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[amillieky-blog]

My Experience with Teenage Pregnancy and Surgical Abortion.

This may not be the best subject to start a blog with, trust me I know that. It is controversial and personal, and in all honesty, probably shouldn’t be something I’m writing about while watching Megamind. But anyway, why I have chosen to write about it is quite simple. I have two main reasons. The first one being that this is something I would like to remember. I know that saying that will sound strange to a lot of people but it’s true. I am happy with the decision I made and would like for future me to come back and read this, knowing that my decision was the right one for me at the time. The second reason as to why I want to write about this is because there should be more information out there, coming from different point of views. I want to share my own experience because I know that it is different for everyone and having more information out there can only be beneficial rather than cause harm. I should probably start talking about it then, but I’ll give you a brief introduction to myself and how this was a situation I found myself in.

I’m Millie and I turned eighteen years old in July of this year, (2017.) I have never been in a romantic relationship before but have had sexual partners throughout my teenage years. I found out I was pregnant on the 13th of November 2017 and had my abortion on the 24th of November 2017. I had a feeling I was pregnant the day my period was late, though didn’t test until a week later. Only a few weeks before my missed period I had unprotected sex around the time of my ovulation. If you don’t keep track of your ovulation I suggest you do that. There are many apps that you can download that help do this, I personally use the app Flo. I should have gotten Plan B the next morning but chose against it as I had the mindset of, “it would just be a waste of money, it’s not that likely that I’ll become pregnant.” Yeah, very dumb right? It was a naive move. Anyway, why I did not test as soon as my period was late, was due to the fact that I was in the middle of my Year 12 exams and for a week I kept telling myself, “it’s probably just stress.” Again another very naive move. I’ll skip to the part where I actually tested.

The day I chose to take a test I was home alone. I walked up to the local shop with my dog and my biggest concern for the day was hoping no one I knew saw me, I don’t know why but I genuinely believed that the test would come back negative, ignoring all of obvious signs. The two big ones being my period currently being eight days late and the fact that my boobs were beyond sore. I got home and waited a little while until I had to use the bathroom, taking the test then. – Sorry, this is taking forever to write I keep getting distracted by Megamind. So I waited a few minutes and checked the test, seeing two pink lines which made my heart rate triple. I didn’t know what to do and without even thinking I called my friend. Did I tell her? Nope. I called and the second I heard her voice I rambled about how I was calling just to say hey, I think I repeated that about 70 times. For some reason I physically couldn’t tell her. I hung up after around five minutes of shaky high pitched talking and decided I wanted to take another test. This time when I walked up to the shop I bought a digital one. I had heard that they are more reliable and I wanted to be certain. That one came back positive as well. After that, I didn’t really think about it. I just pretended that nothing had even happened, which only lasted for a few hours. I texted the same friend from earlier, I chose text as I thought I physically wouldn’t be able to say or speak about it out loud. She told me that I needed to tell my parents which I knew was true. I knew that the first thing I had to do was go to the doctor and go from there. In order to do that I needed my health insurance card which my parents had. I kept if from them for a few days, wanting to tell my mum so badly but I just couldn’t.

When I finally had the courage to speak about it, I went to my mum. It was night time and she was sitting outside away from my dad and brother so I thought that it would be a good time to tell her. I remember starting with, “I need to talk to you but I’m scared you’ll hate me.” I think I repeated that multiple times before saying that “I took two pregnancy tests and they both came back positive.” Her reaction wasn’t how I expected it to be. I should have gone in knowing she would be unhappy with me but in my mind I thought she would tell me it would all be okay. Maybe another naïve move. When I think about it I cry. It’s probably the hardest part of this. She asked me if I was serious, I said yes and she looked at me in a way I had never seen her look at anyone. She looked at me like I meant less to her than a stranger. I know she never thought that, and never has, but that’s what it felt like. She told me she was going to be sick and went inside, closing the door and leaving me outside. I cried and went to my room. After a few minutes she came out of the bathroom and said that we had to tell my dad. We sat in the living room, I was still crying and my dad walked in. He sat down, saw me and said “you’re pregnant.” I don’t know how he knew but my hysteria was probably a good indication. After I nodded, he just talked about it. He said that this happens to lots of people and it can easily be fixed. He told me that he thought an abortion would be the best way to go and that everything would be okay. I wasn’t expecting that from him, I thought that my parent’s reactions would have been reversed. I cried more, he hugged me and my mum did too. She even apologised to how she initially reacted and then I went to my room. I just wanted to cry and sleep. I am beyond grateful that both my parents said they were there for me. I know that some people who have been in the same situation have not had the support of their parents which I cannot imagine how difficult that would be. Having my parents know what was going on was a big relief to me.

Two days later I had an appointment with my regular GP. I told him, he made me do another test and came back saying that is was “definitely a positive.” He then asked me what I wanted to do and I immediately replied with “I don’t want to have a child.” I hadn’t really put much thought into it previously, but all I knew was that I didn’t want a baby. I was in the middle of my high school exams, I am too young in my own opinion and I had absolutely no money. So having a baby was out of the question. After I had decided I wanted an abortion I started thinking about the future which backed up my decision. I’m eighteen. I want to go out and get completely smashed with my friends, I want to go clubbing, I don’t want to be growing a baby while all my friends are out having fun. Thinking further into the future, I want my children to be fathered by someone I want to spend my life with. That was enough to make me completely content with having an abortion.

My doctor then wrote me a referral. This is not needed to have an abortion in Victoria, Australia but I chose to have it so my general GP was aware of my health at all times. With a referral, the abortion clinic would know where I’ve come from and keep my doctor updated throughout the process. Abortions here are easily accessible which is another thing I am grateful for. For my referral I had to get a blood test to confirm my blood type as they need to know when any type of surgery is being done. There are two types of abortions, one of them is a chemical abortion which is also called a medical abortion. This involves taking a pill which softens the uterus and the cervix, detaching the embryo from the uterine wall. Following this, another pill must be taken which will cause the uterus to contract and the cervix to soften more, expelling the embryo. In Victoria, this can be an option for women who are less than nine weeks along. If you want more information about this type of abortion, then I suggest googling it or calling a clinic. They will be open to answering any questions you may have. I want to clarify that I am not talking about this topic in a scientific way or anything like that, I am telling my story from my point of view and I am not a doctor. I chose to have a surgical abortion. From the information I was given it showed to be the least painful and most effective way to go which was what I wanted.

Following my blood test, I was tested for any sexually transmitted diseases. Having an STI at the time of a surgical abortion increases the risk of infection. I tested negative to them and then was left to call the clinic and make an appointment. I didn’t call. I didn’t want to and made my dad do it. If that wasn’t proof enough that I am too young to have a child then I don’t know what is, I can’t even speak to strangers on the phone. The appointment was scheduled a week after my doctor’s visit.

The week between the doctors and the clinic I had the worst morning sickness. I was waking up early every morning to throw up and was dizzy whenever I stood up. At this stage I was 6-7 weeks along. When the day came to have the abortion, I was terrified. Not of the abortion itself but at the fact that I was going to be put to sleep. I have never undergone any procedure that has required me to be put to sleep and after watching fourteen seasons of Grey’s Anatomy I was convinced that I wasn’t going to wake up. I did by the way. My mum went with me for the appoint which went for four hours. I arrived there at 11am and filled out a few forms about my general details. We waited in the waiting room for about half an hour, there were a few other people there but I was definitely the youngest. A female nurse called me into her office, my mum came too and I was asked to lay on a doctor’s bench. The nurse then preformed an ultrasound to locate the position of the embryo, group of cells or whatever you want to call it. It was not a baby. On the ultrasound it looked like a little black circle and that’s it. If the nurse didn’t point it out I wouldn’t have seen it. After that, I sat at her desk which was in the same room and she asked if I was still wanting to go ahead with the abortion which I was. She seems serious when I’m writing this but she was actually the sweetest person ever. She has a daughter who is my age and was completely understanding about the whole thing, it wasn’t a scary environment at all it was welcoming and friendly. She then asked if I wanted to know what the process was which I responded, “yes, wait no, no, yes, okay yes, actually no, maybe.” I already knew what was going to happen from researching it and getting information prior. Which may I add, when I was looking for information regarding surgical abortion I searched it on YouTube. I watched the first video that came up, the one with the most views and became terrified. The information that they gave me sounded scary and then when it got closer to the end of the video it was clear that it was prolife propaganda. The “doctor” saying things along the same lines as, “I’ve performed many abortions in the past twenty years and the physical and emotional consequences it has on the mother is enough for me to strongly advice against it.” I just want to let you know that that’s bullshit. I have experienced no negative physical or emotional changes since the abortion, only positive ones. I am happier and not throwing up my guts anymore. It’s a little of topic I know but it angers me. The first thing that women see when they want to find information about abortion are lies and information that is altered in a way to make it sound terrifying. I feel sorry for the women who have also had to watch similar material. Planned Parenthood have a video about surgical abortion which I will link here: www.yout.be/L0OEDPtn-QM. It is made for women in America but it also outlines the general procedure, not in a manipulated way at all. When writing in surgical abortion on YouTube, this video wasn’t shown until I was on the third page. I’m sure you can see the issue with that,

Okay, back to my story. After my ultrasound, the nurse briefly described the procedure. She said I will be taken to theatre and be put to sleep. Once I was asleep, the doctor would do some swabs to test for STI’s, just to be sure. Then they preform the abortion which involves a small suction tube going up into the cervix to clear out any tissue from the embryo along with the lining of my uterus. After this the doctor would use a camera to make sure everything was collected. Once explaining what was going to happen, I had to sign multiple forms consenting to being put under, for the abortion to occur and that I was aware of the associated risks. I am not going to talk about the possible risks and encourage you speak to a health care professional if you would like to know.

I was given two pills to place under my tongue by the nurse which would help soften my cervix, as I am young it has never really moved and had to be dilated to 7cm for the abortion. – If anyone is interested, Megamind finished and I am now midway through The Incredibles. See, I take forever to write. Anyway, I took the pills which tasted like chalk and waited back in the waiting room to be called in by another nurse. I stayed in the waiting room for half an hour, the pills causing me to cramp a little. The cramps just felt like regular menstruation cramps but a little more intense. I wore a hospital bracelet on my wrist which was strange, I hadn’t had one of those since I was born. Usually I rip them off. Finally, I was called by the nurse which at this stage I had been at the clinic for an hour and a half. I was taken into a room which is hard to explain, however I explain it everyone will have a different image in their head. Essentially it was a large room with four hospital beds in it, curtains giving each privacy. I was told to lay on the bed, they gave me blankets and everything and I waited there for an hour. During this hour someone came and clarified my details and put a needle thing in my arm which they would put the sleep medicine in. See, told you I wasn’t a doctor. Speaking of, I also met with the doctor. He was a male who looked around 80 years old to be honest. He talked to me about the procedure once more and said he’d be with me shortly. While waiting for the hour, I asked every single nurse who walked past if they had ever been put under and if they woke up. They laughed and it was really light hearted in the room again. I don’t know how they do it but it wasn’t scary at all. I helped one of the nurses work out how to use Uber.

When it was time for the actual abortion, I walked into the theatre room. They placed a blanket over my shoulders and body, I was wearing a hospital gown with no pants on underneath. The room was intimidating. I was a large chair which sort of looked like a dentist chair but with things that would spread and lift my legs apart. It was in the middle of the room next to a tray with metal equipment next to it. I’m going to be honest and say I have no idea what that equipment did. I know they used it but I don’t know how. Again, clarifying that I am in fact not a doctor. I wasn’t scared of the abortion at all, the only thought I had was, “I hope this guy doesn’t mind my pubes.” I was however still nervous about sleeping. I was out into the chair, laying down and asked what it will feel like. She responded with, “have you ever had a few too many vodka cruisers?” in which I wanted to respond with, “how do you think I got here,” but I held myself back. That’s all I remember about the theatre room. I was completely gone and knocked out.

I woke up an hour later back in the bed I started in. The nurse came in and said it went well and I asked if I was “annoying to wake up,” which she said I woke up on my own. I asked because before the procedure, the women next to me didn’t want to wake up. They kept trying but she just wanted to sleep. This just shows that every single person’s experience is different. She let me put my clothes back on when I felt ready which was right away, I also had the biggest pad I have ever seen between my legs. It was basically a nappy. I got redressed and was lead to another room. This room had couches and chairs and a TV, but even better it had food and water. I forgot to mention that you aren’t allowed to eat or drink before the procedure, so I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before and it was now 4pm. So I downed so much water and cookies, you have no idea. After 30 minutes recovering in there, I was able to go, and that was the end of it.

I’m so happy with the experience. The people were kind and understanding, I didn’t once feel pressured or worried about the doctors and nurse’s abilities. Overall, the procedure cost $400, with Medicare paying for the ultrasound and the medication. Most of the money was due to the recovery time spend in the facility. If you are still a student, they may lower the price as well. So that’s about it really. The abortion was exactly a week ago today and I have been experiencing menstrual like cramps and light bleeding since then. I was expecting more bleeding as I had read it could be a lot. The abortion has not negatively affected my mental or physical health in anyway. I have a doctor’s visit in a few days to confirm that everything is going the way it should be.

That’s my experience with surgical abortion. I would like to leave by again saying that everyone will have a different experience. I am happy with my decision; I am happy that I had the ability to make a decision. I am happy that my family supported me. I’m just really grateful. – Also The Incredibles just finished and with that perfect timing I’m going to try get some sleep.

Thank you for reading, I’d love to hear what you have to say.

- Millie