amosaicofmagic

[amosaicofmagic]

can i say something

[amosaicofmagic]

It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

[amosaicofmagic]

Back in the office/ back on my bullshit

[amosaicofmagic]

the person asserting the make-a-wish child's right to an aryan doordasher is a she-ra fandom blogger embroiled in callout drama who regularly posts thousand word essays invoking the threat of femicide as the reason taylor swift can't come out as a lesbian. just for the epistemology of the concepts here.

[amosaicofmagic]

this is the type of work they’re gonna make high school art students study in ten years

[amosaicofmagic]

Bouie Choi (蔡鈺娟)— City in the Dark (acrylic on upcycled floor wood, 2020)

[amosaicofmagic]

I am obsessed with this botched restoration of a 19th century statue of saint anthony

Look at how yassified he is

[amosaicofmagic]

[amosaicofmagic]

I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.

[amosaicofmagic]

star trek is about. .,the sixties

[amosaicofmagic]

mary shelley writing about a monster rejected and abandoned by its creator and dedicating it to her own father i need to smoke a blunt with her i need to give her head

[amosaicofmagic]

love this vase art of achilles by the achilles painter because it's got it all. the gorgoneion. the cunty little hand on the hip with the half-lidded eyes expression. the sheer fabric tunic with fancy draping and visible dick and balls. incredible work all around

[amosaicofmagic]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[amosaicofmagic]

I have been thinking a lot about what a cancer diagnosis used to mean. How in the ‘80s and ‘90s, when someone was diagnosed, my parents would gently prepare me for their death. That chemo and radiation and surgery just bought time, and over the age of fifty people would sometimes just. Skip it. For cost reasons, and for quality of life reasons. My grandmother was diagnosed in her early seventies and went directly into hospice for just under a year — palliative care only. And often, after diagnosis people and their families would go away — they’d cash out retirement or sell the house and go live on a beach for six months. Or they’d pay a charlatan all their savings to buy hope. People would get diagnosed, get very sick, leave, and then we’d hear that they died.

And then, at some point, the people who left started coming back.

It was the children first. The March of Dimes and Saint Jude set up programs and my town would do spaghetti fundraisers and raffles and meal trains to support the family and send the child and one parent to a hospital in the city — and the children came home. Their hair grew back. They went back to school. We were all trained to think of them as the angelic lost and they were turning into asshole teens right in front of our eyes. What a miracle, what a gift, how lucky we are that the odds for several children are in our favor!

Adults started leaving for a specific program to treat their specific cancer at a specific hospital or a specific research group. They’d stay in that city for 6-12 months and then they’d come home. We fully expected that they were still dying — or they’d gotten one of the good cancers. What a gift this year is for them, we’d think. How lucky they are to be strong enough to ski and swim and run. And then they didn’t stop — two decades later they haven’t stopped. Not all of them, but most of them.

We bought those extra hours and months and years. We paid for time with our taxes. Scientists found ways for treatment to be less terrible, less poisonous, and a thousand times more effective.

And now, when a friend was diagnosed, the five year survival odds were 95%. My friend is alive, nearly five years later. Those kids who miraculously survived are alive. The adults who beat the odds are still alive. I grew up in a place small enough that you can see the losses. And now, the hospital in my tiny hometown can effectively treat many cancers. Most people don’t have to go away for treatment. They said we could never cure cancer, as it were, but we can cure a lot of cancers. We can diagnose a lot of cancers early enough to treat them with minor interventions. We can prevent a lot of cancers.

We could keep doing that. We could continue to fund research into other heartbreaks — into Long Covid and MCAS and psych meds with fewer side effects and dementia treatments. We could buy months and years, alleviate the suffering of our neighbors. That is what funding health research buys: time and ease.

Anyway, I’m preaching to the choir here. But it is a quiet miracle what’s happened in my lifetime.

[amosaicofmagic]

I am what I am, Leila, and if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else’s.

1.24 This Side of Paradise

[amosaicofmagic]

(x)

[amosaicofmagic]

Blossom 九重紫 (2024)

“I don’t have much time left. I want to live for myself and see that openness.“ Song Mo.