alysofthegetthrough - Tumblr blog

[alysofthegetthrough]

We all want to thank you, Child, for defending yourself. Because as you spoke against me, as I repeated what had been said to me, you allowed me to realize that I had been left without defense, and without the knowledge or ability to defend myself.

No one else can define our reality for us.

Never let anyone tell you that nothing is changing when everything feels like it's different.

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In order to stay in your child's life you have to add something of value. Same as with anyone else.

We stop communicating with our families when the exhaustion of every interaction overtakes the fantasy that the word family means something other than pain.

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Alyse gets so confused, so much dysphoria sometimes. This face isn't hers, she won't speak with this voice and she doesn't understand this way we move through the world.

Something triggers us and suddenly she's up front, a bisexual femme wearing a man's face and only remembering half of how we got here.

Those days are hard. Knowing that we're plural helps. Knowing that controlling emotional elevation keeps us all in contact helps. Knowing that this is fairly normal for trans people really, really helps.

No matter who we are, we always feel like us. Luc feels authentically Luc, Bryan feels audaciously himself, and Alyse doesn't feel uncomfortable until something reminds her that she isn't really her anymore. It's hard to tell who we are without our checks, like voice dysphoria and what we call one another when we front.

Being plural is a fucking wild ride, but we're all very grateful that we're never alone.

[alysofthegetthrough]

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

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This is a mood.

Silver Eyes 2020.

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I still want stacked 90s piercings.

Blue Oni Speedpaint

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Yes.

Yes this is acceptable wolf-like behavior.

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Is there a possibility that I can identify as transmascfem? I’ve seen a couple people talking about the label but I’m not sure if it should or can apply to me…I’m AFAB and was on T for about 3 years (I have recently gone off of it), and I feel like my identity is both transmasc and transfem because being off T is making my body transition in a feminine way again. But it gives me euphoria!! I love being gender confusing, it brings me so much joy. I guess I’m just wondering if the term “transmascfem” is offensive? Or doesn’t apply to my situation? If so, do you know of any other terms that might fit?

hello! thanks for taking the time to stop by!

your experience actually does fall into a lot of transfemasc/transmascfem experiences! while it does not apply to ALL transfemasc people, a lot of folks who identify with the experience are detrans in some fashion- not in a way where they hate their identity or previous body composition or anything like that, but rather have stopped transitioning as much in that direction for one reason or another

I have been on T consistently basically since i started it, but, around 2014 - 2015 i had to socially transition as male and try to pass as cis male until 2020. it was not me and i couldn't stand doing it anymore so i stopped and while i stayed on T and am still on it, i have detransitioned socially from trying to pass as a cis male to dressing, acting, and presenting femininely in conjunction with my masculine body

i think your experience definitely falls under the umbrella, and especially if you feel as though you are having to transition back into femininity and womanhood due to how you are perceived and treated, that is a transfeminine experience. hope that helps, take care, good luck! if you need any more help feel free to stop by!

[alysofthegetthrough]

Maybe it's a dream maybe you're plural.

You feel you’ve been here, once before, in a memory that was not quite yours.

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It me.

my inner child did enough healing i’m giving her a glock

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there’s a misconception that grief only happens when we lose people. this is not true. we can grieve circumstances, relationships, missed opportunities. in fact, sometimes when you find yourself plagued with waves of emotion from sadness to melancholy you may be grieving yourself. the version of yourself that you might have been if things had been different, or if only you had said something, or if someone had stood up for you.

[alysofthegetthrough]

Do you have any advice on finding names? I’ve been struggling with figuring a name out for myself and would appreciate it

I've answered this a few times, but just in case tumblr isn't wanting to show the posts, here are some rapid-fire ideas that I've seen help others (and myself, to an extent):

1. Look on baby name websites and consider names that are meaningful to your culture/religion/country if you have an idea about a theme you want your name to be. For example, if you are Native, look for common Native names if you want your name to reflect your Native identity.

2. Look to people or figures you admire. Do you have anybody in your life who changed you? People name their babies (and themselves) because they were inspired by that person all the time! It's not unheard of to have the name of a person or even a fictional character

3. Ask your parents or guardians what they would have named you if you were born differently. That can be a decent place to start if you'd like to involve other people in your naming process, however know that they ultimately don't have to be the ones to rename you if that isn't something you want (though if you do, that's great!).

4. Try out names in different scenarios. You can use potential names when you order food, or if you're naming a video game character, or if you are signing up for social media, or in any situation where you have to provide a name. See how it feels to be called that name, see if it feels natural for you to respond to it, or if it just doesn't feel like you.

5. I imagined my name being used on things like official documents, like, for example, a diploma or being read out by an Official Person™. I found that it felt natural to see my name on those super official documentation in a way that no other name truly did. Your name will be used on many occasions, so it is worth it (I think) to consider as many situations as you think will apply to your life and see how it makes you feel.

6. This one is most important (I think), but: don't be afraid to change your name if you find something you like more. Your name shouldn't feel like a ball and chain you're begrudgingly lugging around everywhere, feeling like you've tethered yourself to it forever because you chose that name instead of that one. If changing your name at any point will make you feel better, then do it. It is your name.

[alysofthegetthrough]

????????

[alysofthegetthrough]

a past therapist explained to us that plurality is extremely common in trans people because we are very used to having to live alternative lives in order to stay safe, or keep things quiet and live relatively peacefully. whether or not that person dissociates or develops trauma doesn't really matter, from a young age we start living several lives-it only makes sense that many of us adapt to live as many people.