having a child is your dream, although you told me you don’t want the day before your wedding.  Haha. Have you heard that Judy is pregnant again?  Ngayon ko masasabi na I have finally let go of you. You were amazing. But I have to give my all sa kanya. She’s wonderful. Hindi ako marunong magluto, pero gladly, chef naman tong isa. Ironic diba.  Nel added her as a friend. Binura ko. I know you want to keep an eye on me. But I have to shut the way for you to be able to do that. Nel is a great friend of mine, before she is to you. Soooo, I am still keeping her despite that she is becoming a medium for you to know how I have been or how I am doing.  I doing great.  I am sorry.  There’s nothing for you to be worried about anymore. I am more capable than I was. More matured than before. But I am still the Kim na nakilala mo. Maybe the most transparent person, still. I have learned a lot of things after two years. I have already managed the things I speak of, when I am angry. I tried and still trying to be the best version of me.  You are my great love..........but just like what I told you.....I was a precious stone that you left in the shore. Already picked up by the precious person you want me to have before you went away. Guess this person will never let me go. So I am going to sing you a song. “Someday, someone’s gonna love me.......the way I wanted you to need me, someday someone’s gonna take your place”.  Thank you, Cristina. For letting me go and for not choosing me. Because of that, she found me. And I am never the type of person who lets go......I am going to hold onto her until I can.  So, I am going to stop writing now about you and for you.  This is the end of the chapter of the ghost of you.  I wish you good and happy life.  Take care.  Sincerely,  TOTGA

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

Hello. At dahil september ngayon, naalala kita.

We met. We loved. We said goodbye diba.

Marami akong tanong na gusto kong malaman. Yung iba doon nasagot na. Naliwanagan na ako. Pero marami akong ayaw isipin kaso naiisip ko. So sisimulan ko na.

You. We met last February 2019, naalala mo nung i waited 5 hrs? During that day, alam ko hindi maganda ang pakiramdam mo, that you were sick that you were taking meds na ayaw mong ipakita sa akin. What are those?

April. Last time that we met each other. I asked you if pregnant ka na because I saw physical changes on you, but you told me no.

I want to know why you lied to me? Aware ka na what ever you told me, naniniwala ako. And naniwala ako doon.

Sabi mo sa akin, bawal kang mastress. I was naive. Kasi the time I reached out sa Husband mo, was the time I have decided to let you go and start on my own. Late din akong nag enroll for the review that time and yung electricity sa tinutuluyan ko was cut. Eventually another family moved in doon. Life was a mess.

I was blamed for everything. Ng bestfriend mo at yung isa pang kaibigang ipinakilala mo sa akin. Threatened me. Knowing she knew everything. But I never harmed you before. I just waited for you. Just tried. Toxic oo. Pero hindi ko alam na buntis ka. I want to clarify that.

Lahat ng lies na eventually nalaman ko kung anong totoo about you, are okay. Wala na akong grudges doon because I loved you. But I want to tell you this, I am sorry. I am sorry Cristina. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ka nasa isip ko. Pero this might be the month of the year na ipaparemind sa akin kung ano yung bagay na ginusto ko pero hindi para sa akin. Time na, bakit nga ba ako pumasok sa isang heartbreak na hindi ko alam kung kelan ko malalabasan.

Gusto ko lang din sabihin na continue being happy. Mag iingat palagi. You messaging me from time to time is okay. The last time di ako yung nakabasa kundi yung jowa ko since January.

We are living together. Blessing in disguise lang dahil I was forced to move out sa dati kong tinitirahan.

Those are the things about me. I am going to review again. Tutal work from home ang set up ko. But soon, ill be going out of the country to reach the dreams I made for us. Takce care.

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

Sa susunod na habang buhay. 

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

I am Happy Now

I found my other half already. <3

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

I love you. 

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

Hindi ko na maalala yung mukhang sinaulo ko noon. 😊 Yung mga litrato nating dalawa, kaya ko na ring tignan ngayon. Loving you was very painful no? Pero kahit ganon kasakit, never akong nagreklamo non. Yun na lang yung tanging alaala mo na meron ako.

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

Alam kong hindi na mahalaga yon ngayon. Pero sino ka ba talaga, Cristina?

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

I was always true to you. All my feelings were sincere. Why do I have to know that most of who you are isn't the one that I have loved the most? Bakit parang ang daming pretentions? Bakit? I really don't know until recently.

Bakit ako yung napili mong paglaruan? Bakit walang naniniwala kapag sinasabi kong minahal mo ako? Ikaw minahal ako.

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

— Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets (via books-n-quotes)

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

I have always wanted you.

I have always wanted more of you.

I loved you.

I still do.

I tried to keep you.

I tried to set aside the pain.

I tried to be happy for you.

I tried to keep my distance from you.

I tried waiting.

I tried all other things.

I tried.

I tried to no longer think of myself.

I tried to unlove you.

I tried to make myself believe that you never loved me.

I tried to sleep them all away.

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

“Stay away from the ones you love too much. Those are the ones who will kill you.”

— Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch (via books-n-quotes)

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

Remember me?

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

Tang inang buhay to

[alwaysandforeveryourstruly]

Hindi ako masaya 💔