among-the-broken-ones-blog

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Even in the darkness there shines a light, and that light is your happy ending. Take time getting to it, indulge in the challenges, it makes it even more amazing in the end because you'll have experience.

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Rant

I hate how I look. People always tell me I'm beautiful, that I'm gorgeous, but I'm not. I really am not any of those things. I'm ugly, worthless, and unwanted. I hate my face, my hair, my broad shoulders, my arms, my hands, my thighs, my back, my stomach, my knees, my calves, my feet, my laugh, my smile, and so much more. I hate everything about me, and it makes me want to puke when I look in the mirror. I'm disgusting and don't deserve to live and no one understands that.

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I’m a pretty nice guy.

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No one ever said it would be this hard.

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Date someone who will date you

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                                                          I’m scared, Professor.                                            Well, I’d consider you a fool if you weren’t.

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AN INTERVIEW WITH DEAN WINCHESTER

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current aesthetic: cute english teacher who’s high key banging the history professor

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With You

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What is Death?

what is death? "Like when you die, that's death." Death is so much bigger. Death is the end of something, but the beginning of so many others things. When you die, you don't actually die. You just live as a soul, seeing the world but not being able to interact. It's stressful because you want to reach out, be in contact with reality as you can see it; but cannot touch. You want to die, get away from the madness; but you can't. You're already dead. There's no escape and you go insane, become restless. That's when you can reach out and touch, you're feeling human emotions, being human once again after you die. But in those little moments in life, when they can reach and touch you don't notice the dead who are restless. You only notice the living who were once before invisible to you. ~BQ

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Postive words, from postive YouTubers

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Chapter 1 {Remain Calm}

THIS IS ALSO ON WATTPAD MY USERNAME IS @b_winchester_ if you want to check it out :)

~Marlowe's POV~

I sit on my couch watching a show called ‘Teen Wolf’ when I hear quite footsteps coming from the hallway. I slowly reach for my gun that I have stashed under one of my throw pillows and turn off the safety. I stand up from the couch and creep towards the doorway, hiding with my back against the wall. A black silhouette tip-toes into the living room, glancing around.

I flip the light switch on, pointing my gun at the mystery person. “Put your hands up and turn around!” I yell. The person slowly turns around and smiles at me. “What the hell Dean!?” I yell at him lowering the gun. “Hey, don’t you what the hell me Marls!” Dean says pointing a finger at me. “Oh whatever, Mr.Don’t Die.” I say smirking and crossing my arms over my chest. He shakes his head and I scoff, putting the gun down on my coffee table.

“That’s the best plan I’ve ever come up with, so don’t dis the plan master.” He replies smirking with a glint of who knows what in his eye. “Yeah, yeah. Now, what do you want Dean?” I ask him whilst rolling my eyes. “My dad went on a hunting trip. He hasn’t been home in a few days.” Dean says. I gasp, “You don’t think?…” I trail off. He shakes his head, “No, at least I hope not.” He says sadly. I nod and turn around, heading to my bedroom. “Where are you going?” He asks. “To pack, what do you think?” I reply smirking.

*Time Skip To In The Car*

“So… what was he hunting?” I ask Dean. “I’m not completely sure. He went to check out a two-lane blacktop just outside of Jericho, California.” He says while reaching to turn the radio on. “Woah, woah, woah… please tell me you don’t listen to the modern day crap.” I say disapprovingly. He shakes his head and scoffs, “Hell no, I’m all authentic.” He says pressing play. Metallica starts blaring through the car speakers and I smile to myself, Dean’s always had a good taste in music.

Soon we pull up to an apartment complex. “So, this is where Sammy lives?” I ask Dean, gazing up at the building in front of me in awe. “Yup.” Dean says stepping out of the car and heading towards the fire escape. “Dean, we can’t just break in.” I tell him, flailing my arms around to emphasize my meaning. “Uh, yeah we can.” Dean says while starting to climb up the ladder. “Ok, Mr. I do illegal stuff to feel cool.” I say sarcastically. I hear Dean chuckle under his breathe and I smile to myself.

I’ve always had a thing for Dean, I just never acted upon those feelings because he would never return the feelings. I sigh and start climbing the ladder, “Wait.. how did you know where Sam and I lived? You haven’t talked to either of us in 2 years…” I ask him. He stops climbing and thinks for a few seconds. “I may or may not have kept tabs on you two..” He says proudly.

“Yeah that’s not creepy or anything Dean…” I say. “Oh shut it Marls." He says. Awe, he’s still using his nickname for me. “Whatever Dean.” I say climbing faster to catch up to him. “Stop, this is it right here.” He says. I stop climbing and step onto the tiny balcony. “Be quiet now, they can probably hear us.” Dean whispers to me. I nod and slip through the window he had opened. I turn around to see Dean struggling to get through the little space. I giggle, opening it more for him. I then turn around and look around the room, “Not bad Sammy.” I say nodding in approval.

Dean shakes his head and starts walking around, not noticing the floorboards creaking underneath his heavy footsteps. “Dumbass.” I mumble and follow him. He walks through a doorway and gets about 4 steps into the room before a tall figure tackles him. I run into the room and am pushed away by Sam. “Ow, you douche.” I say holding my head that I had hit on the wall rather hard. They keep fighting for about 20 seconds before Dean gets Sam on the ground. Sam goes to fight against him but Dean stops him, “Woah, easy tiger.” Dean chuckles.

“Dean?” Sam asks. Dean chuckles and sneaks a glance at me to make sure I was okay, probably hearing me slam into the wall. “You scared the crap out of me.” Sam breathes out, clutching his chest. “That’s cause your out of practice.” Dean smirks. Sam then gets the upper hand and flips Dean over, pinning him down instead. “Or not…” Dean chuckles. “Now get off me.” Dean says turning serious. Sam pats his shoulder and stands up, Dean following after him. “Dean, what the hell are you doing here?” Sam asks him frowning.

“Well Marls is here too, and I was looking for a beer.” Dean says. All of a sudden the lights turn on and I see a blonde standing in the doorway. “Sam?” She asks. Sam and Dean turn around to look at her. “Jess, hey. Dean, Marlowe, this is my girlfriend Jessica.” Sam says gesturing to her. “Wait, your brother Dean? and your best friend Marlowe?” Jess says smiling, pointing at us as she lists us off. Dean smirks, “I love the smurfs. You know I’ve got to tell you, you are completely out of my brothers league.” Dean says. I slap his arm and turn to Jess, “I’m sorry about him.

She smiles and shifts uncomfortably, "Let me put something on.” She says. “No, no. I wouldn’t dream of it, seriously. Anyway. I got to borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. But uh, nice meeting you.” Dean says to her smiling. Sam scoffs and looks between us 3, “No, no, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her.” Same says moving to stand by Jess. “Okay,” Dean says smiling, “Um, Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.” Dean says standing there awkwardly. I walk over to him and grab his hand, noticing him relax a little at my action.

“So, he’s working overtime on a Miller time shift. He’ll stumble back in sooner or later.” Sam says trying to convince Dean that their Dad is fine. I butt into the conversation looking at Sam seriously, “Your dad’s on a hunting trip.” I say, “and he hasn’t been home in a few days.” Dean finishes. Realization washes over Sam’s facial features and he goes a little pale. “Jess, excuse us.” He says a little rudely not looking at her.

——–

A few minutes later we’re walking down the main stairwell. “Come on, you can’t just break in in the middle of the night and expect me to hit the road with you two.” Same says seriously. Wow, we are all really serious tonight… “Your not hearing us Sammy, your dads missing. We need you to help us find him.” I tell him. “You remember the poltergiest in Amherst, or the devil’s gates in Clifton? He was missing then too. He’s always missing and he’s always fine.” Sam says frustrated with us. “Not for this long, now are you gonna come with us or not?” Dean asks. “I’m not.” Sam says. “Why not?” I ask him, stopping on the stairs. “I swore I was done with hunting for good.” Sam says like it’s obvious.

“Come on, it wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t that bad.” Dean says. “Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a 45.” Sam said surprised with what Dean said. Dean stops walking and I bump into his back not paying attention, “What was he supposed to do?” Dean asks with wide eyes. “I was 9 years old, He was supposed to say 'Don’t be afraid of the dark’.” Sam says. “Don’t be afraid of the dark? Are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark, You know whats out there.” I told him in complete disbelief. “Yeah I know. but still – the way we grew up after mom was killed and dad’s obsession with the thing that killed her wasn’t healthy, but yet we still haven’t found the damn thing. So instead we kill everything we can find.” Sam says completely and utterly pissed off.

“We save a lot of people doing it too.” Dean says. Sam scoffs at Dean rolling his eyes, “You think mom would have wanted this for us?” Sam asks. I stop and turn to Sam, “Don’t you dare bring your mom into this!” I yell at him. I then hear Dean slam the door open and walk out. I sigh and give Sam a disapproving look, following Dean out the door. “The weapon training and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors.” Sam says. “So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna live some normal, apple-pie life? Is that it?” Dean asks turning to talk to Sam.

“No, not normal, safe.” Sam says crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s why you ran away?” Dean asks while scoffing when Sam nods. “I didn’t run away. I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go, I should stay gone, and that’s what I’m doing.” Sam says with a hint of sadness in his voice. I decide to leave them alone to talk things out, walking over to a curb thats a little ways away, but close enough to where I can hear what they’re saying. “Dad’s in real trouble right now, if he’s not dead already. I can feel it. I can’t do this alone.” Dean says. “Yes you can Dean, plus you have Marlowe with you.” Sam says. Dean looks down at his feet, “Yeah, but I need my brother with me too.” Dean says. Sam sighs and shifts on his feet, looking up at the sky. “What was he hunting?” Sam says while sighing in defeat. A gigantic smile makes its way onto my face, Sammy finally joined the team.

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moonstiel-archive:

Cas being really clingy in the mornings is the best thing though because he’d just lock his arms around Dean’s waist and snuggle into his tummy and refuse to let go and there’s not much Dean can do against the Will of Heaven when the Will of Heaven wants five more minutes so he’d be stuck there with one hand stroking through Cas’s hair as he waits for Cas to loosen his grip and he’ll tease Cas about it later but secretly he loves it shhh. 

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Dean’s favorite part of sex with Cas wasn’t even the sex. I mean, don’t get him wrong, the sex is something even a poet couldn’t put into words. But what he yearned for each night after they either fucked or made love or both, was the afterglow. Dean hated the word “afterglow” but he used it anyway. It was this small fragment of time where nothing hurt. Which meant a lot to a man who had built a life on pain and loneliness. In that small window of reality, after his body was shared with such a profound man, there was nothing in his mind but the reminisce of love. Dean didn’t think people truly grasped that feeling. The reminisce of love. He had faced death, eaten more pies than one man could imagine, saved countless people from horror… and yet the only thing that ever brought him a genuine smile was the way Cas’ hand always reached for him in the darkness that swallowed their room. The hand never hesitated, never wavered in desire, it found Dean when sweat coated their naked bodies and breath was rushing into their lungs. Both of them were tired, drunk off of the feel of their skin connecting. And in that moment, that tender embrace, Dean understood every reason there was to be alive. He’d hold onto his fallen angel until sleep overcame him. He’d breathe easy in the knowledge that this night wouldn’t be the last, and if it was then at least he’d have this other heart beating against his own. Sure. Sex was great. Pie was awesome. But Cas, after sex, was and always will be Dean’s most treasured memory.

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