alyss-not-cis

[alyss-not-cis]

things you shouldn't say to (or about) an autistic person:

you don't know any better

stop pretending like you don't know what I'm saying

how don't you understand? it's so simple

r slur. dont say it period.

stop being so dramatic, it's not that big a deal

stop using your autism as an excuse

*explaining things in a condescending tone like we're children*

smol bean, so precious and innocent

well it's not like they can understand anyway

*talking about us like we're not there*

you're faking for attention

but you're not that autistic

but you're really good at talking!

everyone's a little autistic

stop doing those weird motions! you're drawing attention!

you're a buzzkill

it's so hard to talk to you

oh so you're like a robot! a machine!

nevermind. (you basically admit that we're not worth the extra few seconds it would take to include us.)

*laughing or shrugging us off if we say we don't understand*

don't take things so seriously (especially when we talk about ableism. never say this.)

you're reading too much into it

wow so you're like not even human

oh so like sheldon cooper?

I know a lot about autism. I've watched rain man

but you're not screaming or flapping your hands?

but then how are you talking

oh so you must be really good at math

so are you like really good at chess?

I bet you're really good at playing a lot of instruments

ohmygosh, the good doctor is my favorite show! it's sooo good

sometimes when I'm in a bad mood and I'm tired, I can't tell what people's faces mean, I'm probably a little autistic too haha

you're just a little awkward/it's just social anxiety

you're exaggerating

so can you tell what this face means? *makes some random constipated expression* (I think it means you're ugly, Susan.)

you're just quirky!

don't be so sensitive

they're not all the way there...

I thought you'd be ranting or info-dumping about your special interest 24/7

I met an autistic person before but you guys are nothing alike

but you're not a boy?

but you're not white?

I read somewhere on [insert obscure, non-factual blogging website] that you could cure it by lighting incense. (stop trying to shove cures at us. they don't work, and we don't want one anyway.)

that's so tragic

your parents are so strong!

but then how are you making eye contact with me?

so you don't feel any empathy?

are you like a psychopath?

autism moms are superheroes

you're emotionless

so you must be really nerdy and into sci-fi huh

I bet you'll cure cancer! (unless they have explicitly stated their interest in medical research or stem, don't assume that that's where their interest lies)

why are you so anti-social?

have you even tried to make friends?

it's not that loud, I'm not gonna turn it down

don't rely on aids! you'll get there through hard work and determination. aids will only slow you down in the long run

you're insane

you're no fun. you're like a cranky old person

this show has really good autism rep!

what do you mean it's not good representation? I think you're being too harsh and judgmental

but you're actually really nice? I thought autistic people had no filter

no you're not, I would know

that must be so hard for your family

so are you low- or high-functioning?

do you read really fast like reid from criminal minds?

I wish I was autistic

you're really akward

you're bad at conversations and social cues. (thanks, I hadn't noticed.)

no, don't call yourself "autistic"! say "person with autism", because you are more than your disability ❤

but you don't look autistic

autistic people, feel free to add more :)

allistic people are encouraged to reblog, but don't clown

[alyss-not-cis]

the french senate has voted so that no girl below the age of 18 can wear hijab or niqab in public and that no hijab-wearing muslim mothers can accompany children on school field trips. furthermore, the french government is moving to ban halal slaughter of poultry by july 2021 on the grounds this method of slaughter has been deemed “less humane” than standard french practice.

primarily white “feminists” who otherwise advocate for bodily autonomy have either been silent or explicitly supported the first piece of legislation. here is a change.org petition created to oppose the hijab/niqab ban. as a reminder, when you go to sign, do not select the option to donate: none of the funds go to the cause. when you’re signing, use numbers from 75001 to 75021 (french zip codes) because international/fake zip codes will invalidate your signature (via zhongsliang on twitter).

i’ll be adding more information/links as i get them so please check the original post for the latest updates!

edit 1:  if you’re using one of the above zip codes, enter paris when prompted for your city (via varonasdarling on twitter).

edit 2: here are two more petitions (1, 2); use the same instructions as above when signing.

edit 3: parisian zip codes only go up to 75020! do not use 75021.

[alyss-not-cis]

Eggs: Over Easy

Steak: I’d rather not

Milk: No thanks

Alcohol: Nah

Warm Drink: Carmel Latte

[alyss-not-cis]

Nothing about us without us.  Image description: [pale purple and yellow background with dark text] This April, don’t support an organization that harms autistic people. [crossed out logo for Autism Speaks] Support one built by autistic people, for autistic people. [logos for the Autistic Self Advocacy Network and the Autism Women’s Network]

[alyss-not-cis]

We Were Born This Way

If you’ve ever been confronted by a religious person about your gender identity, you may have heard this argument.

“You’re trans? That’s blasphemy! You’re saying God was wrong because He put you in the wrong body!”

But in reality, God wasn’t wrong. Let me explain why that is and what the Bible says about it.

1. The Science Behind Being Trans

Being bigender, I’ve often questioned how I came to be both a male and a female. Could it all be in my head? Could I just be confused? After much research in the science behind transgender identities, I realized there isn’t much science to intersex or genderqueer people, but one thing is for certain; science supports trans identities.

There have been many different theories to the becoming of trans individuals, and this sparks much taunting and dismissive behaviors from transphobes. But there was a time when we didn’t know that the planets revolved around the sun, and people taunted the now widely known and respected scientists that led us to the conclusion that the planets do in fact revolve around the sun and not the Earth. What does that have to do with anything? Well, that just means we’re just now learning about the science of trans identities, just like we, at one point and time, were first learning that the planets revolved around the sun.

If you’re interested in doing your own research about the scientific theories and studies done in the trans community, here are some great resources;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwanSrXOOH0&t=8s

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0956797620971654

https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2016/gender-lines-science-transgender-identity/

2. The Consequences of Sin

In Genesis Chapter 3, we see Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit and sin is brought into the world. Here we see the death of animals, the development of thorns, the pains of childbirth, and other consequences of sin mentioned. All of this transpired because of the fall of man, and this brings me to my next point.

If a child is born blind, does that mean God was wrong? Does that mean God made the child wrong, or that He was supposed to give them sight? Could He really be so cruel?

Actually, this unfortunate happening is seen as a consequence of sin. Because humanity sinned against God and brought the tragedies of death and sickness, sometimes things like this happen. It isn’t brought by the child’s sin, or the parents’, but the world’s as a whole.

But God uses these mishaps to grow people into who He meant them to be. The child who was born without sight could grow up to develop a better form of communication or reading for the blind like Louis Braille, educate and promote equal rights for the blind community like Helen Keller, or even become an amazing musician like Joaquin Rodrigo.

The same goes for the trans community. Even though God made me both a man and a woman in a woman’s body, it wasn’t because He was wrong or wanted to punish me. It’s because He knew it was going to help me grow, because He had plans for me to help others, speak up against the discrimination, and help myself by accepting who I am.

3. Lady Gaga Was Right, We Were Born This Way

“I’m beautiful in my way, ‘cus God makes no mistakes. I’m on the right track, baby, cus I was born this way.” - Lady Gaga

We aren’t mistakes. We aren’t confused. We aren’t wrong. God made us exactly how He planned on making us; and it wasn’t to be cruel.

Look at the other trans people who have accomplished amazing things. 

Jenny Bailey is a famous English politician who served as the mayor of Cambridge in 2007-2008. Leslie Feinberg is an author, speaker and activist who’s helped countless other trans people accept who they are. James Barry was a great British surgeon, and Lynda Cash is an English Naval officer and the first Trans person to serve in the Royal Navy.

God doesn’t make mistakes, and He made you. Therefore, you aren’t a mistake, and neither is your gender.

Thank you for reading, and remember to stay safe!

- Alyss

[alyss-not-cis]

Transitioning as Bigender

Hi!

As a bigender, there are a lot of things I wish I could change about my appearance. I wish I could find that right balance between feminine and masculine that best represents my personality and who I am. But, with every change comes a critic.

For example, a year ago I met this guy (let’s call him Liam). Liam seemed to really like me. We had hung out on quite a few occassions and faced some challenges along the way. Hell, we even got in bed together a few times. I found myself falling for the guy, but I knew I had to come out eventually to him. At the time, I didn’t really know my gender identity, but I knew I was pansexual. I tried to open up to him, and I could tell he was pretty shocked. A little disgusted, too. That got me thinking...would he really like me for who I am? Or would I have to bury my identity to appease him?

After about a year, I’ve come out to some close friends and my workplace about being bigender. They all were supportive and loving, and I was ecstatic!

After coming out, I wanted to do something to shake my dysphoria. Nothing too drastic, as I wanted to ease into my newfound identity (and I’m still as much of a girl as I am a boy, so I didn’t want to take too much from my feminine side), so I decided I wanted to cut my hair shorter.

The first person I thought of when making this decision was Liam. Would he be okay with my hair being shorter? Would he think it’s gross? Would he think of me differently if I looked more like a boy? I started to think that maybe I should stick with my current appearance to make him more comfortable, but then I realized something.

I’m not living for him. I’m not even dating him. I’m not living for anyone but myself.

So, I cut my hair. I still want it to be a little shorter, mind you, but it’s still a massive difference. I’ve gotten comments about how people liked my hair the way it was, but I don’t care. I am who I am, and I’ll look how I wanna look, and I’ll be who I want to be.

Now, with my new trim and new sense of confidence, I decided that I want to pursue top surgery if possible, and have started the research process.

Tldr; don’t let the opinions of others affect how you want to live your life. You wanna cut your hair? Cut your hair. You wanna get that new tattoo? Get that new tattoo. The Bible says, “There is only one lawgiver and judge, He who is able to save and destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12)

So I say this to you, be who you want to be. Don’t hurt yourself for the expense of others’ thoughts, and don’t hurt others for your own. Live to be you, and the best you.

Thank you for reading, and remember to stay safe!

-Alyss

[alyss-not-cis]

Everybody, listen up!

[alyss-not-cis]

Elliot Page and TIME Magazine <3

Over the past week, much controversy has come out from star Elliot Page’s feature on the cover of TIME Magazine. The trans-rights activist and well known actor was interviewed by TIME about his transition, the struggles he faces in the media, and the dysphoria that followed him throughout his career.

The article also acknowledged Joe Biden’s decision to allow transgender military rights, the TERF mindset of J.K. Rowling, and other trending subjects regarding trans rights.

The article then goes on to describe the day Elliot came out as transgender on Twitter. Page goes on to explain how he feels his representation for the transgender community is vital, and how he wants to help spread his truth.

Going on to relay Elliot’s early movie career, TIME does Mr. Page justice in representing the actor in a positive and open-minded light.

You can read the article for yourself at https://time.com/5947032/elliot-page/

For more commentary on this subject, check out Youtuber Samantha Lux’s video;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0JdHaYlENU

[alyss-not-cis]

Why I Chose My Name As Bigender

Hi all! It's Alyss, here to tell you all why I chose my bigender name.

Once upon a time, back in the ancient times of the early 2000s, I was born. My mother and father were constantly disagreeing on my name, as my father wanted to name me Jersey or Boston (we lived in Michigan at the time, so I'm not sure exactly why he chose those two names) and my mother wanted to name me Alyssa. Long story short, my mom won.

Fourteen years later, I started struggling with my gender. I had already had trouble deciphering what exactly I was as a child, but that confusion was lost in the mix of life. But for some reason, my freshman year of highschool was when the dysphoria really set in.

Now, I really didn't know I was bigender at the time. All I really knew was I wasn't just a girl, but at the same time I was a girl. So, I wanted to change my name as a new person.

I wanted a name that was more gender neutral, but not so far away from my birth name because I tended to like 'Alyssa'. I didn't exactly know how to make Alyssa a gender-neutral name, so I turned to Latin for help.

The word 'Alyssa' ends with -a, generally associated as first declension nominative, and since it's a singular noun it would fall into the always feminine first declension rather than the third declension nominative (which is very flexible with it's endings).

Taking off the -a, you have the stem of the word; 'Alyss'. This word mostly comes from the word Alyssum; a flower used to cure rabies once upon a time. The word Alyssum comes from the Greek meaning for 'without madness'. Being a Latin word, though, this word falls under second declension neuter.

Actually, since Alyss is the stem of a Latin word in general, it could be given either a feminine, masculine, or neuter ending. Since this makes it open to all genders, my fourteen year-old self decided to change my name to simply 'Alyss'.

Of course, this means that when someone calls me 'Alyssa', it brings me a wave of discomfort and dysphoria. It's something I can forgive though; it's hard to make the simple change of taking off the '-a', and it's a pretty uncommon name. My family is also an exception because I haven't come out to them yet, and they're used to saying 'Alyssa'.

In conclusion, if you're having a hard time picking a name that best suits your gender, you really don't have to think as hard as I did. It could be as simple as going from Samantha to Sam, or Alex to Alexa. Or sometimes you don't even need to change it, it all depends on what you're comfortable with. But if you do have a friend who comes out to you and makes even the slightest of changes to their name like I did, please be polite and use their preferred name. Even if it's silly to you, it still brings them so much joy and shows that you really do care.

Thank you so much for reading, and remember to stay safe!

-Alyss

[alyss-not-cis]

My Oppression as a Pansexual

Hi there! My name is Alyss, I'm a bigender pansexual, and I'm a Christian.

Being a Christian, my family is extremely conservative. Like, Ben Shapiro conservative.

I was adopted when I was 10, and started homeschooling in a Christian community when I was 11 because I was being bullied in my public school. During that time, I was undergoing a lot of depression and guilt because I realized I started liking girls (this was before I identified as bigender).

In our community, homosexual acts and feelings are considered demonic, as well as mental health issues. I was struggling with both, and became overwhelmingly suicidal because of that guilt. I attempted suicide twice at the age of 11 and my parents never did anything to help me. I was terrified of coming out to them about my feelings towards other girls, so only tried to talk to them about my mental health. They believed that there was a spiritual problem with me, and instead of taking me to a therapist or looking more into the problem, they had family pray over me.

I felt like the black sheep of the family, and stayed in the closet battling my sexuality for years after. Then, when I was 14, I accepted my sexuality as bisexual. I had a few flings with both men and women in the Christian community, and tried to help as many people in the LGBTQ+ Christian community as possible because I had also endured their feelings. Then, at the age of 15, I started my sophmore year in a Christian highschool.

In this highschool, you don't celebrate Halloween, you can't show your knees or shoulders, baseball caps are a sin, etc. I had found a group of LGBTQ+ allys and members in the school and we became amazing friends until my senior year. I had switched my label to pansexual because I had a small relationship with a nonbinary on Instagram (who is still one of the nicest people I have ever met), and had a few fellow bigender partners. By this time, I was at the beginning of my senior year and a lot of people in the school knew I was pansexual.

The school had a VERY strict rule against LGBTQ+ to where you weren't even allowed to talk about it without receiving academic probation. The second quarter of that year, I had a failing grade in Chemistry, so my mother and I were called into a meeting with the school's director and my chemistry teacher. I had already been through this process before, but I had a terrible amount of disrespect for this chemistry teacher. Not only did she make the class about politics (not chemistry, which is what we were PAYING for), but she made extremely offensive comments about the LGBTQ+ community in the class (I was the only student in the class who wasn't straight, and almost everyone in that class knew except for her).

During the meeting, the director had decided to bring up a couple of complaints she had heard about me. One was the fact that I came to school in a onesie (it had footies that were against school policy), and I had worn "dark" make up. Then the last was that I was claiming I was pansexual.

I thought my heart had stopped, and my face went pale. Neither of my parents knew I was pansexual, and now I was being outed at my school in front of my mother and homophobic chemistry teacher.

The next half hour was spent listening to lectures about how I was giving a bad influence to the younger, more impressionable kids at the school and that I needed to seek help. My mom tried to defend me, saying "Well, I'm sure she didn't mean what she said. Right?" And she looked at me. I said no. I meant what I said, and you know what? I was proud of it.

I had to sign an agreement saying I was on academic probation for breaking the rules for the next coming quarter. I was crying my eyes out the whole day, sobbing my eyes out in front of anybody and everybody (making my one-on-one tutoring session VERY uncomfortable for my pre-calc teacher). My parents had now found out I was pansexual.

That night, I had sent out a text to my group of friends about what had happened, trying to seek comfort. They were incredibly supportive, yet very hostile towards the director. I had laughed it off as a joke, and sent a text saying "Put the snitch in a ditch." A very immature comment, and I do agree that I shouldn't have said that.

The next morning, my mother had received a phone call from a detective saying I was under investigation for death threats against the director. I was immediately expelled breaking the probation by saying I was pansexual. All of my friends in that group chat were also expelled and under investigation.

I'm now not allowed to speak to any of them, and was forced to tell my parents I was straight because I was about to be kicked out. I'm now paying for my own education to complete my senior year and have lost connection to almost every person I was once friends with.

My point here is; being a part of LGBTQ+ in a Christian community as a minor is terrifying. I'd heard of many coming out horror stories from people I was close to, and hated seeing them suffering like I did.

I do consider myself a Christian, but you can be a Christian and not be this hateful.

The Bible says "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others?" Matthew 5:43-48.

Even if we, as members of LGBTQ+, are enemies to these conservative extremists, this behavior is unbiblical. The comment I made in the group chat was hateful, and I repent of my actions. I never should have said that, and I have learned from my mistakes. With that being said, it doesn't excuse the efforts of this school. I still love the people there, and am willing to treat them with respect, but I am not going to ignore discrimination.

My parents have even more oppressive. Whenever I'm around, they throw slurs at homosexuals on T.V., and they make fun of me openly behind my back in front of my younger brothers. They even accidentally sent a message in a group chat that I was in, making fun of the fact that I supported trans rights. And when they found out I could see those messages, they said they were entitled to what they said because it's "unnatural" and my feelings didn't matter.

This past week has been the worst so far with their homophobic and transphobic comments, it's gotten to the point where I can't even wear a hat backwards without my mom breaking down.

With that, I wanted to make this post as a safe space for anyone in a similar place and say that you're not alone. You are valid, you are not "filled with demons", and you are beautiful. I know that pain you're feeling, and I'm offering to help comfort and support you. God LOVES you, no matter what any Church Karen says.

Even if you don't believe in God, you're valid and safe here. You don't need to harbor any guilt for who you are, and you are gonna come out of this a strong, admirable warrior. I love you all, and remember to love yourself too.

Thank you for reading this, and remember to stay safe,

-Alyss

[alyss-not-cis]

An Introduction

Hi all!

Welcome to the Alyss Not Cis page! My name's Alyss, I'm bigender, and I'm a pansexual. I only recently came out as bigender after a long time of questioning, and have had much support from my workplace and friends. I'm so grateful for those people in my life, and have decided to create a safe space where others can find that love as well.

But every rose has its thorn.

I've grown up in the Christian community for almost all my life. I believe I am a Christian, but I have seen much hatred and condemnation from people in these Christian groups that I sincerely do not agree with.

Diversity of highschool students because of pro-BLM standpoints.

Shaming and outing those in the LGBTQ+ community.

Misgendering trans and nonbinary students intentionally.

Anti-maskers.

Hatred towards other religions.

Humiliating and dismissing those with mental health issues because they're "filled with demons".

I cannot tell you how many students in these communities are suicidal, self-harming, and exude hate towards religion because of the oppression they face for their opinions, feelings, sexuality, gender, and the color of their skin.

I've decided to start this blog with stories of my own oppression, and the struggles students around me suffer in their homelife and schools. As someone who's studied the Bible all their life, I know what the Bible truly says and will refute the gross arguments given.

It's time to rise up against the hatred and sinful accusations against those that are different. It's time for people to understand that what these extremists preach isn't true! That God loves everyone, and there's nothing that can change that.

1 John 4:8 "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."

If you're reading this and have faced oppression like this in any case, whether it be for mental health, because you are a part of LGBTQ+, or whatever it may be; please feel free to send me your own story. I would be more than happy to discuss your oppression, talk about what the Bible says in actuality, and let you know that you really are loved.

Thank you for reading, and remember to stay safe.

- Alyss