ana-yeets

[ana-yeets]

Okay but imagine Yuuri retires from competitive figure skating at 27, and he decides to go back to college to become a teacher.

So this boy walks into class sporting the just-rolled-out-of-bed look with the sex hair and the big comfy sweater and the starbucks cup in one hand.

And you know, he’s enjoying his life, he makes friends in his program and on the weekends he helps his husband teach cute little kids how to skate and they have this cozy little house together in a nice neighbourhood. He probably has girls and guys falling for him left and right.

And then one day, Yuuri’s out with his friends, and they’re at a cafe or something.

And a group of girls comes up to them, and they’re all blushing and nudging each other saying “You talk first!”.

So Yuuri just turns this absolutely blinding smile on them and asks, “Autographs?”

The girls squeak, and nod furiously.

“Sure!” he says, reaching out for the notebooks they’re holding out for him to sign.

And about ten minutes later, after several selfies and autographs and a lot of gushing and squealing and “Please let Viktor know we’re looking forward to Yuratchka’s upcoming season,” the girls leave.

So Yuuri turns back to his friends, and they’re all just staring at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

Yuuri kinda wonders if there’s something on his face.

The first thing that comes out of anyone’s mouths is, “…who’s Viktor?”

And Yuuri’s kinda confused as he replies, “….my husband?”

“YOU’RE MARRIED!?!?!?!?” his friends all shriek.

Yuuri looks down at his hand to make sure his ring is still there. “Yeah?” he says, holding his hand up.

“I thought that was just a fashion statement!” one of the girls exclaims.

“Why did they want your autograph though?” asks another of his friends, and Yuuri just looks away sheepishly.

“I’m…uh….a retired competitive figure skater?” he asks, his voice going higher with embarrassment. “And I…uh…got 2 golds in the Grand Prix…and 2 golds in Worlds….and maybe a silver in Pyeongchang?”

His voice gets progressively quieter as his face gets even redder.

His friends are staring at him in horror and shocked disbelief now.

And he thinks he might as well get it all out now.

“And…my husband might be the most decorated athlete in figure skating history?”

Fics based on this post:

A Name I’ve Heard Somewhere by GwenChan (@gwen-chan)

A Prince in Disguise by lourthor (@kurtdontcurr)

A Real Life Cinnamon Roll by Seito (@seitosokusha)

And the answer is… by nessiesaur

anonymous by eu_nao_sou_um_chapeu (@eu-nao-sou-um-chapeu)

Comfort Zone by BertholdvonMoosburg

Did I Forget to Mention… by nevereverever

Ethical Dilemmas in Sports Psychology: When Googling Your Friend Gets Weird by Adrianners (@adrianners)

How do you not know? by missykristy

icebreaker by Cesare

It’s like some surprisingly inclusive and irritatingly sugar-coated rom-com by RocioWrites (@rocioandthatsall)

Long time no see by ddugeun (@chukichi)

My Fun Fact Is: by stillmadaboutpetra

New Friends by viktuuri (@softvictory)

Now I Know by CassidyMoffett (@sweettigerotakureviews​)

Of College Classes and Googling Friends by IceIceSkaters

Outed By Victuuri Smut by Anonymous

Storytime: Celebrity Blindness by likestoimagine (@likestoimagine16)

Tale of the Russian Punk and the Japanese Cinnamon Roll by JamieAvenBell

The Internet Exists for a Reason by tomorrowsdreams

The Moment of Truth by little_miss_laughs_alot

The Secret Life of Professor Katsuki by FreakingOutGirl

This is Why You Google People by StarlightPhoenix (@cleverlittlejay)

Trivia Night by RinaRose (@marina-and-the-fandoms)

Wait, What? by @realisticallycynical 

Yuuri Katsuki-Induced Feels by @i-w-p-chan

~If you want to officially gift your work to me, my AO3/FFN penname is SkyGem!~

Tumblr posts/additions for this post:

Hilarious addition by @p3hero​

Comic by @lauravian

On why Yuuri’s friends don’t know about Viktor by @blindiemac

Retirement au: Yura edition

Retirement au: Viktor edition by @rocioandthatsall

Translations of this post:

Italian by @randomwalksoul

[ana-yeets]

vanitas is soukoku's child crack theory

From chuuya:

short

blue eyes

same taste in weird ass uneven haircuts

quick temper

depression

From dazai:

black hair

manipulative and a genius

snarky, dramatic asshole

depression

also, like them, he has a homoerotic relationship (and obsession) with his ambiguous friend/rival

in conclusion:

[ana-yeets]

new story idea: royal advisor who was a tavern boy/street rat and was taken in by the king at the ripe age of 14. four years later the king died and the advisor has now become a grumpy old man with a baby face and has to deal with the mess that is the succession. bonus points if teh advisor is absolutely unhinged and is absolutely twenty steps ahead of everyone

[ana-yeets]

Spoilers for Chapter 114.5

This confirms that Dazai is literally the only person who can kill Fyodor since he would nullify the possession. Which makes the "You can't kill me line" way funnier because Fyodor was really thinking

"please for the love of god do not be the one to kill me"

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Akutagawa: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Atsushi: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

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poor Sigma didn’t sign up for this

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I'm sorry I'm sorry I can't help myself

[ID: An edited tumblr text post of the cats egg and cheese, with the icons replaced by Fukuzawa and Fukuchi. "egg" is copy-pasted so that there are seven of him, and the faces of the ada minus Dazai are superimposed over each one. "cheese" is alone on the right, with wan Dazai's face over his. The dialogue reads:

Fukuzawa: "My son Ranpo n my daughter Yosano n my son Kunikida n my son Kenji n my son Tanizaki n my son Atsushi n my daughter Kyouka n their coworker Dazai"

Fukuchi: "are they not all your kids? Why is Dazai not given the son title."

Fukuzawa: "I dont ljke him"

End ID.]

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[ana-yeets]

bsd textposts!! i'm obsessed

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The pattern is long haired men who are always annoyed by him

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[ana-yeets]

thinking of muslim nino again. alya, adrien, and marinette are his built in haram police. they're in the middle of a movie night when the maghrib azaan goes off and nino's like 'oh dw ill just pray it later' and all of them look at him with such disappointment that he guiltily gets up and prays it then and there. they're out at a restaurant for iftar and nino tries to break his fast with a fizzy drink before marinette stops him and brings out some dates and a bottle of water because 'your mum said it's sunnah'. his cousins in morocco assume that since he lives in europe it must be so hard to focus on his deen since no one around him is muslim but he's like oh dont worry my friends are somehow worse

[ana-yeets]

Dazai’s ‘you don’t understand god one bit’ convo is so funny now cause like that was Fyodors homie

[ana-yeets]

The holy trinity

[ana-yeets]

I think we should all ship fyobram solely because one's a vampire and the other's some anemic guy and that's objectively hilarious

[ana-yeets]

Mondstadt NPCs if they had visions..

Charles ● Elzer ● Flora ● Margaret ● Timaeus

[ana-yeets]

A convention where every cosplayer unexpectedly physically transforms into their character.