The toadstools grew in a perfect ring the width of a childโs hula hoop.
They were upside down and clinging to the ceiling like stalactites.
โI have concerns,โ she said.
โSo do I,โ they said. โIf I step under it, does it count as stepping into a fairy circle? I mean, if a plane flies over a fairy circle it doesnโt count as stepping into it, but do the same rules apply if youโre walking under a fairy circle?โ
โRight.โ
โActually, what is the area of effect for a fairy circle? Is it like a sphere that has the same circumference of the circle, so if I just duck underneath it Iโll be fine? Or is it a cylinder? How far up does the cylinder go? Or down, in this case.โ
โRight.โ
โSome of the many mysteries of the fey we may wonder about forever.โ
They continued to stare up at the ring of toadstools. Thoughtful seconds ticked by.
โSee, my concerns are mostly about how much moisture you have in your room.โ
โSorry?โ
โYou have mushrooms growing out of your ceiling.โ
โOh.โ
She patted their back with sympathetic pity. โI appreciate that you live in a world of whimsy and delight, and I donโt want to squash that because I love you, but I also really donโt want you to die of black mold.โ
โSheโs right, you know,โ said the goblin sitting upside down in the circle.
my favorite thing about tma/tmagp is its great diversity. tma was filled to the brim with sopping wet cat men. pathetic failure men. but not a ton of sopping wet cat women.
thankfully the magnus protocol has fixed this by being absolutely full of sopping wet beautiful pathetic cats of women.
this is the kind of diverse representation we need.
A white noise song poster i made some time ago. I would change some stuff in it if I was making a poster like this now, but i still love this one with it's imperfections.
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. โDo I look like a fool?โ said the frog.ย โYouโd sting me if I let you on my back!โ
โBe logical,โ said the scorpion.ย โIf I stung you Iโd certainly drown myself.โ
โThatโs true,โ the frog acknowledged.ย โClimb aboard, then!โ But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. โWhy on earth did you do that?โ the frog said morosely. โNow weโre both going to die.โย
โI canโt help it,โ said the scorpion. โItโs my nature.โ
___
โฆBut no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.
โIt was going to sting me anyway,โ muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. โIt was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.โ
___
โฆBut no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. โWhat do you think youโre doing?โ said the frog.
โJust a precaution,โ said the scorpion. โI cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fairโs fair, isnโt it?โ
They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.
โAfter the kindness I showed you!โ said the frog. โAnd you threatened to kill me in return?โ
โKindness?โ said the scorpion. โTo only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpionโs sting.โ
___
โฆโJust a precaution,โ said the scorpion. โI cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fairโs fair, isnโt it?โ
โYou have a point,โ the frog acknowledged. โBut once we get to dry land, couldnโt you sting me then without repercussion?โ
โAll I want is to cross the river safely,โ said the scorpion. โOnce Iโm on the other side I would gladly let you be.โ
โBut I would have to trust you on that,โ said the frog.ย โWhile youโre pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land Iโd be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.โ
โBut by the same logic, I canโt possibly withdraw my stinger while weโre still over water,โ the scorpion protested.
The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. โSo, I suppose weโre at an impasse.โ
The river rushed around them. The scorpionโs stinger twitched against the frogโs unbroken skin. โI suppose so,โ the scorpion said.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. โAbsolutely not!โ said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.
___
A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtleโs thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.
They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.
___
โฆHalfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtleโs thick shell.
The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpionโs sting, was offended at the scorpionโs ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. โDo I look like a fool?โ sneered the frog. โYouโd sting me if I let you on my back.โ
The scorpion pleaded earnestly. โDo you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!โ
โThatโs true,โ the frog acknowledged. โEven a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!โ
But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.
โI knew it,โ snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. โA scorpion cannot change its nature.โ
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.
โIโve only myself to blame,โ sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. โYou, youโre a scorpion, I couldnโt have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now Iโve doomed us both!โ
โYou couldnโt help it,โ said the scorpion mildly. โItโs your nature.โย
___
โฆโWhy on earth did you do that?โ the frog said morosely. โNow weโre both going to die.โ
โAlas, I was of two natures,โ said the scorpion. โOne said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.โ It smiled wistfully. โAh, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldnโt it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.โ
___
โBy the way,โ said the frog, as they swam, โIโve been meaning to ask: Whatโs on the other side of the river?โ
โItโs the journey,โ said the scorpion. โNot the destination.โ
___
โฆโWhatโs on the other side of anything?โ said the scorpion. โA new beginning.โ
___
โฆโAnother scorpion to mate with,โ said the scorpion. โAnd more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.โ
___
โฆโNothing we will live to see, I fear,โ said the scorpion. โAlready the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?โ
___
โI love you,โ said the scorpion.
The frog glanced upward. โDo you?โ
โAbsolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. Youโre a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isnโt that love? Isnโt that trust? Isnโt that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?โ
The frog swam on, the both of them silent.
___
โIโm so tired,โ murmured the frog eventually. โHow much further to the other side? I donโt know how long weโve been swimming. Iโve been treading water. And itโs getting so very dark.โ
โShh,โ the scorpion said. โDonโt be afraid.โ
The frogโs legs kicked out weakly. โHow long has it been? Weโre lost. Weโre lost! Weโre doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. Thereโs nothing on the other side, donโt you see!โ
โShh, shh,โ said the scorpion. โMy venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.โย
โYou - Youโve killed us both,โ said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously.ย โIs this - is this what itโs like to drown?โย
โWeโve killed each other,โ said the scorpion soothingly. โMy venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?โ
โWhat a foolish thing to do,โ murmured the frog. โNo logic. No logic to it at all.โ
โWe couldnโt help it,โ whispered the scorpion. โItโs our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - Itโs all our fault! We are both blameless. Weโre together now, darling. It couldnโt have happened any other way.โ
___
โItโs funny,โ said the frog. โI canโt say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But Iโm doing this for you regardless. Itโs strange, isnโt it? Itโs strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?โ
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. โDo I look like a fool?โ said the frog. โYouโd sting me if I let you on my back!โ
โBe logical,โ said the scorpion. โIf I stung you Iโd certainly drown myself.โ ย
โThatโs true,โ the frog acknowledged. โCome aboard, then!โ But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frogโs back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the riverโs bank.
The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. โAh,โ it muttered.ย โFor some reason I never considered this possibility.โ
โBecause you were never scared of me,โ the scorpion whispered in its ear.ย โYou were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?โ The scorpion bowed its head and drank. โHow could anyone kill you without killing themselves?โ