ambersky0319

[ambersky0319]

When I went from selling beds to jewelry I only had to move across the parking lot, the two businesses were so close together. My commute was the exact same I just parked on the other side, it was pretty great.

One day a couple came in for an engagement ring and I was helping them out and unbeknownst to me they were going through the psychological torment or knowing I’d just sold them a bed but then they walked to a different store in the same shopping center and there I was helping them again. Was I the same person or some copy/paste NPC that indicated their world was not as complex as they previously thought Truman show style, maybe I was a glitch in the matrix, or perhaps I had an identical twin who sold beds.

They finally broke and told me I’d sold them their bed and I laughed and thanked them for letting me be part of their relationship milestones. We all joked that next I’d get my real estate license and sell them a house.

I think it would have been funnier if I could have gotten an escalating trifecta between sex toys -> bed -> engagement ring.

[ambersky0319]

Retail Jobs I’ve Applied to:

You need to have AT LEAST three years of prior experience in this exact field for this entry level position. The last thing we want to do is spend more than five minutes training you. Why have you worked such a wide variety of jobs? Where’s your commitment? You better have amazing references. Oh, and complete these online tests to prove to us that you are worthy of us possibly glancing at your resume before we throw it straight in the trash. You better be available every hour of every day - anything less means you’re not truly committed to this job. Remember, people like you are a dime-a-dozen and easily replaceable, and you should be grateful that we’re paying you slightly more than minimum wage. You’d better not be expecting any benefits.

The Investment Company I Applied to:

Oh, you’ve got a bachelor’s degree? That’s excellent. Not in business? That’s fine - getting a degree at all shows that you’re willing to put in the work and learn. No prior experience specifically in this field? No worries - we’ll train you. This is a Monday to Friday position. Obviously, we’ll be paying you a living wage for this entry level position, and you need to use your PTO days, because they only partially rollover to the next year. What sort of year end bonus are you expecting? Let us tell you a little bit about our standard benefits. …are you okay? Why are you crying?

[ambersky0319]

Something i think about pretty often, is when retail workers complain about people being at their store when it's open. Like during the holidays etc

Like, the customer will say something along the lines of "oh wow, they have you working today?" And the worker will think "I'm working because you're here!"

But the thing is, the store isn't open because customers are present.

Customers are present because the store is open

If the store was closed, then of course nobody would be there trying to shop. But it's not like people are going to see an open store and decide not to come in when they need or want something

And since the powers-that-be decided they wanted to make money, they also decided to open the store on that particular day. And since they're open, that means they need employees to come in to work

Like. I know it's easier to blame the customers cuz they are right in front of you (and because customers are usually a pain in the ass on the daily), but they are not the enemy in this senario. They're not the reason the store is open

Focus your ire where it belongs

[ambersky0319]

Time to clock out

[ambersky0319]

I just got a review that was three stars and it just said, “Eh it was okay”

Just like that.

No punctuation.

This girl bought a bed from me and I got her a great deal, I made literally no money on it cause I was trying to get her a bed as close to her budget as I could.

Eh it was okay

The whole store is just laughing and repeating it at me. It’s so funny. I was exactly okay.

[ambersky0319]

I wonder how many people realize most retail chain stores are holding together with spit, prayers, and a frog-in-boiling-water company culture where you go from the guy upset at the higher ups to the guy upset at the new hires because don't they understand this is important??? cut management, cut hours, cut everything but profits, running the people who do work for them and do care into the ground ragged. I'm so fucking tired. oh and don't forget to tell them about our company credit card!!! we HAVE to sell company credit cards!!!

WHEN can we be free.

[ambersky0319]

There’s two guys buying a bed from my coworker. The guy buying signed and said, “That’s good enough, they don’t check them anyway.”

His friend countered, “I used to think that. I’d just draw penises in all the signature boxes, but my bank called and asked me to stop, so I know they’re looking at them.”

[ambersky0319]

so today a couple was trying to use self checkout and the machine freaked out on them. (This is a common occurrence; every time this happens, the machine repeats "PLEASE WAIT HELP IS ON THE WAY" nonstop in a loud feminine voice. This doesn't stop unless someone comes over and manually overrides it to shut off.) I had them come over so I could check them out manually, because honestly it's faster than trying to reason with the blue flashing devil from hell that is our self checkout. The whole time the machine is screaming PLEASE WAIT PLEASE WAIT PLEASE WAIT.

Anyway they did not speak much English. So about halfway through the lady looks over at the machine (still screaming), sighs, points, and asks, "how do we kill her?" as you can imagine i will be using this every time an inanimate object goes wrong on me now. how do we kill her

[ambersky0319]

my customer service voice has an accent that i dont have regularly and i dont know where it came from. and i say this, because i cant do TH sounds at work anymore, and i need you to know that this is all joel smallishbeans fault /j

[ambersky0319]

Another highlight of my very busy day was an awesome older dyke who locked eyes with me when she came in and it was a gravitational pull between us, two queer people in the showroom full of straight folks.

She was so sweet and so nice and was patient as I ran around between multiple groups. When things calmed down she asked to see pillows and I was like, “You want it to keep your neck nice and straight,” and the second I said it our mutual gayness vibrated and I was compelled to add, “but not that straight”

She burst into laughter, “I knew you were gonna say it!”

“I never get to make that joke! But I knew I wanted to help you the second you walked in.”

“What are you saying, I look like an old dyke?”

“What else do you think you look like?” I laughed, gesturing to her short cropped hair, her sweater vest flannel combo, her comfy sneakers, her posture.

She laughed even harder. She found a great bed and hugged me at the end, thanking me profusely. A highlight even on a day where I got to help the same couple ten years later.

[ambersky0319]

I frequently recall this incident from several years ago, when I was an assistant manager at a large chain store. (After the incident happened, I notified my store manager and she stood by my decision, so I have no regrets, despite the the customers attempting to involve corporate.)

I helped a woman at the register. I wished her a good day. I moved onto the woman behind her. I start bagging her items.

I guess the first woman was trying to get my attention, or something. I don't know, I wasn't looking at her. Next thing I know, I hear, "ARE YOU DEAF, OR SOMETHING??"

I looked up and saw the first woman standing off to the side, looking upset. My current customer and everyone else in line is staring at her.

I said, very calmly, since I am very used to stuff like this, "yes, I am deaf, actually. Can I help you with something?"

My current customer BLEW UP at the first woman. She started shouting at her, telling her to apologize, all that jazz.

The first woman was shouting now, too, saying stuff like, she shouldn't butt into other people's conversations and such.

I straight up raised my voice over both of them and said very firmly, without outright yelling, "I'll thank you not to cause a scene in my store. If you want to argue, the door is right there. In the meantime, I have customers to help, so ZIP. IT."

The first woman left, but the second woman stayed, looking smug. "Some people," she said as I handed over her bag of items, "are so rude."

I smiled my customer service smile and said, "yes. And you're one of them. Have a good day. Don't come back."

She was like, "but I was HELPING you!"

No, lady. You made it worse. You caused a scene at my workplace with another customer, pretending to stand up for me. I wasn't mad that she asked if I was deaf. She didn't know. She could have been more polite about it, yes, but it's customer service. I don't expect much. But the MOMENT you heard that I was deaf, you made me a martyr for your cause. I am not a victim! I DO NOT need you to make a fuss about something so minor that I would have forgotten about in a few hours.

Why do hearing people believe I am incapable of defending myself? Just because I DON'T? I don't do it, because it takes more energy than it's worth. I don't CARE what the world thinks about me. As long as my true friends know the truth, and love and support me, then I don't care. I don't want to waste my time and energy correcting people of their prejudice, because I "don't look deaf." Or because I don't "sound deaf."

I had speech classes all throughout grade school, so I can speak without a typical "deaf accent." I read lips VERY well, so even without my ears in, I can follow entire conversations, and you'll never even realize I'm not wearing my ears. I ran an entire retail store for 4 months while completely deaf, before I got my first cochlear implant. I am VERY capable of doing ANYTHING I put my mind to.

So no, I don't want you to "defend" me so you look good in other people's eyes. Defend me for me. Speak up BEFORE I have a chance to say, "yes, I am deaf, actually." Step in when you notice someone trying to get my attention from across the room instead of assuming I'm incompetent. Defend me because I'm a human being, not because you think I'll make a good poster child for your fight against "ableism."

Having broken ears doesn't make me weak, so stop treating me like I am.

[ambersky0319]

I had the strangest interaction with a customer a few days ago(for context, I work at a gas station/convenience store) I was bagging her items and she just goes "Oh my goodness! You have such long finger!" And like, I suppose I do but wth lol(picture of hand for additional context) She then asked if I played piano which I do not and then she went on her way, I fuckin love people

[ambersky0319]

I worked retail for a long time and people really do treat you like shit sometimes. But between selling sex toys, mattresses, and jewelry I can say definitively I got treated worst selling mattresses.

All three of my jobs were in sales but selling sex toys we were allowed to put people in their place, and in jewelry people didn’t want to misbehave in a fancy setting. But people at the mattress store had no problem yelling at me, hitting on me, or insulting me to my face.

For a while I was managing my own store for the company. I ran a small location and had struggling employees placed with me for rehabilitation. If their numbers improved they could go back to bigger stores. If not, they got fired.

So this meant I was the manager of problem employees. At one point both of my people had a foot out the door. The company was going downhill and changed computer systems and they were fed up. Consequently, they made a ton of mistakes, because they just didn’t care about the job or learning the new systems.

I strolled into work on what was essentially my Monday to a shit show. Deliveries scheduled without product, wrong things on orders, poor expectations of the process, you name it. I spent the entire morning getting yelled at for mistakes that weren’t mine.

The final straw came when a man called furious that his moms bed for her nursing home had a delivery window he couldn’t accommodate. This wasn’t a huge disaster since we still had time to deliver it before she moved. I ran him through the options and he just kept screaming at me. Not for a solution but because I was there and he was frustrated.

My heart filled with malice and a cold fury. A calculating part of my brain had a realization in that moment that I could stay a punching bag or I could strike back.

I quavered my voice delicately, taking in a shaky, warbling breath like I was trying not to cry. “Sir,” I quivered through fake tears, “I don’t know what you want from me! I told you what I can do, I didn’t make this mistake I’m just trying to fix it!” My voice broke pitifully on the last syllables, sounding in all ways like a sweet innocent person being yelled at who’s just trying her best, really!

It was like I’d doused him with cold water. My emotional act was the realization that he was screaming at someone who was just doing their damn job, and he was being an asshole. He hastily made an excuse and hung up.

I had a third employee covering with me from another store that day who heard everything. When I hung up, I looked over to see them watching me with an awed expression. “Did… did you just pretend to cry?”

“I absolutely fucking did,” I said with feeling, “and I’d do it a thousand more times. If that’s what it takes for someone to realize they’re behaving like a fucking prick, they deserve it.” The employee looked at me like I was their hero.

The man called back, apologizing profusely, having magically arranged his schedule to accommodate delivery. He came in later that week with an apology Starbucks gift card. I was gracious in my acceptance.

I pulled it a few more times before leaving the company. I felt no shame in the ruse. If someone behaves so poorly that it’s plausible their behavior would drive someone to tears they deserve to feel absolutely wretched about it.

[ambersky0319]

Went to Joann fabrics today

Jesus Christ what is wrong with people! There were at least FIVE of these signs around the store (i checked out at the cutting counter, so I didn't see if there were any at the front registers, but I'd be surprised if there weren't)

[ambersky0319]

[ambersky0319]

Odd interaction at the bookstore yesterday. Got summoned to the register in my capacity as Employee Who Knows About Old Books because a customer wanted to know what Don Quixote was about.

(Yes, this does mean that the employee already at the register wasn’t able to answer that question. I have a lot of “what are they teaching you in those schools?” interactions with my younger co-workers.)

Anyway, I gave the customer a quick synopsis. He asked if I’d recommend it, and I said I would, that it was not only well-written but also pretty accessible & engaging for a novel written four hundred years ago. Then he asked if he would “see things differently after reading it.”

He then elaborated that he really liked Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist and wanted other books he read to have a similar paradigm-shifting effect.

(I haven’t read The Alchemist, specifically because every time someone recommends it to me they use this same kind of language, which makes me feel like they’re trying to get me to join a cult rather than read a book.)

We are in a college town, so “young person who’s just learned what philosophy and poetry are and now thinks of themselves as Deep” is a Type of Guy we encounter fairly frequently.

(Just a few hours before this, I overheard a young man recommending a book to his female companion because it would “help with her creative energies”.)

So it’s not that this is particularly unusual in vibes, it’s more that… this seems like an odd standard to hold a novel to before you read it. And it’s an odd question to ask your local bookseller — “will this book change my life?” I dunno, man, I don’t know your life. Maybe it will, books do that sometimes.

Anyway, I told him “probably”, because honestly Don Quixote is a really good book and I think more people should read it. And, I dunno, maybe it will make him see things differently.

(It might even make him see novels as intrinsically worth reading rather than as vessels for personal change.)

I have no idea if that worked, because as mentioned I wasn’t at the register at the time. I went back to organizing the used books and didn’t see him again. Kind of hope he bought it.

(To be clear, at no point during this conversation was he holding a copy of Don Quixote. I had to instruct him to look under “C” for “Cervantes” if he decided he wanted to buy it. His curiosity was sparked by a set of novelty bookends.)

[ambersky0319]

My douchey new coworker has interrupted me more times than I can count and speaks on every topic like he’s the world authority on Everything. I am trying to reign my feelings in at merely disliking him rather than full on loathing but it’s a struggle.

One of the ways I’m doing this is by venting small conversational potshots at him. On the topic of coffee he was saying someone make a joke about him having an elaborate order. I quipped, “Yeah, I can see it. You have the mannerisms of someone with a fussy coffee order.”

He stiffly informed me he drinks black coffee.

Later he told me and another lady who he was only speaking to because there was no other guys on shift yet, “Yeah I drink two energy drinks a day.” This was delivered in the cadence of a brag which baffled both of us.

She said, “Your poor liver.”

He shrugged and said, “I just have a higher tolerance than most people.”

“I think that’s what alcoholics say,” I snipped and his mouth went flat. He would go on to inform us he once spent $2000 on dinner and we were both wildly unimpressed to his vexation.